"TT 5, F ' ' EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER PfllliADEIiPHIA, tfl&DAYr t)D0O3ER 5, IfilS j : 10 i. H' ?Ctacnmg public Ife&gei: rUDLIC LEDGER COMPANY n...iCr?.U8,tKS CUrtTlB.TjirsiPENT ,h-"-j1" . wuuiiiBion vicn i'rciani. jonn i . f'"'j! !T!.rT ami jrcnsurrri i'ninp I'nuini, fwm D. WlllUmi, John J. Bpurgron, Dlrnctora. , EDITORJAU OOAHU: . Cincs It K rciTM. Chairman JPAV1D E. PMILKY ... Editor "JCrtRfC. MAP.T1N ., acr.cral Business Manager jPubllfhjd dally nt Tcsuo t,Enet:n .nulldlnc, 1TMNTI0 CiTV jiiut-rn-nuenco oquarc, i nuatioipnia. .... i'rriit-intoit uuilillna .. !!OH AIMf-nnnllt.ti Tnp IW JOSS. Ton- , . . 70t Kord Dulldln" T, lyoris., ... , ioii nillirtim liulldlnH CBIcioo 1302 Tribune BuilJIng NEWS BUnCAUS: wucikoto.v Bisri' , N. K. Cor, rnnlvanta Avf. nnd 14th St. Kbit Vouk Bontuu """"is Sim Bulldlne XoftDo.t Ucbiuc Loudo.i Times t sunscniPTioN tlhims The Eiciimi Ii n in Lekgeu Is nerved to mm cnbrs lit Philadelphia and cv -roundlnff towns at the rate of tuclvo (1-) centa p-r week, pajable to the carrier. . Tiy mail ti point" o"Md o' Philadelphia In tha United States. Canada, or United States pos-rtf-almis, outage free. Ilfly (.VI, tents ier month firt ($01 doMar pe" year, payahla In advance To all foreign countries one ($1) dollur per Jnonth. NOTicr Subscribers wlh!nir mldn-cs chained, taust gho old as well ns rew address. BILL. 3000 WALMJT KEYSTONE, MAIN" 3C0" By Address alt oommvnfcaflons to Ercnlnn riibllo Ltiatr, Independence ggiiore, I'hl'adelpUla, j Member of the Associated Press THE ASBOCtATVD PlinSS Is cnlii UcJi entities to the use for republication of all ncics dispatches crcd'tcd to It or not otherwise cierlited In this paper, and nho the local uric published theicln All rights of republication of tpecia! ills patches herein arc alio icscrvcd. l'htliMphii, frlilir, Drtrmlitr 5. IH ECONOMY AND THEN SOME THE apparent inescapabilily of a tax rate of $'2.85 will force upon the new JIayor and the new Council a policy of the most rigid economy for the next twelve months. If it should be necessary to i educe expenses by reducing the number of dispensable city employes, there should be no hesitation to use the ax. Mr. Woore has already intimated that ho would use it if the present Councils failed to provide him with money enough to carry his administration through the year. The city expects such economies from him as will make it possible to reduce the rate next year. If it is not reduced "tents will bo increased, for the landlords must pass on to their tenants the burden of the increased cost of maintaining their property. Some relief can be found in an equali sation of assessments. The real estate i board has already begun to interest it self in this matter, and its chairman is talking about the necessity of a more careful and thorough assessment of real estate throughout the city. Much prop erty, he says, is assessed for less than its value and some is assessed too high. Recent transfers of valuable paieelss for sums ranging fiom 50 to 100 per cent more than the assessment sustains his statement that some owners are es caping the payment of their fair share of the taxes. If all parcels were as sessed on a uniform and equitable basis. it is likely that as much money as is needed could be raised by a moderate tax rate, which would relieve the small house owners and attract business enter prises here which hesitate now when there is suggestion of a tax rate that approximates $tf. V POLICE GRAFT TF THE Police Depaitment were above suspicion, it would not have been necessary to create a special bureau of detectives in the district attorney's office. The arrest of two police detectives by the district attorney's detectives ou the charge of shaking down a merchant, who professes to have bought stolen goods unwittingly, shows how it woiks when opo set of detectives is set to watch an other set. The charges should be pressed in court in order that the truth may bo established. The public will hope that when Mayor elect Moore appoints a director of public safety he will name a man who will Clear the force of all suspected officers and make the great majority of the rank and file feel that bo long as they do their duty without fear or favor they will be supported. FOUR-CENT MEALS? TJR. HARVEY W. WILEY appears to -belong in the expanding group of scientific men who, in desperation, are trying to amuse a world that they cannot ripln. Doctor Wilpv's more or less solnmn 4,. " assertion that a man may live on eleven cents a day if he will invest his 'money in cornmeal mush and milk isn't even a good joke. Would Doctor Wiley lend the patient citizen a stove? If you will dig a hole in the ground .and reside in it you can beat the rent man. The money spent on shaving and hair cuts may be put in bank if you will let your hair grow long. A horse blanket judiciously used would make" clothing un necessary and it might be even put away - jfitefullv in summer by a really thrifty ;? -man. These are ways in which the high ,V cow? of living might be brought down, ' but the people are waiting for some one to discover a method which, unlike Doctor Wiley', will be a little more acceptable than death itself. , A TAX THAT FAILED SECRETARY GLASS has discovered that there can bo a tax so heavy that it will produce no ivenuc. He has called the attention of Congress to the I'Vfwiwouability that the excess-profits tax v-w-i-wdl flofeat itself unless radical chancres ,are made in the law. He say3 that it encourages wasteful expenditure, puts a premium on overcapitalization and a 13 penalty on brains, energy and enterprise, . discourages new ventures and confirms old ventures in their monopolies. In ad dition it acts in many instances as a consumption tax, for it is added to the east of production and" handed on to the i awisumer- in increased prices. Pongress, however, assumed that the excess-profits tax would merely decrease the utnounts to be- divided among the hr?holders in the corporations making ; tie profits. That the lax should be reduced is recommended to Congress by the secre- v inrif Pf the treasury in order that in "neac times it may produce revenue with- "iM" lidding to the cost of living. It is a mbl rpjouimcnuatton uaseu on a knowledge of some of tho elements of the principles of taxntion. Mr. Glass also sava that it will be necessary to increase the normal income tax and th'c lower ranges of Uie suilax If sufficient revenue is to bo raised to meet the war charges. If these increases arc made equitably so that there is a feeling that cvory one is bearing his fair share of the burden, .there will bo little complaint, for wo nil know that the money must bo raised to run the govern ment and pay the intorcst on the war debt. Mr. Glass has already submitted to the ways and means committee some notes on necessary changes in the rev enue law and he will put them in the form of detailed lccomnicndations. Congress as well as ho is aware that the law needs rewiiting in many of its sections so that its inequities may be removed. The country expects it to approach the problem with a disposition to distribute tho burden of txxatiou so that it will gall no one. MILLIONS IN STRIKE LOSSES ARE AN UNNECESSARY WASTE When Justice Is Assured to Both Sldps In Industry Neither Will Have the Courags to AgU for More TF DOCTOR GARFIELD were a wiser man he would put the woik of some of his ropiesenlatives in Judge Ander son's court at Indianapolis high in the list of nonessential industries. He might even deny himself fuel and light. He and his men aie wasting their time at unproduetAc labor. Wh'it is more, they are distracting the public mind and beclouding issues that will have to be clearly seen and thoroughly understood before industrial peace is possible in tho United States. If the miners and tho operators are approaching a mood for reconciliation and settlement, it 13 not because of anything that the govern ment is doing. They have been left to blunder disastrously along the road to calamity. If they arc not awed and afraid and sobered by a prospect of uni versal wretchedness and incalculable loss their senses have deserted them alto gether. The fuel administration has not helped to bring a settlement. Everything that the government could do to inilate the miners, to sharpen and harden their sense of wrong, has been dono. The deadlock in the bituminous fields certainly involves something of greed and opportunism on one side or the other or on both. At bottom it is a great human dilemma for all who happen to be directly concerned in it. It is a de tail of tho blind and painful struggle by which humanity is trying to adjust itself to new conditions. Patience and logic, a sense of justice and not a little of human charity will be necessarv to the final settlement of the coal strike and similar strikes. The present fight in the coal fields obviously means self-sacrifice and consecration for many of the workers who feel that they have been badly treated and neglected. For many of the mine owners it seems to be a fight for survival amid new and strange concerns. To the noncombatant public it brings the prospect o niiseiy, illeness and hunger. Yet this is the looming question that the federal court has attacked with rasping legalisms that are altogether unrelated to any vital concern of the miners, the operators or the country at large. The government, acting through Doc tor Garfield and the federal attorneys at Indianapolis, has never gone beyond the outer fringes of the matter. Neither has Judge Anderson. You cannot produce coal by putting labor leaders in jail. You cannot pacify and reassure labor by forcing on its spokesmen the role of martyrdom. You cannot bring permanent peace and order in the coal fields by compelling operators to a sort of compromise that can be justified only by a rule of. temporary expediency. Tho quickest way tq. disarm miners or operators who may be unfair is to give them justice. No one on either side of this or any other industrial controversy has the courage to walk out in the open and demand more than that. The fuel administration has tried an easier way and failed. Doctor Garfield announced that he would t'crmit no in crease in the costs of coal, and invited the country to be comforted by the knowledge of his resolve while it en dured cold and hunger and saw its in dustries succumb to gradual and certain paralysis. The logic of that course was woefully defective. If tho country is not paying enough for coal to insure decent wages and a fair return on invested capital it ought to pay more. Certainly it would be willing to pay more. If it is already paying enough for coal there is organized infamy some where in the coal industry. The strike has been on for a month. Yet the public has no means of knowing who is at fault or where the blame lies. Tho processes instituted at Indianapolis will waste more valuable time. You cannot depend upon injunctions and other methods of repression in dealing with a state of mind. Judge Anderson's decisions will settle nothing. The government itself could liavc averted ine coai smite. It could end tho strike now. Had the President and Congress sum moned the miners back to work and promised them fair wages during a period necessary for a sweeping survey of the coal industry; had the men been assured that final wage scales would have been hased not upon academic the ory but on principles of justice and that this wage scale would be made retro active if investigation warranted it; had a nonpolitical board been appointed with a membership qualified to report to tho world the rights and wrongs of coal min ing, the needs of producers and the needs of the miners, there would be no diffi culty about the ultimate terms of settle ment. Such a course would have necessitated complete federal control of the mining industry for a considerable period. It would insure justice to producers and miners. It might bo depended upon to insplro a constructive polfcy of opera tion in the coal fields. Mining Is still n haphazard business. A federal commis sion, acting with the authority of Con gress, might bo expected to Improve not only the technique of coal production, but to establish the wholo business of fuel distribution upon n more evident nnd even a more profitable basis. The approach of a presidential year hits left Congress, dumb in this crisis. The responsibility thcrefoie lies with tho President. Industrial disputes will have to be dealt with in a new way. They have come to be like wnr. They are too costly, too destructive to bo tolerated quietly and left to accidental adjustment. Wo shall have to deal with causes. For the picscnt we uie dealing only with effect. The country is mystified now because it hesitates to believe that coal opciators arc unprincipled, mad with greed, blind to the responsibilities of citizenship. Siinilaily the people know that the min ers' leaders aie not Colshcviki. Tetlow, one of the men arraigned for contempt at Indianapolis jestcrday, lmsiecsntly returned from France. He happens to have been an efficient machine-gun cap lain on the American side. Green, an other of the accused, was formerly a respected member of tho Ohio Senate. It is when you look even a little way beneath the troubled surface of coal strikes and other strikes that you be come aware of the great need of the hour. That need is a sympathetic knowl edge of human motives, as well as a knowledge of economics, in any one who must direct great economic readjust ments. So, in the end, thoio will not only have to be a federal commission to keep peace and prosperity in industrial fields where now there is battle and loss; there will have to be a permanent tribunal administering a great new code of indus trial lelationships. This Congress may shrink from tho prospect. Another will not. THE ROW IN MICHIGAN IT IS admitted that large sums of money were spent in Michigan to se cure the nomination and election to the Senate of Truman H. Newberry. The statement filed accoiding to law a year ago placed the sum at something under $180,000. Mr. Newberry made affidavit that nothing had been spent with his knowledge and consent. The indictment found against him by the federal court in Michigan charges him with perjury, and asserts that the affidavit was pait of a conspiracy to violate the law. When the case comes to trial the guilt or innocence of the senator will be es tablished by competent Evidence. If he is guilty ho should be removed from his. seat in the Senate. The federal law forbids the expendi ture of more than $10,000 to secure the nomination and election of a senator "with his knowledge nnd consent." But every one knows that it is impossible to carry on a primary and election campaign over a whole state for such an insignifi cant sum. It is doubtful if since the law w as passed any senator whose nomi nation or election was seriously con tested has been returned without the expenditure of manv times that sum. The saving clause was put in the law in order to permit the state committees, Republican and Democratic alike, to spend such sums as seemed necessary. No one believes that the Ford cam paign against Newberry was managed at a cost of only $10,000. It could not be done. But if Newberry violated the law, it is no defense to prove that Ford violated it also. The expenditure, how ever, of large sums in tho interest of Newberry or Ford is not necessarily il legal. The use of moving-picture houses and advertising space in newspapers for propaganda is not illegal. But bribery of voters is contrary to law, and perjury is a crime. It will be prudent for; the country to suspend judgment in the case until all the' facts are known, while lcmcnibeiing that tho charges against Senator New berry are mado by his political oppo nents. . A Now- Yorl lnrthml Give the journal dcelarra that Body a Chance the teeth of mauMuil wrcrc never In such bud shape as the.v are today nud that what the world needs is more dentists aud better dentistry. It might appear to an outsider that, even more important than dentists and dentistry, would be the removal of the cause of teeth deterioration j a cause not wholly unconnected with "refined food for reliued people." Life is realty, sajs the Concerning That tax assessor. Life is $2.85 earnest, admits the taxpajer. And" to save is not our goal, asseverates the finance com mittee. Dust thou art and dust thou burn est, wo may remark en passant, refers to cash a3 well as coal, if jouj get what we mean. I) Anmiuzio is to Straight Line leave Finnic and the Formation eilj nwlll bo occupied by Italian regulars, according to a recent dispatch. Which ap- pears to be a renunciation of free verse in favor of the Italian sonnet. The warm weather is Flesh and Grass causing grass to grow in Woodbury, X. J., while word comes from Havre, Mont., of cattle freezing to death on the plalnR. If a beneficent Providence could male these ex tremes meet beef prices might come down. The Cuban Govern With a Kindly ment has taken over Thermometer tho coal supply of the country, but the householder cares not at all. lie can get all the fire he ueeds at the end of a cigarette. When the miners' Adit walk-out is followed by a walk-in it may bo found that the sum of human happiness is In the straight and narrow path. when a wise guy Charter Eurhre plays tho deuco with the king's EnglUh in a hand with the public it sometimes happens that the Joker unexpected! takes the "jack." Old King Coal is a worrying old soul. CONNELLEY IS COMPETENT But Labor and Industry Commissioner May Strike Snag In Female Serv ant Employment Proposition y (iHOKOK NOX McCAIN TH. CLIFFORD . CONN13LLBV, ap L pointed commissioner of the Department ot Labor and Industry by Governor Sprout, virc .lulin P. .lai-Uou resinned, has made an excellent impression upon those who have tome in contact with him In the discharge of his oflieial duties, When CommlssIoneriTackson was granted indefinite leave of absence nt the outbreak of the war to-ntcr government service. Doctor t'onnelley, who had been connected with the Carnegie lustltule In Pittsburgh, was appointed ncllnjt commissioner. It afforded him an admirnbje opportunity to f.iinilinrie himself with the work of the tidier- so that ho practically takes charge as one trained for the place. One phase of the commissioner's work, which no dnnbt will ho developed to Its highest possibilities and to the welfare ot the wotUng classes of the state.- is the state svskin ot free dliplojment. It contemplates the continued maintenance ot clearing houses for tiuiikly placing emplojes in such a waj that the man suitable for a given job will he placed in that cmplojment. II is n mistaken idea that this work is an ouli'iiiiie of the woild war. TIC s.vstem was est ihllshed uuder laws passed by the Legis IjIiiip of l!)lfi, and was well tinder way before our entrance In the conflict. The sstein wit! reach perfection of operation It it succeeds in eliminating a certain class of emplojmeut agencies whose principal func tion is tn separate the worUiugniau from a portion of his inoue.v tinder proml'c of secur ing him pennuueut rmplnimeyl. When Doctor Couue'le tackles the female servant c inplnjmcnt proposition, however, he will lind his hands full. ' piiornssuft hexiiy o. nmuoxs, for ' j ears connected with the University of renns.vlvauia, is grcatlj interested in Greek archeology. Since lSflO' he has beeu a member of tho managing committee, of the American School of Classic Studies at Athens. The war, as-every one knows, played sad havoc with the American and foreign a relic ologists in Greece and the near Kast. Work was abandoned in all directions while the nations devoted themselves to the attempted subjection of each other. Now that peace has come Professor Gibbons tells me that high hopes are entertained of a renewal of the work. Professor Gibbons's daughter. Miss Mary Fulton Gibbous, a talented violinist who spent a number of jears abroad aud wlux lcceutlj 1ms been on concert lour through New r.ngland. has returned to Philadelphia to reside permanently as a member of the facult.v of a local'conservatory of music. K LCA B. .1 of publis JOHNSON hus entered the ranks publishers. It is in connection with X. B. Kellv, George V. Foss, Howard 1!. Trench and others in their woik as offieialn of the Pennsylvania State Chamber of Com merce, of which Sir. Johnson is president. The publication takes the form of a hand some four-page journal on tinted inlrmlered paper, called Pennsjlvaula Progress. It is needless to say that it is devoted solelj to the interest of the stale Chamber of Commerce. Tt is unique iu having not u line of advertising on any of its pages. The editorial page carries a signed editorial by Mr Johnson which deals cvelusivelj with the proposed new constitution for Pcnu sjlvauia. The catholic aims of the organ ization are set forth bv Mr. Johnson in a declaration concerning the farmer's interests, in which he sajs : "Aside from Ibe many problems In be considered in the new constitution no subject can be of greater imporluucc lo the state of Pennsjlvania than the improve ment of the condition ot its farmers with respect to improved methods of agriculture, improved transportation, improved method of marketing and a general improvement in the imnfort of lhiug. To a icallzatiou of these purposes the Peuusjlvauia Stale Chamber ot Commerce is devoting itself." The management of Pennsjlvania Prog ress is in the hands of Itob'rt Ifaight as editor. STA1 chu TATE SENATOR WILLIAM E..CROW, airman of the Republican slate com mittee, whoso forced retirement from that position will be a feverish feature of state politics, is a former newspaperman who is now serving his fourth term as chairman of the stale committee. Senator Crow belongs to the soft-spoken, light-treading, easy-going school of politics; the lit rather than light brand. lie is a political pacifist. That's what has started the present shind.v. As btale chairman, this vear and last loo, he thought it his duty to act as peacemaker between the warring Re publican factions and has met the customary fate of the peacemaker. lie was a pronounced anti-suffragist loo, and had the women of the state the right to wield tho ballot the gentleman from Fajcttc, I fancy, would find other lions, or lionesses, in his path beside the astute Joseph U. Grundy. Although Senator Crow voted for the suffrage amendment at the last session, he was onl.v persuaded to that action nfter re peated conferences with high state leaders. Since then, however, I understand he fans modified his views of previous jears and is reconciled to the fact thai suffrage has coiuu to stay. Meantime the sound of moat axes being ground in the Bucks county woodshed con tinues unabated. W ILLIAM A. PATTOX, assistant to tho president of the Pennsjlvania Ilaihoad, Is an official wuosc loss nas ueen Kccniy felt by that corporation. Mr. Patlou retired some months ago to enjoy the pleasures and comforts of private life after half a century spent in the Pennsylvania's service. For a generation and more he had kept his fingers upon tho pulso of Ilurrlsburg. Every piece of legislation directly or indi rectly affecting railroad interests for forty jears had been scrutinized by him. He became a perfect encyclopedia of political nnd legislative know ledge. lie know every public man of importance and a good many of no importance in the state for forty jears. His personality achieved as much for the corporation of which ho was nn official during those jears as the political influence of tho corporation Itself. , Keen, courteous, fqr-visloned, ho wielded n power second only to that of his Immediate superior, tho prcsldeut of tho 83Stem' 111 I i, e He was, moreover, on unfailing judge of character in men. Some of tho highest offi cials of the Pennsylvania today owe their advancement to his ability to estimate char acter. Under the new order pf things, when tho railroad sj stems of this country trevert to their owners, It will bo a mighty good thing for those who have among tbelr officials a William A. Patton to loud a hand in rccon, structlon and rehabilitation. If English poets had the Imagination of Italian poets Helgoland might be battling Flume for position on the first page of tho newspapers. THE CHAFFING DISH (UIl theol " verso wt Un thcolosj, in brief, is that the Uni ons Dictated but not Signed. Desk Mottoes Brcvit Is the soul of song, no Jess than tho bout ot wit Those lovely lyrics, Bwlft as tho note of a bird on tho wing; Im perishable as a Jewel, haunting as unfor frolton melody, arc the fruits of urtiflca no leco than of Inspiration. Auxns nui'i'Liisn. A Garden vSonnet QIO SPIRED, so sentineled by such tall trees A garden was, that quietude was there Aud musing moved the meditative air Along the pensive pathways of the breeze; Such peace there was'that surgeut mysteries, And ancient beauty that was born to bear Far knowledge hid In muted speech aud rare, , Tumultuous! rebel, bent their kncc3. T HIS work was made by steamy rain and sun. This beauty shaped of stormy wind and 'cloud. She came there often when the day was done; How quiet was tho garden then! how loud With all tho thick green lifting of .the sod, The climbing sap nnd swelling buds, nnd Cod! "" ALKO B. STEVENSON. Spjie the lod and spoil tho Pcnrod, is our uieditntiou after careful observation of the wajs of office bojs. The Sacred Subject A good dog story irjalwajs sure of the front page in any self-respecting evening paper. Coljumisls sometimes,, when hard up for material, make bold to chide the fair sex, gcntlj : but none has jet been founddariug enough to intimate that even dogs may have their faults. U the request of H J .If end. mid hy the Kindness of Fletcher Du Hois, we reprint the following poem, written in 1RS5 by V. J. PKelpi, it one time ambassador lo (treat Britain! Essex Junction WlTyr saddened face and battered lut, And ejo that told of blank despair. On wooden bench a traveler sat, Cursing tho fa,to that brought lilm there; Nino hours, ho said, we've lingered here. With thoughts Intent on distant homes, Welting for that dclusiyo train Which, always coming, never conies; Till weary and worn sad and forlorn. And paralyzed In every function hope in hell Their souls may dwell' Who first Invented Essex Junction. I'VIJ traveled north, I've traveled south, vr mountain, ft"''! i-n-'- ".l river,.? In ocean's storm. In dcscrt'3 drouth. Through railroad smash anil steamboat shiver ; "While hope and courage falterod not. Xor strength gave way nor faith was shaken, Until I reached this dismal spot, Of man accursed, of God forsaken. Where strange new forms of misery Assail men's lives without compunction ; And I hope In hell Their souls may dwell Who flrpt Invented Essex Junction. HEIIH Boston waits for OgdensbUrg And Ogdensburs for Montreal, And late New York long tarrleth And Saratoga hlndereBt all; From far Atlantiu'8 wave-swept bays To Mississippi's turbid tldo All accidents, mistakes, delayB Aro gathered here and 'multiplied. Oh, fellow man 1 avoid this place As ou would plague, or relcr 1'unws tow n And I hopo lu hell Their souls may dwell Who tlrBt Invented Ksscx Junction) AND long and late, conductors tell Of trains remote, shipwrecked and slow, Till even the engineer's dismal bell Takes up the cry, "No go no so!" Oh, let me from this nolo depart, By any. route, so 'Us a long one, Ho cried and with u BUddcn start He Jumped on board a train (tho wrong one). And as ho vanished In the smoke Ho shouted with redoubled unction, "I hope In hell Their souls may dwelt Who first Invented Essex Junction," Now York Is all 'overwrought by the ad mission of Dr. Berthold Baer that he usctjL to live in Philadelphia. Perhaps otl do not Ipow vvlioljoctor Baer F '' "YES, I CAN, 'TOO I" is. ' He is the man who has weakened Now York's lovo of life by his lovely little blurbs written for a Manhattan undertaker. Wo wish wc could find some one who know the Doc hi his Philadelphia incarnation. Wc would like to know more about him. Is it possible that Dr. Frank Crane is to have a rival? . Our Idea of the reallj naic person is the ouo who is surprised when each episode of u movie seriul 'ends with n cocked trigger or an c.plosiou, , Is there any feeling of more helpless baf flement than that of the man who goesto a toy department, about this time of jear, to buj a birthday present for a three-j ear old Urchin V Wc sec that the uovcr-to-bc-tob-highly regarded Gumps arc on the "stage in Chicago, and ."00 Chicago husbands begged to be al lowed to, play the part of Andy, claiming to bo the original of Sidney Smith's whim sical cartoons. The Burning Question The morning dawns, the day arrives, And forth to busy little hives Of jndustry and marts of trade Go slaves, who toil till suu rajs fade Six days a week, By nine a. m. work has begun Most earnestly, but quips of fuu Crop out anon the duj (o brighten And otherwise the minds enlighten Of those who toll. Throughout the day these slaves arc seen A-wooing Ludj Nicotine; Other slaves for divers reasons Have "rotation of the seasons" Wheicin they smoke. Though many smoke, and some urc known To curry smoke-stuff of their ow'n, Permit us to present the bloke Who springs the little hourly joke "Have jou u match?" In this great world tlieto may bo those To whom tho world a living owes; At lenst (hat Is the creed they preach ; Too tight or tired to even lcneh , For their desires.1 I sing, however, of the bloke Who needs a mutch to start bis smoke; With bland ushuranee 'tis no jest He'll from the world a match request, And GET it, too. SMOKE. To a Singer LAST night my heart was hcuvy with despair, And sad my soul, for I had suffered long; And then, like starlight through the clouds of Care, ' I beard jour song. TT THRILLED a chord within me. Long -- before , I heard j-our voice, I thought I'd seen the End ; But lol within this newly opened door I found a friend ! MY PEN had stopped ; I thought the Muse had fledt Sty work undone ... I had no other choice ; , Hut when my fondest hopes were cold and dead I heard your voice. I T GAVE ine strength. Ambition's dying coals Were fanned to flame. In Verse's silver net I wpye a masterpiece. And then our souls Reached out and met. ' , ROBERT U- BELLBM. The old internal combustion' we used to hear about seems to havp been supplanted by international combustion. , Perhaps Germany signed the peace' treaty with the .sumo mental reservations, as tho modern bride who promises to ''obey," After we bad written a book with much labor and pain, und it was just ready to be published, the printers went on strike. And on the Very day that a play In which wq were Interested was to open in New York the government ordered all electric signs to bo doused. Life is just like that, Is our surly com ment. SOCRATES. GHOST-RADDLED (OME, surly follow, conic! A song." "What, mudmen? Sing to you? Choose from the' clouded talcs of w rong And terror I bring jou. "Of night so torn with cries, Honest men sleeping Start awake with glaring ojes Bono chilled, flesh creeping. "Of spirits iu tho web-bung room Up above the stable, Groans, knockings in the gloom The dancing table. , "Of demons iu the dry well That cheep and mutter, Clanging of an unseen bell, Blood, choking the gutter1. "Of lust, frightful, past belief, Lurking nnforgotteu, Unrestrainable, endless grief From breasts long rotten. , 4 "A 'song? What laughter or what song Can this house remember? Do flowers and butterflies belong To a blind December?" Robert Graves in The Owl. V It is a safe bet that those who attended the Franklin Institute lust night and saw pictures of French eoal mines destroyed by Germans will have no sjmpathy with Ger-" tnany's latest gesture in refusing to "sign the protocol. Interpretative reservations may bo en tirely proper in the United States Senate, but Sir. Polk 1ms hastened to let German representatives know that Hun reservations arc still barred. What strikers apparently fail to realize is thut every day of idleness sends the coqt of living up another notch. The stuuehest prohibitionist may with a clear conscience boost the local port. Its wajs arc walcrwajs of peace and prosperity. The sun of the prohibltion-beatcr rises iu tho j east. ' What Do You Know? QUIZ 1. Who is the Mexican ambassador lo Uie United, States? 2. Who succeeded Diaz as president of Mexico? 3. Who was Simon Pure? 4. When did tho great eruption of Vesuvius, which destroyed Pompeii, occur? 5. What uro agenda? C. What school of literature was known as ' tho "Silver-Fork School"? 7. Who was the "Rocli of Chlckamauga"? 8. To what race did Emile Zola'belong? 0. Whero is tho Dead sea'( vlO. Whal was the "Suicide Fleet"? Answers to Yesterday's Quiz 1. Dr. Albert Einstein is a noted Berlin physicist, whoso new "Theory of Rel ativity" somewhat calls Into question Newton's theory of the attraction of gravitation. 2. Lord "Robert Cecil is a noted English s champion of the leaguq of nations. Andro Tardlcu, of France, Is" a con spicuous advocate, of the same project. 3. Nautch girls are East Indian profes sional dancing girls. I 4. The French gold coin called a napoleon is worth twenty francs. 5, Bukram .or buckram is a coarso cloth of linen or hcmir stiffened with size or glue, used for keeping garments In shape, for wrapping merchandise or for binding books. 0. The President Blgncd the declaration . that a state of war existed between the United States and Germany ou April 6, J01T. 7, A spalpeen is a mean fellow, a rascal, The word is Irish, 8 Facultative means permissive, optional, contingent, of a faculty. 0. Kabul is the capital ot Afghanistan. 10. Wolfe, commanding- the British orces, defeated Montcalm, commanding the French, at the battle of the Plains of Abraham, which decided the fats tt Quebec. j( wl f il 1 I " j J- I 4k : -';: ,s r- S.' 4v s tKs'l
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers