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LlOGai'dOMPANY
BlUnfl
ROa M. Kjtatl&TM,' PiMiocvt
UMIInarton. vylce Prealdent t John C.
arr anal Trtaaureri Philip H. Collins.
joniy ji apurteon. Directors.
S,',j!i.BDITORIAl4 BOA11D!
lii .-ai VVtlB Wll-WCIUan
PWlt .tgMtmT Editor
'JKMK'C. XAitTtN...Qtnertl Business Manager
1' JraeBaW dally at Pntifl T.apoan Building.
'. ''iSfBPMxJene Square, Philadelphia.
MM!! CTlil..... Broad and Chestnut Streets
2JH I W ClTI VMS-tnioa Building:
HnHl.iH 200 .Metropolitan Tower
i BBS. TjAffta . lwili i.-i.tl..n.. ii..nt
MO, 1203 Tribune Uulldtne
ra - -. news bureaus:
i ' ' VUHMTItS BLHMtT.
., g. K. Cor. Pennsylvania Ave. and 14th St.
Mwr Tmk Bcin The Sua Building;
UraBcauv.i Marconi House. KtranH
VlIM BtlVSitf . . . . . n Tits. T -..I. t. a-laa-.. J
. s vivas au UVUlf 4t7 Ullli
il-J- BUBSOIIPTION TERMS
7 The Bnxixa Pcblio Lidoi Is served to sub
L SMttber In Philadelphia and surrounding- towns
,At the rate of twelve (12) cents per week, payable
te toa carrier.
"r .taw mall In TMtnta maM nf tffcM..,.,..!.,.
iwUnlUd states. Canada or United states pos-
JlT' .rep. nivy ioui cents per monin.
Mm (fa) dollars per year, payable In advance.
. Ta all fnmm miintri nn. Iltl HaII... w
Hi:-
. JSenca Subscribers wishing address chanced
, MBst give old as veil as new address.
v "JfeWmU, WO TTAIOTTT KYSTOyE. MAW IQM
t ,'-'vCrtiUrs all communications to Evening TuMla
p y" cagcr, swocpenacwee aquarc, ."luaqgtpnta.
., - ..i.-m ... .MiwvbuiaiA ruai ui.iva
rwk -. fern. ..--,.. -.A-.. nn.n ..
j- jy j StCO.ID OUII Mail. M1TTIB.
.if Phll.J.lphU. Thur.il.-. Mireh :. 1918
a ' .
COMPLETE THE FRANKFORD
(. ELEVATED
V XTO MATTEU hat other public nprlts
Ll may be held up on account of the war
i f there should be no delay In the comple
tion ot the Frankford elevated II ru-.
(f rnia trtenslon ol the rapid transit facili
ties has become part ot the preparation
fnr- Tvltintncf thA wnr. Ttn mirnnsn l in
ar ":. .: ; ". :'.""' :::".... .
. i-. miuie ii easier lor wontmen 10 travel dc
;. tWeen Frankford and their homes In other
parts of the city and to Improve the means
r Ct ..I .1 1 4-. .!. a -a
P-CA the city north of Market street and the
tg district around League Tsland.
if, The l6w lino Is so near completion that
Vii., It can be DUt into servlcn In tho ne.ir
S future. To delay It would be Hko delayliiu
at f nA IsAntlrillitlArl nr fnoild hntii Ann tliA
wU swat ammunition dumps in Franco and
5 tho artillery at tho front. Communication
C.T tlAt-OTAM n tViA Viaea nh.1 tVisra frnnf la vital n
4 . .-..,- ,. . .... .... .
I)' nurecos in uuiuc. it. is equally Miai to
if luccessrul preparation for victory at homo.
Tills yrlll become evident to tho war ln-
-1 J ., . .. .. .. .... . . . .
vr ausiriea uouru u ic win givo nvo minutes
lv fVlAfirtif tn 41.A mil. a.
I'j It ecems that the British have bo run a
COllnter-olTi'r.slVA In .v.rnl Tilnrnn. Tlitav
lV tai1sn rsrli esaltnf rt Cnllli
""-" ' """J W VJ.
M; THE GREAT MINDS PAUSE
L OURELY all tho forces of political and
tH & economic destiny will pause momen
tarily and tremble and nil mi-win mn.
P'y cerned with the moro poignant consldera
k tlons of human aspiration will experience
K a. -thrill of reassuranco at the news that
r CSty Councils Common and Select aro
(j ininKing oi cnangmg tneir august mlnda
if. and of withdrawing from a prior deter-
mlnatloa to express no concerted opinion
V for or against woman suffrage.
M This is agreeable news. It would bo
pleasant If It might bo received with all
ti 1 t -"- uu u-iiuuiiuna ui 1110 ceiier
w y? wiwioui naunting- inougnt 01 tnosn
.cuuEu.ics mwuru sen-interest mat some-
I times may be observed In tho nprsnnnpl
of the municipal government "We dislike
'C mention It, and yet it may bo Just pos-
TZ' sible that Doctor Gleason wishes to permlr
fti m colleagues an ODDortunltv to ritnn fnr
the extraordinary exhibition of bad man-
ners and worso taste provided In tho
cnamoers recently, when a committee of
zfb reDrese.itn.tlvn nmnAn -.'q -.aaIcai ..i,i.
$'t the sort of courtesy that they might havo
Kfi, expected at a prlzo fight-
11" .
jt' A U-rusuayan commission, en route to
iy -sie-wre, -nas Kiunappca by a U-boat, and
I'ff U-nanlmousIy protests.
If'
, JUSTICE TO THE MAIL MAN
TARDY justice and tardy wisdom aio
linked in thn hill nlilrh Vina ..f ,....,.!
V -" - -" f"""
I uio x-uubo iu proviae tietier salaries for
B.M the employes In all divisions of the postal
w, eryice. An increase ranging generally
ITlv from 10 to 20 per cent is contemplated
f A and will soon be In effect.
Increases granted to mechanics, labor-
, -wo, .tMinajr H,.i mm woriters oi an sorts
ti la, private enterprises havo left tho men
'3 of the Government service nt a great dls-
K aayantage. The remedy for the existing
i c 'u"lons "noma do applied in the mints
ar mna n me custom houses and generally
- . throuirhout all thn hrnnr-lioa nt tin. i.u.
??I ami cjkn.n.a iPnt. la nA, Mn....i..
v .ww. n..,,a ta liuv AUVlViy U HieuHUrO
:j:j of economic Justice under present condl-
yra, tlons. Better wages for Government em-
J ployes are absolutely essenUal If the mall
A system and other divisions of the public
'j .service of the greatest importance to the
; .industrial life of tho country aro not to
?- be weakened in comnctltlon with nrii.oi-
fj ... 4-...-.VW
J Industries.
: V r M WhV Is It thfll VnilnP -jrnmAn rAln.HnJ
I 'S1' l ..lU IM -. ...
,-.w- imwis -nia re Always Baia to do
. eemely"?
i " "
f CLERGYMEN CANNOT STRIKE
l . ll -Tir.T.U'l wn-IrM.n' nA.A..J l ..
vvV :--' ,. w. ,.;, vutuiuiiicu oy mo
,v.' increasea cost or Jiving, demand bet-
f1p 3-y; 'n'1 they do not get it they
' 'jmriKe.
w ,' " The.Iaymcn's committee on salaries for
R, the, clergy in the Massachusetts diocese
p; , fjf,e..piscopal qhurcli has prepared a
jssfxt tor Buumisslon to the approaching
-sMan convention, in which it remimis
j-tsreeiiurches that the clergymen, con-
ItOfrte? 6y the increase in the cost of
sWwotlnnot secure better pay by threat-
0CMf;to tftrow up their Jobs, even though
the,' Hr' they now receive la lower in many
,man mat enjoyed by skilled me-
i la no more heroin crrniin In Am-.
J6 thn the body of educated and trained
tmm oocujiyinK me puipus ot the churches
IM sreiiomlnatibn and spending them-
I51ifl55
uaSK SA 'laad ttu'nnnnU 4n n Ul.t..-.
" , Wie ""tbey themselves are re-
s-aienv, suuucij 10 weep ppay ana
nsjr.ane cajinoi puy me hooks
u.0ey cRiwibt educale their
The . Masiachuset'Ji commit ton
pertinent, words to say on the
S'J ,- M'raa'SI w
wvtwersti ,wim. ine , peuy
t user' sjsu- SWT--H uaesr
A PARADISE FOR TRAITORS
rpiIE Department of Justice is ono of tho
, divisions of tho Federal Government
which appears not to have benefited in
tho least by nny systematic effort nt n
special war efficiency. It is hampered
in nil parts of tho country, of course,
by grievous inheritances from the slack
days of pcaco nnd patronage.
Recurrent bleak travesties of Federal
procedure against traitors, scditionlsts
and spies might bo cxplninablo in part
nt least upon this ground. Yet the fu
tility of tho Department of Justice in
many recent instances is made more dead
ly by an odious perversion of sentiment
which, persisting in tho Swivel Chair Di
vision of tho War Department or in some
other equally potent sanctuary nt Wash
ington, still insists upon being gcntlo
rather than bravo in dealing with the
most dangerous enemies of the country.
Abominnble outrages against Amer
ica and American sentiment grow moro
frequent even in these hours of tragedy
and sacrifice. Traitors nnd seditlonists
arc permitted to fling insult nnd derision
in the very face of all tho nation. And
somewhere in Washington the rulo is
being preserved that you must depend
chiefly upon sweetness and light in deal
ing with paranoiacs and perverts, whoso
malignant idiocy would compel them to
lay bomb plots in heaven.
In the Public Ledger yesterday former
Ambassador Gerard put the situation in a
vivid sentence when he said we in this
country are in a state of siege. We are
in a stalo of siege. Yet in Chicago thero
was n street parade to celebrate tho
German drive. A good-sized crowd sang
the national hymn of Xaiscrdom. Also in
Chisago a soldier in the uniform of the
American sen-ice was hissed nt a public
meeting. Millions of bushels of wheat
have been destroyed by incendiary fires.
A feW months ago a German agent,
known to be ono o the most dangerous
in tho service of his country, was caught
in the act of transmitting information
to tho German War Office. He was
arrested, ticated with tho utmost
courtesy and sent to the Atlanta Peni
tentiary to be the comfortable guest
of the country for two years. A little
while later one of the captains of the
National Army was sentenced to twenty
five years in a military prison after
ho had expressed what were nt least
frank and honest objections to shooting
at his own relatives on tho other side.
In this latter instance the sentimentality
that replaces good judgment in some oJ
the obscure branches of tho Government
wreaked itself fully.
The slackness and the scandalous in
efficiency of the Federal authority in deal
ing with dangerous enemies have had defi
nite results. Demonstrations of enmity
and disloyalty multiplied in many parts
of the country at the moment when tho
German drive seemed most perilous to
the Allied lines.
It is tho habit of some Administration
officials occasionally to lament the indis
position of a considerable part of the
country to realizo that we are at war.
Does all of Washington officialdom real
ize 'ully that we are at war, or do those
who direct the Department of Justice
and some of the War Department bureaus
still suppose that pussy-footing and par
lor manners belong to the school of ad
vanced militarism? In every other bel
ligerent country traitors and spies aro
shot or hanged. In America we still
coddle them.
Senator James, of Kentucky, and Con
gressman Kahn, of California, have re
cently demanded that tho lope be used
upon the more dangerous enemy aliens.
Spies, traitors and scditionists should bo
executed, and no secret made of the fate
allotted them. Until this shall be done, a
good pait of tho country must continue
to believe that from the viewpoint of offi
cials who havo full power to suppress
treason the lives of pro-German para
noiacs are more precious than the lives of
the American soldiers at the front or on
their way there.
Sir Douglas Halg cannot be very much
worried ns to tho final outcome of tho pres
ent crisis, or he could hardly have found
tlmo to send a flfty-slx-word reply to Presi
dent 'Wilson's message of encouragement,
SEND THEM "FAGS'
AMONG tho minor Viartlmo duties of the
. trousered population there Is nothing
that ought to bo moro constantly remem
bered than tho duty of keeping our men
In Franco well supplied with tobacco. Let
ters from the other sido lay constant stress
on the consoling virtues of tho weed In
the trenches. Tho Virginian herb has con
tributed many gentle and philosophic in
fluences to human life, and Is by no means
the roaring devil of sin some of the pan
hellenlsts havo painted It. I3ut never in
its long history, since Sir Walter Italelgh's
man turned tho hoso on hlj master, has
tobacco had so high a mission as its pres
ent task in soothing tho nerves of tho
men who are facing death en tho field of
honor
And the ,smoko of the soldiers Is the
humble "fag." The cigar is too expensive;
there ia no time for tho plpo. A cigarette
can be bmoked In a few whiffs and car
ries ltd little blue fume of relaxation
where It Is most urgently needed. Will
you not remember that, each tlmo jou
buy tobacco for yourself? Buy a carton
of cigarettes once a week for your own
man Over there and send it to him.
The German troops In the present drive"
are said to have received two days' "Iron
ration" when they were sent over the top.
Hut Halg has now given them vlttles of
steel (both cold and hot) for a week.
THE P. p. T.'S SCHOOL OF MANNERS
DIGNITY i of manner is not a quality
easily acquired. Schools often teach it
and teach in vain. Dignity may be in
herited, and then, like money similarly ob
tained, It must bo lived up to, and it be
comes in the course of time a. curse of
sorts. i-inlly that Isn't dignified volla!
That la the Ideal quality) It is flexible and
easy", wd U makes everybody comfortable,
4 a rule the dignified and; the undignified
alike.
We ebould, be dlsalSeel ,ln Philadelphia
! the trolley asi-aiip'iai tve. ideally
A aWC'jnsMUM O
EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER
any court in Europe. Llfo on tho trolleys
In the rush hours, w-non tho green
motormen punish the machinery, becomes
merely a long series of oows and apolo
gies and pollto supplications for pardon:
an cniKess courso ' of training In voice
modulation nnd temper, In posing nnd in
tho high arts! of dissembling embar-ass-ments,
woe, anger and tho slgi s of physi
cal suffering. Tho green motormen are
doing us nn unexpected service Tho V.
It. T. may wako up one of th;so days and
charge extra for I(.
Como on, now; be frank; haven't YOU
got some plans for a hundred-mile gun con
cealed somewhero In tho old trunk In tho
attic? Almost ocry one elso seems to.
SPRING AND THE WAR BUSINESS
WHEN tho various and sundry birds of
spring drop out of tho bluo to sing
a concerted obbllgato to reveille: when
thrushes or whatever others of tho Bpeclcs
happen to bo tho premier daylight savers
of their kind beat even tho mess sergeant
Into tho yellow sunlight of days misted all
over with gold at each end, then llfo In a
training camp must seem to Involve) tho
peculiar fortunes of tho blessed.
Who, In days like these, -vould choose
a flat-wheeled trolley astray In a disor
ganized schedule to a pair of army shoes
and miles of fragrant road whero there Is
neither job nor tlmo clock Iceman nor
baker, landlord nor boss to confuso tho
serenity of his view? Tho little old birds,
so called by thoso who know them best,
summon tho soldier up beforo tho trum
pets. They sing to him on his hikes and they
sway and shut their ejes and grow dizzy
In their own ccstacy of sound In dulcet
Intimations of tho wonders being prepared
for his eyes. So, nt least, wo aro led to
bellovo by letters from Pit and Meade.
And thero Is nothing to do but eat, listen,
wall: nnd grow strong.
How many aro there, theso mornings,
who look up from dusty desks nnd wish a
big-Jaw cd general would como along and
whip tlcm away Into tho nrm?
Tho nickcns Fellowship met last nlcht at
tho Adelphla Hotel. Applaudcrs of the fitness
of things rejoiced to i-eo tho namo ot Jlrs.
Josephine Coppcrlleld on tho program. And
et people say that Charles didn't take his
names from teal life.
Inconstant Constantino, the former mon
arch of Greece, has been denied his pension
of 000,000 drachmas by the Athens Parlia
ment. Con will havo to draw his pay cn-
elope In marks Instead of drachmas hence
forth. What an ordnance department wo would
havo If the Inventors would only leavo It
alone and glo It tlmo to do somo work!
THE CHAFFING DISH
Dove Dulcet, Philadelphia's own BUbcaltber
poet, sends In a free erso poem In what ho
calls calorimeter. Ho calls It:
EATING BY CALOIUES
Fate cannot harm me, I havo
Dined today
(AVheatless dav)
On Mock Mutton (254 calorics),
lentil Soup (360 calories)
And lee water (100 negative calories),
Making a total of 511 calories.
Add it up and seo for jourself.
All the best restaurants tell you how many
Calories ou cat nowadays; It
Takes your mind off the food.
DOVE DULCET.
Will tho gentleman who signs himself
S, V. kindly call at our office? Since his
article, entitled "Sitting in the Barber's
Chair," appeared on this page last Monday
thirteen malo voices havo called on tho tele
phone asking the namo and address of S. V.'s
barber "who does not prattle." And ono
gentleman, moro sinned against than cynical,
left the following with us:
CONFESSIONS NO ONI! BELIEVES
THE BARBEU
I am a barber: that Is. ono who shave,
champoos and cuts your hair In silence.
I am reticent and hao no opinions on
tho weather and tho suburban train herv
lee I hao my own brands of scalpofoam
and nostril powder, but I nccr press them
upon my clients. It Is beneath my dig
nity to accept gratuities. The latest maga
zines are alwajs waiting for ou In my
Miop. You can get a hair cut with mo In
ten minutes. When I gle you a "hot
towel" your skin will not bo scalded for a
week afterward. My towels aro all steri
lized nnd my operators are all native-born
citizens. All my .manicure girls aro young,
slender, witty, sympathetic and Presby
terians. I never say to my clients "Your
hair Is coming out rather fast." You need
never wait for a chair in my shop. Very
few of tho leading politicians are shaved
here ; only tho respectable middle-class
citizens. I rarely Inflict permanent Injury
on a customer who trusts me. I do not put
Geisha cream on your hair. I expect to
go to heaven when I die.
OSCAR CHINSCRAPE.
We havo received a telegram asking
whether the dialling Dish accepts contribu
tions, Cigars and silk hosiery (slzo 10&). If for
warded to this office marked "Socrates will
reach tho proper destination, unless they
aro handed to tho elevator boy.
This seems to bo poetry day. Henry
Plantagenet (fine old family, the Plantage
nets) sends us this, which can only mean
that the gardening season has begun ; unless
It's a poem that Henry wroto last year and
wasn't ablo to sell:
MY FAVORITE FLOWERS
The yellow orchid why discuss.
When ou can eat asparagus!
What stained-glass window could repeat
The red-veined leafage of the beet?
What delicately mottled green
Is In the humble, honest bean,
And what a balm for sin and grief
Tho crisp and curly lettuce leaf I
The corn. In green, translucent files.
Shimmers like cathedral aisles:
The cabbage that the frost has touched
Is like a pigeon's throat unsmutched.
An onion. If you hold your nose,
Is marvelous as any rose I
HENRY PLANTAGENET.
Dr. William C. Farrabee, a South Ameri
can explorer, spoke the other evening of a
snake he Had met. He cut Its head off with
a machete and It ran a hundred feet before
It realized that It was dead. The rattlesnake
of Prussian militarism may be In this case.
It cut Its own head off when It raped Bel
gium, but the deuce of it Is, the serpent is
still rattling. SOCRATES.
The Hydraulic Muse
There b two cars In
like
this building, doss,
so please don't
crowd! fifteen per
eons I all by law
allowed; and 'deed
It don't seem fair to
me to work thls.cooq
to death; tho fojks
keeps shoving in on
me, J hardly cap
draw breath ; this
car la full from
'worn to tt-fbt wW
this,
the
lucky
ft
.joatlift.
teat.
( st i.
- PHILADELPHIA, THURSDAY, MAftCH 28,
WAR AND FRIENDSHIP
A Little Stpry o a Soldier's Billet
Tho latest tssv-e of The Stars and
Stripes, tho official publication of tho
American expeditionary forces in France,
has Just reached this counlrv- It eon
tains tho follou tup veru appealing Jiff'
sketch hj rirst Lieutenant Charles P.
Pushing, United States marine corpj re
serves: IT WASN'T my fault I had nothing to do
with the billeting arrangements but every
living creature In the old house, and every
thing Inanimate, scorned to cry out that first
day against my Intrusion. The rusty hinges
of tho gate protested tOirllly beforo I could
set foot In tho yard. Tho billeting sign, done
In stencil on a plcco of new packing board,
seemed to bo a desecration of tho charm of
tho gray plono wall. Madame R met
ino at tho door and failed to accept my prof
fered handshake. (How could I know, then,
tho r.-ason for her seeming coldness?) Gray
headed Monsieur, bent oxer his cano and
shunting along In wooden shoes, wearily led
the way upstairs.
Onco In my room, the little knlcknacks
on tho mantelpiece, tho prayer chair nnd the
rosary bcsldo tho bed nnd tho shelf full of
well-worn books, sfnoto my conscience again.
Thoso books, In particular. I took ono down
"Montaigne I" Tho man who had lived In
this room and whoso personality had colored
It, the man who had gone out from hero to
die, perhaps, for la Patrle, had loved "Mon
taigne!" I am not ashamed to ray It; as I
closed tho book and stealthily replaced It on
the Elicit tho tears stood In my ejes.
HOW was I to know, then, that the Man
of That Room was still allvo and gal
lantly fighting for IiIh country? How was I
to know, then, that Madame B did not
tako my hand because, through Illness, her
sight was nearly gone?
Next morning Madame and Monsieur In
Ited me to their Ilttlo cellar-like living
room downstairs. It had a tiny stove, two
chairs, a table coeicd with oilcloth. An
aged terrier, addressed as Moose, hopped up
to the shelf on tho front of the stove, hug
ging tho fire. All teemed so old, so wintry,
so pitiful!
Little by little we grew better acquainted.
I gao Monsieur a packago of American pipe
tobacco. That did much to break down bar
riers. I told him It c.imo from Virginia, and
he looked up tho State In a tlnv t-i-liool geog
raphy which treated of tho whole of North
America In a nne-pago colored map. with
three-quarters of n pago of text opposite.
Madamo followed mo to the door that
morning and whispered: "He has not had
tobacco to smoke these to months. Monsieur.
Ahl Ho will now bo blen content."
And, truly, ho was. It warmed one's heart
to Bee him Bit by the fire and puff at his old -I
uiacK unar plpo.
SOON I heard nbout Madamo's Illness, and
had ono of our nay medicos pay her a
professional -lslt. It was wonderful to eeo
how she began nt once to pluck up hope and
spirits. Tho doctor's cheerful manners (bluff
old mariner) did as much ns his medicine to
effect the transformation. Within a week she
declared her sight was clearer. Doubtless It
was, too, for her ailment was one which
quickly affects the ees.
My morning calls became an Institution. I
was shown through tho other rooms of tho
house, closed since tho war tho "company"
kitchen, with copper pots and pans of every
sliapo and size shining on tho walls; tho
parlor, with a grand piano which had been
muto Blnco tho first days of tho war.
I learned, then, about tho daughter In
Tarls "you should hear her elng. Monsieur,
nnd jou would saynn all do, ravlssant!"
And, lastly, In a moro hushed tone. Madamo
told mo of tho flon away at the front: how
hard he had worked and how he had climbed,
grade by grade, from tho ranks to a lieu
tenant's commission.
GRADUALLY tho placo seemed to grow
moro friendly toward me. Aged Mooso
f-howed ho could be taught new tricks; at
least, ho learned to bark a friendly greeting
every morning when 1 came downstairs for
a pitcher of hot water. Tho fragranco of
Monsieur's pipe bade mo dally welcome, too.
Madame could smllo now she could hee so
much moro clearly, thanks to tho good Tea
doctor from America. One day she was even
persuaded to put on her Sunday black bilks
nnd fare forth to hear our Marino Band play
In tho village square.
"You must not think mo overcrltlcal," she
reported later, "but your sea-soldiers should
practice harder on tho 'Marseillaise.' Thev
already do really well with 'Madeline.' And
they are really wonderful when they go at
thoso happy American pieces."
We pledged tho Entento that evening In a
bottle of twenty-year-old port from tho cob
webby cellar; sipping slowly, and talking the
whllo of the happy days to come, with peaco
In the world again and all the church bells
clanging jojously.
WIEN the hour arrhed that I must
shoulder my pack and bid good-by to
my billet I took down "Montaigne" again.
This time the good old book was llko my
good aged hosts and venerable Moose and
the rare old wine. I chanced on a passage
of philosophy about wars I closed
the book reverently after a whllo and put it
back, blen content.
Madame and Monsieur followed me to the
gate, wrung my hand nnd wished me the best
of luck. Mooso barked excitedly.
"We bliall not forgot you. Monsieur
Charles. We have learned to Iovo you. Long
live America."
Neither shall I forget you, good old
friends, nor bo ashamed of the love I bear
ou j-ou and j-our friendly land that tries
bo braely to bo gay.
"Vive la France!"
I blurted It out. choking.
They understood and tried to smile.
The old gato creaked as It closed after
mo this time not bo shrlllj-.
Fiction on tho Disk
THE "bedtime stories" by a certain popu
lar author have been put on phonograph
records for the enjoyment of children and
the relief of parents who have no genius for
tale-telling. 7"hls suggests a regret that the
marvels of voice reproduction have not been
generally applied to tho great romancers of
the language. What fun It would have been,
on a winter night, to turn on the disk record
ing ono of the most thrilling chapters of
"The Principles of Political Economy," told
In the vibrant squeak of John Stuart Mill.
Or. drifting In a canoe, on an August-drowsy
afternoon, how Jolly to dream away the
hours listening to some pellucid little tale In
the Btart-and-stop accents of Henry James.
But seriously, let us hope that this new
Idea will be widely taken up by the voice
reproducing companies. Think what It would
have meant to us to have Stevensofi's stories
or Riley's poems preserved In the very tones
of the authors. Think. Joo, of the fat record
royalties for writers that lurk In the scheme.
If we were a. phonograph mogul we would
move heaven and earth to get the Jungle
Book stories recorded In Mr. Kipling's own
voice: and perhaps also Mr. Chesterton's
rumbling bass in some ot his deathless
limericks, such as
There was a young girl of Lahore,
The same 'shape behind as before:
And aa'no one knew where
Ton offer a chair, ,
She Tiad to sit down on the floor.
-The German armies
Or.HUMinareir, .have been kept bo
' .. 'i a.bu83. f0, a weeI h
they are living according. to a'rule of sleep
less nights. ., ,
Dr. Harvey W. Wiley,
Io the CaragsT former chief chemist
In the Department of
Agriculture, augg eata,that every family nx
a pet P's" aa a food-conservation measure.
But where would the' pir be kept when it
wasn't a-ntr entertained In he parlor? r
.
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n.a.-t ... i
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a I fjJULt-Af--- S.i!,fJSJF m T wmmm 1 HsEEar "" " "" """' aaJJr" I ""fa aa mm asiwsiisiia
ferv;
f.i.Vi "i. c. .;'' ' ,:" v , am
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1
163 INNQCENT OLD MEN
By CHRISTOPHER MORLEY
I FOUND Tltanla looking Becrcly at her
watch, which Is :y queer Ilttlo gold disk
about tho slza of a waistcoat button, swinging
under her chin by a thin golden chain. Tlta
nla's methods of winding, setting and regu
lating that watch have always been a mys
tery to me. She frequently knows what tho
right time Is, but how she deduces It from
tho data given by the hands of her time
piece I can't guess. It's something llko this:
Sho looks nt the watch and notes what It
saj-s. Then she deducts ten minutes, becauso
she remembers It Is ten minutes fast. Then
sho performs somo complicated calculation
connected with when the baby had his bath,
and how long ago Bho heard tho church bells
chime; to this result Bho adds flvo minutes
to allow for leeway. Then she goes to tho
phone and asks Central the tlmo.
,,TjULLO." I said; "what's wrong?"
JHL "I'm wondering about this daj light
saving business," she Bald. "You know, I
think It's all a piece ot pro-German propa
ganda to get us confused and divert us from
our military program. All tho women In
Marathon art talking about It and neglecting
their knitting. Junior's bath was half an
hour lato today because Mrs. Benvenuto
called me up to talk about daylight saving.
She says her cook has threatened to leae
If she has to get up an hour earlier In the
morning. I was Just wondering how to ad
just my watch to the new conditions.
"It's perfectly simple," I said. "Put your
watch ahead one hour, and then go through
the same logarithms you always do."
"Put It ahead?" asked Tltanla. "Mrs. Bor
gia says we hae to put the clock each an
hour. She Is fearfully worried about It. She
savs suppose she has something in the oen
when the clock Is put back, It will be nn hour
overdone and burned to a crisp when the
kitchen clock catches up again."
"Mrs. Borgia Is wrong," I raid. "The
clocks aro to be put ahead one hour. At 2
o'clock on Easter morning they are to be
turned on to 3 o'clock. Mrs. Borgia certainly
won't have anything In the oven at that tlmo
of night You see, wo are to pretend that 2
o'clock Is really 3 o'clock, and wlien we get
un at 7 o'clock It will really bo 6 o'clock.
We are deliberately fooling ourselves In order
to get an hour more of daylight."
"I have an Idea," Bhe Bald, "that you won't
tret up at 7 that morning."
"It Is quite possible," I, said, "because I
intend to stay up until 2 a, m. that morning
in order to bo exactly correct In changing
our timepieces. No ono shall accuse me of
being a time slacker."
TITANIA was wrinkling her brow. "But
how about that lost hour?" she said.
"What happens to It? I don't see how we
can Just throw an hour away like that- Time
toes on Just tho same. How can we afford
to shorten our lives bo ruthlessly? It's mur
der that's what It 1st I told you it was. a
German plot. Just think; there are a hun
dred million Americans. Moving on the
clock that way brings each of us ono hour
nearer our graves. That Is to say, we are
throwing away 100,000,000 hours."
She seized a pencil and a sheet of paper
and went through some calculations.
"There are S760 hours In a year," she said.
"Reckoning seventy yeara a lifetime, there
are 613.200 hours in each person's life. Now,
will you please divide that Into a hundred
million for me? I'm not good at long dl-
TWlth docility I did bo, and reported the
rAbout 163," I said.
There you are I" she exclaimed trium
phantly. "Throwing away all that perfectly
i-ood time amounts simply to murdering 163
harmless old men of seventy, or 326 able
bodied men of thirty-five, or 1CS0 Innocent
little children of seven. If that Isn't atrocity,
what Is? I think Mr. Hoover, or Mr. McAdoo
or somebody ought to be. prosecuted."
X was aghast at this awful result. Then
on idea struck me, and I took the pencil and
began to figure on my1 own account.
"Look here. Tltanla," I said. "Not so fast.
Moving the clock ahead doesn't really brlnr
those people any nearer their graves. What
ii? oea do la bring the end of ,thewar sooner.
.vieaa la a Una thing. By,dkH!n a hundred
HtHHeti hours we bring, the ,- of "the, -war
CKwer, i'ns Tsary
1918
THE BULLDOG
said with sarcasm, "the war must havo ended
about 11,000 years ago."
asTITY DEAR Tltanla," I said,
"- of the Government may
'the ways
seem In
scrutable, but we havo got to follow them
with faith. If Mr; McAdoo tells us to mur
der 163 lino old men in elastic-sided boots
wo must simply do It, that's all. War Is a
dreadful thing. ' We havo got to meet the
(lermans on their own ground. They adopted
wis daylight-saving measure years ago. They
can at Sonnenuntergangverderbenpraxls, I
,ne;Lee- Uter "" lt ls onIy a temporary
?.su.rc' 1,eeauso In tho fall, when the day
tifm A'Urs, s,ot 8hor,er' we shall have to
turn the clocks back n couple of hours In
?tJh7J comPnste the gas and electric
light companies for all the money they will
tlemU0.1 I.?"' Vn brlr"r thoso 1C3 olJ tw
inlr ,A,t0 '.fe aealn ana ,loubI ther remain
,r,r ?f yfars t0 mako un for 'hc'r torn
tsIy.,?fff?,5t Thcy are Patriotic hos
,,t? TITe for the summer only. You
must remember that tlmo Is only a phllo-
oxia,tPnaiab3tI;actlo,,, wllh no real r "IMe
existence, and we have a right to do what
ever we want with It."
"I will remind you of that." she said, "at
gett ng-up time on Sunday, morning. I still
link that If we aro going to monkey wh
he clocks at all it would be better to turn
them backward Instead of forward. Cer-
cmb'a !,ht,lVeariu1r''r,ne 5'U hme tnm th8
hand Am.'t1 wd" "We flrVn Mr- McAdoo's
hands. A little later we ma? be put on time
rations. Just as we are on food rations. We
may havo time cards to encourage thrift in
saving time. Every time we save an hour
wh.UI B..a "a"'8 B,amp t0 show "o" "t!
When we fill out a whole card we will he
entitled to call ourselves a month younger
than we are. Tell that to Mrs. Borgia? It
will reconcile her." b' "
A LUSTY uproar made Itself heard up
atalrs , and Tltanla gave a little Bcream.
"Heavens!" she cried. "irr t ..,T..1
with you and Junior's bottle Is half an hour
late. I don't care what Mr. McAdoo does
to the clocks: he won't bo able to fnni
Junior. Ho knows when It's time for meals
Won't you call up Central and , M,,T.
.... r . . "- , 1I1C-1B,
up Central and find out the
exact time?"
,,. ... Ultimately the Kaiser
There Will Be Crow can cat his words, but
,. ., . . that sort of diet will
Jhifuns VCry Ba0sfylnB t0 " starving
I
The Feminine Language
To.the Editor of the Evening Pubilo Ledger;
nr81 '" read wlth n,uch raln Andrew
McGllls "Grammar of ths Feminine Lan
guage." Will you be kind enough to naaa
on to Mr. McGlll the subjoined protest?
Dear Andrew McGlll Of course, you are
a man and have never ,as a young lady
been summoned down to the front parlor at
8:16 to take charge of entertaining one of
your learned sex for the evening. Other
wise you would not have had such a ner
fectly beautiful time describing the gram
mar of the feminine language In Tuesday's
EVEKINQ PU8M0 LEDOEn.
It would be Interesting to flay your
whole "durn" grammar, but I am golntr i
to content myself with the pronoun. "The '
pronoun Is I." you say. I read and Immt.
dlate y I was reminded of the above- '
mentionea nour or :ib. I wish you could
have been behind the sofa in those days
Andrew McGlll. It was awful until I dis
covered something. You can make a man
talk if you let him talk about himself. The
pronoun I belonging to women! Mr, An
drew McGlll, In the language of the poets
you don't know what you're talking about'
I'll concede a good bit of your grammar
'But I can't swallow that. I never met a
man In my life who didn't perk up and
stay an hour longer If yqu gave, him half
a chance to get a stranglehold on that
pronoun L I've done my bit In listening
and I want jou to know about Jt.
These, are, of course, the golden days,
when all for fifteen cents Mary Plckford
wU while away the evening and Jack up
the gentle art ot conservation. But, any
way, Mr. McQlll, some day when you're
going on a long trip. and have nothing to
.do, Just listen to the younganan In the seat
la .front of ysu' talking to hla arfrL Then
7wswasnimsH frt yepf
jt Bri . lGWW
y.,, h 1-v ra
'!i
.
DEBUSSY, TONE MASTER
ALTHOUGH his life span mtuurMjf
-t -v. fifty-six j ears, Claude Achllle Dewusjr,
whose death has been reported from VuMak,
lived long enough to see his musical rsdl-J
callsm almost legitimatized. In this he
caped the fate of so many artistic pioneers.;
Blazing the way, however, involves niasi
difficulties. Debussy hurled his delicate, psfS
fumed lance at the whole structure of modsn
music fashioned on the principles of Waiatr
and Beethoven. Grandeur was the P"sa
quality of their art. Subtlety was Drtustjx!
In developing his concepts he even soufhitol
overthrow tho whole prevailing system
harmony and reverted to the antique Orsj
... ... . ...-,a-
gorian scale, jus meai was lone raiiwr uu-".
'tune, and his refined Intangible melodHs-l
1,iv. nntlv loan culled "sound wralthj." oil 'J
muslo purely cerebral rather than emotlettiC,
uccasionauj' ne maue concesaiuna, aa m r"-g
highly effective cantata "The Prodigal BM.W
with which. In 1884. he won the covttMg
"Prix de Rome.,' But In the main hls.aMWgl
............. ... 1.1 ,... 1n.. ft. Ma l
SUDJCCllMiy 1CU IUI11 Hliu Winn ..v.
"Pollens rt Mellsande" ls the most preteB
tlous exemplar of his methods. Orlflnalt'?
mntninHi as crvDtlc and monotonous. WMia
music play, based directly on Maeterundrs
mystical drama, eventually took rank as aj
masterpiece of exquisitely Deaumui ww
painting. The work puzzled New Yorlt-JM
1908, and Philadelphia still more wnen v
Tin..v.Aiatin firnt cava lt here the folk))
year. Subsequent performances clarified J
-l nnt 4Y.A Atrinnnltlnn found ltS V
IIlBUIlllIK '- '-' -wt"'- Vfi
Into the world's great opera houses. Jfri
His purely Instrumental writings prow
less baffling and some of them, notably t0
prelude to "The Alternoon oi a r-"Sir
. a. ..a,.Atlnl MUM
now ratea as aimosi ojitmi -
... .4.. v-annh mnslrt nnd much Oat
world's has been Influenced by "Dl;a'S
musical palate. D'lndy ana navei in .
.1... .,,, itav nnriifliM.. but none tnt
adopted, his colorlne. Puccini "P'gljy
The Girl oi ine uoiiuu "cou ""'
-j it,. Mn(1.rr. Tt.lflA.AnS h&V6 XOllOWM I
anU W.O IaV"-s -- riaa.slssJ
No composer has quite gone to Debvw
extremes, but the effect of his art s
j..- Mntiv visum. It was unt
. T,"' ..n;..'.n.n Iv. of "the fine .pW
V,0,mu., .v....--...-- ,
J.ino- fnr civilization. II. T.-a
(line. . - - f n
Field Marshal
.i i-. sneaking In his
"' . sage to President 1
Bon for the. men who are willing Jo-
with their lives to now mo ..--w""
"' .. .i... in unt the cost.
might be written large 'as a ??:
ftn who are now asked to subscribe to
new Liberty .Loan.
What Do You Know? -
QUIZ A
..a a sit a- aajaaaara1 aaf sSflN-l
1. Who Is tlje nnina "" "" ,,i
S. WherC. Aton.,BM what l It" lat-!
4. & ..7-u; to I!. .'
' " an 1 mh RneshBAT
5:X..Vm7rrV was ....
'Barniiarners-i jtsh
7. What to meant br "- ritty'J
V JL- .- - at.- i.mmI aava IB IB WenST J
i' What ls the Koh-t-Neart . &
,; waleh Uit to eallrf tt- Mtoer.T J
Answer to Yesterday'. QulH
1 Tb FMllPnlnes were namea
Philip II of Spain, . .
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nalana wrra is""!JS
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