sWmWaaft "iWygy t'W THE KTTSBTmG- DISPATCH. SUNDAY. APRIL 13, 1890. -? l M$ B$pa&&. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY S. ISM. Vol.45, io. 6S. Enteretf at Pittsburg Postoffice November 11, 1SS7. as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smlthfleld and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street Eastern Advertising Office, Koom '45, Tribune Building, IewYork. THE DISPATCH is regularly on sale at JSrentano,s. S Union Squat e, A'eto York, where anyone uho has been disappointed at a hotel news stand can obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSTAGE THEE IX THE UKITED STATES. J)AILT DIsrATCn. One Year. 8J Daily lMsrATCii, Per Quarter Jjj Uailt Dispatch, One Mouth Daily Dispatch, IncludingSunday, lycar. 1000 Daily Dispatch, IncIudingSnnday.sm'thG. 250 Daily Dispatch, Including s-unday.linonth SO fcUXDAY Dispatch, Onelear 250 WEEKLY DISPATCH, One Year. 1 25 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at K cents per week, or Including bunday edition. st 20 cents per week. 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TErUMPHS OF INTENTION, Persons who think, as some do, that the era ol progress in inventions must come to a stop may find reason to change their opin ion from two ot the important inventions reported in this issue of The DisrATCH. The first is Edison's invention for record ing and reproducing waves of sight just -as the phonograph does with vibrations of sound. The invention of the kintograph, as the new instrument is called, is not yet developed sufficiently to determine the full ranje of its possibilities, but it can be pre dicted that the instrument will play an im portant part in the civilization of the next generation. The possibility of reproducing both the voice and the appearance of one, who at a distance addresses you by this in strument, would be a remarkable addition to the great inventions of the age. Not less interesting and hardly less im portant is the local discovery reported to day, by which one of our city pbyiscians claims The ability to determine and an alyze stains of blood on steel. In the de tection and punishment of crime such a dis covery will be of immense importance. Dr. Mundorf is a scientific man who does not usually claim more than he can demon strate; nnd it is fair to believe that his analysis of blood stains on steel is an ac complished scientific fact Two such inventions reported simulta neously are enough to show that the flights of invention are at once more daring and more successful then ever. A HEALTHY SHOWING. The figures as to the transfers of proDerty in Pittsburg and the recording ot mortgages, compiled by the Real Estate Record of last week, cive a gratifying indication of legitimate activity. During the first three months of the year there have been 3,093 conveyances of real estate with total valuations of 9,863,000. The average of a little over 3,000 apiece shows that this business was nearly entirely for the building of homes with a very slight element of speculation. This is borne out by the record of mortgages, which show that they were largely to secure debts incurred for improvements. The total o' the transfers, in valuations, nearly equals that for the last half of 1889, which was 11,827,000, while the number of conveyances in the former period was 5,710 against 3,093 in the three months just closed. These figures demonstrate the legitimacy and healthiness of the real estate movement, beyond a possibility of question. NOT WITHOUT P0WZE. The fact that a number of applicants for wholesale license were refused by the Court is raising a Btorm of objections. The de cision of the Supreme Court last year that the Judges had not discretionary power to refuse license of this description lias been relied upon by many applicants to secure them wholesale licenses; and there is no room for reasonoble doubt that a good many of those who applied for both kinds of license intended if they failed of getting retail license to conduct business of a retail description under cover of the wholesale license. The fact that the Court has not discretion ary nower does not prove that it has no powers at all. If every application carried with it the right lo a license independent of the jndgment of the Couit, the hearings would be wasted time. The Court is to de cide whether the applicant has established the statutory qualifications, prominent among which is that of good moral char acter; and the discovery is now likely to be impressed upon the public mind that the man who makes a practice of breaking the law by illicit sales of liquor fails egregiously in establishing a good moral character. "While it is not certain that the Court was infallible, it is likely to be found that the bulk of rejections of wholesale license were well founded both in reason and in law. A COLD TEA PABTY. There is a proposal before Congress to ap point a Congressional Commission to inves tigate the liquor traffic It is one of those proposals which Congress is prone to regard favorably, for the simple reason that it means a jnnket for the commissioners at the public expense. These Congressional commissions are becoming more numerous every year. They afiord such a pleasant and cheap way for Congressmen to get a holiday tour through the country. The very best of everything is not too good for a committee of Congress. They dine, wine, travel in palace cars, smoke expensive cigars, receive the at tention of local dignitaries with rare condescension, and occasionally make casual inquiries into the matter they are supposed to be investigating. That is what the in vestigation of the liquor traffic all through the United States by a Congressional com mission would mean. Congress is' putting on economical airs; cutting down 'highly needful naval appropriations, and looking as virtuous as can be. Stop these ridiculous and costly junkets, gentlemen, and the air of virtue will become you better. Besides, what is there in the liquor traffic that Congressmen do not know? If the commission be appointed it can inaugurate an excellent practice by making its report before it starts out to investigate. But Congress will do best to stick to the investi gation of cold tea in the Capitol. A WAENING. The story told by the lady whose marriage to an alleged Italian Count only a short time ago, furnishes one of the local sen sations, by the multiplicity of its sensations, completes the sensation by its revelation of postnuptial experiences, with the reputed nobility of Europe. The object lesson thus furnished on mar riages for the sake of titles, na one side, and money on the other, is a powerful one. The disclosures of greed and brutality and the discovery that even the titlewhich furnished the sale recommendation of this adventure, was not genuine, may not be reproduced in every internatioual match. But the case is, nevertheless, a remarkable example of the resnlts tnat are possible from the pecuniary notions that furnish the sole inspiration of titled heiress hunters. It is certainly an impressive warning to American girls, that marriages in which the thorough acquaintance and mutual knowl edge that can only make marriage safe are thrown aside for sordid or silly notions, bring fearful hazards in their irake. NO DISPUTE NECESSAEY. There is room for suggesting the need of restrainicg the tendency to make the gifts of our public spirited people of wealth the subject of unnecessary disputes. "With out more than alluding to the Carnegie Library matter, it is pertinent to say that the dispute over the donation of Mrs. Schen ley of a site for the Blind Asylum can be avoided. Sirs. Schenley having seen fit to offer a particular site to the institution, it certainly was not the function of the man agers to reject the offer or to say that they would prefer another location. Another site might be preferable; indeed it seems as if for that purpose a rural neighborhood would be better. But the managers of the asylum were certainly acting within their rights to take what Mrs. Schenley offered them. On the other hand the interests of the city need not suffer at all. If the location is needed for the main entrance to Schenley Park, the city can condemn the property, and with the money paid for the land needed, the asylum managers can find ground for their institution somewhere else. It should be recognized that here are two organizations each acting within their own rights for the public welfare. Their inter ests may conflict somewhat; but the law provides so clear a method for settling any such conflict that it ought to be possible to get along without disputes. "When such splendid donations are being made to the public it is not a matter for congratulation that a quarrelsome spirit should arise among the disputants. POT HUNTING IN APEICA. The feat of some ot the gilded youth of our countrv in journeying to the interior of Africa and returning with a proud record of two hundred elephants slain and left on the plains of Masai-land, indicates that the United States is repaying to the older hem isphere the extinction of its buffalo by European pot hunters which took place after the opening of the Pacific railroads. European comment is not unnaturally quite severe upon the sportsmanship which takes delight in destroying animal life for no purpose except that of indiscriminate slaughter. It is clear that if this sort of hunting is kepi up, the elephants of Africa are as surely doomed as the buffalo of our plains. Hunting for ivory, to be used in commerce, or to supply food for the popula tion of the district is legitimate. But, as Stanley has pointed out, the ravages of hun ters have already driven the big game from vast tracts of Atrican territory, and is ex terminating what might be preserved as the food supply for railroad labor and the popu lation of Africa lor future years. The civilized taste for wholesale slaughter as a sport ought to be restrained; but there is a degree of poetical justice that as the Old "World sportsmen helped exterminate our buffalo, the Nimrods of the New "World are paying it back by wiping out the ele phants of Africa. THE VALUE OF WATEE-WAYS. The opening of the season of lake and canal navigation is not only accompanied by a stimulation of. business in the cities along that line of transportation, but it also shows its influence on the conditions of trade and agriculture. "With the water route open there is no likelihood that the farmers whose grain can be shipped that way will be forced to burn up their products for fuel, or prove unable to ship the most im portant staples to market. The effect of that great water-way is an example of what might be done by an adequate plan of con necting the headwaters of the Ohio with the seaboard. Such a route would give cheap water transportation all the way from the Missouri to the East. Under such circumstances Kansas would not be re quired to burn its corn for fuel, nor would the coal of Pennsylvania be restricted by railway discrimination in seeking markets either to the East or West. The project is one of national importance and should not be lost sight of. THE POEK COENEE. The pork corner, which jnmped the price of that staple yesterday irom about 10 to over $14, furnishes an example of the vice of speculation. It was not necessarily deal ing in futures that caught the fellows who are to be pinched by the corner, but it was dealing in futures without any intention of filling the contract except by selling the differences, or paying the bet, that made it possible for the unwary shorts to besqueezed. Another -point thrusts itself on the at tention. This corner would be impossible unless the supply ot pork were somewhat depleted. For the last few months the country has heard a great deal about the over-supply of corn, and the hardships of the Western farmers by reason of the de pression of the price of that staple. The Dispatch has suggested that matters for the farmers might be improved if they con verted their corn into pork, instead of burn ing it up. The conclusion is pretty well demonstrated by this advance in the price of pork. "We regret to observe that the bad ex ample set by a typographical error In The Disfatch some time ago, of referring to our city as"Pillsbury," has spread until itthreatens to become epidemic Dunlop's Stage Ifews in sists on locating all our dramatic events in that mythical town, the last cue peing a statement that Mr. Henderson is going to build a new theater at'Pfllsbury." We hereby serve no tice on all our cotemporaries that Pittsburg will take credit tor all the statesmen, theaters and manufacturing establishments that may hereafter be credited to that wholly apocryphal city. The Allegheny Mayoralty contest seems to be degenerating Into a fight on technicali ties. Considering that the only question ought to be who got the most legal votes, the dispo sition to take refuge behind hair splitting Is not a commendable one. The discovery that a labor boss in one of tbo Bbarpsburg mills bas been assessing each of the men wbo got positions under him from fifty cents to a dollar each payday, and has finally lit oat with the proceeds, is an illustra tion of the various ways in which crookedness can levy bnrdens on the ignorant. The practice, if It is as charged, was a peculiarly extortion ate one, and reveals the depths to which the wages of unassimllated labor can be squeezed down, where people are unscrupulous enough to do it. The report that "Gould and the Vander bilts are negotiating," is calculated to make common people take a new grip on any little unconsidered trifles of property that may have escaped the absorption of the railway combi nation. The disposition of the New York papers to attack the World tor its sensationalism is natural and perhaps not wholly unjustifiable; but when the charge is made tbat its account of the Adriatic's leaving the City of Paris was blackmail it amounts to an exceedingly mean piece ot small poUto newspaper jealousy. The mistake made by the World was the mistake of all the passengers on the disabled steamer; and its report was practically the same as tbat made by the Associated Press, The fight is reported to be on again between Scott and Wallace, while tbat between Quay and the kickers has never been off. The pros pect is a promising one for interesting scrim mages before the nominations are made The confession of that Chicago servant girl who poisoned her employers with rat poison, because she Intended to poison herself for disappointed love, but thought she would try it on the family first, has a grim humor about it that would be funny if it were not so serious. Hereafter rules for domestic service will stipulate that the servants shall try poison on themselves first, and if it does not kill them, conclude that it will be useless to try it on tbe family. The stiffening of prices in iron is war ranted by the strong demand and enhanced cost of materials. But the slowness with which prices advance convey the warning that a boom would quickly collapse The representatives of the Associated Press have neeu provided with admission to the electrical execution of Kemmler at Buf falo. The official opinion seems to be tbat the law forbidding newspaper accounts of execu tions, being like the Constitution of Pennsyl vania, self-enforcing, can be left to enforce it self. The law is a foolish one, but should not even foolish laws be enforced if they cau be? An electric combination whose capital is fixed at $50,000,000 evidently pays as much at tention to water power a3 a financiering force as to electrical power as a material force. The telephone connection to "Wheeling broke up the little game of a sharper yesterday who tried to work off a bogus check on a Wheeling bank upon the manager ot tbe Curry Institute. Hereafter, tbe ohevaliers of crookedness who wish to get worthless checks cashed will do wisely to steer clear of offices with telephones. With a new brand of cigars named after Nellie Bly, Pittsburg's female globe-trotter seems likely to have made at least a qualified success in setting the world on fire. The presumptive republic of Brazil has sketched out a constitution for itself. Being modeled on the North American plan, it is a good one. If the Brazilians adopt it they will be on an equality with the United States, and if they live carefully up to its principles they will be just so much ahead of us. Tammany disapproves of Tom Piatt, and Tom Piatt disapproves of Tammany. Both are entirely correct so long as they do not in dorse themselves. Sixty per cent reduction in the sugar duties would do a great deal toward taking sugar out of politics. That, is the Sugar Trusts' kind of sugar. The old political sugar will still exercise its influence antil deeper reforms than that of tariff duties can be made. PROMINENT PEOPLE. Senator Mobbili. will celebrate his 80th birthday to-morrow, Ex-Governor Pollock's condition is not so encouraging. He is decidedly weaker than at any time since bis arrival in Lock Haven. Chablxs Emory Smith is still in London, and seems loth to exchange its attractions for those of the Russian capital, to which he is dip lomatically accredited. General B. F. Cutler has accepted tbe invitation of tbe Port Royal Society to attend the twenty-fifth anniversary of the restoration of the Union flag over Fort Sumpter. Mifflin Paul, founder of Seabright, died Thursday morning at Seabright of heart fail ure, aged 76. He was very wealthy and owned a vast amount of property at tbat place The regents of tbe University of Kansas have elected Frank H. Snow, president and professor of natural science, to the chancellor ship, which has been vacant since last July. Among the passengers on tho steamer Elder yesterday was Hon. John Billon on bis way from Australia in improved health, to resume bis. duties in the British House of Commons. General W. T. Sherman has declined all invitations that will prevent bis being in Bos ton during the second week of August, as he desires to participate in the national encamp ment of the G. A B., which begins on August 12. General Crook was a man of very strong affections. The last time tbat he was at tbe old homestead near Dayton, O., was on Sep tember S. 1878, his fiftieth birthday. He told bis brothers then that it would ba long beforo be would return. "The fact is," he said, "it is easier for me to stay away from here than to get away if X come here. It hurts less." A dispatch from Cannes says that Mr. Stan ley has declined King Leopold's invitation to attend the Anti-Slavery Congress now sitting in Brussels. Dr. Parks, who accompanied Mr. Stanley on his expedition to the inferior of Africa, and who is now with him at Cannes, de clares tbat Emin Pasha is suffering from an incurable cataract, and that before a year elapses ho will be blind. A Good Deal of Opining. Trom the New York Tribune. J An Englishman who has been in this city three days bas discovered that American news papers never think anything; they always opine." Come to think of it, there is a good deal of "opining" in this country. But then we don't exclaim, "Only fahncy, now," quite as often as a native of the tight little isle. Opposition to tbe lee Monopoly. CHESTER, April 12. Chester hotel keepers, butchers. Ice-cream makers and other large consumers of ice have organized a company for the manufacture of ice. This is a protec tive movement, as the Ice companies have ad vanced the price 75 per cent over last year's prices. Over $33,000 worth of stock has been taken. A Blow nt Corporal Pnnlibment. From tbe Buffalo Express. The superintendent of the Boston public schools bas struck a severe blow at corporal punishment by asserting tbat the poorest teachers do the most flogging. Incompetent teachers will be apt to refrain from tbe ferrule to avoid advertising tbeir shortcomings. A Mad Alternative, From the New York Herald. Women have captured the town ot Edgerton, Kan., on tbe issue of no screens to tbe' billiard saloons, and the men Jiave now to face tbe al ternatl ve of improving their play or putting up Heir ciert THE TOPICAL TALKER. The Ten of the Tooib-Brmh Tlie Crazr Clock In City Ilall How a Woman Whiles Away Her Time Some New and True Snnko Stories. The tcoth-brnsh might be termed the test of birth and breeding. Not long ago in a town not a million miles from Pittsburg a certain woman, wbo had been all ber life previous in very bumble circum stances, suddenly fell into a large fortune. By the way there is nothing so convenient and pleasant to possess as a distant relative who is willing to die at an appropriate moment and leave you a cool million or so. Doubtless this poor woman who inherited mote money tban she knew what to do with from a man she had hardly known wore mourning for him In all sincerity. But could her flesh be blamed for rejoicing at tbe banishment of poverty's cruel counselors? But it was not to philosophize on the effects ot a sadden access of riches that this story was begun. She built a great bouse, furnished it sumptuously, and then went down to tbe drug store. Sbo bought no end of those curiously useless glmcracks which accumulate on drug gist's counters, and last of all she said to tbe young man with the well-oiled bang who was waiting upon ber: "You may put up Bix or seven of your best tooth-brushes, please I want one for each of tbe spare rooms!" "Why doesn't somebody sue the city for keep ing a crazy clock in the tower of City Hall? It is a nuisance of tbe worst sort, and one which affects almost everybody. Mapoleon recommonded audacity as a use ful thing for a general or a statesman to have around the house. It has found favor in tbe eyes of an upholsterer of whom I bavo beard tell. He sold a mattress to a lady who was furnish ing a new town house. The mattress was sup posed to be made of hair. When it was de livered, however, tho fair housekeeper who happened to bo country.born fancied she smelt about It a familiar odor, that remlnaed ber of haying-time The odor for once was distasteful to indelicate nostrils, and she attacked the mattress with a knife. Lo and beholdl there was a haymow, and not a solitary hair to be seen. She sent for the upholsterer. He came and almost shed tears over the haymow. - "Madam," said be, "I will see to it myself that) rou get a genuine bair mattress at once." By and by tbe second mattress came. It did not smell of hay. Still a subtle and perplex ing smell hung about tbe guaranteed article. The fair housekeeper was puzzled, but she had come to be suspicious of hair mattresses. Once more she applied tbe knife to the ticking, and opened a corner of tbe mattress. Tbis time hair, genuine horse hair, revealed itself. But more pungent and peculiar than ever, an odor also came from the dark continent of the mat. tress. Further investigation was imperative Sbe ripped off the whole covering of the mat tress, and still undeniably real bair met her eye everywhere Casually her sleeve button caught in the hair, and as she raised it the secret of tbe mattress and the odor came to light. There was nothing more than a thin layer over a substratum of rags, not too clean rags at that. Sbe did not change mattresses any more. Sbe changed unnolstetcrs. From which we may conclude that audacity is not always profitable in an upholsterer even in himself. T7 ate Is not always kiud, and yesterday after noon I found myself in the heart of a dry goods store in Allegheny, with several hundred infuriated female shoppers on all sides. As I was extricating myself from this perilous position, I encountered a lady I knew, Sbe said: "Tbis is just dreadful! I missed the 2 o'clock train, and I have had to put in an hour here al. most to while away tbe time." "Why come here?" I asked, "and how do you while away tbe time?" "Ob, just looking at things," she answered. "It's very tiresome, though," she added, as a young woman deposited a great pile of lace goods in front of her. "It must be expensive, too," I remarked. "Ob, dear, nol 1 don't think of buying any. thing, you know." Cnake stories are usually told by men. Man seems to be privileged to see more snakes tban woman, although it will be remembered tbat tbe first snake story of all was told by Eve. Still the narrator of the following scrap of veracious history was of the fair sex. She said: "About four miles from Lake Helen, in Volusia county, Fla., there is a gloomy cypress swamp, known as Deep creek. There is, prop erly speaking, no road through this swamp, bnt it is possible to drive through it. if one has lota of nerve and a very high vehicle. The nerve is needed because moccasin snakes make this swamp their rendezvous, and your buggy must be high because you have to drive through water tbat at times is over the hubs. People make the trip as they voluntarily go down into tbe chamber of horrors at the Eden Musee Once had, the experience lasts a lifetime. "For about a mile and a balf you drive be tween cypress trees that meet and interlace above your head. It Is a dim twilight at mid day, and the way is so narrow that to get through seems Impossible. But the acute hor ror of the place lies not in tbe funereal light, tbe great grim trees or tbe dark waters tbrongb which the wheels churn their way. From the big cypress trees hang innumerable moccasins. Clinging by their tails they hang down till their heads are low enough to touch the toD of tbe buggy. Tbat reminds me tbat it is advisable to have the top up, unless you want a sleepy moc assin dropping into your lap every minute or so." i pvERYBODT who gets within 20 miles of Deep creek feels the fascination of the place, it appears. Once a couple, decidedly elderly, be was over 80 and she would never see 70 again, beard of the wonderful cypress trees and their weird decorations and came over to go through Deep creek. They reached the place abont sunset, but in spite of the objections of tbe man who drove their carriage they insisted on making the passage. They were horribly frightened for their pains, and when they bad traversed tbe mile and a half of swamp they offered the driver any sum he liked to take them back another way. But there was no other way. In tbe pitch darkness tbe return trip was made. Just as they emerged upon dry land they met four drunken men who were bent upon crossing the swamp. fN another occasion a timid and extremely nervous girl was bantered by her compan ions into tbe ordeal of Deep Creek. One ot those who bad teased her into the at tempt went before ber on horseback. She made things worse, for she kept hitting-ih sleepy moccasins with her whip, causing them to fall upon the buggy in which her timorous friend was following. The result was tbat tbe latter fainted dead away before balf the distance was traversed, and they bad a dickens of a time .getting her out of the swamp. Hepburn Johns. Net Appropriately Named. Prom the San Francisco Alta, Tho parents of triplets in a North Dakota town have named them Faith, Hope and Char ity. That is pure Dakotese. The State was admitted on faith, it has no hope, and has bawled for charity ever since it got into the Union. Rlvnla In tbe Business. From ihe New York Times. Dr. Peters rivals Stanley now in the number of times he has been slain by the dispatches and regularly brought to life again. DEATHS OP A DAY. John Grognn. John Grogan, a member of Soutbslde Council, of the Jr. O. V. A. it., died yesterday afternoon, of consumption. Members of the council will meet at Weber's Halt, corner Twenty-seventh and Sarah streets, at 1 P. at. Monday and proceed to the residence of the deceased, No. 507 Forbes street. Tbe burial will take place in Allegheny cemetery. ' JHnrqnla Tseng. Paris, April' 12. Marquis Tien, the well known Chinese statesman, and former Minister to the courts of London, Paris and St. Peters burg, is dead. Joseph Adnma. Joseph Adams, proprietor of tbe Mansfield Hotel, died Thursday morning. The funeral services will be held to-day. Mr. Adams was one of the oldest residents of MansCeld. Alexander L. Martinez. TonoNTO, April 12. Alexander L. Martinez, i Deputy Minister of Education, of this province, tuea last cvcuiuk ui yucuiuvuia. TJNPR0PITI0US WEATHER Enable Queen Tietoria to Pat In Her Spare Time on That Uniform. tBT C4BLS TO TITS DISPATCH, 1 London, April 12. The clerk of the weather bas bad so many worries in America of late that be bas quite forgotten tbe fact that Queen Victoria ,is sojourning for the benefit of her health at Alx Les Bains, and has allowed her rubicund royal features to be rudely nipped by piercing cold winds instead of sending the invalid Majesty the balmy breezes for which sno had bargained and to which courtiers con sider sbe was entitled. The court news man, in tbe course of his daily duty, has been more than once compelled to inform tbe world tbat Her Majesty has felt the cold, and a wail of sympathy, with an undertone of loyal indigna tion against the clerk aforesaid, has been beard through the length and breadth of Great Britain. But if tbe weather in Savoy has smacked somewhat of the North pole, it has not been altogether without compensating ad vantages, for it has enabled Queen Victoria to give more attention to tbe manufacture ot the new uniform which sbe proposes to- wear, in defiance of the unmilitary mold in which nature has cast her, during her approaching visit toDarmstadt,in virtue of her rank as Col onel of a regiment of Prussian dragoon guards. Particulars as to the shape, color and texture of the uniform are discreetly withheld from a scoffing world, except in regard to the jacket tunic, which, we are graciously permitted to know, Is of brigbt blue clotb, with a red collar adorned with gold stripes and the Queen's monogram in bullion. It cannot be denied that this description is incompleto and unsatisfac tory. For the sake of tbe ladles wbo read Tbe Dispatch, your Berlin correspondent has striven earnestly to raise the veil behind which the German tailors are working upon Colonel Victoria Regina's uniform, but so far he bas ignominiously failed. THE WAYS OP WORLDLINGS. Human Nature Portrayed With n Pen Flow ing With Wit and Philosophy. rWBITTBN TOR TBI DISPATCH. A Spring Ode. I. (What the poet wrote.) The buds begin to deck tbe trees, All cloudless Is the sky; There's perfume In the vernal breeze; Tbe fowl Is banging high! II. (The exact state of the weather when the poet's lines appeared.) All gaunt and naked were tbe trees. And overcast the sky; Tbe snow came down, the boreal breeze Piled a rifts up six feet blgb. (Moral.) Though poets need not cease to sing, This fact Is very clear: They should not sing about the spring Until the summer's here. Tbe Plea Didn't Save II Im. Judge You bear what the officer says, prisoner, that you took a satchel from tbe Grand Central depot yesterday? Prisoner It Is true Your Honor, but I don't think that I.stjould be punished for taking such a little thing as a satchel, when people who take bigger things are not Interfered with. Judge Kxplaln yourself. Prisoner Why, just before 1 took tbe satchel, I saw a man taking a train and nobody molested him! Giving Up Smoking. Although he'll refuse without doubt, to confess. No matter bow hard he is pressed When a youth gives up smoking 'tis easy to guess: It is at some fair maiden's request. And when be at some future period, resumes The pipe, cigarette or cigar. And more of the "soother" than ever consumes He's married -or there's been ajar. Conldn't Do It. Customer I am Just fitting up a new office and want some pens, Ink and paper, and I want 'em on time. Stationer Can't sell on time. C.-No? 8. No; His Impossible to keep running ac counts tn our business. C.-WbT so? S. Because our business Is stationery. About Tbis Benson. Tbe sealskin sacque-the ladles doff It And lighter wraps put on. And of the lying weather prophet Tbe occupation's gone. A Conundrum Answered. Arabella asks: What Is the difference between an artist's model and a pugilist? The difference, dear. Is that the artist's model puts himself in a striking attitude while the pugilist puts himself in an attitude to strike- He Goea to That Hease No More. "I would I were a bird, " she sang; He sild, "I would you were; Your cage outside I then would bang And let yon warble there." On an Ocean Steamship. Bmlth-There's old Moneybags leaning over tbe rail; he's as sick a man as I ever saw. Jones What's he leaning over tli?rall for? g. Making contributions, to Neptune, . Then, by Jove, they are the first contribu tions be ever made to anything ia his life I There's Some Difference. You may safely call your sweetheart your precious kitten, but It Isn't safe to call your wife your dear old cat. , At the Charity Concert. "That girl can't sing at all; it is a mere bawl,) "Yes, a charity bawl." A Paradox. "I am lost, " said the defaulter, and strange to say, It was just after he was round out. They cmlle. Two men who have promised each other to drink no more Intoxicating liquors for a year, accident ally meet in a sample room. Says tbe first: "1 I came in to look for a friend." " Says the second: "So did I." "Do you see your friend?" "Yes, 1 think I see him on the shelf there be hind the bar." "Why, tbat Is Just the friend 1 was looking for." Then they smile. Worth Ten Thonannd. Two friends meet after a separation of ten years. "How are you doing, old man?" asks one. "Middling." , 'llich. I suppose?" "Not worth a cent." , "Married?" "No. How are you doing?" "Well, they say every child a man bas Is worth 12,000 to him. I'm worth sic, 000; l'ye got five children." Where Ignorance I Bliss, Etc, The mark he surely did not miss, As fools may e'en surmise, Who wrote: "Where Ignorance is bliss 'Tis folly to be wise" We eat the maple sugar sweet. And (eel ourselves In clprer Ne'er thinking tbat the saccharine treat Is last year's melted over. A Paraphrase. Tbe culprit climbed tbe scaffold stair, Tbe noose bung o'er his bead: And as he saw it dangling there "Well. I'll be hanged!" he said. Felt He Wouldn't Salt. Count Pinchbeck Your rather' Is a political re-, former. Miss Box? Miss Box Yes; nothing but an honest count tW1 suit him. Count!'. Then I wlllwlib yon a very good good evening. Sparks. When the Impecunious man takes bis Watch to the pawnbroker's he realizes that time Is money. "Talk Is cheap." Back talk sometimes costs the talker a black eye. Tbe man who thinks he Is brigbt Is seldom In clined to keep It dark. "A cood reputation," says an exchange "is made by never being found out." Yes, among bill collectors. Lovely Woman's Eye. Anent female beauty, the state of the case is As all men aver wbo are wise There-never were yet on tbe eartb homely faces In which there were love-beaming eyes. Oeoiice Hurseli. Jackson. Will Bent Knpld Transit. From tbe Philadelphia Inquirer. If people in a hurry to get to their destina tions will start as soon as the waltune is good they will cat there before rapid transit over takes them. THE MARTYR PRESIDENT. To-Morrovr Is Ihe Twenty-Flfili Annl- ' versnry of ihe Untimely Taking Off of Abraham Lincoln Tbe Bright Sunlight ot Victory Followed by the Dark Cloud of Assassination. "iWRITTKN FOR THE DISPATCH. 'Twenty-five years ago since the dawn of peace glistened and brightened tbe skies of tbis land. Tbe weary and bloody months of death and ruin and destruction had passed away, and under the Appomattox- tree in the early days of April. 1565. the last act in the great drama of tho battles bad taken place It was April 7 when General Robert E.Lee folded the standard of the Confederacy and ended his soldier career forever. The news had flashed over the country amid the booming of cannon, tbe ringing of joy bells and tbe cheers of count less thousands. Were not tbe dark days gone forever and were not millions of homes to be made gladsome again by the presence of loved ones who had stood for years in the shadow and peril of death. It was a time of exultation at the North, and even in the Sonth there were sighs ot relief that the ruin and desolation wrought by tbe war was at last ended. Sevan days after the surrender cams tho news that whitened tbe faces of the men and women of the North and made their fellow-countrymen at tbe South stand In sbuddering horror as they were told of theterrible crime. On the night of April 14. 1S63, Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. For a moment the heart of tbe nation stood still. Tbe mighty cloud of sable which fell over all was but as a shadow from tbe midnight abyss of the nation's gloom. Everywhere there was a vast and overmastering sense of personal woe. The tracedv itself took on blackness by contrast with tbe roseate hues by which tbe week's opening hours were made so refulgent xi. juoreu irom tne antnem ot praise to tne mournful march of death. Nothing In our four years of marvelous emotions approached it in power and intensity. The Greatness of the Man. 'J'nESE scenes are all recalled because after all they were of the very marrow of tbe so emn occasion. Tbe marvelous outbursts of grief that shook the nation taught tbe world as could not otherwise have been the case, how firmly Abraham Lincoln's name and honor was plant ed in the hearts of all the people. Party lines faded. Even foes were as one in the common grief. Within the lines of the ex-Confederacy the evidence was abundant of a terrible grief. Tbe Southerners felt indeed as if in their ex tremity they had lost tbeir protector, and no where was Mr. Lincoln's death more sincerely mourned tban in tbe section against which he bad nnswervingly for four long years pressed tbe mighty forces of the Union, Indeed it was an awful epoch I One may well wonder how much heredity had to do with tbe making of Abraham Lincoln, gaunt, homely man of six foot four, whose fate it was to lead the "Democracy of the average" Into the loftier realms of heroic growth and to fall as victim by tbo assassin's hand of a slave crazed player. It is certain that the limestone waters and nnra atmnnhfra nt Kentuckv and Illinois bad much to do with the great figure, large bones and huge stature ot this genuine man of tbe people. How much bad his simple ancestry to do with tbe mold and quality of bis brain? The Lincoln strain was purely Saxon in character far more Teutonic even tban tbe Prussian or Brandenburg, wbo Indeed is a good deal of a Slavonian. Tbe first Ameri can Lincoln settled in Massachusetts, and was from Norfolk, tbe English shrine wnlch was tbe center of the Angles' invasion and settle ment. From Massachusetts to Pennsylvania and thence to Virginia, until Abraham's grand father settled in Virginia. The close companion of Daniel Boone, after tbe Revolution he moved with his friend into Kentucky. "Old Abe" was horn in Hardin, Ohio. The Mnryrs's Mother. Tt was, however, from his mother that Lin coln got tbe finer gray matter ot his brain and that temperament which was so powerful an ally of his beneficent mentality. Nancy Hanks came of a West Briton stock the old Cymruan Celt, transferred therefrom to Ire land and toncbed to quickening spirit by Milesian activity. Tbe Dublin Hanks, a famous Quaker family of tbe English roll, claim a very direct collateral connection with tbe American Hanks, of which Nancy was one of tbe insignificant members when living. General Hanks, one of Cromwell's commanders In tbe subjugation of Ireland, was of tbe same stock. But that was a wonderful period in which Abraham Lincoln was made. Born in 1809, the Kentucky boy became a man conscious of power just as tbe political influences of tbe slave system began to assert themselves. What was learned was thorougbly and it whetted tbeir appetites for more It was not really till after 1820 that tbero came into being those combinations on botb sides of the Ohio wblch led so steadily up to Civil War or secession. In 1830 Abraham Lincoln was 21, fully able to take bis place on tbe one side or tbe other. He was of the non-slaveholding class, of tbosa who but a tew years later and on until tbe war ended, were known as "poor, wblte trash." All along tbe eastern foothills and bench of the Appalachians, from the Potomac to Geor gia, descendants of tbe men who followed Marion and Sumpter, were forced back to the harsber hill farms or out of the region into tbe Ohio Valley, by tho growth o( tbe plantations and tbe profits created by tbo cotton-gin, slave breeding and owning. These, men and women hated slavery; generally, too, they bated tbe "nigger." Abraham was too philosophically broad-minded to hate, but be stood strongly on the side of free labor. Tbe central and soutbern counties of Illinois and Indiana wore full of tbe class of which be came and of whom and be yond be bas been the noblest representative. Brigbt Men of tbe Time. TTHAT a galaxy of young fellows they were In Sangamon county in Lincoln's young manhood. Henden and Shield one cold and the other hot, florid, not to say flurried. David Davis, prudent and careful beyond his years, a judge even in bis earliest pro'sing. John Cal houn, one of Lincoln's earliest friends, is an other of tbe forgotten ones. Yet be once filled a somewhat memorable niche in a rather in famous sauabble as tbe verdict of history goes. Calhoun was Buchanan's Surveyor General In the Territory of Kansas, and was the leader ot the Constitntional Convention whose abortive piece of work was one of tbe serious misfor tunes of tbe Democratic party in tbe decade preceding the civil war. Mr. Calhoun was "Abe" Lincoln's chief when the latter was a Deputy County Surveyor. Among his younger associates was Senator Bud, Colonel Baker, of Oregon, and "Dick" Yates, afterward Governor and United States Senator from Illinois tbe executive wbo commissioned Grant as a Colonel. Mr. Lincoln himself used to tell a story of Colonel Baker which always made considerable laughter at that gentleman. He was of English birth, and as a boy asrell as a man be was very handsome. Lincoln .was a little older, and Baker went home balf dis posed to cry one evening. On being asked what was the matter, be sobbed out that it was a shame he bad been born in England and would never be President, while "ugly Abu" was sure to be. Even then the quaint and able youug lawyer Impressed everyone with his power. The Men of ihe Present. JTe abe more complex and varied now, but tbere have been losses as well as gain. It would be hard for present condltious to breed a lire, and character molded on such simple yet harmonious lines as those which Abraham Lincoln possessed outwardly and inwardly. The wonderful harmony of bis character was as complete as tbat of tbe mighty prairie land in which be grew to greatness. He stands to day as one ol tbe five most distinguished Americans. The heritage which Abraham Lincoln left be hind him to the nation u as one of fraternity, loyalty and charity. "With charity toward all malice to none," be told the living generation, and bis words re-echo through the 23 years since he closed his eyes forever, that it is their duty to see to it that "government by the peo ple, through the people, for tbe people sball not perish from tbe face of the eartb' Liet it De said to tbe honor ol this nation tnat its people have not unworthily filled out tbeir dead hero's demand and bequest. S, G, N. Barefaced Perjury. Prom the Philadelphia Bulletin. President Gompers, "of tbe Federation of Labor, as a witness before tbe Congressional committee, expressed the opinion tbat present methods are not sufficient to keen out contract immigrants. He thinks tbat tbe men appointed to enforce tbe law are not in sympathy with it, and that their formal questions to immigrants are hot sufficient. He suggests the employment of secret service officers to mingle with newly arrived immigrants for tbe purpose of collect ing evidence. The Congressmen must have been impressed with the difficulty of the problem be fore them, as barefaced perjury dbcurred under their immediate notice while they were in session. Touching n Tender Spat. From tbe New York Sun. The Hon. William McKinley can never be come the candidate of Massachusetts for President. If his tariff bill had merely tanned the hide of the Bay State, all might have been forgiven. But when ho" proposes a tariff of about 300 per cent on beans, tbe proud old Commonwealth of James Otis and John Sulli van revolves upon her ear in a dance of frenzy. A tax on brains would not have hurt Massa chusetts much pf late years, but a high tariff on beans might be fatal to her. If tbe Re publicans are rash enough to assault beans, Massachusetts may be a Democratic State A SURPRISED CONGREGATION. A White Doto Enters a Church nnd Makes Itself at Home. ISPECIAt, TXfJCGBAX TO TUB DISrATCH.l Syracuse, April 12. The Syracuse Confer ence of tbe Wesleyan Methodist denomination held lts'session near Chittengo station this last week, and at the close of the morning service four young men were ordained elders. Alter tbe laying on of bands, according to tbe usual custom, prayer was offered, during which a beautiful white dove flew In at tbe door which had been left open for ventilation, and alighted on tbe open Bible on tbe pulpit. From there it flew to and rested upon tbe heads ot two of the young men wbo were being ordained, then upon tbe bead of the eldest member of the Conference, who was present, and then back to the Bible In a few moments it arose and rested upon tbe head of Kev. A. W. Hall, financial agent of the denomination, and while the Rev. E. W. Bruce, of Borne, was extending tho right hand of fellowship to those who were ordained and expressing to them words of welcome and encouragement, it lighted upon his bead and remained tbere until be had nearly concluded tbe ceremony, wben it flew back to the Bible and remained tbere until tbe service closed. It was not at all frightened, and all its movements were voluntary. it is a tame dove which bad been raised in the neighborhood, but had never been in the cburch before, and came at tbat time of its own accord. Its presence and movements pro duced a feeling of deepest awe among tbe congregation, and tbe scene will never be for gotten by those who witnessed it. Fish and GSnme Association. Honksdale, April 12. A charter has been asked for the Wayne County Fish and Game Association with tbe following officers: Presi dent, George 8. Purdy; Vice Presidents, Thomas J. Ham and C E. Knapp; Secretary. W. M. Gardner: Treasurer, E. C. Mumford: Managers, Gilbert Wblte. F. G. Farnham, W. S. Lambert. G. W.Lane. O. M. Spettigue. O. L. Rowland and Dr. Robert V. Brady. Two hun dred thousand brook trout fry have been planted in the public streams hereabouts this spring. A MEDAL OF HONOR. President Harrison nnd senator Erarta Unite in Its Presentation. Washington, April 12. A small company assembled in tbe Blue Parlor of tbe White House at noon to-day to witness tbe formal presentation of a medal to Joseph Francis In recognition uf his services in the construction and perfection of life-saving appliances. The medal is four Inches in diameter and contains J7C0 worth of pure. gold. Tbe total cost of tbe medal, exclusive of tbe design, was over 53.000. There were present tbe President. Jlrs.McKee, Mrs.Nimmlck, Senators Evans, Blair and Rea gan, Representative Buchanan and a number of ladies. Mr. Francis was accompanied by bis son and Mrs. Johnson, an intimate friend. Tbe ceremonies were simple and consisted only of an address :by Senator Evarts. repre senting Congress, an address by tbe President, and a brief response of thanks by Mr. Francis, wbo was so overcome tbat he could npt com. plete bis remarks. To Search Persons for Firearms. Wilmamsvobt, April 12. In view of the fact that several policemen in various parts of the State have been shot recently by men whom they arrested. Chief of Police Russell, by ad vice of tbe Mayor, bas Instructed his officers to search all prisoners immediately after tbey are taken into custody. Tbis order applies on every arrest niade, no matter what the charge against tbe prisoner is. It is believed it will hare a good effect on tbe rougher element, as concealed weapons found upon tbem would be followed by prosecution. 0DR ROAD EXPEDITION. The Resnlts to be Obtained Cnnnot be Other wise Tban Beneficial. From the Youngstown Telegram. With a view of ascertaining the exact con dition of the country roads through Pennsylva nia, and obtaining information as to wbat is needed in the way of road improvements. The Pittsbubo Dispatch has started out an ex ploring expedition to traverse the roads in tbe western and central portions ot tbe State A corps of competent men accompany the expe dition, which will be takeu in a wagon, with a view of ascertaining facts, and obtaining in formation by personal inspection and inter viowswith residents along the roads as to wbat is needed to improve tbe highways of tbe State Tbe results obtained cannot be otherwise tban beneficial in throwing light upon tbe question of road improvements, and the enter prise ot The Dispatch is to be commended. Foceral of Robert Morrow. Tho funeral of Robert Morrow, late Yard master of tbe Panhandle Railway, will take place this afternoonfrom bis late residence.No. 105 Webster avenue. Tbo floral tributes by the railway employes are unusually fine and ex tensive Deceased was a member of a number of societies, among them tbe Royal Arcanum. He" was an active member of the County De mocracy. SUMMER ENCAMPMENT. Governor Denver and Adjutant-General Uniting Making Arrangements. Hakiusburg. April 12. Governor Beaver and Adjutant-General Hasting were in Latrobe conferring with Mr. Robert Coleman on tbe arrangements at Mt. Gretna for tbe division encampment tbis summer. It was suggested that the grounds be enlarged, and Mr. Coleman met that with the information that he bad al ready enlarged the grounds and that he further intended to enlarge the parade grounds. , A line of railway has been run from the mam line of the railroad to the rifle range, where there is considerable room, and it is very likely that a brigade will be encamped id tbat vicinity. The United States troops will also encamp at tbe same time as tbe Guard. Gen eral Hastings will meet tbe bpigado command ers at lit. Gretna next Monday. Philadelphia Will Cherish His Memory. From the Philadelphia ltecord. In tbe death ot tbe vonerable George H. Stuart, Philadelphia has lost one of ber most valued citizens. He was a great merchant, a distinguished phllantbrophist, and an honest. God-fearing man. His memory will long be cherished in this city as a possession to be proud of." A SEW STORY ABOUT LINCOLN. No Particular Place for Aaylhlag Because He Didn't Have the Placr. The Chicago 2Vi5une tells tbe following: "Although Mr. Lincoln was methodical In many things he was Blovenly In some of the de tails of his busiuess. He bad no particular place for anything, for tbe reason, may be, tbat be didn't have the particular place One smiles as be sees a yellow bit ot paper, which was evi dently a binding for a bundle of papers, on which are written these grinning words: "Wben. you can't find it anywhere else look in this." "It" meant something which Mr. Lincoln knew would be wanted some time, and as there was no particular place for "It" "it" was liable to be slipped Into tnerbundle around which was this binding. KNEELING AT TI1E THRESHOLD. I'm kneeling at tbe threshold, weary, faint and sore. Waiting for the dawning, for the opening of tbe door Waiting till the master shall bid me rise and come To the glory of his presence, to the gladnes of bis borne. A weary path I've traveled, 'mid darkness, storm and strife Bearing many a burden, struggling for my life: But now the morn Is breaking my toll will soon be o'er; I'm kneeling at the thresbold-my hand Is on the door. llethlnks I bear the voices of the blessed as they stand Slngine in the sunshine of the far-off, sinless land. Ub, would that I were with tbem, amid the shin ing throng. Mingling in their worship. Joining In their song. The friends that 'started with me have entered long ago; One by one left me struggling with the foe: Their pilgrimage was shorter, their triumph sooner won: How lovingly they'll ball me when all my toll Is done I With them the blessed angels, tbat know no grief or sin, I see tbem by the portals, prepared to let me In. O Lord, 1 wait thy pleasure thy time and way are best; Bat I'm wasted, worn and weary: O father, bid merest! . 17. L. 'Alexander in Christian at Work. CUKIODS COKMNSATI0K& A petrified deer horn has been found near Sv lranla, Ga. A Bay City, Mich., man can make salt for 8 cents a barrel. Onecounty in Michigan paid nearly S00 forwoodchuck hide3 last year. A company has been organized at Port Townsend, Washington, to cultivate an oyster farm of no acres. It will be stocked with the best varieties from tBe East. Charles Milton Gray, of Chicago, is willing to go round the world on horseback tf the Government will foot up tbe horse and ex penses, and give him some sort of official recog. nition. The New York Tribune entered Thurs day upon the fiftieth year of its existence One of the compositors wbo helped to get out tbe first number, Washington Dodge, bas been at the case ever since Mayor Glenn, of Atlanta, Ga., has vetoed tbe liquor license granted to a woman by the City Councils, on the ground that it is against public policy to allow women to engage lu tbe liquor business. Annie Caplis, an 18-year-old girl em ployed in the spice mills at Detroit, was caught in an elevator Wednesday. Her beads was crushed and tbe body dropped to the bottom of tbe shaft, a distance of So feet. A German photographer in Constanti nople recently came near losing his life by taking a negative of the Sultan in violation of tbe Koran, which prohibits the reproduction of the human figure or countenance. "Wednesday morning a large steam heat ing and cooking range In the Livingston county j ail exploded into atoms. Five children were) in tbe room, but escaped injury. Tbe exnlosion shook tbe earth for several blocks. The bolo flower, discovered by Dr. Schadenberg growing upon a volcanic mountain in one of the Philippine Islands, is perhaps the largest flower in existence, being about 3 feet in diameter and 22 pounds in weight. A 17-year-old lad who climbed to the dome of tbe State House at Topeka the other day managed to fall to the basement, a distance ot 80 feet, without breaking a bone. He is the only person who ever made that trip alive. A piece of pink coral 30 feet long and 9 inches in diameter at one end. with branches projecting about 4 feet on all sides, was re cently obtained on tbo coast of Japan. Its valne in a prepared state would be about tto.000. Philadelphia is iu a state of mind through fear of having second-band coffln9 passed off upon itthe discovery having been made tbat coffins brought to the crematory are not burned with the bodies, but are preserved by tbe attendants and" sold again. An engineer on the Iron Mountain road has perfected an automatic bell ringer on his locomotive, and now, when running in corpora tion limits or whenever the bell must bo rung, he just jerks a spring and the bell is kept going by steam power till he turns off tbe steam. Near Colnmbus, O., a lot of hogs set upon a heifer and a young calf and devoured them. In an adjoining pasture a drove ot cattle became infuriated at tbe smell of the blood, broke down tbe fence and charged upon the hogs, killing ten of tbem and wounding many more A saurian, venerable in years and kingly in proportions, has for years made his home on Gadsden point near the Tampa. Many times bis 'gatorsbip has been rudely awakened by tbe sharp crack of the sports man's gun. and many futile attempts have been made to rob him of his bide. From its source to its mouth the Ama zon is 3,500 miles in length, but tbo name Ama zon is not continuous; and it is called by three different names in that space From its Lake Itasca source to the gulf the Mississippi is 2,613 miles long, and from its Missouri tributary source to tbe gulf, 4, Ml miles in length. A wealthy Jackson county man died recently, and after the last sad rites the family made a search for the will, but couldn't find it. Finally some one suggested that tbe body should be exhumed. This was done, and in tbe inside pocket of tbe grave coat tbe will was found. The careful citizen had put it there for safe keeping. Charles Seitz, ot "West Fairfield, West moreland county, found a piece of glass about one-half inch long and one-sixteenth of an inch tbiek, sharp on three edges, which had been embedded in his knee since tbe wreck on the 16th of August, 1SSO. oo tbe Butler branch. nearSarver station, in wblch' be was cut and bruised. It annoyed him a great deal since until Tuesday evening, when it cut Its way out. It is now believed that the mammoth abounded to as great an extent npon tbe east as on the west coast of Behring Sea. In fact, mammoths have already been discovered in Alaska, and news comes that a syndicate has been formed for the purpose of procuring their ivory tusks, which are now of great value and which will undoubtedly continne to become more valuable, as tbe elephant is being exter minated. In 1835 the Chicago postoffice was a log ouildingat the corner of South Water and Lake streets. The postofiice was on one side of tbe room and a grocery and bar on the other. A Justice of tbe Peace held court upstairs. One day a penny dropped from tbe ceiling ot the postoffice to tbe floor. Two or three fellows rushed for it. The postmaster, John S. C. Be gan, rushed out and said: "Let it alone; don't touch It. Tbe jury upstairs bas flipped for heads or tails to see wbat shall be done with the man on trial." Sure enough, the next min ute tbe foreman came down a ladder looking for tbe penny. One day last fall, while picking cotton, Ellen Powell, a negro woman, lost a bag from her person containing $3 in silver. Sbe was working for N.Hughes, wbo superintends tbo plantation of N. a. Banm, near Toomsboro. Last week, after a thunder cloud bad just passed, sbe was at work in tbe same field knocking down cotton stalks. Seeing a beauti ful rainbow across tbe field, and thinking at tbe same time of tbe lost money. Mr. Hughes told Ellen to go to the end of It and sbe would find her money. She took him at his word, and Justin front'of her, about 100 yards or more, where the end of the rainbow appeared to be, she looked on tbe gronnd and found her lost money. CURRENT TIMELY TOPICS. WOSDEHFUI, speed was obtained at the tele graphers' tournament in cwYork. But what a business public demands is faster telegraph messengers. Several newspapers are endeavoring to bother Hepresentative Phelan, ofMlssourf. Up to date his Phclans don't appear to have been In jured to any alarming extent. STitiKES are becoming epidemie A happy and contented people will rejoice to learn, how ever, that lluthcrford B. llayes hens are not of the striking class and furnished a fresh sunply ot eggs during the winter. TftOTJBLES never come singly. A few days ago we were told that the peach crop bad been utterly ruined, that the watermelon would not be half a crop and now comes the news from Florida that strawberries have been attacked by a small blue fly which desiccates the leaves. It thrives on asbes and takes kindly to Paris green. Now thit the engagement of Miss Anderson bas been announced, exchanges that have been calllngher '-Our Own Mary," will drop the habit, She will not be "ours" much longer. The Albany Journal asks: "Should news papermen hold office?" They should, more es pecially ir It Is a good "phat" one. But most newpaper men get left in the deal as a rule. Are you one of them? Judoes Magee and Ening are the most popular men in Pittsburg to-day at least among 'he successful applicants for license. If tbe many lurky ones live up to the spirit of tbe law It will be a sort of mutual admiration society a year hence The army of oil producers suffer as much from poor roads as does the farmer. Tbe only difference Is that the producer is endowed with more Chris tian fortitude. Female lobbyists are recognized as legiti mate factors in English politics. Tbey are not rec ognized In this country, but at the same time they are the means quite often of getting a bill through Congress. And when they tacule.a politician he generally votes the way they want him. The under dog in a light gets the sympathy, but the rrlends of the upper one rake In tbs shekels. The Democratic press still claims tbat nit nols and Wlscc.nsln.are douotful States. But irtien they say It they mean it Is doubtful wbether the un terriSed will ever be able to catch more tban an occasional constable or two. NoTWTrHSTANPlSQ the herculean woftc per formed by air. lieed since being elevated to the Speakership. It Is said tbat bis salary 1 Just the same as bis predecessor, A whole Congress within himself, he should be better remunerated. -. 'V : ItlJtfettsa&fcV;. rl ', "Mi
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers