r? "? 2 PITTSBTiRG- stVf' &?: THE DISPATCH, SATURDAY. JUNE 4. 189a (fc V 0$$e 4 S GREAT DETHRONE THE CZAR OCTLlIfED IS And tlicrc will be an nrray of features unsurpassed. C.rtIIXI.12 FLVJIMAUIOS f Discusses the Loss ot Life by War. Hits. FRE.M'II-SIII.DOX 1 ell- ot Africa's Women and Children. FREDCKICK KKMIXGTOX sketches Camp Lite in Ten and Pencil. CHARLES T. 3IURRAY On a Tiont Fishing Excursion. FAMOUS M. IUAD Furnishes two Columns of Fun. CYRUS C AD.U1S On 1'irates of the Present Day. FROTH G. CAfcPEJTTER Takes Snap-Shot in the White Ilouso. 1VALTER C. OOH.II Tell of the College Oarsmen. DOR! RUSSELL Continues IIerStory,Tlie LastSlgnal." THE REST FICTIOX. OCE V.V ADVEXTCRB. SCIEXTIFIC MATTERS. I'acs for "Women. Column for Youths. Departments for Sports. NEWS FROM MINNEAPOLIS Fiom Gath and a Corps spondents. of Staff Corre- ELAB3RATE CABLE SERVIC2. READTO-MORROWS QiSPflTCH. 'OOO-- sx. ippiaj. established February s, ma Vol. 47. No. US Entered at PittbwrR Postofllce NovtmbtT. JiS7, as -eroml-iUss matter. Business Office Corner Smithfield and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 7S and So Diamond Street, in New Dispatch Building. FATFHN AIWrilTI-INJ; OFFICE. ROOM TG. TKinrAEUI Il.DIN'C. fWltK.imrom- iilctc tiles ol Till". DI-PATTl! ran aln ai 8 lie tnunri. 'orelgn advertisers appreciate Hi? corienienee. Hume avlr.-rti-ers ami friends of! 1th DISPATCH, while In New York, are al-si made welcome. 3JIEJ)ISrA1ClJ i" rep'ilarh rmmlfnl firo'nn " Jfwion ?rre. .ew JorA, aid V Av tirVOyra TiriK. Frrins-. trhtre tiiin tcht his been dl&ap iwntfd at a hotel neics itaitd can Mam it. TERMS OT THE IMSPATCIT. postaof tufe iv the u;aTKD states. rnrLYlirATCIt. One Year son 1HIL1 Dispatch. Per Quarter 2 00 DULa Dispatch. One Month TO IMiia lU-rATCH. InclutilnK-imrtiv. la-ear.. 10 00 Daua Dispvtih. Including lundaa-.Sm'ths, 2 SO DtHA Dispatch. Including s.iinil.ay, llu'tli.. 90 ifMiii I)i-rAiriL O'c Y-ar 2 30 MrnLi I)ispt n. One Year 13 Tlie Daily I'isi-atcii 1- delivered bj- carriers at J3ceni ier week, or. including unda Edition, at If cents per week. riTT-r.UKli. SATURDAY, JUNE 4. 1STC. TWELVE PAGES AOTICE TO AGEXTS. THE DI-r ITdl Iia, ira !o ariaugemcnts for thw most Mtlus v, a well nnlhamost exhaustive, reports of tho Republican Na tional Convention. Agents who liavo not s-nt In their orders for extras ebnn d promptly notify the Bnstnrss Office, as tho demands already rt cIved are unprece dented. THE PEOPLE'S HEM ND. Tlie center of political intelligence has shifted duiim: the past forty-oiuht hours irom Washington to Muuieapol's, ami will remain there till the work of the con ention is finished next week. So far the intelligence sent from the Northwestern city is of a rather mixed nature. The re ports, which first state one thing and then another, represent not facts but the indi vidual opinion of each politician, and views, piedictions an I estimites will con tinue to be tinced by personal expecta tions and desires until the balloting com mences. But while the maneuvers, bargains, hopes and fears of tins politicians who are working at Minneapolis may remain a mystery, one thing in the situation shines out bejond all dispute. That is the popular demand and desire for Blaine's leadership. Politicians may scheme for their own ad vancement either bv supporting or oppos ing him, but nothing in politics has equaled the constant promptness of the enthusiasm of the people to break out on the slightest exhibition of reason to ex pect that he would consent to be the can didate. As the popular approval must be the ultimate re-ort anyway, it is beyond dispute that this quality in 31r. Blaine i the most utal. Tlie nomination of Blaine will inspire an enthusiasm in the Republican campaign that cannot be equaled in any other wa. 2so living man .so clear y represents the broad, sale and yet progressive American policy winch he has outlined as Secretary of Slate. COKNEKEIJS CORNERED. The fact that certain energetic persons in Chicago imagined that they haj.1 all the 31aj vorn cornered, and intended to xiuceze the market at the rate of a dollar per bushel, but turn out to be between the squeezers themselves, is not a subject for public lamentation. It is a noticeable feature of the id.osyncras'ies of grain spec ulation that corn appears to hold out the greatest temptation to the ambitious cor nerer, and that whether a Xew Yorker or Cliicagoan attempts it, he is generally left in the lurch by the attempt '1 hat tl.e people who start out to pinch the market by the use of the speculative methods should experience the fate of the biter bitten need cause no tears. But the demoralization and disturbance of the markets by the attempts to corner a great staple, even when successful, are in jurious to the legitimate business inter ests. They create a factitious be lief in high prices, . while the attempt to corner the market is going on, and when the corner is broken the market is unduly depressed from the excess of supplies which its artificial de mand called out. The old proverb about the happiness of a nation which has no history might well be paraphrased to state the prosperity of a trade which is not barrassed by speculative ups and downs. Finally, it Ls worth while to note the ap plication of this case to the superstition among the people who urge legislation on speculative abuses that it is the seller of options who does the injury. The fact is that the cornerer is just as much of a dis turbing element ?s the persistent short It is speculation itself with its loaded dice that wreaks the interference with legiti mate trade, and not any special act of buying or selling wind. ALLEGHENY'S ANCIENT HISTORY. Ancient bistory is causing no small amount of trouble in Allegheny City just now. Some years ago one party brought a suit against another for the removal of a stable, the claim of the former being based on the survey of the city by Daniel Lcet under State authority in 1783. After various vicissitudes the case was settled nearly two years since by a decision of the Supreme Court to the effect that this plan of the city as laid out more than a hundred years ago was the one and only authority for settling any disputes which might arise. But the question at issue in this particular case was only with regard to Federal street, declaring that it should run in a straight line, as shown in the afoiesaid plan. Councils wishing to carry out the Su preme Court decision have recently served notices on several Federal street property holders that they must alter their bounda ries to confoim with the ancient docu ment But the said property holders have no-desire to move, and point out to Coun cils that sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, and that immense trouble will arise if the decision of the Supreme Court be applied to the whole of the city covered by the late lamented Mr. Lcet's survey. The fact of the matter is that most of the streets between the parks and the river as plotted out last century run through what are now private dwellings or flourishing manufactories, and enor mous expense would be incurred by alter at'ons. In some cases the change of direction in thoroughfare was deliberately made by the property holders of the past, and the presumption is that the present owners can be legally constrained to return to the ways of yore if such action be considered desirable. But there would seem to be a good deal of moral injustice, however clear the letter of the law may be, in forc ing such great expense on those who must in many cases have purchased property in ignorance of tlie conditions which the city has permitted to arise. Again, in other instances, tlie change cf streets appears to have been made by the city itself, and herein lies an outlet for public funds which the taxpayer would find somewhat burdensome. But in all cases the probability is that efforts to secure the configuration of the city chosen by the State survey would give rise to hard-foucht contests in one court after another. And litigation between in dividuals and their municipality is to be avoided by the latter whenever possible, since its loss of a contest involves a call on the funds of citizens w ho Im e no in terest whatever in the matter. There appears to be only one wise way oyt of the difficulty, and it is to be hoped that Allegheny Councils will adopt it. Xo effort should be made to enforce the notices on the Federal street people, the streets should be allowed to run in their long accustomed directions, and the whole affair be left in ttatu quo until the meet ing of th" Legislature. In the meantime, an authoritative survey should be made of the city as it is with such alterations as may be desirable and practicable, anil a bill framed to authorize that as supersed ing Daniel Leet's handiwork. This ap pears to be the only common sense view of tlie situation, and Councils will do well to act upon it without delay. VTAF.NER MILLER'S IO-ITION. The attitude of some of the New York politicians at present is an instructive study in politics. Mr. Warner Miller has been claimed by the Harrison men as sup porting the President's renomination, and by the anti-Harrison men as supporting Blaine. These conflicting claims left Mr. Miller's position clouded by doubt, which the politicians and the newspapers were deadly anxious to have cleared away. Mr. Miller reached St. Louis the other day and telegraphe 1 to New York the fol ing statement, which defines his position: "I hae made no statement regarding the Presidentol matter and will not until I reach Minneapolis and have an opportu nity to consult with my colleagues." From which the dullest may infer that Mr. Miller does not propose to be left out side the breastworks this year without a very clear understanding how he is to be cared for. WHERE PUBLIC rOLICT DISAPPEARS. The decis'on of the Court of Chancery in Tennessee declaring void the will of President Polk, becauseit created a per petual trust, contrary '"to fp'uelic policy, calls attention to a decided contrast The decision sets aside the will and distributes its gifts among forty-eight heirs, simply because even an ex-President could not dispose of Lis own property in a manner contrary to the settled public policy of a Democratic State. Yet it is borne in tipor, the observing mind that though ex-Presidents cannot, there arc a class who can do things not in accordance with public policy, and can keep on doing them after they have been declared illegal by the courts. Railroad corporations are becoming familiar with the experience of having their acts de clared contrary to public policy, and keep ing right on doing them, whether it !s a trans-continental pool or the absorption of a parallel and competing line in Pennsyl vania. The trusts find it so regular a thing to dodge decisions of the courts by a shallow evasion that one or two States have gone into the regu lar busines'of furnishing charters for that purpose. Inasmuch as tlie especial weakness of the Polk will was its attempt to create an entailed estate, it is interest ing to note that the private policy of the Astor family is able to override the princi ple of public policy which an ex-President's will could not do. There is also instruction in comparing the two classes whose ability in that re spect is so strongly contrasted. President Polk had held the highest office in the gift of the people. Like most Presidents he left a fortune counted by tens or hundreds of thousands. To suppose that such a pitiful accumulation ot dross could be dis posed ot without regard to the public wel fare was a great mistake. It is only when public policy runs up against accumula tions of wealth that are counted by tens and hundreds of millions that it develops the light-weight tendency and selects the time for disappearing. Yet there has been a widely spread idea that this is a country where there are no privileged classes, and in which the high- est power is lodged in the hands of officials elected bythe people. stokie; of corkoption. Two topics of current gossip illustrate the need for a better understanding of the principles of public and private honesty. One is a report concerning a squeeze in the stock of a city street line; the other is an explanation of now a Councilman was fixed to vote for the Exchange Railway ordinance. In the first case we hare the allegation not only that 5100,000 of stock was placed where it would do the most good, but that as a sequel the management of the com pany is using the powers of a trust po sition to squeeze then: own stockholders. In the other we have the report that not only was a Councilman forced to vote against his conscience, but that the con sideration was his release from the liability of a bail bond which no one can honestly give him and which he could not honestly received In short, the stories represent both sides to these transactions as occupy ing about an equal plane of rascality. If affairs are conducted on this universal basis of dishonesty it is well to know it Such reports should be followed either by criminal prosecutions or libel suits. FAMILIIR HUT FRILLED. That energetic act of exorcism which took place in Bavaria the other day has occasioned a good deal of talk, even to the extent of a Government investiga tion. It is regarded as something foreign to civilization and medieval. The details are rather out of harmony with the fin de siccle it is true, but in the general purport of the proceeding we recognize an old friend. There was a ten-year-old boy named Zilk under the control of the Capuchin cloister in TVernding. The priestly esti mate of the boy may have been slightly deflected by the fact that the boy had a Protestant mother; but the testimony is to the effect that, as is not unusual with boys of a single decade, he was a terror." It was concluded that he had Old Ned in him; and an able-bodied shepherd under took the task of exorcising the evil spirit The exorcism was in the form of bodily castigatioji. He licked the boy and evil spirit with ali tlie force of muscular man hood. He held conversations with the evil spirit in which the latter acknowledged that he had left the boy and would not come back. But the astute churchman, recognizing that his antagonist is the father of lies, refused to accept his word for it, and thrashed boy and devil a while longer, until the "latter imparted the in formation that he was then in hell, which ended the operation. The treatment seems to have been efficacious, for the exorcised boy now attends church like a pattern. The details of this operation are a little peculiar at this age; but after all it is a process which was not unfamiliar to most of us w ithin the past generation. It is by no means confined to Bavaria. It is simply, with a few adlitional frills, the task which Puritanism has practiced with zeal that of licking the devil out of a boy. Candor compels the statement, from a recollection of the process, that while it might be occasionally misplaced it was usually efficacious. The Bavarian shep herd is undoubtedly correct in the belief that if the process is continued indus triously enough the evil spirit will event ually vacate the premises. rLATT M IKING A RECORD. There is war, wild, weird, wailing war, among the "Big Four" of New York, and for two of them Mr. Piatt has sharpened his scalping knife. He has intimated that Frank Hiscock need not expect to go back to the Senate, and of Chauncey M. Depew he says savagely: Mr. Depew is an officeholder appointed by President Harrison. He is now leceivins sit or eight dollars a day. It is a matter of bread and butter to him. HisXewYoik lriends ate exceedingly tolerant of hisroe coloied views, feeliug that if thev really resented Mr. Depew's platitudes about his chief it might jeopardize his position. Warner Miller has discreetly announced that he will support anybody who is nomi nated, and so saves Piatt the trouble of taking a third scalp Depew's reputation as an after-dinner speaker is assured, and so "Me Too" is trying to establish a sort of fame as a talker before meals. Since Louisiana has gotten rid of its lottery a Xew Orleans (,'r.ind Jury is advo cating the issue of high-priced gambling licenses to saloons. The ruling passion ls strong in death down there. "He is likely to be nominated if he has delegates enough to do it," is said of Blaine by Senator Hale, of Maine, according to the Xew York Herald, But there Is a wise non committal sense tu the remark which makes it equally applicable to the darkest of dark horses. Prophets who phrase their prog nostications in this nay are as secure from mistake as they are devoid of interest. Hill's committal vote with the"ilver men the other day may be taken as evidenco that even he begins to realize that his chances for tho Piesidcntal nomination are less than nil. . Dr. Parkhuest is on his way to Europe to enjoy the Alps and, incidentally, to study the viceof Tails and London. AVhat ho adds to his personal knowledge of immorality in New York should make the Doctor the best informed man in the world on this interna tional subject by the time he gets back to Ameiica. The less pedigree a dark horse has, and the smaller amount of grooming it has undergone, the better will be its chance of slipping into the White House unobserved. The lynching of a negro in New York yesteiday suggests that an inclination to mob violence is a national rather than a sectional failincr, and tho disgrace to our civ ilization is not lessened by tho ubiquity of its appearance. We are a lav-abiding peo ple when our passions are not roused. President-maker Russell Harrison is likely to be much distuibed over Blaine's announcement j-esterday that "thero won't be any more communications." A Pennsylvania oil driller is said to be drillmaster ot the Venezuelan revolu tionists. He has evidently male a 'change of tools, and has put his knowledge of shoot ing to an unaccustomed use. All's well that ends well, but he may And that he is among wildcats. , Among other appropriate celebrations of the King of Denmark's golden wedding was the introduction of the bi-chloride of gold treatment in Copenhagen. They had snow in Texas on Thursday. But it's no use talking about the weather, for those knowing people that foretell what is coming next know as little about it as anyone else. Still ' there's no place like Texas lor freaks of one kind and another. Batiung costumes would have been ex tremely convenient in the city yesterday. But conventional fashion always ignore matteiso! comfort. There will be several big fours at Min neapolis presently, but, then, none or them seem 'inclined to run easily in harness together. It will need a verv able whip to Keep them in hand and the probability is that there will be some lively collisions. Minneapolis is a hive of political in dustry Just non, and the hum of the Fresi dental bee is heard on every telegraph post in the country. It appears to be an easy step from editing religious newspapers to duelling 4n Arkan sas. Klval "religious' editors of that State are expected to have a meeting before long in which sweetness and light will be con spicuous by their absence. Express robberies may be expected at this season, as there must be a good deal of money for political purposes in process of transter. ' "Unimpeachable" and "reliable" authorities in political matters are at pres ent a drug on tho market. It is something absolutely truo that the public wants, but it will hare to wait for that until the nomina tions have been made. Tin plate is excellent ' material for many uses, but armor plate ls insufficient to protect some of the so-called P residcmal booms. "" There is a somewhat humorous flavor about many of the political "interviews" published at this time, which savors of the conversation books used in learning foreign languages diluted with a tincture of the writer's imagination. Ex-Mayor Wyman is at large, but it has not j et been announced that he has written a book or read the Allegheny city charter. The London Times has been prosecuting the SL Jamei Gazette lor stealing its news. The surprising part of the matter is that there should be news to steal and enterprise enough to steal it in any two English papers. Some of the Presidental aspirants will find their progress interfered with by hot journals. TnoSE mighty Giants could not keep up their good fortune of Thursday, and yester day our nine made the Ne Yorkers grovel once more. "Wo are in fifth place now, so theieislots of room for a tumble. Dark horses are out of siht now,though they may enter the field later on. If individual citizens looked after their interests as assiduously as the traction com panies watch over their own affairs a very remarkable chango would soon be observ able in the behavior of Councils. MEN AND WOMEN OP K0TE. Senator Palmer is a great newspaper reader. The King of Siam, who is 39, is the eldest of 81 children. Andrew Jackson Houston, son of General Sam Houston, is tho Eepubllcan nominee for Got ernor of Texas. Lord Tennyson is said to have made moio money fiom the sale of his verses than any other poet who has ever lived. Prof. McMasters is at work on the fonith volume of his "History of the Ameri can People," which will probably be pub lished in 1894. George Fred Williams, the distin guished Massachusetts Congresman, is the son of a German. Most people think he is a full-blooded Yankee. In addition to the possession of other necessary qtialiflcitions of diplomacy the new American Minister to France, Mr. T. Jefferson Coolldge, is an accomplished lin guist. The London Times prints an authorized statement that Princess Marie, eldest daugh ter of tile Duke of Edinburgh, was yester day betrothed to tho Ciown Prince ot Itou manla. Emanuel McMahon, second son of Marshal McMahon, ex-Presidentof Franco, was married in Paris on Wednesday to Mile, de Fromlsent, daughter of the Vicomtesse de FromiseHt. v (The ex-Queen of Servia has written a nlayontitled "Mother," descriptive to ome extent of her own grievances. It has been purchased by a Parisian manager in search of a new sensation. Hamilton L. Earle, of London, who was married on April 30 to the daughter of Sir Edwin Arnold, Is a direct descendant of the Mayflower pilgrims, his grandfather, Admiral Earle, having mariied Elizabeth White, or Plymouth, Mass. TnE engagement is announced of Miss Mattie. daughter of millionaire Fleishman, tho Cincinnati yeist man, to Dr. C. K. Holmes. Miss Fleishman created a sensa tion not long since by giving tho "mitten" to Count Logothetti, who is now working m Chicago. The Secretary of War has authorized Captain J. T. Haskell, Twenty-third In fantry; Lieutenant Georgo Andrews, Twenty-filth Infantry, and Lieutenant II. A. Beed, Second Aitillerv. to attend the na tional competitive drill of the National Guards at Omaha, Nob., from tho I3fh to 20th inst. MATCHBOX FLIRTATION. ARomantlc Akron Girl rinds a New Way of Getting a Husbsnd. Akron. Juue 3. Special. One year ago Jennie Vermillion, a 17-year-old gill who works nt tho Diamond match factory, placed a note in a box of matches which she packed, with the lequcst that if it fell into the hands of a young man he would corre spond with her. Leonaid Carter, of Stenbenville, was the fortunate youlh. and since that time he and Jennie have been sending tender missives to each other. This morning the girl's mother leported nt police headquarters that she had not been home for St hours. This evening it was learned that she had pawned a gold watch for $10 and has staited for Pittsburg, presumably to meet her Steuben vlllefiiend. Gov. McKlnley Initiated In a Fraternity. Columbcs, June 3. Special. Various Ohio chapters or the Sigma Alpha Epsilon collezo fraternity met hero to-day and es tablished a clnptor at the State University. A feature of the meeting was the initiation of Governor McKinley as a member of tho Ohio Sigma Chapter of Mt. Union College, of which the Governor is an alumnus. An other important step was tho organization of a Stato association. Wntterson Is Again Indignant. New York Press. Colonel Henry Wattorson and his star-eyed goddess look upon the work of the SrincusO convention with dislnvornnd downright In dignation. They ai e lully persuaded that of all tho fools theie is no tool like the kicking fool of Now Yoik politics. A Knack Blaino lias. New York Commercial Advertiser. Mr. Blaine, during his leccnt sojourn i this city, showed himself possessed ot tho very highest art of the conversationalist; the knack, that is, of setting others to talk ing for dear life while maintaining himself a masterly silence. A Scarce Individual New York Press. The man who can't tell you who will bo nominated at both conventions and Just how it will be 'done is at piesent thelone somest and forlornest fellow in the whole neighborhood. It must be added also that he ls the scarcest. A Pennsy Train Wrecked, Wilkesbarre, June 3. A, freight train o tlie Pennsylvania Railroad was derailed at Retreat this afternoon, nnd 27 cars wore thrown down the embankment into the Sus quehanna river. Some of the cars weie loaded with grain. The crew escaped in Jury. vt here Royalty Is Ontclassed. Boston Herald.) The Earl of Clancarty has been posted for not paying his debts, which shows that three balls are more than coronets, and sim ple trust than Norman blood. UNCLE SAM AND CANADA Have a Conference A boat Trade Relations Harrlnon's Ideas of Silver Coinage Job Printers Score a Point Bills Ap prove 1 by the President Washington, June3. Secretary Blaine nd General J. W. Foster, representing the United States, and Sir Julian Pauncefote, the British Minister; Hon. George Foster, Canadian Minister of Finance, and Hon. McK. Bon ell, Minister of Customs, repre senting Great Biitain and incidentally the Dominion Government, had a conference at the State Department to-day in regard to the trade relations between the United States and Canada. Tlie main question nt isue is the alleged discrimination on the ptrt of Canada against the United States in the matter of tolls on the Welland and St. Lawrence ycanals, which discrimination is held to bo in violation or the treaty of 1871. It appears that tho Dominion Government, at tlie opening of the season, issued an orfler regulating the toli3 on the two canals, and there has been much complaint on tho part of the citizens of the United States for years past that the order creates a marked discrimination against American lines of tiansportation in the in terest of Monti eal and tho connecting lines of tiansportation. This practice has been a frequent subject of complaint to the Bntish Minister In this city, in recent years, and was one of the subjects considered at the conference with the Canadian commission ers in Februarv last. At that time assurance was given that tho discrimination would not be continued, bat the Canadian order In cqpncU," legulating tho canal tolls for the curient year, issued since tho above confer euce, contains all the objectionable features of discrimination complained of in previous orders. The matter wn ngnin bioughtto the attention of the Biitih Minister, with an intimation that the lieidcnt was con sidering the propriety of sending a special inesase to Consicsson the subject. It ls said, therefore, th it tlie Canadian Ministers havo brought about tho piesent conference, with a view of reaching an agieement that will obvlato any desire on the paitof this Goveinmont to lesort to letallatory mea mes. The conference will last several days. Harrison's Idea of silver Coinatre. Secretary Foster on his return from New York gave tlie Piesiilent an account of sev eral conferences in that city with financiers lepresentingdiffeient shades of tho silver question. In comineming on these expres sions of opinion the I'resldentstatedhisown views to the Secretary upon various points raised. Theowere, in general terms, those "et torth in the lettPr of invitation of the European Governments to the monetary confeience. The President, in his talk with the Societary, nnrcd him that ho intended to tak'i care that the composition of the com mission slnill be such as to convince all lair ininded pcoplo that the stiongestposiblo effort will be made to secure an international ngicemetit upon an agreed ratio, and the opening of the mints of the world to the coinage of silver as tieelv as is now accorded to gold. Tlfe administration is in possession ot miicii information upon this subject from many of the connttics in Europe, and is hopelnl that a satisfactoiy outcome is likely to result from the deliberations of the con feience. Job Printers to Have a Chaice. In the House to-day,Mr. Scott,of Illinois, offered an amendment to the postoffloe ap propriation bill providing that no part of the appiopriation lor stamped envelopes shall be used to pay for or furnish stamped envelopes having the names of any business firm, corporation or advertising device piinted thereon, and making it unlawlul .'or the Postmaster General to have iequets for the return of Ietteis printed on any en velope sold bv tho Postofllce Department, provided, however, that the department may continue to furnish stamped envelopes containing tlie words: "If not delivered within ten days, return to ." Agreed to. Approved by the President. The President has approved the act mak ing Laredo, Tex., a sub-port or entry, nnd the act amending section 2,807 and 2,881, l evised statute'', so as to pet mit a change in the destination of a cargo of imported mfer chandiseatany time within 15 days from the time it is entered "for orders." Assessed Values of Property. The Census Bureau to-day Issued a bul letin on the subject of assessed valuation of property in tho United States In 1390. The bulletin shows that tho assessed value of all propel tv, excluding lalliojd property, ex cept in certain specified States, has Increased fiom $169T2,99-I,543 in 18S0 to $24,621,K)J,46 in 1590, an incicase during the decade of $7,748. 591,922, or 45 84 per cent. Should it be found upon the completion of the Inquiry In rela tion to the true value of all property in tho United States that the same relation exists in 1890 between the assessed valuation and tiuo valuation as existed in 1SS0 tho ab solute wealth of the United State according to the eleventh census may be cstini.ited.it $C3,G49,000,000. or more than $1,000 per capita as against $t14 per capita in 1CG0, $7b0 ner capita in 1S70 and $670 per capita in 1SS0. Owing, however, to the fact that in some Slates proporty is assessed at its lull value and in others at only a Iraetion of its value, comparisons of tho wealth of the Stares is quite impossible. In some Stites, too, tho lists of the kinds of taxable property vary gieatly from those in others. Blaine at a Cabinet Meeting. The Cabinet meeting to-day was attended by all the members except Secretary Tracy, who is at Annapolis. Secretary Blaine came incoinpanv with Secretary Elkins, but re mained only half an hour, returning to the StntoDepaitment nnd resuming a confer ence with the Canadian commissioners which was interrupted by his departure for the Cabinet meeting. Letting Up on ISank Taxation. Representative Richnrdson, of Tennessee, will on Monday next ask the Hotue to pass, under suspension of the rules, a bill to re peal the law imposing a tax of 10 per cent on the circulation of all other than national banks. LOWELL IN WESTMINSTER. The English Originator of tho Slemorlal Movement Defends His Conrse, Lokdon, June 3. Tho Lowell Memorial Committee has decided to fill two windows in tho vestibule of the Chapter House of Westminster, Leslie Stephen, tho originator of the movement to honor the American poot, wiites to the Timet in referonco to the matter. He coincides with the plan adopted by tho committee and thinks that their solcction of tho place is vorv appropriate. Ho savs Lowell delivered three addresses In te Chapter House, on two occasions, one being a dedication of the monuments to Longfellow and Coleridge nnd the other being a meeting called to promote the plan lor providing a memorial of Dean Stanley. THE FIRST CAMPAIGN SONG. It Is Labeled 'Gi-aiiclfalh-r's Bat Fits Ben," and thp Air Is Lively. The Minneapolis Tribune is the first Har nson organ in the field with a ditty dedi cated to Benjamin. Hero It is: When savages threatened the land And roamed with the torch and the knife. Ah few could their fury withstand And panic and terror were rife. But out lnS.be West there appeared. A leader right royal and true. AndTecumseh went broke when he felt the bold stroke Of gallant old Tippecanoe. Chorus. Andgra-idfathcr's hat fits Ben, It may be a trine too tight. For Benjamin stands about seventeen hands The loftiest statesman hi sight; Yes, grandfather's hat fits lien. He wears It with dignified grace. So rally "agen" and put Uncle Ben Eight back" in his grandiatber's place. They took up that Harrison then. To run apolitical race. That grandad of our little Ben, Went round at a terrible pace. The lires of our father's lit up The dome of the heavens so blue. Nobody was In It, uot e'en for a minute. Beside our old 'ilppecanoe. Chorus. And grandfather's hat fits Ben, etc. A chip of the same old block Is brave little lien of to-day. He comes from the genuine, stock. As none will deny or galusay. To God and his country and home Ever faithful and loyaf and true. He wears the old hat aud It tits him right pat. The hat of old Tippecanoe. Chorus. And grandfather's hat fits Ben. etc CONVENTION NEWS. The DUpntch "Wl.I, as Usual, Have the Best and Brightest Reports. The DisPATCH.which was the first upon tho field or Presidental actional Minneapolis, will continue to furnish the most elaborate, divei siflcd and' non-partisan reports of the work and gossip prior to and during the Re publican National Convention. Besides assigning the best reporters on our staff. to look after the local end of the proceeJings, The Dispatch has secured Mr. Georoe Alfred Towhsesd, ("Gath") to sketch the features of each day's doings un til the close of tho convention. In addition, The Dispatch will be served by a special staff composed of the best writers on the leading Jour nals of the country. By this co-operative arrangement The Dispatch will secure all the inside and ontside information, which will bo carried quickly over its leased wires and given to the public at the earliest hour every morning. The Dispatch also has at its command the elaborate rerjorts of the Associated Press, which has made extensive preparations for covering the routine work of the great gath ering. Patrons of The Dispatch will get every thing from all sides and in good shape. "STUPID IN1OIEBAH0E" Editor Elliot F. Shepanl Pays His Rrsp-cts to thi Pittsburg u. P.'s. New York Mall and Express. The spectacle of a handful of religionists sitting at Pittsburg pronouncing Benjamin Harrison "not a Christian, 'because, per chance, ho differs w ith them as to a Chinese policy, would be shocklng-wero it not also amnslng. Such incidents cast discredit on the church universal. ' Probably not 1 in 20 of the men and women who voted on the resolution Know even the ontllno of this nation's dealings with the Chinese. Tlie Mail arm Express lias led in the move ment to secure tho Celestials their rights, but we respect honest opinions, we recog nize tho exigencies in statecraft, and we depiecate any anticipation of the differ entiation of sheep and goats,especialIy when so enlightened and earnest a Christian as Benjamin Harrison ls side-tracked with leprobates. LOBBYISTS FOB THE CONVENTIONS Appointed bv- the Nicaragna Canal Con- cress Before It Adjourns. St. Louis, June 3. At to-day's session of the Nicaragua Canal Conference, an invita tion from the World's Fairauthmities that the canal be represented at tho World's Fair Waterways Convention at Chicago in 189J, was received and referred. The report of the Committee on Resolutions Indorsed the canal as feasible-recommended Government assistanco with protection secured to the Government's interests: recommended in vestment in the canal company's securities to the American people, and directed the appointment of two committeos, one to visit each of the great National political conven tions, to secure their indorsement of Gov ernment control of the canal. Altera warm debate on the phraseology of the second resolution, the report was modified at that point slightly and then adopted. The con vention adjourned sine die. BLAIXEITES, CHEER DP! The Convention has bnt one man to vote for, and that ls Blaine. Keto York Be aid. A caivefui. study of tho situation Involves the belief that Mr. Blaine will bo nominated on the first ballot. New York Commercial Advertiser. Mr. Blaine's mental condition may be a painful and a delicate theme, but it is plain that it is to be a part or the fight at Minne apolis. Baltimore Herald. If the hearts of tlie peoplo turn to Blaine, and he is nominated, he must accept, and we believe he will have not the slightest hesita tion in doing so. Philadelphia Inquirer. We do not know whether Mr. Blaine is a candidate for nomination at Minneapolis. If bis silenco continues another week it will give consent. Brooklyn 8 andard-Union. There is no longer any reason to doubt that Secietary Blaine's Immediate personal and political lriends have his consent to con sider him a candidate for the Presidency. New York Advertiser. Mr. Blaise is said to have remarked to somebody, "Yon may say that I will noither write a letter nor Bend a telegram to the managers of the Minneapolis Convention." This is a double end peg, and on It hang two hats. Brooklyn Citizen. The outlook to-day Is that the battle now on at Minneapolis will be a square fight to the death between Harrison and Blaine, and that ono or the other will be nominated as the Republican candMate for President. Philadelphia Times. Whatever Mr. Blaine's knowledgo of his own mind may bo, there Is very little room for doubt that lie has given Piatt, Clarkson, Fassctt & Co the impression that he would not decline a nomination if It were to oe of fered. Ntw York Post. No more significant or satisfactory accom paniment of the Blaine movement could reasonably be expected or desired than the recent publication of tno opinion of Dr. Pep per, of Philadelphia, as to the Plumed Knight's physical condition. Elmira Adver tiser. A Sign of Progression. Chicago Inter-Ocean. When Kentucky asks that "no whisky shall bo sold on the Exposition grounds at the World's Fair," who can say that the temperance causo is waning? How the Tide Is Running. New York Adrerllser. Even thoCollectorof the Port of Portland, Me., who was appointed by Mr. Harrison over the head or Speaker Rood, has come oat for Blaine. This shows how the tide is run ning. DEATHS HERE AND ELSEWHERE. C. S. BTaltby, Oyster Draler. C S. Maltby, the well-known oyster dealer, died In New York Thursday morning. The deceased was prominently Identified with the early history of Pittsburg, having first established an 0 stcr depot ou Second avenue In 1838. From there he removed to the present site of the St. Charles Hotel, and It was In his storeroom where the first telegraph office in the city was opened. From Wood street he moved to Firth avenue, where he erected the present Commercial Gazette building. Mr. Maltby was the originator of the oyster busi ness, and was also the first to establish an express between Pittsburg anil Kaltlmore. He hanlcd light freight to points between here and llaltimnre, the wagons returning Uden with ctnned oysters. He leaves a wife and two marrle 1 daughters, who reside in New York. II. B., W. ., blrtnev 11. and Charles E Foster, and Mrs. A. S. Morcland. ofthisclt), are nephews and a niece of the de ceased. Irving Schullz, Wilcox, Pit. Irving Schultz, a wealthy tanner and speculator of Wilcox, Pa., died at Masons LaFitle, France, Wednesday, of congestion of the brain, the result of a severe attack of the grip, contracted In America. Mr. Schultz arrived in Paris la January aud has been at Masons LaFltto since April. Mr. Schultz, who was only 28 years old. leaves an estate or over tl.000.000. The body will be scut to America to-morrow. Obltn-iry Notes. MRS. Lillie Sr.RENA, of McKeesport, died Thursday, after being a sufferer from consumption for months. JOHN Kxox Duxlap, aged 44 years, for eight years telegTaph editor of the Boston Transcript. died Thursday at his brother's residence in Eliza beth, N.J. TnKOPniLUS Farley, a veteran of the rebellion, having served in the Ninety-third and One Hun dred and Sixth l'ennsi Ivanla Regiments, died at his home In Uuquesiie. Mrs. Scs ax Wakplir died at her home In Mc Keesport Thursday, after an illness of only three days. The family had only recently moved to Mc Keesport from Westmoreland county. Nathan Austkt, for many years a well-known circus clown, died at the State Lunatic Hospital In Worcester, Mass.. Wednesday evening, aged 58 years, in his younger days he was an acrobat and rider. f John Pierce, an old-time negro minstrel who Ibas traveled with a number of variety troupe, was Vfonnd dead In his bed on Thursday afternoon In the (Planters' Hotel, New York. The appearance of Vie body and the room seemed to indicate, that aVath was due to natural causes. Bis real name wn John Owens, ami tie was M years old. , AT THE CLUB THEATER. The Closing Exercises of the- Art Society Duty Held Last Night Examining the Carnegie Library Plans Scansion or thi Social Horizon for the Day. The joint efforts last nlsiut of such people as Miss Bertha Kvlerly, Mi's Blanche New comb and Mr. Beveridge Webster formed a most delightfnl introduction to the nnnnal meeting of the Art Society and also its closing reception for the year. Mr. Webster ls too much a feature or mnstcal circles hero to require other allusion than tho presenta tion of his name. Miss Kaderly mUht ho described as voung in the knowledge of the PHtsbnrg pnblicand yet old in itsaffoction'-. When she appeared on the stage in a pretty sea green frock with an effective noseay of flowers mstenod in her bodice, there was a greeting somewhat suprtslng to those who are acquainted with the critical society upon which she was bowing. The programme opened by Miss Kaderly's singing of Massenet's "Elegy" to Mrs. Web ster'u accompaniment, and a violin obllgato by Miss Newcomb. The singers carried the piece through with a deprh of feeling com mensurate to tho subject, displaying some flno notes in tho lower resistor and deliver ing them with both ease and power. A pleasing variation was civen In the next number. Kelnecke's "Italian Dance Song," when an entirely different style was pre sented with grenl finesse, and delicacy. Miss Newcomb, in hor appearance as a soloist, was greeted warmly, and certainly made a most pretty pictnro in hersimnlo white gown and rather classical face, as she rested the violin against hor chin. Tho first movement or Grieg's sonata for violin and piano, opus 8, Allegro con brio, though It was plaved with a good deal of In telligence, Miss Newcomb was scarcely so pleasing as in the second, the allegretto quasi andantino. This was mai red, or, rather, would have been marred, onlv for the "raceful manner In which it was carried off by an exasper ating little ine'dent the sudden breaking of a string in the midst of a particularly striking passane. The yonng lady, making a little disgusted monl, held up the violin in full view of the audience, who, bearing tho snap, fully realized the situation, and then made a quick departure. Ten minutes suf ficed to remedy tho nccident, and th pro gramme was finished, concluding avith another selection bv Miss Kaderlv. Mr. Webster had n snnerb Instrument, and more than Justified the possession of it by his renditions as an accompanist and in the ponata. An interesting feature of the even ing was the examination of the plans in do tail for the Carnegie Library. All through the alternoon and evening of yesterday a continuous throng of people lined t!,o corridors in the new addition to the Allegheny General Hospital. The minor ity of those present were visitors and had come not only to tako a part in the house warming ceremonies, but to inspect the new building and the many wonders itcontaincd. The guests were met by a corps of attend ants and thoroughly initiated into the mysteries of the recently completed and much needed annex. Tho first place visited was tho operating rrom lor the gynaecologi cal department, upon tho third floor. In this room nnd the etherizing de partment attached, no efforts nor expense were snared to make it complete. The floors and sides of tho room are of polished marble which nlves the Interior an elezant appearance. To one side is an improved range for sterilizing the instruments and towels, and immediately adjoining It is a series ot stationary mable washstands with bras fixings anil trimmings. A large polished brass boiler will supplv the physi cians with hot water, and the operating table is of a late improved pattern. Four windowsare conspicuous for their unusual height and width, and owing to the facilities contained the apartments are so light that tho most difficult operation can be per formed with eac. On the samp floor aro,three wards: two of which are devoted to the maternity depart ment. On the second floor there are two large public wards and three rooms for the ne of private patients. These are also com plete in every detail and present a neat and handsome appearance. On the lower floor there are four wards utilized by Suigeon LIppincott for the accommodation of pa tients suffering with diseases of the eye and ear. After making the ronnds of the new addition to tho hospital, the guests were in vited to partake o. luncheon. All seemed willing to concede that the Allegheny Gen eral Hospital was, with its new addition, an Institution worthy of the city to which it belongs. TnE following standing committees for the Newsboys' Home have beenappointed: Educational Mr. E. Z. Smith, Mrs. J. I. Kay, Mrs. Otto Wutp, Mrs. 11. Da Puy, Mrs. Van Kirk. Purchasing Mrs. C. A. Nicola, Mrs. J. D. Carson, Mrs. W. J. Wilkius. Evening services, Miss Elise Mercur. Mrs. J. Fullwood. Penny Provident Fund Mrs. W. A. Magee, Miss Rebecca Ecnshnw. ThPse committees will have charge of tho Home during the ensuing year. Bishop Bowman Institute issued its Invitations yesteiday for the annual com mencement on next Tuesday morninj at 10 o'clock. The KI'ht Rev. Cortlandt White head, D. V., will preside. The Rev Henry Mottot, ot New York, make the annual ad dress, and the rector, the Rev. Dr. Coster, pre6ont the prizes. Trinity Church, as here tofore, will bo the scene o: thi3 interesting event. The class is composed of Nellie Cnl ton Aiken, Mary n. Anderson, Jnlla Car-oti, Jean Elliott Mao Ennltv, Clara Evans Jiaple, Carrie May McLean, Hester McLure. Jpan nette Morrison Palmer, Mary Caroline Pat terson, Marv Louise Slagle, Margaret Parker Whitehead. The management of the Homeopathic Hospital, or, it might be more correct to say, the women managers, intend next week to formally open to the public tho lecent mag nificent gift made by Mrs. William Thaw, which took the practical form of a fine an nex, including a department for eye and ear patients. In addition to the opening there will be some features of a more purely social order a tea and a reception begin ning on Thursday afternoon and continuing on the afternoon follnntiig. It is not need ful to tav, aftor one looks at the names ap pended, that the day, so urns the quantity and quality of the attendance is concerned, will bo eaentlnl. Bur, more thnnthls.it is desired that everyone interested in Iearninir of the progresof such works of utility and charity as tl.e scone of a hospital em braces will consider this intimation in the light of a personal invitation and endeavor to be present. A ticket of admission is required, which will open to tho holder or lr nn attractive luncheon menu of tea, coffee, chocolate, sandwiches and other edibles provokingly geae-alized as "and so forth." This part ot the enter tainment will be presided over by pre arranged committees as follows: Ico Cream Department Mr. William Thaw, chair man; Mrs. J. J. Vandergrifr, Mrs. T. B. Kol blns, Mrs. H. E. Collins, Mrs. Gcorao 1.. Mc Coy, Mr. W.J. Moorhe.ad. J!is McClelland, Mrs. E. J. Allen, Mrs. Omar S. Decker. Tea Tables Mrs. George II. Anderson, chair man; Mrs, N. M. Smith, Mrs. J. W. Pau', Mrs. S. Jarvis Adams, Mrs. H. W. Fulion, Mrs. J. Hanorth. Lemonade and F!o vprs Mrs. James McCrea, chairman; Mrs. W. D. Wood and a party of aids not yet appointed. Foclat Clutter. The Ladies' Aid Society of Emanuel Lutheran Church, ot Allegheny, will give a Dazar andlcecieam nnd stnwberry festi val, Thursday evening, Juno 9. at the resi dence of Mrs. Louis Hoist.No. 81 lleavor avenue, Allegheny. The proceeds are to bo devoted to the chinch, wno-e Irlemlsand their friends ate requtsted to be present. The Br.iun Cotillon Clnb w ill hold its series of lawn rctcs nt Winusor Park. Eeilevue. on Thursday evenings, Juno 16.30, July 14,2s, August II, 23 and September 8. Arrange ments will bo majle to have trains leave Union station to reach grounds in proper time. Uorncrt's Orchestra will supply ihe music. The Secret iry or the Episcopal Chnrch Homo desires to assnrutbo public thiough the columns o, The Dispatch the date of thor annual lestlval thero will not be changed, ns at first had been expected. It will he as usual on the second Tiimsda". ot June, which isthel6th day of the mouth. At the regular Ion monthly meeting of tho Academy of Science ana Art Inst night James E. Keeler. director of tho Allegheny Obscrvatorj-, delivered n lec'.uru to an in terested andlonce on "Tho Now Star in Auriga." Tho meeting was average in at tendance. Ixvitatioxs were issued yesterday for the marriage of Miss Mary Emit a Kennedy nnd Mr. Thomas Joseph FitzpatrlcU.on Tuesday morning, June 14. The ecroniouy will bo solemnized In Si. James' R. C Church at 8 o'clock. Mas. Kaupmaux, of Ben Venue place, has Issued invitations fora reception to be given Thursday, June 9, for Mr. and Mrs. Werner Kanfbiann, who.-e marriage took place last Tuesday. Dr. Max M. Eble, of Louisville, Ky., who has been the guest of Mr. and Mrs. Martin O'Connor, of Gibbon street, for the past week, hns gone en route for South America. Me. add Mrs. M. IL Datiziqer will sail from New York on June 9 lor Europe by steamship Augusta Victoria, to stay abioad for several month. CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. A Pniladelphia cigar seller gives away a Sunday newspaper with every quarter's worth of cigars. The locomotive engine was known, it is said, in China nt the beginning of the eighteenth century. It is estimated that two-thirds of the public money held by the London 'banks does not bear interest. 1 The mines of the world produce 25 tons of gold every week, bnt thepreciou3 metal remains as rare as over. There are two eclipses of the sun every year, and sometimes five, though the ob scuration is only partial. Twin brothers, residimr at Arcadia, Ind., celebrated their SOtli birthday on Sac nrdav. They married twin sisters, who are now 75 years old. The American Bible Society will make an exhibit at the Columbian Exhibition, in which will appear copies of Bibles in more than 200 different languages. Probably the largest mountain trout ever caught in the United States was caught at Twin Lakes, Co! , recently. It measured 26J Inches long aud 7 inches thick. A "Western theater which had been temporarily closed announces that it will shortly reopen with Mile. Flynfway, the cele brated danseuse, newly painted and dec orated. Like some of the rings of to-day the signets worn by the Israelites bore Inscrip tions. The breastplates or the high priests wero set with 12 precious stones, each one representing a tribe or tho children of Is rael. Aiobster measuring SI inches in length and avoighlng 19Ji pounds was taken from a trap In St. Andrew's Bay, near Robbinston. Me., last week. The specimen will be pre pared by a taxidermist lor exhibition at the Vorld's Fair. On one of the islands off the coast of Maine lives a man, now 50 years old, who was born there, and ha3 never been off the island. Ho has accumulated a lortnne in the grocery business, and is content to live and die or. the seagirt acres. A tew years ago 40 pigs ran away from James Duval, near Novelty, Wash., and since that time the drove has increased to about 590, and is making the farmers very miserable by their frequent raids oh gardens. Some of their tusks are six inches in length. It is said that the practice of ether drinking in Ireland originated in the time of cholera, moro than 40 years ago, when :i quack" sold drams of ether as a preventive Finding the intoxicant:! pleasant one, the people continued its use alter ail need or excuse for It had disappeared. Some remarkably clever person in St. Petersburg has arranged and placed on ex hibition a clock with a phonograph attach ment, the dial of which is a human face, from whose uncanny mouth cotnes the an nouncement of the hours, as well as any di rections that may be loft with it. English capitalists are complaining at the number of steamers that are lying idle in that country. In the Tyno and Wear 233 steamers are tied up, while a great iraaiW are to bo found at West Hartlepool, Cardiff. Southampton nnd other ports. It is esti mated that altogether thero are COO vessels not in service. A heroic woman recently made a dan gerous journey into the province of Ya kutsk, in Siberia, in search of a plant which she had heard would cure leprosy. She rode on a Yakutsk horse with a wooden saddle) for two months without luningan oppurl. tunityto bathe or change her clothes. Shot found the plant she was hunting, but it doe3 I not cure the dreadful disease, although is eases the suffering. A scientist states that in the course of about 6,000 000 yeare from now the forces at work on the earta will have completely leveled its surface, so that there will no longer be hills or valleys, continents or dis tinctive oceans. All the land will have been avashed down into the sea, which will then, coverall with a watery mantle and render impossible any life except that which can exist without dry land. The University of Bologna had in 1250 A. T. about 10.000 students. Anatomy, galvanism and the circulation of the blood, were first taught here. Female professors were among tho most respected in the University. One, Movella d' An aria, was so beautiful that she lectured behind a curtain, "let, if her charms were seen, the students would let their young eyes wander o'er her, and quite forget their Jurisprudence." It has often puzzled the uninitiated to give a reason why musicians tune their In struments in public, and notbeforo entering the orchestra. If they tuned their instru ments before entering the theater or con cert room the temperatnre is very apt to bo different in the placo of performance, and therefore the instruments would not be in tune. A piano that is in tuna in a cold room would get outoftnneif the room were sud denly heated. Some queer little animals arrived in New York last week from Australia. They are called kangaroo rats, and resemble the kangaroo very much when aiewed through' the reversed end of a telescope. Their method of locomotion is the same as that of the kangaroo. "Tho females carry their voung in a pouch and their faces are very bright and pretty Thev were en roate to the Golden Gate Park, tho first or their kind evet sent to California. The development of the banana trade i an illustration of the marvels made possible by science, through modern carrying facil ities. Only four years ago a company pur chased 35 square miles of land In Dines, Cuba, then covereil with a c'onse forest and having only ten inhabitants. About half the land has now been cleared and 9,000 acres planted with bnnanas. Broad roads have been laid out. a town of 3,500 inhab itants has been created and nine steamers are kept running throughout the year to carry the banana product to New York. A large "official" envelope containing a blotter, two paper American flags and a picture of Morgan Backus, cashier of tho San Franci-co postofllce, has just finished Its tour around the world. Tho envelope was addressed to Backus at Calcutta, with Instructions to the postal officials there to forw ard the letter to Nice if it could not be delivered. From Nice it made a tour through Europe, going as far Eii.st as Tur key. It finally crossed the channel to Lon don. It next turned up In Ni-w York, and from there it was dispatched to its starting place. It is now kept as a postal curiosity. JUNE COMICALITIES. Uncle Felkins Funny sign they had up In my room la the city t'other night, sayla't "Don't Blow Out tlie Gas.', Wife What In the world did you do. Jeames? Uncle Felklns Do? Lett it burnla', ofcourse. Chicago Aeics Keotrd. She said she understood baseballt I took her to a match. And then she asked to spoil It an Is that a foul or catch?" .V. F. Herald. "Turned burglar, did he?" He did." "Was he ever caught?" "No. he was a safe burglar." F. Y. Press. Harry Where's Chollie these days? FredOh. hes taken a position In a swagger tailor shop as a cutter. Harry Why, h2 doesn't know the first thing about cutting a suit of clothes to fit. Fred Of coarse he doesn't. That's how he got the place. The tailor wants to make a reputation for turning out suits of genuine English at. don't you know. Detroit Free Vress. The lover swings on the old front gate And peacefully there abides. For the old man thinks he's a candidate. And crawls through the roof and hides! Atlanta Constitution. Ethel Have you asked papa yet? George No, not yet. Ethel Why don't you? George I'm going to write to him; It seems mors businesslike to semi In a sealed proposal. ieio Tort Herald. "John McDuffy, charged with vagrancy. What can you say ror yourself?" "Not guilty, your honor." What Is your business?" "A professor or bacteriology." "Ten doUars and 3) days bo visible measjof support." Chicago Acics Record. The day he gets in office " He'll remember all the uoor Remember that they're outside And say: "John, shut the doorl" Atlanta Constttaticn. "How are Tommy's grades at college this year?" "1 don't know yet. bat if they are as steep M bills are he will need to pat on the brakes next yf-tf or go off the track rhicar Inter-Ocean. Bl"HWl3"l,ls)MWsl.Ws!lslsHtl MBWiKisrBsssrWWPf JMlBBB
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers