[ (',.per'ght applied rorl titnsnlbaniscb ritsrb. Bri4l !'u►► Sehliffletotrat SCaLIFFIA:ToWN, ull. 23, 1 i6ti 21.1suEr.F q)DER Nun A11.‘31 DRl'c —Deer ,ur: On letshta Somshdog owat lien no r amohl unser demokratisehe meet ing kaita doh im shteddle, un alles is first rate gout ah!zonga. Es k wohr, de meet ing war net Bons so gross we mer se expect hen, un awer se war &eh so-so—was me:: reshpeetable beast, for ich war dort, der Mose Wehwer, de Joonsa boowa, der Bill Kitzelmoyer un sein sehwter, der Porra Windidgler, der alt Richerly, der Fain Dinkop, 1:n !loch ornery. Der hampt moan awer war so an lawyer fun Read ingtown, do weasht, seller wu so iVV(q' 005 400 t Emglish schwetza kann. Er sheint noch an yunger mann zu sei, un do shenshty krolliche hohr hut er das ich iu meim dog un des leawas noch g'selma hab. Aceordiing zu was er g'sawt hut will er des shpoat-yohr amohl runny for so an emtly—ebbas full weaya Disdriet Addorney. We des ding amohl bekannt aemaild war das so Miner um de weg is, donn hen mer uns all bei gemacht, un, of course. keener hut rich tsweh mold froga lussa for elms nemma. Fier mold hut er gedreat, un mer hen elm dorm ,1,11 ail ' fershprocha nri zu gel for elm W:11111S amobl ors delegate le/Ant geht. Der Mose Weimer, den hen rimer Bres ident fun der weeding gemacht, un donn Ind amohl der I'orra Windbigler an fore sehlag gemayht so an demokratishe dahler society inakla, so of de art we,'s lloidel berg Brigade doh de roln•, nu das all de wu in favor derfore sin setta ehra nawtna in so an kleh Constitution biehly Ind schreirn. Uf course, mei vkabra es ach agrevd, un dorm hut anwhl der Porra des Welly ous em sock un awfonga le:tsa. Ich lab es awer net entirely fershtay kenna weils in English war. Ich lab (loch ousgernacht das ebbas drip is fun weaya (le ncayer, so (his se net unser demokratisehe !need no weiver heira kenna. Der lleadingtowner lawyer is down ufgeshtanna un hut amohl an ivver ous finey shpeech genutcht uf English, un doh gel) ich se rich so goot das ich kann, uu warm es ungefehr mistakes gebt dorm kennt er se selver corrects, for my lam ing in English is net yusht exactly so goot we se sei set—loch kann ich es hesser geh das my ally, de Bevvy, for se fershtayt ken wart except wane de leit uf em morrickt seals froga fun weaya dem price fun tswivvella un oyer un shtink-kase un so sacha. Awer now doh gehts for de shpeech : Now, chendlemen of der demograddick hardy, 1 dell you some dings mit der Gonshdidusion uf der niggers what marry our demograddick wifes un wimmin bib bles, on not uiggers nu black bibbles anyhow, un we don't go for niggers what sit on dop of der choory box, un shleep in our Leis, un eat up all in our dables, mi grit skit high laming in der shool house mit der shool masder what shpick E f:lish fun Chester county— left beim bettle nimmy geh for de Englishe warta sin so hart zu un awer ich kann de balance fun der shpeech in deitch govva. Er hut ach ousgelegt we das de black republicans uns unnich de neager du wells, uu de neager wella se obsolut hawa for uf de juries hucka un all unser sei, un shofe un hinkle shteala un dorm wella se es achso macha das de weise leit niminy shool halta kenna, awer yusht neager. Un noch elms, de maddadishda tin de duuker un monnicihda hen im sinn tsamma zu shtlidrirtir Buser freigireiir:el' - wick 'lemma un de constitution completely zu ruimniiniera, on sell shtanda mer beim deiheukcr net! Le ne s s:.'. woch wilt toll uochainohl shreivu, nn explaina we orrig shay us shrnart der Porra Windbigler de sacha ouslegt. `Vann ungefehr de Bevvy zu shpoat k imlnt mit dem brief for elm in tier Ittot 1,.y seining nei zu du, dean luss mich ea yasht wisatt so daa iekt en in de Posht Office net mails PIT tic aw EFFLKIIRENNER. the Bewonatruction. uzzi Bill Ju, Saw, geander war ich in der stadt tin seller long-behnich lawyer wu als so *. (icy demokratishe speecha maeht hu das net Xac',l V salt Sam—NVell, ts lilt or Ilonuz.Bawt BM— El si , tun \v„.aya (1, , r pal•ty nil de nea , ;er. S., wie ich elm fershtauaa ha') wella so prowiera zu fixa da.s MeV all uci to': (1.1! ueager. un ,uit 1 .1 net exaetlv. d:ch ebl)a.,3 du do —.ll\\ vota for walla :c douu evva 'publican: der (.rant' Bill—Weli, 2;0 ahead. Awe , : my opin ion is das mer lie lit be—wr Lif amohlf,r dor rant geh, for du '7lgrslit sigma das dr_! imager wu de demokrata jina sin yusht soddiche )CU net leasa odder schreiva itenna. in fun so shtuft hen mer alleweii shun zu feel in de party. Sam—Well now Bill, wanu du for Grant Bonn fzeli ich ach for der Grant! done, dui gehts—g&) vier de houd. Hurra for Grant • Sani—Doh is my hond—so sio• ioh ach —un now shreiva mer ach all tsweh for ,‘lly roushich Fodder Abra.haan'i Bill—Tfu now, farrywell demokrata! Sam —F ry wcll kupperkep ! Stkrill,. NA SLI Y. CONFEIIEY'I: AT THE CORNEII9—.IOII 137.1r.zn'..3 WAY Or Ilt.q.LD::l4 .1 `2I.ATFOII.3t AND Ll'.l FAIL URE. Poin. °rims. GOMPlinail! K.BAJABII, (R - ich I, In the Strait uv Klut•lokr,) June 6, l X6B. Wo lied a little consultashen at the Corners one day last week on the subjick uv a platform for the ensooin Nashnel Convensheu. We lied present, miuglin in sweet accord with us, a Democrat from Ingeany. one from Illinoy, one from Noo York, one from Connecticut, and oue from Pensylvany. Ez we wuz consultin—a sort uv feelm our way—Joe Binler came in. Ilopin to smooth the cuss down, I to-wunst iuterdoost him ez a Confedrit Roller, whereupon the North ern friends with less sense than I sposed men coed 'possess, sprung to their feet and shakiu him vocilerusly by the hand, ~w ore they were proud to meet him, and insistid on furnishin him with all the tlooids he coed consoom that nite any how. And they to-wunst made known the obji.k uv them beiu there and in vited him to join em. - -Certinly," sed Joseph, "certinly. Let me see how we will go at this thing. Yoo are from several different Staits, and it is barely possible that ther may be a slite difference uv opinion—not cilia to eggs cite any unpleasantuis, but still enull to kind o' mar the Zeneral onenis, the sweet harmony 11 V soles attooned in unison. Let ine sejest that the l'arson's hat be sot onto the table—Bascom, yoo cuss, wipe orf the likker that's spilled onto it —and that yoo write each on a slip the opinyons yoo hold and drop em in, that when they are took out and compared they may be filed down ez it were, and the sharp corners rasped off—that they may be sort uv amalgamated into one sweet smellin whole. Is it ago ?" They all agreed. Deekin Pogram, Elder Punt and Issaker Gavitt declined to jine in, for reasons obvus to all who knowd em, but Captain McPelter and I who kin rite represented the Corners. "Now," sed this Joseph winkin vish usly at Pollock, who had dropped in a minnit afore, "we will prepare our little opinyuns on the subjict uv 'The Nigger 1' " The entire bilin uv em wrote bizzy for fifteen minits, each droppin his Ineuhra shens into the hat ez he finished. "Mr. Pollock, will you extract these droppins uv wise minds and read em ?" "Certainly," sed Pollock. "Certainly. Here is the first." "I am opposed to extendin any rites to the Afriken becoz he is naterally inferior to the white—so inferior, indeed, that all the trainin and educashen that cood be squandered unto him wood not bring a fully matoored one up to the level uv an average white child uv 14. To give the ballot to sich wood be a dangerous per cedin, wich every lover uv liberty shood frown onto severely. "JETLIRO L. KIPPINS, uv "I am opposed to givin the Afrikin the ballot becoz when he hez it uv coorse he is eligible to orfis, and will ondoubt edly be selected to fill the most preemi nent posishens. Imagin Good Hevins I imagin nigger judges, nigger Congress men, nigger 'Representatives, nigger school teachers, and nigger Governors ! My Anglo-Saxon blood revolts. DENNIS 0 / SHAUGNESsY, uv New York." "Bully agin I" shouted Bigler ; but somehow the rest uv em didn't "bout "bully." They begun to look puzzled. Pollock pulled agin : "I am opposed to elevatin the nigger becoz there is a nateral repugnance, a heven-given, ineradicable conflict be tween the races. Thermtggerolith black skin, thick lips, kinky hair, and disgustin odor, eggcites loath n, contempt and Alcorn in the bosom uv every white, pertikerly uv the proud Caucashen fe male. Ther is a barrier between the races which nacher hez set up and wich cannot be scaled. Why attempt it ?" "Joriss Puma, uv Injeany." The gentleman from Ohio wanted to withdraw hizzen and revise it, but Big ler prevented him. "I agree with my esteemed friend Pepper," sed "ez to the disgustin characteristics uv the Afrikin and the nateral loathing wich mists in the bosom uv every wen-regu lated Caucashen. But I disagree with him ez to the impossibility uv the proud Caucashen aforesaid scalin it. Deekin, hez it ever been scaled in this vicinity. FATHER ABRAHAM. 0. M.- CHASE. Let not eko, hut the hundreds of yaller niggers in these parts auser. Pollock, go on :" `•I am opposed to elevatin the nigger for the reason that if ouct releesed from the disabilities the law imposes, he at once becomes our ekal. Wat follows ? Do we want niggers for our sons-in-law ? Do we hanker after female niggers for our daughters-in-law ? Wood any proud Caucashen want a nigger woman for a step-mother ? I demand, not only the continvooance uv the laws we have agin marryin niggers, but more stringenter ones. I call upon my common country to pertect us from nigger ekality. SETiI katWHY, UV Ohio." 'Spoken like a man and a Demokrat, ez you air," ped Bigler. "Here is an other and a potent reason agin givin the nitger his rites. They grow on our hands. Let us keep the run uv em. First, ez he is so much below us he can't be educat ed. Second, we must prevent I.:m from bein educated, for fear uv his being our ekal. Third, nacher made him too dis gustin to approach us. Fourth, we must hey laws to prevent us from marryin him. Here is richness indeed. Go on Pollock— go on." "•I pertest agin this, said I, seeing to where this insane cuss wuz leading us. "I pertest agin continyooin this any farther." "Not a bit uv noose, Parson. There are several other opinions in the * hat, wich we will hey. Pull em, Pollock." And Pollock pulled em "I, ez a citizen uv Connecticut. am op posed to givin the nigger rites in that state, becoz, incapable ez he is of intelli gent labor, naterally indolent, careless, antrtustientreiglre ktfilleVer be made to work save when forced to do it ez a slave. He wood come north in droves and fill our almshouses and jails, and be too heavy a burden for our over taxed people. 4 4 ZEPRANIA SCVDDER, uv Connecticut." "Perceed Pollock," sed Bigler. "I stand opposed to conferriu rites upon the Afrikin, becos, hevin alluz been accustomed to labor, and bein uv a naturally docile disposhisen, percisely the material uv wich to make labrers, he wood overrun the north seekin suthin to do, and ez he wood gladly work at less wages than the proud Caucashen labrer, he wood drive them out uv employment and into the almshouses and jails. "P. YEAGER uv Pennsylvany.": Pollock turner l'art — voclr erously and uproariouslY, and the others lookt ez uncomfortable oz men cood. It bed gone too fur already, and I seezed !my hat and emptied wat remained onto the floor. "Sir !" sed I, lookin Bigler thro and thro, "voor conduct is reprehensible in the extreme. Yoo come here, air, ez a disturber, ez a maker of mischeef, ez a destroyer of peace, and—" "Easy Parson, easy, or I may possibly forget the consideraskun doo yoor and choke yoo a trite. The fact is, my friend Pollock and I wuz actooated by the highest possible motives, wuzn't we, Pollock ?" Wretc . "We felt that it wuz nessary that suthin be agreed upon in this nigger question. It's bin a tough thing to hbn dle ever sense 1 knowd anything about it; and I wantid to harmonize our views and put em in a shape to meet and anser the objeckshuns uv our common foe— the Ablishniets. I confess I wuz disap pointed. There are 'reasons enuf for de privin the nigger uv rites, but somehow the • don'thark! • t • ofte • ether. Thus, I've ; • airc Tat • " grattEC em becoz they're km emeerally uv be in eddikated—enot demands laws ther bein eddikated, becoa, of theyV given half a chance, they'll take all t e offices in the gift uv the people—another, becoz they're so disgustinly made by nacher ez to eggecite Foathin and disgust —another, becoz, of they hey this one EXPEDIENCY VERSUS CONSISTENCY. OLD MOTHER DEMOCRACY IN A FIX. " It's an awful do3e, buf I will have to take it, or else give up the privilege, laws will' be required to keep our wimmen from marryin uv em other, he's forced to—and still enother, becoz he is so naterally adapted to work that he'll uuderwork the whites, and set them adrift. Among all these reasons, he wood be hard to soot, indeed, who coodu't Tied one that wood do him. But somehow they're tangled ; one mind' can't take.em all in. They don't seem to jibe, and in attemptiu to sort uv re concile and arrange eisi in logical order, and get ein to dove-tail together, I,m all tore up, and so is Poilock. I wuz pleased with the first, third and fifth reasons, but, alas ! the second, fourth, and sixth upsot em. Ef I tie to the second, fourth, and sixth, I am confronted with the first, third and fifth, and ez they are all A 1 Dimoctisy, what is l'olipek and me to do ? Reely, we are at sea without rud der or eon pass, and witless 0:mood, may float into the harbor uv Ablishnism, wich, not heviu but one idea, is easily comprehended. I must sleep on this, mid ez it is time that we seek our vir chus couches, Bascom will shet up." And the qiiss .turned .us out, ands saw that .13ascorWlocired this,. doors befoite he left. Suthin will yet happen to this Bigler. PETROLEUM V. NASBY, P. V., Mich iv Postmailker.) __ Marriage Notices. FRONT 0118 XXCEIAN(II4B Moor—Moons.—+On the Ist, Mr. Wm Moore to Miss Maria Moore. The happiness they will enjoy Is great, beyond degree— „But Jana they havo.tatait- .fir,” 0, won't it greater be ?" NEILL--..TEIR.-Ou the 3d, by Rev. Mr. Splicer, Mr. Thomas Neill to Miss Mary 'Fier. A sad event, we rather fear, She turned to kneel, and dropped a tear. Wut9atr--liitroc.-6.0n the gth, by the Rev Mr. Seals, Henry Wright to Miss Orila Buck The parson seals theii fate—'tis very clear, She's right for once—fhe buck has got his dear Coss—Wasain the 6th, Mr. P. T Cobb to Miss Kate'Webb. A grin old fool,.toko • sits nowust beside us, Says in our ear, ".1.419k our for iittle spiders." Borre—Bisieool.--On the 4th, by the Rev Mr. T. B. Tyer, ME. O. U. Botts to Miss X. e the,' t • mg's il t ments Pill ,•. tew. ;' The Chnrch in not exnmpt it seem,— A Bishofes tot the Botts. STEnny-Crituirl—On the Bth= inst., T. 0. P. Steed to Miss Q. T. Curry. Said Brown, "Tom Steed's so very small, I fear he Wit?' tie flurried." " Oh, no r ",sahl 4ones, " a steed's a horse, And a short one is soon curried." —" A - backwatil spring" is produced by presePtiug a reti•ket poker at a man's nose. A. J. QOM AMMER A A #1 —"My Dear Ellen," said a youne , man, I have long wished for this sweet oppor tunity, but I hardly dare trust myself to speak the deep emotions of my heart ; but I declare to you my dear Ellen, that I love you most tenderly. You• smiles would shed—would shed --would shed'— "Never mind the wood shed," said dear Ellen, but 'go on with your pretty talk." —A gentleman traveling in the coun try, rode up to a farm house and accosted a tow-headed urchin seated on a gate post, with, " Bub, where's your pa ?" " Pap's just gone there beyant the old cow-shed to dig a grave to bury our doe. Towser. The old fool killed hisself a barkin' at candidates for District Attor ney. Be you one'?" Our friend rode on. —" Brudder Jones, can you tell me do difference twcne dicing and dietinw.•' " Why, oh course I can, Lemuel. When you diet you lib on noun, and when you die, you hab nofin to lib on." `• Well date different to what I trot it was ; I trot it was a race atwene the doctor stmt . and starvashuu, to see which 'tid kill fust." —Au old Jew, while indulging in a morsel of forbidden food, was overtaken by a terrible thunder storm, and as the thunder roared and the lightning, flashed around, he cried—‘Plesh my soul, vet a pother about a leetle bit of Bork." —A cross old bachelor says " the rea son why women do not cut themselves in two ✓ by tight lacing is because they lace around the heart, and that is so hard they cannot affect it." The brute —An Irishman who had lain sick a long time, was ona day met by the par ish priest, when the following conversa tion took place : " Well, Patrick, I am glad you have recovered—but were you not afraid to meet your God " Och, no, your riverance, it was the meetin' of the other chap I was afeared uv," re plied Pat. " —Doctor, I want you to proscribe for me." The doctor felt her pulse. " There is nothing the matter, madam ; you only need rest." " Now, doctor, just look at my tongue. Just look at it : look at it now. Say, what does it mean ?'' I think," replied the doctor, " that it needs rest, too." —An Edinburg physician, having or dered a blister to be put On a patient's chest, called to inquire what had been the effect. Oh !" replied the brother of the invalid, " we had no chest to put the blister on : but we put it on a band box, and George is well enough." "Well, well," answered the doctor with a grin, " that's all right if he's better." —An old Indian who had witnessed the sale of whiskey for many years, said a barrel of whiskey contained a thousand songs and fifty tights. —A Canadian Dutchman being advised to rub his limbs with brandy for the rheumatism, said he had heard of the remedy, but added : •' I (lush better as dat I drinks de brandy, and den I rub my leg mit de bottle." —The men hold the reins, the women generally tell them which way they must drive. —An Irishman said, "No printer should publish a death unless informed of the fact by the party deceased." —A new name for a seamstress : Miss Sew and Sew. —To prevent your hair from coming out—never let your wife catch you kiss ing the servant girl. " What are you writing such a big hand for, Pat ?" " Why, you see, my grand mother is dale, and I'm writin a loud letther to her." Why is kissing a girl like eating soup with a fork? Because you can't get enough. —Why is a spider a good correspond ent ? Because he drops a line by every post. —A person had such a cold iu his head that he cannot wash his face without freezing the water. —What is the difference between a man with the rheumatism and the upper story of a house ? One is a rheum-atic ; the other an attic-room. —" She only wore a single rose," ac cording to the old song. Rather a light costume. Wind wasn't probably due east that day. —"Give the devil his due," said our imp, the other evening, as he lay under the trees in the Court House yard, with a mist falling. —A countryman going to market with a load of pork was met by a young girl, who made him a low courtesy, when he exclaimed: " What ! do you make a courtesy to dead hogs ?" "No, sir," answered the girl, " to a live one." —Drawing lessons—Three nights with a Poor Man's Plaster. —A man of ample means—one of large I proportions. r Special Artist.] II 0
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers