r3 ai -jpra "pSryr W?PSp If v G3?i yrsj-js,: p. stCTpaft--,. "ggSFSTfTC-F W9yScWjyf58gPS 1WBgl&QXW; -mpm' . - " THE PITTSBURG- IflSPATCH, THUBSDAY, JANITAET 29, I89L. 5S Is- W- St IK HJte BipaXcg. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY S, 1846. Vol., Jvo.XO -Entered t Pittsburg rostofflce, November 14. 15)J, as second-class mutter. Business Office Corner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street TASTER?. ADVEKTISIM OFFICE. ROOM 1, TKIKUNE KUILDIXU. EW YORK, where complete flics ot THE UISPATCH can always be Jound. Foreign advertisers appreciate the con venience. Home advertisers and friends of THE Ilbl'ATOH. lille iu iew York, are also made welcome. THE IDISPATCH is reguJmly on sale at JTrcntjito's. 5 Union Square. Ji'eio York, aid 17 ui'-c de ropeia, Paris, France, where anyone v!w Jiat been dtsapvointcd at a hotel newt stand can obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rosTAnn it.ee is the united states. J'atlt DisraTcn. One Vear t JO? Datlt DisrATcn. 1'er Quarter I"0 Kaily Dispatch. One Month n Daily Disi'ATcn. Including bunday, lyear. 10 00 JlAILY lilFPATcn. lnclndlnr Sunday.Sm'ths 250 JtAILY IiPATCU. including bunday, lm'th 90 mxDAY HisrATcn. One ear S50 "U ehkia MsiMTcn. One Year. 15 The I) ily DIsr-ATCn Is delivered by carriers at ;'cent 1 er week, tr Including bunday edition, at I cents per week. PITTSBURG. THURSDAY, JAN. 29, 189L NAKED LAMPS AND OLD WORKINGS. "What agony, sorrow aDd suffering has been caused hy the Mammoth mine ex plosion is partly told in the dispatches from there giving the details of rescue, identifica tion and preparation for the burial of the victims. But the anguish of those left to mourn for their loved ones can only be esti mated by those who have suffered similar bereavement Though the miners dwelt in bumble cottages and their families are left desolate, the heart-aching sorrow is just as intense as if they had lived in palaces. It is this which makes the calamity so awful to contemplate. In due time the responsibility will be fixed by the proper authorities. At present there is nothing to shake the conclusions al ready drawn by The Dispatch. There could have been no doubt the naked lamp v-as used by the miners at the time of the accident, and all information is to the effect such lamps were used in that mine habitually. Whether an abandoned cham ber was broken into or not is a matter yet to be demonstrated, though the circumstantial evidence in support of this assumption is overwhelming. Officials of the company in this city say if the naked lamp was used it was in contradiction to their orders, and there is no reason to doubt their word. As a matter of fact, the miner rebels against the safety lamp at all times when he is not directly informed of the presence of the explosive fire damp. The little "coffee jot" lamp is so much lighter and more con venient than any safety lamp that it is al ways preferred by the workmen. That the use of this lamp was permitted by the mine boss is evident. Just where the prohibition of the company ended and the permission of its agents began is a matter yet to be deter mined. The one thing about it which stands out most prominently is that the people of the coke region look on the use of the naked lamp as a matter of course, instead of re garding it as an Infraction of the most relia ble rule of safety. The inference is that these lamps are used at many other places, and detective working plans are likely to infringe on other abandoned chambers, with just such frightful results as those at the Hill Farm and Mammoth mines. Surely this should not be. Years ago the miners asked for laws to compel operators to provide safety lamps and these laws are now on the statute books. The companies have all posted rules prohibiting the use of the naked lamp. There is need for the enforce ment of law and rules. There is need that the miners be taught that danger is ever present in the shaft, and that it is doubly dangerous in a region full of abandoned workings. And there is need that agents of the companies, in charge of work, should realize what their neglect to enforce rules may lead to. THE PIPE LINE BILLS. Apparently all the same elements are at work: for the pipe line bill, recently intro duced in the House at Harrisburg, that tavored the passage of the same measure four years ago. At that time the Knights of Labor and the labor unions joined hands with the oil producers in urging the passage of the bill. The Knights have again de clared for it, and it is known the Grangers also favor it The prospects of the bill are brighter than those of the old bill at the Fame stage of the proceedings, for at this stage the Billingsley bill was undergoing amendment to permit the support of the oil producers themselves. The bill before the Senate is also advo catey by many producers, though the House bill has the prestige of the support of the Producers' Protective Association. There is no conflict between the supporters of the two bills. The difference is that the Senate bill does not lower charges as the House bill does. It will probably pass the Senate without serious opposition, and should the House bill fail of passage in the Senate could readily be passed by the House. There is no reason, however, why both branches of the Legislature should not heed the man ifest will of the great majority of the people and pass the Burdick bill as it was intro duced. THE HERETICAL SENATOR. The agitation at Harrisburg over Cam eron's heteredoxy is quite distressing. For many years Don was the idol of a numerous class of party-workers. A cold idol, to be sure, and one not easily approached, but still held in the higher estimation for not being easily accessible to his following. Suddenly, it is discovered that the recent object of party homage is filled with saw dust. From present surface signs, one might suppose that none in the party was left so poor as to do him reverence. But tbese signs, after all, are not to be taken too seriously. The present indigna tion of Cameron's late backers is too ex uberant to be lasting. THE CALIBER OF SOME CONGRESSMEN. A rather remarkable illustration of the inability of political leaders to keep up with the march of events, is furnished by the in terviews with Pennsylvania Congressmen on the subject of the ship canal. Of the five representatives of Pennsylvania with whom interviews were obtained three, or a majority of them, stated that they "had not given the subject any especial attention." It is the fact that a still larger number of the representatives of Pennsylvania were unable to say anything at all on the matter because they had not studied it enough to know what to say about it This, if our political leaders did but know it, is most humiliating confession, A pro ject is before the public which is of the most vital importance to the industrial interests of Western Pennsylvania. If carried out it means an almost infinite expansion of all our industries. It gives a water connection from the lakes to the Gulf of Mexico by way of the Ohio and Mississippi and is the first step in a system of internal improvement that would secure the benefits of water transportation to every Eection east of tho Kocky Mountains. This enterprise has been before the public for the two years that have elapsed since the Legis lature of Pennsylvania appointed a com mission to investigate its practicability. On the other band, is a proposal to put $100, 000,000 of Government credit into building a ship canal in a foreign country. Yet among the representatives of Western Penn sylvania, the prosperity of whose districts is most intimately involved in the enterprise, only two hive given the subject enough at tention to express an opinion about it Of course if Western Pennsylvania Con gressmen will pay no attention to projects that will increase the prosperity of their constituents, Congressmen from other parts of the country need not be expected to know anything abont the ship canals. The average Congressman is too busy over parti san squabbles to give any notice whatever to enterprises for improving the transporta tion and developing the industries of the nation. A TALE OF TWO INDUSTRIES. A comparison of coal production and con sumption, by the Philadelphia Press, has led that journal to recognize a fact of the ut most industrial importance. Twenty years ago the national consumption of coal was 32,863,000 tons, half produced by the anthra cite mines. Since then, in addition to the growth of population, railroad building and iron making, a great share of the population have, by the exhaustion of the forests, been compelled to change from wood fuel to coal. The result is last year the total consumption of coal in the United States was four and a half times that of 1870, or 145,000,000 tons, while the output of anthracite was 36,000,000 tons, or not quite two anda half times as much as 1870. To make the contrast clearer, the out put of bituminous has increased nearly 600 per cent, while the output of anthracite has increased about 140 per cent, or less than a quarter as much. This contrast between expansion in the two branches of the industry is so radical thas it is well worth attentien, especially of those interested in the anthracite indus try. The Press says bituminous coal is cheaper, more accessible and more easily mined. But this explanation will not serve, as the result from the same risk and labor is greater in mining anthracite than in min ing bituminous. The bituminous miner is probably better paid lor bis work and haz ard, at 70 cents per ton, than the anthracite miner at one dollar; but if the ton of bitu minous contains 500 heat units, the ton of anthracite will yield nearly 1,000, making the actual fuel power produced by the labor o the anthracite miner about 30 per cent cheaper in cost of mining, than the bitu minous. This leaves unsettled the grave question presented by the Press in the following forci ble language: If the output ot anthracite bad grown In tbe last twenty years as bituminous bas. tbe mines in this State would be turning out 100,000,000 tons a year, or full thrice their prodnctlon for last year, when the mines were only worked about 70 days, or half time. Such a production would have doubled the wages of all engaged in anthracite mining and made a season more prosperous than any in war times. But neither the combinations of labor nor tbe agreements of capital, neither unions nor pools, can main tain wages or protect profits during twenty years in which the anthracite coal mines have sunk from supplying half tbe coal needed in the United States to furnishing between a fifth and a fourth. The way in which the anthracite industry lags behind the bituminous cannot be at tributed to an exhaustion of the anthracite deposits. That field, like the Pittsburg bi tuminous district, is practically inexhausti ble for generations to come. Onr Philadel phia cotemporary comes close to the real cause in commenting on the economic blun der of working miners on half time; but as as it also speaks of "opening mines in ex cess of the needs of trade," it is legitimate to conclude it does not recognize the real cause, of which the half-time work is only an incident The real reason of the difference is that since 3870 combination has had complete sway of the anthracite indus try. It has prevented competition from cut ting down the prices of coal, and the charges for transporting and distributing it, to tbe level ior which general enterprise is willing to perform such services. On the other hand, the bituminous industry has been opened to competition, making its prices encourage the expansion of trade. It costs no more to haul and handle a ton ol anthracite than a ton of bituminous; yet the combination policy has maintained freight charges on anthracite double those at which the bituminous roads do a profit able traffic. Extend the same excess of charges through tbe entire operation or handling and distributing anthracite coal, audit is no longer a wonder that prices have kept its growth far below that of bituminous. If the same competition had prevailed in the anthracite industry asin the bituminous, the mines which the Press speaks of as in excess of the needs of trade would not have more than supplied the demand at cheap ened prices. Tbe economic waste of capital and labor kept idle half the year wonld have been avoided. The superior heating power of anthracite coal would have commanded a wide market for it The blaBt furnaces in the anthracite regions would not have been compelled to transport coke hundreds of miles in order to produce pig iron at the market prices. In short, the statistical con trast the Press bas brought out is a telling illustration of the restrictive and strangling effect of the combination policy, compared with the expansion and prosperity that at tend upon legitimate competition. THE STANDARD'S EXCEPTION. The need for reforming one notable method for gouging the outside public in stock spec ulation is pointed out by the Wall Street Daily News, which hopes that the Stock Exchange will either abolish unlisted stocks or shut out all the trust stocks about which full information is not given the public It declares that the exchange does not want any more of the Cotton Oil, Lead Trust or Sugar Refineries, which are notably "used for making a private profit for insiders at the expense of the outside public." One ex ception to this rule of fleecing lambs.by the trust stocks is noted by the iVetci.as follows: Tbe managers of the Standard Oil are en titled to credit for anhonest proceeding In that when some one began trading In the stock, tfioy wrote to tbe Governing Committee of the Block Exchange, explaining that they made no reports to tbe public, and they did not wish to become a party to trading which might subject tbem to tbe snspicion of desiring to work the market They had reached tbe point when they could make enough money without pick ing tbe pockets of outsiders through the' me dium of the Stock Exchange, So much of credit is undoubtedly due to the Standard. But possibly it is well to bear in mind that in the contrast between that concern and its imitators allowance must be made for difference iu circum stances. The Standard id the one trust whose monopoly in its peculiar line has so far been able to withstand all efforts to es tablish legitimate competition. It has, therefore, been able to mate all tbe money it wants without trying to enhance its al ready gigantic profits by playing thimble rig in the stock market with its own certi ficates. Moreover, when there was any necessity of making a turn off the specu lative public the petroleum exchanges were open to it, until the lambs in that field were so closely shorn they could yield no more fleeces. Under these circumstances it is not altogether an incredible act of forbear ance that it should avoid the hazards of making its certificates a football of specula- I (inn in Usn "T(- 1 The circumstances of the other trusts have been different Their ability to squeeze the public by means of their monopoly has been limited and in some cases transient In view of the vital necessity of getting hold of tbe people's money, by some means or other, is it strange that they should resort to thimble rigging tbe stock market with their own shares? It may be questioned whether it is much worse for them to squeeze the specu lators of Wall street than for the Standard to do the same with the producers and con sumers of petroleum. Still, we are -willing to accept the full significance of the above statement and re joice in the discovery of one method by which the Standard might have fleeced the outside public but did not do it POOR FARM SITES rLENTT. Offerings of sites for the city Poor Farm are quoted much freer than last summer with a decided downward tendency. Pro posals in answer to the last advertisement were opened yesterday and it was found that a total of 28 farms were offered for sale. No one suspects any deterioration of land values hereabouts yet these proposals indicate an unprecedented fall in the price ot rural real estate. One farm offered last July at 5800 an acre is offered now at $400 an acre and others in about the same proportion. As the private demand for such property is as brisk as ever the natural conclusion is drawn that owners of elligible sites were willing to "put it on the city's eye," or, charitable thought, have been panic stricken at the idea their real estate, in its present soft and sticky condition, may be carried away from them before spring. TIMELY RELIEF. Labor leaders in this city and the coke regions have shown commendable ardor in starting the work of relief for the destitute families of tbe victims of the Mammoth mine explosion. A majority of the men killed were married. Tbe mines have only been partially operated for some time, and preference has been given the married men in tbe allotment of work. The necessities of these bereaved families are urgent Very few of them have any store of worldly goods at all. The sorrowing widows and the fatherless children must be fed, clothed and sheltered. Subscriptions will be opened in this city and elsewhere throughout the re gion, and tbe contributions should be prompt and liberal. Every man sur rounded by his family and enjoying health and strength may give to tbe fund a thank ottering that be has been so much more for tunate than those poor miners. Every miner will give to the families of bis dead comrades as he would have others give to his dear ones under like circumstances. So the relief fund will grow. May it grow rapidly and abundantly. The Chicago World's Fair enterprise turned its first spadeful of earth this week. It is hoped this is an evidence that it will scratch gravel for the next two years more actively than it has been doing for tbe past year. Speaking of tbe decision of the Supreme Court of New York sustaining a Justice in bis refusal to issue warrants on tbe demand of a society for the enforcement ot criminal law, the New York World says that "the District Attorney's office and the Police Department are the proper and sufficient agencies for the enforcement of criminal law." There is no doubt that these agencies should be sufficient to enforce the laws, as that is what they are paid for. But a moderately careful perusal of tbe columns of tbe New York World for a short time is calculated to raise a doubt in the in quiring mind whether they actually are suffi cient. The Bepnblican leaders in the Senate may find a certain degree of consolation in the fact that if the force bill had not been side tracked Senator Morgan's eloquence would still have been running along. Australia is now putting herself for ward as the world's champion In divers things. Her pugilists are coming over to this country and exhibiting an address in knocking out our sluggers which causes even tbe great-Mr. Sulli van to confirm his affection for dramatic art Her oarsmen have challenged the world with success. It is even intimated that she is about to demonstrate ber ability to leave onr trotting horses behind the distance flag. Her election laws are tbe cynosure of our reform ers; but in one respect Australia cannot rival us. She can never hope to produce anything equal to onr politicians in their own peculiar line. One of the reasons why the Pennsylvania politicians are so much worked up over Cam eron's voto is that it has inflicted irretrievable damage on our own Dick Quay's reputation as a political prophet Fob the inquiry whether Pennsylvania is now a Republican State, which the President has been firing at visitors from the Legislature to tbe White House, they should have referred him to the election returns. The policy which tbe President swears by has turned such States as Kansas, Iowa, Indiana and North Dakota into the Democratic column: but it has not yet done so with Pennsylvania. Perhaps tbe Presi dent is trying to make the operation complete. The claim that the Indians should not be left to go hungry is met at the Interior Depart ment by the conclusive reflection that if they are not hungry -some of the politicians will have to be. The familiar assertion, that the Pennsyl vania law prohibiting tbe sale of oleo is in con flict with the inter-State commerce law, is heard again In connection with the agricul turists' meeting at Harrisburg. Yet the hope may be expressed that people will learn in time that tbe Inter-State commerce law has nothing to do with It and that the original package de cisions are based on tbe conflict of the State law with tbe Constitution of tbe United States. It is a pity the air shipmodel exhibited in City Hall the other day Is not larger. The gentlemen of the Department of Awards might have used it while inspecting the Poor Farm sites. No stronger evidence that the Con gressional Record is not abreast with the prog ress of dally journalism is needed than its failure in the report of Monday's proceedings to note that tbe elections bill dropped with a "dull thud." There is little-hope for the rejuv. enation of tbe Record now that Charles A. Dana's Senatorial boom is in tbe list of "have beens." According to the new fashion in busi ness gambling, quotations in Calcutta exchange will be daily necessity until silver legislation gives us a daily quotation of the premium on gold. This report that Robert Bay Hamilton may not be dead coming up just when there was a prospect that the family might be for gotten for a little time, gives rise to the horrible suspicion that Era bas designs on the stage. The naked miner's lamp is making good Its title to be considered, an agent of wholesale destruction not second even to the deadly car stove or the fire-trap tenement bouse. Speaking of putting the wires under ground tbe reports of the past few days from New York indicate that notwithstanding all tho municipal fights ot the past Jew years on that subject, there were a large number of wires in New fork City that did not get there. ow that Bobert Bay Hamilton's death has been called into question the enterprising press agent proceeds to locate him in every re mote Quarter of the globe. The Senate remains a deliberative body. But the offensive Democratic partisans in the House are daily given to understand that their jubilation is to be modified by the fact that the Hon. Thomas B. Reed's term as Speaker aoes not expire until March 4, 189L The passage of & day without & row in either branch of Congress brings home to our minds the sad fact that the fun of the session is over. If Senator Cameron had never done any thing worse than to vote for laying aside the force bill, for necessary public business, he could confidently count on the approval of all sensible men who do not place partisanship above the public interest PERSONAL PABAGBAPHS. Miss Mart Garrett, of Baltimore, has a bath In her home lined with Mexican onyx that cost 56,000. Dr. Galljnqek, of New Hampshire, will be the only physician in the Senate of the United States. Couht Von Moltee compels all the mem bers of bis household to spend at least an hour each day In the open air, even if the rain be pouring. . Prof. Felix adler will shortly resign his position asIecturer for the Society for Ethical Culture and go to Germany, where he will en gage in similar work. Extas Howe, Jr., who was worth 11,000,000, was tbe richest private who served in tbe war. He enlisted in Bridgeport Conn., in 1S62. At one time, when supplies were low, be paid tno two months' pay of bis entire company. Comtesse be Matlit-Nesle, one of the prettiest of Parisian women, is a blonde, with an elegant figure and a queenly carriage. Her hair is of liquid gold, ber.eyes are blue and she is an accomplished artist and musician. Mrs. Julia Ward Howe has been Presi dent of the Boston Woman's Club for SO years, and during that long period has never felt any desire to have the manners and customs of State House debate brought into her meet ings. Isabella If., ex-Queen of spatn, is) a fat ana waddling old lady of circus-like girth, who seems to have forgotten all the vanities of the world and to be devoted to works of charity, tbe appreciation of Parisian dinners and the needs of a good partner at the whist table. General A.T. Goshobn, of Cincinnati, who has been in New York for several days, has expressed tbe opinion that the Chicago Fair will be whipped into working shane by 1883. He went over the grounds very carefully, and his opinions are those of an expert, since he was director general of the Centennial Ex position. Mrs. Kate Chase Spraoue is hard at work on that much-looked-for life of ber father. She is still young looking, and, with ber mag nificent manner, taste in dress and brilliant conversational powers, a decided favorite in society. Meanwhile, Governor Sprague veg etates at Canonchet and is happiest when trad ing horses or swapping stories with the boys on tbe beach. Cardinal Mahnixg is 82 years old one year older than Gladston -. His face is thin and bloodless, bis eyes sunken and tbe wrinkled skin is colorless. His kindly blue eyes twinkle merrily and a pleasant smile occasionally re lieves the ascetic look of his countenance. He is more than ordinarily tall, his head and shoulders stoop and he is somewhat deaf. He receives visitors in a plain black silk cassock, with a red silk cap. HOT WANTED. Neither the 'People Nor Republican Party Desire the Force Bill Passed. St Louis Globe-Democrat Hep.l The action of the Senate yesterday in voting to take up tho apportionment bill emphasizes tbe fact that the Federal elections bill cannot possibly be passed. At the same time, it signifies that tbe closure rule will not be adopted, unless some new and unforeseen contingency shall arise. Tbe champions of tbe former measure are responsi ble in larce measure for tbe delay that has oc curred in the legitimate and necessary work of the Senate. They have insisted upon keeping their pet bill under discussion against the wishes of the people and the interests ot their party. Their sincerity is not to be questioned, but they have certainly manifested a very poor or der of wisdom. The result of tbe last election was in part a practical notice that the country did not want this bill passed. That notice should have caused the prompt and final postponement or rejection of tbe measure as soon as it was reached. Its prolonged discussion has only tended to obstruct tbe public business and to prevent the enactment of laws that the peo ple desire and have a right to expect Now that it bas been again put aside, it is to be hoped that its friends will see the propriety of letting it remain undisturbed for the rest of tbe session. SILVER KILL TOTE. The House Coinage Committee Endeavor ing to Arrange for One. Washington; Jan. 28. Immediately after the House Coinage Committee was called to order this morning the question of when a vote on the silver bill should be had in com mittee was raised. A delegation appointed by the Boston meeting was present desiring to be heard. Mr. Bland, of Missouri, asked unani mous consent that a vote be taken on the bill next Wednesday. The Boston delegation conld bo beard and he would be willing to come here every day for a week if necessary, but there should then be a vote. Mr. Walker favored hearings and Mr. Bar tine thought there should be some agreement to bring tbe measure before the House. Along discussion ended in the adoption, by unaml raous consent of a motion made by Mr. Bland that tbe committee proceed with the bearing to-day and meet again to-morrow. H. L. Hlg cinson, banker, of Boston, then addressed the committee in opposition to free coinage. Forecasts Industrial Revolution. New York Telegram.l In the deliberate judgment of The Pitts burg Dispatch, the success of the Adams direct process for producing open hearth steel seems now to be "demonstrated conclusively." In that event the United States can cheaply turn out a grade of metal superior to the best which comes from Swedish furnaces, and this fact forecasts an industrial revolution of far reaching effect One Which Should Not Bo Tried. Richmond Dispatch, Bern. J Tbe most sanguine advocate of the bill to provide for free coinage of silver ought to ad mit that he is supporting a measure which can not be considered otherwise than as an experi ment Tbe laws of finance are not as well un derstood as some other laws. DEATHS OP A DAY. Mrs. Elizabeth Mullln. Mrs. Elizabeth Mullln, aged 76 years, died yes terdav at her residence, No. a Chestnut street. i Allegheny. Bbe was the widow of Michael Mul- iin, sua iwi uuujuc v. ji.-. Vi a uuuua store at the above number. Bliss Isabella Hill. Miss Isabella BUI' died yesterday at the age 0I7B years at her residence. Ho. 829 Cedar street. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. The great drawback to religion is the fact tbat the creeds are working at cross purposes in leading ns up to the foot of the Cross. Confidence breeds carelessness without a doubt A burnt child dreads tbe fire, but de ligbts to play with it Tbe red danger attracts, the bright blade whose slightest touch would sever the slim cord of life fascinates. We like to picnic under the shadow of the avalanche and see bow close we can get to the abyss. Safeguards are considered tbe first time we dare the dangers, but successful flirting with death veils our eyes so we cannot see tbe signals, and sooner or later the mass above slides down, the foot slips, the flame shoots out the sword falls, and tben some sleep while some weep. Men timidly and tenderly toy with thegiantforces until such time as they believe they have mastered tbe monsters. Then tbat familiarity which breeds contempt crowds out care, neglect takes tbe place of caution. A loose screw grows looser, a corroding grub openly gnaws a vital part, a seam widens. But friendly association has corrupted good judg ment and the calamity that could have been averted comes with a crash, but the noise will not arouse the giant's old guardians nor drown the cries of the groups who gather there. The drivers of the swift steeds want to go swifter, the climbers want to go higher, the delvers want to go deeper, the force seekers want to find a greater power. They shake hands with Death every morning, pass bim with a nod every day, and bid bim good nigbt every evening play with the fire, fin ger tho sbarp tools, see tbe sun shining on the avalanche, watch the grub gnawing at the giant's vitals and smile. Down in tbe pit tbe heroes of toil go daily, love in their hearts, a kiss on their lips, a. lisbt on tbeir beads, a pick In their hands. Between tbe shifts a seam opens and death enters the black-columned chambers of the mine. Confidence in its past parity, familiarity with its dark passages, long association with its dangers has bred thought lessness. Tbe naked lamp meets the deadly damp and the harvest is Death. Confidence bred carelessness, added a horror to the long list multiplied the widowed and tbe fatherless, made hearts bleed and heroes strive. Tbe Watorloos, Plevnas and Gettysburgs of Toil might have been averted by less confidence and more care. But the closer to death we go the further off it seems the greater the risk tbe lighter we treat the danger signs. Mortok evidently believes It's a poor rule that won't work both ways. THEquestonof the hour: How many pieces of silver did Don Cameron get for betraying his party? Checker players are not the least bit afraid of draughts. Palace car tourists will object to legislative regulation of dining car fare. The mean temperature conld not be meaner if it tried. What is the difference between a barricaded thoroughfare and a basement entrance? One is nary a way and the other is an area-way. Inoalls is not a farmer, but he has reaped what he sowed jnst the same. Whom the people would destroy they first burn in effigy. The Game of Life. This world is not a paradise, A place all milk and honey. But it's considered rather nice By those who have the money. Hence this makes life a gambling game; If you're not pat you bluff, And if you win the rest exclaim, "That fellow has the stuff." The business man will take a band, So will the speculator. Likewise tbe chap who tills the land, Also the legislator. No matter if the cards are stacked. And cheating plain enough. The one wbo wins is not attacked. Because he has the ".stuff." The game's exciting, play runs high, Gold, fame and love are staked; Tbe winners laugh, the losers sigh. Still thirst for wealth's unslaked. Go where you will, by night or day, Where life is smooth or rough. If you're a winner they will say: "Tbat fellow has the stuff." It's shuffle and deal For woe or for weal; On tbe caids you hold Stake life for gold; How the devil grins When tbe best man wins I The proof of the pudding of to-day Is the name of tbe maker on the can. Laws tbat can be broken in the name of Justice work an injustice and breed contempt ible criminals. If tbe human family was not Inquisitive, housekeepers would not have to spend so much for window blinds. The absent-minded man cannot mind his own business. The Wood's Runners wbo cremated Don Cameron evidently believe he earned hisashes. Chicago has staked its reputation on the World's Fair, and drove tbe first stake on Tues day after notifying property owners on tbe site to pull up stakes. And now the sink makers have decided to sink tbeir differences in a pool. They should make connections with the sewer pipe men. When is a street car patron like a Congres sional contestant; When he's unseated. 5Tou can always get tick for a telegraph message. If a rich man's dndish son wears corsets he is merely compressed heir. Inoalls should draw some consolation from tbe fact tbat the man who will fill his shoes wears socles. When it comes to the barbed wire trust the public should remember tbat it is useless to kick against tbe pricks. The sole hope of tbe poor lies m the fact that salvation is in the main free and heaven be yond the reach of land grabbers. DOS' Cameron is acting as if he fully real ized tbat this is his last term as Senator, The world would not be out of sight after a blizzard if the wires were. Why are some ot the bills before the Legis lature like horses? Because tbe carry riders, of course. The human body is the onlyjiiece of mechan ism that goes broke. , The bitter end of life is the spoiled portion of it. The man wears tbe kids and tbe wife carries them in ber arms or pushes them in tbe per ambulator. THE sealskin will soon be placed where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt and where thieves cannot break through and steal. When is a girl like a cigar? When she wears a wrapper and is placed to tbe lips. The briefs In the Bering Sea case will be any thing but brief. A qreat many measures introduced in Con gress and the Legislatures can appropriately be called play-bills. They are intended to amuse the public Old maids must have 'been very hard to please in their young days. The individual with a warped judgment seldom looms up. Modern lawmakers tax the patience of the public as well as Its resources. The Bellamy kitchen but In Illinois is in' the soup. Too many cooks spoiled the broth. . The Bierbauer case is annoying tbe baseball managers now as much as beer does when the boys are playing ball; The racket abont Don Cameron's ears may eventually silver bis hair. The granger statesmen of "bleeding" Kan sas are of the opinion tbat she bas been bled long enough. Judging from the usury bills they are framing. Bald-headed men have to submit patiently to the combing down process. Willie Winkle. THE WISES MUST 00. Sunday's Storm Has Demonstrated the Cheapness of Underground Cables. New York Tribune. It must be acknowledged that the loss and Inconvenience inflicted on the community sug gest consoling reflections. Pedestrians who have floundered through the labyrinth of wires and all whose business has been impeded by the Isolation of the city are recompensed in some degree by the hope that the electrical companies have learned at last from this un precedented disaster tbe lesson which most of them have persistently neglected to learn hitherto. It Is pretty safe to say tbat a feeling of mild exultation pervades even benevolent bosoms at the thought that overhead wires have now given a conclusive and enormously expensive demonstration of their unfitness to exist The cost of renewing what a single storm de stroyed in a few hours would be, to put it cau tiously, tbe interest on a vast Investment in underground channels of communication. It is a great victory for the subways, and a scath ing rebuke to those wbo are responsible for making a wholesome and beneficent statute ridiculous. Ignorance, neglect parsimony, tnckery, defiance of public sentiment and wil ful disobedience of the law have finally pro duced results which may possibly convince all concerned that it would have been profitable as well as decent to take an opposite course. A New College President. Cleveland. Jan. 28. William Gay Ballan tine, Professor ot Greek at Oberlln College, was elected President of the college this morn ing to succeed Charles S. Falrchllds. TEE OBGULOTJS SEKATOBS. Public Business Again Resumed In Spite of the Opposition. New York Herald. The orgulous majority in the Senate declared tbat the minority obstructed the legitimate business ot tbe session. It was a palpable and malignant falsehood. The naked truth is tbat tbe minority have been engaged in obstructing tbe Republican at tempt to inaugurate a new period of disorder and civil war. The Democratic minority are the conservative element of the Senate. They demand that the customs, traditions and usages which have gov erned them for the last hundred years shall not be tampered with; that debate shall be con ducted after the manner which has made tbe Senate a dignified, a deliberative and useful body. The Republican majority on the other hand, are both radical and revolutionary. They would uproot and destroy freedom of speech; they demand tbat the presiding officer shall not recognize a Senator who first gets the floor if he happens to be a Democrat, but shall arbitrarily ignore him and give tbe preference to any Republican. AQAUfST DISCEIMINATI05. A Decision by the Inter-State Commerce Commission. Washington, Jan. 23. The Inter-State Commerce Commission to-day decided the case of the New York Board of Trade and Trans portation vs tbe Pennsylvania Railroad Com pany and 23 other railway companies, involving questions of discrimination made and prefer ence given to foreign merchandise shipped npon through bills of lading from foreign ports to points of destination in tbe United States, through ports of entry in tbe United States, or ports of entry in a foreign country adjacent to tbe United States, over other and similar mer chandise carried from such ports 'of entry to such points of destination in the United States. The complaint was sustained by tbe decision of the commission against tbe Texas and Pa cific. St Louis. Iron Mountain and Sonthern, Louisville. New Orleans and Texas, Illinois Central, Wabash, Southern Pacific, Union Pa cific, Northern Pacific, Baltimore and Ohio, Lehigh Valley, Canadian Pacific and Grand Trunk Railway companies. May, hut Probably Will Not Boston Globe.l Camilla Flammarion, in the last number of the Arena, says we know much more about the poles of Mars than we do about tbe poles of tbe earth. The people of Mars, then, may be sup posed to know more about tbe poles of tbe earth than we do ourselves. An eminent Italian astronomer thinks tbat tbe wise beings of Mars, by means of great geometrical figures uplvtbe surface of their planet, are trying to estabTxh communication with the earth. So we may gtc news of the North pole yet by way of Mars, Fooling Away Time Seeking Appropriations St. Louis Globe-Democrat Rep. The Panama Canal scheme Is dead. Tbe gentlemen at the head of the Nicaragua project should beware lest their suspicious conduct delay or kill tbat enterprise. Well Hardly Ever. Savannah News.1 Lately labor appears to be coming la for a great deal of picturesque and ideal proposed legislation that is never enacted. COMING AHD PASSING EVENia With its splendid scenery, newand novel ef fects and elegant cast "Good Old Times" will be at the Grand Opera House Monday evening. It is the latest dramatic success of Mr. Wilson Barrett and Hall Calne. A specially fine piece of artistic work is displayed In the last scene, when the moonlight shines iu the Little Bush Inn and the fire-flies are seen flitting from bush to bush. Tbe New York Commercial Adver tiser says: "Good Old Times," the combined work of Wilson Barrett and Hall Caine, pro duced at the Fourteenth Street Theater last night, by the Brooklyn Park Theater Company, is a thorough-going drama, and was an all around success. Colonel Sinn may be con gratulated on the general excellence of his company of players. "The Hustler," a farce comedy that comes heralded as one of the brightest andjolliest plays of its class, will be made known to local play-goers at tbe Bijou Theater next Monday night Tbe skit Is a satire on apartment house life in New York, and offers many opportuni ties for fun-making. Rarely, if ever, bas so capable a company been employed in farce comedy as tbat which is seen In "Tbe Hustler." The list of comedians includes John Kernel), Dan Mason. Gns Mills, John 8. Marr and Lee Harrison. Such talented and popular singers and soubrettesas Mollie Thompson, Victoria Walters, Georgie Lincoln. May Cleveland and Carne Horton scintillate in the production. Among tbe special attractions are Mile. Stac- cione. the only rival of Carmencita in the Span ish dance; a contingent 01 uaiety Theater skirt dancers, and tbe famous Boston male quartet HOYi's newest farce, "A Trip to Chinatown," comes to the Duquesne next week and elaborate preparations in the way of special scenery and effects are being made by Manager Henderson's corps 01 artists and mechanicians. Tbe new Hoytesqne fabric of nonsense is said to be one of the best this fecund and versatile farceur bas yet turned out He bas taken tbe hypochondriac as his central figure with amus ing results. There are. of course, in the cast numerous clever comedians, lots of music and specialties and tbe usual bevy of pretty and cbic soubrettes. Tbe sals of seats and boxes opens this morning. Mr. David Henderson Is rather annoyed at the announcement tbat Comedian Jerome, of tbe"U. a Mall," originated tbe songs and "gags" used with humorous effect by Eddie Foy in the "Crystal Slipper." Mr. Jerome, so Mr. Henderson says, wrote one song for Mr. Foy. Mr. H. claims all the rights, as he pur chased the copyright THE Wilbur Opera Company, now playing a successful week at Harris' Theater, will remain for next week at tbe same house with a dally change of bin. The "Night Owls," Bobby Manchester's ex cellent burlesque company, will be at Harry Williams' Academy next week. SOCIETY'S GAYETIES. Brilliant Wedding in Allegheny A Neat Home Marriage Ceremony MusIcaJes and Other Entertainments Concerts and Amateur Theatricals, Past and Coming. When the familiar strains of Mendelssohn's wedding march burst in melody from the pipe organ in the First M. P. Church of Allegheny last evening a pretty bridal procession entered. The bride was Miss Jennie Slviter. daughter of Henry Slviter, and the groom J. Harmar Kates, a rising young business man of tbe city. Tbe brldemald'lwas Miss Emma Kates, a sister of the groom, and the groomsman was A. Pollock. The ushers were Mesrs. Thomas Slviter. William Pierpont. Earl Kates, Francis Sivlter, Clark Stewart and Albert Kates. The bride was attired in a stylish gray travel ing costume trimmed with velvet and gold cord; a Parisian toque and a bouquet of bride roses completed the pretty toilet The bride maid was gowned in blue silk, and carried pink roses. About 300 guests witnessed the ceremony, which was performed by Rev. Mr. Cowl, owing to tbe sndden illness of tbe bride's father. Mr. and Mrs. Kates left Immediately on a wedding trip, but will be at borne on Thursdays after Februarys. HTXTLY m HIS EHT. The Hoosler Poet Delights an Audience at Old City Hall. James Whltcomb Bileyis always amusing and entertaining, but be was unusually so atthe entertainment given last evening, at Old City. Hall, under the Press Club auspices. Erasmus Wilson, a a neat little speech, introduced the noted man to an audience already familiar with bim. and in a receptive mood, as the generous applause given all his efforts proved. Mr. Riler rendered "Poem In Hodden Grav," "Dialect Studies," "Character Sketch." "A Story," and "Studies In Child Character.' all of his own composition, and some of them new to the Pittsburg public. The musical part of the programme was an important feature, ana five young ladies went home with the plaudits of tbe listeners ringing In their ears. Miss Margie Wilson, of the Pittsburg Female Col lege. Miss Grace Bradley. Pennsylvania Fe male College, and Miss Nannie Hammer, Cnrry TJnlvcrsitywere tbe soloists, and Misses Emma Woelfel and Hattle Nicbol were the pianists. Tne next regular lecture of the series will be by Sergius Stepniak. the famous Russian Nihi list and exile, Friday evening, February 6. A LITEBAEY AND MUSICAL TBEAT To Be Served at Curry University Hall To-Morro-rr Evening. A delightful entertainment will be given to morrow by the members of the King Literary Society of Curry University, at University Halt The programme consists of musical and literary recitations, and will conclude with a comedy in two acts, entitled "American Fasci nations." As outlined it is as follows: Kirst Part Music, under the direction ot Prof. Carl Maeder; opening address, L. Lewis Todd; recitation. Miss Adlum Mllligan, vocal solo. Miss Nannie Hammer; essay. Miss May Campbell; society journal. Miss Esther Miller; music, under the direction of Prof. Carl Maeder. Second Part "American Fascina tion." Cst Viu;o;rd Ralston, Mr. W. O. Ara stcr: Chauncey Oglethorpe, Mr. L. Lewis Todd; Lady Guinevere Llandpoore, Miss Cora A. Harris: Mrs. Ondego Jahnes, Miss Gertrude Glbboney;&terra Rengallne, Miss Nina Mll ligan. Luncheon by a Ladles' League. Luncheon by the Ladles' League of St. Peter's Church is always balled with delight bv business men and tbe multitude at large, and the lecture room of the church will present a cosmopolitan scene from, 12 o'clock noon until 2 F. 3r. to-day, a a luncheon will be served dur ing tbat time. Tbe samo will be repeated to morrow. The School of Design Exhibition. Cards are out for the annual exhibition of the Pittsburg School ot Design for next Hon day afternoon, from 2 to 5 o'clock. The public exhibition will open on Tuesday and continue during the remainder of the week. Some ex cellent studies will be on exhibition, including, of course, tbe medal pictures to be decided upon at the examination to-day. A Varied and Pleasing Programme. The first entertainment for the benefit of tbe G. K. Musical Club was given last evening, at Orpheus Hail, and the success attending it augurs well for the future entertainmentof the flourishing young East End club. Tbe pro gramme was varied and pleasing, and at tbe conclusion dancing was.lndulged in by those present. Social Chatter. Miss Emma Louise Parrt will deliver a lecture under the auspices of the Women's Home and Foreign Missionary Society, in Trinity Lutheran Church, corner Stockton ave nue and Arch street Allegheny, to-morrow evening. Subject, "Self-Culture and Culture of Self." "Walks and Talks in Europe" was the subject or,Cbarles F. McKenna's address, given under the auspices of Lorena Castle 131, Knights of tbe Golden Eagle, at Castle Hall. 23 Federal street last evening. Stereoptlcon views were a feature of tbe lecture. The young ladles ef Christ M. E. Church will distinguish themselves hi the catering line to-morrow from 12 till 2 o'clock. Tbe luncheon is to be given In the church corner Penn avenue and Eighth street. Mrs. H. M. Bennett, ot tho Hotel Scblos ser, has issued cards for a Kendal theater party to-morrow night in honor of Mrs. John S. Hays and daughter. Miss Stella. A pink supper will be served. Cards are out for tbe wedding of Miss Stella Fink, of Pearl street and George J. Kurtz, to be celebrated next Wednesday at 9 o'clock in St Joseph's Chureb. Father Allman will officiate. This evening at 8 o'clock a home wedding will unite Miss Julia Gill, daughter of A. J. Gill, of 261 Arch street Allegheny, and R. H. Crane, of Sbarpsburg. Our Boys' Social, ot tbe Eighteenth ward, celebrated tbeir first annual entertainment at Knigbts of St George's Hall, Penn avenue, last evening. The Allegheny Art Musical will be held this evening at tbe residence of Mrs. Mary Scott, North and Grant avennes, Allegheny. The members of the Concordia CluD enjoyed a pleasant hop at their clubhouse last even ing. The Nobles of the Mystic Shrine Oasis of Pittsburg celebrated a festival last evening. Knapp's Battery will give a reception to night in Cyclorama HalL THE INDIANS DISP03ED OF. What General Miles Has to Say About the Subdued Hostlles. Chicago, Jan. 28. When asked this morn ing as to the final disposition to be made of tbe Indians now at Fort Sheridan, General Miles said: "That is a matter to be determined in the future. Now tbat Sitting Bull and other chiefs are killed, and I have most of the others here, tbe Indians are left you might say, without a leader, ard there is no danger of further out break on the reservations. "Tbese men whom I brought to Chicago are a crowd of outlaws. Three hundred of tbe In dians arrested were sent to Fort Bully. Tbe others are all now under control of the military airmoritiesand backon their reservations where they belong, or are on their way there." AGAINST FBEE COINAGE. Boston Business Men Enter a Protest Be fore President Harrison. Washington. Jan. 28. A committee of Boston business men called on the President this morning and discussed informally the sil ver situation and opposed free coinage. Tbe President it is understood, was non committal as to his Intention of favoring or op posing any sliver legislation during tbis Con gress, and told the delegates it wonld be emi nently improper for him, at this time, to give any expression regarding bis views on silver, or bis future action. THS MEXICAN MISSIOX A. Proposition to Raise It to One of the First Class. Washington, Jan. 23. Senator Frye to-day proposed an amendment to the consular and diplomatic appropriations bill raising the mis sion to Mexico to that' of the first class, and making an appropriation ot $37,500 to meet the expenses of the legation. Secretary Blaine, In a letter to Senator Frye, heartily recommends tbat the change be made. TThen tho Investigation is Completed. Philadelphia Times. The announcement as to wbo Is the most skilful pool player in the country will not be made public until after the silver lnvtitlgatioa now going on. CORI0US C0NDESSAT105& An expert says tbat the easiest,way io clean rubber shoes of any kind is to inb them with vaseline. Fiji is beginning to cultivate tobacco, tbe enterprise being assisted by the concession of Government land to tbe planters on easy terms. Five hundred applications have been made to tbe Department ot the Interior at Toronto for the privilege of boring for oil in the Kootenay country. A pair of wild moose are being trained and broken into harness in South Sioux Falls, S. D., far tbe benefit of foreign visitors at the World's Fair In Chicago. The British authorities have been ad vised of renewed activity in the ranks of the dynamite party in America, wbo are said to bo actively preparing to resume operations. Terrific snow storms have prevailed recently throughout the southeastern portions of Russia, and whole villages ana numbers of Isolated houses have been almost buried in snow. The season thus far has been very favor able for transportation by tbe lakes, and an un usually large amount of freight is being carried bv the boats between Milwaukee and Grand Haven. The statement issued by the Census Department for Alabama's population gives tbe total as 1.513,017; of this number 830,786 are whites, 6SM.il are colored, 730 are Indians and 40 are Chinese. According to a yarn sent out from Fort Jefferson, Ky., a skeleton in armor has been unearthed there, together with a sword with a, golden hilt bearing on its handle the name "Hernando de Soto." Tbe Iobstermen on the Maine coast are in luck this winter, getting 12 cents apiece for tbeir "lobs." Tbeir occupation is hazardous and full of hardships, and biz pay is no mora than they deserve. Parties at South Haven, Mich., are about to build a yacht this winter for the ex press purpose of making a four-years' cruise of the pricipal ports and countries of the world. They expect to set sail in May. An English bacteriologist who is nota ble as tbe discoverer of taxalbumens, and who Is now studying the Koch method at tbe Hy gienic Institute, Berlin, announces that he has discovered a remedy for anthrax. A printer put a penny in the slot of a machine which was intended to prove a man's striking power. He tben punched tbe pad which was presented to receive tbe blow, but tbe spring didn't work, bis wrist was broken, and tbe jury gave him 550. Drs. Berlin and Picq, of the Nantes faculty, wbo recently injected 15 grains of goat's blood Into tbe muscular tissue of the thighs of two patients suffering from tuber culosis, assert mat cures can De enecteu oy re newing such Injections every ten days. Henry Johnson, a slave with a history, who was set free by his master. Mr. Foxall. and who waited npon Clay, Webster, Calboun and other great men. and who is said to have come in contact witb every President save Washington, is living in poverty atthe age of 90 years in Washington. Alice Wilson Pryor, to whom Guiteau, assassin of President Garfield, paid attention and proposed marriage, died last week at Jas per, Tenn. It Is stated tbat she was of good family and a beautiful girl, gay and spirited, but tbat she became a recluse, with shat tered nerves, after the trial and execution of Guiteau. Lady Marjorie Gordon, tbe 10-year-old daughter of tho Countess of Aberdeen, edits tbe children's page of a paper styled Onward and Upward, published In London. Little Lady Marjorie writes a lively letter to her young constituents, and tells them Interesting stories about ber pet animals, being probably the youngest editor in the world. Germany has 9,275 breweries in opera tion, against 9,556 in January, 1S90. Tbe total beer product of the whole country last year was 5,232,073,000 quarts, against 4,760.293,900 in tbe preceding year. The consumption per capita was 106.3 quarts, against 97.9 quarts in tbe preceding year. The largest brewery In Germany paid last year a tax ot 50,000. A clever swindle was perpetrated on several professional gentlemen in Adrian, Mich., by an agent purporting to represent an English syndicate, with headquarters at De troit He took orders for carpets at about 30 cents on the dollar. Incidentally he sold them some cashmeres. They received the cashmeres from the agenr, and paid cash, about double tbeir value. The carpets never came, and some of the customers are out about 50. The British Government has just re fused to restore to tbeir native country the banished Zulus wbo are now iu St Helena. Ever since tbese chiefs were sent to St Helena, nearly two years ago, the Zulu Defence Fund has been endeavoring to secure a revision of tbe heavy sentence. One of the chiefs is young Dimzulu, tbe son of the famous King Cetyways. Their offence was flgbtlng Usipedu, who was supported by the British Government Bichard Golden quelled a panic in the Fall River, Mass., Academy of Music during the performance of "Old Jed Frouty" one even ing recently. Five boys bad secreted themselves in a closet nnder the gallery during the after noon, and tried to come out after the perform ance had begun. One stepped through soma glass, and another trod on a wire tbat set a bell ringing, and there was instant confusion in the auulence. About 200 people rushed out and others jumped to their feet. Upon this the star rusbed to the footlights and crieu: "Sit down! There's nothing tbe matter! If there was, 1 would be first to get out I" This diverted attention, tbe crowd settled down, and mean while two of tbe youngsters escaped. The others were found hanging, like bats, to the rafters, and were arrested. The platypus, a small, mole-like beast of Australia, has been voted the palm for being the most extraordinary' mammal in the known world. For the last 20 years its skin bas been highly prized as an article of commerce, yet during all of tbat time scientists have been trying to settle the question whether it is born alive or hatched from an egg. Mr. Caldwell was sent out to Australia by the British Asso ciation for the express purpose of studying the life history of tbis wonderful creature, and was finallv rowarded by the discovery of the eg" and 'nest of tbis contradiction of nature. The body of tbe platypus resembles that of the mole, and is covered with a close, short grayish-brown fur. Like tbe beaver, its tail is broad and flattened. A horny extension of the laws form a beak like tbat of a durk, their margins being sheathed with horn and supplied with transverse horny plates, two in each jaw, but tbese are not true teeth. Tho toes are united by a membrane or web, so tba animal is enabled to swim with great ease. It inhabits small streams and ponds, living principally, if not whollr, on insects. When tbe young are hatched they are blind and quite naked. The method by which they obtain milk from the mother is still obscure, as the creature has no nipples, onlv aflat surface; unris there any marsupial pouch. The beak of the young Is wholly unlike thatnf an adult It cost the British Association over $10,000 to ascertain the anovo facts. tfUNNT MEN'S FANCIES. "I like you well enough, Chappie," said Kthel, "but yon don't know much." I knowyou." returned Chappie," and that's everything." Sew YorK Evening Hun. A "squeeze" i, technically, an impres sion of a raised object on wet paper. Some fel lows can a-et a very nice Impression from a squeeze. New York Evening World. "Why don't you marry. Mr. Bachelor?" Well, I've been tryinjt for years to find a girt." 'Have you got any money?' Enoucn, I guess." Then you Jnst hold still awhile and the girl wM flnd you." Washington Star. Biiiy Got work, eb, Curley? How much Curley-I yearn a heap more'n I get BlUy.-CAt-cago Times. Young husband Don't you quite under stand how to do It darling?" Young wife Yes, It .s all quite clear: but it says "first clean your turkey" and 1 was wondering whether one should use toilet or regular scouring soip.-Chicago Xews. In Lincoln, a dime museum three-headed woman Is an applicant for a divorce. Four heads to a famllv are altogether too many, to be sure. Omaha World Herald. An American naturalist has made up a list of 210 birds which are Indigenous to Alaska. but alas! the English sparrow Is not among them, and the people of that land cannot be blamed for declaring that tbe United States has no real senti mental Interest in them. Detroit Eree Pretty Teacher How long can a human being go without air? Bright boy Six hours. My pa says so. Teacher Dear tne. how is that possible? Hrlgbtboy He went from J(ew- York to Boston in a Tollman ear. Lite. It is a man's duty to work for his daily bread, but a good many men are fools to work as hard as tbeydofor a little cake and pie fiowsr- Ville Journal, ' .
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers