wb&2 tp 20 perceived to be a foreigner, and W proved in Tact to be an Italian acquainted with no English word bnt my name, which he lit tered in a way that made it seem to include all others. I had not then Tisited his coun try, nor was I proficient in hi tongue; but as he was not so poorly constituted what Italian is? as to depend upon that alone" for expression, he conveyed to me, in familiar but graceful mimicry, that he was In search of exaetly the employment in which the lady be fore me was- engaged. 1 was not struck with'him at first, and while I continued to draw I emitted vague souDds of discouragement and dismissal. He stood his ground, however, not importunately, but with a dumb, dog-like fidelity in his eyes which amounted to innocent impu dence the manner of a devoted servant (he might have been in the house for years), unjustly suspected. Suddenly I saw that this very attitude and expression made a picture, whereupon I told him to sit down and wait till I should be free. There was another picture in the way he obeyed me, and I observed as I worked that there were others still in the way he looked wonder jngly, with his head thrown back, about the high studio. He miglit have been crossing himself in St. Peter's. Before I finished I said to myself: "The fellow's a bankrupt orangemonger, but he's a treasure." "When Mrs. Monarch withdrew he passed across the room like a flash to open the door lor her, standing there with the rapt, pure gaze of the young Dante spellbound by the young Beatrice. As I never insisted, in such situations, on the blankness ot the British domestic. I reflected that he had the making of a servant (and I needed one, but couldn't pax him to be only that), as well as a model; in "short I made up my mind to adopt my in sinuating visitor if he would agree to offici ate in the double capacity. He jumped at my offer, and in the event my rashness (for Young Daiite Spellbound by tier. I had known nothing about him) was not brought home to me. He proved a sym pathetic though a desultory mihistrant, and had in a wonderlul degree "the sentiment de la pose. It was uncultivated, instinctive; a cart of the happy instinct which had guided him to my door and helped him to Fpell out my name on the card nailed to it. He had had no other introduction to me than a guess, from the shape of my high north window, seen outside, that my place iva a studio, and that as a studio it would contain an artist. He had wandered to England in search of fortune, like other itinerants, and had embarked, with a part ner and a small green hand cart, on the sale of penny ices. The ices had melted away and the partner had dissolved in the train. My young man wore tight yellow trousers with reddish stripes, and his" name wa Oronte. He was sallow but fair, and when I put him into some old clothes of my own he looked like an Englishman. He was as good as Miss Churm, who could look, when required, like an Italian. I thoucht Mrs. Monarch's lace slightly convulsed when, on her coming back with her husband, she found Oronte installed. It was strange to have to recognize in a little Neapolitan cad a competitor to her magnifi cent Major. It was she who scented danger first, for the Major was nnecdotically un conscious. But Oronte ga e us ten, with a hundred eager confusions (he had never seen such a queer process), and I think she thought better ol me lor having at last an "establishment." They saw a couple of drawings mat l nad made ot the establish ment, and Mrs. Monarch hinted that it never would have struck her that he had sat lor them. "Now, the drawings you made from u, thev look exactly like us," she re minded me, smiling in triumph; and I rec ognized that this was indeed just their de fect. "When I drew the Monarchs I couldn't, somehow, cot away lrom them jet into the character I wanted to represent; and I had not the least desire my model should be dis coverable in my picture. Miss Churm never "was, and Mrs. Monarch thought I hid her, very properly, because she was vulgar; whereas it she was lost it was only as the dead who go to Heaven are lost in the gain of an angel the more. By this time I had got a certain start with "Rutland Ramsey," the first novel in the great -projected series; that is, I had pro duced a dozen drawings several with the help or the Major and his wile, and I had tent them in lor approv.il. 3Iy understand ing with the publishers, as I have already hinted, had been that 1 was to be left to do mv work in tni particular ca-e as I liked, with the whole book committed to me; but my connection with the rest of the series was only contingent. There were moments when, lrankly, it was a comfort to have the real thins under one's hand; for there ere characters in "Rutland Ramsey" that were Teryinuch like it. There were people pre sumably as straight as the Major and women of as good a lashion as Mrs. Monarch. There was a great deal of country house lite treated, it is true, in a fine, fanciful, ironical, generalized way and there was a considerable implication" of knickerbockers and kilts. There wire certain things I had to settle at the outlet; such things, for ln ttance, as the exact appearance of the hero, the particular bloom of the heroine. The author, of course, gave me a lead, but there was a margin for interpretation. I took the Mouaichs into my confidence, I told them frankly what I" was about, I men tioned in) embarras?ments and alternatives. "Oh, take himl" Mrs. Monarch murmured Eweetly, looking at her husband, and "What could ou want better than my wife?" the Major irquired.with the comlortable candor that now prevailed between us. I was not obliged to answerthese remarks, I wa only obliged to place ray sitters. I was not tasy in mind, and I postponed, a little timidfr perhaps, the solution of the question. The book was a large cum as, the other figures were numerous, and I worked off at first some of the episodes in which the hero and heroine were not concerned. "When once 1 had set them Up I Should have to stick to them I couldn't make my young mail T feet high in one place and S leet 9 m another. I inclined on the whole to the latter measurement, though the Major more than once reminded me that he looked about as joung as any one. It was indeed quite possible to arrange him for the figure to thpt it would have been dlfiicult to" de tect his age. Alter my young friend Or onte had been with me a month, and after. I had given him to understand several diff erent times that his Sazzarone habits would presently constitute an insurmountable bar rier to our further intercourse, I waked to to a sense ol his heroic capacity. He was only 5 feet 7, but the other inches could be luauaged. I tried liim almost eCretly at first, for I was really rather afraid ot the judgment my other models would pass on ucli a choice. If the) regarded Miss Churm ns little better than a snare, what would thev think ol the representation by a per aon'so little the real thing as an Italian street vender, ot a protagonist formed by a public school? II I went a little in fear of them It was not because tbey bullied me, because they had got an oppressive foothold, hut because, in 1'ieir really pathetic decorum and mys teriously maintained newness, they counted m me so intensely. I was therefore very glnu when Jack Hawley came home; he was alwavs ot such good counsel. He painted badlv himself, but there was.no one like liim "for putting his finger on the place. He had been absent frohi England lor a year; he had been somewhere I dbn't remember where to get a fresh eye. I was in a good deal of dread of any such organ, but we were old friends; he had been away for months and a seneeof emptiness was creep- c-HJ ppJ'- ing-into my lif- I hada'fc winced for year. Ttnraimirbakvrith a fresh, eve. bat with the same old black velvet jacket, and the first evening we spent in roy studio wo smoked cigarettes till the small hours. He had done so work himself, be had only got the eye; so the field was clear for the produc tion of my' own things. He wanted to sea what I had'done for the CJteaptiSe, but he was unable to recognize that I had gone much further. That at least seemed the meaning of two or three comprehensive groans which, as he lounged on mv big divan, on a folded leg, looking at mv latest drawings, issued from his lips with the smoke of his cigarette. " "What's the matter with you?" I asked. "What's the matter with you?" "Nothing, save that I'm mystified. " "You are, indeed. You're quite off the hince. "What's the meaning of this new fad?" and he tossed me, with visible irrever ence, a drawing in which I happened to have depicted both my majestic models. I asked if he did'nt think it good, and he re plied that it struck him as execrable, given the sort of thin? I had always repre sented myself to him as wishing to arrive at; but I let that pass, I was so anxious to see exactlv what he meant The two figures in the picture looked colossal, but I supposed this was not what he meant, inas much as, for aught he knew to the contrary, I maintained that I was working exactly in the same way as when he last had done me the honor to com mend me. "Well, there's a muddle some where," he answered; "wait a bit and I'll make it out." I depended, upon him to do so. "Where else was the fresh eye? But he produced at last nothing more luminous than "I don't know; I don't lite your tvDes." This was lame, for a critic who had never consented to discuss with me anything but the question of execution, the direction of stroke and the mystery of values. "In the drawings you've been looking at I think mv types are very handsome." "Oh, thev won't do." "I've had a couple of new models." "I see you have. They won't do." "Are you very sure of that?" "Absolutely." They're stupid." "You mean I am for I ought to get around that." "You can't with such people, "Who are they?" I told him, as far as was necessary, and he declared, heartlessly; "Ce sont des gens qu'il faut mettre a la porte." lou ve never seen tnem; tneyreaw fnllvgood," I compassionately objected. "Not seen them? "Why, all this recent work of yours drops to pieces with them. It's all I want to see of them." "No one else has said anything against it; the Cheapside people are pleased." "Everyone else is an ass, and.the Cfteapside people the biggest asses of all. Come, don't pretend at this time of day to have pretty illusions about the public, especially about publishers and editors. It's not tor such animals you work-it's for those who know. Keep straight for them; keep straight for me, if you can't keep straight for yourself. There's a certain sort of thing yputried for from the first and a very good thine it is. But this twaddle isn't in it." "When I talked with Hawley, later, about "Rutland .Kamsay, and its possible successors, be de clared that I must get back into my boat again or I would go to the bottom. His voice, in short, was the voice of warning. I noted the warning, but I didn't turn my friends out of doors. They bored me a good deal, but the very fact that thev bored me admonished me not to sacrifice them if there was anything to be done with them simply to irritation. As I look back at this phase they seem to me to have pervaded my life not a little. I have a vision of them as most ot the time in my studio, seated against the wall, on an old velvet bench, to be out of the way,and looking like a pair of patient courtiers in a royal ante chamber. I am convinced that during the coldest weeks of the winter they held their ground because it saved them fire. Their newness was losing its gloss, and it was impossible not to feel that they were objects ot charity. Whenever Miss Churm arrived they went away, and after I was iairly launched in "Rutland Ramsay" Miss Churm arrived pretty oiten. They managed to express to me, tacitly, that they supposed I wanted her for the low lite of the book; and I let them suppose it, since they had attempted to study the work it was lying about the studio without discovering that it dealt only with the highest circles. They had dipped into the most brilliant of our novelists without de ciphering many passages. I still took an hour lrom them, now and again, in spite of Jack Hawley's warning; it would be time enough to dismiss them, if dismissal should be necessary, when the rigor of the season was over. Hawley had made their acquaint ance he had met them at my fireside and thought them a blighted apparition. Learn ing that he was a painter, they tried to ap proach him, to show him, too, that they were the real thing; but he looked at them, across the big room, as if they were miles away; they were a compendium of every thing that"he most objected to in the social 6ysteni ol his country. Such people as that, all convention and patent leather, with ejaculations that stopped conversation, had no business in a studio; a studio was a place to learn to see, and how could you sec through a pair ot featherbeds? The main inconvenience I suffered at their hands was that, at first, I was shy of letting them discover that my artful little servant was Bitting to me for "Rutland Ramsay." They knew that I had been odd enough (they were prepared by this time to allon oddity to artists) to pick a loreign vag abond out of the streets when I might have had a person with whiskers and credentials: but it was some time before they learned how high I rated his accomplishments. They lound him sitting to me more than once, but they never doubted I was doing him as an Organ grinder. There were several things they never guessed, and one ol them was that lor a striking scene in the novel, in which a footman briefly figured, it occurred to me to make use ol Major Monarch as the menial. I kept put ting this'off, I didn't like to ask him to don the livery besides the difficulty ot finding a livery to fit him. At last, one day late in the winter, when I was at work 'on the despised Oronte (he caught one's idea -in an instant), and was in the glow ot feeling that I was going very straight, thev came in, the Major and his wife, with their societv laugh about nothing (there was les and less to laugh at) like country call ersthey always reminded me Ot that u ho have walked across after chutchand are presently persuaded to stay for.luuch eon. Luncheon was over, but they 'could stay to tea I knew ther Wanted it. The fit was on me, how ever, and I couldn't let my ardor cool and my work wait, with the lading daylight, while my model prepared it. So I asked Mrs. Moiiarch it she would mind laying it out a request which, for un instant, brought all the blood to her lace. Her yes were on her hus baud's lor a second, and some mute telegraphy passed between them. Their folly was over the next instant: his cheerful shrewdness put an end toil. Bo iar from pit vine their wounded pride. I must add. T ' was moved to give it as complete a lesson - . . ! s. . . ; as I could. They bustled about together and got out the cups and saucers and made the kettle boiL 1 know they felt as if they were n siting On my servant, "and when the tea was prepared I'eaid: "He'll have a cup, please he's tired." -Mrs. Monarch brohght him one where he stood, and he took it lrom her as if he had been a gentleman at a party, squeezing a crush hat with an el bow. Then it came over me that she bad made a great effort for me made it with a kind of nobleness and that lowed her a compensa tion. Each time I saw her after this I won dered what the compensation could be. I couldn't go on doing the. wrong thing to oblige them. Oh, it was the wrong thing, the stamp of the work for which they sat Hawley was not the only person to say it now. I sent in a large number of the draw ings I had made for "Rutland Ramsay," and I received a warning that was more to the point than Hawley's. The artistic ad viser ot the house for which I was working was of opinion that many of my Illustra tions were not what had been looked Tor. Most of these illustra ions were the subjects id which the Monarchs had figured, Without going into the ques tion ot what bad been looked tor, I saw at THE this rate I shouldn't get the other books to do. I hurled myself ia despair upon Mitt Churm, and I put her through all her paces. I not only adopted Oronte publioly as my hero, but cue morning whan the Major looked in toseeif I didn't require him to finish a figure for the CTuoptidt for which be had begun to sit the week before, I told him that I had changed my mind I would do the drawing from my man. At this my visitor turned pale and stood look ing at me. "Is he your idea of an English gentleman?" he asked. I was disappointed, I was nervous, X wanted to get on with my work; so X, re plied, with irritation: "Ob, my dear Ma jor I can't be ruined for you!" He stood another moment: then, without a word, he quitted the studio. I dipw a long breath when he was gone, for X said to mvself that I. shouldn't see him again. I had not told him definitely that I was in danger of having my work rejected, but I was vexed at his not having felt the catas trophe in the air, read with me the moral of our fruitless collaboration, the lesson that, . in the deceptive atmosphere of art, even the highest respectability may fail of .be ing plastic. I didn't owe my friends money, but I did see them again. They reappeared together three days later, and under the circum stances there was something tragio in the tact It was a proof to me that they could find aothing else in life to do. They had thrashed the matter ont in a dismal confer ence they bad digested the bad news that they were not in for the series. If they were not useful to me even for the CheaptuU their function seemed difficult to determine, and I could only judge at first that they had come, forgivinglv, decorously, to take a last leave. This made me rejoice in secret that I had little leisure for a scene: for I had placed both my other models in posi- , tion together, and i was pegging awav at a drawing from which I hoped to derive glory, it had been suggested by the pas sage in which Rutland Ramsay, drawing up a chair to Artemisia's piano stool, says memorable things to ber while she ostensi bly fingers ou. a difficult piece of music. I had done Miss Churm at the piano before it was an attitude in which she knew how to take on an absolutely poetic grace. I wished the two figures to "compose" to gether intensely, and my little Italian had entered perfectly, into my conception. The Eair were, therefore, before me, the piano ad been pulled out; it was a charming picture ot blended youth and murmured love, which I had onlr to catch and keep. My visitors stood and looked at it, and I said friendly things to them over my shoulder. They made no response, but I was used to silent companv and went on with my work, only a little disconcerted (even though ex hilarated with the sense that this was at least the ideal thing), at not having got rid of them after all. Presently I heard Mrsl Monarch's sweet voice beside, or rather above me. "I wish her hair was a little better done." I looked up and she was star ing with a strange fixedness at Miss Churm, whose back was turned to her. "Bo you mind my just touching It?" she went on a question which made me spring up for an instant, as with the instinc tive fear that she might do the young lady a harm. But she quieted me with a glance I shall never forget I confess I should like to have been able to draw that and went for a moment to my model. She spoke to her softly, laying a Hand upon her shoulder and bending over her; and as the girl, understanding, gracefully assented, she disposed her rough curls, with a few quick passes, in such a way as to make Miss Churm's head twice as charming. It was one of the most heroic personal services I have ever seen rendered. Then. Mrs, Monarch turned away, with a low sigh, and looking about her, as if for something to do, stooped to the floor, wtth a noble humility, and picked up a dirty rag that had dropped out of my paint box. The Major, meanwhile, had also been looking tor something to do, and, wander ing to the other end Of the studio, saw before him my breakfast things, neglected, unremoved. "I say, can't I be useful here?" he called out to me, with an irre pressible quaver. I assented, with & laugh that I fear was awkward, and for the next 10 minutes, while I worked, I heard the light clatter of china and the tinkle of spoons and glass. Mrs. Monarch assisted her husband they washed up my crockery they put it awav. They wandered off into my little scullery, and I afterward found that they had cleaned my knives and that my slender stock of plate had an un precedented surface. When it came over me, the latent eloquence of what they were doing, I confess that my drawing was blurred for a moment the picture swam. They had accepted their failure, but they couldn't accept their fate. They had bowed their heads in bewilderment to the perverse and cruel law in virtue of which the real thing could be so much less precious than the un real; but they didn't want to starve. If my servants were my models, my models might be my servants. They would reverse the parts the others would sit for the ladies and gentlemen and ther would dd the work. They would still be in the studio it was an intense dumb appeal to me not to tum them out. "Take us on," they wanted to say "we'll do anvthing." AVhen all this hung before me the afflatus vanished my pencil dropped from my haud. My sitting was spoiled, and I got rid of my sitters, who were also rather mystified and awestruck. Then, alone with tb'e Major dud hi wile, I-had a hiost Un comfortable moment. He put their prayer into a single sentence: "I say, you know jUst let us do lor yod, can't you?" I couldn't It was dreadiul to see them emptying my slops; but I pretended I could to oblige them, for about a week. Then I gave them a sum of money to go an ay: and I never saw them again. I ob tained the remaining books, but my friend Hartley repeats that Major and MA Mon arch did me a permanent harm got me into a second-rate trick. It it be true, I am con tent to hare paid a the price for the memory. The Esb. SKULL OF AN IRISH DEER. Remalps or Orie of the Giant Beasts Now Known Only In Tradition. Some weeks ago, says an Irish cotem porary, the workmen who are at present encaged in making the necessary excava tions on the County Antrim side of the river for the new deep-iwater branch dock lor the Harbor Commissioneis found the greater portion ot the skull of a large animal, which has been identified Deyond all doubt by experts as that of .he gigantic Irish deer (cervus giganleus). It is evi dently part ol a remarkably fine head, being equal in size to the largest specimens in the Kildare Street Museum, Dublin. This interesting discovery was made in a stratum ot peat about three feotin thickness, and at a depth of 24 feet below harbor da tum that is, 26 leet below ordinary low- water level in the River Lagan, which is close br. It lav, therefore, not less than oi it-et iruui fcue iircseiib natural Bunacc Ol the ground. This stratum of peat was also found on the County Down side of therive'r wheu the Alexandra Graving dock was being constructed a few years aso. It may' be ot some interest to note the curious vari ety ol strata found in these docks. Com mencing at the bottom there is a boulder clay, then fine red sand, then gt&v sand, next the thin layer ot peat in which the skull n as found, th'eu another thin layer of gray sand, next a very thick bed of estua rine clay, in which upward ot 15 varieties of fossils have been found, then a thin bed of yellow sand, and.on top of all a bed of clay and sand of recent formation. .... u. . .... i . -o Bow to Fat m i'oar Caffs. Not one mad in 60 kbows how to put on a cuff properly, says a haberdasher in the St Louis Olobe-VanoeraU The swell who but tons both his cufis on the same sfde thinks he's perfection, but he isn't. In other words, the cuff should he buttoned the same as the wrist band, left toward the left, right toward the right. Examine yours and you'll see what I mean. But if you really want to be proper you must wear link but tons, as they are the ones that give the proper shape to the cuffi PZCTSBim DISPATCH. BRAZIL'S BIS ,BELS. Yon Feel Like a Bloated Bond Holder With Fifty. Cents Worth. THE HARD .MONEY IS STILL WORSE. A Few Dollars' Worth of Change- Is All s Strong Han Can Carry. HALF CENTS USED TO DEITB NA1X8 ICORBISPOSDXMCX OF THE DISPATCH. 1 RIO DE JankibO, Bkazil, March 15. As in all countries where heavy duties are imposed on imported goods, Bio's port regulations are extremely rigorous and oiten vexations. All incoming vessels are required to drop anchor off Port Villegag non commonly known, as the "Pico" and there await the coming of the health and customs officials. Those gentlemen take their own leisurely time for it, and their -convenience must be awaited, however imperative your reasons for expedition. If the steamer happens to have arrived near the dinner hour (5 p. M. is the Brazilian rule for that most import ant meal), or near the fashionable time for promenading in the Rua do Ouvidor say an hour earlier or if a fiesta happens to be in progress, or one of the political demon strations so numerous in the new republic, no attention will be paid to it till some time next day, and meanwhile no commnhication whatever is permitted between 'ship and shore not even so much as a message to waiting friends or letters to catch an out going mail. Pleasures of a Quarantine. Should quarantine be imposed, as it is more than likely to be during seasons of epidemic, though there may not be a case of sickness on board the vessel is sent away back to Ilha Grande, 60 miles down the coast. There is no accounting for quaran tine regulations, especially in times of scare. "We experienced their unreasonable ness to the full a few years ago, when sail ing among the West Indies. Because our ship had passed a place where smallpox was raging though no passengers were taken on there, and nobody went ashore but the purser on his regular business we were not allowed to come within three miles of any port. Though not a soul on board was ill, we eould not visit Martinique, Barbadoes, St Thomas, nor any of the places we had come so far to see, nor send ashore for the longed-for home letters waiting in the Con sul's office, nor dispatch those we had written during the voyage. Passengers who must land were compelled to spend IS days at the quarantine station a pesthouse to which were consigned the leprous and dis eased of everv class and all nationalities, in which the chances were few tor a person who entered in perfect health to come out alive at the end of half a month. Sad Story rf a Pesthouse. Among our number was a charming French family, who had been visiting in Para and were coming to their home at St Pierre. Of course they were obliged to dis embark at Martinique; and a mournful pro cession they made husband, wife, four children and three servants, being rowed away to the desert quarantine island in the enstody of officers, like criminals, headed by the yacht of the Health Commissioner, with its significant yellow flag. Though the family were rich and influential and all In good health, nothing could save them simply because '.they happened to take Jiassage on a steum6rthat had stopped at an nfected port several hundred miles below the place where they embarked. A year later, happening to meet again the captain of the same steamer on a more fortunate voyage, I inquired after the quarantined familv. and learned with sorrow that the husband and three of the children died of yellow fever contracted at the pesthouse. About ten years ago the Brazilian author ities erected a Costly quarantine Station on Grand Island f Ilha Grande), and have cot their money back long ago, from the charges fixed by law, for their compulsory boarJers. The rates are as follows: First-class passen gers must pay 5,000 reis per diem for semi starvation or villainous food: second class, 2,500 reis; third class, 800 reis; children be tween 4 and 10 years old, half rates; and be tween 1 and 4 years, one-third rates. Charges for Disinfecting Ua;3j;e. Then all the baggage Is disinfected, the charges being 1,000 reis per kilogramme- and the ordinary Saratoga will weigh many kilogrammes. It is useless to protest that nothing is the matter with your luggage and you don't want it disibfected it must Undergo the process, or be dumped into the bay, and you must pay for it all the same. In cases of merelv quarantine "observa tion, wuicn is usuauv trom zi to 48 hours, the vessel is required to anchor off Jurn juba Point; but that is no hardship if one's business Is not urgent, for the glorfous view amply compensates for beihg com pelled to endure sea food and a stuffy state room awhile longer. After permission ha been given by the autocrats of the Custom House for free practique with the shore, .the mails are first disembarked) and then the steamer pro ceeds to the upper anchorage, where the passengers and their luggage are dis chaiged. Customs officials are at once put on board, who remain night and day at their posts until the steamer is again ready for sea. All baggage is directly sent td the Custom -House, uhcre passengers can claim it at any time between 9 a.m. and 3 p. M. Nothine can be passed on board without special permission, not even your handbag or shawlstrap. How to Preiervo Nrve Tissue. It is a wise plan to pack the few things heeded for a day or two into a gripsack and leave the trunks to their fate until you are established in a hotel and equal to engag ing In the customary wiestle at the Cues, One should remember that passports are re quired, both on entering add leaving Brazil, and no steamship company is permitted to sell a ticket to a foreigner until his pass port has been properly viseed at the Central police statiom For this no charge is made, thoush the passport cott a dollar at the De partment of State In Washington, and an other dollar lor the Oath before a notary that you are not eoraebody else a specimen ot "red tape" equal to that which compels needy females who are so fortunate as to se cure "a $75 clerkship in Uncle Samuel's Treasury to make oath (and pay 16r the same) that they have "never borne arms against the government" Recently Rio's police authorities have adopted a regulation requiring a consular vise beiore their own, and this involves slight expense. There is also a port regulation which forbids any communication with vessels in the harbor alter 8 Pi M. without a special permit. Therefore, it vou are unacquainted with the Portuguese language and have gone ashore merely tor a lobk about town, yott had bet ter keep an eye on Vour watch and not put faith in the rosy lights that linger long on the mountain tops alter the sun has disap peared unless you want to spend some un comfortable hours in prison hud require the services of the United States Consul in the morning; and meanwhile' the ship may sail away without you. tlrlil tp by the boatmen. Passengers will find no difficulty in find ing boats to take ihem ashore, for as soon aS a steamer stops it is surrounded by them like files around ft molasse3 barrel. The Rio boatmen 'drive a roaf lag trade at all seasons, aud it is bne of their humorous practices' td land tiissehgers for a model-ate sum and then retiise to take 'them back un til the" helpless travelers have, in effect, l.-orifrrrt lit them a' dhattel MnMrr.lOn fit' all the worldly goods of which they stand at that moment possessed, "fne" boatmen have the best Of It every time", btelflg In league with' one another, especially when their victims have aeted-as passengers gen- . SUNDAY, APEIti JO, erallydo, and stayed on shore until the very last minute before the ship la to sail. The common price, each way, is 2,000-reis, though two passencers are often carried on the one fare. The law reonires all boats to be numbered and registered, as are all the pnblic vehicles and carregadorcs (porters) in the city, and it is well to male a note of these in case of any misunderstanding shall arise. While we lingered on the massive stone dock that lines the water front of Rio, we noticed a curious steam yacht close by, painted white, with open galleries and a strange flag flying. We wondered with languid interest what it could be, bnt did not Inquire, there being none out iroriu-guese-speaking people at hand. Dancer In an Unusral Forsa. Presently an ambulance drove down, to it, and a litter, with a sick man on it, was hauled out by some uniformed persons and put on board. Everybody fell back with a most surprising show ol respect, (every body but.oursefves, we wanted to see what was going on), utter silence fell for a mo ment upon the noisy throng, and I thought within myself that I had never seen wharf loafers display so little intrusive curiosity. Was it some member of the Toyal family some noble but invalid relative of the late Doin Pedro going out tor an airine in his private yacht? Just then the purser, look ing somewhat pale, came hurrying up. "For heaven's sake," he cried, "why didn't you get out of the way when that thing went by?" "What thing?" we innocently asked. "Why the hospital yacht, to be sure, loaded down to the guards with smallpox and yellow fever." The first place on shore that a foreigner generally seeks is the establishment of some money-changer, in order to convert his American gold or English sovereigns, or the coin of the lost country he visited, into the "circulating medium" of Brazil. And very mnch astonished will he be when the changer hands over a huge pile of metal copper, brass, iron and nickle, that looks use old pewter plates, stove lids and tne ponderous brass tags that landlords some times attach to door keys to prevent them from being carried ofTcln the pockets of their patrons. A Few Dollars Are a Bis Load. A very few American dollars, exchange added, when converted into the currency of this country, requires a cart, rather than a pocketbook, in which to take it awav. Brazil still adheres t9 the old Portugese system of financial euumeration.'in which it takes 2,000 reis to make what we call half a dollar, the word "reis"being the plural of real. When reis are at par, 100 of them are worth about 5 cents American money. What a hard time of it Brazilian book keepers must have ot it, witbthelong lines of figuies which represent the ordinary com mercial transactions of a banking or mer cantile house. For example, a real, the unit of the monetary system, is written 05001 and is equal to the value of one twen tieth of the United States cent There is no such coin in circulation, the smallest be ing 10 reis. There is a copper coin of 40 reis, and nickle coin of 100 reis, and another of 200 reis. Next comes the paper money in notes, of 1,000 reis, called milreis. There are 2 milreis, 5, 10, 20, SO, BO aud 100, to a maximum of 500 milreis, numerically ex pressed this way 500?000. Then there is an imaginary denomination named a conto, which means l,OOo milreis, and is expressed on paper ltuuus. The par value ot the paper milreis is equal to about 54 cents American money, but ot course it varies with the times. On the day of the revolution, No vember 15, 1889, it was at par, and has never been since. A while atro it was down to 17 cents, and to-day is up to 20 cents. Financial Figures That Stagger One. A copper coin of the old monarchy worth half a oent still circulates largely iu North ern Brazil, which is fit only to use lb driv ing nails, or for paper weights, being alto gether too heavy to carry in any pocket Though they lay around ever so carelessly nobody ever steals them, being too burden some to get away with. On inquiring the price of living at an hotel you are at first amazed to find that it is so many milreis per diem and are absolutely staggered when the laundry bill is presented in six figures. Fancy a full proportioned bank note worth 5 cents 1 It takes eight of these hun dred milreis bills to pay for a horse-car ride out to the botanical gardens and back. In course ot that rather long drive yob will observe that the conductor's pockets and the breast of his coat bulge out more and more with these bank notes, till br the time he is oppressed with 1 50 he looks like a Carelessly stuffed scarecrow. One of the bills closely resembles the "greenback" that is so dear to our souls, and has engraved upon its back, sides, mar gin and four corners the satisfying figures 500. The possession of a few of these makes one teel like a bloated bondholder until he learns from sad experience how little they will buy. Dom Pedro's Faes Is Everywhere. This Brazilian greenback bears the words, "Quinhentes Reis, Itnperie de Brazil," and an excellent likeness of poor Dom Pedro, as does nearly all the paper modey of the country, though even the bilious looking flag, all green mold and yellow fever color, with its cross of the Order of Christ arid the Riilifre of the old Portugese explorers. has chauged somewhat since the monarchy was murdered. , Speaking of these deceptive bills reminds me of a story that is told of a late United States Consul to Batiia, Brazil, which is worth repeating. As the departing' Consul stepped aboard the Steamer he handed to his "tenderfoot" successor dne of those tempting looking "500" bills. "Take it, take it," he said with svmpa tbetic feeling, when the other wbuldhave rejected so much proffered wealth. "Set tle with my creditors, If I leave any be hind, and never mind about the change. Just treat the boys in my name whenever they call aud keep my memory breeh." It happened that a lot of "'the boys" dropped in that afternoon, atid the joke cost the new Consul the value of a pockety ful of those bills, they being worth at the time exactly 23 cents each. So far as, I am aware there is but one cur rency ttt the world more infinitesimal than that 'of Brazil, and that is the antediluvian small shells called cowries, which circulate as money in Africa and India a cowrie be ing equal to about one-fiftieth ol ah Ameri can cent. Fannie B. WAEd. ABOUT SIZES OF BOOK. Helen Watteraon E-xplains What Has Puzzled BTany a YoUng Reader. The thing that misleads people as to the size of books as set down in lists of cata logues is that the smaller the book really is the larger the number that designates it, writes Helen Watterson. A book described as 8vo is smaller than one spoken of us 4to. These figures denote the number 6f times the sheet of printing paper is folded into hook leaves, and are not at all any real measurement of the book. An 8vo or octavo is a book made up of sheets that are folded into eight leaves; a 4to or quarto is one that has its sheets folded into four leaves. It will readily be seen that the latter would be larger than the former if1 the sheets were of the same size to begin with. But the fact is that these descriptions are only approximate, for books to-day are made in every variety of dimension. Unc rarely finds a folio now except in editions de luxe or atlaces. the quarto is not common, as it usually makes a page the size ot tin un abridged dictionary too latge td be bandied easily. The octavo is bigger than most books, as it usually measures abobt 10x" inches. The l2mo 'is a common size, meas uring about 8x0 ihches, or a little les&, a8r cording to the size ot the Unfolded sheet. The ldurt tiook is, as. is generally put Out, about 6x3)4, inches; the 18m6, a trifle Smaller, 5x3 inches Most of the publishers Uotvadays make their books of proportions lb suit them selves, with little reference to the old Stale ol'measuiemenis. .Red and blncic ants will leave your honse anil never lfcturh tht liistriU you Sm'iriklb n. ltttlo Btiglhe iu -the DlatFes they fiedUeitt tS cents. , " ' 188a JOKES-BY BDRDETTE. Tax Populi, Lex and Veritas, -Bbyraed Into the Wastebasket, ADVICE TO A- NEEDT PARSOff. Quip j and Foibles of the Race Shown Up in Kew and Novel Ways. A GREAT HOHORISrS FHU0S0PHI IWEITTXK TOR TRX DISPATCH. Tb Old Wastebasket. In tho darkest nook of the dingy room. In the deepest shade of the twilight gloom, In the morning bright and the evening dim. It frowned from, its corner, cold and grim, And always hungry: Its month so wldo Was split like a robin's at dinner-tide. The old wastebasket I TVe fed It amain. But Its hunger was ever a deathless pain. Wise old scholars, gaunt and gray. Fed it statistics for many a day, And old ' "Lox, Vox Populi," "Beader," and Filled up its maw by quarts and pecks; And dainty noems, when sorrowing Jove Rhymed with the plaintive and cooing dove; Bright "Hopes'1 and "Visions" and ".Rever ies" rare, And young "Ambition" and old "Despair," Heart throbs that pulsed with a woe sub lime. But spelled by ear and limped in rhyme; And humor that laughed with Its latest breath like a galvanized grin on the face of Death; Fierce Anger, that glared with eyes of flame. And stopped its paper and owed for the same; MS. by the cord, the yard'and the pound, Their way to the old waste basket found; All that came to his mill was grist He'd grind it up with a shake and a twist, And open his mouth as wide as before, And whisper, with fearful calmness "More!" Oh, friends, send Bnssla, in Christian zeal, The white wheat flour and golden meal; But send us, we pray you, essays Jong, Speeches eloquent, argument strong. Send us whatever MS. you've got. That the good wasteba3ket perish not. For, should he die, 'twould be the end Of the editor's dearest, truest friend. For him wonld he mourn with scalding tears, And dress in crape for a thousand years. Gets What He Wants, The Eer. William J. Undercrust writes from Lower Falls, JCan.": "I have been a preacher of the gospel for 32 years. I have no more money now than when 1 began my ministry. I have never received in all that Waiting for Hi) Neighbor. time a larger salary than 800 a year. And when I read in the papers last week that Cranby DIgby, the grotesque dancef in the 'Mountain Cow' combination, gets 00 a week for his legs it discouraged me." Well, we can't see why, parson. There's nothing disheartening in that. Yon could make nearly as much as that, maybe quite as much, if you tried. You could get (600 a week if you reached for it. But that's all you'd get; just $600 a week. It would make your ministerial bookkeeping very easy, parson. When it came time to 'die rod could balance your books very easily! just multiply the number of weeks vou had preached by 5600, and you'd know "just ex actly what your preaching had been worth to yourself, and the church and the world. But now, yott see, you can't estimate your salary just to a hair. Go back to your pul pit, parson; ink the seams of your shiny old coat a few years longer; trim yourollars and cuffs with the scissors When they get too scratchy for mortal man to stand any lobg er: and don't you worry about (600 a week. You can get that any time, if ypu are will ing to pay tne price tor it. More Political Chicanery. Talk about gerrymandering. It is now charged that the Republicans have fixed the State of Rhode Island so that they gain an other alderman in both wards. A Constitutional Weakness. "I hear that young Sport failed in his Latin examinations at college." r "res; made a dead flunk on his nouns; that's bis weakness; he never could decline anything." 'Pott rioc "Do you consider drunkenness a disease, dector?" "I Certainly da" "Well, do you think it is contagious ?" "I Should say so; if a man goes home drunk, sOnifebedy catches it every time." Imposslb'e if Trne. Becent dispatches from the frontier say that the Indians "on the Arizona reserva tions are putting on their war paint. What? In Lent? The heathen; they're worse than the girls. AVhy doesn't somebody tell them they can't go to war Until after Easter? The Humah Voice. We have seen it Stated sorrievvhere that George Whiteficld.the Jrreat Methodisf.dnee prtaehed in the fields to a crowd Of 20,000 people, and that his powerful voice reached Somebody Oattlut a. with clear distinctness the ears df every man 1 iu the multitude. We believe it without a struggle. We have hsard a boy 11 years old shliek to another boy standing on the opposite side bf a trip Hng Six feet in diam eter id n tone that would have Wade Gebrge Whftcfield stop preaching arid ask the boy white he go his trdents, What a blessed thing it is, wbata-strlking illustration of the infinite wisdom of Providence, that the human voice does not grow and develop pro portionately with the human body. Take a baby three wekki old; hear it proclaiming to acity of 35,000 inhabitants that it is not feeling very well to-night Now just fancy that infant s power of vocal utterance grow ing day by day for 25 years. The imagina tion recoils. Recoils? It is paralyzed. A Perfected Sign. "When yon see a bright red spot make its appearance on your toes.young gentleman," said the professor, "it is an unfailing indi cation that you will have corns." "And when the red spot comes on your nose, professor?" ''It is a -sign that you have had 'em," gravely replied the professor. "It is al ways toe same sign." The Ins and tho Onta, "Yon know what an editor does with a bed?" queried Lawyer Torts. "I do not," replied Editor Scrawl, the journalist "He lis in it," replied the lawyer, with hlsteady wit. "And yon know what a lawver does with a will," retorted the editor. "J do not," replied the lawyer, denving everything from force of habit "He lies out of H," said the editor quick ly, whose natural force of stinging repartee continued unabated until its sixtieth year. Sixtieth year of the same repartee, that is. The Fell Destroyer, Time. "But, my friend, continued Prof. Stay later, earnestly, "I must close. The time allotted me has already expired, but I bare not exhausted the subject" "No," mbnnured the dying janitor, who had remained at his post, though all but He Pound Her Vecidtdtj Negative. him had fled, "but you hare exhausted everything else." And it was so; not only in that instance, but in manv hundred thousands of others. Go to the hackman, thou lecturer, con sider how he runs the sands through the hour glass every 40 minutes, and be wise. As long as the longest. "How do they know the moon is 200 Miles from the earth," demanded Tommy Doubter, "there ain't no tape line so long as that." "I guess maybe they measured it with the pension list," said Billy Longbow, whose father lost two months' pay in Sutler's charge at the siege of Bear Wayback. A Bloltltdde of Counsellors. Bedlead (the artist) Mr. Kewtenant, I'm all ready to begin painting your house now, if you'll tell me what colors you want Mr. Kewtenant (timidly) Well, I don't just exaetly know; the neighbors have been able to hold Only two meetings, and they can't come to an agreement about the colors yet, and some of 'em don't want it painted at all this year. Sufficient Pains Taken. Mr. O'Conomi This coffee" is weak as dishwater, and I should say it just tasted about like it What under the canopy do yon do with it? Mrs. O'C. (busts into tears) It's the same we've been using all month. I dry it every day myself, and you couldn't tell it had ever been used I don't know what makes it so weak. (Rises and flies to her mother. Peace in the house. Later Beturns with her mother; house in pieces). Saved by a Fall. "Haifa loaf is better than a whole one," remarked Stonihart, as his young wife's first baking fell out of the oven and broke the hearthstone, Difference 6f Opinion "Miss Sayso Is the most positive girl I ever Met," said Jack Plain, "she never has an opinion about anything; she Just knows, and that settles it" "I don't know about that," replied Ben Kruht, dubiouslv, "I found her decidedly negative last night. She wouldn't even be a sister to me." A Man Worth Cnltiratlne. "Prisoner at the bar," and Judge Up right spoke with unwavering sternness," have you no defense to make? "None, Your Honor," replied the guilty man, his lips quivering. "You confess, then, that you killed this man by beating him with a coal shovel?" "I do," replied the prisoner. "Why did you do this awful deed?" '.because I tound htm in my cellar, "But didn't yon know that he was the gas man, taking the figures' off the meter?" A terrible struggle convulsed the pris oner's features for a moment, and then he said: "I did." - "Prisoner," said the Judge, calmly, "yott are a Victim to emotional Insanity aggra vated by cerebral disturbances of the sensa tory functions which induce hypnotic cere bratton Of the ganglia. You am discharged, and I want you to come dnd board at my house until the 10th of next month." ' A Ijdsf Opprirtdnlfy. Coroner's juries are the stupidest things in the World. Here a man down in Mary laud choked to death on h gnarly dried ap ple one day last week, and the iury missed its chanrt of bringing in a verdict ot death from appleplexy. You cah't teach a jury anytning. Not Mnch of a Chance, After All. If they succeed in cultivating the banana in the vicinity of Mobile, they are going to change the name of the State to Alubauana. Alabama means: "Here we rest;" the new name will nifeari: "Here we go." Still, as a fellow usually rests a little alter he goes on a banana, the chailge in meaning will not be sO violent at at first appears. BOBEKT J. BURDETTE. A I"ct bont fcosewootl. Many people suppose that rosewood takes its name from its color, but this is a mis take. Rosewood is not red nor yellow, but almost black. Its' name comes from the fact that when first cut it exhales a perfume similar to that of the fuse, anil, although the dried wood of commerce retains no trace of this early perfume, the name lingers as a relic of the early historv df the wood. Where the Horsnhiiiei Go. Some idea of the extent of the baseball cfHze may be gleaned iroui the fact that as mahy as 2,d00 horsehides 'are used in Phila delphia alone in the rnahufiuUure of the lnrist costly kinds of baseballs, and that there are very few leftover whehthe lesson fends; " aefga-" ' PATENTED BY WOHHf. Novel Thinpfs fo Which the Sex Ha3 Applied Its Inventive Genius. THE EECOED FOE PENNSYLVANIA. Hoopskirts, Corsets, Bustles, Etc., Have Been Fiather Neglected. WHAT THE ETE0NG MINDED HUN TO rWBITOS FOR TOI DISPATCH.! It has been frequently asserted that women have no inventive faculty and the world likes to believe it; yet from actual official returns women go right on invent ing. It is encouraging to notice that there is at least one man who recognizes this talent in women, and if "gallant Mr. Biely" shall have his way with the hill he has so kindly introduced in Congress, then will women as inventors have a fair provision made for them at the World's Fair. Being curious to know jnst what kind of showing in this line of head-work women were likely to make and particularly what share of the glory Mr. Biely could claim for the women of his State, I have taken the pains to look up what women have in vented and am surprised to discover that they have tqken out patents on pretty much everything from a shoe button to a telescope. Indeed, I find the very first submarine telescope wa3 invented by a woman, Sarah P. Mather, in 1843. Long before women had thought they dare aspire to the profession, 'before they had been ad mitted to practice in the courts of justice, granted the privilege of the clinic, or been licensed to preach the Gospel, they were exercising their inventive genius, since that required no license. City Women Helplne Country Sisters. As early In this century as the ninth year there was a patent granted to a woman for a machine that would weave straw with either silk or cotton thread. Prom this one of that year the number with each succeed ing year has rapidly increased until thou sands of patents have been granted to women, and every State in the Union has its representatives. City women lead country women and women in small towns in the number of inventions. This would not, perhaps, be worthy of remark were it not that city women have largely invented appliances useful especially to country women and which one would naturally ex pect country women to first discover the need of, and that out of the need would spring the invention. New York State outnumbers by many hundreds other States in the number of patents granted to women-, 646 having been taken out since 1809. Massachusetts is next, while Pennsylvania ranks third. Two hundred and forty-seven patents have been granted to women of our State Thirty-six have been taken out during the last three years. Of this number, Philadelphia has furnished nearly one-half. Of these, Marie E. Beasley, famous for having invented a machine for turning out complete barrels by the hundreds, has been granted no less than ten patents. Besides the best known and most generally employed appliances for making barrels, she is the patentee of a life-saving raft, a machine for pasting shoe uppers, a steam generator, and other useful appliances. What Srron;-3Ilndrd Women Invent. The women of Philadelphia are stylish or nothing, and in the number of their inven tions they have not overlooked anythinz that would in their opinion improve upon their personal attractiveness. They do not pose as being particularly strong-minded, but since it has been done by the women of Massachusetts, and especially those of Bos ton, it is not without point to notice that out of nearly 300 patents granted the women of that State, two-thirds have been im provements upon corsets, hoop-skirts, bustles, hair-curlers; in short all such flum mery in the line ot wearing apparel, and the balance, with the several exceptions I shall name, were taken out on various good and useful things growing out of household thrift To the renown of our sisters of that State, let it be known, the first fountain pen was the invention of Susan S. Taylor, of East Cambridge. And let Helen L. Macker have due credit for an improvement in alloys to imitate silver, and Annie M. Getchell a process for hardening copper. But the greatest achievement was that of Miss Margaret E. Knight who invented a complicated machine for making the useful square-bottomed paper bag, and refused $50,000 tor the patent, and who has since invented another machine that does the work of 30 pairs of hands in folding these bags. Coming back to our own State, though Philadelphia women began by taking out a patent On corsets in 1862 afi'd the last vear closed with Ida C Mnstin patenting a com bination under garment, in the intervening years among other things patented, both interesting in the way of being useful and scientific, were the following: Inventions of Pennsylvania Women. A rail for ornamental fence, granted to Elizabeth M. Stigale; to Victoria Quarre Wedekind, an improvement for engraving on copper; to Elizabeth CConnor, improve ment in beehives: to Sarah Butb, Sunshade for horBes; to .Mary A. E Whitner, im- firovement in stereoscopes; to BXary F. Sal ade. improvement in platting machine; to Louisa F. Sleener.lmorovement in detachinjr horses; to Ella I. Haller, a patent on a selt lightlng lamp, and to Lillie Tubus, a cutoff for hydraulic and other engines. Fittsbunr and Allegheny have swelled tho list with nsetul and time and lahor savins improvements.and with thn smile exception of a patent taken out by Hirriett Z. SHI on a cosmetic compound, nothing inconsider able has been patented by them. Emily E. Sassey, of l'lttsbnrg, is the pat entee of an improvement In syphon propel ler pumps: Elizabeth Holt, improvement in packings for pl3ton-rod; Ella Alaratta, coal vault ftratinR, whilo Amelia H. Lindsay has patented a rotary engine, by which samples of their Inventive genlns It may be inferred that the women of fittsbnrg are content to trttsf to Tanfeee improvements npnn all ap pliances lor perreetimr and mrtkins easier their own labor,while the3-sweat their own brains for the betterment of th mannfac tnlins industries of their city. In this they are abetted by their Allegheny isters. Knodn L. Sinclair, of that citv. has patented a car wheel and a method or filling the re-ces-es in the tread ot car wheel?. Christina Bescs has patented a car seat and a limb supporter for car seats. Tast'S In Allegheny Connty. Bnt not a boop'klrt, coiset.flJtiron orhair crimper fins been patented by a Romania all that region or country. As a mere mention of what other Pennsyl vania women have invented. Betsy Ann tyorden, o- Scranton, has an improvement In car-couplings: Savllla II. Crump, of Read in(r. hiii patented a thing' so gruesome as a corpse cooler; Emily E. Tasey, of McKeea port. Improvement In apparatus for raising sunken vessels: Elizabeth Delonir, of Stooo Church, a patent on "team and fume boxes Dora Hirsh, or Lancaster, r car-cnunlins de Vice, while Annie K. i'entz, of Clearfield, has invented and patented a tocfe car; Mrs. Arnlstrolig ha invetited a machine for feed fns cattle on trains. Let it be remembered that It was Mrs. Kathciine Green, wife of General Nathaniel Greene, who undoubtedly invented the cot ton b'. though to liersecondhmbandcrecllt Is due for her ever having linived the ridi cule she leared and claimed nn Inteiext in it. Another wom.in has imented a method Of convertingn b.inel of oil into ten thou and cubic fret of aas; anot ler one, a super ior street-sweeper: another. A 9crew-cr-.nk for stt-anHhips, and, not thu least In Import ance, it w as a woman who Invented the very first Ice cream trcezor. This patent was taken out by Mrs. Nancy Johnson In M3, but the report falls to show the State that furnished this Important woman. Mrs. Natiey was, however, less wise than some of her sister Inventors, for She sold her patent for" $1,500, since which tittle thousand have been r-alized upon It. Helen Blanchard, or Boston, realized ait irntnne lortune on osewiujt machine at tachment. Another woman ot S15000 for her patent oh a baby carridee. Xi.oe are Snly a row or very many women whoso rains have been their fortune alonC the line of inventions. Kiar TEiiri.E-BAT.uiB. ; ..i,; A A I - 'J.f J I S-1 - J. fm&.m&s?mmm LS ' .'..... - - - - '. .- V
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers