W"WW ,,,', A' tis , ) -'V r (f PS - ' f ft ' ' ' , r 3TT... ..v . 1. . .1.. . w" '', '.::; tf. ; lubttetOgiJC LlOGai'dOMPANY BlUnfl ROa M. Kjtatl&TM,' PiMiocvt UMIInarton. vylce Prealdent t John C. arr anal Trtaaureri Philip H. Collins. joniy ji apurteon. Directors. S,',j!i.BDITORIAl4 BOA11D! lii .-ai VVtlB Wll-WCIUan PWlt .tgMtmT Editor 'JKMK'C. XAitTtN...Qtnertl Business Manager 1' JraeBaW dally at Pntifl T.apoan Building. '. ''iSfBPMxJene Square, Philadelphia. MM!! CTlil..... Broad and Chestnut Streets 2JH I W ClTI VMS-tnioa Building: HnHl.iH 200 .Metropolitan Tower i BBS. TjAffta . lwili i.-i.tl..n.. ii..nt MO, 1203 Tribune Uulldtne ra - -. news bureaus: i ' ' VUHMTItS BLHMtT. ., g. K. Cor. Pennsylvania Ave. and 14th St. Mwr Tmk Bcin The Sua Building; UraBcauv.i Marconi House. KtranH VlIM BtlVSitf . . . . . n Tits. T -..I. t. a-laa-.. J . s vivas au UVUlf 4t7 Ullli il-J- BUBSOIIPTION TERMS 7 The Bnxixa Pcblio Lidoi Is served to sub L SMttber In Philadelphia and surrounding- towns ,At the rate of twelve (12) cents per week, payable te toa carrier. "r .taw mall In TMtnta maM nf tffcM..,.,..!.,. iwUnlUd states. Canada or United states pos- JlT' .rep. nivy ioui cents per monin. Mm (fa) dollars per year, payable In advance. . Ta all fnmm miintri nn. Iltl HaII... w Hi:- . JSenca Subscribers wishing address chanced , MBst give old as veil as new address. v "JfeWmU, WO TTAIOTTT KYSTOyE. MAW IQM t ,'-'vCrtiUrs all communications to Evening TuMla p y" cagcr, swocpenacwee aquarc, ."luaqgtpnta. ., - ..i.-m ... .MiwvbuiaiA ruai ui.iva rwk -. fern. ..--,.. -.A-.. nn.n .. j- jy j StCO.ID OUII Mail. M1TTIB. .if Phll.J.lphU. Thur.il.-. Mireh :. 1918 a ' . COMPLETE THE FRANKFORD (. ELEVATED V XTO MATTEU hat other public nprlts Ll may be held up on account of the war i f there should be no delay In the comple tion ot the Frankford elevated II ru-. (f rnia trtenslon ol the rapid transit facili ties has become part ot the preparation fnr- Tvltintncf thA wnr. Ttn mirnnsn l in ar ":. .: ; ". :'.""' :::".... . . i-. miuie ii easier lor wontmen 10 travel dc ;. tWeen Frankford and their homes In other parts of the city and to Improve the means r Ct ..I .1 1 4-. .!. a -a P-CA the city north of Market street and the tg district around League Tsland. if, The l6w lino Is so near completion that Vii., It can be DUt into servlcn In tho ne.ir S future. To delay It would be Hko delayliiu at f nA IsAntlrillitlArl nr fnoild hntii Ann tliA wU swat ammunition dumps in Franco and 5 tho artillery at tho front. Communication C.T tlAt-OTAM n tViA Viaea nh.1 tVisra frnnf la vital n 4 . .-..,- ,. . .... .... . I)' nurecos in uuiuc. it. is equally Miai to if luccessrul preparation for victory at homo. Tills yrlll become evident to tho war ln- -1 J ., . .. .. .. .... . . . . vr ausiriea uouru u ic win givo nvo minutes lv fVlAfirtif tn 41.A mil. a. I'j It ecems that the British have bo run a COllnter-olTi'r.slVA In .v.rnl Tilnrnn. Tlitav lV tai1sn rsrli esaltnf rt Cnllli ""-" ' """J W VJ. M; THE GREAT MINDS PAUSE L OURELY all tho forces of political and tH & economic destiny will pause momen tarily and tremble and nil mi-win mn. P'y cerned with the moro poignant consldera k tlons of human aspiration will experience K a. -thrill of reassuranco at the news that r CSty Councils Common and Select aro (j ininKing oi cnangmg tneir august mlnda if. and of withdrawing from a prior deter- mlnatloa to express no concerted opinion V for or against woman suffrage. M This is agreeable news. It would bo pleasant If It might bo received with all ti 1 t -"- uu u-iiuuiiuna ui 1110 ceiier w y? wiwioui naunting- inougnt 01 tnosn .cuuEu.ics mwuru sen-interest mat some- I times may be observed In tho nprsnnnpl of the municipal government "We dislike 'C mention It, and yet it may bo Just pos- TZ' sible that Doctor Gleason wishes to permlr fti m colleagues an ODDortunltv to ritnn fnr the extraordinary exhibition of bad man- ners and worso taste provided In tho cnamoers recently, when a committee of zfb reDrese.itn.tlvn nmnAn -.'q -.aaIcai ..i,i. $'t the sort of courtesy that they might havo Kfi, expected at a prlzo fight- 11" . jt' A U-rusuayan commission, en route to iy -sie-wre, -nas Kiunappca by a U-boat, and I'ff U-nanlmousIy protests. If' , JUSTICE TO THE MAIL MAN TARDY justice and tardy wisdom aio linked in thn hill nlilrh Vina ..f ,....,.! V -" - -" f""" I uio x-uubo iu proviae tietier salaries for B.M the employes In all divisions of the postal w, eryice. An increase ranging generally ITlv from 10 to 20 per cent is contemplated f A and will soon be In effect. Increases granted to mechanics, labor- , -wo, .tMinajr H,.i mm woriters oi an sorts ti la, private enterprises havo left tho men '3 of the Government service nt a great dls- K aayantage. The remedy for the existing i c 'u"lons "noma do applied in the mints ar mna n me custom houses and generally - . throuirhout all thn hrnnr-lioa nt tin. i.u. ??I ami cjkn.n.a iPnt. la nA, Mn....i.. v .ww. n..,,a ta liuv AUVlViy U HieuHUrO :j:j of economic Justice under present condl- yra, tlons. Better wages for Government em- J ployes are absolutely essenUal If the mall A system and other divisions of the public 'j .service of the greatest importance to the ; .industrial life of tho country aro not to ?- be weakened in comnctltlon with nrii.oi- fj ... 4-...-.VW J Industries. : V r M WhV Is It thfll VnilnP -jrnmAn rAln.HnJ I 'S1' l ..lU IM -. ... ,-.w- imwis -nia re Always Baia to do . eemely"? i " " f CLERGYMEN CANNOT STRIKE l . ll -Tir.T.U'l wn-IrM.n' nA.A..J l .. vvV :--' ,. w. ,.;, vutuiuiiicu oy mo ,v.' increasea cost or Jiving, demand bet- f1p 3-y; 'n'1 they do not get it they ' 'jmriKe. w ,' " The.Iaymcn's committee on salaries for R, the, clergy in the Massachusetts diocese p; , fjf,e..piscopal qhurcli has prepared a jssfxt tor Buumisslon to the approaching -sMan convention, in which it remimis j-tsreeiiurches that the clergymen, con- ItOfrte? 6y the increase in the cost of sWwotlnnot secure better pay by threat- 0CMf;to tftrow up their Jobs, even though the,' Hr' they now receive la lower in many ,man mat enjoyed by skilled me- i la no more heroin crrniin In Am-. J6 thn the body of educated and trained tmm oocujiyinK me puipus ot the churches IM sreiiomlnatibn and spending them- I51ifl55 uaSK SA 'laad ttu'nnnnU 4n n Ul.t..-. " , Wie ""tbey themselves are re- s-aienv, suuucij 10 weep ppay ana nsjr.ane cajinoi puy me hooks u.0ey cRiwibt educale their The . Masiachuset'Ji commit ton pertinent, words to say on the S'J ,- M'raa'SI w wvtwersti ,wim. ine , peuy t user' sjsu- SWT--H uaesr A PARADISE FOR TRAITORS rpiIE Department of Justice is ono of tho , divisions of tho Federal Government which appears not to have benefited in tho least by nny systematic effort nt n special war efficiency. It is hampered in nil parts of tho country, of course, by grievous inheritances from the slack days of pcaco nnd patronage. Recurrent bleak travesties of Federal procedure against traitors, scditionlsts and spies might bo cxplninablo in part nt least upon this ground. Yet the fu tility of tho Department of Justice in many recent instances is made more dead ly by an odious perversion of sentiment which, persisting in tho Swivel Chair Di vision of tho War Department or in some other equally potent sanctuary nt Wash ington, still insists upon being gcntlo rather than bravo in dealing with the most dangerous enemies of the country. Abominnble outrages against Amer ica and American sentiment grow moro frequent even in these hours of tragedy and sacrifice. Traitors nnd seditlonists arc permitted to fling insult nnd derision in the very face of all tho nation. And somewhere in Washington the rulo is being preserved that you must depend chiefly upon sweetness and light in deal ing with paranoiacs and perverts, whoso malignant idiocy would compel them to lay bomb plots in heaven. In the Public Ledger yesterday former Ambassador Gerard put the situation in a vivid sentence when he said we in this country are in a state of siege. We are in a stalo of siege. Yet in Chicago thero was n street parade to celebrate tho German drive. A good-sized crowd sang the national hymn of Xaiscrdom. Also in Chisago a soldier in the uniform of the American sen-ice was hissed nt a public meeting. Millions of bushels of wheat have been destroyed by incendiary fires. A feW months ago a German agent, known to be ono o the most dangerous in tho service of his country, was caught in the act of transmitting information to tho German War Office. He was arrested, ticated with tho utmost courtesy and sent to the Atlanta Peni tentiary to be the comfortable guest of the country for two years. A little while later one of the captains of the National Army was sentenced to twenty five years in a military prison after ho had expressed what were nt least frank and honest objections to shooting at his own relatives on tho other side. In this latter instance the sentimentality that replaces good judgment in some oJ the obscure branches of tho Government wreaked itself fully. The slackness and the scandalous in efficiency of the Federal authority in deal ing with dangerous enemies have had defi nite results. Demonstrations of enmity and disloyalty multiplied in many parts of the country at the moment when tho German drive seemed most perilous to the Allied lines. It is tho habit of some Administration officials occasionally to lament the indis position of a considerable part of the country to realizo that we are at war. Does all of Washington officialdom real ize 'ully that we are at war, or do those who direct the Department of Justice and some of the War Department bureaus still suppose that pussy-footing and par lor manners belong to the school of ad vanced militarism? In every other bel ligerent country traitors and spies aro shot or hanged. In America we still coddle them. Senator James, of Kentucky, and Con gressman Kahn, of California, have re cently demanded that tho lope be used upon the more dangerous enemy aliens. Spies, traitors and scditionists should bo executed, and no secret made of the fate allotted them. Until this shall be done, a good pait of tho country must continue to believe that from the viewpoint of offi cials who havo full power to suppress treason the lives of pro-German para noiacs are more precious than the lives of the American soldiers at the front or on their way there. Sir Douglas Halg cannot be very much worried ns to tho final outcome of tho pres ent crisis, or he could hardly have found tlmo to send a flfty-slx-word reply to Presi dent 'Wilson's message of encouragement, SEND THEM "FAGS' AMONG tho minor Viartlmo duties of the . trousered population there Is nothing that ought to bo moro constantly remem bered than tho duty of keeping our men In Franco well supplied with tobacco. Let ters from the other sido lay constant stress on the consoling virtues of tho weed In the trenches. Tho Virginian herb has con tributed many gentle and philosophic in fluences to human life, and Is by no means the roaring devil of sin some of the pan hellenlsts havo painted It. I3ut never in its long history, since Sir Walter Italelgh's man turned tho hoso on hlj master, has tobacco had so high a mission as its pres ent task in soothing tho nerves of tho men who are facing death en tho field of honor And the ,smoko of the soldiers Is the humble "fag." The cigar is too expensive; there ia no time for tho plpo. A cigarette can be bmoked In a few whiffs and car ries ltd little blue fume of relaxation where It Is most urgently needed. Will you not remember that, each tlmo jou buy tobacco for yourself? Buy a carton of cigarettes once a week for your own man Over there and send it to him. The German troops In the present drive" are said to have received two days' "Iron ration" when they were sent over the top. Hut Halg has now given them vlttles of steel (both cold and hot) for a week. THE P. p. T.'S SCHOOL OF MANNERS DIGNITY i of manner is not a quality easily acquired. Schools often teach it and teach in vain. Dignity may be in herited, and then, like money similarly ob tained, It must bo lived up to, and it be comes in the course of time a. curse of sorts. i-inlly that Isn't dignified volla! That la the Ideal quality) It is flexible and easy", wd U makes everybody comfortable, 4 a rule the dignified and; the undignified alike. We ebould, be dlsalSeel ,ln Philadelphia ! the trolley asi-aiip'iai tve. ideally A aWC'jnsMUM O EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER any court in Europe. Llfo on tho trolleys In the rush hours, w-non tho green motormen punish the machinery, becomes merely a long series of oows and apolo gies and pollto supplications for pardon: an cniKess courso ' of training In voice modulation nnd temper, In posing nnd in tho high arts! of dissembling embar-ass-ments, woe, anger and tho slgi s of physi cal suffering. Tho green motormen are doing us nn unexpected service Tho V. It. T. may wako up one of th;so days and charge extra for I(. Como on, now; be frank; haven't YOU got some plans for a hundred-mile gun con cealed somewhero In tho old trunk In tho attic? Almost ocry one elso seems to. SPRING AND THE WAR BUSINESS WHEN tho various and sundry birds of spring drop out of tho bluo to sing a concerted obbllgato to reveille: when thrushes or whatever others of tho Bpeclcs happen to bo tho premier daylight savers of their kind beat even tho mess sergeant Into tho yellow sunlight of days misted all over with gold at each end, then llfo In a training camp must seem to Involve) tho peculiar fortunes of tho blessed. Who, In days like these, -vould choose a flat-wheeled trolley astray In a disor ganized schedule to a pair of army shoes and miles of fragrant road whero there Is neither job nor tlmo clock Iceman nor baker, landlord nor boss to confuso tho serenity of his view? Tho little old birds, so called by thoso who know them best, summon tho soldier up beforo tho trum pets. They sing to him on his hikes and they sway and shut their ejes and grow dizzy In their own ccstacy of sound In dulcet Intimations of tho wonders being prepared for his eyes. So, nt least, wo aro led to bellovo by letters from Pit and Meade. And thero Is nothing to do but eat, listen, wall: nnd grow strong. How many aro there, theso mornings, who look up from dusty desks nnd wish a big-Jaw cd general would como along and whip tlcm away Into tho nrm? Tho nickcns Fellowship met last nlcht at tho Adelphla Hotel. Applaudcrs of the fitness of things rejoiced to i-eo tho namo ot Jlrs. Josephine Coppcrlleld on tho program. And et people say that Charles didn't take his names from teal life. Inconstant Constantino, the former mon arch of Greece, has been denied his pension of 000,000 drachmas by the Athens Parlia ment. Con will havo to draw his pay cn- elope In marks Instead of drachmas hence forth. What an ordnance department wo would havo If the Inventors would only leavo It alone and glo It tlmo to do somo work! THE CHAFFING DISH Dove Dulcet, Philadelphia's own BUbcaltber poet, sends In a free erso poem In what ho calls calorimeter. Ho calls It: EATING BY CALOIUES Fate cannot harm me, I havo Dined today (AVheatless dav) On Mock Mutton (254 calorics), lentil Soup (360 calories) And lee water (100 negative calories), Making a total of 511 calories. Add it up and seo for jourself. All the best restaurants tell you how many Calories ou cat nowadays; It Takes your mind off the food. DOVE DULCET. Will tho gentleman who signs himself S, V. kindly call at our office? Since his article, entitled "Sitting in the Barber's Chair," appeared on this page last Monday thirteen malo voices havo called on tho tele phone asking the namo and address of S. V.'s barber "who does not prattle." And ono gentleman, moro sinned against than cynical, left the following with us: CONFESSIONS NO ONI! BELIEVES THE BARBEU I am a barber: that Is. ono who shave, champoos and cuts your hair In silence. I am reticent and hao no opinions on tho weather and tho suburban train herv lee I hao my own brands of scalpofoam and nostril powder, but I nccr press them upon my clients. It Is beneath my dig nity to accept gratuities. The latest maga zines are alwajs waiting for ou In my Miop. You can get a hair cut with mo In ten minutes. When I gle you a "hot towel" your skin will not bo scalded for a week afterward. My towels aro all steri lized nnd my operators are all native-born citizens. All my .manicure girls aro young, slender, witty, sympathetic and Presby terians. I never say to my clients "Your hair Is coming out rather fast." You need never wait for a chair in my shop. Very few of tho leading politicians are shaved here ; only tho respectable middle-class citizens. I rarely Inflict permanent Injury on a customer who trusts me. I do not put Geisha cream on your hair. I expect to go to heaven when I die. OSCAR CHINSCRAPE. We havo received a telegram asking whether the dialling Dish accepts contribu tions, Cigars and silk hosiery (slzo 10&). If for warded to this office marked "Socrates will reach tho proper destination, unless they aro handed to tho elevator boy. This seems to bo poetry day. Henry Plantagenet (fine old family, the Plantage nets) sends us this, which can only mean that the gardening season has begun ; unless It's a poem that Henry wroto last year and wasn't ablo to sell: MY FAVORITE FLOWERS The yellow orchid why discuss. When ou can eat asparagus! What stained-glass window could repeat The red-veined leafage of the beet? What delicately mottled green Is In the humble, honest bean, And what a balm for sin and grief Tho crisp and curly lettuce leaf I The corn. In green, translucent files. Shimmers like cathedral aisles: The cabbage that the frost has touched Is like a pigeon's throat unsmutched. An onion. If you hold your nose, Is marvelous as any rose I HENRY PLANTAGENET. Dr. William C. Farrabee, a South Ameri can explorer, spoke the other evening of a snake he Had met. He cut Its head off with a machete and It ran a hundred feet before It realized that It was dead. The rattlesnake of Prussian militarism may be In this case. It cut Its own head off when It raped Bel gium, but the deuce of it Is, the serpent is still rattling. SOCRATES. The Hydraulic Muse There b two cars In like this building, doss, so please don't crowd! fifteen per eons I all by law allowed; and 'deed It don't seem fair to me to work thls.cooq to death; tho fojks keeps shoving in on me, J hardly cap draw breath ; this car la full from 'worn to tt-fbt wW this, the lucky ft .joatlift. teat. ( st i. - PHILADELPHIA, THURSDAY, MAftCH 28, WAR AND FRIENDSHIP A Little Stpry o a Soldier's Billet Tho latest tssv-e of The Stars and Stripes, tho official publication of tho American expeditionary forces in France, has Just reached this counlrv- It eon tains tho follou tup veru appealing Jiff' sketch hj rirst Lieutenant Charles P. Pushing, United States marine corpj re serves: IT WASN'T my fault I had nothing to do with the billeting arrangements but every living creature In the old house, and every thing Inanimate, scorned to cry out that first day against my Intrusion. The rusty hinges of tho gate protested tOirllly beforo I could set foot In tho yard. Tho billeting sign, done In stencil on a plcco of new packing board, seemed to bo a desecration of tho charm of tho gray plono wall. Madame R met ino at tho door and failed to accept my prof fered handshake. (How could I know, then, tho r.-ason for her seeming coldness?) Gray headed Monsieur, bent oxer his cano and shunting along In wooden shoes, wearily led the way upstairs. Onco In my room, the little knlcknacks on tho mantelpiece, tho prayer chair nnd the rosary bcsldo tho bed nnd tho shelf full of well-worn books, sfnoto my conscience again. Thoso books, In particular. I took ono down "Montaigne I" Tho man who had lived In this room and whoso personality had colored It, the man who had gone out from hero to die, perhaps, for la Patrle, had loved "Mon taigne!" I am not ashamed to ray It; as I closed tho book and stealthily replaced It on the Elicit tho tears stood In my ejes. HOW was I to know, then, that the Man of That Room was still allvo and gal lantly fighting for IiIh country? How was I to know, then, that Madame B did not tako my hand because, through Illness, her sight was nearly gone? Next morning Madame and Monsieur In Ited me to their Ilttlo cellar-like living room downstairs. It had a tiny stove, two chairs, a table coeicd with oilcloth. An aged terrier, addressed as Moose, hopped up to the shelf on tho front of the stove, hug ging tho fire. All teemed so old, so wintry, so pitiful! Little by little we grew better acquainted. I gao Monsieur a packago of American pipe tobacco. That did much to break down bar riers. I told him It c.imo from Virginia, and he looked up tho State In a tlnv t-i-liool geog raphy which treated of tho whole of North America In a nne-pago colored map. with three-quarters of n pago of text opposite. Madamo followed mo to the door that morning and whispered: "He has not had tobacco to smoke these to months. Monsieur. Ahl Ho will now bo blen content." And, truly, ho was. It warmed one's heart to Bee him Bit by the fire and puff at his old -I uiacK unar plpo. SOON I heard nbout Madamo's Illness, and had ono of our nay medicos pay her a professional -lslt. It was wonderful to eeo how she began nt once to pluck up hope and spirits. Tho doctor's cheerful manners (bluff old mariner) did as much ns his medicine to effect the transformation. Within a week she declared her sight was clearer. Doubtless It was, too, for her ailment was one which quickly affects the ees. My morning calls became an Institution. I was shown through tho other rooms of tho house, closed since tho war tho "company" kitchen, with copper pots and pans of every sliapo and size shining on tho walls; tho parlor, with a grand piano which had been muto Blnco tho first days of tho war. I learned, then, about tho daughter In Tarls "you should hear her elng. Monsieur, nnd jou would saynn all do, ravlssant!" And, lastly, In a moro hushed tone. Madamo told mo of tho flon away at the front: how hard he had worked and how he had climbed, grade by grade, from tho ranks to a lieu tenant's commission. GRADUALLY tho placo seemed to grow moro friendly toward me. Aged Mooso f-howed ho could be taught new tricks; at least, ho learned to bark a friendly greeting every morning when 1 came downstairs for a pitcher of hot water. Tho fragranco of Monsieur's pipe bade mo dally welcome, too. Madame could smllo now she could hee so much moro clearly, thanks to tho good Tea doctor from America. One day she was even persuaded to put on her Sunday black bilks nnd fare forth to hear our Marino Band play In tho village square. "You must not think mo overcrltlcal," she reported later, "but your sea-soldiers should practice harder on tho 'Marseillaise.' Thev already do really well with 'Madeline.' And they are really wonderful when they go at thoso happy American pieces." We pledged tho Entento that evening In a bottle of twenty-year-old port from tho cob webby cellar; sipping slowly, and talking the whllo of the happy days to come, with peaco In the world again and all the church bells clanging jojously. WIEN the hour arrhed that I must shoulder my pack and bid good-by to my billet I took down "Montaigne" again. This time the good old book was llko my good aged hosts and venerable Moose and the rare old wine. I chanced on a passage of philosophy about wars I closed the book reverently after a whllo and put it back, blen content. Madame and Monsieur followed me to the gate, wrung my hand nnd wished me the best of luck. Mooso barked excitedly. "We bliall not forgot you. Monsieur Charles. We have learned to Iovo you. Long live America." Neither shall I forget you, good old friends, nor bo ashamed of the love I bear ou j-ou and j-our friendly land that tries bo braely to bo gay. "Vive la France!" I blurted It out. choking. They understood and tried to smile. The old gato creaked as It closed after mo this time not bo shrlllj-. Fiction on tho Disk THE "bedtime stories" by a certain popu lar author have been put on phonograph records for the enjoyment of children and the relief of parents who have no genius for tale-telling. 7"hls suggests a regret that the marvels of voice reproduction have not been generally applied to tho great romancers of the language. What fun It would have been, on a winter night, to turn on the disk record ing ono of the most thrilling chapters of "The Principles of Political Economy," told In the vibrant squeak of John Stuart Mill. Or. drifting In a canoe, on an August-drowsy afternoon, how Jolly to dream away the hours listening to some pellucid little tale In the Btart-and-stop accents of Henry James. But seriously, let us hope that this new Idea will be widely taken up by the voice reproducing companies. Think what It would have meant to us to have Stevensofi's stories or Riley's poems preserved In the very tones of the authors. Think. Joo, of the fat record royalties for writers that lurk In the scheme. If we were a. phonograph mogul we would move heaven and earth to get the Jungle Book stories recorded In Mr. Kipling's own voice: and perhaps also Mr. Chesterton's rumbling bass in some ot his deathless limericks, such as There was a young girl of Lahore, The same 'shape behind as before: And aa'no one knew where Ton offer a chair, , She Tiad to sit down on the floor. -The German armies Or.HUMinareir, .have been kept bo ' .. 'i a.bu83. f0, a weeI h they are living according. to a'rule of sleep less nights. ., , Dr. Harvey W. Wiley, Io the CaragsT former chief chemist In the Department of Agriculture, augg eata,that every family nx a pet P's" aa a food-conservation measure. But where would the' pir be kept when it wasn't a-ntr entertained In he parlor? r . . t s usnrwsuisj siaim I n.a.-t ... i "StT w.ri-w .--. 7B7T T! " .7" """". I ajafff" " - ." "' """""a il;-" .- t"T r"' a I fjJULt-Af--- S.i!,fJSJF m T wmmm 1 HsEEar "" " "" """' aaJJr" I ""fa aa mm asiwsiisiia ferv; f.i.Vi "i. c. .;'' ' ,:" v , am Jb - & V ' vl 1 163 INNQCENT OLD MEN By CHRISTOPHER MORLEY I FOUND Tltanla looking Becrcly at her watch, which Is :y queer Ilttlo gold disk about tho slza of a waistcoat button, swinging under her chin by a thin golden chain. Tlta nla's methods of winding, setting and regu lating that watch have always been a mys tery to me. She frequently knows what tho right time Is, but how she deduces It from tho data given by the hands of her time piece I can't guess. It's something llko this: Sho looks nt the watch and notes what It saj-s. Then she deducts ten minutes, becauso she remembers It Is ten minutes fast. Then sho performs somo complicated calculation connected with when the baby had his bath, and how long ago Bho heard tho church bells chime; to this result Bho adds flvo minutes to allow for leeway. Then she goes to tho phone and asks Central the tlmo. ,,TjULLO." I said; "what's wrong?" JHL "I'm wondering about this daj light saving business," she Bald. "You know, I think It's all a piece ot pro-German propa ganda to get us confused and divert us from our military program. All tho women In Marathon art talking about It and neglecting their knitting. Junior's bath was half an hour lato today because Mrs. Benvenuto called me up to talk about daylight saving. She says her cook has threatened to leae If she has to get up an hour earlier In the morning. I was Just wondering how to ad just my watch to the new conditions. "It's perfectly simple," I said. "Put your watch ahead one hour, and then go through the same logarithms you always do." "Put It ahead?" asked Tltanla. "Mrs. Bor gia says we hae to put the clock each an hour. She Is fearfully worried about It. She savs suppose she has something in the oen when the clock Is put back, It will be nn hour overdone and burned to a crisp when the kitchen clock catches up again." "Mrs. Borgia Is wrong," I raid. "The clocks aro to be put ahead one hour. At 2 o'clock on Easter morning they are to be turned on to 3 o'clock. Mrs. Borgia certainly won't have anything In the oven at that tlmo of night You see, wo are to pretend that 2 o'clock Is really 3 o'clock, and wlien we get un at 7 o'clock It will really bo 6 o'clock. We are deliberately fooling ourselves In order to get an hour more of daylight." "I have an Idea," Bhe Bald, "that you won't tret up at 7 that morning." "It Is quite possible," I, said, "because I intend to stay up until 2 a, m. that morning in order to bo exactly correct In changing our timepieces. No ono shall accuse me of being a time slacker." TITANIA was wrinkling her brow. "But how about that lost hour?" she said. "What happens to It? I don't see how we can Just throw an hour away like that- Time toes on Just tho same. How can we afford to shorten our lives bo ruthlessly? It's mur der that's what It 1st I told you it was. a German plot. Just think; there are a hun dred million Americans. Moving on the clock that way brings each of us ono hour nearer our graves. That Is to say, we are throwing away 100,000,000 hours." She seized a pencil and a sheet of paper and went through some calculations. "There are S760 hours In a year," she said. "Reckoning seventy yeara a lifetime, there are 613.200 hours in each person's life. Now, will you please divide that Into a hundred million for me? I'm not good at long dl- TWlth docility I did bo, and reported the rAbout 163," I said. There you are I" she exclaimed trium phantly. "Throwing away all that perfectly i-ood time amounts simply to murdering 163 harmless old men of seventy, or 326 able bodied men of thirty-five, or 1CS0 Innocent little children of seven. If that Isn't atrocity, what Is? I think Mr. Hoover, or Mr. McAdoo or somebody ought to be. prosecuted." X was aghast at this awful result. Then on idea struck me, and I took the pencil and began to figure on my1 own account. "Look here. Tltanla," I said. "Not so fast. Moving the clock ahead doesn't really brlnr those people any nearer their graves. What ii? oea do la bring the end of ,thewar sooner. .vieaa la a Una thing. By,dkH!n a hundred HtHHeti hours we bring, the ,- of "the, -war CKwer, i'ns Tsary 1918 THE BULLDOG said with sarcasm, "the war must havo ended about 11,000 years ago." asTITY DEAR Tltanla," I said, "- of the Government may 'the ways seem In scrutable, but we havo got to follow them with faith. If Mr; McAdoo tells us to mur der 163 lino old men in elastic-sided boots wo must simply do It, that's all. War Is a dreadful thing. ' We havo got to meet the (lermans on their own ground. They adopted wis daylight-saving measure years ago. They can at Sonnenuntergangverderbenpraxls, I ,ne;Lee- Uter "" lt ls onIy a temporary ?.su.rc' 1,eeauso In tho fall, when the day tifm A'Urs, s,ot 8hor,er' we shall have to turn the clocks back n couple of hours In ?tJh7J comPnste the gas and electric light companies for all the money they will tlemU0.1 I.?"' Vn brlr"r thoso 1C3 olJ tw inlr ,A,t0 '.fe aealn ana ,loubI ther remain ,r,r ?f yfars t0 mako un for 'hc'r torn tsIy.,?fff?,5t Thcy are Patriotic hos ,,t? TITe for the summer only. You must remember that tlmo Is only a phllo- oxia,tPnaiab3tI;actlo,,, wllh no real r "IMe existence, and we have a right to do what ever we want with It." "I will remind you of that." she said, "at gett ng-up time on Sunday, morning. I still link that If we aro going to monkey wh he clocks at all it would be better to turn them backward Instead of forward. Cer- cmb'a !,ht,lVeariu1r''r,ne 5'U hme tnm th8 hand Am.'t1 wd" "We flrVn Mr- McAdoo's hands. A little later we ma? be put on time rations. Just as we are on food rations. We may havo time cards to encourage thrift in saving time. Every time we save an hour wh.UI B..a "a"'8 B,amp t0 show "o" "t! When we fill out a whole card we will he entitled to call ourselves a month younger than we are. Tell that to Mrs. Borgia? It will reconcile her." b' " A LUSTY uproar made Itself heard up atalrs , and Tltanla gave a little Bcream. "Heavens!" she cried. "irr t ..,T..1 with you and Junior's bottle Is half an hour late. I don't care what Mr. McAdoo does to the clocks: he won't bo able to fnni Junior. Ho knows when It's time for meals Won't you call up Central and , M,,T. .... r . . "- , 1I1C-1B, up Central and find out the exact time?" ,,. ... Ultimately the Kaiser There Will Be Crow can cat his words, but ,. ., . . that sort of diet will Jhifuns VCry Ba0sfylnB t0 " starving I The Feminine Language To.the Editor of the Evening Pubilo Ledger; nr81 '" read wlth n,uch raln Andrew McGllls "Grammar of ths Feminine Lan guage." Will you be kind enough to naaa on to Mr. McGlll the subjoined protest? Dear Andrew McGlll Of course, you are a man and have never ,as a young lady been summoned down to the front parlor at 8:16 to take charge of entertaining one of your learned sex for the evening. Other wise you would not have had such a ner fectly beautiful time describing the gram mar of the feminine language In Tuesday's EVEKINQ PU8M0 LEDOEn. It would be Interesting to flay your whole "durn" grammar, but I am golntr i to content myself with the pronoun. "The ' pronoun Is I." you say. I read and Immt. dlate y I was reminded of the above- ' mentionea nour or :ib. I wish you could have been behind the sofa in those days Andrew McGlll. It was awful until I dis covered something. You can make a man talk if you let him talk about himself. The pronoun I belonging to women! Mr, An drew McGlll, In the language of the poets you don't know what you're talking about' I'll concede a good bit of your grammar 'But I can't swallow that. I never met a man In my life who didn't perk up and stay an hour longer If yqu gave, him half a chance to get a stranglehold on that pronoun L I've done my bit In listening and I want jou to know about Jt. These, are, of course, the golden days, when all for fifteen cents Mary Plckford wU while away the evening and Jack up the gentle art ot conservation. But, any way, Mr. McQlll, some day when you're going on a long trip. and have nothing to .do, Just listen to the younganan In the seat la .front of ysu' talking to hla arfrL Then 7wswasnimsH frt yepf jt Bri . lGWW y.,, h 1-v ra '!i . DEBUSSY, TONE MASTER ALTHOUGH his life span mtuurMjf -t -v. fifty-six j ears, Claude Achllle Dewusjr, whose death has been reported from VuMak, lived long enough to see his musical rsdl-J callsm almost legitimatized. In this he caped the fate of so many artistic pioneers.; Blazing the way, however, involves niasi difficulties. Debussy hurled his delicate, psfS fumed lance at the whole structure of modsn music fashioned on the principles of Waiatr and Beethoven. Grandeur was the P"sa quality of their art. Subtlety was Drtustjx! In developing his concepts he even soufhitol overthrow tho whole prevailing system harmony and reverted to the antique Orsj ... ... . ...-,a- gorian scale, jus meai was lone raiiwr uu-". 'tune, and his refined Intangible melodHs-l 1,iv. nntlv loan culled "sound wralthj." oil 'J muslo purely cerebral rather than emotlettiC, uccasionauj' ne maue concesaiuna, aa m r"-g highly effective cantata "The Prodigal BM.W with which. In 1884. he won the covttMg "Prix de Rome.,' But In the main hls.aMWgl ............. ... 1.1 ,... 1n.. ft. Ma l SUDJCCllMiy 1CU IUI11 Hliu Winn ..v. "Pollens rt Mellsande" ls the most preteB tlous exemplar of his methods. Orlflnalt'? mntninHi as crvDtlc and monotonous. WMia music play, based directly on Maeterundrs mystical drama, eventually took rank as aj masterpiece of exquisitely Deaumui ww painting. The work puzzled New Yorlt-JM 1908, and Philadelphia still more wnen v Tin..v.Aiatin firnt cava lt here the folk)) year. Subsequent performances clarified J -l nnt 4Y.A Atrinnnltlnn found ltS V IIlBUIlllIK '- '-' -wt"'- Vfi Into the world's great opera houses. Jfri His purely Instrumental writings prow less baffling and some of them, notably t0 prelude to "The Alternoon oi a r-"Sir . a. ..a,.Atlnl MUM now ratea as aimosi ojitmi - ... .4.. v-annh mnslrt nnd much Oat world's has been Influenced by "Dl;a'S musical palate. D'lndy ana navei in . .1... .,,, itav nnriifliM.. but none tnt adopted, his colorlne. Puccini "P'gljy The Girl oi ine uoiiuu "cou ""' -j it,. Mn(1.rr. Tt.lflA.AnS h&V6 XOllOWM I anU W.O IaV"-s -- riaa.slssJ No composer has quite gone to Debvw extremes, but the effect of his art s j..- Mntiv visum. It was unt . T,"' ..n;..'.n.n Iv. of "the fine .pW V,0,mu., .v....--...-- , J.ino- fnr civilization. II. T.-a (line. . - - f n Field Marshal .i i-. sneaking In his "' . sage to President 1 Bon for the. men who are willing Jo- with their lives to now mo ..--w"" "' .. .i... in unt the cost. might be written large 'as a ??: ftn who are now asked to subscribe to new Liberty .Loan. What Do You Know? - QUIZ A ..a a sit a- aajaaaara1 aaf sSflN-l 1. Who Is tlje nnina "" "" ,,i S. WherC. Aton.,BM what l It" lat-! 4. & ..7-u; to I!. .' ' " an 1 mh RneshBAT 5:X..Vm7rrV was .... 'Barniiarners-i jtsh 7. What to meant br "- ritty'J V JL- .- - at.- i.mmI aava IB IB WenST J i' What ls the Koh-t-Neart . & ,; waleh Uit to eallrf tt- Mtoer.T J Answer to Yesterday'. QulH 1 Tb FMllPnlnes were namea Philip II of Spain, . . ,. Tbrw.P, rlsar I. lighrtJZrJHJ "'."-. .TnTsnTnl. hriaeia..A ilip..;..e4,h.J .!! 1fnll1fls.dsIVa . a..' m'JtM jff uWu'VsTiaf SSeratalia aitr IUa. ,. a, "Wit. . asrfeSifi. tL aLT"? nalana wrra is""!JS ..-.. "--,',,, aval kle t '-"FMtizt; !mTJmW9tmW V"fM.' iKttUaL. vtfa& M j' Wmwiu v Jn. 'aha ' ,. t ' ') "" y i-i.8 s-W'--MssnSjsaasjsjsjsjajsjsjsjsaisasjtsjj II I I II 1 1 ,SiMftltttttMiBlffWiW
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers