" " i '. ; t The Carbon Advocate. An Independent Family Newspaper Published every ATUUOAY, Ju Lehighton, Carbon Co., Pa., by IIAUHY V. MOHTlIIIUKIt. OmcDAK.WAY, a ihort dlstauce abort tbe Lehigh Valley It. It. tepot. Terms: $1.00 perAiuinmjn Advance kvist cncsumoN or rLAissp.raxcr Job Printing at vi:n LOW TRICKS. til iu ale Advertising Rates, We desire it td be distinctly understood that no advertisements -will be Inserted lu tbe columns of TitCioie Aovooat that mar be recelved'from unknown parties or linns unless aecdinpanied by the cash. Tho following are our duly terms! nK bqoaM (10 una), One year, each insertion... ..,.. J ' Bix months, each insertion .Jets Three months, each 'nation . -A...... 20 cU. Less thanAUree months, first insertion ill each, subsequent insertion 2s eta. Sfw Cfarlum H. V. MoRTnuiEB, Proprietor. '"" ,-iIrbEPENBENT " Live aild Let Live." . 5.1.00 a Year if Paid in Advance. VOL. XL. No 20. f TJ ff vLEHIGIITON, CARBON COUNTY, PA., SATURDAY, A PUIL 7, 1883. If not paid in advance, $1.25. Local ofices 10 cents licr line. 1 j .V if irJSnTiriMP.n jpublisher. J r V,"' T -rrr m. lUrsJlElt, A.TTOBNBY ANDj COUN8M.LOII AX tAW, BSttT,t.iBioirto,P. .,...- i ..,. will nor unci BdUtrman. Physicians and Dentists. -Tpvlt. W. AV. llEBEBi ruvjsioiAri and. surgeon, MA1N,STREET,1PABBXYILLE, Pa. VTT A. UEBHAMKR, Bl l., rilYSICIAK'AND SCnOEON Special attention pl W Chronic Diseases, nfflce: South lUst corner Iron and udts..I.e hljhlon.l'a. Aprll3,I87. "JSq- D. ItEIJEK, M. D. U. 8 Examining Surgeon. "rnAonciNo physiuian anasuaacoN. onncB: ilanlc street. HEBKifa ulock, LchiKh. '"wayne consulted In tho Germ-m Language. Nov. 5t. PHYSICIAN AND.SUKOEON. May bo consultcit In Iho Oerman or English language. Orvica: Oi.poslto Uurllng's I)ru store, BANKS!., Lehlghton. I'a. Jan.lLyt W. A. Oortriglit, D.D.S., It OFFICE : Opposite the "Broadway House," Mauch Chunk, Pa. Patients have the benefit of the latest lm. provements In inch inlul appliances and !,. i..,.r mnihiil4ortru,itmcnt In all suritloal eases. NlTKOUS-OXtlB administered II d-ilred. ir possible, persons resldlmr untslde of Maach Uhunlc, should ui.iko eiignicemcnte by mall. Jl Vl C'O.NVEYANURU, AND GENERAL INSURANCE AGENT Th. fulloln Companion r Ilepietsattd! tHHA,! )N MU I'UAL FltlH, t HKAlllSO UUl'UAL i'lltE, , WYOUIAQ Flltt:. J ror-MViLfii: 1'iuB, . , Lisilliill KIUB. and thai Ha V 'KMSRs ACCIDENT INSUItANUK, Also p,nnvlTanli and Mutual Ilofso Thiol ''"it:i'veand lnurauto tuiiiaiiv. Marco:3.ts;i tiios. lcuMtULn. .QARBON HOUSE, J. W. ttAUDENHUSH, PIlOPBlETOlt, IIahkSt., LmuaitTOH, Pa. The Oahbom Ho 'an oircrs nrst-class aeenm. mo.latlous to the Travollnif public. Iloanllnn bv the Hat or Week on Rrasunablo Terms. tlholceOlgaM, Wines olid Liquors always on hand. Uoml Sheds and Stalilos. vllh atten tive Hostlers, attached. April 10-yl, jp.VCKEBlON HQTjKI.. Midway betjreen Mauoh Chunk & Lehluhton LEOPOLD 'siEYEB.J'aoriUKTon, Ipaekerton, Pcno'a. This v UJin6wnhote Is admlrablv rentted, n.i hum th , hoituccominodtLttons lor Herman. eut and transient boarders; Excellent tables and the very boat llouors' Also tine stables attaehed. t Sept. le-yt J-yiriD SJUHEUT'S Livery & Sale Stables UANIC STIlBKT.LKIIiailTON, Pa FAST TROTTING HORSES, ELEGANT CARRIAGES. And positively I.OWIMt IMtlCE than anj utuer i-ivory iu mo uojuit. Larse and' hindsomo canlaeei-for Pnneral y'iraosea aon weuuiuKS. uaviu uuar.at Nov. 21, IS7I. r J. W. RAUDENBUSH R.ppeetlully announces to the puhllo that ho has nnened a NEW LIVEHY St'AIILE In eoanectlon with his hotel, and Is prepared to rurmsn reams lor Funerals, -WBdOiiigsor .Business Trips en shortest notice and most liberal terms. All orders left at tha'-llarb in House" will reeclve prompt attention' Stable on- Nonh Si reel uextthe hotel, Lehlgbmn, an22-l DROP IN, AT TUE l Carbon Advocate OFFICE FOR Cheap Printing ! J Railroad Guide. PMMeBia ytaiiiii R. B. Arrangement of Passenger Trains. NOVEMBER, Sth. 18i Trains leave Allentown as follows : (Via Perkiomsw It ailhoad.) For Philadelphia atS.W,.43, 11.40 a.m., and 3.I0 p. m. SUNDAYS. For Philadelphia at '.OO a.m. and 3.39 p.m. (Via East Pekk IlnANCit.) For Heading ami HarrlsbuOg, 6 00, M0 a. m.. 12.14, 4.3", and 9.0J p. ra. Far Lancaster and Columbia, C.00, 1.49 a. m., aad 4 3u p. to. SUNDAYS. For Hnrrliburtr, and waypolnts, 9.0S p. m. Trains for Allentown leave as follows : (Via Pkkkiomsn Uailuoad.) Leave Philadelphia, 7.40 a. m. and 1.00, 1.35, and 5.15 p. in. SUNDAYS. Leave Philadelphia, 8.CO a. m., 3.15, and 4.20 p. m. (Via Eabt Psmr. BttANCit.) Leave Heading, 7.30, 10.16 a. m., 2.00, 3.6S, and n IS . m. Leave Harrisburg, 2", 7.60, 00 a. m., 1.(5 and 4.KI P. in. Leave Lancaster, t7.30 a. m., 1.00 and 13.40 p rn.) Leave ColamMa,7.30 a. m.,1 10and3.40p.m. ft rom King Street Dcot. SUNDAYS. Leavo Reading, 7 30 a. m. Leave llarriaburit, 6 SO a. m. Trains via "Perklomen Itallroart" marked thus () run to and Irom Depot. Ninth and (Jreon streets, Philadelphia, vthcr trains to and-from Broad street Depot. The s0 and 6.45 a. in. trains from Allen lown, end the 1 35 and MS p. m. train Irom Philadelphia, via Perklomen Knllrnad, have through cars to and Irom Philadelphia. J. E. WOOTTEN, Ucueral Manager. O.Q. IlANrODK. tlcn'l Pars'r fc Ticket Agent. November 0th JOHNR.G.WEYSSER, PROPRIETOR OF THE West End Brewery, Maucii Chunk, Pa. Pure Porter ail Lager Beer Delivered all over the State. October 8, 1881 si A NEW AND ELEGANT LINE OF locks. Watches anil Jewelry Just Beeelrcd, at HAGAMAIN'S STORE, Bank St., Lehighton, SU1TAULE FOR Holiday Presents, All of which Is being sold at such extraordin ary Low Prices that all can buy. Look for yourselves ! ! Gold nnd'Sllver Watches from 45 oo to $00 00 Qent'sUhaln 13 to 6 00 Ladles' Chains " 35 to S 00 Locket 1 00 to 20 00 Rings " 3 to 12 00 Dracelcts, Qrnts' and Ladles' Chains, llreast Ins, Ear Jewels, and a variety or other arti cles too numerous to mention, Including SILVERWARE, SPECTACLES, &o. Please call and see for yourstlves before buying elsewhere. dee2-r Central Carriage Works, Bunk St., Lehighton, Fa., Are prepared to Manufacture Carriages, Buggies, Sleighs, Spring Wagon, &c, or every description. In the most substantial manner, ana at lowest uasn rrices. Itcpalrltig Promptly Attended to. TREXLER k KREIDLER, April 24, 1182 yl Proprietors. Itewis Weiss, BANK UTREETV first store above Iron, calls attention in liisnew ami fash ionable stock 02 o O O All of which he is Selling at VERY LOW EST CASH PRICES. W An Inspection Invited and satisfaction gaaranleed In all cases. PENSIONS?: for Soldiers on any sease, wound or In. turv. Fees. 110 00 BountT, Hack Pajr, DIscharKeslor llesrrters. to.. procured. 14 years experience. Address C M. SITES si CO., tH, V Street. Washing, ton, D.O, Jan.o-lfo LAND.r' nialmsa specialty, and WAIt. ha-m im. a ) It it I ii n A li IMESTEAII "EIITirillAT. ES and all kinds of LAND SOU IPT pouaht and suld. Large Stock, and Highest Prices Dald. Do vnu want to sell or bury If so. wr. to A. A. THOMAS, Attorney at Law, & aBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBr & ssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai Washington, D, O. n.-tf. The great superiority of DR. DULL'S COUGH SYRUP over all other cough remedies is attested by the immense popular demand for that .old established remedy. For the Cure of Coughs, Colds, Hoarseness, Croup, Asthma, Bron chitis, Whooping Counh, Incipient Consumption and for the relief of I consumptive persons in advanced stages of the Disease. For Sale by all Druggists. Price, 23 cents, j A nVMTCJ wnnted.to sell Edison's Mus. nUlJl lO leal Telephone and Edison's Instantaneous Piano nnd Organ Muclc. En close stamp loreitiiliiKUO and terms, EDISON MUSIO CO., Philadelphia, Pa. dec. 24-inO. V- HE GREAT CUREa roa It-M-E-U-Sa-A-'ff-I-S-M Aa It la for all the nainful diseasca ol do K1CMEYS. L1VE1R AllD COWELS. that caaaea tbo dreadful oulXcrliic wtlciil only the vicunis of rleumatinncaarojuixe.j THniiRAMni op rAnrn of tho 'worst forma of tfela torribla laeaae' bavo beca quietly relioved, ondlnaliortl mice 41. LiqviD r pm, suld hj duigcirts. (r,l- Ttrv can ba Mnt Trma!l. . I WEU-S.RICXIAi:ifeONitCO.. llurllnrton.Vt I Itrspeetlully announces to the people of Le highton nnd Its vicinity, that he Is now pre pared tosuiply them with 'all kinds of Household Furniture M Atiufnctured from the Seasoned Mate Hull at l'rlreo fully ns towns the iumeartlcle. enn be louitht (or elsewhere. Here are a few of the Inducement offered Parlor Sets at from , $50 to &0 Walnut t-lnrble-top PrfflMnK Case HedrcMtni Suite, 3 i-lecci 10to5 Piil n led JltdriMim .Suite t)lR to tto tlno Sfat-.l tMialr", i-eriot of fl,.,, ()tminon lirt, per ret of 0 $4 anu an oiner uootia cquiuij' enrap. Inthta connection. I (teilro'tft all the at teritl'n of ihfl pertpl tn mrntnplt fjrlJUlea In THE UNDERTAKING BUSINESS with a NEW and HANDSOME HEARSE, anu a mil line oi unnncio nu uun in a, 1 am prepared to attend promptly to all or aers in mis uue. at lowesv prices. J'alronago rerpectfulty sullcited and the most ample satisiacuun guaranteed V. SOHWARTZ, octta HANK St Lehighton, fHJob Printing neatly. ! M.nlir r,A nm'mntU. fci.v fiu.tvtj ed nt this omce. Give us a I :! n,l 1. -nnvinrvirl 0 m- d' In bD 3 . r i . o I f?-25 '0 " 8-1 TETJTH WORST OF ALL. A man who sntil he was trjlug to get enoagh'taopet loftethiM' to reach Toledo yesterday, entered nu office on Qrliwold street and tofd his story, and added that his namo was Ctonar. 'Any relatbn to Julius or Augustus?" queried the citizen. . Well, no. I want to be honest and square about this .thing, and I tell yon honestly that I am not related to either.'' "Then I can't help yon any. Ton aro nothing but u common sort o' ping, and it won't make any differecoa whether yon ever get to Oleyvlaud or not. If you were' related to the great Julius I should feel in duly bound to help you." The man backed out without nnother word, aud'enterlng the office next door he walked np to the occupant with the remark: "My name Is Cros.tr, una I am closely related to Julins and Augustus. Can yon spare me ten cents to help me get to Toledo?" "Sir, you area base deceiver!" replied the other. "You are no mole relate 1 to the Ctosnrs' than I am! Had yon come In hear nnd;told we n straight, Iruthlul story I should have given you a quarter! You can 'gb, sit!" The matrweut.out, and bedelermained to tell tVa truth, nud uotbipg but truth. Ualtiug the first man who came along, he said: "Ihnve beeu telling folks that my name was" Crcsar, and that I was trying to collect niotiey enough to take uie t't Toledo. Now, the lenl' truth of the ttaltcr is that I am named Clark, and I wanted the money to buy whiskey. That' Ihe solcmu truth, and can you help me with ten cents. "Ten centsl Why, you base liar and de ceiver, ril'haud-yon over tO'the'polietT exclaimed the other. "I've told you th truth." "And it's enough to send yon np fo six monlhsl Don't you dare to ask me for money 1" The tramp sat down on a cold stone block, took his last chew of tobacco, and mused: "I've lied and I've told Ihe truth. I've, told the truth uud I've lied. I nude as mnch one way. as the other, aud uoth iug out of either. Locks now as if I'd got to play deaf auddnmborgo to worll" WHY A 0IEL PLAYED POKER. A (.light girl, dreised in black, i,th a sad tace, explained to a rfocht-ster. news-gatherer the other morniug how it' happened-that aho enaged in dmwpoker on a railway train. "You Kee,"ahe begau, "afler we left Buffalo, I found that iu some way I had lost my money, and what to do I dideu't know. I had my tickot in another pocket, and that helped matters. Two geutltnu u In the section jukt ahead of mo were playing cards. It was poker. I became quite interested in the game, for you ten I often pluyel it wiiu my brothers fur corn, and they say I play prelly well. Pretty soon I mau'o Home remark about the game, and they asked me it I wtmldu't like to 'bet hint for the fun of the thing, I said yea, and I never had micu luck. I guess they just let me win the firtt two ihree tiuies' becaus I was a lady, but ftsr that they played for what they were woit'j, and so did I. And you uever saw i equal of the cards ! held. They call ed mi once, uud nil I had was three aces an 1 a pair of nines. In that a good hand? W II, I should say so. It was good for $9 that time. Huw, much did I win in ull? Oh, somewhere between $10 aud aud $20. I bavoiiTcouuled it yet. ;A SECRET. The followiu'gtatiecdote of Alexander . Stephens, is related in the Louisville Courier-Journal: The wife of a Western Congressman was one day tiling by Mr, Stephei s bedkide, wheu ue was so very ill iu the winter of 1877. and he spoke quite freely to .her of his mother aud bis earl' life. " Why did' you .never marry? asked the lady, , "Thit'"!s my secret, he replied eva iyely.- - ' 13 ill we would all like to know it,'1 was the response. tWvll,".aai'd.he.Rrimly nnd reluct an'lv, I uever saw hut one womau I wauled to mnrrv. but she did not wat t marry me. That is a capital reason, in It uol?" I hops filie lived to regret her mis. take, remarked tlie Inn, v. Y-e-s ,' responded Mr. 8. slowly. think she did, nod so did I." Aliccck's torous Plaster C0K.KS jNvllKItKiOTIIF.il IT.AS TF.Ks ,1 AIL KVEK TOiHKLIF.V K. TakB'nootlirr orTrou itIH be dlsa pointed, Insist on bating; ALLCOOK'S Puti.t., 3(1 Noam Tn tan St.,) : February I, I8B3. I have been usipg Allcock's Tnaacs Plastkbs for a number of yrarsand always with walked benefit. I hhye been much troubled with Muscular Rheumatism have been treated by Ave of our best physicians w thout receiving any relief whatever, then used Au.coci's Fusts on the pari aQVcled and I-csn assure you that the pal has almcst entirely leR me. I run recom mend them to every one as the best plaster mid. I have Irle-i other kinds but found them worthless. B. F. GALLAGHER Weak Kidneys Cured. Coxtoocoo. N. II., ) March S, 1880. I have been greatly troubled with Itkeu tnatlsm and Wesk Kidneys, I was advised to try Aixcock's Poaocs Plistkss (bad used two 'oll(er kinds oi so called Porous Plasters, which did m no Rood), but on your worked like a charm, giving me com1 nlete relief, and I have not been troubled .wltii'Rheumatlun and' Kidney -Complaint since using thorn, and I eopslder myself 1 rured. EDWARD P. BURHIIAM. THB THUS FRIEND. (The following poem was a great favor ite with the lamented Garfield, and was of ten quoted by him. Its authorship is un known, but it will be treasured hereafter like Lincoln's lavorite poem, "Why Should the 'Spirit of Mortal be Proud t" Commend ine to the friend that comes When I am sad and lone. And makes the anguish of my heart The suUVring of bis own Who colily shuns the glittering throng At pleasure's gay levee, And comes to gild a sombre hour And give his heart to me. , lie hears me count my sorrows o'er, And when the tssk is done, Hssfreely gives me all I ask A sigh for every one. He cannot wear a smiling face when mine is touched with gloom, But like the vklet seeks to cheer The midnight with perfume. Commend file to that generous heart I, s Which, like the pine on high, Uplifts the same unvarying brow To every change of sky ; Whose friendship does not fade away When wintery tempests blow, Rut like the winter's icy crown, Looks greener through the snow. lie flies not with the flitting stork That seeks a southern sky, But lingers where the wounded bird llath laid him down to die. Oh, such a friend I lie is iu truth, Whnte'er his lot may be, A rainbow on the storm uf llle, An anchor on its sea. Selected. The Belle of Bakery. HT HELEN F01U1E.ST QBAVE3. It was not one of vour common baker- les. It was a very genteel bakery, in deed, with a solid pUte-glass window, nnd "Parties and Weddings Supplied" gilded iu uprawlmg letters across the Trout. The floor wus of chtauered mar e, and the walls we're frescoed with eacock feathers nud hilf open fans. ud Mrs. U'ggs knew nothing at all about lLo btisiiiccs." but came iu aud out of private door, and Miss Edclgitha, her daughter, was taking lessons cm the piauo, and in arraseue work, and nud 'Israeli's novels. As for Mr. Bigg's himself, he vns in visible half the day iu the subterranean region, whence be would occasionally emerge with n very red face, and bnir and whiskers powdered with flour. They ain't nothin' like the master's eye, Mr. Biggs would observe, wilh a uoblo disregard of grammar, which was peculiarly aggravating to Edelgitha, bis daughter. Then there was Mary 'Polly, " on Mr Biggs called her. Mary Biggs had "dome to visit Edelgitbn, nnd be educated ith her, when the Nuddeu death of her father left her unprovided for, and all but friendless. "She's most educated, ain't she?" said Mr. Biggs. "Del 'II put her through and make a teacher of her, cb, wife?" "Pray, Mr. Biggs, don't go to pnttioi; such nonsense into the child's beadl" said Mrs. Biggs. "It's a deal too ex pensive, aud it will be three years at least before she will be qualified to tench. And we can't board and clothe ber all that time. Let her co down into Ihe nkery nnd help you, Yon were com plaining only yesterday of boiug abort of Hands." But it's most n pity, ain't il?'' said Mr, Biggs, who was n kind-hearted soul, buch a, bright, smart little creatures P61!y is." "Pshaw!" said Mrs. Biegs. "You want bright, smart creatures, don't you? ' But I somehow calculated to give Polly the same advauttges as Edelgitba,' urged the baker, wringgliug like en nn easy eel. Then yon cnteotuted entirely with out your host." observed Mr. Biggs, tartly. "We are not Botbi-childs. and Signor Caracoli charges eighty dollars a quarter; und I've spoken to a French mum 'selle about daily lessons iu convrr Ration at n dollar a-plece. Beaid with a suddeu change of base "Miry wits (riling me, only yesterday, that she pined for something to do. She has always been used to such a verv active Ife." So Miry, in her black calico dress, wild Ihn mist of tears still heavy on ber yelids. went down into the work-rooms. to help b r unole. She was a brisk, efficient cirl. who had what Unci" Biggs cnllul "a level business head." She was a good nc conntant, nnd kept the books below ttairs; and once In a while she amnsed hersMf with making op a pile of daintr, snow-white meringues, or n butob of old. fashioned donghnnts. for the store, It was Jonely down there, to besnr. among the bnay wnrkmen,and she sighed at times when she henrd- her Cousin Edelgitba practicing the sctlea. "It Is, very ungrateful of me,'' ah said to herself. "I ought to be glad aud thankfnlto help good Uncle Biegs, And it never occurred either to Mary nrhernnrle that if she hadn't been so very mnch prettier than Edelgitba sli never would have been banished to the basement of the bakery. '.'Edelgitba must marry rich," said Mrs. Biggs. "We have prepared her t adorn any station; and Mr. Lilbnroe, certainly was very attentive when he met ber at the private view of the pic tnre gallery. I really think be likes Edelgltha." "He's a, queer .old fish!" said the baker, meditatively. "Bnt he's rich." said Mr. Biggs, 'Welt, than, let's ask him to supper and leave him and EdelRitba alone to gether afterward?" suggested Mr. Biggs. "That Is, If aha likes biro." "Biggs, don't be a room!" said Jbe lady, irritably. "You haven't a soul above one of your own flour-barrels no, nor your won't never have." So Mr. Biggs retired, and gave his whole attention lo the cbeoklug off of a load of St. Louis flour, which was being delivered at the alley-door. Mary Biggs had come up into the store to whisper one of ber uncle's mes sages to the stylish young woman behind the counter, when a servnut-glrl hurried In nud emptied about a peck of little, fl.it, brown cakes on the glass top o( the show-case. "Mr. Lllbnrne's compliments, miss,'' said she; "aud they're trashl" "Whatl'' said the sbopwomsn. "Mr. Lilburue's compliments ; and they're trashl" repeated the maid. "He s.ild they wasn't ginger-snaps at nil) they was only lard uud molasses. II wanted the kind his mother used to bake of Saturday mornings. The very lir-u one he tasted he threw on the floor." Well," remarked the shopwomau, tossing her heud, "if our ginger-snaps don't suit tbe gentleman, then it's im possible to suit bitn. That's alii" "He's beeu sick, you know," said tbe maid-servaot, apologetically. "And he's just getting better, aud bis appetite's ureaaiui uucertatu, ana Mrs. I'ugsley my niisMis-she thought she was sere to tempt him with these 'ere. 'Ginger- simps!' said he. 'Just what I've been a- lougin' for. My mother used to bake 'em for me, when I was n child. Yes, Mrs. Pugsley,' said he, "you nmy order em for me.' But,'' with a mild sigh. mUsus might ha' known the; wouldn't utt. Nothiu' stills when a geu'leman's ust off u sick bed." ' Is it Mi. Lilburne?" said Mary. "Ob, remember bim. He came here once; nud went to sleep while Edelgitba was ugiuir, 'Ob, Summer Nightl' .1 liked him. He talked to me about tbe conn, try, He knew all about calves and chickens, and crapberry swamps and robbins'-nesta. Dots he like ginger- snaps? I'll make some for liim. I know an old-fashioned receipt that is always good. Come here to-morrow, my good fcirl," to the maid, "and I'll have some ready for yon. Poor Mr. Lilburne! I'm sorry he's sick!'' . The smart shop woman stared ns superciliously as Liszt or Chopin might ave done if a village bngler had vol- tecred to them tbe first prluciples of muslo. A country-girl, like that, expect to compete with "BigRs's Celebrated Bak- erj!" Well, really, the shopwoman didn't now what tbe world was coming to. But little Polly hurried "down stairs gain to where Mr. Biggs, all powdered with flour, wns laying down tho law to some of bis" satellites. "Gluger. my" dear?" said he. "And flnnr? What you like what you like! As I was telliog you. Johnson, a barrel of prime floor has to be humored. You can't drive it. Flour is flour, and must be bandied ac ordingly," Mr. Leontdas Lilburne, stalking un easily about his sick-room, and anathe matizing the sluggish current of the hours, was secretly making up his mind to get married, ''Afler a man has once been siok in boardiug-bouse," he said to himself, he h a fool if be don't look around for home of bis own. 1 am forty next month. It's high time I was thinking of settling in life Eh. who's there?" "It's me, Bir, please!" raid Mrs. Pugs ley "with some ginger-snaps." "Pshaw!" said Mr. Lilburne. "Fling 'em out of the window! Give 'em to the dog.l I don't want any more of your city humbugs! "But please, sir, these are quite dif ferent!" Mrs. Pugsley ooaxed "made by a young woman from tbe conntry. ns works in Mr. Biggs' bakery. And I was to ask, would you be so very good as only to taste them?" "Oh, yea. I'll taste them!" said Mr. Lilburne, sarcastically. "It's no (rou ble to poison myself, just to oblige people!-' And Mrs. Pngsley, entering with nn apprehensive air, put tbe plate of round golden cakelets on the table. I really think, sir," laid she, "if you would only taste them " "Hum! ha!" slid Mr. Ltlhuroe. "These are quite a different article! These are the kind my old mother used to turn outl They're ambrosia tbey'ie food for the gods' Who made tbem, I say?'' "I I don't know, sir, I'm sure,'" said Mr. PiiRfdey, rather discomfited by this direct address. "Some young person in Mr. Biggs' bakery." Order a carriage!" said Mr. Lilburne "and bring roe my sable-trimmed overcoat nt once! Ill go and see that young woman. I don't believe there is another person on the American contin ent that can make giuger-susps like these, now. that my poor old mother is buried!" ilry Biggs came laughing np from tbe subterranean depths of Biggs' bak ery. "Oh, yes. Mr. Lilburne." said she". "I made tbe snaps! Don't you remenibtr hie Edelgttba's consin?" "B'it what are you doing down here?" demanded Mr. Lllunrne, in some amaze ment. "Earning my owp living,"' Polly promptly answered. "Aud they told me yon didn't like tbe htnre snap, so baked some after my grandmother's old receipt. " Mr. Lilbnroe looked at Polly with tie respect due to a maker of incomparable ginger-snaps, mingled with cbivalrona pity for a desolate maiden. "Miss Polly," said lie "that was what they called you, wasu't It?" "Yes," said Polly, "tbal'a my name." "Perhaps I ought to warn yon that I'm going to be a little abrupt," said be I "but I sbonld like to marry jou." 1 "Ob, deeiKsald Poily, starting W In amazement; "Iconldn'ttbink of suoh a thing!" ' 'Ys, you can," said Mr. Lilburne. "Think of It, that's all. Think of It for n weekrand then let me-know your final decision'. I'm not exactly what the world calls a gay young lover, but I can give yon good borne aud an honest, lov ing heart. Your "undo can tell you all about Leouldas Lilburne, There, won't tease you any longer. Just take my proposal into consideration, that's all." She went away, and Miry, in her per plexity, went tn among the flsur-barrals. aud t ok couusel with Uncle Bigg. Uncle," said she, "what am I to do?" "My dear," said the good roan, atrok ing her head with floury, yet not un kindly hands, "what do you tbiuk? Could you learn to like him?" "I think so," confessed Miry, with downcast ryes. "He spoke so pleasant ly to me, and he has such honest brown ejes." "Then I recommend you to say yes,'-' said Uncle Biggs. "Lilburne is a good, warm-hearted fellow, if n little ecceuttlc, and bis wife will Lea lucky wnmau." Aud he thought of Edelgitba and sighed. A week subsequently. Mr. Lilburne gavo bis landlady waruing. "I hope I haveu't failed to suit yon, sir," sh said, plaintively. "It isn't that, Mrs. Pugsley," said he. "But I'm going to be married." "I'm sure, sir, I congratulate you," said Mrs. Pugsley, faintly. "Yon may well do so, ma'am," said Mr. Lilburne. "She's as lovely as Ven us, at domestio as Dorcas, and sho makes ginger-snaps such as my poor mother once did! Yes, Mrs. Pugsley, I feel thai I have gaioed a prize." So Polly Biggs' ginger-snaps won the treasure which Miss Edelgitba's frills and French conversation had been pow erless to reach. "I really can't see what Mr. Lilburne saw to fancy in my Constn Polly!" said she, with spiteful tears. And Mrs, Biggs could not enlighten her daughter. ' H'COOK'S PASS. A man named Buz Howe, well known in the neighborhood of Bacon Creek, was early afflicted with the secession fever. and when the Confederates occupied that portion of Kentucky, the sickness assum ed a malignant form. It was" bis practli e to lie around a tavern at Bacon Slalirn, drink poor whisky, swagger, blow about Southern rights, and. insult Union mm. When, however, tho Union troops ad vanced to Kevin, and ine nonfederal' s fell back to Qreen river, Buz changed his tune. He was not disposed to take up arms in.bebalf the cause he repres n ted. In fact, to secure peace and safety at home, be expressed his willingness to "take the oatb." On.being lectured by Union men, he stated that he was only " going through tbe form, to prevent being troubled at home, thatwhen be could do good for the rebel canse he would not regard the obli gallon in tbo least. ,J- It was sometime before Buz could get a Uuion man to go to the camp with him, but finally, in company with encb, .ho called on Geneial McCook, and asked for tbe privilege of biking tho oath and obtaining a pass, The General knew bis man, end addres sing the Union man, who accompanied him, said: "Administer the oath to him a ready traitor to bis country 1 What regard do you suppose he would have for the sol. earn obligations of the oath? A man, sir, who would betray his country, has no respect for his oath." Buz turned pale. Tbe truth cnt bim deep, and ha began to see that bis time had come. The General absolutely refused to haye tbe oatb administered, or to grant opass. He could not get out of camp without some sort of a document, and he be sought the interference of those whom he had so greatly cursed, pnrsued, and abnsed, when tby were without pro It c- tion. At last General McCook agreed to pass him out of camp, and gave him document -which read something in tbis way: "To the guards and pickets. The bearer is a traitor to bis country l-ass bim out; in doing so, mark him "well, and if yon see him hereafter prowling about our lines, sboot bim at once," Tbis pass' the brawling disnnionist bad to show tothe'whole Hoe of guards and pickets, who all marked him well before they let him pass, Tuough be bad previously been at Baoon Creek every day. be was not known to show his 'bacon' thero again. Ous Interview with General McCook caused him to subside. 'Doctor' McCook's medioine was ihe ouly kind that proved a cure in such casts. It is only when a ben is cooked that she sets well on one's stomach. No uiitter how large tbe amount gas bills are always light ones. An Ohio woman 32 years old bas Kued a boy of 18 years for breasb of promise. Cincinnati milkmen believe Just tbe great flood is a judgment upou tbem w-I tbiok. it not putt to dispute where there is no probabllty of convincing. ' Speculation is.wrong And if tbe t'S' is left off it becomes positively wicked. Our deeds determine us as much as we determiue our deeds. -The most mauifest sign of wisdom Is continued cheerfulness, Over two tons of hair-pins are tamed out dally by the factories. There is always ground for com- plaiut ii) swamp neighborhood. It ougbt to be a cold day when summer get left- -rBlrds of a feather flock on new bon ds together. high igb toned. COHUNDRUMB. , What Is a button t A small eyent that Is always coming off, ' " ' 11 When Is coffee like the soil T When It Is ground. What snimsls are' sdmitttd to the opera! Tuppirs and while kids; ' What Instrument of war does an angry lover resemUoT A cross-bow. Why Is a dead doctor like s dead duckt Because they are both done qpnckjng. . why are fatigued person like a wsgon wheel ? Because thev are always tired. -What giyrs a cold, cures a cold, and pays the doctor's hill t A 'draft, (draught.) -Why is a bootblack" like an' editor? Because be polishes the understandings of his patrons. Why nro potatoes and corn like 'certain sinners of old ? Because having eye, they see not j and having eats, tliey bear sot. Why is a pretty girl like a ocnmolIye? Because she sends oil' the sparks, transports tbe mails, and lias a train following her. What an the most unsociable things in the world 1 Mile stones ; fur you neyef see two uf them, together. Things It Would be Funny to See. A nine dollar bill. Coal st $3 per ton, A dollar in a contribution box. A whistle made out of a pig's (all. A good Templer who don't drink. A linker hand which beats four aces. A mull who drinks nothing but water. A saloon mauwhois not nuking money. A mde benring less than olghi'percent. interest. Au unmarried man who can say money at $12 a week. -A tailor who can have a suit of clothes done when promised. A lawyer who can keep his promise when there is no money in it. x A woman who will not claim her baby as the prettiest eyer born. A newspaper man who will knowing ly draw on his imagination for facts. Gas at $2.1.0, per thousand feel, and a meter tlist won't register as. much in the summer when not in constant use as it does when gas is flowing through it, DON'T STEP ON A ROLLING STORE 1 That is what Captain Allen of tho Fire Department of Worcester did, nud that was how be hurt his ankle so'kadly. After tbo doctor set the broken bone. Captain Allen used I'skrt Pa vis's Paix Kills a a lini ment. The suffering was soduover,nd'the Captain was well in a short time. Know- ng the accidents to.which fireman are couitautly subject, Captain Allen advises everybody connected with a Firel Depart ment to keep a bottle of Fain Kills al ways ou band. An appropriate namo for a bulldog Agrippa. ' The medal-some scbvlar doesn't take the prixe. A corset is nothing more or less than a waist basket. ' A cynical old bachelor says It is called courlsliip because it is often followed by shipwreck. A young man whose girl's name was Susan, said liiut when he left Ihe world he wanted tu do so by suey's side. , An advertiser says: IIuuds(wonted on calico waists. All right, If it is a pretty fig ure hero's one pair of hands. , "BDCHUPAIBA." Quick, complete cure; all. uu'noying Kid ney, Bladder and brniuary Diseases.? $1 Druggists. A plumber, who was alxiut'to dleuid . "My only regret about dying Is because I am goiug where water-pipes never frets up." "Ma," be said at dinner, "who was Charlotte RusseT" "Olij" said ma.'she was one of them old queens- who made trouble during the restoration." ' A blind pauper imp!ored"a' trsmp for Ihe gift of an old pair, of pints. "Great Scott 1" exclaimed the seedy wandtrerf "do as I do, gst your drawers ilyedA'i A stand fell dowu wilh a crash, A number of men it did mash, But the entire ten Were soon well again St. Jacobs Oil cured every gash. A baker who lives in Dulutb, Went crary one night, with tooth He rubbed the gum boil, A r With St. Jacobs Oil. It cured bim, end this Is the truth Calo dfd'not beein tn learn the d reek language until he was eighty-four years of age. The excuso for his beginning en It then was '.bat he had 'entered' bis second childhood. -Why do good little children go to heaven when they die? asked the teacher. "Because" answered the bright boy at the nead of the class, "becaUM 'its' unsafe In trust children in a place whero there's Ere." "No, sir," said the gentleman, 1 am uotbrufsl in disposition 'and tastes;- rut I hate hypocrisy iii man or beast, and it' tw. dogs bate a mbled onlilliy for each ether I dou'tlike to see 'tin conceal IK" fiSt-IIoods, scarfs, ribbons and any farcy articles can be mad; any p-tlor wanled.with the Diamond Dyes, AM lb popular plors- -Reach me dnwrr that Webster, Pat," said one of our lately oleclecf Judges to his elerk. "Onenflliim thaivln'e newspapers has been libelling ma Snd, be 'jabbers, I won't stiOd It. The thavlflg black fuird rails me a forsenia Jight.f Rome time ago, a ver'y.lnhoeent young lady pnli! a visit t.j a Jsdy frjpnJ, whoa fa days before, bad. presented her k'Kh! mau with s su. Sha,had,pfepurc, iad .to sea baby. After lookjngbaid at the lillje strang er some lime, she remaikcd, i '-Dear ma, Maggie, how sunburnt it fs." . The great desire of tbe grasping men e this generation is to get something for noth. ing. -rTha.Duk and Duohss ,ef .Cennaught are travelling through Prance as Hr. and Mrs. Sussex. , - ' : t -rA Dejrpit man pbiya h)lHayd.s wifh hi, .now. His olfactory organ, U. composed of whacks, VnaniLn, Iu-a Dr. J. L. 1ytr niyn"BMwn'i1r'rt Bitf lithe best Iron: tM,f77it,MLJrtetIi;i' .' 4
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers