" " i '. ; t
The Carbon Advocate.
An Independent Family Newspaper
Published every ATUUOAY, Ju
Lehighton, Carbon Co., Pa., by
IIAUHY V. MOHTlIIIUKIt.
OmcDAK.WAY, a ihort dlstauce abort
tbe Lehigh Valley It. It. tepot.
Terms: $1.00 perAiuinmjn Advance
kvist cncsumoN or rLAissp.raxcr
Job Printing
at vi:n LOW TRICKS.
til iu ale
Advertising Rates,
We desire it td be distinctly understood
that no advertisements -will be Inserted lu
tbe columns of TitCioie Aovooat that
mar be recelved'from unknown parties or
linns unless aecdinpanied by the cash.
Tho following are our duly terms!
nK bqoaM (10 una),
One year, each insertion... ..,.. J '
Bix months, each insertion .Jets
Three months, each 'nation . -A...... 20 cU.
Less thanAUree months, first insertion
ill each, subsequent insertion 2s eta.
Sfw
Cfarlum
H. V. MoRTnuiEB, Proprietor. '"" ,-iIrbEPENBENT " Live aild Let Live." . 5.1.00 a Year if Paid in Advance.
VOL. XL. No 20. f TJ ff vLEHIGIITON, CARBON COUNTY, PA., SATURDAY, A PUIL 7, 1883. If not paid in advance, $1.25.
Local ofices 10 cents licr line. 1 j
.V if irJSnTiriMP.n jpublisher. J
r V,"' T
-rrr m. lUrsJlElt,
A.TTOBNBY ANDj COUN8M.LOII AX tAW,
BSttT,t.iBioirto,P.
.,...- i ..,. will nor unci
BdUtrman.
Physicians and Dentists.
-Tpvlt. W. AV. llEBEBi
ruvjsioiAri and. surgeon,
MA1N,STREET,1PABBXYILLE, Pa.
VTT A. UEBHAMKR, Bl l.,
rilYSICIAK'AND SCnOEON
Special attention pl W Chronic Diseases,
nfflce: South lUst corner Iron and udts..I.e
hljhlon.l'a. Aprll3,I87.
"JSq- D. ItEIJEK, M. D.
U. 8 Examining Surgeon.
"rnAonciNo physiuian anasuaacoN.
onncB: ilanlc street. HEBKifa ulock, LchiKh.
'"wayne consulted In tho Germ-m Language.
Nov. 5t.
PHYSICIAN AND.SUKOEON.
May bo consultcit In Iho Oerman or English
language.
Orvica: Oi.poslto Uurllng's I)ru store,
BANKS!., Lehlghton. I'a. Jan.lLyt
W. A. Oortriglit, D.D.S.,
It
OFFICE : Opposite the "Broadway House,"
Mauch Chunk, Pa.
Patients have the benefit of the latest lm.
provements In inch inlul appliances and
!,. i..,.r mnihiil4ortru,itmcnt In all suritloal
eases. NlTKOUS-OXtlB administered II
d-ilred. ir possible, persons resldlmr untslde
of Maach Uhunlc, should ui.iko eiignicemcnte
by mall. Jl Vl
C'O.NVEYANURU,
AND
GENERAL INSURANCE AGENT
Th. fulloln Companion r Ilepietsattd!
tHHA,! )N MU I'UAL FltlH,
t HKAlllSO UUl'UAL i'lltE,
, WYOUIAQ Flltt:.
J ror-MViLfii: 1'iuB,
. , Lisilliill KIUB. and thai Ha V
'KMSRs ACCIDENT INSUItANUK,
Also p,nnvlTanli and Mutual Ilofso Thiol
''"it:i'veand lnurauto tuiiiaiiv.
Marco:3.ts;i tiios. lcuMtULn.
.QARBON HOUSE,
J. W. ttAUDENHUSH, PIlOPBlETOlt,
IIahkSt., LmuaitTOH, Pa.
The Oahbom Ho 'an oircrs nrst-class aeenm.
mo.latlous to the Travollnif public. Iloanllnn
bv the Hat or Week on Rrasunablo Terms.
tlholceOlgaM, Wines olid Liquors always on
hand. Uoml Sheds and Stalilos. vllh atten
tive Hostlers, attached. April 10-yl,
jp.VCKEBlON HQTjKI..
Midway betjreen Mauoh Chunk & Lehluhton
LEOPOLD 'siEYEB.J'aoriUKTon,
Ipaekerton, Pcno'a.
This v UJin6wnhote Is admlrablv rentted,
n.i hum th , hoituccominodtLttons lor Herman.
eut and transient boarders; Excellent tables
and the very boat llouors' Also tine stables
attaehed. t Sept. le-yt
J-yiriD SJUHEUT'S
Livery & Sale Stables
UANIC STIlBKT.LKIIiailTON, Pa
FAST TROTTING HORSES,
ELEGANT CARRIAGES.
And positively I.OWIMt IMtlCE than anj
utuer i-ivory iu mo uojuit.
Larse and' hindsomo canlaeei-for Pnneral
y'iraosea aon weuuiuKS. uaviu uuar.at
Nov. 21, IS7I.
r J. W. RAUDENBUSH
R.ppeetlully announces to the puhllo that ho
has nnened a NEW LIVEHY St'AIILE In
eoanectlon with his hotel, and Is prepared to
rurmsn reams lor
Funerals, -WBdOiiigsor .Business Trips
en shortest notice and most liberal terms. All
orders left at tha'-llarb in House" will reeclve
prompt attention' Stable on- Nonh Si reel
uextthe hotel, Lehlgbmn, an22-l
DROP IN, AT TUE l
Carbon Advocate
OFFICE FOR
Cheap Printing ! J
Railroad Guide.
PMMeBia ytaiiiii R. B.
Arrangement of Passenger Trains.
NOVEMBER, Sth. 18i
Trains leave Allentown as follows :
(Via Perkiomsw It ailhoad.)
For Philadelphia atS.W,.43, 11.40 a.m.,
and 3.I0 p. m.
SUNDAYS.
For Philadelphia at '.OO a.m. and 3.39 p.m.
(Via East Pekk IlnANCit.)
For Heading ami HarrlsbuOg, 6 00, M0 a.
m.. 12.14, 4.3", and 9.0J p. ra.
Far Lancaster and Columbia, C.00, 1.49 a.
m., aad 4 3u p. to.
SUNDAYS.
For Hnrrliburtr, and waypolnts, 9.0S p. m.
Trains for Allentown leave as follows :
(Via Pkkkiomsn Uailuoad.)
Leave Philadelphia, 7.40 a. m. and 1.00,
1.35, and 5.15 p. in.
SUNDAYS.
Leave Philadelphia, 8.CO a. m., 3.15, and
4.20 p. m.
(Via Eabt Psmr. BttANCit.)
Leave Heading, 7.30, 10.16 a. m., 2.00, 3.6S,
and n IS . m.
Leave Harrisburg, 2", 7.60, 00 a. m., 1.(5
and 4.KI P. in.
Leave Lancaster, t7.30 a. m., 1.00 and 13.40
p rn.)
Leave ColamMa,7.30 a. m.,1 10and3.40p.m.
ft rom King Street Dcot.
SUNDAYS.
Leavo Reading, 7 30 a. m.
Leave llarriaburit, 6 SO a. m.
Trains via "Perklomen Itallroart" marked
thus () run to and Irom Depot. Ninth and
(Jreon streets, Philadelphia, vthcr trains to
and-from Broad street Depot.
The s0 and 6.45 a. in. trains from Allen
lown, end the 1 35 and MS p. m. train Irom
Philadelphia, via Perklomen Knllrnad, have
through cars to and Irom Philadelphia.
J. E. WOOTTEN,
Ucueral Manager.
O.Q. IlANrODK.
tlcn'l Pars'r fc Ticket Agent.
November 0th
JOHNR.G.WEYSSER,
PROPRIETOR OF THE
West End Brewery,
Maucii Chunk, Pa.
Pure Porter ail Lager Beer
Delivered all over the State.
October 8, 1881 si
A NEW AND ELEGANT LINE OF
locks. Watches anil Jewelry
Just Beeelrcd, at
HAGAMAIN'S STORE,
Bank St., Lehighton,
SU1TAULE FOR
Holiday Presents,
All of which Is being sold at such extraordin
ary Low Prices that all can buy.
Look for yourselves ! !
Gold nnd'Sllver Watches from 45 oo to $00 00
Qent'sUhaln 13 to 6 00
Ladles' Chains " 35 to S 00
Locket 1 00 to 20 00
Rings " 3 to 12 00
Dracelcts, Qrnts' and Ladles' Chains, llreast
Ins, Ear Jewels, and a variety or other arti
cles too numerous to mention, Including
SILVERWARE,
SPECTACLES, &o.
Please call and see for yourstlves before
buying elsewhere. dee2-r
Central Carriage Works,
Bunk St., Lehighton, Fa.,
Are prepared to Manufacture
Carriages, Buggies, Sleighs,
Spring Wagon, &c,
or every description. In the most substantial
manner, ana at lowest uasn rrices.
Itcpalrltig Promptly Attended to.
TREXLER k KREIDLER,
April 24, 1182 yl Proprietors.
Itewis Weiss,
BANK UTREETV first store above Iron,
calls attention in liisnew ami fash
ionable stock
02
o
O
O
All of which he is Selling at VERY LOW
EST CASH PRICES.
W An Inspection Invited and satisfaction
gaaranleed In all cases.
PENSIONS?:
for Soldiers on any
sease, wound or In.
turv. Fees. 110 00
BountT, Hack Pajr, DIscharKeslor llesrrters.
to.. procured. 14 years experience. Address
C M. SITES si CO., tH, V Street. Washing,
ton, D.O, Jan.o-lfo
LAND.r'
nialmsa specialty, and WAIt.
ha-m im. a ) It it I ii n A li
IMESTEAII "EIITirillAT.
ES and all kinds of LAND SOU
IPT pouaht
and suld. Large Stock, and Highest Prices
Dald. Do vnu want to sell or bury If so.
wr. to A. A. THOMAS, Attorney at Law,
&
aBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBr &
ssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai
Washington, D, O.
n.-tf.
The great superiority of DR.
DULL'S COUGH SYRUP over
all other cough remedies is attested
by the immense popular demand
for that .old established remedy.
For the Cure of Coughs, Colds,
Hoarseness, Croup, Asthma, Bron
chitis, Whooping Counh, Incipient
Consumption and for the relief of I
consumptive persons in advanced
stages of the Disease. For Sale
by all Druggists. Price, 23 cents, j
A nVMTCJ wnnted.to sell Edison's Mus.
nUlJl lO leal Telephone and Edison's
Instantaneous Piano nnd Organ Muclc. En
close stamp loreitiiliiKUO and terms,
EDISON MUSIO CO., Philadelphia, Pa.
dec. 24-inO.
V-
HE GREAT CUREa
roa
It-M-E-U-Sa-A-'ff-I-S-M
Aa It la for all the nainful diseasca ol do
K1CMEYS. L1VE1R AllD COWELS.
that caaaea tbo dreadful oulXcrliic wtlciil
only the vicunis of rleumatinncaarojuixe.j
THniiRAMni op rAnrn
of tho 'worst forma of tfela torribla laeaae'
bavo beca quietly relioved, ondlnaliortl
mice 41. LiqviD r pm, suld hj duigcirts.
(r,l- Ttrv can ba Mnt Trma!l. . I
WEU-S.RICXIAi:ifeONitCO.. llurllnrton.Vt I
Itrspeetlully announces to the people of Le
highton nnd Its vicinity, that he Is now pre
pared tosuiply them with 'all kinds of
Household Furniture
M Atiufnctured from the Seasoned Mate
Hull at l'rlreo fully ns towns the iumeartlcle.
enn be louitht (or elsewhere. Here are a few
of the Inducement offered
Parlor Sets at from , $50 to &0
Walnut t-lnrble-top PrfflMnK Case
HedrcMtni Suite, 3 i-lecci 10to5
Piil n led JltdriMim .Suite t)lR to tto
tlno Sfat-.l tMialr", i-eriot of fl,.,,
()tminon lirt, per ret of 0 $4
anu an oiner uootia cquiuij' enrap.
Inthta connection. I (teilro'tft all the at
teritl'n of ihfl pertpl tn mrntnplt fjrlJUlea In
THE UNDERTAKING BUSINESS
with a NEW and HANDSOME HEARSE,
anu a mil line oi unnncio nu uun in a,
1 am prepared to attend promptly to all or
aers in mis uue. at lowesv prices.
J'alronago rerpectfulty sullcited and the
most ample satisiacuun guaranteed
V. SOHWARTZ,
octta HANK St Lehighton,
fHJob Printing neatly.
! M.nlir r,A nm'mntU.
fci.v fiu.tvtj
ed nt this omce. Give us a
I :! n,l 1. -nnvinrvirl
0 m- d' In
bD 3 .
r i . o
I f?-25 '0
" 8-1
TETJTH WORST OF ALL.
A man who sntil he was trjlug to get
enoagh'taopet loftethiM' to reach Toledo
yesterday, entered nu office on Qrliwold
street and tofd his story, and added that
his namo was Ctonar.
'Any relatbn to Julius or Augustus?"
queried the citizen. .
Well, no. I want to be honest and
square about this .thing, and I tell yon
honestly that I am not related to either.''
"Then I can't help yon any. Ton aro
nothing but u common sort o' ping, and
it won't make any differecoa whether
yon ever get to Oleyvlaud or not. If you
were' related to the great Julius I should
feel in duly bound to help you."
The man backed out without nnother
word, aud'enterlng the office next door
he walked np to the occupant with the
remark: "My name Is Cros.tr, una I am
closely related to Julins and Augustus.
Can yon spare me ten cents to help me
get to Toledo?"
"Sir, you area base deceiver!" replied
the other. "You are no mole relate 1 to
the Ctosnrs' than I am! Had yon come
In hear nnd;told we n straight, Iruthlul
story I should have given you a quarter!
You can 'gb, sit!"
The matrweut.out, and bedelermained
to tell tVa truth, nud uotbipg but truth.
Ualtiug the first man who came along,
he said:
"Ihnve beeu telling folks that my
name was" Crcsar, and that I was trying
to collect niotiey enough to take uie t't
Toledo. Now, the lenl' truth of the
ttaltcr is that I am named Clark, and I
wanted the money to buy whiskey. That'
Ihe solcmu truth, and can you help me
with ten cents.
"Ten centsl Why, you base liar and de
ceiver, ril'haud-yon over tO'the'polietT
exclaimed the other.
"I've told you th truth."
"And it's enough to send yon np fo
six monlhsl Don't you dare to ask me
for money 1"
The tramp sat down on a cold stone
block, took his last chew of tobacco, and
mused:
"I've lied and I've told Ihe truth. I've,
told the truth uud I've lied. I nude
as mnch one way. as the other, aud uoth
iug out of either. Locks now as if I'd
got to play deaf auddnmborgo to worll"
WHY A 0IEL PLAYED POKER.
A (.light girl, dreised in black, i,th a
sad tace, explained to a rfocht-ster.
news-gatherer the other morniug how it'
happened-that aho enaged in dmwpoker
on a railway train. "You Kee,"ahe begau,
"afler we left Buffalo, I found that iu
some way I had lost my money, and
what to do I dideu't know. I had my
tickot in another pocket, and that helped
matters. Two geutltnu u In the section
jukt ahead of mo were playing cards. It
was poker. I became quite interested
in the game, for you ten I often pluyel
it wiiu my brothers fur corn, and they
say I play prelly well. Pretty soon I
mau'o Home remark about the game, and
they asked me it I wtmldu't like to 'bet
hint for the fun of the thing, I
said yea, and I never had micu luck. I
guess they just let me win the firtt two
ihree tiuies' becaus I was a lady, but
ftsr that they played for what they were
woit'j, and so did I. And you uever saw
i equal of the cards ! held. They call
ed mi once, uud nil I had was three aces
an 1 a pair of nines. In that a good hand?
W II, I should say so. It was good for
$9 that time. Huw, much did I win in
ull? Oh, somewhere between $10 aud
aud $20. I bavoiiTcouuled it yet.
;A SECRET.
The followiu'gtatiecdote of Alexander
. Stephens, is related in the Louisville
Courier-Journal: The wife of a Western
Congressman was one day tiling by Mr,
Stephei s bedkide, wheu ue was so very
ill iu the winter of 1877. and he spoke
quite freely to .her of his mother aud bis
earl' life.
" Why did' you .never marry? asked
the lady, ,
"Thit'"!s my secret, he replied eva
iyely.- - '
13 ill we would all like to know it,'1
was the response.
tWvll,".aai'd.he.Rrimly nnd reluct
an'lv, I uever saw hut one womau I
wauled to mnrrv. but she did not wat t
marry me. That is a capital reason, in
It uol?"
I hops filie lived to regret her mis.
take, remarked tlie Inn, v.
Y-e-s ,' responded Mr. 8. slowly.
think she did, nod so did I."
Aliccck's torous Plaster
C0K.KS jNvllKItKiOTIIF.il IT.AS
TF.Ks ,1 AIL KVEK TOiHKLIF.V K.
TakB'nootlirr orTrou itIH be dlsa
pointed, Insist on bating;
ALLCOOK'S
Puti.t., 3(1 Noam Tn tan St.,)
: February I, I8B3.
I have been usipg Allcock's Tnaacs
Plastkbs for a number of yrarsand always
with walked benefit. I hhye been much
troubled with Muscular Rheumatism have
been treated by Ave of our best physicians
w thout receiving any relief whatever,
then used Au.coci's Fusts on the pari
aQVcled and I-csn assure you that the pal
has almcst entirely leR me. I run recom
mend them to every one as the best plaster
mid. I have Irle-i other kinds but found
them worthless.
B. F. GALLAGHER
Weak Kidneys Cured.
Coxtoocoo. N. II., )
March S, 1880.
I have been greatly troubled with Itkeu
tnatlsm and Wesk Kidneys, I was advised
to try Aixcock's Poaocs Plistkss (bad
used two 'oll(er kinds oi so called Porous
Plasters, which did m no Rood), but on
your worked like a charm, giving me com1
nlete relief, and I have not been troubled
.wltii'Rheumatlun and' Kidney -Complaint
since using thorn, and I eopslder myself
1 rured. EDWARD P. BURHIIAM.
THB THUS FRIEND.
(The following poem was a great favor
ite with the lamented Garfield, and was of
ten quoted by him. Its authorship is un
known, but it will be treasured hereafter
like Lincoln's lavorite poem, "Why Should
the 'Spirit of Mortal be Proud t"
Commend ine to the friend that comes
When I am sad and lone.
And makes the anguish of my heart
The suUVring of bis own
Who colily shuns the glittering throng
At pleasure's gay levee,
And comes to gild a sombre hour
And give his heart to me.
, lie hears me count my sorrows o'er,
And when the tssk is done,
Hssfreely gives me all I ask
A sigh for every one.
He cannot wear a smiling face
when mine is touched with gloom,
But like the vklet seeks to cheer
The midnight with perfume.
Commend file to that generous heart
I, s Which, like the pine on high,
Uplifts the same unvarying brow
To every change of sky ;
Whose friendship does not fade away
When wintery tempests blow,
Rut like the winter's icy crown,
Looks greener through the snow.
lie flies not with the flitting stork
That seeks a southern sky,
But lingers where the wounded bird
llath laid him down to die.
Oh, such a friend I lie is iu truth,
Whnte'er his lot may be,
A rainbow on the storm uf llle,
An anchor on its sea.
Selected.
The Belle of Bakery.
HT HELEN F01U1E.ST QBAVE3.
It was not one of vour common baker-
les. It was a very genteel bakery, in
deed, with a solid pUte-glass window,
nnd "Parties and Weddings Supplied"
gilded iu uprawlmg letters across the
Trout. The floor wus of chtauered mar
e, and the walls we're frescoed with
eacock feathers nud hilf open fans.
ud Mrs. U'ggs knew nothing at all about
lLo btisiiiccs." but came iu aud out of
private door, and Miss Edclgitha, her
daughter, was taking lessons cm the
piauo, and in arraseue work, and nud
'Israeli's novels.
As for Mr. Bigg's himself, he vns in
visible half the day iu the subterranean
region, whence be would occasionally
emerge with n very red face, and bnir
and whiskers powdered with flour.
They ain't nothin' like the master's
eye, Mr. Biggs would observe, wilh a
uoblo disregard of grammar, which was
peculiarly aggravating to Edelgitha, bis
daughter.
Then there was Mary 'Polly, " on
Mr Biggs called her. Mary Biggs had
"dome to visit Edelgitbn, nnd be educated
ith her, when the Nuddeu death of her
father left her unprovided for, and all
but friendless.
"She's most educated, ain't she?" said
Mr. Biggs. "Del 'II put her through and
make a teacher of her, cb, wife?"
"Pray, Mr. Biggs, don't go to pnttioi;
such nonsense into the child's beadl"
said Mrs. Biggs. "It's a deal too ex
pensive, aud it will be three years at
least before she will be qualified to tench.
And we can't board and clothe ber all
that time. Let her co down into Ihe
nkery nnd help you, Yon were com
plaining only yesterday of boiug abort of
Hands."
But it's most n pity, ain't il?'' said
Mr, Biggs, who was n kind-hearted soul,
buch a, bright, smart little creatures
P61!y is."
"Pshaw!" said Mrs. Biegs. "You
want bright, smart creatures, don't
you? '
But I somehow calculated to give
Polly the same advauttges as Edelgitba,'
urged the baker, wringgliug like en nn
easy eel.
Then yon cnteotuted entirely with
out your host." observed Mr. Biggs,
tartly. "We are not Botbi-childs. and
Signor Caracoli charges eighty dollars a
quarter; und I've spoken to a French
mum 'selle about daily lessons iu convrr
Ration at n dollar a-plece. Beaid
with a suddeu change of base "Miry
wits (riling me, only yesterday, that she
pined for something to do. She has
always been used to such a verv active
Ife."
So Miry, in her black calico dress,
wild Ihn mist of tears still heavy on ber
yelids. went down into the work-rooms.
to help b r unole.
She was a brisk, efficient cirl. who
had what Unci" Biggs cnllul "a level
business head." She was a good nc
conntant, nnd kept the books below
ttairs; and once In a while she amnsed
hersMf with making op a pile of daintr,
snow-white meringues, or n butob of
old. fashioned donghnnts. for the store,
It was Jonely down there, to besnr.
among the bnay wnrkmen,and she sighed
at times when she henrd- her Cousin
Edelgitba practicing the sctlea.
"It Is, very ungrateful of me,'' ah
said to herself. "I ought to be glad
aud thankfnlto help good Uncle Biegs,
And it never occurred either to Mary
nrhernnrle that if she hadn't been so
very mnch prettier than Edelgitba sli
never would have been banished to the
basement of the bakery.
'.'Edelgitba must marry rich," said
Mrs. Biggs. "We have prepared her t
adorn any station; and Mr. Lilbnroe,
certainly was very attentive when he
met ber at the private view of the pic
tnre gallery. I really think be likes
Edelgltha."
"He's a, queer .old fish!" said the baker,
meditatively.
"Bnt he's rich." said Mr. Biggs,
'Welt, than, let's ask him to supper
and leave him and EdelRitba alone to
gether afterward?" suggested Mr. Biggs.
"That Is, If aha likes biro."
"Biggs, don't be a room!" said Jbe
lady, irritably. "You haven't a soul
above one of your own flour-barrels no,
nor your won't never have."
So Mr. Biggs retired, and gave his
whole attention lo the cbeoklug off of a
load of St. Louis flour, which was being
delivered at the alley-door.
Mary Biggs had come up into the
store to whisper one of ber uncle's mes
sages to the stylish young woman behind
the counter, when a servnut-glrl hurried
In nud emptied about a peck of little,
fl.it, brown cakes on the glass top o( the
show-case.
"Mr. Lllbnrne's compliments, miss,''
said she; "aud they're trashl"
"Whatl'' said the sbopwomsn.
"Mr. Lilburue's compliments ; and
they're trashl" repeated the maid. "He
s.ild they wasn't ginger-snaps at nil)
they was only lard uud molasses. II
wanted the kind his mother used to bake
of Saturday mornings. The very lir-u
one he tasted he threw on the floor."
Well," remarked the shopwomau,
tossing her heud, "if our ginger-snaps
don't suit tbe gentleman, then it's im
possible to suit bitn. That's alii"
"He's beeu sick, you know," said tbe
maid-servaot, apologetically. "And he's
just getting better, aud bis appetite's
ureaaiui uucertatu, ana Mrs. I'ugsley
my niisMis-she thought she was sere to
tempt him with these 'ere. 'Ginger-
simps!' said he. 'Just what I've been a-
lougin' for. My mother used to bake
'em for me, when I was n child. Yes,
Mrs. Pugsley,' said he, "you nmy order
em for me.' But,'' with a mild sigh.
mUsus might ha' known the; wouldn't
utt. Nothiu' stills when a geu'leman's
ust off u sick bed."
' Is it Mi. Lilburne?" said Mary. "Ob,
remember bim. He came here once;
nud went to sleep while Edelgitba was
ugiuir, 'Ob, Summer Nightl' .1 liked
him. He talked to me about tbe conn,
try, He knew all about calves and
chickens, and crapberry swamps and
robbins'-nesta. Dots he like ginger-
snaps? I'll make some for liim. I know
an old-fashioned receipt that is always
good. Come here to-morrow, my good
fcirl," to the maid, "and I'll have some
ready for yon. Poor Mr. Lilburne! I'm
sorry he's sick!'' .
The smart shop woman stared ns
superciliously as Liszt or Chopin might
ave done if a village bngler had vol-
tecred to them tbe first prluciples of
muslo.
A country-girl, like that, expect to
compete with "BigRs's Celebrated Bak-
erj!" Well, really, the shopwoman didn't
now what tbe world was coming to.
But little Polly hurried "down stairs
gain to where Mr. Biggs, all powdered
with flour, wns laying down tho law to
some of bis" satellites.
"Gluger. my" dear?" said he. "And
flnnr? What you like what you like!
As I was telliog you. Johnson, a barrel
of prime floor has to be humored. You
can't drive it. Flour is flour, and must
be bandied ac ordingly,"
Mr. Leontdas Lilburne, stalking un
easily about his sick-room, and anathe
matizing the sluggish current of the
hours, was secretly making up his mind
to get married,
''Afler a man has once been siok in
boardiug-bouse," he said to himself,
he h a fool if be don't look around for
home of bis own. 1 am forty next
month. It's high time I was thinking of
settling in life Eh. who's there?"
"It's me, Bir, please!" raid Mrs. Pugs
ley "with some ginger-snaps."
"Pshaw!" said Mr. Lilburne. "Fling
'em out of the window! Give 'em to the
dog.l I don't want any more of your city
humbugs!
"But please, sir, these are quite dif
ferent!" Mrs. Pugsley ooaxed "made
by a young woman from tbe conntry. ns
works in Mr. Biggs' bakery. And I was
to ask, would you be so very good as only
to taste them?"
"Oh, yea. I'll taste them!" said Mr.
Lilburne, sarcastically. "It's no (rou
ble to poison myself, just to oblige
people!-'
And Mrs. Pngsley, entering with nn
apprehensive air, put tbe plate of round
golden cakelets on the table.
I really think, sir," laid she, "if you
would only taste them "
"Hum! ha!" slid Mr. Ltlhuroe.
"These are quite a different article!
These are the kind my old mother used
to turn outl They're ambrosia tbey'ie
food for the gods' Who made tbem, I
say?''
"I I don't know, sir, I'm sure,'" said
Mr. PiiRfdey, rather discomfited by this
direct address. "Some young person in
Mr. Biggs' bakery."
Order a carriage!" said Mr. Lilburne
"and bring roe my sable-trimmed
overcoat nt once! Ill go and see that
young woman. I don't believe there is
another person on the American contin
ent that can make giuger-susps like
these, now. that my poor old mother is
buried!"
ilry Biggs came laughing np from
tbe subterranean depths of Biggs' bak
ery.
"Oh, yes. Mr. Lilburne." said she". "I
made tbe snaps! Don't you remenibtr
hie Edelgttba's consin?"
"B'it what are you doing down here?"
demanded Mr. Lllunrne, in some amaze
ment.
"Earning my owp living,"' Polly
promptly answered. "Aud they told me
yon didn't like tbe htnre snap, so
baked some after my grandmother's old
receipt. "
Mr. Lilbnroe looked at Polly with tie
respect due to a maker of incomparable
ginger-snaps, mingled with cbivalrona
pity for a desolate maiden.
"Miss Polly," said lie "that was what
they called you, wasu't It?"
"Yes," said Polly, "tbal'a my name."
"Perhaps I ought to warn yon that I'm
going to be a little abrupt," said be
I "but I sbonld like to marry jou."
1 "Ob, deeiKsald Poily, starting W
In amazement; "Iconldn'ttbink of suoh
a thing!"
' 'Ys, you can," said Mr. Lilburne.
"Think of It, that's all. Think of It for
n weekrand then let me-know your final
decision'. I'm not exactly what the
world calls a gay young lover, but I can
give yon good borne aud an honest, lov
ing heart. Your "undo can tell you all
about Leouldas Lilburne, There,
won't tease you any longer. Just take
my proposal into consideration, that's
all."
She went away, and Miry, in her per
plexity, went tn among the flsur-barrals.
aud t ok couusel with Uncle Bigg.
Uncle," said she, "what am I to
do?"
"My dear," said the good roan, atrok
ing her head with floury, yet not un
kindly hands, "what do you tbiuk?
Could you learn to like him?"
"I think so," confessed Miry, with
downcast ryes. "He spoke so pleasant
ly to me, and he has such honest brown
ejes."
"Then I recommend you to say yes,'-'
said Uncle Biggs. "Lilburne is a good,
warm-hearted fellow, if n little ecceuttlc,
and bis wife will Lea lucky wnmau."
Aud he thought of Edelgitba and
sighed.
A week subsequently. Mr. Lilburne
gavo bis landlady waruing.
"I hope I haveu't failed to suit yon,
sir," sh said, plaintively.
"It isn't that, Mrs. Pugsley," said he.
"But I'm going to be married."
"I'm sure, sir, I congratulate you,"
said Mrs. Pugsley, faintly.
"Yon may well do so, ma'am," said
Mr. Lilburne. "She's as lovely as Ven
us, at domestio as Dorcas, and sho
makes ginger-snaps such as my poor
mother once did! Yes, Mrs. Pugsley, I
feel thai I have gaioed a prize."
So Polly Biggs' ginger-snaps won the
treasure which Miss Edelgitba's frills
and French conversation had been pow
erless to reach.
"I really can't see what Mr. Lilburne
saw to fancy in my Constn Polly!" said
she, with spiteful tears.
And Mrs, Biggs could not enlighten
her daughter.
'
H'COOK'S PASS.
A man named Buz Howe, well known
in the neighborhood of Bacon Creek, was
early afflicted with the secession fever.
and when the Confederates occupied that
portion of Kentucky, the sickness assum
ed a malignant form. It was" bis practli e
to lie around a tavern at Bacon Slalirn,
drink poor whisky, swagger, blow about
Southern rights, and. insult Union mm.
When, however, tho Union troops ad
vanced to Kevin, and ine nonfederal' s
fell back to Qreen river, Buz changed
his tune. He was not disposed to take
up arms in.bebalf the cause he repres n
ted. In fact, to secure peace and safety
at home, be expressed his willingness to
"take the oatb."
On.being lectured by Union men, he
stated that he was only " going through
tbe form, to prevent being troubled at
home, thatwhen be could do good for the
rebel canse he would not regard the obli
gallon in tbo least. ,J- It was sometime
before Buz could get a Uuion man to go
to the camp with him, but finally, in
company with encb, .ho called on Geneial
McCook, and asked for tbe privilege of
biking tho oath and obtaining a pass,
The General knew bis man, end addres
sing the Union man, who accompanied
him, said:
"Administer the oath to him a ready
traitor to bis country 1 What regard do
you suppose he would have for the sol.
earn obligations of the oath? A man, sir,
who would betray his country, has no
respect for his oath."
Buz turned pale. Tbe truth cnt bim
deep, and ha began to see that bis time
had come.
The General absolutely refused to haye
tbe oatb administered, or to grant opass.
He could not get out of camp without
some sort of a document, and he be
sought the interference of those whom
he had so greatly cursed, pnrsued, and
abnsed, when tby were without pro It c-
tion. At last General McCook agreed
to pass him out of camp, and gave him
document -which read something in
tbis way:
"To the guards and pickets. The
bearer is a traitor to bis country l-ass
bim out; in doing so, mark him "well,
and if yon see him hereafter prowling
about our lines, sboot bim at once,"
Tbis pass' the brawling disnnionist
bad to show tothe'whole Hoe of guards
and pickets, who all marked him well
before they let him pass, Tuough be
bad previously been at Baoon Creek
every day. be was not known to show
his 'bacon' thero again. Ous Interview
with General McCook caused him to
subside. 'Doctor' McCook's medioine
was ihe ouly kind that proved a cure in
such casts.
It is only when a ben is cooked that
she sets well on one's stomach.
No uiitter how large tbe amount
gas bills are always light ones.
An Ohio woman 32 years old bas
Kued a boy of 18 years for breasb of
promise.
Cincinnati milkmen believe Just tbe
great flood is a judgment upou tbem
w-I tbiok. it not putt to dispute where
there is no probabllty of convincing.
' Speculation is.wrong And if tbe t'S'
is left off it becomes positively wicked.
Our deeds determine us as much as
we determiue our deeds.
-The most mauifest sign of wisdom Is
continued cheerfulness,
Over two tons of hair-pins are tamed
out dally by the factories.
There is always ground for com-
plaiut ii) swamp neighborhood.
It ougbt to be a cold day when
summer get left-
-rBlrds of a feather flock on new bon
ds together.
high
igb toned.
COHUNDRUMB. ,
What Is a button t A small eyent that
Is always coming off, ' " ' 11
When Is coffee like the soil T When It
Is ground.
What snimsls are' sdmitttd to the
opera! Tuppirs and while kids; '
What Instrument of war does an angry
lover resemUoT A cross-bow.
Why Is a dead doctor like s dead duckt
Because they are both done qpnckjng. .
why are fatigued person like a wsgon
wheel ? Because thev are always tired.
-What giyrs a cold, cures a cold, and
pays the doctor's hill t A 'draft, (draught.)
-Why is a bootblack" like an' editor?
Because be polishes the understandings of
his patrons.
Why nro potatoes and corn like 'certain
sinners of old ? Because having eye, they
see not j and having eats, tliey bear sot.
Why is a pretty girl like a ocnmolIye?
Because she sends oil' the sparks, transports
tbe mails, and lias a train following her.
What an the most unsociable things in
the world 1 Mile stones ; fur you neyef see
two uf them, together.
Things It Would be Funny to See.
A nine dollar bill.
Coal st $3 per ton,
A dollar in a contribution box.
A whistle made out of a pig's (all.
A good Templer who don't drink.
A linker hand which beats four aces.
A mull who drinks nothing but water.
A saloon mauwhois not nuking money.
A mde benring less than olghi'percent.
interest.
Au unmarried man who can say
money at $12 a week.
-A tailor who can have a suit of clothes
done when promised.
A lawyer who can keep his promise
when there is no money in it. x
A woman who will not claim her baby
as the prettiest eyer born.
A newspaper man who will knowing
ly draw on his imagination for facts.
Gas at $2.1.0, per thousand feel, and a
meter tlist won't register as. much in the
summer when not in constant use as it
does when gas is flowing through it,
DON'T STEP ON A ROLLING STORE 1
That is what Captain Allen of tho Fire
Department of Worcester did, nud that was
how be hurt his ankle so'kadly. After tbo
doctor set the broken bone. Captain Allen
used I'skrt Pa vis's Paix Kills a a lini
ment. The suffering was soduover,nd'the
Captain was well in a short time. Know-
ng the accidents to.which fireman are
couitautly subject, Captain Allen advises
everybody connected with a Firel Depart
ment to keep a bottle of Fain Kills al
ways ou band.
An appropriate namo for a bulldog
Agrippa. '
The medal-some scbvlar doesn't take
the prixe.
A corset is nothing more or less than a
waist basket. '
A cynical old bachelor says It is called
courlsliip because it is often followed by
shipwreck.
A young man whose girl's name was
Susan, said liiut when he left Ihe world he
wanted tu do so by suey's side. ,
An advertiser says: IIuuds(wonted on
calico waists. All right, If it is a pretty fig
ure hero's one pair of hands. ,
"BDCHUPAIBA."
Quick, complete cure; all. uu'noying Kid
ney, Bladder and brniuary Diseases.? $1
Druggists.
A plumber, who was alxiut'to dleuid .
"My only regret about dying Is because
I am goiug where water-pipes never frets
up."
"Ma," be said at dinner, "who was
Charlotte RusseT" "Olij" said ma.'she
was one of them old queens- who made
trouble during the restoration." '
A blind pauper imp!ored"a' trsmp for
Ihe gift of an old pair, of pints. "Great
Scott 1" exclaimed the seedy wandtrerf "do
as I do, gst your drawers ilyedA'i
A stand fell dowu wilh a crash,
A number of men it did mash,
But the entire ten
Were soon well again
St. Jacobs Oil cured every gash.
A baker who lives in Dulutb,
Went crary one night, with tooth
He rubbed the gum boil, A r
With St. Jacobs Oil.
It cured bim, end this Is the truth
Calo dfd'not beein tn learn the d reek
language until he was eighty-four years of
age. The excuso for his beginning en It
then was '.bat he had 'entered' bis second
childhood.
-Why do good little children go to
heaven when they die? asked the teacher.
"Because" answered the bright boy at the
nead of the class, "becaUM 'its' unsafe In
trust children in a place whero there's Ere."
"No, sir," said the gentleman, 1 am
uotbrufsl in disposition 'and tastes;- rut I
hate hypocrisy iii man or beast, and it' tw.
dogs bate a mbled onlilliy for each ether
I dou'tlike to see 'tin conceal IK"
fiSt-IIoods, scarfs, ribbons and any farcy
articles can be mad; any p-tlor wanled.with
the Diamond Dyes, AM lb popular plors-
-Reach me dnwrr that Webster, Pat,"
said one of our lately oleclecf Judges to his
elerk. "Onenflliim thaivln'e newspapers
has been libelling ma Snd, be 'jabbers, I
won't stiOd It. The thavlflg black fuird
rails me a forsenia Jight.f
Rome time ago, a ver'y.lnhoeent young
lady pnli! a visit t.j a Jsdy frjpnJ, whoa fa
days before, bad. presented her k'Kh! mau
with s su. Sha,had,pfepurc, iad .to sea
baby. After lookjngbaid at the lillje strang
er some lime, she remaikcd, i '-Dear ma,
Maggie, how sunburnt it fs." .
The great desire of tbe grasping men e
this generation is to get something for noth.
ing.
-rTha.Duk and Duohss ,ef .Cennaught
are travelling through Prance as Hr. and
Mrs. Sussex. ,
- ' : t
-rA Dejrpit man pbiya h)lHayd.s wifh hi,
.now. His olfactory organ, U. composed of
whacks,
VnaniLn, Iu-a Dr. J. L. 1ytr
niyn"BMwn'i1r'rt Bitf lithe best Iron:
tM,f77it,MLJrtetIi;i' .'
4