y evening public Iedgei-philadelphia, thuksday, "eeoe&bek ui ate is a 10, ftVi J- II Svefitng public Sie&get ' PUBLIC LEDGJEIt COMPANY I iWttrvct T Y fmAin ..-..- r .CfcflM H. tudlnrton. Vies Presldi-nt: John a vinuoii 4. utuiat rA&niifEni JTattln, Secretary nd Treasurers Philip fl Collins, John B. Williams, John J. Fpurgeon, Directors. .it editorial board i V Cut II K. Ctrous, Chairman PXVIO E. BMIL13T , ..... ..Editor '0OHJrC, MATrrffr.... General Business Manager ' p .Published dally at Pcrtio I.Erani, Tiulldlnr. PTJbSno Cur. rrcat-Vnwn Bulldlnc SOU Metropolitan Tower , 701 rorci llunainc ,10(1 Fullerton JUillclInu ,..1303 Tribune Building ',)"ffturatoToj Bonmn. , ...,.. . t I V J. H. Cor. Pennsylvania Ave. and Uth St. F f KvirvToitx: Bnntuu -. The fruit Bulldlne v-TMt-e, TTTttr, A Tfe. f; t loj(&ON Bootuo .... London Times I 1. pTfo EruiiNO I'csud Lnnota Is nerved to sub ttarilitn In Philadelphia and rurroundlng towns St two rate or twelve u-J cents per ween, payaoio the carrier. , ,. ..,.,,.. , ) Br mall to points outs' ! of Philadelphia, In the, United States. Canad m or United States pos- Si. ' ri. jpoKtaee free. ftZ (SOl'cents per month. ! felif (8) dollars Pftf year, payable In advance. IJt To all foreign countries one ($1) dollar per s."l jnontn iiwt"Eu-jaMHfrlhrl wUhlnir address changed 'Ma give old as well as new address. y -.. .. .. ..., .... SELL. 5000 WALNUT KU91U.l, wm uw - . ... ,-.i-.. .a n.uolHM PitTiTf. mn, , : ." Member of the Associated Press rVE ASSOCIATED rilVSS Is cxclu- ."Wve.j entitled to the use for republication of all netca dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited In this paper, and also the local ncivs published therein. vMl rights of republication of special dls- 'ipatchfri herein arc also reserved. j ' V Philadelphia, Tliur.d.j, llrermbcr 11. 1919 FARCE COMEDY IN COUNCILS VNLY the late Charles H. Hoyt, author of the funniest political farces Amer ica ever saw, could do full justice to the thoughtful little scheme of the Vare minority outfit to grab control of the new city Council by naming its commit tees "before it is organized. i. If 'is really too kind of Charley Hall . and tho rest of the old crowd on the i fourth floor of the City Hall to be so -' solicitous about the welfare of the new , body. Reformers are notoriously unap- preciative of advice from old hands in ''' the game, and in a sense the single chamber is going to have a majority of 'reformers. It is, therefore, not surpris- i ing when they resent having things nicely jf laidfout for them, even to the extent of f putting stalwart Vare followers of long 'experience in charge of the committees. But even though the Moore men will give Messrs. Hall, Gaffney et al. no credit, the public will admire them in j at least one particular that is, for their i j, xemarKaDje control in Keeping peneeuy , grave faces while urging their proposal. LUCKY MAN! hfAN ENGLISHMAN at the Bellevue- ,' Stratford explains that he can tret Hi more at one m?al in America than his family in England receives in lood ra- '; tipns for a week at home. Lucky man! ji xacK oi tood is not wnat is trouonng j. .Americans, u tnis ji.ngusnman nas a 1 pocketbook fat enough to pay for all he ifcan eat in one meal at a fashionable hotel, Site, is to be envied rather than coni- S4 iL i-j "VTjniBeraieu. l&rVLlTTLE PLAIN NERVE NEEDED . XIXTHEN the now Civil Service Commis !ja" sion is elected and besrins to func- KlVij- ii. .,tt l- !.... ., x .. ... air' lion iL wi i hr erne pnnutrn rn nRnitiR i.tirtf Yuay li .a o .rrtnrtf onf- ia f nAoaii ' Civil Service Commission seems to ro l gard itself. i 3Tie commission, or one of its mem J bers, serves as a trial board to hear i charges against policemen and firemen. The revised charter does not give it I power to issue subpoenas and the courts s .have refused to issue subpoenas for it. . The accused, in one instance, have failed ' to appear for trial after they had been s summoned twice. j A commission with a little nerve can V change this situation in short order. The charter provides for the removal of men 'A on charges after they have had an oppor jj tunity to be heard in their own defense. THe accusers will always attend to press jf their charges when they are made in good faith. If the accused refuses to i-b,wiw .v uijer ms aexense, it is Wimin the power of the trial board to issue its judgment and to enforce it. ' The commission would not have to pur . sue this course more than once or twice f before its authority would be recognized by every one. it THE DANSEY CASE tTWR .rtporv nrmr como n Ua Vi4- Vi vLr- Dansey boy was accidentally killed 1h Hammonton and that after some weeks ?f ,hjs body was put in the swamp, where 4t was found with the clothine scattered Ai Jtftw Yeas. . Jprtfcoc'it'.V I J near it. The persons charged with re sponsibility for the death are said to I 4 siay a lucneu tno moral courage lo tell S 5vriat they had done and hoped no one would, find it out. If this theory be correct, we have two tfagedies instead of one, and sp in ejArjcably involved that it will be diffi- 5rc ,to decide whiqh is the greater. ,END OF THE COAL STRIKE . SANITY" wins. The plan for the set- ,, tlement of the bituminous coal strike, . Made in this newspaper many weeks atro I'" stnil in other places afterward, has been tir "'j .-j t. il 1 J it f, jwojiwu oy uie miners anu ine operators, If and work is to be resumed at once. IL vThe form in which the President put l',0m proposition to the miners and opera- m wiaa uiau me miners Biioum accept ,,'jL4 per cent increase in wages, which s''t!be operators were willing to pay. that r they, should then return to work and that L s commission should be created to in- t quira into the causes of the dispute and if arrange lor their removal. ...All that remains to be done now is to &' appoint the commission, made up of cap- P ble and fair-minded men. jfa other course has commended it meli' to reasonable judgment from the be fummgt It was admitted that the miners haA legitimate crievances. It was ad- f- mittwi, too, that some of their demands ytex unreasonable. TJjey- were asking s,jfor ore. thap they expected to get, but thy"wre not met in a conciliatory mood l ky li operators and there was a dead- t .m - 1t J U !.- lt TT KMSKt jqiiwwcu uy nic oumc, nowever jriueh th public ,may have sympathized with th miners, it has never regarded '"tka strike s justifiable under the cir- &tum opawptt baa Imxt behind the m ' l demands of tho President for the accept ance of his plan of compromise. Ho has been really tlo representative of tho nation in urging it upon the operators and tho miners'. Now, if wo can only profit by tho les son of this strike and arrange for tho settlement of similar disputes in tho future in a similar manner before busi ness Is tied up, the incident will not be without its compensations. COUNCILS' DAYLIGHT SAVER ' MAKES A BAD THING WORSE Inefficient and Furtive Politicians Are Responsible for a Condition Under Which Even the Clocks May Be Corrupt TS AN idea large, picturesque, romantic, - jejune in its inception and utterly im possible? Then Mayor Smith will cer tainly approve it with a grand sweep of his pen upon the tail of an ordinance as he has just approved the daylight saving scheme of city Councils. There is, after all, something oddly wistful and ardent about the Mayor. Those who know him best assert that he is bursting with frustrated intentions of u virtucus and beneficent kind. But he will bo lucky if he does not go down in municipal history as Aladdin Smith, since, by signing up with the amateur daylight savers, he has sent tho com munity drifting toward a giddy and glo rious period of uncertainties, of unbe lievable complications and bright un reality. Next summer, for example, you will be able to leave Broad street station at 2 o'clock and arrive at Paoli at 1:45. Automobile speed liars will call the Mayor blessed. After we set our clocks 'an hour ahead the driver of any motor car may start for Atlantic City and, ar riving at Hammonton, swear truthfully that he did thirty miles in ten minutes less than nothing. The clocks in Ham monton will, we believe, run on the old schedule. But there is a dark side to the pic tme. Bitterest amemg the afflicted will be the small company of pious conserva tives our pride and our dependence in times of great decision. They will have excellent reasons for believing that the Mayor has played them foul. They were once the stern oppo nents of gas light. They once fought trolley cars. They regarded the tele phone as a disaster and the automobile as a catastrophe before they learned to find pleasure in both. By a thoughtless sweep of his pen Mr. Smith threatens to maneuver these good folk into a position actually an hour ahead of the times! It is only behind the times that a small but exalted part of Philadelphia can find the comfort and the tranquillity that it loves. That part may move away! Yet they will have company in the misery that is to be theirs. Black times are ahead for the banker folk whose businesses are knit into the national time schedule by tho telephones, the telegraph, the mails and the stock ticker. Doubtless we bhall lose many bankers through nervous prostration. Woe to them whose offices are organized upon a municipal time table while their homes adhere to what might be called congressional time. If you live in Nor ristown or Riverton you will almost surely be an hour late for dinners in Philadelphia. If you are in the habit of dining in the country you will as certainly be an hour early and an unbearable trouble to all hostesses. The irritating thing about the new "daylight saving ordinance just signed by the Mayor after what appears to have been a very real soul struggle is not the action of the Mayor in itself. The trouble is with mayors in general. They are all pretty much alike. In New York and in Jersey City the municipal authorities have been setting up independent daylight saving laws, un mindful of consequences. It is easy to imagine Mr. Smith alone with the ordi nance, visioning happy workers and children gamboling in the summer sun light, and signing the thing while his soul was filled with the whisper of a grand, sweet song of good will. Perhaps, after a look back over the last four years, he felt that he ought to save something. Daylight is plentiful. The universe is full of it. The Mayor is but a mayor. What? Well, the Mayor is -but the occupant of the Mayor's office, if you will. He obeyed a worthy impulse. The blame for a prospective period in which no one will be able to tell, even by his watch, what time it is is not upon him. It is upon the school of politics from which he graduated. The men who defeated the daylight saving bill in Congress, where daylight saving laws should have been upheld and made permanent, are tribal kin to the Mayor and to all other mayors. Con gressman Vare, Congressman Costello and Congressman Graham did not vote at all when the daylight law was brought up not long ago for debate and action. The easiest thing in the world to do is nothing. In the code of a good many politicians it seems the safest. Any one who wants to know why an excellent and rational law was repealed has only to- study the preponderant figures of the agricultural vote in general elections. Mr. Vare, Mr. Costello and Mr. Graham seem to have studied them. They did nothing. Now they are exalted like gods, above praise or blame. Meanwhile other representative members of their school of politics are busily making a bad thing worse. , So it is the school of localized politics that is at fault. Graduates of this school, whether their work takes them to Wash ington or into mayors' offices, have no ordered theory of life or law or eco nomics or ethics. Their capacity for error is limitless. They are mere mem bers of a vast clearing house which dispenses jobs. The reliance of politicians, who, after permitting the defeat of the daylight saving law, are now making furtive ef forts to placate the folk at home, is Upon the people, jMi9 people Will co- i 'fafe- ' ' ' operate as n solid unit to save daylight. They will wisely adjust their clocks in the interest of general sanity 1 Will they? Tho people ought to go to church. They should buy their coal in summer. They should co-operate against profiteers. But they do not always do these thlng3. Aided by their mayors they will drift into n period of confusion for which their elected representatives are wholly re sponsible. Tho extra hour of daylight made pos sible to tho average indoor worker by "wartime" was most welcome, the most wholesome and least expensive of luxuries. The men who permitted it to be withdrawn cannot escape the sincere dislike of those who live and work in the cities. The great public is Used to being left alone to find its way out of difficulties due to the ineptitude of politicians. It will blunder along and miss trains and its dinner if the new municipal time sched ule is actually made operative. In the end it will painfully devise arrangements of its own and settle down again to an ordered way of existence. So it will have to go on muddling through until it finds a way to better representation in Congress and in mayors' offices. Meanwhile, Mayor Smith will be in the far-off hills and the congressmen who repealed the daylighjt law will be too busy with other matters of state to give u thought to a harassed general public which, for a time at least, will be unable to believe even the clocks on its walls. SPROUL IN WASHINGTON "XTHEN the Republican national com ' mittee selects the Governor of this state to make one of the principal speeches at its meeting preliminary to the opening of the presidential campaign, it must be admitted that Pennsylvania is rising once more to its proper place in the councils of the party. And it is not a standpat and reaction ary Pennsylvania that commands atten tion today using these adjectives in their opprobrious sense. The rest of tho na tion should not be allowed to forget that in the great schisfn that divided the party in 1912, when tho progressive wing aligned itself on one side and the re actionary wing on the other, Pennsyl vania, although overwhelmingly Repub lican by tradition, proved to be the most Progressive state in the whole union. Roosevelt polled 283,000 votes in Cali fornia, 386,000 in Illinois and 390,000 in New York, and Wilson carried each of these states. But in Pennsylvania 447,000 Republicans went to the polls and cast their ballots for Roosevelt and progres sivism and gave to him thirty-eight elec toral votes out of the total of eighty eight that he received in the whole coun try. Consequently, when the Governor of this state speaks in a political gathering it is as the representative of the largest body of progressive sentiment concen trated in any commonwealth. Governor Sproul's address, while a characteristic political document, was still characterized by vision- and. by an ade quate conception of the necessity of adopt ing a constructive, forward-looking policy to be submitted for ratification to the voters next November. He and his fel low Republicans are aware that no party can win without such a policy. They know that in the eight years since Wood row Wilson was elected to the presi dency between 10,000,000 and 12,000,000 boys have grown to a voting age, boys whose personal knowledge of national politics goes no farther back than to Roosevelt's last presidency; boys who then began to regard this great Ameri can as their ideal. These young men will decide the election next year, for they will use as the instrument for executing their will that party which liest repre sents the hope and aspiration of youth and manifests a determination to exert itself to the utmost to make this nation worthy of its best traditions. Governor Sproul himself was only thirty-one years old when Roosevelt first became Presi dent. He has not yet reached that time of life when men become stagnant minded. He is thus a fit spokesman, not only for Pennsylvania but for national Republicanism. IWhen the miners Black anil White asked for a five-day ,toal week and a six-hour day they were really asking for more rather than less work, ex plains Samuel Gompers. At best,' one-fifth of all our coal is wasted, says Secretary Franklin K. Lane, and he adds that the ultimate development of the streams and rivers of the country will yield 51,000,000 continuous horsepower. From which mc de duce that what this country needs is fewer coal miners. Au English visitor in town says, "You Americans have so much money you don't know what to do with it." And each and every one of us cheerfully admits the truth of the assertion with a mental reservation concerning one particular case. Thero was no evidence of brain fog or brain fag in President Wilson's proposal to the miners. There is general belief that city home rule Is the key with which tho door may be opened for a Greater Philadelphia. "Back to the mines !" is no longer a command; but joyous appreciation of an accomplished fact. What the miners and operators have now consented to do they might well have done several weeks ago, t John Q. Compromise scored another vic tory. The psychological monfent having ar rived, be got in his licks. Is the bulk of the population heeding the admonitions of the fuel board? Not by an anthracite! Tho New Year will probably come in singing, "Nobody knows how dry I am." The moos-'of the, dd Bull Moose bemuse1 political prognosticators. And the children of the miners will now be able to enjoy a visit from Santa Claus. p The coal black horses are, now back in the shafts of the chariot of progress. The Flying Parson got into no trouble I while he contested himself with fljln. " -'" I 1 . JSP , THE GOWNSMAN On Keeping Up With the Times A PLEASANT young woman, n stranger to tho Gownsman, entered his, study tho other day, after duly requesting an inter view. She did not give her nnme and she did not look exactly ns if r1io had come on business, for the furtive look of the book agent, potential or constructive, bad not yet settled down on her open countenance. In a voice, musical enough to have been at tuned to better things, tsho inquired: "I have called, sir, to ask you If you" are keep ing up with the times? Yes, keeping up with tho times." And she settled herself in an attitude of attention which meant that more was expected than either "yes" Or "no." THE Gownsman will not say that ho was embarrassed; he would not confess It If he had been. But he was just a little tipped off of that center of gravity which is becom ing alike to his years and to his garb. Wherefore, fencing for time, ho inquired In n tone Intended to conVey the innocency of untutored childhood: "Now just vhat may jou mean, may I ask, by keeping up with the times?" But sho was wiser than her years and parried: "Then you have not received our litcruture?" "Your literature 1 And arc you, then, one of those notablo peoplo who write books?" said the Gowns man. "Oh, no" this with great superior ity "I follow up our literature by a per gonal call, to explain, and well, to take orders." The murder was out; this nice girl was one of tho loathly kind, after all, "a book solicitor," a rond that is a book agent masquerading in youth, . and tho Gownsman bethought himself of how ho had ouce rid himself of one of tho kind by brazenly affirming that his education had been neglected in his youth and that to him had never been imparted "tho mystery of alphabetic letters;" and how, in another cntc, he or the book agent, a man in this instauco and he forgets which had leaped out of a window. B UT soon he was admonished that there is literature and "literature." And his visitor pointed accusingly to a circular still unwrapped on the Gownsman's disorderly table. "There," she said, "there is some of our literature. Don't you even open your mail, sir?" "Not always," the Gownsman somewhat hastily replied. And there it was, a beautiful pamphlet of many pages, in blue printing and ghrnished with jellow, with envelopes, order blanks, re duction in club rates inclosed, and a list of glowing testimonials, to bay nothing of the pictures. "The Crest of the Wave." an international epitomo of epitomes, the newest news, the newest views. Appraise ment of the now ; prognostication of the lo he; no reviews, no has-beens; why look backward? Why burden your children with school books on history, English, economics, politics, civics or sociology? Ufce "The Crest of the Wave" in the schools and keep abreast of the times. And the pictures din-' closed happy families and joyful groups of intelligent boys and girls, sitting on the school btcps, u copy of "The Crest of the Wave" in each happy hand, or grouped in numbers enormous. "Before taking 'The Crest of the Wave' I was muddled about the league of nations ; mystified as to Bolshevism and mixed as to D'Annunzio and Fiumc. Since taking this elixir of knowledge all these things have become to me absolutely luminous, and I am writing in the btjle of Mr. Hergcshcim, Mr. Drinkwuter or Lord deTabloy at will. Yours contemporaneously, Mazie Muddletou." "Oh, bir," exclaimed the pleasant joung woman, "j-ou haven't any idea what beautiful editorials our Mr. Pshaw, tho editor, writes!" "Ah, yes," said the Gownsman meditatively, "and Addison nnd De Quincey and poor Charles Lamb and Macaulay used to write beauti ful editorials." "Yes, sir," said that pleasant young woman, "it is true, but then, they are all dead." Aud whether she meant the editorials or only those who penned them, the Gownsmau knows not even to the present day. TO KEED up with the times? to ride on the crest of the wave, lo despise the past aud learn nothing of it, to be strictly con temporaneous, up to date and distrustful of theories, nervous in the presence of ideals here is the essence of Philistinism and Philistinism is the enemy of civilization. Neither do we or our children stand in any need of being "brought up to date. There is nothing so hard to escape as the present moment with its incessant claims, its trivial obligations, its inanities, its inroads on time, patience, taste, sense and strength. Out of the pabt we can pick and choose our acquaintance, our book, the very pas sage in it. As to the future, we may drenm. But there is no ehoice in the pres ent and few dreams. Think of those intelli gent children, so vividly pictured with "The Crest of the Wave" held docilely in the hand of each, doomed to read, week after week, "the beautiful editorials" of Mr. Pshaw, to be ever on the trigger, momen tarily in the nick of time. With every re bnect for Mr. Pshaw who, the Gownsmau is informed is not George Bernard can we expect these children to remain intelligent? AMONG the shifting shouls and drifting sandg of contemporary opinion, it' Is never safi to be too sure even of yourself; and above all things is it unwjse for any man to patronize his grandfather. The old fellow lived In his present as we live in ours and saw about ns far without his spectacles as we see without ours. As to xthe thing we call the present, it is bomewhat. discon certing to realize that this sentence as it is writing is already in part a thing of the past. And never has a doctrine been so abused and misapplied as that of evolution with the corollary that the grade of human betterment and advance is at the angle, of an ascending rocket. It is a daring idea, this of "The Crest of the Wave," to pit its "beautiful editorials" as subjects and sources for the study of history, language politics and the like against the literature, UUU UIU mow; " '- ""iw umu IUQ WU(1U commentary on all these things besides. It is almost admirable in its' complacency. But come, let's go back into tho past some where and play awhile; let's not keep up with the times. May the Wood boom be spoken of. as a floating barrier of timber across the mouths of G. O. P. cnlets Not the least of tho evils of the coal strike was that it furnished the postmaster general with another excuse. Twas a dark, cold path that' Garfield trod. Louisiana sugar cane is a rattan in Its effect on the consumer. One thing the President lacks is ability -to make the other fellow do the work. Postofflce employes are willing to swear that Burleson's phantom surplus is no beneficent spirit. Bituminous (uiners will now do their bit. "NOW 'PSSaMfe. , . "xz-g -"Ste" tSii--,!' .v4l2f-c-w erS'- c;''zt"-rJ' THE CHAFFING DISH You Told Me I Might Have the Stars YOU told mc I might have the btars That cluster everywhere ; That you would pluck the Pleiades To fasten in my hair. YOU said you'd catch the Milky Way And pull the white moon down To wear upon a silver chain With my velvet gown. ' YOU promised me the Dipper, tqo, For just one fleeting taste, And I could have Orion's belt To wind about my waist. THE baby stars for'finger rings, A bright one for my shoe Now I would give hem all away If I could just have you. BEATRICE WASHBURN. Even the Bee3 on Strike The State Department of Agriculture in forms all and sundry that the average yield of honey per colony in Pennsylvania this year is only thirty-three pounds, compared with seventy-one pounds last year. Bol shevism begins with a B, evidently. To -Alec (TTAo mentions names without thounht of international complications) YOU know I never frequented that horrid Globe Cafe; You never met me with a demoiselle. You know 'twas not my custom on the Place de .Taude to stray With Genevieve, Yvonne or sweet Adele. (And even if I had cut foolish capers, Why should you print it In the daily papers?) YOU never saw me promenading up old Puy-de-Dome, A lassie and a bottle by each hand. You never found mo gazing at the blonde beer's creamy foam; (And the drinks you cite, I scarcely under stand. (And even if you saw such things, why need it Appear in print where Mary Ann will read it?) WILL LOU. A Letter for Cecelia - r.,.-.!!.. -an nf Rnr.rA.tes: As lor your aiiDi anu ,uui ...,, -. v. ..-. a hoot: we have ecrns of our own. nut comma, where ob comma, whero Is your "dandy chop- hTh!s fair town boasts, of fish-houses, tea houses. Bandwlch-houses. , lunch.houees. hash houses, and smashlnedlsh-houe. but we have never seen such an thlm as a perfectly stood broiled chop-house. Hence our suspicion that this Is another of your alibis. Yours with parsley, JANE AND STEVE. Out Along the Cinder and Bloodshot Hank Harris came In to see us, and gave us the first news of Marathon in a long time. It 'seems that BUI Stltes has two hound dogs. brothers, whose names are Romeo and Juliet, "" y1'" -".,?. v-i-r.... ..rri ,. -..-. ni They lavish their evenings camplne on Hank's front porch. Hank says he hasn't been sleep ing well lately. BUI Is Iboklne; round for a farm to buy, and our Informant assures us that BUI Intends to be a country gentleman. BUI will always be a gentleman, Is our com ment, but we don't know what kliid of a farmer he will make. If Hank's account of Romeo and Juliet Is correct, those hounds are big, sprightly and ambitious enough to help draw the plow and till the fertile glebe. Fred Myers has been troubled by bron chitis, and lacking the old family remedies for this complaint his recovery has been gradual. Fred has a fllwer which Is known as Dame Quickly, but Hank says thlp Is Ironi cal. As for Hank, he Is Just as full of pep as ever, and very husy buying his Christmas presents. If we were BUI we would keer those hounds locked ub on Christmas Day. Those sentimental ditties that Alec Ste venson and Will ku have been writing about Clermont-Ferrand have elicited com ment from Bonus. He says: "One would guess Clermont-Ferrand to have been a pleasure resort for tho poets of the A. ,E. F., but (nclosed Is some verse of a more serious nature, clipped from. Flights nnd Landings, the newspaper edited nt Seventh A. I. O. It; is by U. B. .BowBian, who delivered the YOU'RE FIXED; GO Tt) . "V A. If f IHsMi H..MII M I 1 l',VrWi. ,tnrrr' 'Jjntz '" "f?F-; ,129 original at the Ninety-seventh Squadron show." Bonus asks that we "feed" bis inclosuro to Will Lou and Alec. It is entitled "The Dying Grease-Hound," which, we are in formed, means an expiring aviation me chanic. AVe wish we had space for more of it: My Mademoiselle In Clermont My face no more will bee, These wild, wild girls In Aulnat I know they'll think of me. And when they call the muster roll They'll call my name In vain, For I've eaten my last mess of beans, Drunk my last cup of rain. I'm going to a better land Where everything Is bright. Where Vlcby passes grow on trees And you can stay out every night, Where the M. P.'s will not bother jou And you needn't change your box And little streams of Cognac Come trickling down the rocks. When Tennyson said "We needs must love the highesUwhcn we tee it," we presume he meant to make an exception of the H. C. L. Speaking of Tennyson, our literary chaf fers may" be pleased to be reminded of Walter Bagehot's humorous summarv of "Enoch Arden." Philip Littell quotes it in his new, volllmp. "TCnnVc n-nA TMnwo A sailor who sells fish breaks his leg, gets dismal, gives up selling fish, goes to se, is wrecked on a desert Island, stays there some years, on' his return finds his wife married to a miller, speaks to a land lady on the subject, and dies. We Bow Our Prettiest When .the child is parked In her crib for the night, And the mouse trap's tight baited with cheese, It's then I. may loll at my eas. I munch Buttered popcorn with all of my might, And scan by the Mazda-bulb's sixty-watt light The wisdom of Socrates. M. V. N. S. And Mj V. N. Sv, adds that as 1020 is a leap year sho doesn't see why our clients shouldn't have 365 dinners at home and still spend the 366th as an evening of car nival and halloo. Will Lou also writes all the way from Lebanon claiming to be the original contributor to the Dish. He says that this Will entitle him to have two lumrja of sugar at any dinner arranced bv our high-spirited patrons. Those who protest against the newspaper habit 61 referring to debutantes as "buds" may not;realIze that this is perfectly gdbd Shakespearean usage. .When Miss Juliet Capulet was to be presented to the society of Verona her father called her and the other girls who would be at the reccntlon, "frcsh female buds." 8oclal Items From Shakespeare Duke Prospero and his charming daugh ter Miranda have left,Mllan for tbesummer and are spending tho warm weather at their island home, "Yellow SandsC" They expect to entertain a number of guests at a house party this week. Among the most promi nent present will be Messrs. Ferdinand, Alonzo and Sebastian, , Miss Portia Heiress has finished her law couxse at the Venetian Correspondence School, and expects to leave shortly for her country estate, "Belmont." Miss Rosalind Duke has joined the Girl Scouts and will spend the summer camping In the Forest of Arden. She has recently announced her engagement to Mr. Orlando de Boys, who is also very fond of the open air life. . Prince Hamlet has returned to Elslnore and taken up the oulja board as a diversion. Prince Hamlet Is arranging some private theatricals tonight us a surprise for his uncle, King Claudius. v Miss Cfeopatrfc Egypt has. Hern entertain ing distingulsl8d guests from Rome, R)ie hag.nUia added if uunioer of, nxpa to her un. I usual collection of pets, HOCIUTE3, IT!" SV& THE BUCCANEERS TX7HEN Doris and I, and Peggy and Sim, ' ' Went by wnter to Watson'a bay, The night shone blue on the harbor-rim, And the hills ran gold, with liquid day ; For tliis was the hour of interlude, When the sunlight thins, and the shadows brood, And the sea-mist smokes away. "We'll steer by the stars," I cried, for the stars Beat milkily over the yacht, And the moon lay netted among the spars Like the slice of an apricot; "We'll steer by the Cross toCaribee, ' Ono thousand leagues from Circular Quay, And east-nor'-south, I wot!" Doris danced round, and she made a mouth, And she wrinkled her nose in scorn ; "O silly, to talk of your east-nor'-south! And is Caribec near Cremorne?" "Cremorne, do you say? Indeed a"nd indeed, I'll swear that this 'yacht is a dolphin steed In a faery land forlorn !" The sun swam down, and the darkness fell, All olive it dripped in the skies ; And the ferry-light fires in the glinting swell Were like deep-sea fishes eyes. But Sim cried: "Ho, for the Spanish Main! I smell red gold on galleons twain Ho, ho for the pirates prize!" O you who gape from the ferry-decks At the lunatic yacht below, Do you ken, as you sluggishly loll your necks, You were slaughtered an age ago? " Plundered and put to the plank and the sharks, You factory-hands and Insurance-clerks, In a stolidly staring row? Kenneth Slessor in the Sydney Bulletin. The commission is unalterably of the opinion that it is no part of the province of a Binking fund to rise to an emergency. , What Do You Know? QUIZ 1. Where is the Republican .National Con vention to be held? 2. Name four Republicans mentioned as candidates for tho presidency. 3. What is the correct pronunciation of the r ' word coupon? 4.- When did Demosthenes live? 5. What are the colors of the flag of Japan? 0. What was the Declaration of.Bordeaux? 7. What is an equerry? 8. What is the shortest day in the year? 0. Name a bird, not-a parrot, which can be trained to talk. f . 10. How .many wars of tho United States have been conducted under a Demo cratic administration? ( Answers to Yesterday's Quiz 1. Captain Boss Smith is the first aviator to fly from England to Australia? He has won a prize of $50,000. 2. The reparations commission authorized by the peace treaty is to consider Ger many's responsibilities foV the scut tling of the Scnpa Flow fleet. 3. St. Francis of Assisl lived in the latter part of the twelfth and the early part of the thirteenth centuries. 4. "Cavallerla Rusticana" means "Bustle Chivalry." C. General John Bourgoyne was the British ' commander of the army which surren dered to the Americans under Gates at' the decisive battle of Saratoga In tho Revolutionary War. C. Cape Fear tt n promontory forming the southern point of Smith's Island, off the coast of North Carolina. ' 7. J. Alden Weir, a celebrated' American painter, prominent In tho Impression ist school, died on December 8. 8. Cicero was the author of "De Senec- tute," a treatise on old age, 0. Cassia is an inferior kind of cinnamon. , It is also n genus of plants yielding benna leaves, 10. A tcpi' ifj" h'vel plain devoid nf for I est, especially in cut, especially in itussla nnd .Bluer!,, . 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers