11 -V v -i'r'Wiwirt'-i"Trr''"' i. -no - f r EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER PHILADELPHIA, SATURDAY, AUGUST 23, 1919 r -xo il " W"1IT"" ! m Wt I aft SJ I fife i Ml! eli It 'n Eyening public Ee&ger PUDLIG LEDGEK COMPANY . ! i emus it. k. cunTis. rmNT - Chsrlni lr. t.udlnnen VIc Fraldrnt. John C. Martin. Secrriarr anrt Tmmrin Philip 8 C'nlUnv John n. Wl'llamt Jehu J Ppumcon Ulrnrtora. k-OlToniAt, CO.VUD. Crica If. 7-C. Cnrrn. Chairman ri, DAVID E. 8MILET Editor JOHNC MAIVTIN. Oneral HuHnc ann IMWlnhtd dxllr nt Prst-io Ltnoi null'inr. Independence ,rnuare. I'htUUelphta. Atubtio Cm Prtti-Unim Bulldlnc -bw Toil.. . .S06 Metropolitan Tonor IDBTKOIT 701 Fonl UulM'nc ST. LoclB. 1008 Iiillrrtnn UulM'nc CH1C1Q0 1307 TrlbuJ.t UulMliig KEvra ntmcAt'S: T'aniNnTnN ticiiSAD. N B. or. t'cnnsjlvanla A' c. anil Itlri St. TCeir Yok ttrnwu Tim Sun HtT'iltnjr London Bchkac London Timta sritiTKiPTioN Tnnjts Tha 3rMso X'l ni.li I.KP,ipa H aervrd to ub crtbara In Philadelphia and mirrouncllnir immi at th ata of twelve. 112) centa per week, paj able Itr Call .n'polnts outllde or Philadelphia. In tha tinned Statea. Canada c Unltnl Htits r-- aesalnna, poeiato tree niiy ", rrma per innnin ix dm dona r per yar, paynble In advance. To all forelm corntrles one (It; dollar per NoTl'm fluherrlr.fr Trl-hlnr ariilrns ctmnictil nuat live old ae well a new i Mrcs". BEtL. JOM VALMT KEYSTONE. MAIM 3049 ICT Aiidreal ftll con mioilcnhon- to V.vm'no Public Ledper, Independence ."qucrc. VUilgtt"vhin. Member of the Associated Press VJIB ASSOCIATED PRESS ;. cxclti lively entitled In lf use for republication f all news dispatches credited to it or nut otherwise credited in this paper, and also the local news published therein. All right' o! republication nf special dis patches rrin ire alio ifs'ri'rf. rhlladalphlii. Saturdm, iisuu i:x IPIU WOMEN AND THE MAYORALTY MRS. JOSEPH P. MUMFOUD may not be able to do much for 1 eform in her telephone campaign to rouse feminine interest in the mayoralty fight and in crease an independent registration. But he will at lenst provide an interesting test of the degree of women's interest in the practical application of the franchise. So far, Gven in the suffrage states, women have manifested little enthusiasm for down-to-the-ground politics. What will they do in West Philadelphia when Mrs. Mumford entreats them over the wire to urge their husbands to the regis tration booths for the sake of righteous ness? A study of the ii dependent regis tration figure.-, west of the Schuylkill ought to be interesting later along to those who believe that the women's vote, ,and the women's vote alone, can save the country from the unregenerate bosses. MUCK AMERICAN good nature and the touch of provincialism that is, curiously enough, a distinguishing characteristic of 'tho few who honestly regard themselves as the cultured elect, opened the path of roses over which Dr. Karl Muck strode .coldly to fame and money in the United States. Yet Muck remained a pro German to the last. When he was finally forced to play tho "Star Spangled "Banner" at his conceits he did eerything ,but jazz that stately tune. Wo run snare the ex-lion of the Boston Orchestra, whose principal talent it was to seem bored even when the applause ''of his worshipers was loudest. A good many people who were by no means hys terical when the question of enemy aliens was raised will regret that he was pei mitted to go in unruffled dignity up the gangplank. Some one should huve been there to kick him aboard the -ship NINE HOURS FOR SLACKERS rriHE sole change which the new legis- tration act made in the system whereby the citizen qualifies as a oter reduces to a minimum excuses for the neglect of his duty. Under the old law the registration places were open from 7 to 10 am. and from j to 10 p. m. Now the officials will serve from 7 a. m. until 1 p. m. and under the former schedule in the afternoon and evening. Totaling the three registration Ua.. nine more hours of opportunity to pei form the extremely simple jet indis pensable function of citizenship are pro vided. Entire indiffeience to the city's welfare is now the only argument which the slacker can consistently advance. Consideration for the citizen', engage ments and personal obligations ha.- been .deep. It is now up to him to be consid erate of a sensible law f'-amed to prevent corruption on election day. CROWDED SCHOOLS AGAIN rpHE lamentable spectacle of a great - city with inadequate school-buildmg facilities will be presented on September 8. It is estimated that 23.000 children will be on part time. There are no new structures to relieve the situation. To add to the difficulties the treasury of the Board of Education is seriously handi capped by the failure of the state to sup ply money to meet the new salary in crease for teachers. From an economic standpoint, the schools of Philadelphia are always in trouble. Yet there is no valid reason why their plight should be chronic. Pennsyl vania and Philadelphia are lich enough and powerful enough to perfoim the pri- mary duties of a state and of a city to furnish sufficient school accommodation for the children and to pay the teachers what they are woith. The practice of starting a school year with part-time pupils is a dismal and all-too-familiar confession of indifference and ineflieiencj . STAGE WAR NEARS HOME PHILADELPHIA'S inconspicuousness J as a summer "show town" has given somewhat academic character to our Interest in the actors' strike. But August is on the sliding board now. The Labor Day inaugural of our theatri cal season has become traditional. Are llio returned vacationists to enjoy foot- Jight refreshment or must they seek di version in the inextinguishable silent drama, the museums or the zoo ? Nobody really knows. Some openings have been postponed, others canceled. A Q few of the autumn attractions are still iuAeduled. But the situation is as cloudv 3 m it is phenomenal. r ' All but five of New York's theatres are 5i HaW" closed. Burlesque and vaudeville " ,'re still flourishing; throughout the coun- U;r,,:u,u' "-! ju.iuiuvu y. ,uC mv .lgriMI ktjas it possible to determine juut ,A.rX-lJ0ta.tl,,, Theoretically, we ought to be able to exist without the mirror held up to nii turf. And yet it is denials of luxuries which always seem so particularly pain ful. Persons barred during the war from using three lumps of sugar in their coffee know just how distressing the depriva tion WHS. Much ns both belligerents in the pres ent "war" threaten to be unyielding, it seems inevitable thnt some adjustment will have to he reached before long. One side or the other must eventually respond j to the public's r.eal for self-indulgence. .LAFEAN AND AMBLER PRODUCTS OF "THE SYSTEM" The Theory That Public Office Exists for the Benefit of the Office Holders Is the Curse of American Government TT IS not pleasant for self-respectitje Pennsylvamans to contemplate the spectacle of the former state banking commissioner and the former state in surance commisjioner undei an est, charged with offenses in office. The two former officials headed the great departments created for the pro tection of the public in its t elation with the banks and the insurance companies doing business in the state. Their duty was to see that both the insurance com panies and banks were solvent. Then functions were fiduciary and not political. They were the tmstees of the people But why was Daniel ! l.afean ap pointed banking comnnssionei " His entrance into that office was not so many years ago that the history of the appointment is forgotten. William H. Smith had held the office of commissioner of banking for many years. He was a capable official, familiar with the banking laws mid possessed of a fine sense of re sponsibility to the public. Ho was asked to permit the politicians to use the pa tronage of his department to vewaid po litical workers. He refused to make a great business office a part of a political machine. Ho wa asked to resign. The bankers of this city and of Pittsbuigh wrote to the Governor protesting against any change in the hanking depaitment. Hut Smith had to get out. Then Daniel I-. Lafean was appointed, and under his regime the North Penn Bank was looted. Under his regime the insolvency of the bank was reported m Harrisbuig. And under his regime the bank was allowed to continue to do busi ness, taking the deposits of the unsus pecting public and making way with then money by devious devices not yet fully tracked out. And why was Charles A. Ambler made ni.-uiance commissioner? Was it because he knew anything about the insurance business? Of course not. Under the system which demanded that the banking department be used to lewaid political workers Ambler was put at the head of a great state department. He had been a candidate for the nomina- tion for auditor general and had been defeated. It was necessary "to take care of him." So they looked around foi an appointive office just as good as the audi tor generalship and found it in the lnsut ance department. No one seemed to care whether the man fitted the office. All they were looking" foi was an office with a oalaiy that would fit the man. Now Mr. Ambler is charged with using i the North Penn Bank a.- a convenience I ' for making the state iunds in his charge I I aailabl" for use in his pinate business. I ! The surprising featuie of the state of ' affairs which the failure of the Noith ( I Penn Bank ha exposed is not that it I exist-, but that it has not oocuned befoic. ' It is the expected outcome of the system . . B0vemment a, the mainst'a of the politicians. It is the logical develop ment from the Iheorj that public office exists for the public officials. This theory is not peculiat to Peiui sjlvania. The politicians in eveiy state aie guided by it and it is not unknown in national politics. It is nototious tliat Preside nt Wilson made William Jen-ning.- Biyan secretary of state not be cause the distinguished free-silver advo cate was qualified fo the office, hut be- , cause he wished to disaim u dangerous opponent and pi event him from making ' trouble outside the breastworks. And Bryan fell down completely as secretary i of state when the test came and he had ' to get out. I Notorious instances elsewlieie, how ever, do not justify or excuse scandalous i instances in this state. The public offi cial who refuses to act on the theory I always wins the confidence of the people. It was the insistence of Grover Cleveland ' as mayor of Buffalo that he was the ! trustee of all the people and not the j almoner of a political organization elected to reward tne w oncers ot any party at public expense that made him governor of New York and then Presi dent of the United States. Yet in spite of this shining example we have men in office who think that the way to get pro motion is by dickering with the bosses and buying their support by appointing their followers to office. They act as though the primary function of govern ment were the creation and maintenance of a political macnine. We do not mean to suggest that a po litical machine has not its uses, nor do we mean to imply that the men who tuke an interest in politics should not be ap pointed to office. But we do mean to be understood as insisting that the men ap pointed to office should be tit to perform the duties of the offices to which they are appointed. They may be as active as you please in party management if they are also qualified to servo as trustees of the people in the perform ance of their public duties. The system has been irritating for years to the high-minded men in politics. They have seen state departments run ning along in a slipshod way, wasting the public money, when the application of sound business principles by a man familiar with them and interested in the work of his department would have brought order out of chaos and would have returned to the taxpayers full value for every dollar they have paid. It is not too much to say that the pres- 1 ent Governor of this commonwealth is nttempting to apply business principles to state business. As soon as possible after he wbb sworn in he removed both Ambler and Lafean. Their administra tions did not measure up to the standard which he had set. Whether they are criminally guilty or .tot is beside the question just now. They proved that they were not the right sort of men for the offices which they held. They might have served successfully in some other departments, but they failed miserably where they were put. The leal issue back of all the other issues before the voters of Philadelphia today is whether they want the city to be governed for the next four years in accordance with the theory that public office exists for the benefit of the office holders, whether they want a Mayor elected in order to strengthen a local po litical oiganization or whether they want a Mayor elected to devote himself pri marily to the economical and efficient conduct of public business. THE "WHAT'S THE USE?" CROWD TiniEN eh otherwise good citizen is ' urged to vote at the primaries he too often replies with the question, "What's the use? The organization will nominate its candidates and I have no time to waste." According to the present indioations, the next Mayor will be chosen at the pri maries on September 10. Unless some thing unforeseen happens, the man who wins at the primaries will be the nuui who will win at the November election, just as the imin who wins at the pri maries in the southern states is assured of election. JThe South is not so solid as it seems to be on the surface. There are two Democratic parties in most of the states and they have their contests in the primary elections. The number of votes cast in those elections is greater than the number polled at the elections which give title to office. If there is to be improvement in gov ernment in Philadelphia it must come about through a contest at the primaries. The "What's the use?" crowd, which is indifferent, must put away its indiffer ence and assume responsibility. Thete are encugh voters in it to get any kind of government they wish. They are ion trolled by no one. Their votes can be deliveied by no waid leader. But they do not vote at the piimaries and many of them do not even register to qualify for voting at the general election. To put the case in as extieme a man ner 'as possible, they ate like a merchant wiiu stands on the sidewalk curiously watching burglars loot his store, while he says to himself: "What's the use of inter fering? It's the business of burglais to rob and it is too much trouble for me to interfeie with them in the conduct of their business." THE WAY TO MAKE PEACE SENATOR FALL'S curiosity was so great that he wiote a list of twenty questions about the peace treaty which he asked tho Piesident to answer for him. He was especially curious about the ability of the President to make peace without the action of the Sennte. Mr. Wilson has answeied him so di rectly and so precisely that the senator can no longer be in any doubt that the way to make peace is to make peace and as.-ume all the obligations involved. The attempt to pass the buck from the j Senate chamber to the White House failed miserably. Nnmr- (if (WaiI men I'lii" Mum of Life Mill remind us of those Miiorubli' snares where -b MincU'O vnloiJ lim- up solid for the .iies t'ouni'ils berth lij fnke petition, such us Hull for William Horn, prompts the iiuor? why some nil ion wasn't Riven the unburn Am it i-, Ihi- ry hoary dodge loinmincliM i lieei with gloom as nn index that sniiR "Blorj" mi-U it.- lefuge in the loiiih I Wooi! I'l.ut -inns u this wiii : It is not wars sinie lust Otii nii'l and Ouimt't meet u ku in. I'm on Hie "iepr Yes. Put Ii i- the hope ot etery Itevised Version polititian that jjeiv -eminent of the office holder hv the oftn eholilor and for the oftiec holdrr shall not perish fiom the earth I nele Sam is not disturbed by the dei lai at ion of one hundred thousand Mexi can railroad men (hat the? are ready to light if the piesent intei national situation lesultH iu hostilitiis He favors one job at a time, and the present job is to catch the bandits he has slatted after. Twenty -three tliou-itnil ihildteu in. Philadelphia tire riiiiir to be robbed of their rights when sihool opens. They will be loreed to no on half time during the terra because of the lack of school buildings. And nut more than twenty-two thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine will make complaint. The Wildwood baby show but con tinued the belief of most I'hiladelphians that ninong the things the city is "Hist" in must be ini lulled pretty babies. 'o. Irene, the proposed federal depart ment of aeronautics will have nothing to do with the regulation of high fliers. Aiihduke Joseph of Hungary hates to be among tho uneinplojed. and lie doesn't i are what kind of ,i job lie gets so that he's workinrfj While the police arc driving away street venders' standi", why not also drive away some of the mendicants? And alwajs there is hope that while the orators are busy with the high cost of living- somebody will find u remedy. Ucservationist.s are now- bending their energies to make an ex -article out of Article X. All the slates lituing been made, votern will get ready to mark 'em nnd clean 'em. The North Penn movie is just one In teresting close-up fitter another. Every economist lonccdes that a fair pine i Ji complicated affuir. Corn on the cob is composed largely 0f profit-ears. Living cost will slip Into its proper niche when everybody gks down to work. CONGRESSMAN MOORE'S LETTER Gossip About Arthur H. Lea, W. W. Gibbs, Samuel Gilpin, Albert GaW, C. D. Oyer, Jr., and Others TVVYLIGHT saving wns beaten because - there nre more farmers' votes in Coite gross than there 'arc votes from the indus trial centers. Men working in the mills nnd in the large cities wanted that extra hour of daylight. They used it in their gardens and for tecrcation, nnd they enjoyed it. Arthur 11. Lea, of Philadelphia, figured out that 1,000,0(10 tons of coal were tmved by dnj light saving. It also saved gas and electric light. This may have Induced a neutrality on the part nf gas nnd electric light companies, but even so it seemed a shame that the workers should be deprived of that extra hour they had learned to enjoy. Benjamin Krnnklln thought it. amazing thnt the people should lie nbed in the cool of the morning, leaving their shops closed nnd their work undone at what seemed to bo the choicest working hours. This sort of philosophy, however, had no effect on the farmer. He said tho cow and the pig did not take time from any schedule, except that of the sun. The farmer had the votes, the President and the industrial ists to the contrnry notwithstanding, and for the present daylight saving goes into tlje discard TTT W CUIUS, of the I'nion League, has ' 'more thnn n passing interest in the In ternational Mercantile Murine proposal to put 1000-feet ships into n four-days' serv ice across the water. It is a son of the Philndelphlnn who designed those ships. That boy with n big vision presented plans for a 1000-foot ship to the postmaster gen crnl witn" years' ago with the view of facilitating the postal service The postal authorities ere not able to put the scheme through, but the ship operators now pro pose to do it nnd that brings honor to the houne of Gibbs. "N'. W. Gibbs himself is no novice when it comes to tackling big things. Some nf his projects have not been successful, but it wns he who conceived the consolidation of gns companies, ond the origin of the United Gns Improvement Com pany may be credited to him. TN I5V-GOXE days when Henry Clay was -Hie big thing nt Ilensleys Point, the Pca 1 1 si 1 it Clubhouse, the Hungnlow and other points along the New Jersey coast were obliged to step lhely. The slogan, nnd it was it musical one. was: "From Hi'iisli-js Point to Sinners Point Is just three miles. From Somers 1'oint lo liiaslejs Point Is ju-t thru- miles." And we arc leniindi'd hv Samuel II. (iil pin, who still hangs up his shingle nt the commercial cchangc. thnt Ileasleys Point is just about an far from Somers Point its it ever wns. Samuel Gilpin used to repic scnt the Sixteenth ward in Councils and he knew n good deal about the game, lie is talking life i.iy now in the Forty-second waul, but does not foigel to keep in touch with his old friends. ALBERT GAW has been ta the govern--- ment sen ice so long that the memory of man almot "runneth not to the con tinry." "Allegory," as lie is known to "the Fiold Itiueaneeisof Itnrucgnt," informs us Hint the mayoralty tontest in Philadel phia is a hot one. nlthough thnt is about as far n a government official may dare express his opinion. Colonel Snyen, of Wayne and SI. David-, allege" that "Allegory" has as fine a seuse of poetry ns the late Finnk Fciiiiuoi'c, of whoc aciiinintancc he was er. pi oiul GI) DYEft, .115 . now of the Commercial T:iist Building, Philadelphia, was su perintendent nf the serviic in iluirge nf wel intc, safety. Young Men's Christian Assor i intlon. Hoe fsland Athletic Association. Hog Island News and all patriotic endeavois at Hoi Islnnd during the war period. With n Jot of bright joiing fellows, some of whom had been experienced in newspaper work, they ran up against the worst winter this generation lins known nnd accomplished wonders The report in Washington is that the Hog Island plant lind to hiie mure than 2."0.000 men in order to letnin the .".0,000 lcquired. During the first siv months .ot miS, 40.00(1 calls were made upon the wcl fsue depnttment for assistance nf one kind or nnotiui This bit of information is dug out bj the boy h in answer to Coroner Knight's lcrent reflection upon those who entered the shipbuilding service during the war. THEY hate lorined n National Republican Club in the city nf New York and Sen ator William M. Calder is nt the head of it. This club is reaching out for resident and nonresident members in thirty-nine states and territories, it claims a mem bership now of nearly SVH1. Wilbur P. Wakcman. one of the leading protectionists of New York is nsHoeirted with the New Yoik senator in developing the club's in fluence The feeling with lcgaid to it is that Republicanism should be appreciated in nil the states all the venr. A' .National Re publican Club fur Washington has long been a topic of diRciiss'on. fit might be a good thing and it icrtio'ily would be appropriate to have one in Philadelphia. "IFRIOI'S thing about those Meehaii boys, vJ one of whom went on the independent Republican ticket for recorder of deeds. It nppenrs there were two brothers, Thomas and Edward, each of whom hnd gone into the First Regiment nnd eueh of whom had worked nn to a post of lienor when, under Colonel Millard D. RnvMi, of Germun towu. the regiment moved to Frnnce. Each of these boys was married, each was wounded . each gassed and each came out as u lieutenant colonel. When the inde pendent leaders were looking around for a candidate it was a toss-up whether their choice would fall upon Colonel Tom or Colonel Ed. It happened It fell upon Colonel Tom with the entire approval of the family Colonel Ed is likely to be on the -tump for his brother. COLONEL ED D. SMITH, who has a stock of stories equal to the best on the road, ha? returned to Philadelphia nnd re sumed his political status in the Thirty ...,.ml ward. Colonel Ed was one of the boys who helped to fight for the union of the States Some years ago he was ono of the ponular comrades at the National Soldiers Home, at iiamnion homuh. in thnt shaded atmosphere, where the veterans delighted to swap their war yarns, Cap tain Ed had his biggest battle to get tho buildings screened to keep out the mosqui toes, and being a vigorous fighter he suc ceeded. When the nvlatlon race ut the Olympia tournament nt Camp Dix comes ofT next month Philadelphia City Hall will be tho turning point- II nns already been the turning point of many a political career. The public is more or less apathetic concerning the actors' strike; but if the strike ever reaches the movies well, "that will he something elso again." Pnrle Sam would sell blankets more rdlr M ths wether wert cold. . '' "''''' i. . . r V . -j . THE CHAFFING DISH IF THE theatrical mnuagers will take our advice, they wlH cave iu. The position of the actors is the strategic one. For actors i an go ahead mid act without a manager. But no manager inu produce a play without playcis. But peihaps our advice Is not wholly "dis interested. A play of our own was to have gone into icheaisal rocentlj, but tho btrikw came along and embalmed ever thing. "Very Delightful" Newton linker informed the Piesideul that the two soldiets he pardoned for sleep ing on outpost duty hud done unflinching service in the lighting last summer, that one of them had been killed iu action and the other twice wounded. Mr. Wllsoti wrote concerning "the two youngsters" (as he is pleased to call them) :."It is very delightful to know that they ledeemed themselves so thoroughly." Wc don't wish to be harsh, but it seems to us that Abraham Lincoln would have found some more marrowy phrase 'than "very delightful" the same words Woodrow used In inviting the senators to tiffin. We are frequently told that Mr. Wil-ou hns a marvelous command of English. We demur. It is the marvelous English that has control of him. "Actress Marries Broker.'' sajs a New York headline. Thut is one ingenious way to geteven with the manageis. There arc very few producers who can fall back on a broker for suppoit The great number of people who are found dead in bathrooms perturbs us. Is there anything fatal to the human race in ablution V Perhaps there's some joker in the old saw ubout cleanliness being the thieshold of god liness? At a modest estimate, we huve ubout 100 poems stacked up iu fiout of us, sent in by our gracious and nice-natured clients. These range from the roaring ballades of Client Bellem to the dainty jocoscrias of An t. n.,.Ai.n llnol.- Were we not such a devotee of furious and unstinted toil, it ,1 L- ..1.....1.. m.ittne In tntre II fort- WOIUU UC H S1IU1..U - -- ---- night off and chafe up the Dish with these nourishing gruels. And in fact our clients are threatening a striko unless wc print more of their con tributions. They have already begun to picket our office with talking delegates. But we shall never compromise with violence. Wc have taken very sagacious measures. We have retained our friend. Fred W. Brei tingcr, as legnl counsel, and got him down to the office the other evening to look over our vaults. By his advice wo are printing the following, which he thinks the best of our present accumulation : Arguments In a Wardrobe fjTTTHAT dress shall I wear'" 1 some- VV times say. And my mother tells me my "blue and gray." "What 'blue and gray'? 1 have no gray dress!" "Very well, then, we will call it 'Bess'." So we have a name for' all my clothes, And when I sny "Green," my mother knows It's the oue she thinks is colored Blue, We've ugrtcd to call that "Emmy Lou." It sounds so funny, when I go 'way To visjt sometimes, to hear her say : "Better wear Maria and pack up Jane, And carry Susanna in ease of rain" ! So I know exactly what to take And it saves my making any mistake. For it's always safer to have a name When you hear alike but don't see tho same. BESSIE GRAnAM'S FRIEND. Add Ejaculation lliimsnitv nets what it'rmnU, It is per- Mvsrinc and stubborn, nnd prevails In. th "HIGHER-UPS" Jt!--:.i e.Jf S' hrrv' iirT N v SLL 'ws iff -Pr PWflll Mil?" ,. end. And the fact that it has never given much serious thought to the business of elongating the span of life seems to suggest well, draw jour own couclusion. On the other hand, consider the numerouH devices humanity has lnveuted for abbre viating the journey through the valley of tears. Motortrucks, grade crossings, all night poker and chop suey arc the first that come to mind. To Socrates In August Hay fever sets one wondering, O Death, about thy famous sting And one concludes that It might be A plciisiue to be stung by thee. HORACE HOOK. A City Notebook South street is the last foittcss ot the watermelon and the witch-doctor. A stroll , oil that murmuring thoroughfare on a warm evening will eomiuce one thnt ruttlesnake oil is still the most merciful specific for humun nilings. Patent medicine manufac turers live to a great age this is one of Nature's compi usutiou.s. us their customers die young nnd their souls wonder happily along South street. Here is an extract from au ad we found pasted to the wiudow pauc of a South street apothecurj : This Is a prescription that we have pre pared especially for Malaria, Chills and Fever, Intermittent, Remittent and Bilious Fever. We especially recommend for those exposed to the weather as they can take It, eat anything they "want, nnd go right on with their work with no fear of being- SallNated. . , Scene: South Broad street, the western pavement. A balmy summer evening, 10.15 p. m. A gentlu cooling breeic pufiiug up the line, (lapping the trousers of gobs es corting damsels home from the movies. In a big club window, u nst leather armchair drawn up toward the sill. The room behind it dimly lit, and nearly empty. In the chair sat n gentleman softly musing, while the breeze toyed tenderly with his whickers. We halted, entranced. It wns plain that the gentleman was girdled1 with contempla tion, bathed in "ubstract scrutiny. It was Mr. Cattcll, the city statistician, and we thought wc saw his lips move secretly to the refrain of that fine old hymn, "Where Is My Wandering Decimal Tonight?" The Hog Island Helen It is safe to assume that there will be no vote slackers in the Hog Island beauty con test. The original Venus, one recalls, was born of the sea ; and Helen of Troy wns hailed as "the face that launched n thousand ships." Sailor-men have ever been brisk judges of female charm, and the world looks to Hog Island to single out some damsel who will sadden the fifth decade of Maxine Elliott. Ladles, we who arc about to lan guish, salute you ! "(The Better 'Olc," running in XeW York, has been closed by the actors' strike. The" embittered producer uttered a yell to tho de parting actors. Some say he said, "If you know a better role, go to It!" Others aver ho said, "If you know a better olio, ro to it!" Judge Bonniwell is going to talk on the Power of the Press tomorrow night. The press, more generous, will refrain from re turning thc.compliment. It seems heartless of Merico to keep on trifling with the affections of a trusting neighbor. When Hamlet addressed his sharp words to the players they would have been en. L tlrcly justified lu at once insisting on an Equity Association contract. .Most offensive to them must have been his reference to "Inexplicable dumb-shows," which can have meant nothing else but the movies. SOCRATES. And once again the fact is brought home to us tjiat Senator Borah's name is one syllabic too long to b really descrip tive. The llo.-n play was !M reaUy bone. ' IMMANENCE I COME in the little things, s Saith the Lord : Not borne on morning wings Of innjesty; but I have set my feet Amidst the delicate and bladed wheat That springs triumphant in tjie furrowed ..sod. There do 1 dwell, in weakness and in power; Not broken or divided, said our God! In' your straight garden plot I come to flower ; About your porch my vine. Meek, fruitful, doth entwine: Waits, at the threshold, Love's appointed hour. I come in the little thinge, Saiththe Lord; Yea, on the glancing wings Of eager birds, the soft and paiteritig feet Of furred and gentle beasts, I come to mee-t Your hard and wayward heart. In brown bright eyes That peer from out the brake, I stand m fest. On every nest Where feathery Patience is content to brood. And leaves her pleasuro for the high em prise Of motherhood There docs my Godhead test. I come in the little things, Saith the Lord ; My starry wings I do forsake. Love's highway of humility to take, Meekly T fit my stature to your need In beggar's part About your gates I shall not cease to pletd As man, to speak with man Till by such art I shall achieve my immemorial plan : Puss tho low lintel of the human hert. Evelyn Underhlll, in the London Nation, What Do You Know? i QUIZ How many states compose the republic of Mexico? What do the English call a ticket offlcs in a railroad station? What is the "Unrighteous Bible" snd why is it so called? What were the two largest cities in France taken by the Germans during the war? Who wrote "The School for Scandal?" Where was the late Oscar Hammerstein born? When is the next United States census to be taken? When was the federal constitution de clared to be in effect. I I Who were the patroons? What is spikenard? Answers to Yesterday' Qulr 1. The repeal of the daylight-saving law was passed three times by the House of Representatives. 'i. A preBtidigator is a magician. The word literally means quick fingerer. a. Theodore Roosevelt in a speech made in Springfield, 111., in 1003, started the phraso "a square deal" on Its career of popularity. 4. A polacre is a three-masted Mediterra nean merchant vessel. 5. Shantung is especially sacred to' the Chinese because their great philosopher and moralist Confucius was born in that peninsula. 0. Charlotte Amalie is the chief town of the Virgin Islands. 7. A cadi in Mohammedan countries is a civil ludge. " ' . 8. Dipsomania is a'morbid craving for al cohol. 0. Tho word buoy should be pronounced as . though spelled "bol." 19. Mercury was the classical messenger f the godSc , m M)I f .ii, a . J S.U
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers