THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH. . THIRD PART. PAGES 17 TO 24. THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH. SUNDAY. OCTOBER 2. , 1892L CRANKS SAFE THERE, Tbey Seem to Hare the Enn of tlio Headquarters of Both, the Parties. PATIENT MEN ABE HffiED To Listen to Their Tales of Woe and Schemes of Conquest SOME AEE FOOLED BY FLATTER!, While Others Sean. Fatisfied With Earing the Kight to Pose. STEOXG-MINDED FEMALES ABUNDANT tCORREKrOXBISCI OF TOT OISPATCII.t Kew Yobk, Oct. 1. The poor erank is wanted nowhere. Yet there are two places, now keeping open house in this city, where he rei$ns supreme. For, eren tboueh he is stamped with that uncongenial mark of nature, his vote is Tallied on a par with a Major's, and both the Republican and Demo cratic headquarters are at bis service If you chance to encounter one, and he bunkos you into conversation, he will tell you how he is running the campaign and of the valuable schemes he daily proposes at headquarters. He is retpected in either of those houses and allowed to run in and out as il the most important attache. If you ask any oue of the committee men if these sort of individuals do not bore them, they will tell you that that is a thing no one can do. The cranks talk by the hours, and to supply the want the parties in MU Tat Carria the Tote of J7i District rocket charter a number ol politicians, whom they have on hand in the reception rooms, to do nothing ele but receive these would-be im portant political guns- Tbe Duty of listening to Crank. Many of the members of these "ideal re ception committees" are in a constant state of semi-paresis and are given to a loathe some desire, upon mint; in the morning, to visit a mirror and "see themselves as others see them." Their wives tell them they are getting gray, and that it is dissipation that is doing it; in the end they leave their homes in a worse condition mentally than when they arrived there the night before. And when they get downtown to headquar ters they have to look pleasant and chaff with the man who makes their lives miser able irom early morn till late at night It is comical to note the names these poor cranks receive. There is "the man who carries all the ward rotes in his vest pock et" "the relic of ye olden time" "the great little man" "the gentleman with a great scheme," and last but not least, "the strong-minded female." "When I was talking with Colonel Tom CanaTangh at the Republican headqnarters, the other day, a tall, slim, gray-haired and white-mustached gentleman rushed in as if the entire success of the campaign depended upon him, and seoretly called Colonel Tom aside. I beard a great mumbling of words and then the visitor seemed to get excited and dropping his carpet bag on one side and an umbrella on the other, I could hear him argue In a low but dramatic voice: Mast See Chairman Carter. " but you see it is it must where is he oh lit me see him before it n too late." "I know 1 I know 1 !" answered the Colonel, at the same time taking a long Colonel, and like the "great Herrmann" the "great .Canavaugh" was transformed Into "Canavaugih the Great." But one of the documents was now thrust into his face with the long slender finger of its holder pointing out a certain paragraph. "Seel Readl Observe! how Harrison was elected last Presidental campaign!" QetUne; Rid of a Crank. "Oh this is great," remarked Tom with a wink at me, "Yon are indeed a great man, a real genius, and I am so pleased that yon are a Republican and are willing to lend us yonr aid. You must see Colonel Carter, and see him at once. I know he will be delight ed to see yon. Now just sit right down here while I tell him you are here." "I'll go right up with you." "No, you had better not, as he will want to talk on such an important matter with you alone, and I will see that no one is there." This jnst salted the old gentleman, and with a beautiiul smile lighting np his features, he seated himself in a velvet backed armchair in a very pompons manner. Colonel Canavaugh walked into the back room, lit a cigar in a manner suggeiting great relief, then shrugging his shoulders as much as to say "well, I've got to go back to it," walked out Into the reception room where the stranger waswaiting bis return. "I am so sorry; Colonel Carter went out just before you came in, and no one else can do anything about a matter of 10 much im portance." "Well now darn it that's smart. He ought to be here tending to business. Some thing must be done to save us." "Well, you will do all you can for ns," said the Colonel, striving as best h could to get rid of him. "Oh, yes. I'll call again." And the old stranger bustled out the place, leaving Colonel Tom relieved. The man turns up every four years with the same old scheme. Now ior the curios of the Democratic house. There are many if anything, more than there are in its rival's quarters. One especially, that I encountered there, was the "man who carries all the ward's votes in his Test pocket" and is always running in to assure Chairman Sheehan that he "needn't fear about hii ward, as it is going solid fot Grover Cleveland!" And giving his reasons for believing that he "carries the ward in his vest pocket" "I treat all the boys fine in my district," said he, "and they'll vote as I say." "What you call treating the boys right?" some one asked in a hukr voice. "Well, yer see whatever the boys want they know I'll help them out on, and all they have ter do is ter cum ter me. I give them what they want eTery time. Last Wednesday Moikie Casey came to me and asked for foive dollars to burry his young baby with and "And you let him have it, did ?" "I told him where ter have it burried for northing, I did, I did." "That's a joke, that's a good Joke! and what did yer do with their foiver. "Why, I kept it, sure I did." Then'as is always the case the ward boss took a notion in his head that he must see the Chairman. "Who shall I tell him wants ter see him, and what is it about?" asked the hall boy. A Crank Without a Name. ,rWhy,tell him it's me. Tell him me. I am sure it's no one else, and it's political busi ness I want ter talk about; what else could it be?" "Yes, that's all right What's yer name. The Chairman wouldn't know who 'me' is." "No. that's right Well, then, tell him it's me, and that me wants ter talk about the ward." Whoever "me" was I do not know, bnt I soon discovered that he couldn't carry ten votes much less a ward, and was of little w 1 S I w A Relic of Old Timet. The Mem With a Scheme. breath and bracing himself np in front of the stranger. By means of placing his hands on the gentleman's shoulders, in a derrick-like fashion, he succeeded in check ing his wild career. "Don't detain me, sir, I must see Colonel Carter. I have a scheme that clone can carry New York for the Republican party, which needs his immediate attention. Oh, it is my greatest desire to see the grand old party wipe the hul darn country clean. And I tell you, sir, I hold the papers here, which, it followed out, can do it and yon shall see them." The old carpet bag was thrown open, and poor Canavaugh gave a long sigh as he saw its contents. No wonder. "My heavens!" said he under his breath as he gave a melancholy look my way. It was simply loade I to the muzzle with documents. The stranger was turning them over like butter cakes, while at the same time muttering half to himself in a low, feverish voice: "You shall see theml You shall see tbem!" This proved to be too much fcr the consequence. In faot, a sort'er would-ba boss n ho had actually got to thinking he was one. I walked in Sheehan's office, at his invitation, my card having preceded me, and while I was there, heard the Chair man pay to the boy: "Who is this man lie," who wants to see me? send him in." Then turning to me be said: "If this is the man I think it is, he is worth writing up. He's a character." The "Me" that I had seen before I en tered Sheehan's office, now rushed in. "How are ver. Mr. Chairman? How are yer? Introduce me to yer friend." But Shephan paid no' attention. "What is it, Me?" he said. "What can I do for you. I'm very busy. Must go to Buffalo to-morrow." "Mr. Chairman, the ward Is solid for Cleveland. Nothing ever looked so much like it, and I don't believe there's a Harri son man in it" "Is that all. Me? that all yon came to see me about?" A Mishap With a Whisky Bottle. ' Just then something dropped and, look ing down suddenly by Me's chair, I saw a red whisky bottle. Me had dropped it, and to conceal the fact that he bad, he dropped bis cane, and made out that it was that which had made the noise. In pick ing up the cane he picked up the bottle also, and thought he did it unseen. Sheeban then put on his hat and was ready to go out "Introduce me to yer friend, Mister Shee han. will yer?" ' "Whv, you don't want to know him. He's a Republican, Me." "Go on, go on with yer. And what would. ne oe aoing id nere; Sheehan made no reply, but rnthedout in haste, leaving me with the would-be ward boss, who followed me out and tried to talk me out of my supposed stand in politics. The argument that followed was trully won derful ihat is the way it was expressed. His talk on McKinley would have been great in a phonograplu A Great Man of Jeflersonlan Times. Another peculiar old character who comes and goes about Democratic headquarters, and excited my greatest attention for a while, was, description, a man of about 70 years, wearing a long grav beard, and moderately long hair, or medium height, and rather thick set All I could hear him say was "how things were done in cam puiens, 30 years ago.'" So I namrd him ''the relic of ye olden time." But, though 70 years old, he was "mishty actire," as the boys sav, and continually rushed in and out and seemed to think he was und r great re sponsibility. Every time he went out he j made sure, to call a bpv and. .tell him he would "be back In half an hour,-" er "fust t as soon as he possibly could," and if anyone called, to keep them till he returned. I asked the boy il anyone ever called to see him, and was informed that to his know ledge no one had, but that many who came there knew him. He had heard Chairman Sheeban say that he was an "old war horse," of the Jeffersonlan days, s& 9L M mnmm enough to inform me who yon are and what I can't The Great Little Van. I was told by a friend and prominent pol itician, that he had seen this man at this same place four years ago, and also at Wash ington and Chicago. To me this looked suspicious. Was he a special detective, employed for some campaign purposes? No One Seemed to Know Him. "Who is he?" I asked of one of the com mittee. "No one knows better than yourself," he answered, shrugging his shoulders. "What does he do here?" "No one knows." "But he is in and ont a dozen or more times a day, and is always busy at some thing." "Well, no one knows anvthlngabonthim, so it's useless to ask questions." I observed that, although no on would give me the least information of him ha had full swing at the headquarters; no one at tempted to oppose him and he never seemed to mingle with them. Suddenlv I was struck with the idea that he might be a secret messenger. One time observing him preparing to rush out I de termined lo go alter and see if I could see where he went to. He turned on me and said: "Do you want to see me?" "Yes." I replied, and he looked pleased that I did. "To decide a bet between myself and an other inside I wish yon would be kind enouzn to iniorm i von do in politics? "It's none of your business, it it? oe bothered, uooa aay. I made an inquiry of another committee man inside the headquarters. "What, that old fool?" said he "But don't tell him I said so. Well, he's merely a crank and a crank Of the first water He thinks he runs the campaign. But, by the way, I oughtn't to speak disrespectfully of him, as he has been a great man in the party.- Now one ef the has been. Yet, who knows, I may follow his footsteps." A Man Who Wants to See Harrison. Then here is the "great little man, who is most frequently seen about the Republican camp, and who, in other words, knows it all and is satisfied with nothing. He most generally seats himself down in a prominent part of the reception room and complains of everything the committee does. "Why don't the President come ter New York and 'tend ter his business himself? I tell yer we're loosing ground all the time. I know bow it is myself. When I kept a candy store and was 'always going out, my wife told me it was no war to 'tend ter business, and that I'd lose it. Wall, snre enough I did. So will Harrison, but none of these fellows will pay attention ter what Isay." 'Why don't you lee the chairman and tell him what you think," I suggested. "Well, ter tell the truth, I did." "And didn't he give you any satisfac tion?" "Oh, yes, Carter' all right, be always thinks the same as I do and he tried his best ter get the President on here. I saw him yesterday and we talked matters over a little. He told me that Mr. Harrison would be here next week, sure. I have a great desire to see the President There re many pointers I can give him." "What do you think about McKinley? Will he help to elect the Republican Presi dent? "Well, now I don't feel sure of that These fellows here in this committee think so, but they haven't had experience enough yet ter know. I'd 'like ter see Boss Harri son walk in now. I'd have some changes made here it he did." And then my friend was politely requested not to talk so loud. He arose, pulled his coat around his shoul ders, and said he would "never enter the headquarters again until Harrison arrived." The Woman Who Wants to Help HU1. Perhaps the most remarkable political relio of all is "the strong-minded lemale." To say that she is a frequenter of these political houses would be a falsehood, but still she is seen at both, and I was just lucky enough to be on hand when one of them ran in. She was met by one of the reoeption committee and very politely ushered into the parlor. "Madame, what can we do for you?" she was asked. "No; I am going to do something for my party. Like Dave Hill, 'I am a Democrat,' and just as determined to see my party win as Dave is." "But, madame, what can you do? I as sure" "That'll do; I assure you that 'I am a Democrat,' and am determined to see my party win." "That's yery kind of you, I'm sure any refreshments be aeoeptable to your lady ship? Here James" "You miserable man; is this the way you receive ladies here?" The poor committeeman was almost be side himself. The female was puzzle, and that was all he knew. To everything he said or did she found fault ' "I want to see Dave, "she said. '.1 would be willing to. make speeches like be does, with him, and we could boom up the cam paign, so that there would be no fear. You MJr VLLwSslsaflHiissK I'M SSfaA Wud fKf The Strong-Minded Female. may think because I am a woman In appear ance and costume, that I am chuck full of woman nonsense; but I am as strong-minded as any of you. Muoh more so than you, young man. Take that flower out of your buttonhole and put in a badge. Be true to your party." Why he did it I don't know, but I no ticed that the fellow removed the flower, and possibly if I were to go up there now I would find the badge in its place. Lo, the poor crank for he is wanted nowhere. Yet either of these headquarters proves to be a real heaven for him. James 3. Hammond. F77l-L' "-&'.' BY WBITTEW FOB TKB DICTATOH W. CLARK RUSSELL. tCopTrighr, 1S9!, By tne Aattor.J On November 4, 1830, a number of con- establishments was terrible; the labor that victs were indicted at the Admiralty Ses sions of the Old Bailey for having on the 6th ot September in the previous year piratically seized a brig called the Cyprus. A South seaman was innocently and most involuntarily, as shall be discovered pres ently, Involved in this tragio business, to which he is able to add a narrative that is certainly not known to any of the chroni clers of crime. But first as to the piratical seizure. The Cyprus, a colonial brig, had been chartered to convey a number of convicts from Hobart Town ta Mtcquarie Harbor, on the northern coast of Tasmania and Nor folk Island, distant about a week's sail from Sidney, in those days a penal settle ment There were 32 felons In all. These men had been gnilty of certain grave of fenses at Hobart Town; they had rendered themselves in consequence liable to new pnuisbment; they were tried before the Supreme Court of Judicature there, and sentenced to be transported to the place above mentioned. Only the very worst sort of prisoners were sent to Norfolk Island and Macquarie Harbor. The discipline at those penal was exacted heart-breaking. The character of the punishment was well known, and every felon resentenced to transportation from the colonial convict settlements very well understood the fate that wu before him. The Cyprus sailed from Hobart Ton in Angust 1829. In addition to the 32 con victs, she carried a crew of 8 men and a guard of 12 soldiers, under the command of Lieutenant Carew, who was accompanied by his wife and children. The prisoners, as was always customary In convict ships, were under the care of a medical man named Williams. Nothing of moment happened until the brig either brought up or was hove to in Research Bay, where Dr. Williams, Lieu tenant Carew, the mate of the vessel, a soldier, and a convict named Popjoy went ashore on a fishing excursion. They had not been gone from the ship above half an hour when thev heard a noise of firearms. Instantly guessing that the convicts had risen they made a rush for the boat and pulled for the brig. It was as they had feared, the felons had mastered the guard and seized the brig. They suffered no man to come on board save Popjoy, the convict, who, however, later on sprang overboard and swam to the beach. They then sent the crew, soldiers and passengers ashore, but without provisions or the mi portiog life. Then, among the mi prisoners lifted the anchor and . sail, and the little brig slipped away Research Bay. The chroniclers state that the vessel .. never afterward heard of, though some ot the(convicts were apprehended separately in various parts of Sussex and Essex. Tha posthumous yarn ol the mate of an English whaler disproves this. He related hie ex traordinary experience thus: "We had been fishing north of the Eqna tor, and had filled up with a little 'grease, as the Yankees tefm it. round about tha Galapagos Islands, but business grew too slack tor even a whaleman's patience. Els vea months out from Whitby, and, if my mimr ory fails me noty less than a score of full barrels in our hold! So the captain madn up his mind to try south, and working our way across the Equator we struck in amonft the Polynesian groups, raising the southern cross nightly higher and higher, till wo were somewhere about latitude 30 and longitude 75 east "I came on deck to the relief at 4 o'clock one morning, the weather was quiet, a pleasant breeze was blowing to the star board beam; onr ship was bark-rigged, with short tontrallant masts. Cane Bora fashion, she was thrusting through it lets urelv under topgallant sail, and the wida Pacific heave so cradled her as she went that she seemed to sleep as she sailed, "Day broke soon af ter 5, and as the light brightened out I caught sight of a gleam on the edge of the sea. It was as white with the risen sun upon it as an iceberg. I leveled the glass and made out the topmast canvas of a small vessel. There was noth ing to excite one in the spectacle of a dis tant sail. The bark's work went on; thti decks were washed down, the lookout aloft hailed and nothing reported; and at seven bells the crew went to breakfast, at which hour we had risen the distant sail with it rapidity that somewhat pnzzled tha captain and me. For, first of all, she was not so far off now but that we could distinguish thn lay of her head she looked to be going our way; but clearly she was stationary, for thi Swan, which was the name of our bark, though as seaworthy on old tub as ever went to leeward on a bowline, was abso lutely without legs; nothing more sluggish was ever afloat; for her then to have over hauled anything that was actually under war would have been marvelous, " 'Something wrong out there Grainger,' said the Captain. '"Looks to me to be all in the win I with her,' I answered. "'Make out any color?" said the Captain. " 'Nothing as yet,' said L " 'Shift ybur helm by a spoke or two,' said he. 'Meanwhile I'll go to breakfast' "He was not long below. By the timo he returned we had risen the distant vessel to the line of her rail. I got some breakfast in the cabin; on passing again through tho hatch I found the Captain looking at tho sail through the telescope. " 'She is a small brig,' said be, 'and she THE PRICE TELLS. E3L1 jJrm jfi ssiB ra pony 'tw THE PRICE WINS. GOOD JUDGES OF STYLES AND QUALITY Say that our Fall stock of CUB PETS Is the largest finest; best selected and low est priced in the city. As a matter of fact we show three times the number of styles that can be seen at any other house, and present prices on them can not be-equaled anywhere. And the styles are all new; no back num- I bers. JUST A MENTION Of the fact that carpets are going up. The longer you wait the more you will have to pay. Manufacturers have already begun to advance prices; retailers will have to follow soon. BUY NOW. 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