November 23, 1944 THE CENTRE DEMOCRAT, BELLEFONTE, FA. THE Orrick CAT “A Littie Nonsense Now and Thea, Is Relisned by the Wisest Men" School Room Classic “Teacher makes us raise a hand,” Said little Donald Root; But Fido hasn't any hands, S0 he has to raise a foot’ * * According to Law A man bought several hundred very expensive cigars and had them insured against fire, After he had smoked them all, he put in a claim that they were destroyed by fire, The insurance company relused to pay and the man sued. The judge decided that as the company agreed to Insure the cigars against fire and had given the man a policy’ It Was financially responsible As s0On as the man accepted the money, the him arrested on a charge of arson Was he gulity or not? insurance company had Latest Models It used to be the fashion for the wife to make her husband a necktie out of her old dress. But now she makes herself ag dress out of an necktie old * * a Seeing Things You're so \ you're straight blind’ You Said the bartender Drunk—"1 can ar unk walk a line as good as can and I sce Bartender—"All right, what's that in the door?" Drunk squints a couple of times and says, "That's a Bartender-—“You're wrong-—that's a going out * » \ Willing Relief The one-eved cat Sea Captain-—-"There is no nope will all be dead Seasick Passenger In a ship is doomed heaven!" » * * * “Thank Knowing Little Lamp In the parlor there were three She, the table lamp, and he; yr 4 Two is company, there is no doubt, ~ So the little lamp went out ' * = = Abie’'s Answer Teacher children hd Only one stoic? -"And now can any one of you tell me SLOIC hand went Well, Able, tell your CIRSEmME teacher riumphantly, “A stoic is * * . Screen Test 'e In love with and not my « Not So Good walk In the garden 0, I'm afraid if vou do vou'll honestly I won't well, whats the use then? . ® . Couldnt Do It Pat and Mike stood before a store window on sale Said Pat What farr, ; Io put your » What where a troonk?” clothes in. you bilitherin’ jdgit me g0 naked? » * LJ and make Choose Your want some con lve Language 1 E- thom fan ppb You mean 1 said the customer t does campnior. How "Fifteen SO much wit ‘Well, I should myrrh-myrrh. And as vet cer innamon ammonia beginner at A Fine Cow iCal speakers don't told of or Polit always Ihe story is ed a glass of ing. Belore one of his recent or JIM practical of that good stuff in t oration 5 sip drink water to help their oratory milk while placed a little pause in midst of the then a much longe pe AK ~ Joxer i Lhe en a and Finally, as he exclaimed the speaker felt fluid percolate down hi« throat drained the Riass . Complaining Old Maid ‘If the United States postal being a fraction an mailing elsewhere Lord what service |s etter my going I'm afraid to crab I'l 1Dout ’ " verweio lt } oi ounce overweight Dave 0 do Something to Peruse Librarian—"Sir today, is would Like to Local Man we take Why, yes. How about tie br » » * We Know They're Safe machine in a tavern: “In it's never been hit . = Sam Was Disgusted At the end of three weeks of married life a to the minister who had performed the ceremony and asked divorcee. After explaining that he not grant divorces, the minister tried to dissuade his visitor from carrying out his intention » R You must remember, 8am that vou promised to take Liza for bet. ter or worse.’ Yes, sir, 1 knows I took her for.’ are out? about to close for YOu unetie ir Sign on a slot under this Case Of an air raid, crawl machine southern darkey return. rd ould dat, boss.” rejoined the darkey But she's wuss dan ho » : That's all, folks. Believe it not, golf is the game that fie COWS out of the pasture and let the bull in - or | Windy City now caught laughing is inder suspicion! Jesse IN ITALY soldiers are puzzled to find, when they visit a tallor and ADLER remove thelr, trousers. that the tall. (Or Is a gal. Never has an army worn {better pressed pants! Looks at A PORMER tobacco auctioneer is suing for a divorce. Claims his wife the NEWS [doesn't understand him HEADLINE: “Army Blitzes Notre ESSER. Dame Padres Goebbels propaganda FUNNY thing, politics. No sooner, heme for next week! Aas F. DR. re-elected for a Pourth DORIS DUKE is suing her ex- Term, than the very newspapers! hubby, Jimmy Cromwell, for $300.- that complained he wouldn't live 000 ghe alleges she loaned him for firough a Fourth Term began cam- Pin money. Looks like the pins came paigning against a Fifth Term! | back and stuck her! THAT'S making as rapid a recov. THAT'S like the guy who furnish ery as the drunken husband sober-|ed a 14-room house with soap cou ing up when his wife walks Into a! pons. Showing off the place to some safe and catches him with “that” friends, he explained one rug cost blonde. { 5.000 coupons, a sofa cost 7500 cous ANYWAY November th no longer | PO" ete After Inspecting 9 rooms 1e asked his friend what he thought Is known as Election Day as much | the home “Wonderful” t as It's becoming known as PF. D : A : onsen dl," the guy flor all Yi iAL 1 yz \ /A i A General Hastings | still from profe A man of the po the ional office General's the ition must be greatly constant importuniti wa Was | passed Bellef riend that James Bayard y of Bellefonte accident which was over his mite [rier had suffered an i ost him the expected to iH He Was at work in the radiator depart- ment of the William Manufacs turing Company omethir struck a f1¢ tool to strike h T'o compiicate matters ing glasse ARO entered tn P fata ight of one eye port when 4 tool he was using Aausing im in the eye he was wWear- fragment the ove ana of glass taken 1s wm i Daniel Webst centre cour celebrate hi iversary on Ne Although life, Mr ad retired Ebermiart much of his time manufactu small ne at his shop at home street, Bellefonte were closed he } Live spent ring wveities his High Negotiation on between Fifty Years Ago Harr ADOut a n Dukeman eth both year and life at Oh the home they Bot tire Yea: heaitl to learn to play What about Phil Baker? the young:ter By you're old enough to make a witdy instrument Bing ity that Baker'll be too old to Ut one REPORTS that Hitler Is dead seemed to be confirmed by Hime mier's speech in which six different passages out of “Mein Kamp!” were quoted. If It isn't Hitler talking from the grave it's the next best thing-—a man talking his way into one! the woordion question time living replied ed the on ADD Understatements: Lee Coo- per was arrested in Onhileago for tak- ing a stroll in the nude. “80 sorry.” he apologized to police I knew when 1 left the ©iouse I'd forgotten something!” | BOME of us are griping because of the Sixth War Loan. “It's get- ting so monotonous.” Is the com- plaint. Well the only thing war that jan't monotonous 0 a sol dier is being killed--it only happens once i msn MI — ’ about SAYS PENN STAT LACKS FACILITIES Many Students Turned Away; Sees Greater In- adequacy After War Lack of facilities at Penn State College prevents many Pennsylvania residents from taking advantage of the educational program offered by the college, Dr. Ralph Dorn Hetzel, its president, asserted last Thursday night at a dinner meeting of the Harrisburg Alumni Club at the West | | Shore Country Club Pointing out that more than three lout of every five applicants for ad- mission to the college ow are being | {rejected because of this lack of ade.’ ] [quate facilities, the genial president {was fearful that he needs of re. | | Aone those prassnt Vance C iffany, Richard of Mind Olle and Cong Kunkel and Stats Wade Stewart Tavior K, W Stats lam Secretary Le af the man John C ator George N 2 County Men Lose Said Lives; 4 Wounded |", (Continued prom page One) Seaman Geulich Wounded M Pp * Pvt. Leroy Fritz Dies roy Fritz Pvt. Fisher ¢ v3 fore entering in r vi § i 28. who for Wounded than 5 vears be vice had been employed fonte RITA aied | “OVE France on mber a War Depa: saturday Coleville, by emploved In ing bush entering Pvt LE CE HH { 1942, and It 7} tment Jaume whom the Pie stover Wounded Ludwig Wounded nD 1 i “ ’ “' Soldiers Withheld Fire to Save Lives “+ Drama Section Hears Reading of Play THE BEST BUY . We Can Offer 595.00 ‘Worth of United States at | 51 8.75 COHEN'S Correct Apparel for Women me PI CITE JI She Bellefonte EE ——Y J. M. KEICHLINE INSURANCE AGENCY One of the Oldest Fw. | Temple Court fentre County Phone 2521 Agencies In KETCHLING MEN! Work in Bellefonte at TITAN Titan Metal Manufacturing Co. in Bellefonte has many good paying jobs with progressive wage increases. Inquire . . . See what opportunities Titan has for you in this fast growing brass and needs many men. Right Now . . . bronze industry, Titan urgently So if vou are nol already in war work, get behind our ighting men af The American dollar continues to to help turn out vital war materials, ‘| admitted, “but what about the other Confirmation Day! [five rooms?” “Oh that,” was the re- THE people just as much -as said sponse, “is where 1 keep the soap.” ‘Ill Take Dewey-—with Manila.” HARRY HERSHFIELD tells about the gold content was changed? AFIER Ger campaign speeches the woman who got her young son - —— (which almost licked her) we sug- aside and told im that If he was, Many yoars ago there was a man gest that Congresswoman write a ia good boy he might grow up to be | who said that a progress had been | gaily column and title it: "Luce | President. “Aw,” the kid aw'd, “stop made. had {dishing out that Republican «| Prprin Prop - sion, gave the invocation, and Wil- A PARCEL service truck in Chi- The trouble with the world, as we liam K. Rice, president of the Har- cago was stolen, carrying a load of| THAT'S like the time Bing Crosby have heard it sald, is the people on risburg Alumni Club, welcomed the “laughing gas.” Everybody in the|tried to get one of his young sons it, [1 guests, " turning service men conld not be Titan, TITAN METAL MFG. CO. BELLEFONTE, PA. be the best currency In the world; | GTS | {who remembers the doleful prophs | n the near future lecies of th fn w ony | Physical equipment of the Institu- | s of the financial wizards when | on Is worth $22,500,000, be said. but | {more housing and physical equip- {ment is needed If the State's resi- dents are to be accomodated John M. McKee, chairman of the Pennsylvania Milk Control Commis
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers