u l:tf cning public Ifeftgcr PUDLIC LEPGEn COMPANY fi THUS . k. CURTIS, rtltirNT CnrlM H I.udlnKton Vlro prralilent John , Martin. Bfcrf Ury anil Trurr: Philip H Collins, John U Williams, John J, gpurgton. Director. ' EbiToniAirjipAmx" Ctao U. tC Ccbtk, Chalrmtn ,AVID E. BMILET Editor JOHN C. MARTIN'..., General Hulnca Manager rubl!ihfd dally nt PrBLio t.morn Ilulldlnc. Intlrnondcnca Square, Philadelphia TflNTlo ClTr Prrji-l'nlml Ilulldlne AKW Toa , iOO Metropolitan Towfr riifnteiT 701 l-ord Building Pt. Irf.ru.. , ions Kuil.rtnn Hulldlnit Chicago .... .1302 Tribune Building TVanioTo ninrtt' NEWS DUnnAUS: Ilium t - i! l - or. I'c Jw TonK ntsBti Cor. Pennsylvania Jr. and 14th St, m.liril. T.ia .4mi lttilMlnr axjspon ucbeau London Times flunsenn'TTov tp.rms Tha EtrMwi Pi ana '..Minn, Is p?riHl to null rcribtra In FhllarltJphlA and rurroutMlng towns at th rata of tnelve (12) cents pr wlc, pajable to tha carrier. . Hv mall to point ntMd of Philadelphia In tha United States. Canada, or United States po--(enalons. postago free. flttv (Veil rents per month Six (tcl dollars pe-ynr. r-avnblo In advnnre, To all forrlrn countries one (111 dol'ar per month. sroiirr Subscribers wtldn addr-si thantM must give old as well n new address. PXIL. 3009 TCsXMT hrSTOM muv joon tZT Address all ooimnuiitcaffons to teri'up PuUta J.cdocr, Independence Htiitare I'tiUad pi e. Member of the Associated Press THE ASSOCIWm PRESS li cv.Iii fltc' cntltln, to 1hc iMf for i riniblli niton ef all tints dlspa'cJus credited to It or not otheiwlsc credited In thh paper, and also the local neut published Ihcicln ill right of republication of iprrtal dis patches herein aie also icscucd Philailrlphli. 1hur.il... Notrmbrr 27. 1I1 WORRY TTAYOR-ELECT MOORE say.s that he "-'- is not wonting and that he is Roing to let the other fellow do it. As one leads the tfossip about the make-up of the Mayor's cabinet, it in apparent that the othei fellows aie doing a lot of worrying. They ale sug gesting men to Mi. Mooie. and he listens to their suggestions with patient courtesy and then they go away won dering what he will do. The candidates are woirymg about their fate and the men who piopose them are worrying about what will nap wen to them if their advice is not taken. If Mr. Moore can so conduct himself us to shift all the worry to the other fellows, he will have an easy time as Mayor. PAY THE POLICE rpHERE should be no need to aigue - the justice of laising the pay of the Philadelphia police. Should any ele ments in the community, howevei, still be unconvinced, lefeience to the appeal which oui civic guaidians have issued Haiti IH la . 1 1 ffi ii ! i. r f Tni leirvin ic unnn. w swerablc. The police and the tiiemen as well can no longer equitably be consideied as apait from the new economic struc tuie. Their loyalty and fidolitj to their posts amid the allurements of waitime wages in a host of industries is incon testable and eminently commendable. The city must an.swer their plea a modest one for a $3U0 annual increase if it is to maintain its, self-iespect and to honor servants which honor it. It must not be said that towns like Pat erson and Elizabeth have shamed a l-nreat metiopolis. if TALK IS CHEAPER J3ECENT surveys of Bell telephone xv earnings in Pennsj I vanm indicated that the letllins llnnn tUn nnrtm.,4-in'n capital were in excess of the late of interest uiat utilities aie supposed to pay when they aie administered with a fair regard for the public as well as for investors. It has been prett appaient, too, that reoiganization is possible in some details of the telephone system to distribute moie evenly the cost's of the service among the company's subscrib ers, and thus bung the rate for private use down to a new level. Yesterday's order of the Public Serv ice Commission for a letum to the pre war telephone late is therefoie alto gether just. It puts no buiden on the telephone company and it should have no influence on piesent or future rates of wages made necessaiy by rising living costs. The example of the Seivice Commis sion will have a good effect beyond the confines of the telephone business. It suggests that all great utilities will have to prepare for leadjustments of costs downward whenever this is pos sible, and without waiting for inteifei ence from Washington. Talk, at leasl, will be cheaper, and that means something. 'Ihe news has a hopeful sound. It indicates that if the tide has not turned it mav turn befoie long. THE McADOO CHARGES WHEN Congress meets Monday one of its first duties should be to call ft. c-oecreiary .ucaooo belore a competent tuwiinii.i.ue ami mawe mm tall whether he disclosed actual figures, taken from the confidential income tax ropoits of soft coal operators, when he said they were making as high as 2000 per cent in 1917, or whether he was merely guess ing. Coming from the head of the Tieas- Urv who fiver Vio,l c, ...:.: . .. i fi J . ouFcivisiun oi tne collection and audit of income tax te turns the charges of McAdoo are highly important aside from the effect on the soft coal situation. If he has leally blabbed official secrets, he is the first Wgh officer of the government thus to Kjve justification to the feat- of those opponents of the piesent system of fed e,fal taxation who insisted that forcing , private firms and corporations to open their books to inquisitorial authority would place a dangerous weapon in the hands of ambitious politicians, Imagine the minatory effect upon big business aiound election campaign time if a candidate for high office is to be per flitted to destroy public confidence in such corporations by hinting and in nuendo based upon official accessibility io these tax reports! As every shrewd itccountant knows, there are many ways of Interpreting corporation books in theso day? pf complex and involved businssa and finapcial operations, and BQ matter how honest and fair a man agement may be, jts affairs can be made to fcppear questionable by garbled quo- lattiwi tt anmlnfTfl nr pimnlnw ctlt w.J1 VTf" "" - -'.e' -..., ow ileum- , jng on the truth here and there, espe i urjly, if, 3 la Ihe case of the coal op erators, the very generality of the alle gations makes a specific answer nearly impossible. Mr. McAdoo ptolwbly feels that the gravity of the coal crisis warranted his assertions, but in that case they should be proved up to the very hilt, and this proof should be pioduced in the proper and legal way, with full sanction for publicity. His appearance befoi. a congtessional committee, with the con sent of the President to show the facts, is the only fair conclusion to his sensa tional chaiges, which, if neithet proved nor disproved formally, can only clutter up the coal muddle with new bias and misunderstanding. . PESSIMISTS TO THE REAR! . OPTIMISTS TO THE FRONT The Things That Are Done Justify Thankfulness; the Tilings That Arc Snld Do Not Matter NOTHING would be easiei today than to indulge in pessimistic lefiections. It is moie than a vcar since the nimi- stice was signed and the woild is tilled with umest. As Blasco Ibanez has -aid, we sop "the menacing panoply of social l evolution galloping hard on the heels of wai," not only in I'm one but in Amoi ica as well. Riots follow strikes, -and the bolshevuing plotteis aie attempt ing to set up soviet governments heie and abioad. If one looked only on the suiface and if one foigot the past, it would be difficult to escape the conclusion tnai the woild is out of joint and that then is no one at hand tu set it light The optimists, howevei, will lemem bor Browning's poem, in which lust anil muider weie i mining not within doois. while a young gill went up and down the stieet singing find x 111 hi heuven Ml a llRlii uitlt the wurltl Things might be much vvore than thev now aie. The piospcct was much darker in America on Thanksgiving Dav in 1804. Dunng the whole winto of Valley Toige our forefathers passed tlnough a period of discouragement in companion with which the evils which apparentlv tin eaten us aie tuvial. When Coveinoi Bradford issued his fust Thanksgiving pioclamation, after the harvest of 10'JI the hazaids that still confionted the biavc pioueeia worn such as would have made the ease-roving nessimists of the nie-pnt quail bofoie them and plan to take the net ship back to the old counti v. The war has left uiaiiv things in so lution, but it has not pioduced condi tion's which at all losemblo those that, were bi ought about b the invasion of Euiope by Attila. nor has ciwli.alion been turned back for centuries, as hap- f nened . when the baibariaiis fiom the Not 111 oveuan Rome and produced what is known as the Daik Age. Civilization has ti lumohcd It has been tried bv fi'e The woild was tested that it might be known whether theie was loyaltv enoup-h to light and justice to beat down selfish gieed when it sought to foice it- way upon thp nations. And it stootl the test. This fact stands out todav as the gu at achievement of the wai. It should not lie foi gotten as one contemplates the difficulties encouiagecl in stiaigiuening out the tangle in which the wai en meshed the nations. In tvventv-fivp or fifty yeais the issue of Fiume. the efforts of Russia to find heiself aftei centimes of despotism, the st niggles of the little nations to get on their feet, the debutes over the wisdom or unwisdom of a learue of nations, will be lemembeipd only by the histoiian. They aie meielv the dust stilled up by the wheels of the chariot of piog iess, blinding to those by the loadsidc, but disappearing as the chariot moves on. What is hnppsning in our own counti y Heed discouiagp no one. On the sur face theie is discontent, talk of invo lution, peaceful oi otherwjse, and theie aie tho-e who would have us believe that the conflict between laboi and cap ital vvas never befoie so fieice But while the winds of agitation lash the waters into a foam the deeps aie calm. It is not in talk that we discover the mind of the people, but in action. The othei day they had an election in Massachusetts, wheie ptieme lalical--m was put to the test Th" voters of the statP, two-thiids of whom aie foi-eign-boin or spiung fiom naients born abroad, repudiated the kind of ladical ism for which one candidate stood, and elected by the laigest majontv in a generation the candidate who insisted that this is a counti y of law, that those laws are to be executed bv regularly chosen rcpiesentatives of the people, and that the peace officers owe then allegiance to the people, who aie the state, and not to any private organiza-' tion of their own making. The attempt to bolshevize the labor unions, of which much has been said, will fail as surely as the effort to bol shevize Massachusetts. The expulsion of the "borers from within" has alieady begun, and it will continue until oi ganized laboi has purged itself and ic moved all cause foi suspicion of its genuine Americanism. And capital is seeking more zealously than ever befoie to come to an under standing of the point of view- of labor. It was announced onlv yesteiday that ten corporations, with a capital of bil lions, aie working out a plan of co operation with the employes which will give the men a largei shaie in the man agement of the business and a more generous shaie in its profits. Em ployers in all parts of the country aie studying the problem with a sinccio desire to put the workers and the wage payers in human relations that they may work together for a common end. These things that are happening aie much more significant than all the de claiming in the proclamations and on soap boxes which has been deafening the ears to the quiet processes of evolution. "All's right with the world," as Pippa sang, in spite of the fact that it has not yet reached its goal; just as all is right with & twelve-year-old boy who has jiojt yet reached mnn'a estate. We ENING PUBLIC LEDGEtt aro struggling through darkness up toward the light. o seem to move in ciicles, returnihg upon oursejves nni meeting .the old evils nt each tuin, but the circles move in spirals nnd each time we complete the ring wo are a lit tle higher than the last. We see tho light nhend of us and that assuies us that we aie on the right path. So on this day set apart for thanks giving, it is fitting that we should all take a film giip on ourselves, butticss oui hope with confidence nnd express oui gratitude to the God of Things as They Aie that He lias given us faith to believe that He is also the God of Things as They Will Up and that He has seen the end fiom the beginning. Antl we should be thankful, too, that He has im planted in us that spirit of lightcous ncss which will fight the powers of daikncss, no matter what tho ppril to ouiselves, in the firm belief that it will ultimately triumph THE DRAMA AT CHIHUAHUA pENERAl. KELIPE ANGELES, who - vvas psecuted at Chihuahua yestei day, vvas a Mexican who turned rsvolu llonist when the government, which he lojally sought to support, had censed to exist. Had Madeio not been weak and visional v, nge!es might have succeeded in saving him. As it was, a brilliant officer and a statesman of discernment, who had hoped that the ovcrthiovv of P.oifnio Diaz might inauguinto a new cia of liberty in Mexico, saw his cause be ttayed bv conspiiators and his eountiv tinned over to the bmtality of the in sensate Hucitu. Angeles ink-trusted Cuiiunru, who ap pealed to him as the wrong instalment for leforming the nation and quelling the fences of anaich.v. Theie aie ob seivers of the Mexican chaos who sub sciibe to this view. So far as the United States is con cerned, it is not much l evolutionists. in the strictly political sense, which have rmbanasscd our 1 elation with Mexico as it is the gangs of despeiadoos and bandits, sniffing foi swag and ran soms. Felipe Angeles was loyal to his principles. H was a nulitaiy lcadei. not a load agent. He undei stood the Vniencan aspect of the Mexican piob lem and the delusions concerning it which aie so pievalent among his counti ynicn. His execution was doubtless intended to sene as an impicssivc exhibit of the Carianza power Ihstoiv is ippletc with instances of shovv.v eleventh-hour dis pla.vs of despotic authonty by govern nipnts on the veige of fall. The strength of Caesar was his clemency. The imnussion that Angeles was dc libeiately raihoaded to his death is not easy to dispel.- Caiiana could easilv have vavtd him. Undei the ciicum stances punishment mav have been need ful, "but not the staging of a molodrama. That is what the shooting at Chihuahua seems to have been s0 far as the gov ernment of Mox-ieo City is involved. The inspning figuio m the sc-e-ie vvas unquestionably Angele-, who died with fine coinage. It is conceivable that the Mexican people may link his manly con duct with certain of the sane and patn otic tenets which he championed. If a i faction, inspned by the nienioiy 'of the death of Angeles, should set iii, recollection of his attitude towaid Amei-ic-a and his contempt foi banditiy may accompany it. It may pertinently be asked whether Mexico has lost anothei Juaie. or Moielos. They, too, weie i ev olutionists. 'I'd the ill i laialinn nf 1'l.iin oi lis in William t: Mi Ailim Lacuna Sntlims Unit i-nal uiiiip ()wi cms m nlr "elimKuiK mill imlcliiisihli." pmlits in t!H7 i,0 . latins ictDit that siuli iiiMtuilins stnte iinnts ami iiisiniinliiiiis aie tin- l.iml ,,i stnn" vvhifli IjiiMieusm IummN upon " I'mm which we ili.ii! sp,. that the coal mtu.ition oii tiiiiios io Im a mini. 0f gnoinip wisdom l.ni.il fodiiiil ampuls Hie i-.nd li hi tin nil 'I hat's thp lit hit linos (il ti riidielitlul IMllo lunik entitled "The 'iiafler un the !nd. in. The Healpei .Sculped " It j pnuttil In Tho Courts in wiumiit foim for imoliint.il j suhveription. , , V1, " s Co,,on "in I'atih Ian Later slintth address the " Suut ,,f Sigma xi un Ihe ' llMmy of thp Clothes Moth " Hut mil nj of us huvp lost Intei et in the subject Miife we sliutid to wiin Hie lust suit in the he l,ei 'I ho pinhtppi lins it all "I'iriepn Men on a mn the pimitppr as Di.nl .Man's Chest." .m ,, m n t e u i pirate i'lf- 'Un pihutm had to S hunt his loot, hut we nil fall ovei phi li other to enrich the profiteer. The Kfds who me indulRiiiK themselies with a limiKPi Ke in I.'lhs rslitnd nip iilixiousl hniiuiK that this is not n fire lounti and that tin will not he permitted to plane themsehes to death laiuil uiiiuiisof the AmenVau I'ederatioii of l.ithoi Imvp ih dared war on Iteds who aie "borinc from within." To iptuse to be hoted is a sign of mental activity. If .MeAdoo's lettpt was n hid for the prcsidene it is evident that he cares not nt all fur the ininc-operatoi vote. When iIipip is no othpi vvn of breaking a rifHdltwk Kate somotimps tries a little soup. 'Ihe Impecunious One deriaies that tho mil pun nf the 'tinlvP he expects to see Jodii ! the wishbone. Nobmh, wo me iiSHiued, has author!! to hinak for .Mr Moore, but etprjbody'ii iloliiR it doing it, doing it. Remember the days when roast turkey was -ined at the fue-luncli countera? Yiulpniteh's arm failed to come to the scroti h hv do tho burglars break luto stores and stoat furs wlicn, With the same amount of mime and ciitertultp, they might break Into a grocery and get some sugar? ' 'lo blanio tho rrciddent for all things done and left undone is somewhat inenmdat eut with the i barge that lit h trjing to mako himself the whole government. Tho opinion is being assiduously culti vated that Wood is good presidential timber. - PHIL'ADELPHU, THURSDAY, NOVSfiMBEft THE. GOWNSMAN "Till: HONKS OK HEN .IONHON" TTtVIJUY mhoolboy kuows the verses which -' are inscribed on the tomb of Shnkes neare in the chinch at Stratford, In which the poet, or somebody who wrote far below. his stle for him, adjures the tender: (iood friend, for Jesus sake fotbcnr To dig the dust enclosed line. Blest he the man that spnrcs theso stones, Ami curst be ho that moves my bones. Mad Hen .lonnn known what was In store for him, gladly would he hnve borrowed his friend's prutcHting epitaph. "VTOIt was Hhakespenro's precaution tin - ' net essnry. The preiincts of the riiureh were a protection against desecration. Hut these pipiincts were napow; especially few were i hoice plmos like thnt of Shakespeare's in the i ham el . and the custom wns to remove (he older bodies from time to time to the i hnrnel house, where the bones of the well-to-do nnd the pauper might lie scattered and indistinguishable, to make place for new iKitipants whoso heirs were In possession of more cuneiil nin. It wns the thought of the chninel house. ) er loveied mute with dead men's rat tling bonei Willi icakv shanks and vellow fhr.pless skull tint fnghteiled .lullel as she was about to take tin" sleeping potion; and tiavcleis will icmember the giuc-onic toilet tion in Cologne of the bones of the ten thousand virgins nnd the fantastic ornamentations made in the civpt of one of the ancient i burr lies of Rome of thesp lust h mains of hundreds of devout monks. AN OI, I) stotv urns that Ben .loiium, in rollmpiv with King Chailes. asled for it modest little piece of giound, to be two feet b two. ami that the king leplied that he should have it and in whatsoever place the poet himself might choose Whereupon lonsnii i hose We-tminstei Abbev Whether this sni. in one of its several valiants, be tine oi not. certain it is thnt Ben Jonson, dving. wns hulled in the north aisle of the Abbe, "in tho pith of square stone (blue marble, fourteen lnibes squiitc'l, and that in oidei that his might not trespass on other staves, his lofhn vvas let down into a di ep gmve and stood on end .lon'on died in Augii-t. HV'iT. nnd, shortlv nftei. one link .oung. wnlkiug in the Abbe.v. nintiiioil the plai e of the poet's tomb and finding II unmarked, gave a stiinn uttei woiking nun i ightei u p ni e to i lit inMho pavement the wolds, O rate Bon .lonsnn " HKBi: out stni ought to end, but there i a giiiPsnme epilogue for the lemtlect uig and new m doling of vvhuli tho (towns man is nidi bled to 1'iof. .1. Q Adams, of Cm noil, in a icienl papei of his on the iibjeii J'oi IMi enrs .lotisou stood in his giave -the (lownsman ran not bring hlm--elf to aiiept the slandeioiis talc that the poet as bulled with his fi et upmost. .And it happening that a I.adv ASiNon. wife of i distinguished soldiei . was assigned a lest Hii. plnio lontiguous to .Innson's in the making of the new giave the i rumbling 1 1 in mis of Ihe old poet weie dist o-ed. A soiiiewhnt realistic litter bv one ".1 C. B.," iiintubuted to the (iontlpninn's Magaine.of Siptembtr. IS'J.T, tolls how. aftei the futieial oT I.iuh Wilson, the vviitoi had ("caminul .liiiiMin s giave and found it to be some eighteen itifhes siiiaie: how ho ripwed tlie it mains anil infeiied from then position, a matti'i icndili explained, the top tiliv.v notion noted above and also that .lonxiu wns of small statute, a point on which theie is other evident o "J C B " tolls us huallv that after he and npparontl nthois. who weie oqunllv ' i urions ' had "examined tiio skull and other detaihed bones, which weie h mil peifut and of tin usual blown mini " tho it mains weie "again biiuoil wllli the mot si iiipiilous i in i BI'T .loiiMiu s hones weie mil destined to tomnin long m peine As fate would have it, in lS-tll, Sin Robert followtd I.ady Wilson, his wife, to the giavo. and niraiige monts were made to lav him beside her. Oneo mine weie the bono-, of Bin .Itiason uiiiovoiod to the light and the uiattei caie fullv noted hv I'ruiit is Buckland. a iung student of siiigciv, sou of the then Dean of Wcslminstei. Bin klaud w into, in part, ns follows; "Aftti n time the men fiuiiul a i ofliu vei.v iniiih tlisnvid vvh'ih. fiom the appeal. line of tin leiiiains, must have ong itiall.v been plat oil in an upright position. The skull found among these lemains, Spite, tho grnvedigger. gave me as thnt of Bon .Jonson, and I took it at once into tho dean's siiulv We examined it togethci, and then, going into the Abbev imcfiilh letiimcd it to tho einth: tetaiiiing, howovti, a few fingments of the tolhn wood." ASSl'REDI.Y two tlisinteiinents might be thought vicissitude enough for any man after death. But not so as to the perturbed remains of .Tonson. In ISofI tho same VraneiH Buckland, who had made an enviable reputation meanwhile m medital siiente. rescued the remains of tho eele hated John Huntei, described as the founder of modem surgoiv and arranged to have them lointeired in Westminster Abbev. As Jlie malevolence of ihatioe would have it, tho authorities those a spot next to the grave we can mil mil it the losting pl.ue of Ben .loosen. And now the stoiv becomes lomplicatecl, the London Times of March lift, tft."!), declaring that the skull of Jonson "was fieri handed about,'" at the cere monies attending the teinternient of Dr. Huntei, Bucklnnd tolling circumstantially how he hid it to pieent precisel this dese cration, placing it on the top of Dr Hunter's coOni nnd waiting until the grave was filled that there could be no possibilit of an one's lemoving it. Six voais later appeared a stor thnt Jonson skull had been abstracted from the Abbev and was reposing among other curiosities in the cabinet of a private gentleman. Dr Buckland was sent for by Denn Stnnlo, and, investignting. came upon still another Rtorv. that of Ifydo, formerly clerk of the woiks of the Abbey Ityde de clared that it was he who saved the skull of Jonson, taking it into his office during the funeral of Dr Hunter nnd leturning it to its plnce fifteen Inches below the stone in scribed "O rare Hen Jonson." All may have been right, for there are many skulls beneath tho Abbey floor. Meanwhile, which is which? "Alas, poor Yorick!" The Russian Bolshevist who fooled his fellows into the belief that he bad purchased "Entente imperialist statesmen" disproved the theory that there is honor among thieves. If hremen can make more money out of the department than in it, Supply and De mand will do more to cause Councils to raise their salaries than an appeal et made. If the price of shoe leather continues to rise, the Rtnall boy will have no difficulty next summer in persuading his parents to allow him to go barefoot If wc made peace as wc made war Ger many by this tima would have fulfilled many of the pledges demanded of her. If Golden Rule Jones were to return to Toledo he would find a great field for nis labors in the street car situation. Ullious Washington i00i.g on jhe orW through yellow1 ulasses. 1' '- X. X . I ' f " . . THE CHAFFING DISH North Nth Street A I.I. pultlv up a vista endless flee ' The maihle dooisttps upon Nth stunt North, 1'iostiate to hoi stones and fniings forth Of men and maidens bent on jollit. lake unto tombstones gleam the gha-tl white, And uiiiii a man his giave theieby huth found, .And sliding oui into the winter night Hath basin d his ball bean against the giound. And often in n wet and vanished da Dear pater wambled down the woozy stieet Amid the white and whirling stops to meet Himself come wambling back the other way. Tell me. tomlnitoi of the Nth stieet cut, . Aie nimble minds whole nun hie dooi steps aie? AI.KC B. STEVENSON. Among the things to be thankful for we Humiliate the movies Just think of ittuin ing to Hit' status iiio niite fillum. Lots of bunk about these davs. outself. Watch The Spiucc stieet car Is always amusing on a tainy moiuiug, when everybody is a little swift of temper. They were climbing in, antl the motorman vvas uttering exhortation, reproaches and maxims of haste in a lesonant bass. One passenger seemed to take offense at being adjuied to gientor dispatch and admonished the motorman to emit less tumult. Tho motormau vvas not at . loss. He turned around with menacing phis' and spoke fortibl "1 don't need any of our advice," he said "Mind jour own business. That's what Stephen (iiiard did " Whenever we me tempted to lament the surplus of toil and arduous perseverance that afflict our existonre we bethink ourself of our nlwajH-on-tlic-job friend, the Chinese laundrman. This nicc-natiired soul, who approaches work in the same spirit that we draw near to a hot mince pic, is so nfraid of not laughing at a joke that he luiighs at everything his customers say to him. True Story of the Shrill and the Falsetto Our cheeiful client Arthur Crabb tells us a little tale about the distribution of two morning papers out in Bryn Mawr. Tor purposes of eticpiette we will call these pa pers tho Snrilf and the Falsetto. It seems that our friend Mr. Crabb hadn't been getting his customary copy of the Shrill in the mornings. To his great disgust the Falsetto had been coming to him, and he complained to the newsdealer. Tho news dealer explained that the boy on the route was ill in a hospital antl that he had had to go the lounti himself. No one but the hoy knew which houses on that circuit had papois delivered and which paper each one took. So the unfortunate newsdealer thought thnt in the emergency the only thing to do was to rely on the sagacity of the horse. He set out, allowing his steed to wander wheie he pleased. Vnfortunately, the animal seemed to go ion ml in circles, contradicting all the stories of equine sagacity. However, the hopeful dealer determined to do the best ho could. Every time the horse stopped he threw a paper on the porch of the nearest house, al ternating copies of the Shrill and the Fal setto. There Is probably a moral to the tale, If we can worm it out. Perhaps all tbo people on that route immediately put In subscrip tions for the Morning Squeak. Thanksgiving! Having alluded in candid fashion to the fact that our annual jug of cider had not been delivered, vve were pleased by the prompt arrival of our Jocular client Page Allinson, bearing from Vcst CkssUr. demijohn of 27, 1919 "THANKS, YESr the finest apple-nectar we have evei gur gled. Chatting Dish want ads bring lcsiills, we may be pcimittcd to obsene. Tho best wa.v or looping a man out of misihief is to see to it that he has a laigo and mist ollnntoiis tonospondente. Eveiy time wo aie tempted to speud an evening of spin ions mil 111 wo recall that pile of unan swered letlois. One Thing That Hasn't Gone Up Diogenes had just been appointed sules manager. "I notice one thing." he said, as he waved his lanteiu over the expense accounts of the tiaveliug nun. "Tho 'Incidentals' seem to have gone down a good deal since the fiist of Jul." Ejaculations In a Phone Booth Of all sad words of tongue or phone, The tustfullest aie six, 1 own; Oh words which leave mo far from sunuv : "Line's busy, I'll ictiirn your money." A New Member of the I. W. W. Oui gonial financial editor, alwa.vs on the lookout foi tiansactions involving laigc sums of bullion, has called our attention to the following: A C Haiclv foi fifty-five ears employed by tho Irving National Bank, was pre sented with a purse of $1 on his seventieth birthday by the Irving National Bank New York Tribune Brief Essay on Music , Our friend the Soothsa.ver has been telling us about the opera, and wc have been won dering whether wo really oight to improve oiuself bv putting on our soup and fish clothes once in a while and mingling with the dazzling shoulders of the p.irtenp. There tan be no doubt that opera, ,w bother grand or petty, is the most elaborately humorous artifice contrived bv man. Yet, if vve must confess, our own idea of really satisfing music is "School-days" as we,are accus tomed to sing it to ourself when 'walking tlnough the stioets ljito on n rainy night. In the strict privacy of Washington Square, about 11 o'clock of an evening, vve have managed to intone that sugared ditty with tremolo thrills that bring tears to our eyes. "School-days, scha-bule das, tleeeear oln golden nile days"'- wo give ,vou our word for it, vve can confer vry sweet sorrow upon ourself in this innocert way. One of the sad features of a department like this is that vve have to make ourself out such a terrible boob. There's another thought that bursts upon us. How does it fool to have grown gray writing minor poemsV Well, if we survive u few jears wc shall know. Ornamenting Literature With Smiles Our two lovers, l.ldle antl her Charlie, now descended the northern slope of tho mountain. Hero Lidle found In the lecent resignation of hei heart visions of roses blooming about the door of her future mansion, with humming-birds nestling In tho vines, and the lce of him she loved falling upon her ears like apples of gold In the acoustic halls of peace And how changed seemed the fortunes of him by her side, who but an hour ago was whirling In the storm that had blown him to despair. "O great Jehovah," thought he, "can my happiness be real, or am I dreaming? If I am In the deceitful arms of Morpheus, may I never awake to sustain the regrets of my fancy; or, If I have fallen from some high cliff, where, bleeding with unconscious wounds, my dying hour Is sweetened with these visions, may that hour last, and the red current flow throughout the countless ages of eternity" His muse was heie broken by a gentle female xolco that nald, "What cold wave of silence Is passing over our brain?" These worda were the prelude to a low sweet musical conversation, ornamented with smiles The Balsam Groves of Grand father Mountain, SOQRATBS. ' v .x OLD JAPAN J 7"OI' that have known the wonder zone Of islands far away ; You that have heard the tlinkv bird And roamed in rich Cathn.v ; ou that have sailed o'er unknown seas To woods of Amfalula trees Wheie ciaggy dragons play: Oh, gul or woman, bov or man, You've plucked the Flower of Old Japan! Do vou remember the blue stream ; The bridge of pale bnmboo ; The path that seemed a twisted dream Where everything came true; The purple cherry trees; the house With jutting eaves below the boughs; The mandarins in blue, "With tiny, tapping, tilted toes, And curious curved niustachios? Ah. let us follow, follow far Beyond the put pie seas; , Boond the rosy fonming bar, The coial roof, the trees, The land of parrots, and the wild That rolls before the fearless child Its ancient mysteries; Onwntd and onward, if we cau ; To Old Japan to Old Japan. I'rom the Prelude to "The Flower of Old Japan," by Alfred Noyes. D'Annunzio muBt havc.banked his fires of youth. Kvery breeze of opportunity stir it again to flames. What Do You Know? QUIZ 1 What is chauvinism? ii. Name two cities tn Schleswig-Holstein. '., Who was "William Wycherly? 4. Name two Presidents who dropped their hist names in political life, fi, What is the origin of the game of bowling? (5. AVhat is a truncheon? . 7. Name two anti-Rohhevik generals. is. In what city have steps been taken to organize a labor party? f). Who was Felipe Angeles? 10. What people regularly use the term "Your Oracc" in addressing each other? Answers to Yesterday's Quiz 1. The Herman official request for an armli stire icacliod Washington October 7, 1018. IS. Norwav. b,v decision of the Peace Coun til, is to be given possession of Spitz bergen? :. Spitzbergeu is an Island in the Arctic ocean dlicctly north of Norway. Itx northern extremity touches 80 north latitude. 1. Mohammed spoke the verses of the Koran, which he declared had been leValed to him from heaven. These verses were at first committed to memory by the Mohammedans. The caliph Abu-Bokr ordered that they should bo written down, and Zeld, an amanuensis of the prophet, was as signed to the work, 5. Senator Harding is from Ohio. 0. Alexander Stephens was the vice presi dent of the Confederacy. 7. "Saute" literally means "jumped." 8. It should be pronounced as though it were spelled "so-tay." 0. Trcbizond and Erzcrum are two of the chief titles of Armenia, 10, The narwhal has also been called the "sea unlcotUi" It Is a cetacean, re sembling the white whole In the want of a dorsal fin, but It has no teeth except two in the upper jaw, which occasionally develop intq spirally twisted straight tusks passing through the upper Up and projecting like horns In front. c . u I " r i I tit T 1-. e 1( "It I "1 r ill H o n I 1 I I ' xi-' ,1 f it "J 1 & B, L
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers