THE ttlOT TEST CASK IN THE M|J. I'KKMK t'Ol'KT. From th* llfirtlalmrß Patriot. On the 29th tilt., before the supreme court in this city, wn* argued an im portant cose from Reaver county in which the county of Allogheuy was plaiutitfin error (and defendant below) and John, Gilwoti Sons & C'-0., defend ants in error (and pluiutiff below), be ing the most important as a test ease, f ;rvwing out of the late riots at l'itt.s mrg upon the decision of which many others involving in the aggregate some millions of dollars will depend. Ry r legislative enactment of May 31, 1841, responsibility was imposed upon the couuty of Philadelphia for damages of a specified nature occasioned by riots in that county. In 1849 that • enactment was extended to Allegheny county. This suit was brought under the acts of assembly mentioned, by Gibson, Sons A Co., vs. Allegheny county for the value of sixty barrels of whisky destroyed by the tuob at Pittsburg in July, 1877. The plaiutiif in error was ably represented by the following distinguished lawyers': Dan iel Agnew, George W. Riddle, S. H. Geyer aud GeorgeShiras, Jr. The argument prepared by these gentlemen was arranged with great cure, and laid the entire subject open y before the court. Its salient points were: That as no person can be en titled to the benefits of the acts of 1841 ami 1849, if his improper conduct has caused thejdestructiou of his property ; that therefore the plaintiff* below had no remedy, for the reason that the Pennsylvania railroad company was their bailee and that the company by acts of it* own bad "occasioned the riot and was responsible for the conse quences, and was guilty of improper conduct within the meauing of the statute." That the outbreak was not such a mob or riot a* the statute contem plated, but owing to the wide extent of its range, took more of the charac ter of uu insurrection, and was far without the scope of power held by Allegheny county to quell or subdue it. That the state authorities had un dertaken before there was any de struction of pro|erty to abate it. and that this action on the part of the state relieved the county. That the whisky was in transitu from Cincinnati to Philadelphia when f destroyed, and "was not property *il vale in the county defendant, within the meauing of the act of assembly given in evidence. And the 7th section of the n<t of May, 1841, is iu contravention of the federal constitution, and also in vio lation of the constitution of Pennsyl vania, and therefore is void. We cannot pass this cause without n special reference to that branch of the exhaustive argument of ex-Chief Justice Agnew referring to the ls ar ing of the new constitution of the state upon the act of 1841. The |s>- sition taken by the eminent jurist wa* that the act, though constitutional at the time of its passage, is inconsistent with the present fundamental law ami is accordingly no longer valid for the purpose of its enactment. The reasons in support of this position were, because it discriminated between different coun ties of the state subjecting them to different liabilities ; because, under it the debt of a county might be increas ed to a sum far iu excess of the consti tutional limit (viz.: seven per centum ;) liecause it is inequality of taxation ; because its enforcement would infringe upon those rights of private property which tbc constitution guarantee* to protect; and because, it is inconsistent with the 10th section of the 9th article. ; It declares that "Any county, township, school district or other municipality, incurring any indebtedness, shall, at or before the time of so doing, provide for the collection of an annual tax sufficient to pay the interest ami al*o the principal thereof, within thirty years." In this connection he said : "Now, if we consider the indebtedness as fixed and ascertained by the scvcial judgments for the damage*, and there is no other means of determining how 1 much or what sum shall lie provided for under the 10th section, it is impos • sible to complv with the mandate of J the section. The liability is uuknowu until the destruction of the property, aud the los* is unknown until deter mined by the judgments of which there may be many. It is imjmssible, therefore to provide for the collection of the annual tax. To pay either in terest or principal, either before or at the time of increasing the indebted ness." The reasoning of Judge Ag netg throughout his brief argument was clear and exhaustive. The in genious manner in which it was woven convinced all who heard it that it em anated from the mind of a great law yer. And the power with which it was presented at the bar of the high * court, whose ermine he once so honor ably wore and with so much eminent ability, could call hut for one conclu sion—that he is cfiually superior as the practitioner as he was superior as the judge. The bar of Pennsylvania has every reason to lie proud of a man like Judge Agnew who brings to it from the bench a well-stored intellect commanding all respect. Huch men are few and must always stand as , models for emulation. " TWENTY years ago," said a color ed philosopher, "niggers was wuir a thousand dollars apiece. Now dey would be dcah at two dollar* a dozen. It's 'stouishio* how de race am run iiiu' down*" WHOLESALE COKMTTION. WHAT THE INVESTIGATION OK THE STATIONERY ANI OTHER SUEKMEB OK THE HOUSE IIIBCLOHKH. Haurisburo, May 28. —The report of the committee that investigated the stationery and other supplies of the House of Representatives but faintly outlined the gross negligence, the pro digality, the waste, the favoritism, the wholesale plunder and petty stealing that has prevailed nlmut the Capitol for years. The testimony shows that almost everything furnished cost from one to live hundred per cent, more than it was worth. The hill for toilet soap for the House for .January, Feb ruary, and a few days in March lust year was almost two hundred dollars. The towels used in the Senate hath room cost ?7 each, and supplies of every kind in proportion in quantity and cost. The old curpets and chairs j are shown to have la-en parcelled out ' among officers, members and outsiders, j Samuel Adams swore that Charles Salter and J. .J. Monnghaii, of Phila delphia, each got a carjiet last year from the committee rooms; that the House carpet was divided up ami given away; that I)r. Shurlock got four i chairs, and that chair* and every other j moveable thing were stolen and carrier! | otr by unknown person*. Thealpacca j draping put up in the House at the time of the death of Mr. Newell, of Philadelphia, which extended clear around the hall and cost sixty cents a yard, was stolen, much to the chagrin of Adams, because he wanted it him- J self when it was taken down, as he had promised it to women for dresses. Adams swears that it would take u log chain to hold nnvthing fast in the House and keep it from being stolen. He savs, in his guileless way : " There alwavs was a had lot of fellows on the hill." Dr. Shurlock, Chief Clerk, testifies that mem tars were given ull the stationery they wanted for tlivni selves, their wives and their children, and when any one would bring in one id* his constituents he was supplied. Charles C'illey, the young man who had the stationery in charge, never re ceipted for it when he got it nor made any memorandum of what he issued. He gave it to everybody, and more especially to those who were friendly. Adopting the language of " Pinafore," ( illey says in his testimony that he gave to mem tiers, their wives and children and cousins and uncles and aunts. He further states that nearly every boy who writes letters in Har ri-burg uses the official stationery. A. ('. Neall, representative from the Twenty-eighth Philadelphia j district, swears that lie got out ten or twelve packages of stationery every year, and supplied the clubs, and societies and organizations in his district with it. He thought he had a right to do it, and gave his constituent* the benefit of it. While the value of the amount drawn by Mr. Neall would probably not lie more than hi* share of the 82-1- 000 and upward charged, but few members get more than one or two of these packages. These are but a few salient points of the testimoney. The following tabulated statement will show the expense* of the House of Representatives from 1871) to 187-8: Cnnlln*fft, fil K l*7 I* 21 V. 177*10 | . I-4'PJH 1971 • Io.fHMI " • am • 4,174.92 1#7£... M4I.U 4> t*> 17/4 M I*7l ..29,407.28 U.man 1*74.... 1.1.704 M 9.13 AM 98.1*1 9* -O 4.474.47 1... *<••><*! 4.4*0.94 7/7 >OO 1!,74i*.4 1*74.. 17.091 *4 1644&.K1 *l2 11 B,7*A M 1977_11*10*J B' "7 i-< • IjOVI 71 I<7* I.W/744 ia/C.71 '._ w x7S .*.V-i>) 1 >*).)<> To correct those abuse* the commit tee recommended the following changes to be made in the law governing the matter. First. All supplies, when delivered, should l*> essmineil by a mrnpntent oIBi er, wtm s) nuld see that every contract is honestly complied with, and that no goods are paid for that are not delivered in kind and ipialitv, and who should keep thi-tn in his possession until they are required. Second. Everything needed in the House should lie drawn by the Clerk, on written orders, and a strict account kept of alljToperty pa**ing through his hands. Third. No stationery, or other public projierty, eicept what may be needed in the transaction of offieial business, should lie dollverod to the members without receipts, or other vouchers being required. A Chinese Deacon. Yesterday morning at 10 o'clock, Ah Ching, a Chinnman twenty-five years of age, was ordained as deacon in Trinity church, this city. The cere mony was of more than ordinary im liurtance, leing the first instance of the :ind in this country. The religious Chinaman, who has taken the name of Walter C. Young, has hoeu a resi dent of this country for fifteen years, most of thnt time being spent in the Eastern Htates. For the past two years he has been a resident of this city ami has been a student under the care of Trinity church. Rev. Dr. Heers, in his nddress, referred to the ordination being the first one in which a native of China, in that connection, had been admitted to the orders of the Church. He added that the young tnnn who was now admitted to the Order of Dcaeous had passed a far better examination than the majority of those who had been candidate* for the prie*thood. Itigbt Rev. llisbop Kip officiated at the ordination, aud a part of the service was rend in Chinese by the newly made deacon. Th* young man has discarded the costume peculiar to his race and wears his hair short. —iSan Francis Call. A RARY in arms is a tyrant in the household, but when it grows older it is overweauing.—l'uck. NKNATOK WAM.At K't Sl'tvKf'll. From the I'ltui-urg Pint. Senator Wallace made a lengthy and remarkably strong argumentative speech in the senate on Thursday, ad dressing himself mainly to the uues tinn of the revival of John Adams federalism in the claim put forth by Hayes and the stalwarts of the right and power of the federal government to dominate over state elections, ly troops aud deputy marshals. The Senator look the hold, strong ground i that the federal government has made I and can make no voters. It cannot j add to or take from the qualification jof a voter as prescribed by the state save in protecting him from discrimi- I nation on account of race. When it I asserts the |s>wer to create and hold 1 national elections or to regulate the | conduct of voters on election day it tramples under loot the very basis of | the federal system and seeks to build ' a consolidated government front a • democratic republic. This is the plain purpose of the men now in control of ; the federal government, and to this end the teachings of leading republic ' cans uow are shaped. This position the Senator maintained by a constitu tional argument of great power, sup porting it by authorities from all sources. We shall publish this argu ment as soon as received in Tin litrotd. The telegraphic summary i* uf little value, and merely hint* at the line of the Senator's s|>ecch. While wc have ditfercd from Senator Wallace on matters relating to the organization of the democratic party within the state, and firmly adhere to the opinions heretofore expressed in The 7W, yet we have no disposition to detract from the ability he shows in the Senate chamber in discussing political and constitutional questions. Tin* is hi* k-giiimutc sphere of action, and one in which he can do credit to himself and important service to the party. ■ - ♦— A Heed of Heroism. James Ilrandt, or, a* he wa* better known, "English Jimmy," was a M >n tuua stage driver. Many years ago he took the reins on the route between Hutte and Deer Izodgc and ---rved the public faithfully. Jimmy's horse-loved iiis affectionate pat and stroke about as much a* they did their oat. lie rarely u*ed the whip, carrying it, in ihssl, for the purpose of playing tine* with the lash in the sharp mountain air. On the morning of the tith in stant. Jimmy's four horse* jolted out of Hutte with a roach load of men. women and children. A pa.-. 4 ngcr sut with him on the box. 'I lie stage swept along the road at a right good gait and mmiii the lir*l relay, liirard '*, was readied. There the horse* were changed. Jimmy remark's) that the new horses were not hi* old friends, but striujL"-i> to him. He directed the stableinM to arrange the hurness care fully, a* the team wa* evidently spirit i-d. When all wa* readv a mischiev ous liny called out, "Sow you go, Jimmy!" at the same time slapping one of the leaders with hi* hand. The leader reared and shot headlong away. The four horses sprung immediately ifito a dead run. Jimmy threw his every muscle into the lines. He cnll <sl out, "Steady, down there!" for the benefit of the passengers, gritting his teeth and bent to hi* tak. The horses dashed on at the top of their speed. They were crossing a level plain and making dead for a narrow gtillcy, down which the road ran liefore it crossed an insecure, tinwailed bridge. Jimmy fixed his eves on a farm house in the distance ami on his route. He knew that if he could rein in his hors os through several piles of soft gra-* shocks near the house he could save the passengers. He told the men to lie ready to jump a* they ran through the grass. "Take the babies, he, and a* the coach swerved under hi* powerful arm and ran in among the shocks the |ia*senger* b-a|s-d or rnlh-d out, some bruised but none bndly hurt. A few minutes later Jimmy's Issly was picked lip under the bridge from whieh the coach had been thrown to the rocks liekiw. The poor fellow's legs ami arms were broken. The Montana Miner says that he uttered one sentence : "Oirard, this is Jimmy's last ride, but he did his duty." Ho j died in an hour. Our t nrle Samuel Ki**imr liable*. Ex-Governor Tildcn went on board an European steamer to see Horace White ami hi* party off. The New York Sun describes the incident: Mr. ' Tilden looked extremely well, was dressed in black broadcloth, and spoke with such evident good humor that he was surrounded hy a merry party of listeners. In saluting the members of thg party, who sat along the first and second tables on the port side of the steamer's dining saloon, he shook hands along the line of ladies until he came to last couple. This was the maid and the Imhy she carried. Mr. Tilden hesitated, but only for a second. Then he lient over ami kissed the baby. The vigorous and chubby in fant misinterpreted the action. It supposed the ex-Oovernor intended to let it play with his gold eye-glasses, and it looked extremely displeased when they swung back to hit waistcoat as he straightened himself and walked away with them. " BIT I will not linger upon this point," as the speaker said when he sat down on the carpel tack.—ihir lington Ilaxckeye, I.A M Hit Kt{l INH. " For the land's rake!" exclaimed Mrs. Hrowu, dropping in upon me for j a morning's call, " what un extrava gant creature that young Mrs. Har man is! why, just us I was coming through the hack yard I hapja-iied to glance up, and 1 declare, if there to all her kitchen windows didn't hang the most beautiful lime laiiiprequins 1 ever set my eyes on !" " I .flee lambrequin* at her kitchen,' windows! you must be mistaken." j "No, 1 am not, and if you don't be lieve it, just go and see for yourself." ] 1 did so; and there, sure enough, were hung what appeared to he ele gant lace lambrequin*. " She'll ruin that husband of hers," : i continued Mr*. Hrow u. " I must sav it makes im: angry to sec such doing*, Mr. Brown is worth twice a* much a* Iter husband, aud 1 never thought of having any but green paper curtains at any of mv windows." " Well," I remarked, " I think my self it is a very extravagant move. oting (s rsoiis, when starting in lift-, 1 should be economical, if ever, and look out for a rainy day." "Have you called?" asked Mrs. I j Brown. " No, hut I should like to." " I lICII supposin' you slip on your ' lioiiiiit, and we will step over. Those lambrequins have made me kind of curious." I assented, and in b-.* than five minutes we stood at the door of a pretty cottage. "Good morning, ladies," said Mr*. Ilarman, appearing at the door in a mat calico dress, "walk in," aud she ushered us into a <*<*il, shndv room, whose windows were drapm-d withcur tain* of white dotted muslin. She was very social, uml we fell nt unee into a pleasant chat. At la-t Mr-. Hrowu introduced the topic of domestic ccotiotnv. <■*, indeed," said Mr*. Ilarman. I know soim-thing of economy. Harry and I are just starting in life, j ami 1 fed we ought to save in every way we can, without infringing on our real comfort. He wanted ine to keep a girl, but I said no ; that I bad much rather do my own work, and 1 find it very plea-aut, t<>. Through the hot weather I ari-< bright ami early, nud get all the baking ami sweeping away lietore breakfa-t; then I have plenty d leisure to sew. Yesterday 1 finish ed those curtains ((minting t<i tin window , I didn't think they would do H) T. *' 11. I made thcin out of a couple of old white dri--*-* that I had thrown a-idc —" ou ought to have put your lace lambrequin* in here,' raid Mrs. Brown. Mrs. Hnrinan looked puz./.lcd. " but do you im-an ?" she asked. " Why, tli-m lieautiful lace thing* you've got hanging up to your win dow*. I couldn't think of such ex trnvagance in my house." Mrs. Harmati broke into a hearty laugh. " Won't you step out ami lm.k at them v " she a*ked. " Well, I never! if I ain't heat!" utter*l tbe amazed Mrs. Brown, a* -<• surveyed thctn. For lo ami behold, thev were nothing but newspaper*, cut ami notched in imitation of lace pat tern. Mr*. H. kindly showed ns hew to fold the papers and cut tficm, so we I*th walk< <i home ami hung lace lam brequin* at our kitclieu windows. Try it. Prices In fiiichtiul ami thi* Conntry. Fr*m iHily Euglniel wa* once considered a very cheap country to live in, but it is so no longer. An American family of three was found there during the war sus taining lite on a shilling a day for AMMI ; ; now it would lie difficult to do that ami not resort to beggary. How could it IK* pors-ihle for food to IK* cheap when most of it is imported? House rent is lower than in New York, but not much if any cheaper than in the sub crb* of New York. Coal is alwmt s.j 50 the ton of 2,000 |Miunds, but is really much dearer than that, when wc consider that two tons of anthracite would oiitbiirn three of bituminous. There ought to be a splendiil o|K-ning for American coal ami stoves. Meat is higher, ranging from eighteen to thirty-five cent* a ]mund. Bread is , three cent* a pound ami is inferior in i quality. The E.uglish do not know how to make good bread. Eggs— j mostly like the " barrel " eggs here —■ j are thirty to thirty-five cent* a dozen ; ' butter twenty-five to forty rent*, ami |MK>r nt that; cheese eighu-rn to twen tv-fivc cent*; milk ton cent* a quart. Potatoes nre sold by weight, but would average $1.26 a bushel. A* to fruit, most of it is a luxury beyond the reach of ordinary purchasers. On a thought ful consideration, people generally will come to the conclusion that this country is a very comfortable place to live in. Mira C. L. WOLFE, of New York, 85 year* old, the richest single woman in the United Nates, ho* arrived at Now port, R. I. She is worth over $lO,- 000.000, nml has just returned from a two Yearn' visit to Europe, Oh ! won't she have the licaux—if she'll have 'cm. A WRTTKK in one of the London pa pers rays that while lying in bed the wheel* of life are oiled and eased. It is terribly hard work, nevertheless, for some persons to get their wheels to move tu the rooming. j A coi vritv MKIM lIANTH TKIAI-H. ; N.*!,• !. V. flood*)' Tim-*.. " What's butter?" she exclnmcd in ii shrill voice. "I mean good butter, i none of your nasty hair-streaked stuff', ; but uumlmr oro- gilt-edged creamery, lit for General Grant or Henry Wan! Bcecher, or"—here she poured to see why that " |H->ky man didn't luing it in." During the pause the proprietor, | whom long yearn of exjs-rionce had • made shy id' elderly iron-chid females, , edged out and suddenly remeiulMiriiig that something iflsded fixing in the store-room, sent hi* clerk, an oily- I tongued youth to the tender mercies of the butter-maker. By the time the j change wan effected the weaker half appeared bearing a firkin of aromatic something that caused the clerk to think of "Araby the bleat." " Set it right there, .Jothain, no that ; the lawn can look at it, though J don't i presume he'll care about examining anything that 1 bring." " 1 leavenn, no," ejaculated the clerk in an undertone, "a nmell in enough." " Where's the old man," now broke from the old lady, who perceived for ; the lirnt time the metamorphosis. " 1 want to deal with men, not with boyn I who don't know good butter from lard ; ! trot out vour Irons, bub, if you want to truck with our family." " I lie proprietor is. engaged " " 1 don' care if he's married. I guess ! he can tend to first class customers." " lint, madam, you did not allow me to finish ; the proprietor in engaged in watching nt the bedside of a dying child to which he was summoned a few minutes since." " Heaven hless that boy," murmur ed the "boss" from bin |so it ion at the keyhole of the store-room door; "heav en bless him, he will he no honor to me before he leave* my roof." "Young man if what you say is true, and you seem too young for a delilx-ratc liar, I'll try and get along with you; now just tell me what you can give me for that butter and return the firkin." 'I Ic young man nerved himself, lift ed the cover, and liehehl a mam of streaked stutfin a partial state of de comixisitiou. " I can give von—" " Don't think I'm a log and want you to give me fifty or sixty cent* a |s>und, for mv neighbor- know that I never a-ked over thirty rents,even if I could have got thirty-live l.r it in Chi cago; and 1 sha n't ask you any more, so if you want it for thirty cents take it along, and sling down some prints for me to examine." " lb-ally, madam. I don't believe we could give thirty cents; the- market i* , flat on butter." j "Hut they don't get such butter as that every day." "That's so, madam, neither do we; and they don't know down there how to appreciate such hutU( when they do get it." " W ell, what < :ui you give mc, twen ty-four cents?" "No, ma'am; owiogto the unusually crowded slaU- of the market, the large 'jtiantity ofolcomargariuc now manu factured, the depression of the hog market, and the poor prospect* of an caste rn war," ("I'll advance his wages," murmured the old man,) "I can offer you but five cent* jn-r |tound, and you throw in the firkin." "Fire rente a pound ami m' gire yon the firkin! Young teller. I wouldn't *<•11 you the firkin for fhat; you |eak hi-aiiisl a|e. you had ls-tter go off some where and hate yourself to death; you pug-nosed, thick-lipped fool, you | Jnthntri bring that butter here this mintiit and don't stand there with your mouth open from ear to car, hearing i your own lawful wife abused bv this white - live-reel, counter-jumper, who don't know how to treat a ladv who is rcpeetfully connected and whose only fault mining too willing to stand every thing before saying anything." Jotli am patientlv lifted the firkin ami start ed for the door, when the old lady,see ing that the clerk didn't act a* though he intended to try to stop her, spoke in a milder tooc. "See here, my youthful, maybe your ma died w hen you was young and you failed to get brought up right, and, come to lof*k at voti again, I believe I Aaee seen j* akeder heads than yourn, so don't feel angry and I'll throw ofl the 1 four cent" ami make it straight twenty cents. What do you say?" "Madam, vou are in error as regards my matcrnn) ancestor; she is living at the advanced age of eighty-fimr years, and I can safely say that I never suf : fered from a 'bringing up;' she ci/tray* brought nie up.sometimes very sudden ly. With reference to the cone-like sbajw of my head, I assure you it was caused by the odor of prixe butter like youfs, which invariably lifted mc, and the central pccrtion of the ton part of my cranium being more liable to dis tention. —" "Oh, you little fool, don't stand there lengthening your barn-door of a mouth with your long-winded abuse of a lady whose shoes you aiu't worthy to take off." "A feat I don't care to try," said the thoroughly aroused clerk. "What's that yon are raying about my feet? If it wasn't for the law I'd let you feci the moral suasion they con tain, hut I won't waste word* will) a knock-kneed tad-pole like you. Joth am, jerk that butter out just as soon as you ran." ?And Jotham staggered out lenring his odoriferous burden, while the old lady, with many a snort and jerk, followed.} As soon as the merchant raw that the danger was over, he emerged from the store-room; hurriedly shaking the I clerk's hand, lie cxclurned: "Holy Moses, but you arc a brick. I would have had to (rive into that old vampire and taken her butter noUnt vuUriM. I'ii double yourcalary, arid you can come and ace my daugfi : ter any time ; yea, go now, murry her if you want to; a man that can get rid of an old woman who in determined to nell a firkin of such stuff can marry my mother-in law, if he want* to. Now go." And the young man went. Jiald-lleaded J/OTer. No one who look* down from a gal lery in a church upon a devout and 1 god-like congregation, ran fail to no tice how very prone the Christian is to the loan of hi* hair. Piety and haid heaiiednew seem to go together, that the head of the believer might be a -hiinng light, a city on the hill. And yet it one goea to a godless theater the name thing is observable. Worldline** is a* bad as piety. The bloated capi talist and the horny-handed son of toil are equally liable to bare-footednu* on the top of the head. And this, too, in the face of the fact that proud science has long w restled w ith the prob lem, and inventions innumerable an | nouriee themselves as causing a luxu riaut growth of hair, liald-bcaded ness, however, does not impair a man's value in the ordinary affairs of life. He can buy or sell, insure, run a bank, or accept an office, with not enough hair on his head for a first clan* eye brow ; but when it comes to making love to a girl it is very much in the wrfS. Th ere i- a great deal of capilla ry attraction in love, (iirls adore a handsome suit of glossy hair. It is lovely. And w hen a lover comes to woo her with the top of hi* lead shin • ing like a greased pumpkin, he is at a disadvantage. Just as the words that glow ami the thought* that burn begin to awaken in her bo-orn a sympathetic thrill, she may happen to notice two or three flies promenading over his phrenological organs—and all is over. < iirls are so frivolous. Hie immedi ately Iweomcs more interested in those fli<*s than all his lovely language. While lie i pouring out his love and pas-ion, she is wondering how the flies manage to hold on to such a slippery surface. A tpiaker Printer's Proverb*. N< ver send an article for publica tion without giving the editor thy name, for thy name oftentimes secures publication to w<-rthless articles. 1 hou shouldst not rap at the door of a printing office; for he that answer eth tiie rap snecreth in his sleeve and loseth time. Never do thou loaf about, nor km* k down tyj>e, or the lsiys will love thee as they do the shade trees —when thou IcavesL Thou shouldst never read the copy on the printer's ca~es or the sharp and hooked container thereof, or he may knock thee down. Never inquire of the editor for news for behold it is his business to give it to thee at the appointed time without asking for it- It is not right that thou shouldst a>k him who is the author of an arti cle, for it is his duty to keep such tilings into himself. When thou dost enter his office, take heed unto thyself that thou dost not look at what concerns thee not, for that is not meet in the sight of good breeding., Neither examine thou the proof sheet for it is not ready to meet thine eve that thou mayst understand. Thou shouldst not delude thyself with the thought that thou hast saved a few cents when thou has secured a dead head copy of his paper, for whilst the printer may smile and say it's all right, he'll never forget thy meanness. Ox a quiet day in leafy June, when bees and birds were all in tunc, two lovers walked beneath the moon. Tho night was fair, so was the maid : they walked and talked beneath the shade, with none to harm or make afraid. Her name was Sue, and his wa Jim ; and he was fat and she wa slim. He took to her. and she td him. Says Jim to | Sue, "By all the snakes that squirm | among the hush and brakes, I love you ; better'n buckwheat cakes." Says Sue to Jim, "Since you've begun it, and been and come and gone and done it, I like vou next to a now bonnet." Says Jiiu to Sue "My lieart you've busted, but I always gals mistrusted." Says Sue to Jim, "I will be true; if you love me as I love you, no knife can ; cut our love in two." Says Jim to Sue, "Through thick ami thin, for your true love count me iu; I'll court no other gal ag'in." Jim leaned to Sue, Sue leaned to Jim; his nose just touehed her jockey brim; four lips met —went ahem! ahem! And then—and then— and then —then! O girls, beware of men iu Jufte, and underneath the sil ver moon, w hen frogs and crickets are in tune, lest you get your name in the paper soon. I* congregation of colored folks, after they had sung the hytnu, Pastor Gardner arose and said: " Hruddren, if it wasn't for de wheels oil a wagin dc wagin wouldu't move. When do wheels am on, den what?" " Grease 1" solemnly exclaimed an old deacon. " K'rw t P whispered the pastor, softly rubbing bis hands together. "Wc hex de wagin an' de wheels. We will now pass do hat for dc grease."
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers