Hie Btgpaftfj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY S. 1MB. .Vol. (i..No.:80. -Fxuerec- at rutsburg I'ostomce. JJoTcmber 14, ls7. as second-class matter. Euslaess Office Corner Smitbfield and Diamond Streets. KetrB Rooms and Publishing House75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street EASTERN ADVERTISING OFF1C1!. ROOM SI. TRIBUNE BUILDING. NEW YORK, -whore complete flies or T11K DISPATCH can always be Sound. Forclcu aovcrtliers appreciate the con venience. Home advertisers and friends or THE DlbFATCU, -while In 2ew York, are also made welcome. TBE DISPATCH is regularly on sale a Srenlano's. S Union Square, J'eu York, and JTAvc. de r Opera, Paris. France, where any one u,ho has been disappointed at a hotel news stand can obtain iL TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. ruCTAGE ritKB IS TUE UNITED STATES. 2Ailr DisrATcn. One Year. I SCO DAILY DIsrATCH. I'er Quarter !M Daily Distatch, One Mouth - 70 Daily Insr-ATCH, lncludinfrSunday, lrcar. 3000 Daily DisrATCn, IncludluRSund.iy.Sm'tbs. ISO Daily Dispatch, lncludlngbunday.lmonth 80 ErsDAT Dispatch. One Year 150 T eekly Dispatch, One Year 125 The Daily Dispatch is delivered by carriers at 3!ccnuner week, or Jucludlne Sunday edition, ttM cents per -week. PITTSBURG. THURSDAY. SEPT. 25. 169a TO REGAIN 4 LOST INDUSTRY. The vital importance, to the petroleum producers, of the project they are agitating ot reviving independent pipe-lines and re fineries, has already been given prominence in The Dispatch. Much more can and trill be said on that branch of the question; buttbcrcis another aspect which should also receive full consideration. That is the in fluence which such a project -would have upon the growth and wealth or Pittsburg. To fully comprehend the importance of this matter it is well to call attention to the contrast between the importance of Pitts burg in the petroleum trade before the rise of the Standard Oil Company, and its present position. Sixteen years ago, before the Standard had made its first inroad upon the Pittsburg refining interests, Pittsburg was the third refining point in the world, and it was only dne to railroad discrimina tions that she was not the first or second. The nearest oil producingTegion was on the Millerstown and Parker line, some 50 miles to the north, but the natural advantages of the city for refining and distribution were Euch that we refined one-sixth of the total production. Every resident of Pittsburg can remember the line of refineries which stretchea up both sides of the Allegheny river, which employed thousands of men and cave an annual outDUt of from 15,000,000 to ?2j,000,000. It was clearly recognized when the Columbia Conduit Company laid its pipe line, that the con nection of the Pittsburg refineries with the wells, would make Pittsburg the leading refining point of the world, and would casilv double the magnitude of that indus try. That this expectation was not mis placed is proved by the fact that the com bined efforts ot the Standard and the rail ways were not able to crush out the inde pendent refining interest here, until the Columbia pipe line was absorbed and taken up. The contrast afforded by the present state ot aff.iirs could not be more extreme. In stead of being City miles away from the nearest producing district, Pittsburg is now the center of the greatest production. The development of the Washington county, Shannopin, Beaver, Charticrs, and other adjacent fields has gone on until derricks are within sight from the city limits. It is an actual fact that two-thirds of the present production, and more than the total product of 1874, is produced nearer Pittsburg than the utmost southern limit of production when Pittsburg was a great refining center. Yet the refining industry of Pittsburg has to-day shrunk to sucli a degree that it does not bear any appreciable figure in the petro leum statistics. The steps by which the Standard monop oly has wiped out the Pittsburg refining in dustry are part of the history of that monop oly, and need not be recounted here. It is worth while to remember that in such con tests as that over the free pipe bill of 1878, promises were made on behalf of the Stand ard that it would increase the volume of refining here; but such promises were made only to be broken. The Standard's policy hss been shaped as if in favor of the facili ties of this point for independent refining, it would not permit any refining at all to be done here. Tho consequence is that the disbursement ol millions of dollars in wages, and the employment of a still greater amount of capital in legitimate industry has been utterly lost to Pittsburg during the greater part of the p3St fifteen years. The deduction from this contrast whtch should come home with peculiar force to Pittsburg capital, and to all who are inter ested in the growth and prosperity of the city, is that Pittsburg to-day has all the facilities for refiuing petroleum that it had in 1874, with the addition of the almost im measurable advantage of having on two-thirds of her circumference the most prolific fields of production. Every consultation of the producers from Butler to "Washington has recognized that the natural terminus for pipe lines and the natural locatioa for refineries is in the vicin ity of this city. All previous efforts at in dependent refining here which have ob tained any approximation to equality in transportation have proved remunerative until bougnt up or choked off by the Stand ard. All these things point to the conclu sion that the union of Pittsburg capital with the producers, for building up the re fining industry on an independent basis, will be richly remunerative, and will give the city an increase of wealth, activity and pop ulation that can be obtained in no other way. Indeed, with the magnitude of the oppor tunity fully recognized and promptly acted upon, there is no reason why the iudustry of refining should not be revived here on a scale which would make the old industry seem petty. Sixty per cent of the production is ready to join in an effort to secure its band ling and refining on an independent basis Leic If Pittsburg capital will make com mon cause with the producers, it should gain for our city a business which, with intelli gent and determined management, ought to exceed that done by the Standard at either Cleveland or. New York. CLARKsOX'" Itlfi CIIMRICT. It is calculated to arouse ieclings of appre hension and sadness in the public mind to find that Headsman Ciarkson has under taken the contract of wiping out James G. Blaine as a leader in the Republican party. Mr. Ciarkson is an amusing and instructive exponent of the spoils stripe of politics, whose feat in chopping off the greatest possible number of heads of Democratic postmasters in the least possible time has inspired him with the idea that be is qual ified to sway the course of parties. The sincerity with which Mr. Ciarkson takes himself lerioosly, produces such aa effect that, after Sir. Beed has abandoned the task, his attempt to smash Secretary Blaine cannot but arouse public sympathy and sorrow for Ciarkson. The manifestation ot Clarkson's deter mination that Blaine must go, is made through the columns of the Politician, a journal which would never have been beard of if it were not the ridiculus mug produced by the mountain of labor anent Mr. Clark sonjs intentions to break out in the field of journalism. In the columns of the Politician the public is informed that Blaine is a Jonah, and the proposition is made to throw him overboard. If he were not a Jonah, says this exquisite political logician, he would not write so many letters, but would go to work for the party, and would have sup ported Beed in his district. Consequently he must go. Ciarkson has spoken. "We pass over the remarkable ratiocina tion of this effort to notice some points in the comparison which may give it accept ance. People who have more knowledge of biblical lore than the average politician may remember that Jonah was the only person on that traditional ship who ever did anything worth preserving, or whose name is known to subsequent generations. The world knows little and cares less what be came of that crew after it threw Jonah over board. Its only place in sacred history is that it did throw the prophet into the sea and after that it sinks into oblivion. Per haps it Ciarkson and his kind should suc ceed in their effort to throw Blaine over board they micht make an equal success in rescuing themselves irom future oblivion. Bbt there is no such hope for even that equivocal ambition. Clarksou's success in delaring that fourth-class postmasters must go may have misled him, but it does not qualify him for the task of wiping out a figure like that of James 6. Blaine. His effort is much more likely to result in the elimination of an infinitesimally smaller factor in the person of James S. Ciarkson. DELAMATER AND THE CONSTITUTION. Mr. Delamater and his organs have, after some trouble, elaborated a reply to Mr. Hensel's arraignment of the Republican candidate's infringement upon the consti tutional prohibition of members of the Leg islature obtaining profits from the State de posits. The reply can be fairly summarized as iollows: First, Mr. Delamater has con sulted eminent attorneys, who inform him that the matter does not disqualify him for the Governorship; second, the State deposits in the bank ot Delamater & Co., preceded by many years, the election of the head of that firm to the State Senate; third, tbere are now State deposits in the bank of which ex-Governor Pattison is the President, whtcb, as Mr. Delamater puts it, indicates "the practice of the State Treasurer to make his deposits wherever he may see fit." This evinces an utter inability on the part of the Bepublican candidate and his sup porters to comprehend the gravity of the assertion that a candidate for the highest office in the State has already demonstrated his readiness to ignore the fundamental law where it conflicts with his personal in terest. Every one was perfectly well aware that in the absence ol formal conviction the disqualification prescribed by the Consti tution cannot take effect The confusion of ideas with regard to the deposit of State funds in Governor Pattison's bank and in Mr. Delamater's bank before be was Sena tor is even more indicative of au ntter fail ure to understand the point. No one alleges that there is anything wrong in the deposits in Governor Pattison's bank, and the record of that gentleman justifies the belief of his supporters that when he is elected Governor he will respect the Constitution by dissolv ing his connection with any financial insti tution that profits by the State deposits. Whether there was any political motive in the State deposits given to Senator Dela mater before he was elected Senator, that gentleman knows better than anyone else; but the present point is that the constitu tional prohibition took effect when he was elected Senator, and that the violation con tinned throughout his Senatorial term. Pattison is only a private citizen, and not included in the constitutional prohibition. Delamator, as a legislator, was included. There is manifested throughout the entire Bepublican response to Mr. Hensel's charge a characteristic ignorance of the principle that the Constitution is the fundamental law of the State, to which all owe obedience and for which candidates for State position should be especially expected to show the most scrupulous respect. Yet that is the broad and fundamental issue of the present campaign. "We have a Constitution framed by the best and most independent minds of the State, containing provisions designed to place the restraints ot the law upon'some of the notorious abuses of the time. That Con stitution, with full discussion of its provisions, was adopted by one of the largest popular majorities ever given in this State to any measure. Among the provisions of this iundamental instrument, was the one intended to check the well-known evil of the use of State funds for the private ad vantage of the managing politicians. It may not have been the most vital ot the constitutional provisions.but it was directed against a known evil, and it is the constitu tional enactment of the State. If Senator Delamater, having taken an oath as Sena tor, to support and obey the Constitution of the State, can ignore its provisions where his own bank is concerned, what guarantee can be given to the people, that the similar oath taken by him as Governor would bind him to the support of the constitutional provisions affecting the interests of mightier corporations, which have already shown their readiness to nullify that instrument? There is no reason for holding up Senator Delamater as the only or even the chief offender in the way of ignoring and nullify ing the salutary prohibitions of the State Constitution. But his position as shown by Mr. Hensel and emphasized by his own re ply, makes him a fair representative ot the evil that has been widespraad and of long standing in this State. It defines the issue cf this campaign, whether the fundamental law shall be obeyed by all alike, or whether it shall be ignored by the politicians and corporations. There is not in Senator Del amater's reply to Mr. Hensel the slightest trace of a perception that the Constitution is a law to which public officials owe their first fealty; but this is no more than the ex pression of a lapse that is almost as broad as Bepublican administration of the State almost from the dte of the new Constitu tion itself. It is the same idea that was de clared by John B. Bobinson, of Delaware county, ou the floor of the House, when speaking in the interest of the railways against an anti-discrimination bill. He as serted that "there are many things in the Constitution that I cannot indorse;" and exactly the came practice has been mani fested on a gigantic scale, in the nullifica tion of that instrument by the greatest cor porations conducting operations in Pennsyl vania. It is on exactly this ground that the sup porters of Governor Pattison, and especially those who are disregarding party ties in sup porting him, can be veil content to take their stand. If the Constitution is not to be the supreme law over the influential poli ticians and the mighty corporations, as well as over the humbler citizens, or the tolling masses, there it no stability or guarantee of popular rights in so-called republican gov ernment If there is to be a privileged class free to ignore thefundamental law where their private interest is concerned, it is time for the people to pass on the establishment of such privileges by their votes. Finally, when a candidate for the highest office in the State, who is charged with the duty of main taining the enforcement of the Constitution, is already proved by his record to have ig nored it where his private profit has been concerned, there is no better way for the peo ple to assert the supremacy of constitutional law than by declaring at the polls that, however personally amiable or promising such a candidate may be, he cannot have their suffrages. , NOT A YEAR FOR SIDE-SHOWS. The announcement that a Greenback-Labor ticket is to be put in nomination in this State is of course nonsensical. A few of the persevering may go through the motions; but the ticket will never get into the field to speak of. There is no longer any greenback issue; and the laboring interest which keeps its eyes open is-going to vote for the candi date who is in favor of enforcing the consti tution against the corporations as much as against the laboring people. THE PROPER COMPROMISE. The deadlock on the sugar and binding twine provisions of the tariff bill was re ported yesterday to he made still more stringent by the fact that thirty of the House Bepublicans have notified their con ferees that if the House rates on sugar are not adhered to they will vote against the r tariff bill; while ten of the Bepublican Sen ators have stated that if the binding twine amendment of the Senate is not preserved they will antagonize the bill in the Senate. This is a very extreme stand. If mem bers take the position of fighting a' bill be cause it is wrong in one or two particulars nearly all legislation, and tariff legislation especially, will be imDracticable. But there is no doubt that the position of the threatening members in both Houses is par tially justified by the importance of the principle. It is about the same in both cases. The House sugar schedule prevents the Sugar Trust from squeezing the con sumers, while giving it adequate protection. The Senate's action with regard to bind ing twine gives no more than just punishment to a combina tion of much less magnitude which has utilized the protective tariff to squeeze the farmers of the Northwest Both the features for which such a bold and insub ordinate stand is taken ought to be main tained, and while the threat of beating the tariff hill is beyond reason, it is not un pleasant to see that there is a stern deter mination somewhere, not to let these pro visions go for the benefit of the combina tions. Bnt there is no reason why this condition of affairs should prolong the deadlock. Let the Senate concede to the House the latter's schedule on sugar, and let the House accept the Senate's amendment of free binding twine. That would be compromise to which the public would give its indorse ment, and it would permit the long-drawn out tussle with the tariff to come to an end at once. The tardiness of the United States in providing a pension for General Fremont had the discreditable result of letting him die in poverty before the pension had relieved his necessities. Now his wife is ill and destitute. The credit of mis country is no less intolved in the relief of the daughter of Benton and the wife of the Pathfinder, the leaderin the acquisi tion of California, and the Union General, than in the case of half a dozen other ladies who have been given pensions. It is to be hoped that Congress will act in her case more speedily than in that of her husband. Patti is coming back to the United States for another farewell tour; but she says that she loves America so dearly that she can never say farewell. Dearly is an expressive term; but it hardly rises to the height of 4,000 nightly. The statement by the London Times' Berlin correspondence that the young German Emperor In the recent maneuvers "displayed singular strategical ability ot great promise," is not reassuring as to the peace of Europe. The "promise" Is too likely to take the shape that the "war lord" will follow the example of bis predecessor, Frederick the Great, who plunged Europe into war for the sake of "glory," and after a life-time of battles, recognized the fact that the glory cost more than it came to. . The bankruptcy bill is to go over until next session. Since the politicians' measure in the form of the elections bill could not be passed, the legislation for the business Interests has got to be laid on the shelf with It The report that steel has been made at Chattanooga, by the basic process, at $21 75 per ton, was by a typographical error, given in the Philadelphia Record, as at J2 75 per ton. The larger sum is cheap enough to require verifica tion; but the statement is enough to cause Pittsburg to sea whether it will not be wise to reinforce Its steel industry with the basic process for the conversion of high-phosphorus pig iron. The excuse.is made for the Vermont Be publicans that they were getting in their oats on election day. Perhaps so; but they did not feel their oats the day after election. During the war, if you flung a stick at a dog in Washington it was expected to hit a Brigadier General. Later, during the Hayes administration the probability was that it would hit an Ohio man. At present however, conditions have changed so that it someone kicks a door open it hits a man from Maine. Capitalists of the East, if they were consulted by Ingalls, would be likely to tell him that 18 per cent interest on good security is an iridescent arcam. A tree is one of the most beautiful crea tions of nature, and it is also one of the most beneficial In its effects on rainfall and tho re tention of moisture. This nation wcnld be wise to divert some of the energies that havo been expended In cutting down trees, to the work of planting them. Let ns stick to the hope that the need for sugar in the Congressional campaign will not cause sugar to rule in the tariff bill. OHIO VETERANS' EETJNION. More Than a Thousand Old Solilien Galher nt Yunngaiovrn. ISrECIAL TELEOHAU TO TaXDISFATCDT.t "XotJNOBTO-wjf, September 554. A reunion of old soldiers of Mahoning county and this sec tion ot the State was held here to-day at the fair grounds, under the au&pices of Tod Post more than a thousand veterans being in at tendance. Addresses were delivered by Department Commander Dowling, Judge Advocate Tibbols and others. Ex-PresidentHayes was expected, but was compelled -to go to Cincinnati. The visitors were handsomely entertained by the resident soldiers. Gould the Gobbler. JTrom the Omaha World-Herald.! There is sometimes something In a name. Jay Gould'ireal name Is Jason, but the Utter day Jason is not content with the golden fleece alone. He aants the entire sheep, OUR SHORT STORIES, A STRANGE EXPERIENCE. tT's curious," said the commercial traveler in the reading room at the hotel, "but I never see an accident Insurance policy like the one you're got without thinking of a singular thing that happened to a cousin of mine In Ohio. He flicked the ashes from the end of his cigar, drew a long breath, as if some painful or melancholy memory had been stirred, and pro ceeded: "We wore at a little town called Now Vien na, waiting for the train to Cincinnati. While lounging about in the station the sign over the ticket seller's window, 'Accident Insurance policies sold here.' attracted my attention. I said to him, 'Sam, that was my cousin's name 'hadn't yon better get one of these policies? It costs only a quarter.' "Tm a little superstitious about such things, he said. 'I've never invested In one of them yet, and I've traveled thousands and thousands of miles without an accident of any kind: " 'You don't know when It may come your tnrn,' I argued. "Well to make a long story short he paid the ticket eellcr 25 cents and got a policy by the terms of which his heirs were to have $3,000 in case of his death by accident within 24 hours. In a little while the train came along, we got aDoard, and" The commercial traveler's voice had gotten unsteady. He stopped and turned bis head away as if struggling to repress his emotion. "What happened to him!" inquired one of the eager listeners. An unshed tear glistened in the narrator's eye. "Nothing," he said, bitterly. "He had wasted that quarter of a dollar and it would have bought five beers!" IT REMINDED HIM. (iCek there's been another train robbery in Missouri." "Sot" "Yes; guess they got some money, too." "Hm," murmured the speaker's fellow pas senger. "Paper says that it'll run to $40,000." "Yes," was the dry response. "It was a slick piece of work, and if Jesse James were alive they'd fix it on him In a jiffy." "Reminds me of good old times," remarked the quiet stranger. "What!" was the exclamation of the man who had the paper. "It brings about pleasant mem' ties, I mean." "HeyT How's that?" "Well, ye see, I'm Henry Hankinson, an' I helped rob the Missoury Pacific at Otterville in 1878. Just got away from a 20-year term at Jefferson. But, ez I said, it reminds me of good old times, and " "If you'll excuse me, 'Mr. Hankinson," said the other passenger, grabbing his grip and um brella, "I've got to get off here my station, you know," and the drummer from Boston slid out of the car and went into the sleeper, where he engaged a berth and had it made up. "I'm sick," he said to the porter, and ho was. CAPTAIN BRANHEIMlS RATTLESNAKES. Paptaln Branukiit, of the Metropolitan police force in Kansas City, and a turnkey named Kris, had a remarkably unpleasant ex perience with three monster rattlesnakes one day last week. Branheim was on duty at police headquarters at the time in question when a man was brought in very much under tho in fluence of liquor. He was a wild and uncouth specimen of a Westerner, and under one arm he carried a small pine box. This box he clung tightly to, and as there was no serious charge against him the turnkey concluded to let him take it into th ) cell with him. The cells at the Central station In Kansas City are in a sort of basement under the office, and as the drunken man was wholly incapable of walking, the turnkey called on Branheim for assistance in taking him down the stairway. It was when tboy were within half a dozen steps of the bottom that the drunken man slipped from the grasp of the officers. Headlong he plunged to the bottom, the pine box being under him when he fell. There was a crash and then an ominous rattle and hiss, and out crawled from beneath the prostrate man three enormous rattlesnakes. The officers had fol lowed the man when he fell, and one of the snakes crawled across Branheim's right foot. As soon as the rattlers were released they coiled themselves ready to strike. One elance was enough for the officers, and giving a yell they scrambled back up the stairway. The commotion roused the prisoners in the cages, and as soon as they comprehended that tbere were three large rattlesnakes loose on' the floor there was a wild scramble for the bunks. Branheim ran up stair.! and secured his re volver and shot the largest snake through the head, while Kris killed the other two with a club. One peculiar feature of tho affair was that the snakes did not offer to bite the drunken man. The largest snake had eight rattles and a button, while the other two had four rattles and a button apiece. These little momentos of the officers' exciting experience now adorn the shelf of the museum at the Central station, ONE OF MANY. iCAYf" called out the sharp-featured woman, "do you warrant these musk melons to be ripe?" "We do, madam." said the grocer. "Well. 1 want to get one." "In a moment, ma'am. Just as soon as 1 tie ud this" 'Tm in a hurry. If you can't wait on me just say so and I'll go to some other store." "Excuse me just a moment" the grocer said to the customer he had been waiting on. "Now, ma'am, I'll be happy to " "You say you warrant them?" "Yes." "How much is this one?" "Forty cents." 'My laud! I can get 'em like that over here at Hamilton's for 25." "I think not, ma'am. But we have them all prices from 40 cents down to 5." 'Take 20 cents for this one?" "Couldn't do it, ma'am." "How would you sell three like this!" "They would cost you half a dollar." "Sure they're ripe?" "If they're not they won't cost you any thing." "Well, they oughtn't to. You make profit enough on 'em anyhow." "I make about CO cents on the entire lot, ma'am. Did you say you would take those three?" "No, I didn't I don't believe they're ripe." "I assure you, ma'am, they are all ripe." (To the other customer.) I'll be there in just a moment" (To the sharp-featured woman.) "I'll let you have the three for 45 cents. Th at's exactly cost." "M'ml" mused the woman. "You say you warrant them?" "We do." "Won't take 45 cents for these four, I reckon?" "Couldn't possibly doit ma'am. That's less1 than cost" "Wouldn't sell these five for 10 cents apiece?" "Would be glad to oblige you, but I couldn't let them go at that" "M'ml I'll take this 5 cent one. Here's a five dollar bill. It's the IeastI've got. Give me the change as quick as you can." Yet'peoplo wonder why grocers hare a bald spot on top of the head and contribute so little to the support of foreign missions. New Catholic Church Building-. IsrECIAL TKLEORAJt TO THIS DISFjLTCtI.1 Geeexsbueo, September 24. The new Catholic Church, to he known as the Polish and Slavic Church of Tramflguration, consisting of a membership of 700 families, will be completed In four weeks. Bishop Phelan, who Is at pres entln Rome, will conduct the ordination serv ices. Father Wall, the General Recorder of Seeds for the Catholic Church of Pittsburg, Is taking an important part in the building of the church. DEATHS0FA DAY. Richard II. Elliott. Richard H. Elliott died yesterday morning at the age of S9 years. The funeral will occur Friday afternoon at 1:30, from the late residence of the deceaied, on becoud avenue. Air. Elliott has been policeman it the B. & U. depot on Smlthfield and vu In the employ of that company for 20 jenrs. He has held numerous positions ltli the company and has been policeman for about six years. 31r. William Ucei. Mrs. Catharine Itced, wife of Captain William .Beed, or the Allegheny police force, died yester day at the age oV 69 years. Tho funeral will occur Thursday at 1 v. ft., from her husband's resi dence! ou Congress street. TOPICS 0FJHE DAY. Since the opening day visitors to the Exposi tion hare ,had an opportunity to vote upon a variety of popular topics, and thousands have taken advantage of The Dispatch Poll Book to express their views thereon pro and con. This popular mode of gauging public opinion will be pursued by The Dispatch until the close of the big show. Everybody attending the Ex position are requested to cast their ballots and make such remarks as they see fit on the fol lowing questions: THURSDAY'S VOTISG TOPIC. Should Ladies Bemovo Their Hats and Bon nets in Theaters ? Open to Lady and Gentle men Voteis. FBIDAT'S VOTING TOPIC. Should Railroad Crossings at Grade be Abol ished 1 Open to Lady and Gentlemen Voters. SATURDAY'S VOTING TOPIC. Should a Uniform Marriage and Divorce Law be Urged Upon Congress ? Open to Lady and Gentlemen Voters. Vote Aye "or Nay on the foregoing at Dis patch Headquarters, Brunswlck-Balke-Col-lender Billiard Company's Space, Exhibition Building. On account of the bulk and variety of the competitions for the Prizes offered by The Dispatch for the best essay on the measures to be taken to promote the growth and prosper ity of Pittsburg, The Dispatch has decided not to detract from their importance by another essay contest until after the pending awards have been made and the competitions pub lished. The topic is of vital importance, and the public must be given opportunity to digest the views of the writers without being turned in other and lesser channels. NICKEL FOB GUN MAKING. The Product of Canadian Mines Controlled br nn Ohio Syndicate. rSFECTAI. TELEGRAM TO THE DISPATCH.! Akbon, Septcmbor 24. Experiments just finished at Annapolis in which was demon strated superior resistance of armor plate made of steel with a small alloy of nickel, are pecu liarly interesting to Akronians. S. J. Ritchie, of this city, the well-known advocate of Cana dian reciprocity, together with Judge Burke, of Cleveland, and several other local capital ists, own the mine at Sudbury Junction, in Central Ontario, from which most of the world's future supply of nickel is to be derived. Mr. Ritchie had an appointment to meet in Cleveland to-day Commander Folger, Chief of the United States Naval Ordnance, to arrange for supplying tbo Government with nickel for guns, armor plate and shot, but the meeting will take place in Washington instead. Four representatives of the Krupps, the Aus trian gun makers, were in Cleveland to-day to negotiate for ten years' supply of nickel from the Sudbury mines for aiinor plate. Gun metal containing 3K per cent of nickel has been found by the Krupps to have greater strength than any material now used. Andrew Carnegie and other steel men of Pittsbnrg are also mak ing efforts to get a large share of the nickel now being produced at Sudbury. Gamier, the French expert wbo discovered nickel in New Caledonia which the Rothschilds have so long controlled, is now in the employ ot the Ritchie syndicate. .The company is incorporated under tbe laws of Ohio, and is chartered as a Canadian Copper Company. Mr. Ritchie made a success ful campaign at Washington this summer In behalf of very large reductions In duty on nickel, so that the output of the Canadian mines might come over the lino practically free, tbe Institution being to start a large plant in Ohio for manufacture of nickel, steel plate and gun metal. STANLEY'S WELL-WOBN BOOT. It Is Owned by Thomas B. Blackburne) of Newark. From the New xork Bun.l Mr. Thomas B. Blackburne, of 5S9 Broad street Newark, is showing his friends a hoot given to him by his relative, Mr. Blackburne, tbe English chess player. The boot was pre sented to the London Blackburne by Heury M. Stanley, and is a memento of tbe explorer's last Ions trip into the fastnesses of the Dark Continent It was carried on bisleft foot through morass and desert and is verv much the worse for wear. The sole, which is of thick India rubber, is not much worn, but the leg Is torn in half a dozen places. The boot would resist a snake bite, and it looks as if it would make a No. 11 print every time ic was put down. AIT EHTEEPEISmO CUBAN SYNDICATE. Its Exports of lUaoaaneae Lnrsely Exceed Those ot tbe American. Havana, September 24. In spite of the resolution of the Intendent of the Treasury fixing tbe official ralue of tbe Mexican dollar at 80 cents, dealers at Cienfnegos, Sagna, Santa Clara, Ramedios, and other places freely re ceive the dollar at its full value. During the month of August 5,200 tons of manganese, were exported from St Jago De Cuba. Owing to the ready sale the manganese meets with in the United States Its production Is fast increasing, and the exports for Septem ber will be larger than ever Def ore. The owners of the mines bave formed a yndicate to work them themselves, some American companies which first undertook to work the mines, having failed to fulfill tbeir contracts. The exports of maneanese ore from July 1, 18S9, to June 30, 1890, amounted to 2,240 ton and from July 1, to August 20, 1690, to 4,190 tons. In other words tbe Cuban syndicate exported more in SI days than American contractors did in one year. The Havana weekly report says that great excitement has been caused in tbe Cuban tobacco trade by tbe passage of tbe AicKlnley bill, and that in accordance with telegraphic advices from the United States, heavy ship ments are made of tobacco stored in this city. In order to avoid complications under tbe new law which is expected to go into effect on October 1, t Bitter Acnlnat License. UPSCIAL TZLEOBAM TO THE DMrATCTt." FlNDLAY, September 21 In the State Tem perance Conference which has been in session in this city addresses were made to-day by Rev. Mr. Tunnison,;of Cincinnati. M. R. Dinwiddle, of Springfield, and others. The conference ad journed this evening after passing resolutions declaring that the license system is vicious in theory and pernicious in practice. Tho Ltitcrnry Imboier. From the Boston Traveler. Mr. Powderly runs the literary end of strikes, and in this capacity be still continues to earn his salary. INTEBESTING PEOPLE, Vice President Morton frequently cap tures prizes at State and County Fairs. Senator Wade Hamhtox, notwithstand ing his cork leg, is an expert horseman. Dr. Talmaoe says that the report that be is getting stout is an invention of Satan. Boucicault's family name is said to be pronounced "Boccalt" in his native city of Dublin. Sir Edwtn Arnold vigorously denies the report that he intends to marry a Japanese woman. Bismarck Is not a very good conversational ist and he is a worse orator. While making a public address he sways himself backward and forward and twirls his thumbs. Congressman Kennedy entered tbe war as a private and rose by successive steps to Brigadier General. At the close of the war he studied law. and since practiced at the bar. Senator McMillan, though on the shady side of) oO, is regarded by some judges as tho best dressed man in the Senate. Still, he hardly gets dressed down as much as Senator Quay does. Majoe James B. Pond, who manages Stanley's lectures in this country, learned the printer's trade in Fond du Lac, Wis., and at tho commencement of the war was editor of a paper in Mrkesan, same State. Akelia nrVES Chanlee Is studying art at Fontaincbledu and doing no writing. She goes but little into society, altbogh the French people admlr'e her, and lime. Carnot the Pres ident's wife, ias taken a great fancy to her. James M. iWner, whom the Republicans of Michigan hae nominated for Governor, is several times amillionaire, and yet a farmer. He lives on a 2,009-acre farm near Lansing, runs a dairy of 3,000 cdwsand has a large quantity of fancy stock, including a kennel of dogs. It is said that JL M. Longyear, of Marquette, Mich., made his billions by studying geology until be could trice an Iron vein by the dip and strike equal to: the best miner in tho world. Then whenever the Lake Superior Ship Canal, Railway and Iron Company in its exploration?, found iron, he would trace the deposit off on Government land If he could, and at once buy the land. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. Shadow chasers imagine that life is a game of blind-man's-buff. Do you ever catch yourself thinking, dream ing? Yes no. Well yon can if you watch yourself. Think, now. Don't yon recollect that a week, a month, a year ago, perhaps, you were thinking the same thing, bad the same idea, surrounded by tbe same fancies, as at present? Don't these little waifs of the mind, these bop o' my thumbs ot the brain, dance before Memory's eye when least ex pected, and didn't you pause to think when, where, how they came then and why they come now? Certainly you have, for if they come to one of ns they roust come to all these imps of tbe dim past impressions of fleeting time, photographs of thought .doveloped on the sensitive plata ot tbe Ever Present! And how they do cross and recross the thought line, making us chase backward, reversing, cheating Time, as it were. If we are old perhaps It's a boyish fancy; If young. a babyish joy; if middle-aged a sun spot in the dividing line between the teens and the cyphers coming directly into tbe mind now as they came Then. It's the When and the Then that puz zles us. They seem to be Identical with the Now. The physical self alone warns us the mind is playing a trick; that the body cannot be transported to tbe thought which flies back to Yesterday. It has to' do with To-morrow the to-morrow that never comes the to-dav that is tbe connecting link with its never-ending successor. But the reality is with us the knowledze that the identical thing, thought, fancy, dream is of tbe long ago. It is like find ing a lost toy a plaything which would never bave been missed had we not thought of it again. And bow we fondle It little mite on the shores of Memory cast up by the thought wares that ebb and flow oror the sands of Time some with the soothing swish-swash of a summer sea, some with tbe angry roar of the storm, on tho crest of which rides the ghosts of the past the bogies that haunt not the fairies that cheer. Kennedy's speech has been expunged. Ho will be wiped out at the polls some day. Death seems to be flagging a good many trains. The driver of the Chicago street car who steered bis load into the river watered tbe stock of his company with a vengeance. The baseball elephant has degenerated into a very small mouse. The way to undo a good thing is to overdo it Men boil over In hot debate. The railroaders who believe the proper way to run a railway is to run tbe trains off the track might be nsed to test tbe killing qualities of electric wires. The students of electro cution and the scientists need subjects, and these human brutes should take the place of dumb brutes in the volt tests. Between barn-burners and barn-etormers the rural folk are having a hard time. The American Court has been transferred from the mountain top to the Potomac Flats. The atmosphere is rather chilly in both spots, too. - CANADA is boycotting Yankee fishermen. The crop of American liars will be short this winter. It takes more time to put up a Government building than to frame a Constitution. The speaker of every American house is the woman who pushes tbe carpet sweeper, you bet So Uncle Jerry Rusk is going to run the weather. He also has bis eye on the Presi dency, tboy say. If Jerry and tbe weather fail to hit It during plow time, all tho seed in hi3 department will not purchase the granger vote. The farmer has a perfect right to water his stock, but he should not cultivate mortgages. The swells on the sea, like those on the land, are light-headed. Is Tebry PowiEKir coquetting with the political bosses? Indications point that way. Remember Terre Haute, Terry, and don't get into another mess. Tbe Knights are not in tbe dark politically, and are perfectly able to act independently on the vote question. The quickest way for an obscure Congress man to become famous nowadays is to kick down a door or blackguard an opponent Both go under the rules. Beauty seems to be running to waist It stays there, of corset does. Some of the publishers are putting tbe American novels of passion in French clothing. Illustrating them by French artists, and aping the French style all over. They deserve credit for clothing a wolf in its own skin. Twine has tied up tbe tariff bill in the Con ference Committee. Pennsylvania is preparing to send two Stones to Congress. Some mud may be flung before they get there, however. Doctors are angry because the brethren wbo advertise are doing big business. It is very easy to weed tbe true from tbe false. Printers' Ink is not mixed witb prescriptions by those who use it aud bold high class diplomas. Have patience, gentlemen. If you advertise you will get patients, too. Speaker Reed can break a deadlock, and Kilgore can break a padlock. One works with a rule, and the other gets tbere with his feet. The sports who speeded tbeir horses in a city cemetery the other day committed a grave offense. Boats, like drunkards, often stick on a bar. People living along the Biy of Qninte, Can ada, are chasing tbe sea serpent. It is proper to state that this is the barley malt section of the Dominion, and distilleries dot tbe beautiful bay. The serpent is probably in the still. The mails have been closed to tho lottery, but the males are still purchasing tickets. The stylishly dressed fellow with no money In bis inside pocket Is like a ship under full canvas. He gets there on wind. Mrs. General Fremont, the widow of the Pathfinder, is destitute. The country should not wait for New York to start a subscription. She might starve meantime. Ijr you want to vote pay your poll tax. BALFOUR imprisons or shoots bi.3 political obstructionists. Military tactics instead of parliamentary tactics rule in Krin. Some people dig their own graves when they open a f mic can. THE tail is wagging tbe dog in Washington. The Senators should wake up and smash some thing just to let tbe people know they are still there. Coal oil can casualties are on the list There's moro work ahead for undertakers and grave diggers. The late Canon Llddon said of cats that their finer attributes were hidden by a coat of shyness and pride." They do this on purr-puss of course. Baseball scorers are men of mark. Willie Winkle. TwoDlfl Crente n Demand. From the Altoona Times. I If the language of the House Is not improved the Congressional Record will have to take a place with tbe "Krentzer Sonata" and other works of that ilk. Democrats Want None. From the "Wheeling Register (Dein.) If so much business has been done by Con gress, what's the need of au extra session. There Slny be Store. From the Philadelphia Inquirer. v Maine Ij a miebtv small State, but she has got two thundering bis men. OURMAIL POUCH. A Word for Kansas. To tbe Editor ot The Dispatch: With your permission I wish to say a word regarding an article I read in a recent lus patcii on tbe decline of Kansas, and especial ly of us capital, Topeka. Evidently the writer of that article Is a resubmlssionist And pro hibition is what hurts him and his class far more than the poverty of Kansas. I do not reside in that State nor have I any personal Interest there, bnt as a member of that vast army of commercial travelers I bave traveled pretty well over Kansas, and spent several days in Topeka, which is a very pretty city, fnll of energetic pushing business men, with evidence of growth and thrift on every side, except in the saloon and whisky traffic And I want to say right here that Kansas, witb all her drouths, hot winds and prohibition, raises more grain and small trults than any Eastern State. I saw more strawberries shipped from down ibout Columbus than is raised in all New Enirland. There is more fine blooded stock throughout Kansas than in any New England State. It was generally supposed that the mortgage indebtedness of the State was about S240.000.0UO. but to the surprise of many the census showed but about S75,00tt,000. Tbe wheat cron alone the past season showed a'surplus of $10,000,000 above cost of prodnction. and in some counties almost cleared the records of mortgages. This was the case with Sedg wick connty. No, Kansas may "bleed," but she will not die. As stated In your very sensible editorial, so long as she continues to raise tbe food she does and there are mouths to feed, is not going to ruin. G. V. Maytield, Fulton county. N. Y., September 24. An Apnlicnilon for a Tlace. To the Editor or The Dispatch: Please let me know tbrougb your paper how a letter of application for a position should be worded by one whose qualifications are as fol lows: Age, 18; experience, 10 months in office of John Smith & Co.; reference. John Smith it Co. I would like to file applications in some of tbe offices in the city, but do not understand tbe best way ot wording them. Ignorance. Pittsburg, September 24. Make your application brief, business-like, and to the point. Something like this would be apropos: "Gentlemen: Please consider me an applicant for the position you name in your ad vertisement I am IS years of age. and for the past ten months hare been employed as a clerk in tbe office of John Smith & Co., No. , street in this city, to whom I would refer you for particulars as to my qualifications and ability." Called From nn Exchange. To the Editor of The Ulspatcn: in your "Curious Condensations" of Septem ber 21, you say a "farmer in Indiana made J63 per acre on 30 acres of sunflowers planted. Will you be so kind as to state in your next issue what seed was used for and where it can be sold, if you know. C. STUEBGEX. Allegheny, September 23. The "Condensation" was taken from an arti cle inan Indiana newspaper. "Russian Sun flowers" was mentioned, no seed being named. Pan&STlvnnln Lines. To the Editor of The Dispatch: How many railroads does the Pennsylvania Railroad Company operate? What are the names and do all belong to the same company? A Reader. McDonald, Septembor24. The Pennsylvania Railroad Company oper ates the Pennsylvania Railroad and its branches. The Pennsylvania Company operates the Panhandle, Vandalia. Fort Wayne, and other less important lines. NO DISSOLUTION SANCTIONED. The Decision of the Redstone Presbytery nt Danbnr. rSFXCIAt. TTIEPBAM TO TBI DISrATCFt.1 Dunbar, September 24. The Redstone Presbytery was taken up this morning with routine business. A petition from a minority of the church of Greensboro, asking for a dis solution of the pastoral relations, was put into the bauds of a committee with all tbe papers concerning the trouble. The committee inves tigated the case and heard both sides at length and made tbe following report to the Presby tery, which was adoptod: First, That the peti tion be not granted and tbe pastoral relation not dissolved. Second, That an election for three or more elders be held in the Greensboro church In October, and a committee of Presby tery was appointed to bold such an election. Tbe time and place of the next meeting of Presbytery was fixed at Scottdale, tbe third Tuesday of April next. An adjourned meeting of Presbytery was also appointed at Bellever non tbe second Tuesday of December next, for conference and prayer. Tbe following persons were chosen delegates to tbe next meeting of Synod of Pennsylvania, at Wheeling, October 10: Ministers W. G. Stewart W. F. Plummer, R. F. Smith and T. S. Negley. Elders, Thomas L. Robertson. T. W. Watt, W. F. Hough and Janios Jamison. A resolution of thanks to the pastor. Kev. W. G. Stewart, and to tbe people of Dunbar church, for entertainment, was passed. BEADY FOB WOBK. Hundreds of ministers Coins; to ibe Newark III. E. Conference. tfFICIAI. TILKGItAM TO THE DISrATCII.1 Newark, O.. September 24. The 300 minis ters, many Willi their wives, connected with tbe Ohio M. . Conference, are arriving on every train and getting ready for tbe work of the seventy-ninth a-mual session, which begins here to-morrow morning. This is one ot the four large conterences of Ohio, and covers a large area. The conference is to meet in tbo Methodist Churcb, which is a substantial and handsome structure. The last time the conference met in this city was in 1S74. VOTING FOB A PB0FESS0B. Tbntcber Gets n Dlrjorltr of t;ie Ballots Cast by ilie V. P. Synod. rSFXCIAI. TELEOIIAil Til TUE DISPATCH.! MEADVILLE, September 24. At to-day's ses sion of the First Sjnod of the West United Presbyterian Churcb, held at Cochrantown, the names of Professor O. J. Thatcher and Profes sor M. G. Kyle were presented for the position of professor of ecclesiastical history In the Allegheny Theological Seminary. After a warm deDate the following rote was recorded: Thatcher, 76; Kyle. 59. The position is con trolled by the New York, Ohio and Pittsbnrg synods and tbe one now in session in New York has already declared in favor of Professor Tbatcher, and Ohio and Pittsburg are yet to hear from. Resolutions were adopted protest ing against allowing tbe World's, Fair to re main open on Sunday. The session will adjourn to-morrow, and the next meeting will be held in tho First Churcb, Allegheny, the fourth Sunday In September, 189L Hence Thei're Open. From the Mew York World.! Congress finds it bard to keep either its doors or its unruly mouths shut PENNSYLVANIA POLITICS. HarrisburO Telegraph (Rep.): That Dem ocratic junketing car that is to be run through the Slate may be too crowded to make room for the Spirit of Jefferson. Philadelphia iVeura (Dem.): There is only one answer to tbe question of Delamater's legal right to hold the office of Governor that is "he hasn't any." In case Delamaterts elected he will not be assured of occupying the execu tive mansion. Newcastle 2iews (Rep.): A prominent Re publican expressed tbo light sentiment tbe other day by saying. "I would rather be the nominee ot the Harmony Convention and be defeated than to be elected on the nomination claimed by McDowell." Williamsport Sun (Dem.): While Dela mater Is shaking hands with the miners of the Shenandoah Valley the poor laborers who lost their all in tbe smasb-uo of the Philadelphia bank, in which Delamater was interested, are wondering bow they are to keep from starving this winter. Altoona. Times Dem.y. Mr. Miller, the Prohibitionist candidate for Governor, has re cently declined to run. This is not an off-year in politics, you knpw, and Mr. Miller knows that a large number of tbe Prohibitionists feel incumbent upon them to vote tbe Republican ticked whenever that party needs their vote. Dallas Saunders. ex-Democratic Com mittee Chairman: I am positive that Dela mater's majority will not be over 10,000 in Phil adelphia county, where it Is usually 20,000, and Chester county, which Is Republican by 3,000, will be a stand-off. Pattison is very popular in Philadelphia and tbe Republican managers cannot rely on Philadelphia to carry their can didate through. CURIOUS C0NDENSAT10HS. There is a prospect for an entire census recount for Oregon. There has been an extraordinary salmon run in British Columbia. Bay City, Mlcb., has the largest wood enware factory In the world. There is more shipping now in the port at Charleston than at any time for the last fire years. One Colorado county has 100 artesian wells. New ones do not decrease the flow of tbe old ones. A wild sweet potato, found growing neer Paulsboro, N. J., measured 20 Inches In circumference. All the butter in De Funiak, Fla., was confiscated by Uncle Sam last week. Cause. oleomargarine frauds. An English painter in water colors, named George Thompson, has opened an exhi bition of 0 pictures in Detroit A New York wedding party broke up In a general fight because an admiring guest insisted upon kissing the brido too often. Dry rot is making havoc in potatoes grown near Erie. One farmer lost 63 out of 100 bnhels, and another saved but 14 bushels ont of 75. With the view of preserving the big trees of California, Secretary Noble has with drawn from entry tracts ot land containing them. A San Francisco painter complained to the police that spooks bad robbed him of all bis internal organs. He was arrested for In sanity. Mrs. Mary Levens, of SunfielJ, Mich, wbo lived a complete century, bad 65 children, grand children and great grand children at the celebration. "Within the past three months injunc tions bave been given against 150 saloons in Dubuque. la., a prohibition State, and not one has been closed. Mr. George "W. Kettoman, of Penmar, Pa., has invented an ear piece for the phono graph. The contracting of disease by con tact is Impossible. A young girl rode her horse in through a store doorway at Lynchburg. Va., tbe other afternoon, made her purchases, said good by and backed gracefully ont. A St Louis young man is said to be able to stop tha music of a band by sucking a lemon in view of tbe musicians. The sight of the lemon makes their mouths water. "The Twelve Apostles " is the name of a strange variety of bird in Queensland, Aus tralia. Tbey invariably fly in flocks of 13 Tbey resemble blackbirds in appearance, hut are of a rustier color. A Kansas paper wants to get even with the grasshoppers, and extends them a cordial invitation to come and see them now. They will be tbe worst fooled lot of hoppers that ever laid waste a fair field. A hen in Paw Paw, Mich.. laid twin soft-shelled eggs the other day which were con nected, a la Siamese twins, by a ligament of the same material as the shell. A Michigan poultry man buries his chickens in sand heaps overwinter, and when -warm weather comes draws his supply of spring chickens from.the earth. William A. Hall, a convict in the New Jersey State Prison, with six years of hU seven years sentence for forgery, thinks he was con victed illegally, and is now attempting to prove it. One of Barnnm's elephants broke loose from a street parade in Muscatine, la., yester day, and killed two horses, after frightening a group of small boys and bruising several keep ers around. At St. Augustine, Fla., a strange fish was caught It measured 2J feet in length, was of the exact color of silver, and had fangs like those of a rattlesnake. It moved swifter than ordinary fish. Fort Klamath, Ore., has been aban doned as a military post. This post was made famous early in the seventies, on account of tbe war with Captain Jack's Modoc tribe, when General Canby was killed. One Oregon woman is hard to please. She has just brought suit for divorce against her fifth husband, having previously rid her self of three of the othen In tbe same way. Two of tbe reiected mates were brothers. The farmers in Yorkville. Pa., are stirred ud over tbe appearance of an animal that is killing off their tlieep in large numbers. People who have seen the animal claim tbac It is a black bear; while others say it Is a ttack dog. "Jack the Kisser" is the title bestowed upon a mysterious man in Jackson, Mictu. wbo claims to bave stolen kisses from 300 women on the streets. He became the terror of tbe town until someone discovered bis identity, when he left for another field of operation. A Wisconsin man won $10 in a novel manner. He met a lady, who, in a jest, offered to bet him 5i0 that he dared not marry her. He took the bet picked a quarrel witb a young lady to whom he was already engaged, and mar ried the fair bettor. A man distributing bills around has an educated pup to do the work for him. The man carried the bills and folded them as he walked. Every time he came to a bouse he would give one to the dog, who wonld jump over tbe fence and gravely deposit it on the doorstep. A Carbondale spiritualist, consulting a medium as to the condition of his deceased wife, was Informed she was unhappy because she was not drosed as well as the otner angels. He shelled out large sums ot money to replen ish tbe celestial wardrobe, but now, convinced of his folly, sues the medium for the return of the money. The Presidental fever comes upon a man between the ages of 55 and 6U years, was an axiom which Zachariah Chandler oricinated, and When be pa.s?d tbe latter period he thanked his stars he had never b-en afflicted. General Harrison is 57, General Alger is 55 and Mr. Reed is 51 and the exception which proves the truth of the rule. Hear Bar Harbor, Mich., lived a man wbo made bis sole object in life the winning or a heavenly crown. After bis death tbe stone placed at hi grave contained onlv bis name and dates of birth and death. Shortly after ward, the storv goes, there miraculously ap peared on tbe slab the outline of a head wear ing a crown, which still remains there. Iowa has passed a stringent tramp law. It declares that any male person 18 years of age or over who is physically able to work, who is wandering about begging or idle and wbo can not show reasonable efforts to secure employ ment, shall be deemed a tramp, sent to jail and put at bard work. While in jail he shall not bo allowed tobacco, liquors, sporting or illustrated newspapers, cards or any other means of amusement. The corpse of an Italian was shipped C. O. D. fromPueblo, Col., to Chicago, and S95 had been sent to pay some railroad fares and freight charges on the body. The box arrived marked C. O. D. S375. The consignee, refusing to pay the charge, placed tbe matter in tbe hands of tbe prosecuting attorney. Tbe health com missioner will not allow tho corpse to be sent back, and ill order its burial if it becomes a nuisance. The matter will probably be com promised for S150. MATERIAL FOR MIRTH. Going in debt accepting presents from people. Nearly all Indian tales are hair-raising stories. "Sorrtstoim Herald. The fool is pleased with himself; the wise man dissatisfied. Score one for the fooL Texas Sitings. The barber is a man who will scrape an acquaintance one moment and cut him the next. Yonkert Statesman. He (reading) Their lips met, and . She (Interrupting) Was It a protracted meet ing, I wonder? Burlington Irte Press. It's poor consolation to a hunchbacked man's creditors to hear him promise to pay when be "straightens up." St. Joseph Sews. "If you don't" give me a penny," said a younsr hopeful to bis mamma, "I know a boy that's got the measles, and I'll go and catch 'em." A gentleman having his hair cut, and being annoyed with the operator's itories, in the middle of each he said, "Cut It short." At last tbe barber, in a rage, exclaimed, "It cannot be cut shorter, for every balr on your head Is off." Waiter girl TJmmummummummum mummumerum. Experienced truest TJmmummnmmerum. Walter girl What did you say, sir? Guest Same as you did. Urine 'em along. Good Sews. "Is zis all I need?" asked the applicant Yes," said ibe official. Those are your anal naturalization papers. You are now a full-fledged American citizen, and fully prepared to vote." "Tanks. Now tell me ze ticket I must vote."-" ffeio Xork Tribune, f, fakjgfebar.i.'a ssa-u,- imt i - -" ja -ii jc&j2&ti&ftiBmf&it& ;A j.jjjjajr
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers