TERMS OF PUBLICATION.
THE REPORTER is published every Thurs
day Moriiing, by E. 0. GOODRICH, at $2 per
annum, in advance.
ADVERTISEMENTS, exceeding fifteen
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serted before Marriages and Deaths, will
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1 Year. 6 mo. 3 mo.
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Advertising in all cases exclusive of
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JOB PRINTING of every kind, in Plain
and Fancy colors, done with neatness and
dispatch. Handbills, Blanks, Cards, Pam
phlets, Ac., of every variety and style, prin
ted at the shortest notice. The REPORTER
OFFICE has jnst been re-fltted with Power
Presses, and every thing in the Printing
line can be executed in the most artistic
manner and at the lowest rates. TERMS
INVARIABLY CASH.
®art)s.
rTHOMAS J. INGHAM, ATTOR
-L NEY AT I.AW, I.APORTE, Sullivan
County, Pa.
pEORGE D. MONTANYETAT
VX TORNEY AT LA IF—Office in Union
Block, formerly occupied by JAMACFARLANE.*£
WT. DAYIES, Attorney at Law,
• Towanda, Pa. Office with Wm. Wat
kins, Esq. Particular attention paid to Or
phans' Court business and settlement of dece
dents estates.
MERCUR & MORROW, Attorneys
at Law. Towanda, Penn'a,
The undersigned having associated themselves
together in the practice of Law, offer their pro
fessional services to the public.
ULYSSES MERCUR, P. D. MORROW.
March 9,1865.
OATRICK & PECK, ATTORNEYS AT
_L LAW. Offices :—ln Union Block, Towaada,
Pa., formerly occupied by Hon. Wm. Elwell.and
in Patrick's block, Athens, Pa. They may be
consulted at either place.
H. W. PATKICK, apU3 W. A. PECK.
Uli McKEAN, ATTORNEY <t
• COUNSELLOR AT LAW, Towan
da, Pa. Particular attention paid to business
in the Orphans' Court. July 20. 1866.
HENRY PEET, Attorney at Laic,
To wan fa, I'a. jun27, 66.
W H. CARNOCHAN, ATTOR
' T • NEY AT LAW, Troy, Pa. Special
attention given to collecting claims against the
Government for Bounty, Back Pay and Pensions.
Office with E. B. Parsons, Esq. June 12, 1865.
EIDWABD OVERTON Jr., Attor-
AJ/ify at Law, Towanda, Pa. Office in Mon
tauyes Biock, over Frost's Store. July 13, IsSa.
( OHN N. CALIFF, ATTORNEY
O AT LAW, Towanda, l'a. Also, Govern
ment Agent lor the collection of Pensions, Back
Pay aud Bounty.
Aw - No charge unless successful. Office over
the Post Office and News Room. Dec. 1, 1864.
OD. STILES, M. D., Physician and
• Surgeon, would announce to the people of
Rum.- Borough and vicinity, that he has perma
nently locate. at the place formerly occupied by
Dr. G W. Stone, for the practice of his p: ofes
sion. Particular attention given to the treat
ment of women and children, as also to the prac- ,
tice of operative and minor surgery. Oct. 2,'66.
DR. PRATT has removed. to State
street, (first above B. S. Russe!! & Co's
Bank). Persons from a distance desirous 1 con
sulting him, will be most likely to find him on
Saturday of each week. Especial attention will
be given to surgical cases,and the extraction of
teeth. Gas or Ether administered when desired.
July 18, 1866. D. 8. PRATT, M. D.
DOCTOR CHAS. F. PAINE.— of
flee in GORE'S Drug Store, Towanda, Pa.
Calls promptly attended to at all hours.
Towanda, November 28, 1860.
IMAV'D MEEKS—AUCTIONEER.
J All letters addressed to him at Sugar Run,
Bradtnr.l Co. Pa., will receive prompt attention.
I FRANCIS E. POST, Painter, Tow
auda, Pa, with 10 years experience, is con
fident he can give the best satisfaction in Paint
ing, Graining, Staining, Glazing, Papering, ;<fcc.
*3" Particular attention paid to Jobbing in'the
country. April 9, 1866.
J J. NEWE LL ,
COUNTY SURVEYOR,
Orwell, Bradford Co., Pa,, will promptly attend
to all business in his line. Particular attention
given to running and establishing old ordispu
:ed lines. Also to surveying of all unpatented
lands as soon as warrants are obtained. myl7
W r HERSEY WATKINS, Notary
• Public is prepared to ,take Deposi
ons, Acknowledge the Execution of Deeds,
Mortgages, Power- of Attorney, and all other
instruments. Affidavits and other pipers may
be sworn to before me.
Office opposite the Banking House of 8.8.
Russell & Co., a few doors north of the Ward
House. Towanda, Pa., Jan, 14, 1867.
Dcntistrp.
THYENTY-FIYE YEARS EXPERI
-1 EXCE IN DENTISTRY.
J. S. Smith, M. D., would respectfully inform
the inhabitants of Bradford County that he is
uermanantly located in Waverly, N. Y., where
lie has been in the practice of his profession for
t!i past lour years. He would say that from his
i ng and successful practice of 25 years duration
he is familiar with ait the different styles of work
done in any and all Dental establishments in
ity or country, and is better prepared than any
her Dental operator in the vicinity to do work
th-' best adapted to the many and different
a-LS that present themselves oftentimes to the
Dentist, as he understands the art of making his
own artificial teeth, and has facilities for doing
t.se same. To those requiring under sets of
• t;i he vv. ild call attention to his new kind of
a k which consists of porcelain for both plate
and t-ctb , -.iid forming a coutinnous gum. It is
ic durable, more naturai in appearance, and
■" h • -, er adapted to the gum than any other
kind of work. Those in need of the same are
invited to call and examine specimens. Teeth
'■.'vd tn last tor years and oftentimes for life.—
' ' 'urofo. in, rlhtr, and "Nitrous oxide" admin
istered with perfect safety, as over four hundred
patients within the last four years can testify.
I will be in Towanda from the loth to 30th of
every month, at the office of W. K. TAYLOR,
(i rinerly occupied by Dr. O. H. Woodruff.) Ha
ving made arrangements with Mr. Taylor, I am
prepared to do al! work in the very best style, at
his office. Nov. 27,1865.
f)R. H. WESTON, DENTIST
Office in Pattern's Block, over Gore's Drug
and Chemical Siors. Ijan66
W A RI) HO USE, TO WANDA, PA.
Or. Main Street, near the Court House.
C. T. SMITH, Proprietor.
Oct. 8, 1866.
AMERICAN HOTEL,
towanda, PA.,
Having purchased this well known Hotel on
or ige Street, I have refurnished and refitted
with every convenience for the accommoda
i of all who may patronize me. No pains will
-pared to make all pleasant and agreeable.
M<y 3. '66.— tf. J. S. PATTERSON, Prop.
N DER HOUSE, a four story brick
k/ edifice near the depot,with large airy rooms,
• c nt parlors, newly furnished, has a recess in
new addition for Ladies use, and is the most
convenient and only first class hotel at Waverly.
Y. It is the principal office for stages south
■id express. Also for sale of Western Tickets,
and in Canada, on Grand Trunk Rail-way. Fare
to Detroit from Buffalo, 14, is cheaper than any
other route. Apply for tickets as above to
-3-R.kh . C. WARFORD.
tate* 8 care °' ® orees at reasonable
Waverly N. V.. 0ct.26.1866—3m. O. W.
PINE ASSORTMENT OF PRAY
ER Books at the NEWS ROOM.
ahr fkaifiwil gcptte.
E. O. GOODRICH, Publisher.
VOLUME XXVII.
IN MEMORY
Of the old Oaks that stood in the burial
ground at Sheshequin Valley. Some per
son cut them down to save the head-stones
underneuth from gathering mould; thus
wantonly destroying a prouder monument
than man's poor art could ever build.
Grand old trees they were, and ever when
the sad thought i_of dying came to us, we
said, "Sweet will be our rest under their
rustling leaves." Amid their branches the
earliest blue bird sang, and in the autumn
their leaves nestled lovingly over the sleep
ers beneath. O! beautiful, beautiful trees!
our hearts are full and our eye-lids dim
with tears that we shall behold ye no more!
Summers will come, their rare sunshine
bringing
Harvests of blossoms, and golden sheaves,
But never again shall we hear the singing,
Oh! beautiful Oaks! of your dusk greeu
leaves.
Always it seemed that a pitiful sighing
Crept through your boughs when we bur
ied our dpud,
Until we believed it'were sweet to be lying
There with the grass and cool shadows
o'erhead.
Now there are only the white head-stones
gleaming,
Nothing for beauty left under the sky,—
Never again will a summer bird dreaming,
Warble her song where the pale sleepers
lie.
Save for the dear ones who loved us when
living,
Time as he passes the loss might efface,
But ever and ever our hearts must be giving
Some pleasant thought to their last rest
ing place.
How do you know they heed aught of their
sleeping
Ashes and dust lying under the sod ?
This we believe, and glory in keeping,
They do remember earth even with God.
—SYBIL PARK CULVER.
SftUAtH SiiU.
SNOWED UP,
IT is now some twenty years since,
after spendiug my Christmas holi
days with the old folks down in
Northshire, I found myself one fine
morning in early January at our near
est railway station, waiting the ar
rival of the train that was to bear me
back to London and business. Soon
it came in sight, and the cheery face
of our old servant Bob, transformed
through the influence of my father
(who was a large shareholder in the
line) into chief guard, was thrust out
of the window of the break carriage,
giving me an assurance of having a
pleasant companion during my jour
ney to town. The train became '.'ex
press " after passing our station, so
nothing occurred to disturb Bob and
myself, as we sat in his box smoking,
until the whistle called my compan
ion to his break as we neared Kirton
Bridge,some thirty miles on the road.
Here two ladies were waiting our ar
rival. The younger, a lively girl of
seventeen, was, with many cautions
and solemn injunctions on the part of
her elderly companion, consigned to
Bob's special care and keeping for
delivery in due course to whomsoev
er might be in waiting to receive her
at Ilexton, a station twenty miles
nearer to London. Bob was well
known on the line as a steady, civil
fellow, to whom damageable articles,
whether in brown paper or petti
coats,might be safely intrusted ; and
the half-crown slipped into his all
unconscious palm, noticed by no one
but myself aud the hungry, jealous
eyed porter, who had hoped for, but
did not receive, a "tip" for his as
sistance, would not be lost on an old
serving-man if his fidelity ever came
to be put to the test. Up to this mo
ment the sky had been clear, the air
crisp and invigorating, and nothing
had indicated any untoward incident
on our southward course, though it
puzzled Bob to account for the non
appearance of the London down train,
that should have passed us soon aft
er we had quitted Kirton Bridge.—
Looking out to discover any signs of
its approach, Bob drew his head in
again with "Change in the weather,
Master Arthur (he had always called
me Master Arthur, and would now,
poor fellow I suppose, if he could call
me anything). Snow yonder, sir," he
said, pointing to the hills in a west
erly direction, that were already be
ing rapidly hid from us by the com
ing storm. Hardly had he spoken
when the sun disappeared behind the
driving clouds, and first slowly, then
faster and faster, the snow was upon
us iu right earnest. " Reminds me,
Bob, of old school days," I said, look
ing out at the wintry sight, " when
the mail was snowed up, and we got
an extra fortnight at home in conse
quence." " Ah, Master Arthur,there's
no extra holidays for snow now," he
said, shaking his head as though he
suspected me of wishing that trains
were as amenable to weather as
stage-coaches. "Slow pace this," he
added, rising and looking out; " not
short of water, surely ? Why, P de
clare, Master Arthur, 't is the snoic
after all, my late saying notwith
standing. I'm blessed if it ain't thick,
aud drifting, too across this open to
the westward as though 't would
bury you and me, and train and all, ;
before we reach Borton, let alone |
Ilexton,where we stop iu good-rights,
Master Arthur." It was evident that
the snow had commenced falling in i
these regions long before we had en-!
countered it ; here it was, indeed, |
falling and drifting with pitiless se
verity, and though our engine puffed }
and panted and labored, our progress
became slower and slower until, just i
within sight o/ the little shanty dig
nified with the title of Borton Station,
we finally stuck fast. The second
class passengers—the young lady I
have mentioned was the only occu
pant of the first-class carriages—be
came both alarmed and impatient.—
Bob, the second guard, myself, aud
the engine-men were assailed on all
hands with inquiries as to the cause
of the stoppage aud the probability
of overcoming it, the uproar ending
at last iu the whole of tin* company
quitting the train aud making pell
mell for shelter into the little station.
" Had n't we better look after the
young lady, Bob, before she's quite
buried ?" I said, as my friend rejoin
ed me after assuring the excited
crowd at the station that some some
how from somewhere a mythical " pi
lot " would come to their rescue, and
that they would esc ipe with a few
hours' detention at the most.
Bob clapped his hand to his head,
as though a sudden sense of care and
responsibility had perplexed him, and
then we two commenced wading
through the rapidly deepening snow
again. When we reached the com
partment in which Bob's fair charge
was seated, we found her looking a
little anxiously perhaps out of the
window,but scarcely conscious of the
real state of affairs. Being alone,
she had not been intiueuced by the
panic that had seized the other pas
sengers. " Snowed up, miss ; sorry
to say can't go no further, miss," said
Bob, as he opened the door. The
young girl started and seemed for a
moment hardly to realize*the condi
tion of matters, whilst she waited for
further instructions from the guard.
Bob hesitated what to suggest, and,
as if to gain time, introduced me as I
stood rapidly turning into a snow
man on the line. " Master Arthur,
miss ; old master's son, miss," said
Bob, and the young lady bowed gra
ciously, whilst I endeavored to look
gentlemanly and dignified, and failed
utterly. I saw, however, that our
young friend could discern the ludi
crous side of the situation as well as
its gravity, as with a pleasant laugh
she inquired, " Well, guard, what am
1 to do then ?" addressing us both
at once by her look, as though in
many counsellors she might find
safety.
." Suppose we were to carry you,
miss, this wise," said Bub, taking a
cushion off the seat and placing his
arms crossways, while he made a
feint of clasping mine in like fashion.
The improvised chair was soon ad
justed, the young lady seated be
tween us, and, as well protected as
circumstances would admit, was duly
conveyed to the station. The sight
that there presented itself, however,
was altogether the reverse of reas
suring,and 1 saw the young girl shrink
back as she was suddenly intro
duced into the strange company. The
station was a mere hut,where but one
train each way stopped daily to ac
commodate any chance passenger to
and from the scattered hamlets that
surrounded it. The only other build
ings in sight were a couple of single
roomed cottages of the poorest class,
—the one inhabited by the railway
J porter who had chavge of the station,
and his wife ; the other by a labor
er's family. Already some attempts
to ameliorate the hardships of their
lot had been made by the snow-bound
passengers. A store of firewood had
been ransacked, and in spite of the
protests of jits owner, a bonfire had
been lighted immediately in the rear
of the station, round which a group
of male passengers stood, essaying
to warm their frost-bitten extremi
ties ; while as many as could had
crammed themselves into the cotta
ges, and stood drinking, at prices
worthy of a Swindon restaurateur, a
dirty-colored liquid that passed for
tea, of which several quarts had been
brewed from the modest store of gro
ceries laid in by the vendors. In the
station were seated the more provi
dent of the company, imbibing strong
spirits from physic bottles, dissecting
and devouring pork-pies—the fumes
of tobacco everywhere mingling with
their indigestible diet. For the most
part they were decent sort of folk
enough, but disposed—as the manner
is—somewhat too readily to disre
gard conventionalities when placed
in novel and exceptional situations.
To rough it lor a night would to one's
self be but a small matter ; but to
see a well-born, delicate gisl subject
ed to its annoyances and inconven
iences, aggravated as they were by
the too liberal potations of one or
two of the passengers, was quite an
other affair.
" You were going to Hexton, miss,
1 think," said the guard civilly touch
ing his cap.
The young lady was going to Hex
ton. Her mamma lived at Borton
Green, six miles from Hexton by the
turnpike-road, but not more than half
that distance from Borton station ;
the pony chaise was to meet her at
Hexton, as the express stopped there.
Was it likely the "pilot" she had
heard the passengers speaking about
would soon arrive to take them for
ward ? I signalled to Bob to tell her
the real truth, feeling ashamed to
play false with the innocent,guileless
young creature ; so Bob, withdraw
ing her to a short distance, told her
that no effective aid could come for
many hours, and that there was no
help tor it but to remain all night in
our present comfortless location.
I Shall not soon forget the look of
determination that came over her
face as she said : " Mamma expects
me; mamma will be unhappy; I must
go to her." Bob and I looked at each
other, but neither face indicated a
reasonable method by which the feat
of walking three miles through such
a storm was to be performed by so
young and tender a pedestrian.
" 1 can walk," she said, " the lane
is sheltered ; I know the road well."
" Can you not go with me ?" she said
to Bob, appealiugly. " Mamma will
pay you handsomely for your troub
le." But Bob, true to his post, shook
his head with, " Can't leave train and
passengers, miss ; not for no money
REGARDLESS OF* DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER
TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., MARCH 14,1867.
! nor any other consideration either,
miss," he added, with a not ungrace
i ful salute, as if to imply a gallant de
j sire to serve her irrespective of the
I promised reward. I bad felt some
hesitation in offering myself as her
escort,for I feared to alarm the young
girl by a ready proffer of attention
on the part of so hap-hazard an ac
quaintance. When at last I placed
my humble services at her disposal, I
saw her take a quiet survey of my
i face through her veil, as if to read
i iuy character with her shrewd wo
manly glance. Then turniug to Bob,
; whose official position gave him a
great advantage over me: "You
j said you knew this gentleman,l think,
guard," she said : " may I trust my
self to his care ?" " Lor' bless you,
1 miss," said Bob, us though the ques
j tion was almost an insult, " know
| him? know Master Arthur? Ay, from
: his cradle, miss; and if / may say it,"
he added, " without offence, we've
been friends all our lives, —leastwise,
his life, —for that matter, miss ; and
if you trust Master Arthur, you trust
Bob Martin ; and if you trust Bob
Martin, you trusts Master Arthur's
father, the very best master ever ser
vant had in all Northshire; by whose
favor, in the manner of speaking,said
Bob holds his present responsible sit
uation, miss." This long speech seem
ed to satisfy,as it certainly somewhat
amazed, the young lady ; so, trusting
in the good faith of guard, passenger,
and passenger's father, thus incorpo
rated in my person, she began to
prepare herself for the walk, aud
we started just as the dull light
of a winter's afternoon was being ex
tinguished in darkness. Here and
there I saw the snow had been de
posited in huge drifts, and iu one or
two places it was all but impassible,
so I began to fear as the wind rose
and the snowflakes fell again, that,
whilst our retreat might be cutoff
by one drift, our advance might be
stopped by another, —tlie lane thus
forming a treacherous cul-de-sac into
which we were to be lured to de
struction. I was grieved to alarm
my companion, but was obliged at
last to point out the possible danger j
of the road.
Resting for a moment in a shelter
ed spot, we held a council of war.—
We would make one more attempt
to use the lane, but if that were not
safe, we must scale the bank and
seek the church path that ran across
the fields nearly parallel with it. It
would be fearfully rough travelling
| upon those open fields, but as a sail
| or iwould far rather encounter the
j tempest out at sea than upon a lee
i shore, so it would be wiser for us to
| be buffeted and beaten rather than
| run the risk of being buried alive.—
: Our resolution had soon to be acted
J on. Just as we approached one huge
drift, and were seeking to circumnav
igate it, the snow seemed to come
down faster thau ever, and a blast of
wind catching a heap that had been
hitherto stayed by some shrubs, hurl
ed it into the lane. Seizing my com
panion's arm, I fairly dragged her up
the sloping bank, and pressed on,
knee-deep in snow, in the direction of
the path. We fortunately found it,
and as it ran well above the level of
the field, the snow had left it partial
ly.clear, so that our walking was
less difficult than we had expected.—
But, as if to prevent our gaining any
advantage from this cause, the wind
and snow assailed us with redoubled
fury. More than once did I doubt
the possibility of my frail company
holding out against it. Our whole
strength could hardly prevent us be
ing driven off the narrow causeway,
while now and then a fiercer whirl
would fairly spin us round,aud all but
carry us off our feet. Way of escape
there was none, no shelter nearer
than our destination, no choice but
to battle it out with the blinding
snow and furious wind, or sink down
and perish miserably. But it was a
brave girl who clung to my arm, and
for two mortal hours struggled so
steadfastly ; not a demonstrative,
gushing maiden, made all for flowers
and sunshine ; not one, perhaps, who
would attract notice in the crowded
ball room and be specially noticed
for her beauty or her bearing,but one
that would trudge miles to succor a
sick child, or it might be, one day,
watch with peaceful suffering pa
tience by a husband's couch of ago
ny. I was well pleased, even amidst
the re d dangers of our position, that
Bob's sense of duty had kept him by
the train. "This is the 'lone elm,"'
she said, at last, as we passed a sol
itary tree ; "'Tis not far now, and
then—" but her voice was drowned
by a hurricane that burst upon us,
and for some moments we had to
cling together without advancing a
step. The "lone elm" swayed to and
fro fearfully, now bending almost to
the earth, now rising like a strug
gling giant wrestling with the blast.
Suddenly there came a fearful crash,
and a huge limb, torn from the trunk,
fell not a dozen yards behind us. I
instinctively caught my companion
in my arras, and then, plunging for
ward, almost ran till the wind caught
us again and whirled us about at its
pleasure. Suddenly .however, a light
glimmered from a window at a little
distance. "0, see the light ! 't is
home ! home !" my companion cried.
The sight gave us fresh courage, we
gained the gate, dashed up the drive,
without ceremony or warning open
ed the door, and rushed into the hall.
From a parlor came sounds of
pleasant voices, and odors of viands
hot and cheering to the storm-beaten
travellers. My companion crossed
the hall rapidly, and in a moment, all
snow-clad as she was, was clasped in
her mother's arms. Two boys home
from school apparently, and two girls
younger than their sister, came for
ward to join in greeting " Polly," for
that was the name by which one and
all welcomed her. For a few mo
ments the delight of seeing her safe
amongst them again—and their sur
prise, too, for through some misun
derstanding she was not expected
till the morrow—prevented any ref
erence to the means by which her ar
rival had been accomplished, or the
- nature of her escort. The first greet
ing over, Polly remembered her guide,
and motioning towards the door, dis
covered me to the assembled group
standing awaiting their recognition.
I saw that the lady of the house
was at ouce surprised and not a lit
tle tickled at my appearance. As
she bowed on Polly's introduction, 1
would fain have responded, but as I
lifted my hand to my hat, it clutched
a band of snow, even now thawing
under the influence of a warmer tem
perature, and I dreaded lest I should,
by departing one degree from the
perpendicular, deposit a portion of it
on the handsome carpet. From Pol
ly's appearance,l knew my own must
be remarkable enough, and I saw
that the good manners of the whole
party were sorely tested by the
strange figure I cut and the awk
wardness of my position.
" Pray enter," the lady said, at
the same time herself stepping for
ward to relieve me of my snow
weighted hat, and directing her eld
est son to deposit my cape in the
hall. Meantime Miss Polly was sent
off with her sisters to change her wet
garments, and, as if to put me at
ease, the lady proceeded to examine
me as to our adventure. When, as
briefly as 1 could, 1 told her of what
had befallen her child, I saw how
hardly she restrained her emotion.—
Then Polly carne in to be embraced
once more, and, in common with the
rest of the company, to fall to work
with most unromantic appetite on
the hot cakes and attendant luxuries
needed to restore animal vigor to our
exhausted systems. So long as I bid
fair to i>e but a passing guest, the
good lady troubled little about my
belongings, but when the snow beat
ing against the windows told that it
was likely to render my early depart
ure, however desirable, an impossi
f bility, the careful mother began skil-
I fully to investigate the character of
the stranger thus suddenly thrown
upon her hospitality for an indefinite
period. I' was not long before she
had a fair knowledge of my family
connections, business, and general
mode of life ; and then, apparently
satisfied, she began to talk on indif
ferent subjects until bedtime. With
many sage reflections on the course
of the day's events, some kindly
thoughts of poor Bob passing the
night in charge of his train and its
troublesome company, and some by
no means unkindly ones of the bright
eyed, brave-hearted cause of my de
tention at Borton Green, I fell asleep,
to be awakened at intervals by the
fearful howling of the wind and the
beating of the still falling snow.
All the next day, and the next, and
the next, the roads were impassible,
and Borton Green was no nearer to
Uextou, for any useful purpose, than
it would have been at the antipodes.
Meantime 1 did my best to be agree
able. The boys,confined to the house,
were delighted to have an older boy
than themselves to share in such
amusements as could be enjoyed in
doors, whilst Polly, with frank sim
plicity, admitted the pleasure she felt
at returning the obligation my servi
ces had, as she said, imposed upon
her. At length, however, the farm
ers of the neighborhood, being seri
ously inconvenienced for want of
communication with their market
town, set their laborers to work to
clear the Hextou road,by which means
my captivity was terminated, and I
was able to depart. As I looked back
on the events of the past few days,
and reflected on the strange chance
that had thus introduced me so unex
pectedly to new and pleasant associ
ations, I could not help wondering
whether it was all to end here. Was
Ito go away and be forgotten by
Polly, and her mother, and the boys,
and the cheerful group with whose
pursuits and home-life I had been so
closely, though bi iefly identified ? Of
this, at least, I was sure, that my
discreet hostess would cry quits
when I was once fairly uuder weigh
again, and that I need look for no
renewal of our friendship on her in
vitation. But it seemed that to her
good nature the debt for services
rendered was not yet fully paid. My
sister must accept vicariously the
payment of the obligation to me,—
she must visit Borton Green in the
spring, and allow them to show their
gratitude for my kindness to Pollv.
Need I say that, as soon as I reached
London, I wrote to my sister a full,
true, and particular account of the
whole affair, or that Jenny enter
ed with a girl's love jot romance
into the spirit of the adventure, —>
that she accepted the invitation, was
charmed with Polly, with Polly's
mamma, and everybody at Borton
Green ; and, shall 1 say it, most art
fully contrived to be invited again at
Christmas, when, of course, after Pol
ly's experience, an escort was neces
sary, and what escort so suitable as
her brother ? So the ice once broken,
the two families were placed on terms
of friendship, and I paid many a visit
to Borton Green, till its kind and hos- j
pitable mistress left that part of the ;
country ; and then—"
" But who was the young lady, pa
pa? what was her name? what be
came of her ?" asks my eldest girl,
to whom I have been telling the sto
ry ; " where is she now, papa ?"
" Ask mamma, Polly."
f&~ A New Britain (C't.) woman
got tenibly mad with her husband
the other day, and to spite him, rush,
ed out of doors and sat in a snowbank
till she was nearly frozen. Her hus
band urged her in vain to return to
the house,until the drowsiness began
to come over her from the effects of
the cold, when he succeeded in remov
ing her and thawing her out.
From the Toledo Blade.
NASBY.
Mr. Nasby is Dispatched by the Presi
dent and Secretary Seward upon an
Important Mission, Similar in its
Nature to that of Mr. McCraclcen.
His
POST OFFIS CONFEDBIT X ROADS, I
(wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky,) J-
January '2Bth, 1867. )
It wuz a crooel necessity, after all,
wich druv me into servis uv His
Eggsleucy A. Johnson. Crooel, I
say, for whenever he hez a pertikel
ery mean piece uv work to perform,
suthin so inexpressibly sneakin that
Seward nor Randall won't undertake
it, they alluz send for me. Welles is
alluz willin, but while he hez the dis
position to do anythin in that line, he
lacks the ability. The others, how
ever, hev the ability to do anythin
and the disposition to do most things,
and therefore I hev bin employed in
only extreme cases.
The success wich attended Mc-
G'racken's mission, endin ez it did in
the resinin uv Motley, stimulated
Seward to prosecute similar research
es into the actooal opinions uv the
home crop uv offisers regardin him
and his, and my sooprerior, A. John
son. Randall wuz applied too to
take a tour among Post Masters and
sich. Declined the mission indignant
ly, with the remark, " Is thy servant
a dog or a son uv a dog, that he
shood do this thing?" And ez Well
es isn't trusted out of Washinton any
more, I wuz sent for.
The biznis required uv me wuz
statid by Seward in his yoosual {u
cid stile. It wuz merely to cirklate
incognito (wich is Latin for sneakiu)
among the recently appinted offis
holders and assertaiu ther views up
on general politikle topics, but more
especially ther feelins toward the
President and Sekretary uv State.
Jest ez I wuz startin, not at all
pleased with the mission, Welles put
in his oar. He wuz agoiu to give
me instrucshuns ez to wat 1 wuz to
do. Welles is a lunatik I never cood
abide, and I felt it my dooty to with
er him. Transiixin the venerable
Sekretary with one uv my most pier
cenist gazes, I remarked : " Sir ! in
imitashen uv the man who inflicted
yoo upon this country, wich wuz not
the last uv his acts for wich the
country cusses him, 1 propose relatin
a little anecdote. Ther wuz wunst a
man who wuz inebriatid, aud that he
might present hisself in a state ap
proximating sobriety to the pardner
uv his buzzum, he wuz essayiu to
vomit, tryiu thus to relieve his stum
ick uv the cause uv the oupleasant
nis therein, but he coodent do it.
He heaved and heaved but ther wuz
no result. At this critikle period
another man approached, who re
marked kindly that, ef he desired to
vomit, his best holt would be to run
his finger down his throat. The
drunk individooal looked up indig
nant at this unwarranted interfer
ence with his constooshnel rites.—
" Blast yoor eyes, sir," sed he "are
yoo or me bossin this yer puke."
"This, Sekretary Welles, is the
anecdote ; I respek the posishun yoo
hold, and dislike sayin anythin disa
greeable, but, sir, this is a puke, and
1 propose to boss it myself."
1 startid to wunst,and found things
in a highly mixed condition. The
folio win is compiled from my reports:
In Noo York the Postmasters gener
ally are sound. The crops were
poor last year, and all kinds uv biz
nis bein dull, the Postmasters are
generally anxious to hold on. They
are, therefore, outspoken in their sup
port uv the coz. Them ez wuz men
uv good standin and religiously en
cliued, before the rupcher between
the President and the party wich re
doost him, say but very little in pub
lic, aud that little they don't say
very long. They generally can't
see that ther is any partickeler diff
erence between the President's plan
and the plan uv Congres, aud ther
bein so little Congress ought to yield
for the sake uv peace. The Dimo
crats huldin sich places are loud
enough in support uv the Adminis
trashen, but good Heaven ! the en
dorsement uv sich men is to heavy a
load for any party to bear. Now,
that I think uv it, I hev at last solv
ed the mystery uv our wide-spread
defeat last fall. In some Deestricts
the Dirnocracy found Johnson too
heavy a load to carry, and in the bal
ance the Johnson men found the Dirn
ocracy too heavy a load to carry.
In Ohio, the first place I stopped
at wuz Oberlin, the place where the
nigger college is located at.
I regret to say that the Postmas
ter at that pint is a rantin Ablishuist,
and in the two hours I wuz there, I
coodent find a Conservative Republi
can who wood take it. I got one
nearly persuaded, but jist as he wuz
about to consent, his wife fell a weep
in upon his buzzum, and with tetch- <
in pathos wanted to know ef he wuz
willin, for sich small pay, to leave
sich a taruisht name to the four chil
dren now born to em and the wun
wich wuz expectid ? He repentid
and refused. I didn't investigate ez
fully ez I might, for ther aint a drop
uv likker sold there, and ez my flask
give out,l felt that doo considerashen
for my health woodent permit my
stayiu anothei hour. I recommend
the abolitiou uv the offis, or the es
tablishment uv a grosery, with a bar
in the back room, ez a nucleus
around wich the Diraocrisy kin
rally.
The next place I come to I found !
the Postmaster a suspishus caracter j
—very suspishus. Whenever he is i
drunk he speaks very highly uv the '
Sekretary uv State, but when sober
he avoids politikle matters. I sejest |
a raise in the salary uv the offis,that;
he kin afford to keep drunk all the l
time.
At the next pint I interdoost my
self ez a English nobleman in disgise,
studyin American manners and cus-
#3 per Annum, in Advance.
turns, and meushuud carebssly that
I hed bin to Wasiiinton, and bed bin
preseutid to the President and Sekre
tary uv State. The Postmaster wuz
visably affectid. Glauciu furtively
around to see that no one wuz look
in, he remarked in a low tone : "My
deer sir, don't I beg uv yoo, form
yoor idea uv the public men uv Amer
iky from them specimens. Don't I
beg. The first, sir, is an accident—
sich a man cood never hev bin made
on purpose. The Second wuz suthin,
in his earlier years, but now, sir,
now—he's a degraded old man," and
he bustid into tears. "Bein deter
mined to hold onto his place, he tried
at fust to bring the President, by ac
cident, up to his level; but that be
in impossible, he deliberately let his
eelf down to the level uv the Presi
dent, and the distance, sir, wuz so
great, the Sekretary bein suthin, that
the shock, sir, undoubtedly klmct his
intelleck out uv him, for he aiut dis
played any since. He literally fell
among thieves. May the Lord for
give Willyum H. Seward for the
wreck he made uv his reputashen,
for "
At this pint the poor man stopt.
I happened to pul! out my Lanker
cher, and in doiu so dropt upon the
floor a piece uv paper wich he seed.
It read:
"Petroleum V. Nasby, Dr.
To G. BaBComb.
To drinks dooriu the month uv
January at 10 cents per drink $30,00
He looked at my face, and seein
that the bill reely belonged to me,
fell faiutiu onto the floor, shreekin
" I'm McCrackened."
I leave the case iu the hands uv
the Cabinet. Its aggravatin.
Another man openly defied me. He
wanted me to take the offis off uv his
hands. His children,he sed, wuz made
mouths at and skoffed at, at skool,
becoz their father wich bed bin a Re
publikin, held a Federal ofiis, and his
wife wuz defeeted for Presidedt uv
the Sewin Society,a posisheu she hed
alluz held, on the same akkount. He
hed stood it long enuff. Ef he eood
ent git it off his hands he'd commit
sooicide, and by thus puttin hisself
out uv the way make his abuzed fam
ily the only reparashen in his power.
I sejest he be removed. Sich talk
may be safely set down ez incendi
iary.
Another hed the highest possible
I opinion uv the President, and wor
shiped the Sekretary. He consider
ed his plan uv reconstruction the best
wich cood hev bin devised by mortal
wisdom. He hed vainly striven to
git a nominasheu for an offis from the
Republikin party for years, but failed
owm to a lack uv confidence. He
hev jined the Democracy, but ez they
wuz hopelessly in the minority, it
woodent hev helped him. He consid
ered Johnson's noshuu of fillin the of
fisis with Republikius bully, ther be
in so few uv that persuasion who'd
take em, and he didn't want any ac
cessions to the party. Ther wuz now
jist enuff to hold the offisis iu the con
trol uv the President, and them wuz
all the offisis they cood git anyhow.
He isn't discreet, but we can't expect
all the virchoos at so small a price.
None uv us is perfeck— I spose I hev
my failins.
I shell continyoo my investigashens
tho it is dreadful tryin labor. Goin
ez I do, thro Abolishen sections, I
hev to carry my own whisky, and ez
sad experience hez demonstrated,
quart flasks won't do. Sometimes 1
hev to lay iu one uv them towns for
three hours. I respeckfully submit,
that arrangements be made for the
transportashen uv a keg uv suste
nance to accompany me, otherwise, I
shel peremptorily resine. At my time
uv life regeler supplies are necessary.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY, P. M.
(Wich is Postmaster), and likewise Profes
sor uv Biblikle Politicks in the Southern
Classikle & Military Institoot.
DANGER OF RAISING A FAST HORSE.—
The Rural Nero Yorker states the fol
lowing case,to enforce some sensible
advice to farmers, suggested, we pre
sume, by the "display of horses,"
which is fast becoming the most at
tractive feature of our agricultural
shows :
A well-to-do farmer of our acquain
tance had the misfortune to rear a
really fine horse. The action of the
animal gave him great delight, and
nothing would do but an exhibition of
him among the professionals. He put
up his money and won. This gave a
higher flight to his ambition, and in
duced a bolder operation. Success
rewarded his ventures. He neglect
ted his farm, imperceptibly acquired
habits to which he had before been a
strauger.and spurred on by past suc
cess aud the machinations of the craf
ty,^whose aim it is to fleece the green
and unwary, placed his farm in jeop
ardy for the purpose of raising money
to stake on the result of a race in
which his pet horse was to contend
for the prize ai.d mastery. The pro
fessionals had now got the over-con
fident farmer in the precise position
desired, and the result was,what they
intended it should be, the defeat of
the farmer's horse aud the ruin of his
owner, The animal changed hands
and so did the farm. It was all down
hill with the farmer after this. His
family was broken up and dispersed,
while he, reckless and maddened by
disappointment and remorse, found
premature grave.
THE President of a Western railway
advertises for a "conductor who does not
know how to steal." No applications.
IT is very true that one swallow
does not make a summer, hut several of
them have been known to produce a fall.
WHY do young ladies confess that
ritualistic curates are a desirable specula
tioh ? Because they are pretty in-vestments.
A codfish breakfast aud an india
rubber coat will keep a man dry all day.
THE world stands by every old lil
till it is found untenable, and opposes every
new truth till it proves irresistible.
COMMON SENSE AND PRESENCE OF
MIND.
If a man faint away, instead of
yelling like a savage or running to
him to lift him up, lay him at full
length on his back on the floor,loosen
the clothing, push the crowd away
so as to allow the air to reach him,
and let him alone. Dashing water
over a person in a simple fainting fit
is barbarity. The philosophy of a
fainting fit is, that the heart fails to
send the proper supply of blood to
the brain ; if the person is erect,
that blood lias to be throwb up bill,
bat if ljing down it has to be pro
jected horizontally, which requires
less power, as is apparent.
If a person swallow poison deliber
ately, or by chance, instead of break
ing out into multitudinous and inco
herent exclamations, despatch some
one for the doctor. Meanwhile run
to the kitchen, get half a glass of
water in anything that is handy, put
into it a teaspoonful of salt and as
much mustard, stir it in an instant,
catch a firm hold of the person's nose,
the mouth will soon fly open, then
down with the mixture, and in a sec
ond or two up will come the poison.
This will answer better in a large
number of cases than any other. If
by this time the physician has not
arrived, make the patient swallow
the white of an egg, followed by a
cap of strong coffee (because these
nullify a large number of poisons
than any other accessible articles)as
antidotes for any poison that re
mains in the stomach.
If a limb or other part of the
body is severely cut, and the blood
comes out by spirts or jerks, be iu a
hurry or the man will be dead in five
minutes ; there is no time to talk or
send for a physician ; say nothing,
out with your handkerchief, throw
it around the limb, tie the two ends
together, put a stick through them,
twist it around, tighter and tighter,
until the blood ceases to flow. But
stop, it does no good. Why ? Be
cause only a severed artery throws
out blood in jets, and the arteries
get their blood from the heart; hence,
to stop the flow, the remedy must be
applied between the heart and the
wounded spot—in other words,above
the wound. If a vein had been sev
ered, the blood would have flowed in
a regular stream, and on the other
hand, the tie should be applied be
low the wound, or on the other side
of the wound from the heart: be
cause the bloocUn the veins flows
towards the heart, and there is no
need of so great a hurry.
JUST I.IE THERE AND COOL.—I went
to the Legislature last year, said a
Georgian. Well, I went to Augusta
and took dinner at a tavern. Right
beside me at the table sat a member
from one of the back towns that had
never taken dinner before at a tavern
in his life. Before his plate was a
dish of peppers, and he kept looking
at them. Finally, as the waiters
were very slow bringing on things,
he up with his fork, and in less than
no time soused one into his mouth.-
As he brought his grinders down on
it, the tears came into his eyes At
i last,spitting the pepper into his hand
| he laid it down by the side of his
| plate, and with a voice that set the
I whole table in a roar, exclaimed,
"Just lie there and cool."
WHO'S THE FOOL ?—Some merchants
went to an Eastern sovereign and ex
hibited for sale several very fine hor
: sea. The king admired them and
I bought them ; he moreover gave the
' merchants a lac of rupees to purchase
more horses for him. The king one
day in a sportive humor ordered the
vizier to make out a list of all the
fools in his dominions. lie did so,
and put his Majesty's name at the
head of them. The king asked why.
He replied, "Because you entrusted a
lac of rupees to men you don't know,
and who will never come back." "Ay
but suppose they should come back ?"
"Then 1 shall erase your name and in
sert theirs."
I FUN, FACTS, AND FACETIAE.
A "seedy" institution—the Agri
cultural Bureau.
THE last place to look for the milk
of human kindness is in the pale of civiliza
tion.
A little five-year old heai ing tin
text given out at church, "And the child
waxed strong" asked, "Father how did they
wax him ?"
"PRAY, excuse a bit of sarcasm,"
said Smith to Jones, "but you are an infa
mous liar and scoundrel."
"Pray, pardon a touch of irony," replied
Jones, as h > knocked him down with tin
poker.
A compromise with sin is a sun. n
der to the devil.
lIE who pretends to reason with
the dead is deaf to reason.
AN impenitent sinner has no lUO,V
right to sin than a saint.
"PADDY, why don't you get youi
ears cropped V They are entirely too" long
for a man."
"And yours," replied Pat. "ought to he
lengthened ; they are too short for a mule.'
LOOKING glasses won't lie, but they
tell some awful plain truths now and then.
"Will you let me drill you ?" said
the crowbar to the rock. "I'll he blasted if
I do," was the hardy reply.
"SAMMY, my son, how many weeks
belong to this year V"
"Forty-six, sir."
"Why, Sammy, how do you make that
out?"
"Ihe other six are Lent.''
NEITHER purity, virtue nor liberty
can long flourish where education is neg
lected.
THE tongue is an instrument on
which human thoughts are played.
HE who has to deal with a block
head hath need of much brains.
HE who hath good health is young,
and he is rich who owes nothing.
WHY is a letter like a flock of
sheep ? Because it is penned and folded.
To Adam and Eve, Paradise was
home; to the good among their descend
ants, home is Paradise.
DEBOW, the statiatican, has been
pardoned, so we may not expect to apply to
him the words of the old negro melody,
"Hang up de fiddle and Deßow."
WHAT song does a hasty eater re
mind you of?
"When the swallows homeward fly.'
WHY is a bald head like Heaven ?
Because there is no more dying or parting
there.
"You are quite welcome" as the
empty purse said to the shilling.
IF you would look "spruce" in your
old age, don't "pine'' in your youth.
NUMBER 41.