Advertising Rates. Legal Notioes. The following prices foi legal adver.ls 02 Ixu hi-eii adopted bv the CAKDOM AnvooATB. Charter Notlew - - U 00 Auditor's Notioes - - - - 00 Commissioner's Notioes - - 00 Divorce Notices - - - 00 Administrator's Notices - jj 00 Executor's Notice - - - - 3 oo Other legaladvertlslng will bo charged for by the square. H. V. Horthlraer, Jr.. Publisher. ' Weissport Mm Directory. TTilUNKLIN HOUSE, EAST WKlSSronT, FKNN'A. This house offers urst-class accommodations to the permaneut boarder ana transient guns. Tanlo prices, only One Dollar lcr day. augMy John ltRimto, Proprietor. Oscar Cliristman, WEISS I'OttT, PA. Livery and- Exchanqe Stables. -..rirtrHffftftrrlaiteand sale drivlna horses. nest accommodations to agents and travellers. . . . ..., ...nn,ntlvattf.l1r1pd JV Mall ana icicgrapu utuoia -- Give me a trial. mav21-ly Tho - Weiaaport - Bakery, c. vr. LAunv. proprietor. Delivers Fresh Bread and . m In Weissport. In the store I have a Fine I.lno ol Confectionery It t he noMay Trade. Sunday schools aiullcs 7vals supplied at lowest prices, decern. R. S. HONGBTM, OOCKSSOn TO CltAJlI-KS BCnWKITZKU, Near tho Canal Bridge, In Is prepared to do all kinds ot Blacksmithjng and Horse-Shoeing, Tbtnwnable Trices. TltlE SETTING A BPECtALTY. Also, Agent lor the P. P. Mast Road Cart, .k nho.iiwst and Best on tho market. feb2-yl Mnnaito flip CARRIAGES ! Henry Christmah at Tit it Fort Allen House, Weissport, Sells tho Popular and Celebrated Burlington O and O York SIHSIiS AOT lOtJBLB OABBUOES At prices that are considerably less than compe tition. I have all slyics ana quinines 1 ' which I wish von would not fail to Inspect before making purchases. mayll-sm APPLES POTATOES . Received in Car Load Lots al most every week at O. J. Saeger's East Weissport, Pa. Store-keepers, Hucksters and all others can save money by mak ing purchases of him. Other triiita in season. Call or write ibr prices, Dead Men Tell NO TaleS WE'RE ALIVE. Our Story's Short. We have'nt cot the UIGGES T STOCK of Drv Goods. Groceries, Provis- . ions, Notions, Boots and hoes,Tobaccq, Cigars. &c, &c, &c, In the Lehigh Valley, but we have "an Elegant Assortment iust the same, and the prices are marked way down below the great majority of ur competitors, and that's what suits you be muse QUALITV is tho BEST and the ntlOES are always JUST IUUIIT. our siock is entire' lv New. Fresh. Clean, Completoiuid Handsome so wo take pleasure In asking tho people of Weissport and the surrounding community to call and Inspect our assortment of general store goods. Kespectlvely, A. W. MARSH, Post-Oflicp. Weissport. Pa Over Canal Brie E. Weissport. UNDERTAKER AND DEALER IN FURNITURE, PARLOR SUITES, BED ROOM SUITES, ., c. Prices the very lowest. Quality of coods the best. Satisfaction guaranteed in every particular. Oask&t.s, OofHns and Shrouds We have a full Hn which we will I qrnlsh i le lowest possiuie prices. Flour, Peed, &c, Of the choicest quality at very reasonable prices Call and be couvtaceu. JOSEPH F. REX, Aprll ty EAST WEISSPORT AT. PAMDRP.T.I. .A 1 J, V X Jl. -LTJL. A S J J4 X J J-l J Jeweler and Watcliiiiato, Bank Street, Lehighton, Rmna Sespectfnlly invites the attention of his friends anovne citizens Kuiitrmny m tit uuiudum new stock el Watches, Clocks, Silverware, Jewely, t Prices that defy competition. It will pay yon o oall aud luspeol my slock before purchasing eisewnere. HBPAIHING Promptly done at lowest charge, and all work ruaranteed. Don't Forest the Place. SIGN OF THE BIO WATCH, Bank St Lehigh tea. Joseph F. Rex; $1.00 a Year in Advance. VOL. XVIII.. No 11 RHEUffSflATBSK. For Mere than Twenty-live Year. A Cam- plete Ilecovery. The Means Used. I had Inflammatory Hheumatlm. For nearly a year I bad to bo fed and turned In bed. I could find no relief. Mr stomach was ruined and cut to pieces with powerful medicines taken to effect a cure ao thai I was compelled to lira on bread and water. I offered for twenty-Are years In thta way. I was In. dnced to try Dr. David Kennedy's FaroriU Remedy, made at Bondout, N. T and I Am Now Well, thanks to this medicine. Dr. Kennedy's Favorite Remedy is my best friend. With It I am enabled to enjoy a Rood night's rest. Alio food, anch aa meat and pastry, which I hae been deprlvod of for rears, showing that the Favorite Remedy baa no equal for the cure ot Indication and Dyspepsia as well. If any should donbt this statement I will Bend the ready proof at once. Garrett Lansing, Troy, N. T. It la my rleasure and absolute doty toward those who an etrmfltllnir for verr life against the deadly Diseases of tho Kidneys to add my testimony to the already welghtr evi dence of the wonderful efficacy of Dr. David Kenne- dr"s Favorite Remedy. Mr wife was a hopeless caao. abandoned by thephrslclans. Dr David Kennedy's raTorlte Remedr was resorted toi not because anr hops was placed in it, but because nothing else re mained, All meana and medicines had been tested without avalL The effect was little short of mira cle. At the second bottle the had regained strength, and continuing the treatment has fully recovered. Jay Sweet. Albany, N. T. Or, Kennedy's Favorite Remedy 4 rsjarou uy DR. DAV- KENNEDY, HONDOUT, N. Y dp- ott'e Blx forts, fir all drnewWa Coughing IS Nature's effort to expel foreign sub stances from the bronchial passages. Frequently, this causes Inflammation and the need of an anodyne. No other expectorant or anodyne Is equal to Ayer's unerry i-eciorni. n assists Nature in ejecting the mucus, allays Irritation, induces repose, and Is the most popular of all cough cures. "Of the many preparations before tho public for tno cure 01 coius, cougus, bronchitis, and kindred diseases, there is none, within the range of my experi ence, so reliable as Ayer's Cherry Pec toral, for years i was suuject io conn, followed by terrible coughs. About four years ago, when so afflicted, I was ad vised to try Ayer's Cherry Pectoral and to lay all other remedies aside. I did so, and within a week was well of my cold and cough. Since then I have always kept tills preparation in the House, ana reel comparatively euuru. Mrs. L. It. Brown, Denmark, Miss. "A few vears asro I took a severe cold which affected my lungs. I had a ter rible cough, anil passea nignt auer night without sleep. Tho doctors gave me up. I tried Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, which relieved my lungs, Induced sleep, and afforded the rest necessary for the recovery of my strength. By the con tinual use oi me .reciurui, iieriiiaucit. cure was effected." Horace Fairbrothor, Rockingham, Vt. Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, riUFAMtO BT Dr. J. C. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass. Bold by ell Drnggltta, Price tl; six bottles, $5. Horse Doctor, (Honorary Graduate of Ontario Vet. College.) Ole; Carbon House BanK SL Lenibto CASTRATION, DENTISTRY ANU- Diseases of Horse and Cattle SUCCESSEULLY TREATED. Special and Particular Attention paid to LAMENESS r- SPAVINS Splints, Ringbone, Hoofbound And all diseases prevalent among DomeM'catei His Horse and Cattle Powders sold b bin olf and stores generally. nsultatlon Free Charges Moderate. Ca Is bytelegranh and telephone promptly at att n.iuU lu Operations Skillfully l'erfoymeil New Liver, li-'ed Store AT PAOVER TON. LEOr-OLD ME VERS reipe nfuliv luforms tin people of Tackerton and --iclnity that he has Jus opeued a LIVEUY BTAULE ou BEAVER St where poisons can be supplied with Good.Saf' Teams either for Funeral, Wedding or for Haul UK ruiposes at very Lowesi nates, in conuei l,m therewith he litis also In itoek the verv bes Drarns oi ruiuii anil i iiiiu, iviucn ue wu ser 41 lowest i rices. Attention, Builders! The underslirned is stluworklne the DOL( HiONis iJUAiiuv, anu is preparen io supply, n snoriosi notice aim hi invest iticps. uerson who desire with OOOl) HiONEfor HUII.DIM l'lnil'OSliM. can and in oect the ritones mih learn 1'rlces lefore purcliaslne elsewhere. LEOPOLD MEYERS, tebj-ly Packerton, Ta. KISTLER Resectfullv announces to tho nnhlln it. ir lin l opened aNEW LIVEUY STAULE, and that he I ow oreparen to iurnisu Teams for runeial Wcddlnirsor Huslness Trlnn nn tlm Mhnrtpr i. los and most liberal terms. Orders left at 111 Carooii lfoue" will receive prompt attention. STAB LBS ON NORTH 8TBEET. lext the Hotel, Lehlshton. lan22iA- SHOEMAKER'S Horse aiCattle Ro. Joshua Shoemaker, Proprietoi CHERUYVII.LE, P. O.. Northampton co. DIUKOTIONS-l'oru horse, ItiiblesprKinful.twi or three limes a vfM.k! wlion Ufir ,-iib spoonsful a day. For a Cow, 1 teaspoonlu twiceaWaek; when sick, twice a day. Tin same for Hous. Por Poultry mix with teed. . .J3?? ",,T(ler 'Prepared after the reclpi of the late Dr. 1L n. Wtls.m. umi I. n.- .....,,!,. article . Ovvuers f above named animals shouu. nine uuuci Stoves, Tinware, Heaters and Ranges, In treat Variety at L D. J. Samuel GRAVBu'shlfiJ! Popular Store, Bank Street, Roofing and Spouting a special ty. &tove ropaira ruiniBhed on nort notice. IiwsKH5aWi She Cardan iHtntt . , ,,. ...I i . . . ' . A SOUTHERN LOVE STORY. Tho Eckly plantation lies near Camp- boll's Bond, on the Arkansas side of tho Mississippi river. Old Mnj. Eckly. tho owner of tho plantation, lias, in many respects, tho unstrung liberality of tho ideal planter, yet in other respects ho Is prejudiced and narrowly self-opinion ated. Zalic, the major's daughter, was re garded as tho handsomest girl of a com munity in which handsome girls were uot rare. Slio had made an impression upon the brilliant social life of Now Or leans, and had received oilers of mar riage from many well known men, but had refused them. The truth is, she loved a man named Bicklcs, a young fellow without fortune, without pros pects, and, worse still, without particu lar industry. Dickies was bright and pleasingly hu morous; hoatold amusing stories In a lazy sort of way which was of itself at tractive, and the old major was exceed ingly friendly towurd him until Bickles one day began to speak of Zalie. Ole told tho old major of hia great lovo for her. Tho old man turned upon him with fury. "Why, confound your Impudent hide, get out of my house," tho major yelled. "Get out! Don t stop to say a word. 1 could tolerate you so long as I supposed you to be Bimply an amusing pauper, but, finding that you are nursing a de sign against my my get out, I tell you." "Wait a minute, major, you will sure ly give me a chance to defend myself," "No, I won t, shouted the minor. "I don't wnnt to see my daughter married to a man that is not able to take care of her. You havo no money, sir." "Won't need much money. Wo could II vo here with you." "Oh, you could, you trifling rascal," "Yes, could live here very comforta bly. I could take charge of tho planta tion, aud could relieve you of great deal of trouble," "Oh, yes; I'vo no doubt that you could relievo mo of everything I've got." "Your daughter loves me, and I prom ise to-work faithfully, if you give your consent, but If you don't I will run away with her without making any promise at ail." Ob, is that a fact?" tho old man sar castically rejoined. "Run away with her, eh? All right. I will follow along and seek an early opportunity of filling your hide so full of holes that it wouldn't hold wheat straw. Loves you, does she': Ah, ha, loves youl Well, now I'll call her, and you may start to run away with her right at once. Better roll up youi breeches before you start. Loves you. does she?" Yes, I do." Tho girl stepped out upon the veranda. The old major turned angrily upon her. "Yes, I do," she repeated, "but I will not marry him without your consent For gracious sake, don't Bay anything more, for here comes Oen, Griddleton,'' Bickles withdrew. Qcn. Griddleton an old fellow with a pompous air ant broken veins in his face, dismounted a the gate. Ho and the major were tin warmest of friends. For each other sake they were heroically self-sacrificing they would fight for each other, and, n' poker, they had often won each other": money. "Ah, good morning, general." "Ah, major, good morning," "Beautiful weather, general." "Major, magnificent." This form of greeting changed oah with the weather, and people who wer. accustomed to see tho two old men mee each other hud long since ceased to smilt at their ludicrous gallantry, so familial had tho system of salutation become. "Zalie, said the major, "go in tin house, I have something particular t say to the general. What do you think?' he added, when the girl had withdrawn "that infernal Bickles wants to mam my daughter." The trilling rascal!" the general ex claimed. And ho "swears," the major contin ued, "that if I don't give my consent lu will run away with her." Oh, tho venomous woifr the gen eral cried. "Ho is a pauper," said the major, "And a wretch," declared the general "General, you have always stood bj me. "And I always will." "Glvo me your hand." They shook hands, and then entered into the close and absorbing communion of a game of poker. . A few weeks later the major and the general went down to New Orleans, and, as they were returning on a steamboat, the general suddenly exclaimed: By George, major, yonder is a man who did me a favor in Havana. Yes," gaiing intently, "that is Victor Dinzo- los, one of the most prominent planters in Cuba, lie a coming this way." The general advanced to meet the Cuban, who came walking with an easy, graceful swing down the cabin, bowed, made an open arm gesture and said: "Pardon me if I made a mistake, but Is not this the Hon. Victor Dinzolas?" The Cuban, after a moment's reflec tion, recognized the general, and with graceful heartiness seized his hand When the major had been Introduced. the party withdrew to the bar. Dinzolar was not an ill looking man; lie wort enormous black whiskers and long hair and spoke English easily, but with a slight Spanish accent. After several rounds' at the bar, the general proposed a game of poker. No objec lions were raised; the Cuban was ac commodating. They went to a private apartment, and were soon deep in tht thrilling anxiety of the "great American pastime," From the very first Dinzolas bgan to win, Tho major snorted and the general fumed, but the Cuban, un disturbed, continued to rake In the money. It must havo been nearly daylight when the majcr shoved back hia chair anu bam; "I'm broke." "So am I," the general took eeeosion to remark. "I am very sorry, gentlemen," the Cuban declared, "for I have just begun to get interested in the game. Have you "As I nave often been compelled to remark, nave nothing left except my plantation, my soul and my daughter." "Ah," said the Cuban, "and would you like to put up one of thtm the plantation or the daughter?" "Sir I" exclaimed the major, springing to his feet, "what do you meanr en, w'twi Timerjm Hum INDEPENDENT " Lohighton, Carbon County, Fonna. January 25, more respect tor my tnena, tne general, than to insult his friend. I onr.o won a young lady pleaso be seated, major; don't be excited, for I assuro you that I mean no insult." "Major, hear what ho's got to say," the general interposed. The major sat down; tho Cuban con tinued : "Once, fn the city of Mexico, I played for a gentleman's daughter and won her Au agreement was drawn up, reading about this way: 'I agree to give tht bearer my daughter so-and-so, provided ho can gain her consent,' I won tho pa per bearing these words, but in truth did not win the girl, Slio spurned me Perhaps I should be mora fortunate on other time." "Will youxcu8o the major and mo il wo request a privato interview?" tht general asked, addressing Victor Dinzo las. "Most assuredly; I will withdraw." "Don't this beat anything you ovei heard of," said the major when the Cu ban had withdrawn. "Rather peculiar, I must say, but let mo tell you, I see good in It, Agree tc his proposal put up Zalie." "General, do you take me for an infer nal barbarian?" "Oh, no. Now, if you put-up youi daughter and lose her, this Cuban might come around, and well, lie might scan the lifo out of Bickles.1' Tho major fclapped tho general on tht shoulder. "You are tho smartest man In tin world, general. Call that half niggei looking fellow." j The Cuban resumed his place, put uj $1,000 against Zalio and won, Shorth afterwards tho boat landed at Campbell', Bend. One afternoon, several days lator, the major and the gcf.ei&l sat on the veran da overlooking tho broad field of cotton "Major, is Bickles still hangint around?" "He was here yesterday, but left some what downcast, as Zalie positively re tused to marry him without my consent Vho is - that comiijg through the bit ,'ate? By gracious, it's that interna; Cuban." "That's who it is." "Confound my fool hide. I wieh 1 hadn't done that caper. I wouldn't havi doueit if I hadn't been half drunk. Now thats a nice piece of paper he's got. Wish Bickles was here. I'd soon havt them chewing each other, I don't knon what to do." Zalio came out on tho veranda. "Oh, who is that?" she asked. The Cuban had dismounted at the yard ate. "Oh, but doesn't he look like a hero oi -i novel!" "Zalie," thundered the major, "go into the house." The girl obeyed. The Cuban came ut cho steps. '"All, general, glad to see you again and the major, I hope he has not forgot .en mo." "No," said the major; "sit down." JThe Cuban took a seat and began t .'an himself with his broad brimmed hat. Tho major snorted; the general hem- Jied and hawed. "Ah," said the Cuban, "is Miss Mist -let me seo (examining tho,paper);,ah. .Iis3 Zalie. Is she at home?" "Look here," said tho major; "I want .'ou to understand that my daughter it lot a slave." "Oh, certain?, I understand that, but .he is mine if I can win her. This pa jer" "Hang the paper!" "But, as a gentleman, you cannot, oh .rive me a word here, cannot repudiate." "That's a fact," the major admitted. "Will you call her?" The major's face grew livid with rage, Dut he called Zalie. She came out, anu when the Cuban was presented she jowed with charming grace. "A very handsome girl," said the Cu ban. "She has many tine points." "Sir," thundered the major, springing to his feet. "No offense. Will my friend, the general, explain the object of my visit?' "I will," the general answered, "but would first like to send for a friend of mine, Mr, Bickles." "My time is limited. Will the general -xplain?" The general explained; the girl listened with deep interest. "Oh, how roman tic," she said, "how charmingly uncom mon! Sir," extending her hand toward tho Cuban, "I'll go with you." "What!" the major roared, "go with this barbarian? No, not if he had fifty plantations. "A contract, signed by a gentleman," tho Cuban said, "is a document of honor." Tho major sat down. "You aro right,' ho 6oid, "you are right, but I don't un derstand my daughter, don't understand her. I thought she was a woman of pride, but I don't understand her." "I do," said the Cuban. He snatched off his false whiskers and long hair, re vealing the familiar features of Bickles. Tho major snorted like a frightened horse. For several moments ho could say nothing. Then he turned upon the general. "You old old" ' "Hold on, major," said the general, laughing. "Hero is the money the Cuban won from you on the boat." The major took the money and, tuck ing it into his vest pocket, remarked: "Bicules, you ve got more sense than I thought you had, and I reckon I'll have to stand by my contract." Opio P. Bead in Milwaukee Sentinel. MEN YOU HEAR OF. "Le Boy from Brum" is what The Re vue des Deux Mondes calls Mr. Joseph Chamberlain. Henry M. Stanley, the African explor er, is 40 years old. He was born near Denbigh, Wales, The new lord mayor of London has a baritone voice, is an excellent musician and sings a capital song. Senator Quay's only recreation lies in novel reading. He is very foBd of Field Ing, Dlokens, Bulwer and Thackeray. Edgar Allan Poe, captain of the Priuoa- ton football team, bears a striking re semblance to the poet whose name he bears. - Mr. justice Miller, of the tupremt court of the United States, Is a man of the simplest tastes and most unostenta tious habits. . Inventor ICeely looks old. H has chtnged a great deal in appearance dur ing tne last five years, and bis hair has turned wuite. Martin F. Tuppe r. in his later years, oore to great a resemblance to Loner! low. it is stated, that he was mora thca exea Mistaken for the Amuitaa ?t. Live and Let Live." BURDETTE'8 PHILOSOPHY. TIU BOUT OF A MAN IIB IS. "What is an agnostic?" asked Itollo, who was reading something by Huxley. 'An agnostic," replied hia Uncle George, "la a man who loudly de res that ho knows nothing, and gets mSTand abuses you if you beliovo htm. He says he doesn't know anything, but he really be lieves ho knows everything." SOUNDS REASONABLE. "What is the great cause of baldness?" asked the man in tho chair. And tho barber said, "Hair die," and kept on shaving. IT IS CONTAaiOUS. "They say," remarked tho home mis sionary from Dakota, "that the brake- men on the New York elevated railroads are the rudeBt and most impolite men in the world." "Yes," said tho resident parson with a sigh, "I believe they are, but you wouldn't wonder at it if you saw the passengers they are thrown in con tact with." Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle. A FMtlcal I-alr. Belby What a charming couple Mr, and. Mr. Dollboy are! Parlrer Yes, but I should hardly call them ft couple they are so small, you know." Selby What would you call them, then? Parker Why, a couplet, of course. Burlington Free Press. Justifiable Envy. Managing Editor You say here that you have cultivated hot houso lilac bushes that have attained a height of over fifty feet? Horticultural Editor Yes, why? Managing Editor (musingly) Nothing, only I wish I could lilac that, Texas Sittings. Bsoutjh to Soil Anybody's Fo. Jeweler (to a watch In process of re pair) Why don't you keep your face clean? Watch You couldn't keep your's clean if, a pair of black hands were con tinually being passed over it. Jowoler's Weekly. Timely Assistant. NO. L Excited Party In Seventh Story- Help! Helpl ho. n. Policeman (after having climbed sevei flights of stairs) Did you call for help? Seventh Floor Resident Yes; will yot pleaso hold this stovepipe while I shovt the stove under? Smith, Gray & Co.'t Monthly. Uka Father, Like Son. Funny Man's Little Boy May I leave the room, teacher? Teacher Why do you want to leave the room? F. M. L. B. 'Cause I can't take it with me, ' course I Lawrence Ameri can. Going Into a Decline. Blood good I am sorry to hear that Miss Travis Is going into a decline. De Smith You bet she Is! She has mittened four fellows within the lost three months, to my certain knowledge. Burlington Free Press.- Tore at Habit. Mr, Bullion Bag (te Count Spaghetti, about to marry bis .daughter) See here, count, let me give you a tip. Count Spaghetti (holding out his hand) Ban you, sare. Uio. Throad ot a Narrative. Bqueers What sort of thread do you bookbinders use in binding books? Pookbinder The thread of a narra tive, of course. Lawrence American. The Moving Cans. Little Freddy (looking at tho type writer In his father's sfSoe) What makes typewriters go, papal Papa Your mother. Time. Jlmmta. Kin cMSdran did bis mother bar Unttlbawentto skate ; Now he hu mat a watery crave, Aad hia toother has but debt -Judge. Charles Colby, the new president of th Canadian privy council, was born In the united States. He is the first native of tho United States to enter a Dominion cabinet. Tho Hon. Allain Eustis, vice consul of Brazil at New Orleans, received the dac oration of the Order of the Rose from Emperor Dora Pedro, just before the overthrow of the monarchy. Thomas J. Powers, tho new naval officer at Philadelphia, is said to look eojnuch like Thomas B. Reed that he was repeat, odly mistaken for the Mais congVaati man in Washington reetatty. llvHI H 51 E , ri I 1890. . - OUR OLD 8LIPPER3. Tkeyara broadened, and flattened, and dingy, anu Dron, And the trimmings an cone, and tli heels are run down: They are awkward, mlsshspen, and ugly to aee, win iney ro easy ana comrortAl.lo jli tiey can b. When our shoes hurt our foot, and la anirulth wa groan After walking all day on tho hard sldewalk'a stone. When we get to our own little sanctum again, How delightful to put on those old slippers then I Though the hecLi aro departed, and leveled down flat, Though tho lining went long ago, what natters that) Though they've ceased to be stylish, still what do wecarof They are pliable, limber and easy to wear. Any man wto has been there can never forge When he came home at night with his feet very wet. And he pulled off his shoes, with a satisfied sigh, And he put on his slippers, so roomy and dry. We have seen f ancr sllooen. but didn't InrnC 'Cause the homely old pair seemed to suit us the beet And for ease and for comfort to travel-sore feet We're au old pair of slippers you never can beat. J. 11. Smiley In Juliet News. He rrafarmd the Citron. "Vwich cookies you rudder haf. mees- ter, do vwonea mit holes in de meedle. or de vwonea mit citron in de meedle?" "Av it don't mahk ahny difference to yez, mum, oi'll tahk de ones wid de cit ron. Oi'm fonder av citron dan av holes, mem." Harper's Bazar. Obtuse. 'I take it for granted, Miss Laura," said young Dr. Smidgley, "that you con demn, as all sensible young women do, the unwholesomeand barbarous practice of tight lacing." "On tho contrary, Mr. Smidgley," re turned Miss Laura, with a wistful, yearn ing look in her glorious dark eye, "I think a compression of the waist to a reasonable extent not only harmless but at times positively exhilarating," And that dense, stupid, woodenheaded youth sat there for an hour and argued with the young lady on the evils of tight lacing. Chicago Tribune. Tie Had Sworn to Do' It. Sniggly Here's a curious thine-, A man married for his second wife the niece of his first; so the children of the second marriage" Bang I Quigley Excuse me, gentlemen; but I took tin oath only last week to shoot the first man that tried to cpring one of them mixed marriage stories onto mo. Boston Transcript Explained. Black If it isn't an impertinent ques tion, how much did you, pay for those boots? White Ten dollars. Block Why, I bought a pair Just like them, yesterday, for seven. White Yes; but I was introduced to tho man I bought these of by a mutual friend, Boston Transcript. Tory Convenient. Sidesplitter (who has submitted a joke to the editor) Pretty good, that, eh? Editor Yes, and we can use it very conveniently, too. "I am glad of that, sir." "Yes; you Bee, I have the original illustration to that joke, which appeared with it about ton yearago." Lawrence American, A Ghaatly run. "What was Gree'nwald hanged' for the man executed in New York on Fri day?" asked Squildlg. "Killing time," remarked McSwilli gen. "What!" "Yes; he murdered a man named Weeks." Pittsburg Chronicle. Fragile Steamship Xlecerde.- "It's very strangel" commented Mrs. Snaggs, as she laid down the paper. " What is strange?" asked her husband. "Every day or two I read about a steamship's retard getting broken. It's strange they don't make them stronger." Pittsburg Chronicle. A Terrible Alternative. Fred I am sorry, Dick, that yon have been so unsuccessful. Dick Unsuccessful! Alas, yesl I see nothing before me but ruin ruin or marriage, Yankee Blade. Tle'd Throw. That In. Joueson Johnson, my dear friend, I can never repay your kindness. Johnson Repay that $10 I just lent you, and I'll throw in my kindness, Yankee Blade. He Decorated illraeelf. Teacher And why do you suppose Joseph had a coat of many colors? Willie I guess he'd been eatin his dinner 'thout a napkin. Munsey's Weekly. Bard TYerk to Do Either. "Do you find it difficult to collect your blller1 "Collect my bills? I have all I can do to collect my thoughts! ' Lowell Oiti ten. Smart and Stingy. Mrs. Pattock John, dear, give me $10 and prove that you love me. Mr. Pattook There is five, chuUng. Thero is only one V In love? - toti The smallevt and daintiest prv-r boot in the world is the "Finger Prayer Book which has just been issued by the Ox ford university press. It la printed In diamond and brilliant type on the fa- . - T J I T. r.n . ( KJPUO J.UU1B JiaVI . 1BIUWU1SDU Nines, measures 8xl inches, and weighs only three-quarters ox on ounce. j The Palazzo Morosinl, In the. Campo Ban Btefano at Venice, Is fotJOlo, with the whole of IU contents. This palace remains precisely as it was, in every re spect, 900 years ago, when It was the family residence of a doge. It is unique example of the typical bom of a great Venetian pamcian of we tairwetim suaA v nwenttt fenrwiaf $1.28 when not paid in Advance. Single Copies 5 Conts Waiting for a rise Tho young lady who hangs on a strap in a horse car. ; ' Some of the girls are thinking of green grass and wark sunshine to corao, It'tsa for lawn hope. IKhy is a weathercock Ilka a loafer? because it Is constantly going, around' (io Ing nothing. ' 100 LailleshVanted. AnJ 100 men to call at drugqisls, for a free package of Lane's family Medicine, the great root and herb remedy, disooveera by Dr Silas Lane while In the Kooky moun tan in 9. For .diseases of the blood, liver and kidneys it is a positive cure. For constipa tion and clearing tip the complexion It doet wonders. ' Children like it. Everyone praises it. Largo-gizo paokago, 50 cents. At all driiifstsU'' There Is something solomu In the tqoes of a great bell striking midnight, especially If you are a. mile from, homo and kuow that your wlfb Is sitting .behind the ball door waiting for you. Why Is a bullock a very obedient ani mal? Hecause.be will Ho down if voti axe him. HIS nonYTKKIUBLYSIANaUBII. A shocking accident occured at the Union Knitting Mills, whereby Isaso Oox was horribly mutilated. Jied Flag Oil the Famous Pain Cure was quickly applied and recovery soon followed yon can try this great remedy for 24 cents. If you want to drive away Dyspepsia, Buttons ness, Oonstlpatlon, Poor Appetite and all evils arising; from a disordered Iilrer use Dr. I.ee"s Liver Regulator.. Trial bottles free" at T. I. Thomas. Time files and stays for no man. The only fellow who can beat him Is a musi cian. A Scrap of Paper Saves.IIer JLtfe. WflQ tll.f n, Avlnnu. . I , jow, ol. u.uiiiai; si.pui wrapiuni; Dancr. but It siiinii horitra i.. . . ... . , .1. u.iw ,.ua in .iiu iiK, stages ot consumption, told by physlclins that aim was mcuraDie ana coma live nniv n .hnn time: she weighed less th.m unvuntv in.,nH. On'a piece of wrapping paper she read of Dr! inHK a iwi discovery, ana got a sample bottle; It llCloed her. RllS tinmrlitn lam. hilltc. I. - ' n - "v""'. . ii i 1 J't tl her more, bought another and grow better fast, continued Its uda nnH f r- BHWUVI, V-iltbtlJ rosy, plump, weighing IW pounds. For fuller Hai.iiuiaia bciiu sunup to ,v . 11. VOlC, DrUCglSt, Port Smith. Trial bottles nf thin u-nnHAt-rnl rile- coveay free at IlEDEIl'S drug store. It Is quite natural that the man who steps on a tack should be hopping mad. FlSAKFUr. AND WONDERFDX. The early history of America is full ot instances of men havinu oreat nerve, lint we are. rapidly becoming the most nervous people on earth. The resent increase of in finity, epileptic fits, headache, backuche. neuralgia, sleeplessness, nervousness, ,dys pepsia, fluttering of the heart, .etc., points to an early decay of the race, unless this tendency is checked. Nothinir will cure theso diseases like. Dr. Miles' Ncruine. warranted to contain neither opium nor morphine. Sample bottles free at Blery or Thomas, drug stores. Don't (all to try it. -Before arithmetic was invented nronle multiplied on the face of the earth. A JUSTICE OF THE PEACE SAYS. Tlon. .Tnlin Nnnlv ti.olt nt nn-An , -' J, J w. -iiM I'LJv: tnu .ex-memlipr flf tllA TTntl.n nfnanna.n. tatlqes from Meredith, N. H., was for twelve years a terrible sufferer wieh rheum- 1118m. IT H 1 pnnnnt nhl. n -4... iliediclnn wlllrli flnf.u mn on mnnli a. " -- ft".", ao vourauinnur itniprn. anri i think- ,t in tt.a uest medicine made. Why does the ocean eet 'anew? Be cause it has been crossed so often. - You have often seen women with marked bluenees or paleness of face, vitiated appe tites, and a craving for unwholesome food. Theso are signs of a disordered liver, nnd he trouble must be corrected or worse ro nits . are miro to follow. Husbands and iithers cannot afford to treat this, matter ightly. Dr. Kennedy's "Favorite Hera jdy,'' which dispels liver disease, costs less . 1 1-1. .! J ... nun oiu-v wives ami aaugiuers. inu will ,ind it n very profitable investment There are fifty manufactories of imita tion butter In Germany. A factory In Mannheim produces dallvCOOO pounds from a preparation of -cocoanuts. Be sure and call for Dr, Ball's Cough Bj rnp. If you are troubled with a bad eengh or sold. Sir. Is. B. Kltfer, of Lancoster, Pa., wrote ut: Having- a'spralned leg of almost thirty davs standing, ana'atter trying-half a doten adver tised preparations in this market without satis factory results, I tried Salvation Oil, and In ices than three days my leg wi all right again. There's nothing like it. The general depth 'of the Snoz cannl la twenty-six feet. Hold it to the light. The man wIk tells rou confidentially just what will cure your cold is prescribing Hemps Balsam this year, in the prepara tion of this remarkable medicine for coughs and colds no expense is spared to combine i inly the beet and 'purest Ingredients. Hold a bottle - of Kemp's Balsam to the light and look through it; notice the bright, I'lear look; then compare with other remedies. Large bottles at all dniggUtp, 60c and $1. Sample bottle free. In feto York city last year there were 39,586 deaths, and 14,400 marriages. HUEU.MATIBM Is uudoubted'y caused by lactic acid in the blood. This acid attacks the fibrous t'ssucs, and -causes the pains and aches in the back, shoulders, knccH, ankles, hipa and wrists. Thousands of people have found in Hood's Sarsajiarilla a positive cure for rheumatism, This medicine, by its purfy ing action, neutralizes the acralty of the "blood, and also builds up and strengthens the whole body. The list official estimate of population of New York city was 1,575,400. Leading physicians recommend Ayer's Saris, psillla, Old and young take It 'with perfaet safety. Iteieaniei the blood, strengthen! the nerves and vitalizes the system. Popular ox- petlecea has long placed this medicine at the head oftonle alteratives. An engagement Is a very fragll thing. It cannot be dropped without broking IL "So you're engaged to Dr.iQ. It tnntt be very nice to ba engaged to doctor. Every time he calls, you know rand of course tbat must1 be very often you feel at if )ou were getting for nothing what every body cite would have to ray three dellsrr for. The Carbon Advocate An IWDxrsntBKNT Fa milt nxwhi-apbh Pult Usttetl every Saturday iB Lehighton, Oarbon uountr. Pennsylvania, by Harrv V. Morthimer Jr. BANK UTUBBT. $1.00 For Year-in Advanoe t Best advertising medium In tlieoounty. Every description oi Plain and Fancy JOB PRINTING very low prices. We do not hesitate to say that wo arebctter equipped than any othec printing establishment In itil section to do first-class Jolvwork, In all Its branches, at low prices, TAKEN IN BY A HORSEMAN. A Chicago Man's Matrimonial Venture With a Pretty Widow. If I live to be a thousand years old I hall never forget how a stranger took five of us in one day at Syracuse in n manner so slick that he walked off with our cash beforo we had a suspicion. It was. a rainy, dismal afternoon, and a dozen men agents, drummers, drovers, and others were sitting about the office. Some one read a newspaper clipping about a bigamist who had seven wives, and pretty soon each one had an opinion to advance. Finally a well dressed, good looking man ventured the observation: "I myself could have married a dozen womeu on an hour's notice. It'a all in the first impression created." Some agreed and some differed, and the discussion began to assume a more vigorous tone. By and by tho same man again observed: "You may think ma conceited, gentle men, but I'm only telling you what I know I can do. I've always had extraor dinary luck with women. I'll venture to say that I can go down to the depot, pick out the best looking woman in the waiting room, and, if sh Is not already married, that I can take her to the par son's inside of an hour." There was a grand laugh at this, but h looked very serious as ho continued i "Perhaps this crowd has some cash to lose on that? If so, let's talk business." After a bit we came to an understand ing. Fivo of us were to chip in $100 each against $500 of his money. We were to go to the New York Central do pot, select a female, and if she prove to be unmarried, h was to persuade her into marriage inside of an hour, or for feit his money. We could havo raised a thousand dollars as well as half that cum, but he could not cover it. Nine of u went down to the depot. Among the waiting passengers were sev enteen females, but on looking them over our oholoe was limited to three. We finally selected a woman we believed to be a widow. She was fairly hand some, well dressed, and hsd two or three parcels on the seat beside her. We got seats near by, and then our masher ap proached. He asked what train sh was going out on, spoke about the weathor, and, to our surprise, was not rebuffed. Within ten minutes he asked If she was a widow, and she had scarce ly answered in the affirmative when he began to plead his case. It was only forty minutes by the watch when h came over to us and said: "Gentlemen, I'd like two or three of you to accompany that lady and myself to the parson's as witnesses to our mar riage." We want, and they wer duly married and th stakes passed over. The lady actedaa coy and shy and embarrassed as you please, and confessed that it was a case of love at first sight. They took a train two hours lator, and when they" were fairly off we learned that ho was a horseman from Chicago, and that th woman had been his lawful wife for the past fifteen years. Now York Sun. Cutely Anawered. "A good many years ago when I was a country pedagogue back in tho state of .Maine," said Professor Knowlton, of th Boys' High School, "I was hearing my class in spelling when I gave out th word 'cuticle' to a big, lymphatic red headed girl. Slowly she drawled out: " 'C-u cu, t-1 tl, cuti, c-l-e cle, cu-tlok-le.' "I corrected her pronunciation and asked for tho definition. She looked around her blankly- as if in search fo something to spur her memory, when, after a moment or two of silence, I said: " 'Why, what is it that covers your hands and face? "Looking quickly at each hand h" face brightened up, and sh replied: " 'Oh, yes, frecklesr " San Francis Examiner. Too nasty. Police Judge (to park policeman) Why did you arrest this young couple? Policeman They came into the park late in the evening, sat down on a bench in the shadow of a tree, and then they two caressed. Judge They took a rest, did they? Well, what Is & park bench for except to take a rest on? Never take arrest on such grounds as that. Discharge th prisonart. Texas Sittings. Mo Beating About the Bush. "You may kiss htm for his mother," Tne wtaow sweeny aaia, A she sent her little hopeful, Beluctant, oft to bed. "But I think you should oonslder, While thus you're tempting fata, Whether It would not be better To kiss his mother straight." Lawrence American. - A Qoed Habit In the CUxumstaueea. Amy What an absurd habit that is of young Dalley's always sucking his cane.' Susie I think it Is a good plan. It keeps him from talking, you know. life, Xot a Homeopatnlo Deee. Mrs. Stone It was taken when I was 18, doctor; but, alas! I have changed since then. Dr. Littlebat (who never allows a wealthy patient to fish in shallow waters) Changed I Yes, but how Improved! Eighteen is such a lanky age. Rochester (N.Y.)Jury. ART NOTE8. A new association of artists has been founded in Paris. It Is called the Society sf Miniaturists and Illuminators, The "Angelus" has entered the port of New York in bond for six months for ex hibition, purposes, the bonds given being for 105,000. The artlstlo wealth of the Pi-ris muni cipality in paintings, sculpture, engrav ings, etc, is estimated at (8,500,000, out side qt the great treasures owned by the nation. J , IB
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers