T. 7 •. ■' -•- ■ ; •/ • • ■ J I ' 1;* - sl)c jtancttstcr fntcUitjciuxi: VOL. LXIII. THE LANCASTER INTELLIGENCER. BUSHED EVEBT TUESDAY, AT HO. 8 WORTH DUX* BTRBKT, 3Y GEO. SANDERSOS. TERMS Subscription.— Two Dollars per annum, payable in ad vance. No subscription discontinued until all arrear ages are paid, unless at the option of the Editor, Advertisements. —Advertisements, not exceeding one square, (12 iinee,) will be inserted three times for one dollar, and twenty-five cents for each additional inser tion. Those of greater length in proportion. Job Printing— Such as Hand Bills, Posters, Pamphlets, Blanks, Labels, Ac., Ac., executed with-accuracy and on the shortest notice. NOTHING TO DO. Miss Mollina McMorran was hearty and hale, Yet wished to be slender and languid and pale. So defrauded her stomach of what was its dae, And cheated her muscles of exercise too ; She dipped in the goblet her fingers so rare, And wiped their tip ends with a delicate air, Then crossed her white hands on her hoop-bespread lap,, Too inert to converse, and too vain for a nap; For still ’twas her aim in attracting the view, To convince all beholders she’d nothing to do. Miss Julia de Scamper was agile and bright, Her step like the queen of the fairies was light; So, her feet for the sloth of her hands made amends, And she took for her calling to call on her friends; At all seasons and times she saluted their view, Though they might be busy, she’d nothing to do, But a plenty of small talk around her to fling, So she babbled away like a brooklet in spring, Hanging up a slain hour as she went from the door; Alas! for such trophies when time is no more. Miss Celestia Fitz Mackarel would dawdle all day Over crotchet and worsted, or novel and play; She sorted her shades with an accurate eye, But let her poor mother’s wan features go by; "Who, worn half to death with her family care, Found nothing like help from her daughter and heir. The getting of dinners, the toil and the stir Of such vulgar pursuits, were disgusting to her; And thus to her nondescript creed she was trne, The mother might fail, but she’d nothing to do. 0, young men, my masters, who dream with delight Of a home of your own, which no discord can blight, Where the roses of Eden, from fading exempt. And an Eve whom no contraband apple can tempt, Where the wheels of good order like clock-work shall move, And babies well trained bring an ocean of Jove, Where prudence with smiles of endearment shall glow, And wealth hand in hand with economy grow; I’d fain sound a trumpet and bid you beware Of quicksands beneath, though the surface seems fair, Avoid, like the Upas, with poisonous dew, Those exquisite Ladies who’ve nothing to do . THE SHADOW KISS. Two deep bay windows lit the room In which we watched the evening gloom ; In this myself and Lucy sat, Pater and maiden aunts in that; The gaslight on the flags below And on our coiling cast a glow. While pater and his coterie Talked matters parliamentary, Or ruled, with solemn shake of head. How prudontly tho young should wed, In my committee I said, “This, My dearest, is the time to kiss!” Lured by the shadowy hour and nook, s The proffered pledge she coyly took; When, lo ! by our unluoky fate, In silhouette our tete-a-tete, Noses and pouted lips were all Obliquely shadowed on the wall! So, when the footman brings in tea, Sombre are they, and scarlet we; The lamp has prematuroly shown A truth we had not dared to own ; Small thanks to light untimely cast, And yet this kiss was not our last! The Tale He Told the Marines. Now mind, I will not guarantee the truth of this. I can only tell it you as he told it us. It sounds improbable, certain ly, but no one oan say it is impossible. What is there to prevent a lady, if she is so inclined, from . But that would spoil the story. And there is no law of nature, I suppose, to restrain a man who is so devoid of gentlemanly feeling as he is . But that would tell yon what is coming. It is no good saying he was in toxicated, because 1 defy you to get drunk on sherry and soda-water ; and to lay it to the heat of the season is absurd, for it was a remarkably cool evening for August. No! Jenkyns is a man who has had some strange experience, and this is not the least strange among them. Still, mind, I will not guarantee the truth of this; though, by the way, you don’t often find a man tell the same tale twice in exactly the same way if it is not true, and I have heard him tell this twice. The first time was at a dinner at Lord . Well! it does not matter where. It is sometimes advis able not to mention proper names. I don’t think mentioning this would do any harm, though—at a dinner at Lord’s crioket ground, and the second time was on the occasion of which I am speaking, when I found him drinking Bherry and soda-water, and smokiDg cheroots with three officers of Marines, one of whom, with five gloves (ladies’ six-and-a-half) and a withered rose before him, was telling how, ‘ after leading me on in this way, after gaining my young affections in this treacherous manner, by Jove ! sir, she throws me over and marries Blubber.’ ‘ It’s like the sex,’ said the second Marine. ‘ l’ts woman that sejueies all mankind,’ said the third Marine. ‘ It reminds me of what onoe happened to myself,’ said Jenkyns ; ‘ you don’t know the story,’ he continued, turning to me. ‘ So just order yourself some sherry and soda-water ; ah ! and while you are about it order some for me too, and you oan pay for them both when they come ; then I shan’t be put out. Paying for anything always puts me out. Thank you! I’ll try one of your cigars. Well, gentlemen,’ turning to the Marines, ‘ some time ago I was staying with Sir George P , P House, P shire. Great num ber of people there—all kinds of amuse ments going on. Driving, riding, fishing, shooting, everything, in fact. Sir George’s daughter, Fanny, was often my companion in these expeditions, and I was considera bly struck with her. For she was a girl to whom the epithet 1 stunning ’ applies better than any other that I am acquainted with. She could ride like Nimrod, she oonld drive like Jehu, she could row like Charon, she could dance like Terpsichore, she could run like Diana, she walked like Juno, and she looked like Venus. I’ve seen her smoke.’ ( One good point in her character, at any rate,’ said the third Marine. 4 Just like the sex,’ said the second Marine. ‘ Ah! she was a stunner,’ continued Jenkyns ; 1 you should have heard that girl whistle and laugh—you should have heard her laugh. She was truly a delight ful companion. We rode together, drove together, fished together, walked together, danced together, sang together. 1 called her Fanny, and she oalled me Tom. All this could have but one termination, you know. I fell in love with her, and de termined to take the first opportunity of proposing. So one day, when we were out together fishing on the lake, I went down on my knees amongst the gudgeons, seized her hand, pressed it to my waistcoat, and' in burning aooents entreated her to become my wife. “Don’t be a fool!’- she said. ‘Now drop it, do, and pit me a fresh, worm on.’ “,O Fanny !’ I exolaimed, ‘don’t talk about worms when marriage is in question. Only say.—’ ‘ ‘ I tell you what it is, now,’ she re plied, angrily, ‘ if you don’t drop it I’ll pitch you out of the boat.’ ‘Gentlemen,’ said Jenkyns, with strong emotion, ‘ I did not drop it j and I give yon my word of honor, with a snetten shove she sent me flying into the water j then seizing the eenlls, with a stroke or two she put several yards between ns, and burst into a fit of laughter that fortunately prevented her from going any further. I swam up and climbed into the boat. f‘Jenkyns,’ said I to myself, ‘ revenge! revenge!’ ‘ 1 disguised my feelings. I laughed— hideous mockery of mirth—l laughed. Pulled to the hank; went to the house, and changed my clothes. When I ap peared at the dinner-table, I perceived that every one had been informed of my ducking—universal laughter greeted me. During dinner Fanny repeatedly whispered to her neighbor, and glanced at me. Smothered laughter invariably followed. ‘ Jenkyns,’ said I, ‘ revenge!’ ‘ The opportunity soon offered. There was to be a balloon ascent from the lawn, and Fanny had tormented her father into letting her ascend with the aeronaut. I instantly took my plans ; bribed the aero naut to plead illness at the moment when the machine should have risen ; learned from him the management of the balloon— though I understood that pretty well be fore—and calmly awaited the result. The day The weather was fine. The balloon was inflated. Fanny was in the ear. Everything was ready, when the aeronaut suddenly fainted. He was oarried into the house, and Sir George aeoompanied him to see that be was properly attended to. Fanny was in despair. ‘ ‘ Am I to lose my air expedition ?’ she exolaimed, looking over the side of the oar. ‘ Some one understands the management of this thing, surely ? Nobody ! Tom !’ she oalled out to me, ‘ you understand it, don’t you ?’ ‘ ‘ Perfectly,’ I answered. ‘Come along, then!’ she oried; ‘be quick, before papa comes baok.’ ‘ Tho company in general endeavored to. dissuade her from her project, but of course in vain. After a decent show of hesitation I climbed into the ear. The balloon was oast off, and rapidly sailed heavenward. There was scarcely a breath of wind, and we rose almost straight up. We rose above the house, and she laughed and said : ‘How jolly!’ ‘ We were higher than the highest trees, and she smiled, and said it was very kind of me to come with her. We were so high that the people below looked mere specks, and she hoped that I thoroughly under stood the management of the balloon. Now was my time. ‘‘ I understand the going up part,’ I answered ; ‘ to come down is not so easy,’ and I whistled. ‘ ‘ What do you mean V she cried. ‘ ‘ Why, when you want to go np faster, you throw some sand overboard,’ I replied, suiting the action to the word. ‘ Don’t be foolish, Tom,’ she said, trying to appear quite calm and indifferent, but trembling uncommonly. ‘ ‘ Foolish !’ I said. ‘Oh dear, no ! but whether I go along the ground or up in the air, I like to go the pace, and so do you, Fanny, 1 know. Go it, you cripples !’ and over went another sand-bag. ‘ ‘ Why, you’re mad, surely,’ she whis pered, in utter terror, and tried to reach the bags ; but I kept her baok. ‘ Only with love, my dear,’ I answered, smiling pleasantly ; ‘ only with love for you. 0, Fanny, I adore you ! Say you will be my wife.’ ‘ ‘ I gave you an answer the other day,’ she replied, ‘ one which I should have thought you would have remembered,’ she added, laughing a little, notwithstanding her terror. ‘ ‘ I remember it perfectly,’ I answered, ‘ but I intend to have a different reply to that. You see those five sand-bags ! I shall ask you five times to be my wife.— Every time you refuse I shall throw over a sand-bag—so, lady fair, as the cabman would say, reconsider your decision, and consent to become Mrs. Jenkyns.’ ‘‘ I won’t,’ she said j ‘ I never will; and let me tell yen that you are acting in a very ungentlemanly way, to press me thus.’ ‘ ‘ You acted in a very lady-like way the other day, did you not,’ I rejoined, ‘ when you knocked me out of the boat ?’ She laughed again, for she was a plucky girl, and no mistake—a very plucky girl. ‘ However,’ I went on, it’s no good argu ing about it—will you promise to give me your hand ?’ ‘ ‘Never !’ she answered ; ‘ I’ll go to Ursa Major first, though I’ve got a big enough bear here, in all oonsoienoe. Stay ! you’d prefer Aquarius, wouldn’t you ?’ She looked so pretty that I was almost inclined to let her off (I was only trying to frighten her, of oourse—l knew how high we could go safely, well enough, and how valuable the life of Jenkyns was to his oountry ;) but resolution is one of the strong points of my character, and when I’ve begun a thing 1 like to carry it through so I threw over another sand-bag, and whistled the Dead Maroh in Saul. ‘ ‘ Come, Mr. Jenkyns,’ she said, sud denly, ‘ oome, Tom, let us deseend now, and I’ll promise to say nothing whatever about all this.’ ‘ I continued the execution of the Dead Maroh. ‘ ‘ But if you do not begin the descent at onoe I’ll tell papa the moment I set foot on the ground.’ ‘ I laughed, seized another bag, and looking steadily at her, said : ‘ ‘ Will you promise to give me your hand ?’ ‘ ‘ I’ve answered you already,’ was the reply. ‘ Over went the sand, and the solemn notes of the Dead March resounded through the ear. ‘ ‘ 1 thought you were a gentleman, said Fanny, rising up in a terrible rage from the bottom of the ear, where she had been sitting, and looking perfectly beautiful in her wrath; ( 1 thought you were a gentle man, but I find I was mistaken; why, a ohimney-sweeper' would not treat a lady in such a way. Do you .know that you are risking your own life as well as mine by your madness ?’ ‘ I explained that I adored her so much that to die in her eompany would be per fect bliss, so that I begged she would not consider my. ; feelings at all. She dashed her beautiful hair from her face, and “THAT OOUKTRT IS THE HOST PROSPEROUS WHIRR LABOR OOHHAHUS THI GRRACTST RRWARD.”—BUOHAHAH. LANCASTER CITY, PA., TUESDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 25, 1862. standing perfectly erect, looking like the goddess of Anger’ or Boadioea—if yon oan imagine that personage in a balloon— she said: ‘ ‘ I command yon to begin the desoent this instant!’ ‘ The Dead March, whistled in a man ner essentially gay and lively, was the on ly response. After a few minutes’ silence I took up another bag, and said : ‘ ‘ We are getting rather high ; if you do not decide soon we shall have Mercury coming to tell us that we are tresspassing. Will yon promise me your hand V ‘ She sat in sulky silence in the bottom of the ear. I threw over the sand. Then she tried another plan. Throwing herself on her knees and bursting into tears, she said : ‘ ‘ Oh, forgive me for what I did the other day ! It was very wrong, and lam very sorry. Take me home and I will be a sister to you.’ ‘ ‘ Not a wife V said I. ‘‘ I can’t! I can’t,’ she answered. ‘ Over went the fourth bag, and I began to think she would beat me, after all; for I did not like the idea of going much higher. I would not give in just yet, however. I whistled for a few moments to give her time for reflection, and then said : ‘ ‘ Fanny, they say that marriages are made in heaven—if you do not take oare, ours will be solemnized there.’ ‘ I took up the fifth bag. ‘ ‘ Come,’ I said, ‘my wife in life or my companion in death ! Which is it to be v and I patted the sand-bag in a cheer ful manner. She held her face in her hands, but did not answer. I nursed the bag in my arms as if it had been a baby. ‘ ‘ Come, Fanny, give me your promise.’ ‘ I oonld hear her sobs. I’m the most soft-hearted creature breathing, and would not pain any living thing ; and, I confess, she had beaten me. 1 was on tho point of flinging the bag back into the car, and saying : ‘ Dearest Fanny, forgive me for frightening you. Marry whomsoever you will. Give your lovely hand to the lowest groom in your stables ; endow with your priceless beauty the chief of the Panki wanki Indians. Whatever happens, Jen kyns is your slave—your dog—your foot stool. His duty, henoeforth, is to go whithersoever you shall order—to do what ever you shall oommand.’ I was just on the point of saying this, 1 repeat, when Fanny suddenly looked up and said, with a queerish expression upon her faoe : ‘ ‘ You need not throw that last bag over. I promise to give you my hand.’— ‘ ‘With all your heart ?’ 1 asked quickly. ‘ ‘ With all my heart,’ she answered, with the same strange look. ‘ I tossed the bag into the bottom of the ear and opened the valve. The balloon descended. ‘ ‘ Gentlemen,’ said Jenkins, rising from his seat in the most solemn manner, and stretching out his hand as if he were going to take an oath : ‘ Gentlemen, will you be lieve it? When we had reached the ground and the balloon had been given over to its recovered master —when I had helped Fanny tenderly to the earth, and turned to her to reoeive anew the promise of her affections and her hand—will you believe it ?—she gave me a box on the ear that upset me against the ear, and running to her father, who at that moment came up, she related to him and the assembled com pany what she oalled my disgraceful con duct in the balloon, and ended by inform ing me that all of her hand that I was likely to get had been already bestowed upon my ear, which she assured me had been given with all her heart.’ ‘ ‘ You villain!’ said Sir George, ad vancing toward mo with a horse-whip in his hand, ‘ you villain ! I’ve a good mind to break this over your baok!’ ‘ ‘ Sir George,’ said I, ‘ villain and Jenkyns must never be ooupled in the same sentence ; and as for the breaking of this whip, I’ll relieve you of the trouble ;’ and snatching it from his hand I broke it in two, and threw the pieces on the ground. ‘ And now I shall have the honor of wish ing you a good morning. Miss P, I forgive you.’ And I retired. ‘ Now I ask you whether any speoimen of female treachery equal to that has ever oome within your experience, and whether any excuse can be made for such oonduot ?’ ‘ As 1 said before, it’s like the sex,’ said tho second marine. ‘ Yes, all mankind is sejuiced by woman,’ said the third marine. ‘ It’s just my case over again,’ said the first marme. ‘ After drawing me on in that way—after gaining my affections in that traitorous manner, by Jove ! sir, she goes and marries Blubber !’ Well, it does sound improbable, certain ly—very improbable. But I said before 1 began that I would not guarantee the truth of it. Indeed, if you ask my candid opinion, I don’t think it is true ; but yet the marines believed it. [CP*Before the days of chloroform there was a quack who advertised tooth-drawing without pain. The patient was placed in a ohair, and the instrument applied to hie tooth with a wrenoh, followed by a roar from the unpleasantly surprised sufferer. ‘ Stop,’cried the dentist, ‘ oomperie your self. I told you I would give you no pain, but I only just gave you that twinge as a speeeimen, to show you Cartwright’s method of operating!’ Again the instru ment was applied, another tug, another roar. ‘ Now don’t bo impatient, that is Duinerge’s way ; be seated and calm ; yon will now be sensible of the superiority of my method.’ Another applioation, an other tug and roar. ‘ Now, pray be quiet, that ip Parkinson’s mode, and you don’t like it, and no wonder.’ By this time the tooth hung by a thread; and whipping it out, the operator .exultingly exolaimed, ‘ That is my mode of tooth drawing without pain, and you are now enabled to compare it with the operations of Cart wright, Dumerge and Parkinson.’ A young man who was desirous of marryiDg a daughter of a well-known Bos ton merchant, after many attempts to broach-the subject to the old gentleman, in a very stuttering manner commenced :— ; ‘ Mr. 0 , are you willing to let me have your daughter Jane?’ ‘Of course I am,’ gruffly replied the old man ; ‘ and I wish; you would get some .pther likely fellows to marry .tho rest of them !’ HP” Thrown piece of meat among Bears, and a purse, of gold among men, and whioh will behave., the mpst. outrageously- the men or the bears t 1 A Horae .Bought and a Lawyer Sold. BY A COUNSELLOR AT LAW. The lawyer’s experience, as given below, is not a singular one, and some of onr readers, no donbt, have abnndant reasons for sympathy with him in his troubles. The diffionlty is, experience in such a case does not always bring wisdom : I had a wife and three small children. My office was in Boston, and we lived in an adjoining town. I needed the exercise of riding, and a drive now and then, toward evening, with my family, would be good for ns all. We had formerly lived in the country, where every body keeps horses, and a horse seemed really necessary to onr oomfort, and so I determined to buy one.. I had owned several horses in my day,and. knew something of horse-flesh, and I had been engaged in several horse oases -in coart, and of course I knew, as every, man of observation knows, that horses are a dangerous commodity to deal in. Being, however, forewarned, and being .a lawyer, 1 felt no apprehension that I oonld not look pretty well after one side of the bargain. Before trying to buy au article, I always make up my mind exactly what I want. Then I am not misled by every foolish fanoy, as one is liable to be who looks through the market for something that suits him. The horse I would buy must be a good saddle-horse, a pacer or ambler under the saddle, but of oourse a square trotter in harness. He most be young and sound, of handsome, Bprightly figure, kind as a kitten, never needing the whip, but yet safe for my wife to drive, not afraid of the engine, fast or slow at the driver’s election. To be sure, I had onoe heard our minister, when I lived in the oountry, tell the only horse-jockey in the parish that he wanted just such a horse, and I heard the jockey’s irreverent reply, ‘ Why, you old fool, there ain’t no such hoss.’ Yet I had heard of such animals, and seen them advertised, and if I had not happened to see one that exactly answered the description, it was probably because I had not been looking particularly after him. When it became known that I was in want of a horse, it was really amusing to see the attempts made to deoeive me. They evidently thought I was a green hand at the business, and that I was a fit subject for any imposition.. One fine-looking animal was brought me, that to a careless observer, would have seemed nearly perfection. He had a slight cough, but the owner assured me it was nothing, only a little oold the horse had taken the day before, by standing in a draught. He eould not deoeive me. I had owned a horse with the heaves, years ago, and advised him to take his worthless beast to somebody who did know so much about horses. Another would have suited me exactly, but he had several soars on his legs, oaused, as the dealer said, by break ing through the stable floor. I inquired a little, and ascertained that he had taken fright, upset the carriage, and gone home, two miles, on the dead run, with the for ward wheels, into his stall, oarrying with him a hay-outter and a grind-stone that stood in the floor, and so had cut himself to pieces trying to kick away the fragments. Another had an interfering strap on his ankle, having lately been badly shod. 1 saw through that poor falsehood at once. I think I should have bought of one dealer whom 1 knew, and who assured me he would not for the world deoeive me, had not the singular animal exhibited the unfortunate ecoen tricity of standing on his fore legs exclusively at intervals, when I attempted to ride him outward from the stable, owing, probably, to a defeotive nervous organization. I determined to have no more to do with dealers, but to keep a sharp lookout for myself, and when I found the right kind of an animal, to buy him, even if I had to pay a high price. Walking one afternoon from Cambridge to Somerville, 1 rested for a moment by the hawthorn hedge at the foot of Kirkland street, and looking baok, I observed a beautiful black horse, surmounted by au elderly, cadaverous gentlemen, who had somewhat the air of a olergyman. The horse was moving at an easy, ambling pace, scaroely faster than a walk, the rein hang ing loosely on his neok, while the rider was serenely reading a newspaper. In the lan guage of the free-love woman to ‘ Artemus Ward at Berlin Hites,’ I mentally exolaim ed, 1 1 have found him at last.’ I accosted the traveller, and passing by the details of our conversation, it is suffioient to say that the animal was everything that could be desired, and although it would well nigh break the hearts of the owner’s family to part with him, he oonld he bought for the moderate sum of two hundred and fifty dollars. It may be interesting to tbe although somewhat premature, to learn what I afterwards discovered, that the owner’s ‘ family’ consisted of one bull terrier pup whioh slept with him in a stable-loft every night. 1 met the owner, by appointment, next day, at my office in Boston. He had been employed, he said, as travelling agent of a Boston house, and had no further use for the horse; he would give me a written warranty of the animal as perfectly sound and kind ; indeed I might take him home a week and try him, and see for myself. Nothing could be fairer than this. I took my prize to my own stable, I kept him full a week, I rode him and drove him daily ; my wife rode him and drove him j my man i Barney rode him and drove him. My'ad miration of him inoreased. He was to all appearance sound and kind. He was fast or. slow, as I chose to hive him. He would face the cars without winking, and stand without tying. In short, he was a perfect horse. At the end of the week I paid, the price, took a written warranty, and went home rejoicing in my success. Every horse should have a name, and we con cluded to call this ome, on account of his many good qualities, Honesty. For a few days I was engaged constantly in a long trial in ooUrt. The horse stood Still in his stable, well fed and well groomed, so as be in tbe best condition for use when my leisure days should come. Barney said one day that he harnessed Honesty to the wagon to bring some oats- from the store, and that he refused for some time to Start from the yard. However, Barney was no horseman, and I thought that the fault was in bis awkwardness. in handling the reins. A day or two later, my wife’s brother took her with the ohildren out for a drive with Honesty, in the carryall j and she pportedt that. tHpanimal itmisted bn' gping up Beacon street, instead of Tremont street where they wanted to ga -Thin did not seem exactly right, but still I had full faith that Honesty would prove all right when I held the reins. Finally, my trial in court was finished, and there was to a picnic near Fresh Pond, where all my friends were going. - I had bought a new light top-baggy, and harness to match, and wife and! drove np. Honesty was in high feather, and made the new carriage spin along like a linen wheel.” We passed the afternoon Ixl the woods, and when onr carriage was brought up for our return; everybody was attraoted by onr elegant turn-out. . I confess I felt not a little pleased with this-universal apprecia tion of my taste. I don’t know why it is, but everybody considers a oompliment to his horse as fully equivalent to one to himself. We bade adieu to our admiring friends; I handed my wife into the carriage, gathered np the ribbons, and waved my hand by way of parting salutation. Hon esty pawed, but did not move forward. I chirruped and shook the reins. Honesty shook the reins. Honesty shook his head, and gave a significant snort. A friend took him by his bit, when he stepped rapidly backward, till the new buggy brought up against a tree. I touohed him with the whip, when he reared and snorted, and my wife soreamed. 1 Don’t whip him,’ cried a friend; .‘ whipping never does any good to a oontrary horse.’ ‘ He is an offehder, I see by his actions,’ said another. The details of the exhibition are not agreeable to dwell upon. Neither coaxing, whipping nor pushing oould induce that beast to even draw the empty oarriage out of its tracks. I asked a friend to take my wife home, and leaving my elegant carri age, ignominiously led the obstinate brute to a stable near by, and left him for the night. ‘ A sadder and a wiser man I rose the morrow morn.’ I persevered with Hon esty yet a while, but after being kept two hours by his stopping in a rainy night on Cambridge bridge, on one ocoasion, and being obliged to leave him in the stable yard, when in great haste to meet an en gagement at Lexington, I reluctantly eon eluded that he was not perfectly kind.— My wife had long sinoe declined further experiments with him. 1 was puzzled whether to admit myself duped and cheat ed, or attempt to cure the defect. I rode the beast occasionally, and sometimes drove him, with various successes. One day 1 had business at Concord, at the oountry court, and with a friend drove into that beautiful village just at sunset.— Court had just adjourned for the day, and my brother lawyers, and clients, and jurors, and witnesses, were lounging about the hotel and the old elm of the common. Just as we came in front of the Middlesex Hotel, I observed my horse suddenly to falter ; then he stopped, throwing up his head, and jerking it sideways in a manner remarkable to see, seemed quite bewilder ed. ‘He has a fit.’ ‘ Jump out, or you will get hurt,’ cried the multitude, whioh at onoe surrounded ns. My friend obeyed the oall, and I at tempted to do so, just as the distracted beast sallied baokward over the shaft, ‘ and Mortham, steed and rider fell.’ Down we came in one miscellaneous heap, the carriage essentially smashed, and his owner vexed and discomfited. A few days proved that Honesty was subject to frequent attacks of this kind. But had I not a warranty, and am I not a lawyer ? Straightway I commenced an aotion for deceit. It is a proverb at the bar, that a lawyer who tries his own oase has a fool for his olient. I retained and paid counsel. I summoned and paid wit nesses ; consulted and paid Dr. Dadd and- 1 other experts. The oase was tried, and all Middlesex oounty was made to under stand how a lawyer had been cheated by a jookey. The jury rendered a verdict in my favor for one hundred and twenty-five dollars damages, probably upon the idea that a lawyer ought not to recover more than half that he is cheated out of. 1 gave my execution to an officer, with orders to arrest the rascal, and told my counsel to oppose,him at every step, and follow him to the end of the law. After a few months, my attorney sent for me, and gave me the result of follow ing my directions. The defendant had been committed to jail, where he had quietly remained several weeks, apparently happy in the consciousness that by the beneficent provisions of our laws, 1, his creditor, was paying one dollar and seven ty-five oents per week for his board. Then he had given notice of his intention to avail himself of a further beneficent provision of our statutes by taking the poor debtor’s oath. My counsel had faithfully obeyed instructions, and opposed him there, paying for me, according to law, two dollars per day to the commissioner, while the examination was pending. Fi nally, the vagabond had succeeded in swearing out, and my various hills amount ed to about the amount I had first paid, two hundred and fifty dollars. Tho enemy was free, but I was not. I still had that ‘ dreadful horse,’ worse than Mr. Pickwick’s, that nobody would take away. A neighboring horse-dealer offered me fifty dollars, and I sold him, and took his note for the amount.' A few dayß after, I asked him 1 what be had done with him. He said he had advertised him to sell at a horse sale in the city. I had a rational enriosity to see the advertise ment, and asked him to show it to me, | which he did, and it ran as follows : ‘ Blaok Saddle Horse. A particularly fine, black saddle-horse, perfectly sound and kind, in all respects, and free from tricks.’ I don’t know how much he got for his fine saddle-horse. I only know that I still hold his worthless note for fifty dollars. —American S took Journal. Skatistioal. —Upon the indulgence of this now fashionable pastime; the Journal of Health is especially particular. ‘lf the thermometer is below thirty,’ it says, ‘ and the wind is blowing, no lady or child should be skating.’ We are not so dear about this. If the lady is ‘ below thirty,? and of graceful figure, let her skate, no matter how the mercury desoends. If she is the reverse—let her slide ! Cp” A good epigram is a good thiDg, and never grows stale with age. Here is one very old and ex cellent. Who wrote it?— A foot and knave, ■with different views, For Julia’s hand.apply; Xhe knave to mend, his fortune sues, ' The fool to please his ey’e. Ask you how Julia will behave ? , . Now, take it for a rule, . . “ If she’s a fool, she*ll wed the knave ; . If she’s a knave, foql. THE LANCABTKH, UimueRRCER _L JOB PRINTprS establishment, No. 8 NORTH DUKE BTRKKT, DANOABTKR, PA. The Jobbing- Department la. thoroughly furnished with new and elegant typeof every description, and Is under the charge of a. practkaLand experienced Job Printer.*** The Proprietors are prepared to PRINT CHECKS, NOTES, LEGAL BLANKS, ' : CAKDB AND CIRCULARS, BILL HEADS AND • HANDBILLS, ■ PROGRAMMES AND POSTERS, PAPER BOOKS AND PAMPHLETS, _ BALL TICKETB AND INVITATIONS. PRINTING IN COLORS AND PLAIN PRINTING, neatness, accuracy and dispatch, on the most reasona ble terms, and in a”manner not excelled by any establish ment in the dty. 4sSr Orders from a distance, by mail or otherwise, promptly attended to. Address • GEO. SANDERSON A SON, Intelligencer Office, No. 8 North Duke street, Lancaster, Pa. rpHE PEOPLE'S HAT 19D GAP STORE BHUL.T.Z..<& BRO., HAT MANUF-ACTURERS We would again eall the attention of onr CUSTOMERS and all disposed to favor ns with their patronge, to OUR STYLES FOR THE FALL OF 1861. Onr Stock will consist as heretofore of BILK AND OASSIMERE, FIR AND WOOL SOFT HATS, IN ALL THEIR VARIETIES We would call particular attention to the McClellan hat, THE FREMONT HAT , THE OXFORD HATLatest Out. A Beautiful Assortment of PALL STYLE CAPS CHILDREN’S FANOY HATS, CAPS AND TURBANS, BOY’S FATIGUE CAPS We would earnestly invite all to give us an early call before purchasing elsewhere, feeling well assured amid the varieties offered, they will not fail to be salted. In conclusion we would retarn our slncero thanks for the past liberal patronage afforded ns, and we trust, by close attention and despatch, to merit Ub continuance. JOHN A. SHULTZ, N rthQueen Street Lancaster Q.EO. CALDEB *,CO Have removed their WAREHOUSE, COAL AND LUMBER YARD, FROM GRAEFF’S LANDING, To the Property formerly occupied by Messrs. P. Long A Nephew, on the opposite or south side of the Conestoga, And would call the attention of their old customers and all interested, to their superior STOCK 0 E COAL , Suitable for Steam, Lime Burning, Black Smith and Family Uses, by the boat load or ton. Also, to their STOCK OF LUMBER, OF EVERY DESCRIPTION, CONSISTING OF Ist and 2nd COM. BOARDS, Ist and 2nd COM. PLANK, CULLING BOARDS, BARN BOARDS, CULLING PLANK, PINE SHINGLES, CYPRESS SHINGLES, HEMLOCK SCANTLING AND JOIST. CAROLINA YELLOW PINE FLOORING BOARDS, PLASTERING LATHS, PAILS AND PICKETS, Ac., Ac All of which 1b of the best quality, and will be Sold as low as.can be purchased elsewhere. 49* We have the best Stock of POSTS and RATT.R in tho city of Lancaster, consisting of LOCUST MORTICED POSTS, CHESTNUT MORTICED POStfs, ’ BOARD FENCE POSTS, AND A VARIETY OF CHESTNUT RAILS AND OTHER FENCING MATERIAL. GROUND ALUM AND ABHTON SALT, LUMP AND GROUND PLASTER. 49* Recollect that we have removed to the other end of the Bridge, where we will be pleased to see onr old friends and customers. G . CA L D E R <£ CO., OFFIOK IN LANCASTER, AS USUAL, East Okahgk Strut, bxoond door from North Quxxn. Dr. j. t. baker, UOMCEOPATHIC PHXBICIAN, Of Lancaster Cut,’ may be consulted professionally, at his Office, at Henry Bear’s HoteK in the Borough of Strasburg, on Thursday of each week, from ID o’clock In the morning to three in the afternoon. An opportunity Is thos afforded to residents of Strasbnrg And vicinity to avail themselves of Homoeopathic treatment, and females suffering from chronic diseases may enjoy the advice of one who baa made this elans of diseases a speciality. J..T. BAKER, M. D.? Homoeopathic Physician, oct 22 tf 41J East King street, above Lime, Lancaster. DRESSLER’S HAIR JE 15 ILRT STORE, No. 206 North Bth Street abovc lucip - PHILADELPHIA. On hand and for sale, a. choice assortment o: superior patterns’; and will plait to order BRACELETS, ; EAR RINGB, FINGER RINGS, BREAST PINS, CROSSES, NECKLACES, GUARD AND VEST CHAINS. Orders enclosing the hair to be plaited may be sent by mail. Give a drawing as near as you can on paper, and .enclose such amount as you may choose to pay. ‘ Costa as follows: Ear Rings $2 to ss—Breast Pins $3 to $7— Fingor Rings 75 cents to s3.6o—Vest Chains $6 to s 7— Necklaces $2 to $lO. , Hair put.into Medalions, Box Breast Pins, Rings. Ac. OLD GOLD AND SILVER BOUGHT AT FAIR'RATEB. apr 36 ; -. lyl4 American life insurance anb TRUBT COMPANY. CAPITAL STOCK , $500,000 Company’s Building, Walnut street, 8. E. corner of Fourth PHILADELPHIA. LIFE INSURANCE AT THEUBUAL MUTUAL RATES, or at Joint Stock Rates, at alxmt 20 per cent, less, or at Total Abstinence Rates, the lowest in the world. A. WHILLDIN, President. J. 0. Sues, Secretary. • • H. S. GARA, Esq., East King street, Agent for Lanca* ter county [mar 22 ly 10 T / 1 SOMERS «. SON’S ' WHOLESALE AND RETAIL CLOTH HOUSE, No. 625 CHESTNUT STREET, PHILADELPHIA, (Under “ Jayne’s Hall,”) Where they are now offering their large new Stock of Fall and Winter Goods, comprising BLACK AND.COLOR ED CLOTHS, DOESKINS, FANCY AND PLAIN CABSI MERBB, COATINGS, RKAVBRB, LADIES’ CLOAKINGS, CLOTHS, SILK PLUSH VELVET, CASHMERE AND SILK VESTINGB, &o, at Wholesale and Retail foVCaah. AT A VERY SMALL ADVANCE ON COST. 49* Please Call and Examine. Also, Blue Beavers, Cloths and Kerseys, or the Army and Navy. [nov 26 3m 46 Emporium of taste. •, SHAVING, HAIR CUTTING AND BHASIPOONIN6 * BAL 0 0 N-;,. • ’ • j - One door East of Cooper’s Hotel, West King SL, Laneastei eep 8 ly 84} S. J. WILLIAMS, Proprietor.* Furniture of evert descrip tlon, warranted as good as the best,'end eheaper than the cheapest— at KETCHAM’S, Nobth Quxsv stems, op. poritoßhenh’s National House, Lancaster. • N- B. To any one purchasing $5O worth before the first of Noremberuext, 10 per cenfc will be allowed! firtQuh. ; eu*sL i - .... :j .• : itftt-. gOBETHISS- S<OR ''-THeT 'iiIRKS 11 4W A NECESSITY IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD. **» JOHNS A CROSLEY’S AMERICAN CEMENT CLUE The Strongest Glue In the World. The Cheapest Glue in the World. The Moot Durable Glue In the World. The Only Reliable Glue in the World. The Best Glue in the World; AMERICAN CEMENTS LCJB la the only article of the kind aver produced which WILL WITHSTAND WATER, IT WILL MEND WOOD, Save your broken Furniture. IT WILL MEND LEATHER* . Mend yonr Harness, Straps, Belts, Bbota,_#o. EP WILL MEND GLASS.,:- Save the pieces of that expensive Out'Glass Bottle. IT WILL MEND IVORY, Don’t throw away that broken Ivory Fan, it U easily re paired. Your broken China Cups and Bancers can be made as good IT WILL MEND MARBLE, . That piece knocked oat of your Marble Mantle eah be pu on as strong as ever. t. " • r IT'WILL MEND PORCELAIN, No matter if that broken Pitcher did not eoat but a jShll ling, a shilling saved is a shilling earned. IT WILL MEND ALABASTER, , That costly Alabaster Vase is broken and yuuc&h’f matoh It, mend it, it will never show when put together. IT WILL MEND BONE, CORAL r LAVA, AND IN. FACT EVERY THING BUT METALS. Any artiole cemented with AMERICAN CEMENT GLUE will not show where it Is mended. “ Every Housekeeper should have a supply of Johns A Crosley’s American Cement Glue.***— New York Tima* “ It is so convenient to have in the house.”— New. York Express. “ It is always ready; this commends it to everybody.**— Independent. “ We have tried it, and find it as useful in our house as water.”— Wilkti? Spirit of the Tima. ECONOMY IS WEALTH $lO.OO per year saved in every family by One Bottle of AMERICAN CEMENT GLUE H. A. SHULTZ. VERY LIBERAL REDUCTION TO WHOLESALE For Sale by all Druggists and Storekeepers generally throughout the country. JOHNS t£ C R 0S L EY, 78 WILLIAM STREET, NEW YORK, Corner of Liberty Street. Important to House Owners. Important to Builders. Important to Railroad Companies. Important to Farmers. To all whom this may concern, audit concerns everybody, JOHNS A CROSLEY’S IMPROVED GUTTA PERCHA CEMENT ROOFING, The Cheapest and most durable Roofing in use. IT IS FIRE AND WATER PROOF. It can be applied to new and old Roofs of all kinds, steep or flat, and to ShlDge Roofs without removing the' Shingles. THE COST IS ONLY ABOUT ONE-THIRD THAT; OF TIN, AND IT IS TWICE AS DURABLE. This article has been thoroughly tested in New York city and all parts of the United States, Canada, West Indies and Central and South America, on buildings of all kinds, such as Factories, Foundries, Churches, Railroad Depots, Cars, and on Public Bnildlncs generally, Government Buildings, Ao., by the principal Builders, Architects and others, during tbe past four years, and has proved to"be the Cheapest and most durable Roofing in use; it islttevery respect a Fire, Water, Weather and Time Proof covering for Roofs of all kinds. * •' ‘ This is the only material manufactured hi tfr# ; Uuited States which combines tbe very desirable’ properties of Elasticity and Durability, which are universally acknowl edged to be possessed Gutta Percha and India Rubber. NO HEAT IS REQUIRED IN MAKING APPLICATION. The expense of applying it is trifling, as an ordinary Roo can be covered and finished the same day. IT CAN BE APPLIED BY ANY ONE, and when finished forms a perfectly Fire Proof surface, with an elastic body, which cannot be injured-, by Heat Cold or Storms, Shrinking of Roof Boards, nor any' fetter nal action whatever. v u LIQUID GUTTA PERCHA CEMENT, For Coating Metals of all Kinds when exposed to the Action of the Weather, and FOR PRESERVING AND REPAIRING METAi ROOFS This is the only Composition known which will -success fully resist extreme changes of ail climates, for any length of time, when applied to metals, to which it adheres-; firmly, forming a body equal to three coats of ordinal paint costs much loss, and will lost three times as longhand from its elasticity is not injured by the contraction, and expansion of Tin and other Metal Roofs, consequent upon sudden changes of the weather. - It will not crack in cold or run in warm. weather, and will not wash off. : - Leaky Tin and other Metal Roofs can .be readily repaired with GUTTA PERCHA CEMENT, and prevented from further corrosion and leaking, thereby ensuring ft perfect ly water tight roof for many years. This Cement Is peculiarly adapted for the preservation of Iron Railings, Stoves, Ranges, Safes, Agricultural Imple ments, Ac., also for general manufacturers'use; GUTTA PERCHA OEMENf- for preserving and repairing Tin and other Metal Bodfil of every description, from Its great elasticity, Is not injured by the contraction and expansion of Metals, and will not crack in cold or run in warm weather. These materials are adapted to all climates, and. wq are prepared to supply orders from any part of tbe country, at short notice, for GUTTA PERCHA ROOFING in rolls, ready prepared for use, and GUTTA PERCHA CEMENT In barrels, with full printed directions for application: £ We will make liberal and satisfactory arrangements with responsible parties who would like to eetabjlsl^them selves in a lucrative and permanent } OUR TERMS ARE CA SH We can give abundant proof of all we claim fm tirOT of our Improved RoofiDg Materials, having applied them to several thousand Roofs in New York city and vicinity. Wholxsalx Wahehousi, 78 Williax Braun, NEW. YORK. Corner of Liberty Street, Fall descriptive Circulars and Prices will be famished on application. . ' - V. RE ADT-n ADE ChOTHINO A COMFLETB STOCK OF MEN AND BOYS’ CLOTHING, ALSO ; I BLACK FRENCH CLOTHS, •. BLACK FRENCH DOESKIN CASSIMERE9, J PLAIN, BILK MIXED AND FANCY OABSIMBRES, BATTINETS, VELVET CORDS AND JEANS/ Will be made to order in a superior maimer at Jow> prices. MILITARY SHITS . Made to order in the best style at short notice,' by nov 26] HAGER A .. f£4d MONEY WANTED Inirarauniiee of an Ordinance of Select and Ownnion ConMiJa.ftf the City of Lencaater, paased the 6lh day of Angnat,lB6T, the undersigned is authorized to borrow a snm of mQPHJjra®* cient to liquidate City loans now due and demanded.- This is, therefore, to giro notice that prowls fc* an amount notexceediog ten thousand dollars, will bereceivad at the Mayor’s oEepifoir which. Oanpons or certificates of loan will be issued bearing 6 per cent, interest, and re* deemahle fo ten years from data. l T Jyj C GEO. SANDERSON, Matou’s Officf, Lancaster, Aug.- 1& • 'Mayor. angl3 -.v SIATTERAAXI.’S Hb'aVE ' P'6 Wife R Powdered Boain, Antimony;. PannigreaJcj.gßlphnr tpetre, Assafcetida, Alum, Ac. For aale at . , aprSl tf 14 • TBOMABBLLMAMB, Drag and Ohemical, Fishing tackle« %au*s-t Rods. Liznerich and Kirby-Hooks, Sea Grass, Cotton and Linen Lines, Floats, SnoodF, Ao:" . ..... * -■ For aalft at TnP^f*j ‘ Drag « Chemical Store, oppoMteCrpps Key* HoteLW gjagatreeVTanraitar IS NO. 7. IT WILL MEND CHINA, EXTRACTS Price 25 Cents per Bottle. Price 25 Oents per Bottle. Price 25 Cents per Bottle. Price 25 Cents per Bottle. Price 25 Cents per Bottle. Price 25 Cents per Bottle. TERMS OASH (Sole Manufacturers,) OF ALL KINDS. AGENTS WANTED JOHNS A C R 0 8 L »Y; Sole Manufacturers,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers