THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH.
.
THIRD PART.
PAGES 17 TO 24.
THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH. SUNDAY. OCTOBER 2. , 1892L
CRANKS SAFE THERE,
Tbey Seem to Hare the Enn
of tlio Headquarters of
Both, the Parties.
PATIENT MEN ABE HffiED
To Listen to Their Tales of Woe and
Schemes of Conquest
SOME AEE FOOLED BY FLATTER!,
While Others Sean. Fatisfied With Earing
the Kight to Pose.
STEOXG-MINDED FEMALES ABUNDANT
tCORREKrOXBISCI OF TOT OISPATCII.t
Kew Yobk, Oct. 1. The poor erank is
wanted nowhere. Yet there are two places,
now keeping open house in this city, where
he rei$ns supreme. For, eren tboueh he
is stamped with that uncongenial mark of
nature, his vote is Tallied on a par with a
Major's, and both the Republican and Demo
cratic headquarters are at bis service
If you chance to encounter one, and he
bunkos you into conversation, he will tell
you how he is running the campaign and of
the valuable schemes he daily proposes at
headquarters. He is retpected in either of
those houses and allowed to run in and out
as il the most important attache.
If you ask any oue of the committee men
if these sort of individuals do not bore
them, they will tell you that that is a thing
no one can do. The cranks talk by the
hours, and to supply the want the parties
in MU Tat
Carria the Tote of J7i District
rocket
charter a number ol politicians, whom they
have on hand in the reception rooms, to do
nothing ele but receive these would-be im
portant political guns-
Tbe Duty of listening to Crank.
Many of the members of these "ideal re
ception committees" are in a constant state
of semi-paresis and are given to a loathe
some desire, upon mint; in the morning, to
visit a mirror and "see themselves as others
see them." Their wives tell them they are
getting gray, and that it is dissipation that
is doing it; in the end they leave their
homes in a worse condition mentally than
when they arrived there the night before.
And when they get downtown to headquar
ters they have to look pleasant and chaff
with the man who makes their lives miser
able irom early morn till late at night
It is comical to note the names these poor
cranks receive. There is "the man who
carries all the ward rotes in his vest pock
et" "the relic of ye olden time" "the
great little man" "the gentleman with a
great scheme," and last but not least, "the
strong-minded female." "When I was
talking with Colonel Tom CanaTangh
at the Republican headqnarters, the
other day, a tall, slim, gray-haired and
white-mustached gentleman rushed in as if
the entire success of the campaign depended
upon him, and seoretly called Colonel Tom
aside. I beard a great mumbling of words
and then the visitor seemed to get excited
and dropping his carpet bag on one side
and an umbrella on the other, I could hear
him argue In a low but dramatic voice:
Mast See Chairman Carter.
" but you see it is it must where
is he oh lit me see him before it n too
late."
"I know 1 I know 1 !" answered the
Colonel, at the same time taking a long
Colonel, and like the "great Herrmann"
the "great .Canavaugh" was transformed
Into "Canavaugih the Great." But one of
the documents was now thrust into his face
with the long slender finger of its holder
pointing out a certain paragraph.
"Seel Readl Observe! how Harrison was
elected last Presidental campaign!"
QetUne; Rid of a Crank.
"Oh this is great," remarked Tom with a
wink at me, "Yon are indeed a great man,
a real genius, and I am so pleased that yon
are a Republican and are willing to lend us
yonr aid. You must see Colonel Carter, and
see him at once. I know he will be delight
ed to see yon. Now just sit right down here
while I tell him you are here."
"I'll go right up with you."
"No, you had better not, as he will want
to talk on such an important matter with
you alone, and I will see that no one is
there."
This jnst salted the old gentleman, and
with a beautiiul smile lighting np his
features, he seated himself in a velvet
backed armchair in a very pompons
manner.
Colonel Canavaugh walked into the back
room, lit a cigar in a manner suggeiting
great relief, then shrugging his shoulders as
much as to say "well, I've got to go back to
it," walked out Into the reception room
where the stranger waswaiting bis return.
"I am so sorry; Colonel Carter went out
just before you came in, and no one else can
do anything about a matter of 10 much im
portance." "Well now darn it that's smart. He
ought to be here tending to business. Some
thing must be done to save us."
"Well, you will do all you can for ns,"
said the Colonel, striving as best h could
to get rid of him.
"Oh, yes. I'll call again." And the old
stranger bustled out the place, leaving
Colonel Tom relieved. The man turns up
every four years with the same old scheme.
Now ior the curios of the Democratic
house. There are many if anything, more
than there are in its rival's quarters. One
especially, that I encountered there, was
the "man who carries all the ward's votes
in his Test pocket" and is always running
in to assure Chairman Sheehan that he
"needn't fear about hii ward, as it is going
solid fot Grover Cleveland!" And giving
his reasons for believing that he "carries
the ward in his vest pocket"
"I treat all the boys fine in my district,"
said he, "and they'll vote as I say."
"What you call treating the boys right?"
some one asked in a hukr voice.
"Well, yer see whatever the boys want
they know I'll help them out on, and all
they have ter do is ter cum ter me. I give
them what they want eTery time. Last
Wednesday Moikie Casey came to me and
asked for foive dollars to burry his young
baby with and
"And you let him have it, did ?"
"I told him where ter have it burried for
northing, I did, I did."
"That's a joke, that's a good Joke! and
what did yer do with their foiver.
"Why, I kept it, sure I did."
Then'as is always the case the ward boss
took a notion in his head that he must see
the Chairman.
"Who shall I tell him wants ter see him,
and what is it about?" asked the hall boy.
A Crank Without a Name.
,rWhy,tell him it's me. Tell him me. I am
sure it's no one else, and it's political busi
ness I want ter talk about; what else could
it be?"
"Yes, that's all right What's yer name.
The Chairman wouldn't know who 'me' is."
"No. that's right Well, then, tell him
it's me, and that me wants ter talk about the
ward."
Whoever "me" was I do not know, bnt I
soon discovered that he couldn't carry ten
votes much less a ward, and was of little
w 1
S I w
A Relic of Old Timet.
The Mem With a Scheme.
breath and bracing himself np in front
of the stranger. By means of placing his
hands on the gentleman's shoulders, in a
derrick-like fashion, he succeeded in check
ing his wild career.
"Don't detain me, sir, I must see Colonel
Carter. I have a scheme that clone can
carry New York for the Republican party,
which needs his immediate attention. Oh,
it is my greatest desire to see the grand old
party wipe the hul darn country clean.
And I tell you, sir, I hold the papers here,
which, it followed out, can do it and yon
shall see them."
The old carpet bag was thrown open, and
poor Canavaugh gave a long sigh as he saw
its contents. No wonder. "My heavens!"
said he under his breath as he gave a
melancholy look my way. It was simply
loade I to the muzzle with documents. The
stranger was turning them over like butter
cakes, while at the same time muttering
half to himself in a low, feverish voice:
"You shall see theml You shall see
tbem!"
This proved to be too much fcr the
consequence. In faot, a sort'er would-ba
boss n ho had actually got to thinking he
was one. I walked in Sheehan's office, at
his invitation, my card having preceded
me, and while I was there, heard the Chair
man pay to the boy:
"Who is this man lie," who wants to see
me? send him in." Then turning to me
be said:
"If this is the man I think it is, he is
worth writing up. He's a character."
The "Me" that I had seen before I en
tered Sheehan's office, now rushed in.
"How are ver. Mr. Chairman? How are
yer? Introduce me to yer friend."
But Shephan paid no' attention. "What
is it, Me?" he said. "What can I do for
you. I'm very busy. Must go to Buffalo
to-morrow."
"Mr. Chairman, the ward Is solid for
Cleveland. Nothing ever looked so much
like it, and I don't believe there's a Harri
son man in it"
"Is that all. Me? that all yon came to
see me about?"
A Mishap With a Whisky Bottle. '
Just then something dropped and, look
ing down suddenly by Me's chair, I saw a
red whisky bottle. Me had dropped it,
and to conceal the fact that he bad, he
dropped bis cane, and made out that it was
that which had made the noise. In pick
ing up the cane he picked up the bottle
also, and thought he did it unseen.
Sheeban then put on his hat and was
ready to go out
"Introduce me to yer friend, Mister Shee
han. will yer?" '
"Whv, you don't want to know him.
He's a Republican, Me."
"Go on, go on with yer. And what would.
ne oe aoing id nere;
Sheehan made no reply, but rnthedout in
haste, leaving me with the would-be ward
boss, who followed me out and tried to talk
me out of my supposed stand in politics.
The argument that followed was trully won
derful ihat is the way it was expressed.
His talk on McKinley would have been
great in a phonograplu
A Great Man of Jeflersonlan Times.
Another peculiar old character who comes
and goes about Democratic headquarters,
and excited my greatest attention for a
while, was, description, a man of about
70 years, wearing a long grav beard, and
moderately long hair, or medium height,
and rather thick set All I could hear him
say was "how things were done in cam
puiens, 30 years ago.'" So I namrd him ''the
relic of ye olden time." But, though 70
years old, he was "mishty actire," as the
boys sav, and continually rushed in and out
and seemed to think he was und r great re
sponsibility. Every time he went out he j
made sure, to call a bpv and. .tell him he
would "be back In half an hour,-" er "fust t
as soon as he possibly could," and if anyone
called, to keep them till he returned.
I asked the boy il anyone ever called to
see him, and was informed that to his know
ledge no one had, but that many who came
there knew him. He had heard Chairman
Sheeban say that he was an "old war horse,"
of the Jeffersonlan days,
s& 9L M
mnmm
enough to inform me who yon are and what
I can't
The Great Little Van.
I was told by a friend and prominent pol
itician, that he had seen this man at this
same place four years ago, and also at Wash
ington and Chicago. To me this looked
suspicious. Was he a special detective,
employed for some campaign purposes?
No One Seemed to Know Him.
"Who is he?" I asked of one of the com
mittee. "No one knows better than yourself," he
answered, shrugging his shoulders.
"What does he do here?"
"No one knows."
"But he is in and ont a dozen or more
times a day, and is always busy at some
thing." "Well, no one knows anvthlngabonthim,
so it's useless to ask questions."
I observed that, although no on would
give me the least information of him ha had
full swing at the headquarters; no one at
tempted to oppose him and he never seemed
to mingle with them.
Suddenlv I was struck with the idea that
he might be a secret messenger. One time
observing him preparing to rush out I de
termined lo go alter and see if I could see
where he went to. He turned on me and
said:
"Do you want to see me?"
"Yes." I replied, and he looked pleased
that I did.
"To decide a bet between myself and an
other inside I wish yon would be kind
enouzn to iniorm i
von do in politics?
"It's none of your business, it it?
oe bothered, uooa aay.
I made an inquiry of another committee
man inside the headquarters.
"What, that old fool?" said he "But
don't tell him I said so. Well, he's merely
a crank and a crank Of the first water He
thinks he runs the campaign. But, by the
way, I oughtn't to speak disrespectfully of
him, as he has been a great man in the
party.- Now one ef the has been. Yet,
who knows, I may follow his footsteps."
A Man Who Wants to See Harrison.
Then here is the "great little man, who is
most frequently seen about the Republican
camp, and who, in other words, knows it
all and is satisfied with nothing. He most
generally seats himself down in a prominent
part of the reception room and complains of
everything the committee does.
"Why don't the President come ter New
York and 'tend ter his business himself? I
tell yer we're loosing ground all the time.
I know bow it is myself. When I kept a
candy store and was 'always going out, my
wife told me it was no war to 'tend ter
business, and that I'd lose it. Wall, snre
enough I did. So will Harrison, but none
of these fellows will pay attention ter what
Isay."
'Why don't you lee the chairman and tell
him what you think," I suggested.
"Well, ter tell the truth, I did."
"And didn't he give you any satisfac
tion?" "Oh, yes, Carter' all right, be always
thinks the same as I do and he tried his
best ter get the President on here. I saw
him yesterday and we talked matters over
a little. He told me that Mr. Harrison
would be here next week, sure. I have a
great desire to see the President There
re many pointers I can give him."
"What do you think about McKinley?
Will he help to elect the Republican Presi
dent? "Well, now I don't feel sure of that
These fellows here in this committee think
so, but they haven't had experience enough
yet ter know. I'd 'like ter see Boss Harri
son walk in now. I'd have some changes
made here it he did." And then my friend
was politely requested not to talk so loud.
He arose, pulled his coat around his shoul
ders, and said he would "never enter the
headquarters again until Harrison arrived."
The Woman Who Wants to Help HU1.
Perhaps the most remarkable political
relio of all is "the strong-minded lemale."
To say that she is a frequenter of these
political houses would be a falsehood, but
still she is seen at both, and I was just
lucky enough to be on hand when one of
them ran in. She was met by one of the
reoeption committee and very politely
ushered into the parlor.
"Madame, what can we do for you?" she
was asked.
"No; I am going to do something for my
party. Like Dave Hill, 'I am a Democrat,'
and just as determined to see my party win
as Dave is."
"But, madame, what can you do? I as
sure" "That'll do; I assure you that 'I am a
Democrat,' and am determined to see my
party win."
"That's yery kind of you, I'm sure any
refreshments be aeoeptable to your lady
ship? Here James"
"You miserable man; is this the way you
receive ladies here?"
The poor committeeman was almost be
side himself. The female was puzzle, and
that was all he knew. To everything he
said or did she found fault '
"I want to see Dave, "she said. '.1 would
be willing to. make speeches like be does,
with him, and we could boom up the cam
paign, so that there would be no fear. You
MJr VLLwSslsaflHiissK
I'M SSfaA
Wud fKf
The Strong-Minded Female.
may think because I am a woman In appear
ance and costume, that I am chuck full of
woman nonsense; but I am as strong-minded
as any of you. Muoh more so than you,
young man. Take that flower out of your
buttonhole and put in a badge. Be true to
your party."
Why he did it I don't know, but I no
ticed that the fellow removed the flower,
and possibly if I were to go up there now I
would find the badge in its place. Lo, the
poor crank for he is wanted nowhere. Yet
either of these headquarters proves to be a
real heaven for him.
James 3. Hammond.
F77l-L' "-&'.'
BY
WBITTEW FOB TKB DICTATOH
W. CLARK RUSSELL.
tCopTrighr, 1S9!, By tne Aattor.J
On November 4, 1830, a number of con- establishments was terrible; the labor that
victs were indicted at the Admiralty Ses
sions of the Old Bailey for having on the
6th ot September in the previous year
piratically seized a brig called the Cyprus.
A South seaman was innocently and most
involuntarily, as shall be discovered pres
ently, Involved in this tragio business, to
which he is able to add a narrative that is
certainly not known to any of the chroni
clers of crime. But first as to the piratical
seizure.
The Cyprus, a colonial brig, had been
chartered to convey a number of convicts
from Hobart Town ta Mtcquarie Harbor,
on the northern coast of Tasmania and Nor
folk Island, distant about a week's sail
from Sidney, in those days a penal settle
ment There were 32 felons In all. These
men had been gnilty of certain grave of
fenses at Hobart Town; they had rendered
themselves in consequence liable to new
pnuisbment; they were tried before the
Supreme Court of Judicature there, and
sentenced to be transported to the place
above mentioned.
Only the very worst sort of prisoners
were sent to Norfolk Island and Macquarie
Harbor. The discipline at those penal
was exacted heart-breaking. The character
of the punishment was well known, and
every felon resentenced to transportation
from the colonial convict settlements very
well understood the fate that wu before
him.
The Cyprus sailed from Hobart Ton in
Angust 1829. In addition to the 32 con
victs, she carried a crew of 8 men and a
guard of 12 soldiers, under the command of
Lieutenant Carew, who was accompanied by
his wife and children. The prisoners, as
was always customary In convict ships,
were under the care of a medical man
named Williams.
Nothing of moment happened until the
brig either brought up or was hove to in
Research Bay, where Dr. Williams, Lieu
tenant Carew, the mate of the vessel, a
soldier, and a convict named Popjoy went
ashore on a fishing excursion. They had
not been gone from the ship above half an
hour when thev heard a noise of firearms.
Instantly guessing that the convicts had
risen they made a rush for the boat and
pulled for the brig. It was as they had
feared, the felons had mastered the guard
and seized the brig. They suffered no man
to come on board save Popjoy, the convict,
who, however, later on sprang overboard
and swam to the beach. They then sent
the crew, soldiers and passengers ashore,
but without provisions or the mi
portiog life. Then, among the mi
prisoners lifted the anchor and .
sail, and the little brig slipped away
Research Bay.
The chroniclers state that the vessel ..
never afterward heard of, though some ot
the(convicts were apprehended separately
in various parts of Sussex and Essex. Tha
posthumous yarn ol the mate of an English
whaler disproves this. He related hie ex
traordinary experience thus:
"We had been fishing north of the Eqna
tor, and had filled up with a little 'grease,
as the Yankees tefm it. round about tha
Galapagos Islands, but business grew too
slack tor even a whaleman's patience. Els vea
months out from Whitby, and, if my mimr
ory fails me noty less than a score of full
barrels in our hold! So the captain madn
up his mind to try south, and working our
way across the Equator we struck in amonft
the Polynesian groups, raising the southern
cross nightly higher and higher, till wo
were somewhere about latitude 30 and
longitude 75 east
"I came on deck to the relief at 4 o'clock
one morning, the weather was quiet, a
pleasant breeze was blowing to the star
board beam; onr ship was bark-rigged,
with short tontrallant masts. Cane Bora
fashion, she was thrusting through it lets
urelv under topgallant sail, and the wida
Pacific heave so cradled her as she went
that she seemed to sleep as she sailed,
"Day broke soon af ter 5, and as the light
brightened out I caught sight of a gleam on
the edge of the sea. It was as white with
the risen sun upon it as an iceberg. I
leveled the glass and made out the topmast
canvas of a small vessel. There was noth
ing to excite one in the spectacle of a dis
tant sail. The bark's work went on; thti
decks were washed down, the lookout aloft
hailed and nothing reported; and at seven
bells the crew went to breakfast, at which
hour we had risen the distant sail with it
rapidity that somewhat pnzzled tha captain
and me. For, first of all, she was not so far
off now but that we could distinguish thn
lay of her head she looked to be going our
way; but clearly she was stationary, for thi
Swan, which was the name of our bark,
though as seaworthy on old tub as ever
went to leeward on a bowline, was abso
lutely without legs; nothing more sluggish
was ever afloat; for her then to have over
hauled anything that was actually under
war would have been marvelous,
" 'Something wrong out there Grainger,'
said the Captain.
'"Looks to me to be all in the win I
with her,' I answered.
"'Make out any color?" said the Captain.
" 'Nothing as yet,' said L
" 'Shift ybur helm by a spoke or two,'
said he. 'Meanwhile I'll go to breakfast'
"He was not long below. By the timo
he returned we had risen the distant vessel
to the line of her rail. I got some breakfast
in the cabin; on passing again through tho
hatch I found the Captain looking at tho
sail through the telescope.
" 'She is a small brig,' said be, 'and she
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