Advertising Rates For Legal Noticea. T ho following pricr-i for legal adver tising lias been apopted by the Caihion Alvocate. The Carbon Advocate An Independent Farnllr Kssrapapef Published svery cATtJRDAY, la Itthlghton, Carbon Co., Pa., by ItAltHY V. .-TIOUTmiUEIC. omrE-nj.?rt.V.AY. a aholt drjtuioa iu tb Lokljrh Vflllay K. It, Depot. Terns: $1.00 DcrAiim in Ataici ETsr.r MttcnlrtioR or .ai axo ratter J ob Printing AT VEEi LOW PRICES Charter Notices - - - $4 00 Auditor's Notices - - - 4 00 Commissioner's Notices - - 4 00 Divorce Notices - - 4 00 Administrator's Notices - - 3 00 Executor' Nqjlco - - .- S 00 U. V. MoriTiiiMKit, Jr Publisher. INDEPENDENT' ' 4Liv3 and Let kive." S1.00 a Ycur if Paid in Advance. Other legal advertising will be cliargodj for by the square. H. V. Ucrthimtr, Jr., Publisher. VOL. XIV., No. 22. LEHIGHTON, CAItttON COUNTY, PA., SATURDAVT, APRIL 17, ISM. If not paid in advance, $1,25 ATTJltNEYS AND COUNCELLOI'.S, pq-QltAOE lir.YDT, ATTOKNEY AT LAW, Ornrnt Thn room recently occupied by vv. iu. itapsnor, BANK STltEET, LEHICJHTON, PA. May be consulted In English and German, Jul 4, isis-iy w M. kai'siiki:, ATTORNKY fc COUNOELLOR AT LAW. vinsT Dona arotk tub masbion house. MAUUlt CHUNK, PEKK'A. Heal rotate and Collection Agency. Will liny and Sell Ileal Estate. I'onvcyano nic neauy uone. lioiiecunns promptly maua. Nettling rjuatcs of Hecedrnts n Specialty. May I w consulted In English and Oortnan. November 22,1S . T A. SNYDKR ATTORNEY AT LAW. Ilinci Corner of Hunk Street ft: Ilankwuy 2nd building abovo the Carbon Advocate Printing Ofllce. . , Nay 10. 1683-ni6l ..sLKllltJHTON. EV.KORfMEB.'Sr.," 0TARY PUBLlJj OFFICII: ADVOCATE ltUII.DIXH, Bankway, Lehighton, Fennci All business pertaining to tbe i receive prompt attention lo PHYSICIANS AND DENTISTS. D II. T. AI.FIMCI) AXMIF.WS, homeopathic mysicians; sunaco.v Opposite Niillian Snyder's Slorc, EAST WEiSRPOE C Special attention given to chronic diseases and Diseases of Women. iipii7-Mu D It. W. W. KF.HEH PHYSICIAN AND ST'ltniXIN DANK STREET. LEHltHlTON, PA. 11'FICE Hoar at Partyvlllo From a.m.. to Vi m, dally, ifay bo consulted In tile English or Oerman Language. May 17. '64. tst.b- KKIIKIi, .11. I. V S. EXAMINING SURGEON, PRAt'TlOINO I'll YSIIJIAN& SUIiHEIIN OrflCE IbinK .Street, H Hunt's IIlock. I.EHIOHTON, PENN'A. Nny he consulted In tbo German Language. Nor.S.tli. Ty . u. sKipiii:, PHYSICIAN AND SURUEON, SOUTH STREET, LKI1IOIITON, PA.' Mav be consulted In English or Oerman Special attention (ilven to OvjiKcmonv OrFirK Horms From 12 M. to 2 P. H., a,id from 0 lot, P. M. March 31, 83 P. A. Rabe'-iold, D.D.S., lit! A. NUIl Ol'EIOE-OiiposlteOlaussfc Uro'a Bank St., Lshighton, Pa DenMstry In all lt branches. Teeth ex tracted without p.uti. Oas adinlnliterod when requested tittlce Hays W Ell. Nl.S DAY of e tell week P. II. Address, L1TZENHEKO, Lehigh county, Po. Jan. 3, l. i-ly. W. A. Cortright, D.D.S., OFFICE : Opposite the "nroadivay House," Mauoh Chunk, Pa. Patlenra have the benelit of he lntost Im provements In raedmnhul appliances ami tho best methu Is of treatment hi all surgleat eases. ANjUS TIIKTlii administered If desired. IT poMI'de, persons residing outside of M&ueh Chunk khould m.ike eugaginonls by mail. htj.rl EYE AND EAU. DR. G. T. POX Visits Allcnlown regularly on Til UKSD.VY oTcjoIi week. Practice limited to Diseases of the Eye & Ear Office at Hurdrn's American Hotel, ur.d oflio. hours Iron. 9 In tho forenoon until 3:31) In tho afleru ion. Al atlen.U to Tte Imctinii of the Kya tor Ih, propsr adjust meat of hse?, und for tiie rehol' autl ouro of optical deftu'ts May also bo consulted at his office in 11ATII, Wedneidae und Snlurday of each wfek el I1ANGOR ru Mondtiv, and at K ASTON on Tuesday. jan 2 RU ly. HOTELS AND JKIRY. QARBON HOUSE, JONATHAN K1STI.ER. PHOPIllETOR, Hank St., Leiiiomton, Pa. Tha (IxiuoH Housu oilers ftrsuclass acconi' umdatlnns to the Traveling public Hoarding bv the Iiav or Week on Reasonable Term,. Uholce Ulgarf, Wlnoj and Liquors nlmiyiou band. Uod Sheds and Stables, with atter ttre Hostlers, attached. April 10. yl, JDACKEItTON HOTKli. I I way between Mauch Chunk Lehlghten LEOPOLD MEYER, PaorBltTOB, Packerton, Penn'a This well known hotel Is admirably refitted, and li is tho best accommodations lor ueriuan. nt and transient boarders, bicelleut tables anl tho very best llqimi. Also Una stables a tached. Sept. 18-yl. D. J. KISTLEtt Uesnectlully anuounera tn th public that he has opened a NEW LIVERY S 1'AIILK In eoanrotlon with his hotel, and Is prepared to furnish Teams for Fausrals WeiiiuEs or Easiness Trips or shortest notice and most llheraDerins. All orders left at the "(,'arbon Uoute" will receive protaptttaUoa. Suibl oa Kor.b Sinn, aeiilbsai'.i: I.t!.,n",a. Thomas' Drug Store. W p p ert- CD o o ?c cr o I l- o s o H3 o o CD CO o tA'twr-' I ! a? 3 O &3 v CD CP V. Cfceaw-i, m re' vac 03 O L us: - h Ui O o o s 33 eg n Fiiysiciaas Peiscr.irtio.is ,'jarofullly Compoancicd SANK TttKET. Lohiiihton. MtLLKIl and lxnleia la Flour and Feed. Vi. Kind of (1IIA1.N COUCH'f HUH MILD rtKOUI.AU MAllKLT ItATKH Wo wnn'.d. also, toanectiuilv Inlorta onrcu ui ihut wenio loiw fullv I'lvpund to hli l. toem with The Best of Coal rrom f ry M !u dcalicn at Vlilt IAIF i:.ST I'RSC'KS. V. HEILMAN A CO JtL. i I.t tVioRiihyrup. Txt.t'Hcn l. frJ lite lu tine Koul hvdroci'tt ta. CL'ilFS VHTft; ALL LLLl.fSIL S. 11 OI.1NKIN nHLTNKY,tnlilonble Hoot and Snoa .Mai: mt. Hank St. I.eliUHon. All work warranted. Sale Bills ! Printed hile you wait. Wc liave better faeilitirs than any other oilice in this county ior this work. Give us a call. i. CONVEY ANUEH, AND 8F.NERAL INSTJlt AI7CE AGENT The fullowlna CimipAniei are RMprMniitedt LIS C Art )N MUTUAL 1'IRK IIBAD1NO MUTUAL l'.I ME. WYOHINO TIItR. i-orr?viLt.E ritiK, LKHIGIl r I H'fv ntitl the TRAVELERS AUUIDENT INf UH AKOC Also Pnnst lvinlt and M it tinl Home fhle etcctlreand luorant-o Companv. March il. 1S71 I'll OS. KHMEItEIt. T. J. BltETNEY, Ileepectf'dly announces to the mcrchnnts of Lehlvhton and others that bo Is prepared to do nil kinds of Hauling of Fieight, Express Mutter and Baggage at very reasonable prices. Hy prompt at tention to all ordi ra be hopes to inrilt a share ol public putroiiiit-e. Hrsldcnce, coiner of Pino anil Iron Strvot. Lehlghtin, Pa. Orders tor hauling loll at ('. M. awreny U Son's Slore will receive prompt attention. T. J. UREr.VEY. Oct. 12. 18313m. E. F. LICK KNIl.M H DhALER IN Wall Papers, Kordeis & Decorations, Books, Stationery, Fancy Goofls. Window Shades & Fixtures, Lillet Stylts. made and pui up, If des Iron. Paints, Oil, Varnish, Putty, Brushes & general Painters' Supplies. Ho. 61 Broadway. Mancb Ctal, Pa. Dvlov the UtoaJjvay K'aitk 3 P"rra .jliiiI?.Iioo: , TCtH-vh.Hcipler.tCcnrjrp r-rso-ln adTft-:ccti ft 150 of W t'aru Hi OenrODO Vr uiYjih Ji!t A. a Jtfcwr it Co.. Rcl9 J ITcp's.Eanimoro.Md., U.B.A. tfj SALVATION OSL, "The Greatest Cure on Earth for Pain," Will relieve nora quickly than any other known remedy. nheunatJsm, Neuralgia, Swellings, Drti:se3, Durn3, Scald3, Cuts, Lumbago, Gores, Frost bites. Backache, Vounds, Headache. Toothache, Sorains, &c. Sold by o!) Drurrcists. Price 25 Cents a Dottle. Iiipisilivo Mrs. Ditziioolior. iir.fi. riTKoooiiLit bei:ks roit ixroitM- ATION nil; 1'UZZI.INO QULS TI'JX Til AT SI1U ASKLD HCtt LOUD AND MASTKlt. "Fl(7.."l)rlghtlv reiuarketl the amiable Mrs. Fltzgcober, as her husband leaned back In his clulr, and turned to the athletic department of the paper, "I wish you Mould seethe captain of the Atlanlas, and tell him wo have got a bit; lot of Jlie.-i that we will close out tt5 li I in cheap, as the season Is nearly over." "Fllesl'' echoed the astonished man, "flies I Now what under the sun do you suppose they want flics for?'' "To strike, of course! Don't the paper I ell of the number of fllej struck? And If they knofk them around that way every tlav, they inukt be compelled to replenish tlii-ir stock." "Oh, soul of Socnttt, did I ever hear of the like?" groaned ritz. "H'hatthey tnt-an by a fly,my deluded wlfe,ls itlfock liiS Ihe ball inlo the air." A blank look overspread the lady's face as she replied. "Oh, yes; I understand now, the fly Is on the lull." '"ltz ejt.d her pityingly. ' "No, thfio's no lly on the b.ill." "Why do they e.tll it a fly, then?" "Uceaiuc the ball Hies tluottvjli the air." "That's It, is It: I m glad you told me. Dut they do have a coop of ehltikens to turn looe and iiin nfier, don't th?" "No, tliy don't have chicken I" "How do they manage to catch foivls, then'."' Fkzitouber almost fainted, but nun age.1 to gurgle forth, "What a pity eomo uouien haven't u grain of .sense." "I was jiut asking for infunnation," timidly answered his wife. "Do.ly," spoko Fllz, "a foul Is when tl'.e man at the li.tt,'" "What bat?" "Hase-ball bat, of course. A foul is when the ball Is struck by the bat" "I thought Ihe man struck the ball." "Thev do," said the bewlldcre I ni in, "but lie has a hat to strike with; and when the lull Is struck, and does not cross or enler the diamond" "Do tliuy play with diamonds, too?" "No, no; the diamond is formed by the bases." "What are the bases?"' "The points Hie men must louch be fore they can sroie a run." "Oil, yes, the player get arrested sometimes, don't the?" "Arrested for what?" "Fur stealing thu base. I saw In the paper where one man stole all three of them." "Oh!" groaned Kilz. "they mean by that, that the player slips up on the base." "What make3 them slip up on the base; they ain't allie are they?" I'itzgoober did not reply. He merely cast a scornful look at his better half. "I also saw," continued tho lady, "where several of them look their first btscs on balls. Now, do they have a rUht to have bases sen ei to them in any style they want to?" Still l-'itz was silent; he was almost paralj.ed. As he did not reply to her question, Hn. l'ltzgoober sprung up and left the room hurriedly, growling angrily, "I think thing have conic to a pretty piss, when a husband won't glut his wll'o Information on a subject that she asks about!" ENFORCED HONESTY, Mrs. I'eterby caught Matilda Snow bill, her servant, several cunsecutlui times. "Now, I've caught you again. You seem to be a natural born thief." "Yes, mum, btitl'se had a run of bad luck oh late." "What I want to know Is how it comes that in your recommendation from the lady you lived with last, she says you never stole from her, I5!d she lie about It?'1 "N, mum, she toles tie troof." "Have jou then become dishonest slnco you cainii to me?'1 "No, mum. I allers stole when I had a chance.". "1 suppose she kept everything locked up." "No mum, she was do wife ob one ob dose newspaper men, and dar wasn't nulllii In de houso wulf stealing. Dey am owlu' me a inunf's wages ylt." Lord Dnflerln, Vleeroyot Jndla.h.w received authority Irom thf JJrJiUh gov ern titui to iatita Uuni.ak. Kl A naturalist says that when a Hon becomes old and un&ble to Injure a man Ills main falll out. If you have a spltu against n lion don't tackle him until his mane falls out. P. S.. Don't tacklo him the... Iflrs nil.r m tn .In It for you. A Esnsible Man would use Kemp's Itahcm for the throat and lungs. It Is curing mora cases of coughs, colds, asthma, bronchitis, croup and all throat and lung troubles, than any other medicine. Thu proprietor has authorized Illery, of AVelssport, anil Thotn as. this ulace. to refund vour money- If, after taking three-fourths of; a bottle, relief Is not obtained. Price 50c. and $1. Trial size free. j "To be visible a comet must be, seen," observes an astronomer. This sounds reasonable. Wo presume to be invisible a comet must bs unseen. It isn't hard to be an astronomer, if you only know how. Dr. Frazior's Root Bitters. Frazler's Hoot Hitters are not a dram shop beverage. But arc strictly medi cinal In every sense. They act strongly upon the liver and kidneys, keep the bowels open and regular, cleanse the blood and system of every Impurity. Sold by druggists, $1.00. At Thomas' drug store. Murray hill nobs hire men by the year to take care of their cats. Ordi nary people havo no trouble with their cate. They just turn them loose aud let the neighbors look after them. Encklen's Arnica Ealve. The best salve In the world for cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rhucni, fever sores, tetter, chapped hands, chllblands, corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi tively cures piles, or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac tion, or money refunded. Price 23 cents per box, at T. V, Thomas'. There Is very little between a baby's smile and heaven, aud a woman Is quite as near It when there Is only a window glass between herself aud a display of spring bonnets. Dr.l'razer's Magic Ointment. A sure euro for all boils, hums, sores,' cuts, llesh wounds, sore nipple, hard and soft corns, chapped lips and hands". Price CO cents. Sold bydrugsUts. Wil liams M'f'g. Co., Prop's., Cleveland, O. Sold by Thuuias, the druggist. In the Parlor. She Anticipation, lie Exultation. Both Osculation. Tather Indignation. He Gyration. All around seniation. ThR3o are Solid Facts. The best blood- purifier and system regulator ever placed within the reach of suffering humanity, truly Is KlectTjc Hitters. Inactivity of thu liver, bljll ouiiiess, jaundice, constipation, weak kidneys, or any dl ease of tliorlqtuS' or;n3, or who ever requires an apoe tizer, tonic or mild stimulant, wll always find Electric Hittprs the best and only certain euro known. They act siut-ly anJ quickly, every bottle guaran tee 1 to give entire satisfaction or money refunded. Sold at fifty cents a bottle bj T. I). Thoin is. "Yes," said thu pawnbroker, "It Is certainly monotonous silting at this desk from uioru to night, nevertheless I take some Interest In the work Why will you eolith when Sh lion's Cure will give Immediate relief? Price ll)c, 50c, SI. Sold by Dr. Horn, Le hlghton. Hiery, Weisspoit. "Is the tide going out!" said a sail or to a gentleman who was passing a house where a marriage ceremony had just taken place. Don't be fooled with something else. The Hop Plaster Is the best Porous plaster known. To a certain extent we all profit by each other's misfortunes, but tho man who tells a woman that her babe Is not pretty Is liable to go homu with a bleed ing seal p. Shiloh's Catarrh Hemedy a positive cure for catarrh, diphtheria and canker mouth. Sold hy Illery, Welssport, and Or. Horn, Lehlghton Alligator hides nre worth seventy live cents each in Loulsanna. This sig nificant fact explains why tramps are seldom seen so far south. A nasi! injector frco with each bottle of fchllolt's Catarrh Iiciuedy. Price fiO cents. Sold by Illery, Welssport, and Horns, I.ehlghton, Il has been observed by the men who browse on the dry fodder of statis tics, that the Knglish could sparrow a few more of their birds. The selfish nun may have much wealth; but like the water on the sea, it quenches the thirst of none. Ayer's Cathartic Pills are suited to every age. They are mild and pleasant In action thorough and searching in ef fect, and, being sugar-coated, are eay to take. These pills never fall to give satisfaction. The man who thought that an edi tor's work was "nothing more than to write,", found he was wrong when he tried It." Honesty, like gold, Is frequently used to plate baso metals. For dyspepsia and liver complaint.you have a printed guarantee on every bot tle of Shiloh's Vitalizer. It never fails to cure. Sold by all druggists. An exchango has a department headed "Woman's Talk." Il crowds out a good share ot the advertisements. Ho cliceiful and you are bound to l.o l.Millltv M'lia .buniLltn, t.illni.t t ., " , the ono who dies. Shiloh's Cure will Immediately relieve croup, whooping cough and bronchitis. Sol I bv l)r Horn Leh'"htoii anil ltiprv v.,L 1,onl'J-u'mo" J"" " -"I'orL Somebody has Invented a woman's hat thai shuts up, but the woman her- sell still continues otherw Isc. Hope Is a guldbo.trd that is always , ' v , . . pointing to a pleasant pathway through nr. "Ilackmft.ick," a lasting, a fragrant perfume. Price a& and f0 cents. Ulery, weissnorf Ur Horn Lehlshtcn neisspoii, ur.uorn, .enignio.i. Iransactlons In poultry are apt lo bred had blood. Men arc hvays In - dlgnaut when thoy itet a fowl of each .? , j 'OGTLEIl JOE. i stood nt Ce. as Tue sun vrcnt doHn. by i a cravo uhere a wonmn lies, Who Iurcd men's ot Is to the shnres ol sin wllh thought of her wantt.n eyes, ' Wlioswis tiie sotift Hint tho siren Sanson thn treiuh rous I.nrlty hclvlit, Who.n inre wai ai falras n suminor tiny and ho,e heart was its bhuk as night, Yet a btosfnin I falnnniild pluck to-day fioui ' the Kimlfii above her iliiit: i .Notlliehii.ruornuslllyofthesouUessslnnor' tiie hli'dd-ri'il rose ef litat. , Uut a swert white-hloir.om or holy lnvc that 1 Brew Inllic one urcm spot i 1:1 t,HJ nrl'' ,lt"sCrt "r l'none'a life. licro nil as Paicncu and not. In the snmnicr, when the meadows were ttiilow with hl'ie and red, Joe, the 'ostler n the Mttc;ple,and fair Annie Smith were wed. Plump was Annie, plump and pretty, with a cheek as while its snow : He was anything but baudsom;, was the Magpie's Vsllcr, Jon. Cut he won the winsome lassie. They'd n col luce and a cow And her nuttronh-Hid sat Hiihlly on tho vil lage beauty's brow. Sped tho mouths and came a baby- such a blue-eyed baby hoy! Joe was working In the stables when tlicy told 111 m of tils Joy. He was rubbing down thehorses and hejave them then and there All a special feed of clover Just In honor of lite heir; It had been his great ambition, and he told the horses so, That the Fates would send a baby who might bear Ihe name of Joe. Little Joe the child was christened, and.likc babies crew apace, Hod his mother's eyes of azure and his fath er's honest face. Swift the happy ears went over, ycar3of blue and cloudless SNyj Love was lord of that small rottage, and the tempests pascd them by. Tassed them by for jenr?, tnen swiftly burst hi fury o'er their home; Down the lane by Annie's cottage chanced a genlleman to roam; Thrice he came and saw her sitting by the window with her child, And he nodded to tho baby, and the baby luuched and smiled. So at last It erevvta know him little Joe was nearly four; He would call Ihe "pn ttygemplun," as he passed the open door, -And one day he ran and canirljt him, and In child's plav pulled him In, And the baby Joe hud prajed for brought about the ir.othci's sin. 'Twasthe same old wretched story Hint for ages bards have sung: 'Twas n woman weak and wanton and a vil lain's tempting tongue; 'Twas a picture deftly painted for a silly creature's eyes Of the Ilabjlnnlan wonders and the joy that In them lies. Anno llslencd and was tempted; she was tempted and she fell. As the angels Tell from heaven to the black' o.st depths of hell; She was promised wealth and splendor and a life of guilty sloth. YUlow gold for child and husband and the woman left them both Home one eve camo Joe the 'ostler with a cheery cry of "Wlfel Klndlnc that winch blurred forever alt the story of Ids life, she hail left a silly letter through the cruel scrawl lie spelt Then he sought tho lonfly bedroom, Joined his homy hands and knelt. "Xnw.O Lord, OfJod, forgive her, for she ain't to blame!" he cried; "For 1 owt t'a seen her trouble, and 'a gono away and died Wlij . a lass like her find bless her! twasu't likely as she'd rest With that bonny head forever on a 'ostler's rni'gcd vest. "It was kind o' her to bear me all this long and happy time, So for my sake lease to bless her, Though you count her deed a crime; It so be I don't pvay proper. Lord, forgive me, for J on seo I can talk all right to 'osscs, but I'm nervous like with thee, Xe'er a line came to the cottage from the woman who bad flown; Joe, the baby, died that winter, and the man was left alone. Ne'er a bitter word he uttered, but In silence kissed the tod. Having what he told his horses; saving what he told tils (iod. Far away In mighty London rose the woman Into fame, For her beauty won men's homage, and she piospered In her shame: Quick from lord to loril sho lllttcd, higher still each prize she won. And her rivals paled besldo her as the stars beside the sun, Ncxl she made the stage her market, and she .dragged Art's temple down To the level ot a show-place for the outcasts of the town. And the kisses sho had given to poor 'Ostler Jon fur naught With their gold mid costly Jewels rich and tilled lovers bought. Went the years with flying footsteps while her star was at Its height, Then tho darkness came im swiftly, and the gloaming turned to night Shattered stmiKth and faded beauty tore the laurels from her brow; Ot the thousands who had worshipped never ono came near her now. Ilrnkcu down In health and fortune, men for. got her veiy name, 1111 the news that she was djlng woke the echoes of her fame; And tho papers In their gossip mentioned how an "actress" lay hick to death In humble lodgings, growing weaker every day. One there was who read the story in a tar-oft co'i:,try place, And that night ilieil.ving woman wokeniid looked upon his face. Once again the strong arms clasped her that had clasped her long ago, And the wearied bead lay pillowed on Ihe breast of '0tler Joe. I All the past had he forgotten, all the sorrow lim, lnc mm. lie bad found her (del: and lonely, and his I wile lis now could claim. ' slm'e Prarid loiks win, h id known her tin,, and ;li Had slunk imav. lie could riiisti tils loinj lost darliiiE, and no 111:111 6:,y him nay. tn his arm death found her lylns.ln his arms I And h" tSrs"came down iu torrents as he kiKll beside tliii deiul. : i ?cvcr oaco his love had taKcrcd thrcujjb tier , liaM-, unhallowed iit.-'j - - ' .And lim sumo above her aiUos tears the I honored name ol wife. - 1 ,- ', , That's tho b!ftsoin I fain would pluck to-day -from the garden abovHberUtist; NoUhivhuimiorouIll otsaulienslnuorthe ' imM'.Ttth "b'toitm. ot holy love Mat . sr l W ,,ll"':le FoJ'" !.ul... In Mie nra 'le.bri of Phryxa Hf, wbwe l' w.s ,ie.iej .-. j.'t. AllGgcl Airieae Humor. rvvisr ptoriss, cullld trom the COLVM2CS Of KXCltAttUKS. The recent railroad blockade recalls a story that a distinguished ilalnn gentle man tells against himself. Some years njio lie was maklnja jourunytlownltast, when his train heoauio now-hound. It a, ,,, ...,- ,, ,, . , 1;o!'e ot P"JB' unl" daylight. Uut neir at hand was a little village that bnastPil n iJtibllo hall. It was sujftjested that the pasngcrs adjouru to the hall and listen to an addres by their dis tinguished fellow-traveler. He finally consented to do his part: the hall was warmed and lighted, and the lecture tuck place. Tho next day the gentle man was approached bv a ilurdy joung yocman, who said: "You're the inui who made tho speech 1.1st nlaht, ain't vou?' Tho Identity being duly established he went on 'I want to thank you for it, L don't know when I've enjoyed myself more than I did while you weie talking.' The orator experienced the genial glow which unconventional and un sought praise Is wont to Inspire, and he cordially took the honest fellow's hand. 'Yes,' tho young man continued, lt was a good thing. You see, my girl Is on the train, and while you were lecturing she and I had the car all to ourselves.' AX UNPLEASANT REMINDER. It was at a Washington residence and the young man had been going often and staying late until thu girl felt the monotony. Ono night about 11 o'clock tiie conversation dragged and for a minute or two he sat In a cogitative mood with his hand to his forehead. 'I had something pleasant to tell you,' he said, finally, 'Yc3,' she responded, irqulrlngly, 'what was it?' 'Uni urn let mo see,' rubbing his head; 'I can't just think what It was. 'May bo It was 'good night,' sho sug gested. He looked at her for a mlnntebut she never flinched; then he went away and up to date has not been bark. A STAl) AT LUlKr.TY. First Socialist Hcniembcr tho meet ing to-night, Josef. Important ques tions to be discussed. Assassination ol Blsmark, blowing up thu Washington monument, kidnapping Victoria- second bociallst 1 nave so many duties, nenrlch, I can not attend. I am 'We are also going to decide whether or not we shall have beer at our meet ings in future.' 'What! Havo our rights been ques tioned? Are our liberties Invaded? Helnrieh, when justice calls I am at my post. I will be there. TlIDY ARC ALL ALIKE. Overheard In a street car First lady Why, you know, dear, my husband Is too forgetful for anything. Why, do you know, when ho goes out he really don't remember where he is going. Second lady Well, all men are alike. They keep on talking and half the time they forget where they are going. First lady to conductor, 'Stop at Col lego street, pleaso.' 'Conductor: 'Two blocks back, madam.' WAR PRICES IN THE SOUTH A few days ago a party of gentlemen were discussing high prices in the South during the latter part of the civil war. 'I paid 30 a yard for a suit of gray cotton jeans,' said the first speaker, 'and the suit of clothes cost me i'MO after being cut and made.' 'The biggest trade I made during the war,' said No 2, 'was $110 for a spool of cotton thread.' 'And I,' said No. 3, 'paid S15 for a shave.' 'How could a man carry enough change in his pocket to buy anything?' I ventured to ask. 'They s'tuffnd it In their hats, boots and pockets, or most any where il would stick,', replied No. 1. lajientahle io.voranci:. An Evanstou mother was reading her little girl the Sunday school !t'Soii for the day, when sho came to the verse: 'Hut when they.nett saw Joseph they found him In a position of great author ity and power, ami' 'Joseph was klng.wasu't he, mamma?' Interrupted Ethel. 'No, Ethel, ho was not king, but ho was very high - next to the king.' 'Oh, I know, mamma; ho was Jack- Jack high.' uy fair-minded man will readily seo from the above that no pokerclubs exist In Evauston, or Ethel would havo been better Inform d as to where thr Jack ante In. THE MISTAKE PIIOI1A I1I.Y NATLRAI.. A eei tain rich hut Ignorant old fanner In Georgia was asked by hh fellow citizens to run for the legislature 1 won't do It,' he b.i!d, Indignantly. 'Why won't you? You'10 just the nun for it,' was the reply. 'Am J? Well, I just hain't, nuther. You think I'm awIiic up thar tin' go trapesln' aroun' with then durnrd striped clo's on? Go 'long an' gll some body else to go to your doggone legls- latur. Ycr can't git me, and that's all lliar is to hit.' THE TEliTJI VVIUIE NOT I'ALSK EKOUGII. ,V lady with bur head bandaged in a handkerchief rushes inlo a duutist's ottlcA aud exclaims: Doctor, I can't stand it any longer. These false tooth you nude cause me the mcst terrible agony ' 'Well, madjim, what would yen havsf I could not Imitate nature any better.' A PROFITABLE CUSTOM. Rtr.mEr.ir fin XVflriln'fnn hfelnrfrl -DoinanyiLateimwcoiuB in here to ; ,i,ti, 1 I Uar''.enJer-No,butweeatch a fiood HE'D CHOOSE 10 BE A BABY. The following stoty was told nt the recent encampment of the Grand Army nt Mexico, Mlssouil. A group around one of the numerous camp fires were relating Incidents of bravery and cow ardice shown In battle, and this Is one of them: "It was at the hattls of Gettysburg,' said the speaker, "when the bullets were falling like hall, nni ths shells were snrlol.ing and bursting over our heads In a way to make the bravest heait tremble, a piivato diopped out of the inuka and shulkcd back toward the rear. Ho was well under way, when unfortunately for him. he was met by Gen. Slocnm coming to theftont. " bat ate doing here? Get back to your post," the general shouted: "The poor fellow stopped still and trembled likj a leaf, but made no re ply." '.'Get back 30 your post, you miserable cowaid; aren't ou ashamed of yourself lo b2 skulking back hero when you should be In the front with your bravu comrades?" Still the man ma le no reply, but com menced to cry like a year oIJ Infant "You Infamous, sneaklus coward," scouted the Infuriated general, "get back to your post; I'll ride you down like a dog. Why, you are nothing but a baby." '"I-I-I'll t-t-t-tell you what g-g-gener-al," said the blubbering fellow, "I'd g-g-g-glvo anything just n-n-now if I was u b-b-baby, and l-l-f I had my ch-ch-cholce I'd rather be a female baby." BE MODEST. 'Illustration, of Paris, relates an amusing story concerning Prince Na poleon. A poor girl, uilssrabla and de jected lookiug, asked alms of the prince who was then a representative of the people. He handed her a five-franc piece, on which was the effgy of Napol eon I., and as she was feasting her eyes on the money, tha prlnco asked, "Do you think I resemble him?" "Whom?" said she, opening her eyes in astonishment. Prince Napoleon pointed to the white piece of money. "Hut whom?" "Nupoleonl" The gill looked at hlra, aud repeated as if she had been spoken lo In an un known language: "Napoleon! N'a-po-le-oul" The prince was astonished. "Then you did not know Napoleon?" he In quired. "No." "Nor ever .even heard hint spoken of?" "Never." In the Hue de Rivoll, Paris, a being was found who didn't Kuow who Na poleon was. And Prlnca Jerome ad ded, as he related the Incident: "Gen tlemen, you see how it is. He modest!" PaOTSCTIITO THEIR BIGHTS. Probably no roneei 11 in tho country has adhered more strictly 10 the 1'etcr miuation to achieve success by the lib eral use of printer's Ink than has the Brown Chemical Company, of Balti more, Md. Starting business about five years ago, they have expended oyer Sl, 500,000 In tho preparation and circula tion of printed matter, more. than, half of which has been paid tor newspaper advertising. All this has been dune to make known tiie virtues of their cele brated lirown 8 Iron Bitters. As might be evpected, very larse sale have lesulted from this enormous out lay. In fact, Brown's Iron Hitters is about as staplu in many drug stores as is liotir at the corner grocery. Like all good tilings, Brown's Iron Bitteis has uecn largely imitated. Tliore aie un scrupulous manufacturers who cater to just this sort of trade, and some de tiers are so lacking iu principle, that because a greater profit can bo made on ftaudti lent than on genuine medicines, thev are willing to delude the public by puslf Ing oif Iron Tonic. Bitters and other tonic medicines iu place of tho genuine Brown's Iron llittrrs. which Is undoubt edly one of the put est and best medi cines known. These frauds have been practised so extensively, that the com pany, finding all other means Innde- liute, have at last detenu ned to trv a little cold law to put a ston to them. Suits lor heavy damages have therefore ucen coniinenci'tl ntralnst Frederick Stearns it Co.. Detroit, Mich., who are known as the Non-Secret Me Heine Manufacturers!, for selllii" Iron Tonic B t ers; against Meyer Bros. & Co.. of St. Louis, Wholesale. Druggists, for sel ling Brown's Iron Tonic, prepared by U ,1. Lincoln. Little Bock. Ark., and against Jas. A. Dieklii'on, a druggist in HuHimorc. for Iron Ton c Bitters with his name mum the label, which medi cine was made by Koshlaud, Hollander A Co.. of that cltv. and also elalmod as an Imitation. We wish the Brown Chemical Company every success In these suits, us It Is high tlmo those who h.ne pluck enonsli to carrv larae enter prises such as theirs to success, should be protected from those who live not by their own genius and effort, but by copying aud' counterfeiting things that have been made standard and valuable by others. THE OK0V1NO NOR TK WEST. Said the mayor of Minneapolis to an alderman: "I hear thai- another family moved Into St. Paul yesterday." "Yes." "How large?" "Man nthl wife and four children." "That's bad. What are we doing?" "Well, one pair of twins Is repotted from the Fourth vt aid and two immi grants from Now York have just got here. I expect a friend and his wife and ono child to arilve on the noon train. I think we.' II manage tokecp up with that one-horse town down the river." Hobson Your husband's death made a very profound Impression on me, my dear Mrs. Busk. I loved John, and I think John loved me. The world has lost a good lean, and. tbe falnlstry a bright light. Mrs. Rusk Oh, it does neera so hard to bear, snt tbnn you know John was epar!n- forthe S'tW effort of his Hie. M"ol 10"7W,P "$mAlS: Vour Children Aro constantly exposed to danger from Colds, TThoopIng Cough, Croup, and diseases peculiar to the throat and lungs. For such aliments,, Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, promptly adminis tered, affords speedy icliof and euro. A3 a. reuwly for Whooping Cough, with which many of our children wera afflicted, wo used, during tho past win ter, with much satisfaction, Ayer's Cherry Pcctorul. For this affection, wo consider thli preparation the most effi cacious of. all tho medicines which havo come to our knovrlodgo. Mary Park hurst. Preceptress, Home for Little v andcrers, Doncaster, Md. My children havo been peculiarly sub ject, to attacki of Croup, and I falleU to tint! any enecth;o remedy until I com menced administering Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. Thli preparation relieves the illllloulty of breathing aud Invariably cures lho complaint. David G. Storks. Chatham, Columbia Co., N. Y. I havo used Ayer's Chorry Pectoral In my family lor many years, end have found It especially valuable in Whooping Cough. This medicine allays all Irritation, prevents Inflammation from cxtendiug to the lungs, and quickly sub uum any tendency to Lung Complaint. -J. B. Wellington, Plalnvlllc, Mich. I find no medlclno so effective, for Croup and Whooping CouRh, as Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. It saved tho life of my little boy. only sis months eld, carrying hlra safely through the worst caso of vv hooping Couah t ever saw. Jano Maloao, Plney Flats, Tenn, Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, r??'Lrei!,r'?.nr' J'C' Co- t-owell.Masa, Bold byallbruEjIsts. Price 81; six bottles, SS. No Patr nt No Pay. PATENTS obtained for Inventors In tbe United States Canada a nd Europe, at reduced rates. With our principal oface located In Washington, directly opposlU tho United statos Patent OiUcc, we aro able to attend to all patent business with greater promptnoi and da seatch and at le.'S oost than ether patent nt tornevs who aro at a dlstanco from Wash lni;ten, and who have, therefore, to employ "asjocUte attorneys." We make preliminary examinations nud rurnlsh opinions as to ra. tent.ibllliy, free of charge, uud all who are Interested In nrif Inventions and ratents aro Invited to send for n copy ol nur "(lulde for obtaining Patents," which la sent free to any address, nnd contains com! lute Instruc lions how to obtain patents nnd other vnlua bio mutter. Wo refer to tho Oennnn-Amor-lean National Hank IVnshli.gton, 11. 0.; the Hoyal Swedish. Norvroiflan and UanlshlVira Hons, at Washington: Itoo. .Tog. t'asey, late llhlcf Justice U. S. Court or Claims; to tbe OtHclal or tbo U. S Patent Omo, and to Senators and Members of Congress from cvorv State. Address: LOUIS HAOQEHft CO., So lienors or Patents and AttornevsnlLaw Le-, Droit Building Wabbimitivw, I). II, Catarrh' ely-s CPiEilMBALH Ul s-, IS WORTH ffei no n YFEVEFt! TO any MAN f.jM woman or cniid suffering from mM Catarrh. &?f-PEWE$ Crallnc. M.cb. A ptirlicle is applied intoeaeh nonriland is agreeable lo use. Price 51) mils by mall or at driieisls Send tor circular. LY IlROTHUltS. Drusgists Owegn, N. Y. Jy lb. 1SS5. DANIEL WIEAND, Carrragcs,Warotis,Slcigh8,Ao consul or RANK A XI) II.OTi hTHT;E1S, LKHIIJHTON, Pxv&a.i Particular attention ulven to REPAIRING In all Its details, at the very Lowest Prloea. Patromme ri.ecl I ill ly solicited aud par feet s.itlrftollon guaranteed. Jiu.19. S ly. 1JAN. WIEAND, FRAHKLiH H. HOUGH, Salicilor of Amsr. & Fuim Patents, U25 F St., near U. S. Patent Office, WASHINGTON, D. O. All business before United States Talent Otllce attended toftu muleratelefs. Pati-uis procured In the United state and all Foreign l'nuiiui'.4. trade Mnrkiand Labtli register ed. Itejected applications revived andprns ei'uted. Information and ndvli-e ns It) ob taining Patents eli'erlu!ly furnished without charge. Send Sketch or Modi I for 1'ltKK opinion ns to Pati-ulabllity. No Agency In the C S. possesses super ior facilities for obtaining Patents or asccitaliilug the Patentabil ity of Inventions. Copies of patents furnished forSto. each. tig Correspondence solicited. cor. 4. &MS5?&ss'S, mrttMH" rgwj BITTERS x Burdock Blood Bitters Purify Ihe Blood. Burdock Blood Bitters ti tears Sound. Refreshing Sleep. Burdock Blood bitters Thai Tired. Weary Feeling. Elclc Headache. Ornts! I havebsen subject to Sick Headache for years, and li ivc tried. In vain, many advcrliieil remedies and sev eral physicians, bulall lo no purpose. At last I tned your B. U. Killers without much faith. 1 admit but to day J c m truly say, that after taking lho third bottlo I Imvo not suffered from it. I recommend it to nil my 'fi lend; several havo been cuud hy It. My litile grandson was per manently cuiedof Biliousness and Sick Headache, which vveio to bevt.ro uj la cause convulsions. They havwili ceu.eil eicce he commenced Hie use ot D.U.H. WKS. B. C. B'DLH, Ca"2", J 'wi" Count, Po.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers