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IRIT TOR AN MAW.
(full prr scuwarnmuuramEß.)
My orrignhiecht Oct so welt, hut mich
sheer gorly Am der notion gebracht for
heirs. Ich war any how &Weiland das
warm ich mer net an krahteadkille un a
really haw kreeya konn, don do ieh ohna
entirely, un bleib an batcbelOr.
Zs war emiy, doh ha shteddle, sally hab
ink g'wle4, le an &marts un rechtshaffs
meadle, un swat, on m hab ich of course
net drakk himuit,'fbr heirs, weil es yusht
de Becky &tanker war ; so war olsfert
yusht so Boot 'das derheam in =sum
house. IMe i 8 Wilma un is widder gongs
maw bit hut walla, un se war olsfort
' Se war aw about goot-gneidch, un
so &smart nu shtick des mer se hut missa
respinfin Se-hut uatea tasty 11181110n8
On sick ghat, saner yusht plain, wohlfeal,
awer doch shtick, un somehow—ich wefts
aelwer net exactly we ich sawyer soli—net
we an grandy lady hut se geguckt, awer
doch fine, sauwer, shtick un ivver ous
stun art un fbrehtendich. De fact is, de
Barley hut rshofft for ears living—is
noes Irma neaya, un shpinna, un aw horty
serWOrt sham. Se but no kea cent un
neatich ous gevva, un a deal leit hen be
hat* se war witzich, awer se hut oh
fraawt se het tin min geauuk tau hrdeens
in ears ytmgy drtwya for sich tau erneara
liEljw—asommy but ale so orrig fed fun
der 'Whey gedenkt ; se hut, ale behawpt
dhar . tot nosh so an shmarts meadle *we a 3
Becks, tau firma, is im gonsa • %teat. Se
hut aw uft g'aawt das mer beast der
Becky ennich ebbas in der welt tsu Aw
are,. Aweri as Berkey war Irma doch
yoftitilhawrem, common, unhort shoal&
Somehow, nob 41601 dos kit disappoint
bin warra mit caner noch der miner, hob
ich awfonga tau mer selwer denka, wenn
now yusht de odder telly so fershtendich
weer we de Beckey—so shmart, un sich
salvors° ivver-ens neat, un plain un sim
ple awes macho, donn wet Joh my mind
OWN& rshwin6 uf macha for eany odder
de caner. Awer, ich hab on kenny den
ioa de hock genuuk shiest for my
fission germ, to so feel guter thrshtond
hulAse de Bexley. Un we meaner des
ichlo In meim mind de Berkey ferglieha
hob mit onnery armed, we meaner koryose
is rifts ibrekturima this mit all ears, hocha
an fashionable awshtells, hut om end ken
eantsiche inn eana halwer der fershtond
wu 46 Reeks" hut.
Amohl is owet war ich us do mommy
olleanich Wilton= in der shtulirhuakt,
an donn hab ich aw l sic fan der Beckey
awfonga, tau shwetta, us, hob cam g'sawt
dam ich an mono wiat deer ich suspect het
en , hoiwy notion sick aw tau macho bei
der linckey,' walla) is furor ous shack un
ohndirt'l6; i : mommy hut who walla
WrerAir, "soft in, awer ich hab gosirwt ich
hat nix ton nemond uswytt
Aare& "rep, secht de mommy, so
Petkey yeamohls heiert
OW" Ora flioehtsich doh bet tins lan
housetops: - Awer, ich glawb net das se
yeamohls an moon Weil*, for se is na net
of in de fashions, zinelnenehow, es dinkt
with se gebt nix um de menner. Wenn'
awer de Bear doFh hoira set,
mat de mommy, donnlcrickt any how ea
noun a shmarty un a guty bow.
Der mommy ears opinion inn der Beckey
hut awfonga, an impression of my mind
btu makhi. Denk lob, wann now de
Becke e y so onlg shmart warum set ich
net nei gut for in? Ss is any how kea
counterfeit ; se weas we tau shwetza mit
Srshtond i seneitht ha yacht im house
iler we an grosser hundosit ma tea kessel
*la ; is ken
AIM ; 414 0 14,1pilkille 00 shea un
40tranich Onollb 4111' nockber.
E w asama bow , bolt,
esht,. part, us. isw 'we mer
koosor ltiabler to/
sane se'l do lea lecher
is de shtris i np hat. 6 ' 'ken midi
erdli ntit t ok
Os key edenkt hob
WO boor hat se mer
And& esrl eintilog WS der Ports Long
hand bat ass ghtuppt hut, an we ser tin
dkuslty left in de r kOrich sin, 16 de Beckey,
WI for reateel 4euneest fors middog
ego:oohs * ata 4 aw derheam ge
anima We d o W . Sid* om krumbeera
ilea& war hut Mich g'froked we's
iltwount das ich net aw in de karrich bin,
en baker Oust idit wmr tau de con
doles kamma eon helfa middog easa
aucha. Bell, of course, hut se yusht
igleachert. Donn hab ich se amohl glikoked
silVe kumint dis se net Wert P Ei, secht
se, weil de t ferahten4iehe inenecAparrig
rahr utiteightendiehec &dung
was .0e an leirehtindiaer amen heaial
"Ei," ieeht se "eaner aver lbiliehteati.
genurdt hut et elayeve living tett nalkelloat
eaner deer net, tan hochnkeedbeh tan
shorn"; caner (her nix shtserrk3ker arinkt
das waster; caner deer net thleht—so
easereonsider Whim ferahtendieber mono"
"Bo about we loh--deukeht net?" fieg
"Oh, of course," ache se—" ich weae
well die du ea ferehtendicher mom
bisht,--awer de meaner slit eirya net all we
du. Awer, 'now • eog enkohl, we lgeoleede
dai du der ices Www trlekebett
"El," sog iek, " wail de frrsideadiehe
mad so orrig rainy slu, un an untbishbms
dielse ferkong net.” Doan but
so with aw Oohed was lob an linishten
dick 'Nadia bass?
"El," sog ich, "espy de ibrshtond go
null* hot ears eayene living teu =chit;
4anj , is aseasa bochoseedish is tau sixda,
un aw Nit ill net sauft, an set Audit,
'an n e t ali l ollll.oPler 4.4 1 k mad"
um kW ket totemellp. *Wimp but."
"8o altout easy we ich—denksht net,
secht se, so kaihme brinn"—
" Yoh," aeg ich, " lawkeY, grawd eany
we du, un Smieibealted wilt ich el wenn
ich net glawb dawn isich yieht exactly
ants deataitt." Now, wog ich, " Beckey,
was Is di *links della?"
"Oh, out,"_ secht ee—" ich bab
alleweil kea teelt so lobbich shtuft tau bob-
Awer, Beckey es la nor *night—
un now, es is rat derweert das ich wi du
long korriaseza derweapi--du kensbt match
un ich ken dich, un now, was sagsht
—yah odder nea—nemmaht mich odder
“ Ei Sam,” eecht se—" we shwetaht don
"Nix wart," eog ich—yusht rouse mit
der forrab—yah odder nea"—
"Un is dors wserklish now sernsht?"
" Uf course is users terusht.lt
" Wann denksht donn das user heirs
"ICI deer very dog—grawd fore em mid
dog ma—so ball das der porra kummt."
"El Sam, was meansht du donn, 77
"Ei ich• mean now das ich un du
teomma shponass--un das mer net long
ram foeks derweaya. Un now, sog ich,
bights agreed odder net?"
" Well, done," Becht se, " wenn es
donn obeolut so mug, donn go ahead—
ich bins agreed. ''s
Don hen mer aw agreed uns reedy
macha for tsu heirs ohna waddler fuss.
De Hockey is graved ob un ivver de felder
on ears hous e — so about an tiaras mile
ob,' tut but ears brown **Wailer dress aw
gedu; un in wennicher das tswanstch min
nulls war se widder tsuriek, un deweil
das se fort war hab ich acbt geiva das es
tleash im WM net feehrennt.
lyvet a while sin de alty leit under
Porra hame kumma un hen sick onna
g'huckt in de fuddera shtub, iur de mom
my is noose in de kick for gucka we's
middog essa awkummt.
"Now") 'edit de Berkey, "Now Sam
—now musht du's dqr mommy ewer aw
" Very well," sog ich. "Un now,
mommy, doh der onuer dog husht mer
g'saws das warm de.
heiert mus se de hochtsich doh im house
hawa, un for dich under dawdy un 'de
gone householtung tsu accommadata hen
mer den morya ous g'macht dos des house
doh about goot genunk is, un weil der
Form yetz yusht urn de weg is kenna mer
uns yuelOPea goot grewd tsomma
Immer un eawich, was war awer de
mommy gepleas'd, under dawdy aw, un
in wennicher das tint minnutta noch dem
das ich es der mommy g'sawt hab, war de
Beckey my trawl Tin of der heitich dog
considder ich mich an glicklicher monn
das ich se grickt hob, for so is noch so
rhea un so shtick un fershtendich das
—Mr. Shepherd, of Everton, Indiana,
having bad- -the misfortune to lose' tds
wife by eleperaenty thus describes the hir
runaway : She is five feet in height, rather
heavy, having very de* hair and eyes,.
a short concave nose, dark skin, a little
mousbiebe, thick lips, no front teeth, all
the teeth in her head decayed, and not
much of them left except roots, round
shoulders, subjettlw Mak, a scar on
her colar lboormi by a burn, one or
two scars on he zukone croo ked rib. II
—The Gloucester Neu:latells a story of a
boy in one of the schools of that town
Who is an inveterate rhymster, and who
laughed one morning, Vg 1M4Y0 ,8 9 at
the sight of a rat. ' Imbed why Le
laughed, he replied :
"I saw a rat epos the stairs,
Coming up to hear oar prayers."
Being told that be must immediately
make another rhyme or be flogged, be
quickly answered :
" Herel stand before Any 11 _
She's going to strike, aid I WSW—
ibell dodge it.
—A prise of two dollars was recently
offered to any member of the Connecticut .
Teachers' Institute who would write and
spell correctly the words in the Mowing
sentence : "It is an mreeabk sight to wit
ness the unparalleled eashaleseemsee of a
harmed peddler atiesepting tomN& the
symmetry of a peeled onion whkli isT sibyl
has stabbed with a poniard, regardless of
the innuendoes of the lilies of - amebas
hue." Thirty-eight teachers competed
for the prize, but not one was successibi.
't -f OR IA B t:4. sTil -.atiK
Danis at Heelipt
-41 low Ms WNW Pentads Iliad by
1110- 44 1,1064 iimpleviasat."
Limns IsmArre„ Verret ref HILL,
December IS, MM.
MMTIIIIR EDDITM7III:—Itts tack to me
shanty an' me Judy an' the byes I am, but
the divil rewire me if it's metielf that's
delited wid the fact. It's a warrum reap
shan an' a cowid wan besides I got. Whin
Illput me head in the cabin wid "Save all
here," it was Judy that shtnek o her tlahts
on her hips, an' sea she. •"So back yez are!
Faix yer carver's warrum Sir yes, ye
murdherinl villin. Shure there's niver a
bit av mate in the pot, or a handful av
male in the bag, or a purtaty in the car
ner, an' is it the tanneey yea have to get.
dinner wid lbr yersetf an' yer family, I'd
like to know?"
"Judy Aga," see I.
"None av yermulvather*ill red she ;
" have yea the intmney for the mate ?"
"Dlvii a cint,” sea I.
" Thin gitout,yezdhrtink.en gammoch,”
sez she, "an' never put yer ugly 'phis in
side the dhure till yes bring .in mate or
money," an' wid that she etan .aithur me
wid the brum, an' meat 41461 shtay to
see what she wanthid. -
Its to the ould place and t he i earner I
wint fast for consolayshun. Fax, its, a
dhrap ov the raal shtuff lull go Any com
fortinl this cowld marnin', " fez , whin
"Any have yea the mammy fdr that
same 41) sea me ould friend as runs the
"Divil a tint," sez I, "but we'll take a
dhrink on the ould party," sez .
" That's played out; irl sae he. " The
ould party isn't in the sicker bizneas so
much as it wuz, an' the sphondnlioks
I'm train now fur me W'hishlty," see he. •
"An' where'll Ibe gettin' them see L
" Wuritdr.!" sez he. " the airlier
ye go at it, my bye, the betthur fbr yes."
The curse av the crows on the tight
skinned timed; to be thratin' me so °War
cint whin it's meself had bin dbrinichil
be the wake in his place at the.lzpinse av
the party 1 But it wuz fur wurruk I wint,
and a weary tramp I had, an' it's hot it
I'll be flndin , it. It's too busy the girdle
min all wuz to sm me, though it wiz
willin' an' friendly enuff they wee before
illikshun. I wuz powerfully tired and
discouraged, whin I seen a 'gintieman av
me ackwintanoe sthandin be his dhure.
" The tap av the =main' to yer(hanner!"
sez I. "Its matey glad I am to see yer
good lukin' phis wanst more."
es in tte spz ha Ar.,_41,141. an' az,
" Shure an' its a real comfort to see a
friendly doe," sex
"Wat the dh4l7doryee t, many" sez
he *Malvin , like a ledi
"Shure," see •I,: "its w , ' yer harm
er, that I ne4F urndt jpol
`ice' flea jurtaties fur
the ould w dher."
"I've get no for yez," sed he.
-riu 101,41-,fibbvia l yer Nape of
coal " itwus ehtandin' lukin at
the 1 11111 r
"i r dat
44 he e
9 ull hire
see I, ful
is the rui
Untied art Ms
ruk I can
WANT= BMPLOYMNINT—By Nan
neowitonait work and
basii r odo.Can Mb! for to sti
hia a and worinons in those
WU* mom* Pan/ nialften; lIVI
no fairekor am Air kip services, Shey g
gone out of business: Apply to as
Lilt et Mote of reeesytesaile.
1 O'Flabarty, Little Ireland, under the VDII, or
by letter to this ones. doodle
' Plane Laski this for poor disthrened
bye an' send me tinny letters, yes = d r
me; an' the hkeein ev the sole»
and sorrowful be upon yes.
A writer in the Galaxy gives the follow
ing account of the sale of a . slave girl at
Charleston, S. C., twenty-five years ago:
Passing through the crowd in the direc
tion the driver had pointed, I found, seat
ed behind a board partition that screened
her from notice, a
. girl of some eighteen
years, engaged in sewing. To say that
she was beautiful would be faint praise.
An octoroon, under whose transparso
skin the veins radiated in lines of blue, and
whose cheeks showed that tint which in
contrast with dark..ll444l.eye ,s make the
race most beantictt _ •
figure, tapering ha 'ils and !het, and full
developed neck andniseulders, ever which
jet black tressesifiill in luxuriance—she was
indeed tropical in, her loveliness. She rose
from her seat as I spwl within the
screen, and bade me good morning. There
was no shrinking. A. slight blush seemed
to lighten the col or of her cheeks, but it
instantly disappeared, or was forgotten in
the graceful good breeding of her manner.
In dress—the simple morning calico of
that day—in air, bearing, and self-reliance,
as well as in tones of voice and powers of
conversation, she was a gentlewoman.
Indeed, she had been educated in schools
at the North under the expectation of
freedom and wealth but the will of her
father had been denied probate, and her
half-brother, in fact, though not in name,
held himself aloof from all recognition of
relationship. She knew that she was to
be sold, and had evidently made up her
mind to her fate.
Many of the young bloods of both town
and couphy had been drawn together by
the advertisement, and by the knowledge
of her history. Her apartmenthad been
a general rendezvous during the clay, and
the city was fttl:l of rumors of her beauty.
The auctioneer stated briedy the facts
already narrated of the girl ' s history, and
then sent far her to came out. The build
ing was thronged with men. As she as
cended the platform, assisted by the auc-,
tioneer, and walked toward the centre, a
murmur of surprise, mingled perbapaiyith
pity, ran through the crowd... A chair was,
placed for her to sit by the side df the aue-.
tioneer, who at once commenced the sale.
He gave ne description, She needed none.
As the bidding, begging at a thousand
dollars advanced. to three thousand or
more, I watched her fem. There were
no tears, no Ittrectation of grief, no shrink
ing from the ramie gamer in* her-eyes
turned from bidder to bidder trlth a* id=
her. fa y
CAS I MIM be a public swindler, and
t private stakeble4 swi yet ?
be an honest an in hie
A FIMPIAL in Chicago recently, cost
$557. An Rasters newspaper saps; *at
is more then the Feat de, divcres..
•111101111 I • • •
F,-- • r. ---- a. 7 7-1 . 7 - 1 - 7" - '
r ; own Isla s.begc mod timentrht hatleaktinost
etrikinlleilure of* " he
ever b e h e i nd . . r , 'v' . . . f) F.
—Spouse'. ennui across ateasethaother
day who is ao easservadvaehalwia refines
to take a partlealqr niediellealloileanes t it
promisee in tin**, „
—Some orie r- ;Ookinguf agatitadic
Yankee la4ent. to open a letow emit
house, said ho ;red they latfi l linto
"to view the nd' where theritist
shortly Ile." ";
—The wort D-F.-IXT, is oompeeed of
the initials of "Dun Every limey Twits.
The Word' C-11618-IM-T, ft Inrmed of the
initial letters of "Calt Regularly every
—"lin SW* I Wish to speak to you
privately. Permit me to take you apart
a lbw minutes." Smith, (Who wasn't
the least nightteep-- , vatithan sib if
you'll promise to Pot me together Waft"
—Josh Billhigs - osys: I vOleeki as soon
be a studied *t up in is show Win
dow, or a tin weather oock, .ridge
pile or a few& oesibuiry, as loam=
chelor, jeered at by awl-the virginity ors
—An editor becalne sad was
created Captain. Initistior 'Ora pares
in ikont—ndvaaaa be. ancawksisly
t out, "Cash—two donate& yenr—
—A eboymen advertises that alma
hie ether euriceities is the colebrokel
" difference'? which has been no often split
by bargein4nakere. He says he had both
hahme of it.
—A Vermont paper says an old lambs
lor on learning that numerous additions
ha& lately been made to the male peptise
tion of displace, and the ether sex, said it
was the inauguration of the new. Grant
doctrine, "Let us have pone."
fellow in an.oblivious state took up
hislodgings on the sidewalk. He woks
next mornlag, and straightened himself
up, looked on the ground upon which he
had made his couch, and said: " Well, if
I had a pick-axe I would take up my bed."
—Are you a skillful mechanic ?" "Yes,
sir." "What can you make ?" "Oh,
almost anything in my line." "Can you
make a devil "Certainly, Just put up
your foot, and .I will split it in three sec
onds. I never saw a chap in my life that
required less alteratkm."
—An exchange to is a story of a discon
solate widower, `Who, 'on wing the ...re
mains of hie late wife lowered - into the
grave, exclaimedwith Gears in hie eyes:
" Well, I've loot gloves— l've lost umbrei
las ; yes even cows and homes; but I
never—no, never—had anything,to cut me
—A clergyman was rebuked by a broth
er of the cloth, a few days ago, ihr smok
ing. The culprit repined that he used the
weed in moderation.
" What do you call moderation ?" in
quired ths other.
"y,sir," said the offender, "ono
cigar at a time."
—An Irish gentleman, residing in Co
mmis, was desirous to 'persuade bis sons to
work as backwoodsmen, histesd of drink
ing champagne at something more than a
dollar a bottle. Whenever this old gen
tleman sow his eons so engaged, he used
to exclaim: "AhOny Ixryit there gees an
acre of land, trees and all."
—A certain justice was called to the
jail to liberate a worthless debtor, by re
ceiving his oath that he Was not worth
" Well, 3'oTniny," said the justice, "san
you swear that you aro not worth twenty
tiollars, and that you :Weer will be?"
" Why 'I answered the other, rather
Chagrined at the queetien, I can swab
tha I am not IWO that at present' ,
" Well, well," retulfled the justice,
"I can swear to• the 'rest, so go along
Johnny." And the man was sworn and
—A SClumber, h t r. giving one bf
his pupils a sound, , drubbing!, for spealdng
bad grammar, meet him to the pther end
of the room:to inform another bojithat he
wished to speak to him, Med at the me
tiF u t t promised to repeat the dose he
to hjm ungrunatically. The ymtng
s r, being quite satisfied with , what he
timissatiolatebnined to be exact, and thus
a his fellow " el#llllloll
' of OW Pit4cruiliAlt:
' 3ll ' ' bef P 307 411 Ye',ease, malt an
an • auK4l l ,that s i ts peached upon. the
em !tenet at the ether end cd , the 'Ecioni4'
rhea to mirth:nista a fitersent!inoes tof7ou
th e teese. ” T
when plantern ware
he. the for the spiritual than for
tae .011'. '
health oL the .14, 1 ' cPI.
• , *X, • 9971 f *V)
r: • ' ' ngWabigr " t°
• wing thab.Dan, was ,riet
, strong literary preelitvitins,"the
, I said:
" W at t IWO * PM dbliktifith,that *Me,
te44,ltr , • A
NO. 441611411 h
,04411 qy read 7inu,,
but rein wall 'on oodritis."
" Moils the oss' ofspoiling it one 1 1
You cann- tinderiettiof 14. any *IT ' 4l l l llO
Bible, ter instinyi thee" the, Terl
hairs oeyodielidiit liernheted." IiToW
you' any ' ' hair on your 41104,-- .
nothijoginst wool. Whatdo yew saygda
that 7" " , lks;amisaiLLPsple," *lib V'
but oat Souriewommnorrolaten
dela, day de sham U t go on one side
and de Veda se de Now de
lutift e 7l . l4l4 jot hwy . , '
_as sew , an' 'spec' dey a n't gwine to
soy --404 what tl"
MIN & JACOON,
Ilig44 l ts / 1
SIL V lt
A - kti Sit "Entlitirgt•
SPIICTAGLiS FAxcr GOoDa,
N 0.1.5 N'!YETH (amp( STREET,
no rrisifinti 11."I‘Dlip
'WALT , OPlES!'wairons_
• CLOCKS, CLOCKS, "LOOKS.
The naderaliarmek eetuattatly of hand a
tweed tot to to the
GEM= ANZIIIKAPh WATOBIIB,
of t ol hrt t two, to sou allothlsli
Call and IMlNE l2l llol4lparobaatag
Thanhtal tottiriat Apromasitiok ti aeattan
aloe *Me ease. NW= F. ANDRIBIAre,
311 1 4•41,N 74-ttleffirsi_t_ll4lt
rrie OLD-PlEfir MUTUAL .
Low arsuAtANos 'dOMP ANY
After mini /mete t. lakemiasid at o.llNlik
CHART= 4 PIOVPIIMIAL.
All the Surplus imam! "woo (As AMOS
THIS. ONLYA e IkaXPANY IN
Peg feetiar fahroadea mart°
JOHN J. COMM^ M.
ma/4n P. 0., LLEMMIAT i Pa.
. • ;
el l i ti.
la i i
• E.+ 0 iII
. .k 4. t
1 14'.' •.i ; al
04 1 ° tf 1 1 —
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4 tOig II i
?4 IS bra` lal i
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imircOß.s gt ..1 i 1
A I 2 I a i
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V l4 4 14 .4 il '
WqR,LD MITTiT.AL LIP'S INS. Cll.
NO. 160 BROADWAY
J. P. YRUEAVFP, Gene* Agent fdr Penn'.
NORTE* QUZION STREET,
(Above A. W. Ion& & Sou' Drug store.)
Tr im =l4/01,ere finite SOX.DP and REAL
ind it arty other Life Incarnate
Compaq in the country.
Sea* Marra limenter.
Aouve woo tentale t .wanted ia
every to he Sta . tant"
3ftsictil instrumeiits, &c.
J • ,. KEVINSICI,
SOW MUSIC, PIANOE;; ORGANS,
As ,4 Muskat liaartonente Generally.
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