jlj7 Uolimtcet • IIfSHHI) KVKIIY THURSDAY MORNING ftl ‘' BY IiIIVTTON - _vSc ICRN’.N’ F.In p iwauket nquare .. two Dollars per vear trpuld strictly |V l lM nf.«* Two Dollars ami Fifty Cents If ?mlil months; after which Three Dollars ril'i" .il-imed These, terms will ho rigidly ud f!',.wrv Instance. No subscription dts s,|Vl5 ,|Vl " I until ad urmirmjcH nro paid, unless at professional liwros. .TxltKiT STATKS CLAIM I AND V,l fj EST A T E A (1 EXC, V / •“ M. B. BUTLER, A'ITOHNKY at law, «.>in ‘\\fltorv of luhotrs Building, No. ‘.l South '.'..-nr street, Carlisle, Cumberland county fj rua * * * f Bounties, Bade Pay. *o„ promptly SlSitlons by mull, will receive Immediate! 1 mriL’idar alien Mon given to the Helling or rent ifWul Cstate, In town or country. In nil lot* f Impdry, please enclose postage stamp, jltly H* i S7 Q--t f H. G UAH AM, J ii., ATTORNEY AT LAW, XO.ll HOTUU HANOVER ST., * C/VTILIHLK. I’A. iW’-’ICK— Adjoining Judge Graham's, I v K, nBI.T/..U«OVEK, 'ATTORNEY-A T-LAW, CARLISLE. Pa, ts'Ollii’u nn,South Hanover .Street, opposite E?niz's<lry goods store. fvr. I. l Cl ».i. . j [ UMIIrc;iI & PARKER, H A TTORNL'Vti AT LAW. dilli-o on Main SUeoL. In Minion Hull, Car iw. 2 ISfiS- j. SHEARER, ATTORNEY AND \V outnskllou at Law, has removed tits to the hitherto unoccupied room In tfio orih East cofnor of the Court House. jm. ss. ’tw-iy • ~ . itr KKNNEDY, Attorney at Law \V . Carlisle. Pen mi. Ollleomuncns that of. ;j-.Vmorle;iu volunteer.” ji,c. 1 I KGt* \[i. GEORGE S. SEAKJGHT, Den } TIST. From 'the ItaUimurc Cn/lcnc of Dental i;ru. Olllce ut the residence of tils mother u .i limit her street, three doors below Bedford irtMe, IVniin. p.‘c. 1 b'b. L auo «flaus jUUS S H ARKIVAI or am. Tine A 75 IF UTI'LFS OF II A T S A N J) C A P S. Tii? subscriber Ims just opened at No. 15 North wer tit reef, u few doors North of the Carlisle hank, one of the largest and best Stocks (UTSiind CAPS over o(lbred In^Tarllslc. •»)lk flats. Casshnero of all styles and qualities, ill lirims. different colors, and every dcscrlp f>t of Soft. Hats now made. ilii* Dunknrd and Old Fashioned Brush, cou mtiy on hand ami made to order, all warrant ’l.odve satisfaction. A full assoi tmeut of MEN’S, BOV’S, AND CHILDREN'S, HATS. :,ivo also added to my Slock, notions of dlflor s kinds, ci nslstlny of Jb.ES 1 AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS • v ii.w, sn*pciuTcr*, OJllav- t, Glows, Pencil*, Thread,, Scivinv Milk. Umbrella*, dre JIIME SEGARR AND'TOBACCO ALWAYS ON HAND. *ilvo mo n cull, and examine rny slock ns I feel uililunl of pleasing all, besides saving you mo- JOHN A. KELLER, A(/cnt, No. 15 North Ilanover.Street. Uet. 1.570. J ATS AND CAPS I DO YOU WANT A NICE HAT Oil CAD ? 1 f so .Don’t Fail to Cam. on J. G.CALLIO, NO. 2!). WEN! MAIN STIihET, here can be seen tho finest assortment of HATS A N D CA X> S er brought to Carlisle. ‘He takes great pleas* r iii inviting Uls old friends an.d customers, i| nil new ones, to his splendid si cuds Justre iml from Now York and Philadelphia, cou •jii" In purl of line SILK AND CASEIMERE HATS, -ides an endless variety of flats and Caps oi •• tntesl jiiylo, all oJ - which he will soli at the »t.i/ C\i.-ih Prices. Also, his own manufacture Haw always on hand, and HATS .MANUFACTURED TO ORDER. 'it'lmsT'e host arrangement for coloring flats •I all loans of Woolen Goods, Overcoats, <fcc., at * shortest notice (as lie colors every week) and Hie most reasonable terms. Also, u line lot ol oh*e brands of TOBACCO AND CIGABS I’ay.H on hand. He desires to call theatlentlou i'C'ivms who have . OOUN T R Y F UHS 'til, us he pays the highest cash prices for lie .n e. -ive him a call, at the above number, his dd ini, us lie feels confident of giving entire sa .is ■ lion. ’cl. IS7O. liinuts null Sljoes. 'TUOHM is BFONBLKU, i;L -rtih./i '’Hanover titrcet\ CARLISLE, PA, iiihltfui for the patronage extended’ them ■•tolon 1 , d‘> now •mooimoe their usual largo i-K uf SPRING STYLES of BOOTS AND SHOES FOR I.V 1)1 ES’ AND MISSES’, GENTS’ AND HOYS’, YOUTHS’ AND'CHILDS’. ‘hih arc imrlvaled'.for comfort and beauty THUNKS AND VALXSSE3, MEN AND ROYS’ HATS, AlloMvhlch Will he sold at small profits. Call “•iiinl ail ami act a full equivalents lor join i l >iu-y. ~ > U.'t V’ ls7o—lV A N D CENTRAL IiOTiDL, BROADWAY, [Between Bleerkcr and Amity Sin.,) NEW YORK. Tho largest Hotel in Iho United S utos, eapn e of nccnmoclntlng liftocn hundred Quests. Just opened, and furnished In elegant style, t’uniral locution, airy apartments, and REASONABLE TERMS, H. LYMAN POWERS, • Proprietor ’til. 8,70—1 y [AUCTION. I Mi-. IT. A. I-lAmilS, fftntrly un Auctioneer of theeiiy ol Harris- F U S. has been licensed a United States AUCTIONEER, Patul fur (imnborland county, and would take |ii|V)iioi|| o( ] informing his irlemls tlml lie is |'{‘|iiirea to (;HY S vLEH. upon the most Uea lambic r fcrmH . Iniivhig dud considerable experience ns an t'i | ;lir»i[.. uri ho prides bmiselt upon giving en r, S| Uisi!icUon to uit parties who may engage I'm. Iteinember, my terms will be made ns p «-s possible. All orders lull ut the I fc' U A N K Ii I X 11 O U H K , or at the H liuiij T K It ’ H O !•’ V ICE. Wlbu promptly attended to: or address, U i«\ A. iiAllltlS, he P* I*, 70—ti Carlisle, I'a. u. HTJfiRINISR & IiRO., Llvicny and &ALE SABLE JIi TWUEN HANOVEHAND DBDKOIIITST., IX THE REAR OF RENTE HOUSE OAULISLE, PA, "“Vlng nttcu up tlioHlnblo with now Currl- sc,;, i *c., I am prepared to furnlsn llrat-class u rii-ouu u t reasonable rales. Parties taken to ‘•“I houUho HpmjgH. April 25.150T—2y ill <u BY BRATTON & KENNEDY, ©nj (Boons GOODS! NEW GOODS!! AT THE (IlllilP DRY PODS STORE, D. A. SAWYER, Opposite the Marl-ei House, Hus just opened a largo mid well selected stock’ of FALL AND WINTER D R Y GOO D S embracing every variety of design and fabric. Black Silks, Colored silks, Silk Poplins, French Poplins, Empress ami Mixed Poplins, Wool Serges, Wool Heps, VelmnH, Victoria Plaids,' Stuart and Bob Hoy Plaids, Colored Poplins, Al* pneeas. A superlm brand of blade Alpaecas, which for weight, lustre, and price excels any oilier in the mailed. DOMESTIC GOODS, MUSLINS. 10. my, l.i C’ALIJUEs. K, 10, lA' OLNGHAMH, I oy„ H, Hi, ■ TICKINGS, 11”..;, '15t. is, Sis, DELAINES, 15; 18, 20. FLANNELS, FLANNELS, All the best makes at the lowest prices, BLANKET DEPARTMENT, A fresh slock of While and Colored in from the mills. Very cheap, CLOAKIN G OLD T H S Velveteens, Water Proof, $l.OO anil upwards. SHAWLS, SHAWLS, Brnche Shawls, Thibet Shawls. Striped Shawls, Iml Blanket Shows. Prices away down. NOTIONS IN ALL VARIETIES, Rreakmst Shawls, Ladles'and Childrens’Merino Vests, Men’s Meilnn .Shirts, Wove Yarns, Zepli ors, Hosiery, Laces, Embroideries, Gloved, Jou vlus Kid Gloves. FURS!. FURS! FURS! Fresh stock In froni the manufacturers, less than city prices, . . • A lull lino of Men’s ami Boys’ Uasslmors.— Suits made to order at lowest prices, Wd whh everybody to call ami examine' our cheap stock ami get somoof the bargains, as you can save 2.' per cent. Oct. IJ, 70. D, A. SAWYER. GOODS! ORY GOODS!! HARPER’S 0 . South Ilunover SL> NEW STOCK OF FALL GOODS, I take pleasure In circling to ray patrons and the public, a stock of * DRY GOODS, complete In every branch, and not excelled- In finality, beauty, and cheapness. I have nolv open a beautiful stock of fashionable dress goods, comprlsing.ninck Silks, Black and Colored All- Wool Hens, nmek and Colored All-Wool Pop- Ijns. Black and Colored Wool Delaines. Black and C'dornd Merlnoe.s, Rich Plaid Poplins,Her-, gos. Velours, Fine Tam iso, Bombazines, Pure Mohairs, new brand of Double Wnip Black Al paca, for beauty ot color, w> Ight of lexturo. and price, it takes the lead of any Alpacas In the market. Fashionable Shawls, In now styles of Stilpcs and Plaids. Long and Square Thibet. Shawls, all of which I oiler exceedingly cheap. BLANKETS, White and Gray. Bargains guaranteed. FLANNELS, In cvoiy variety. LADIES’. CLOAKINGS—BIack Reavers, Velve ts* ns, White Corduroy. Opera Flnnuuls, Plaids for Circulars WATER-PROOF! WATER-PROOF! lloiwe Furnishing Dry Goods, Table 1 Incus Napkins and Whin-Goods. All tlio popular brands of Domestics, at prices to meet the lowest quniallons. Merino Vests, -duns, and Drawers, for Ladles, Mt-ses. Men and Roy.-. Kniitlng Yarns, Zephyrs. Germantown Wool, P<-rsi ni Wool, and Ralmmal Yarns, Hamburg, Edgings ami Ihserlings, Threlid .Litres, Uqipue Laces. Linen ami Lace Collars. Kid Gloves, Handkerchiefs. Fell. Ralmorul.ai.d Hoop Skirls, Cor-els, and a general variety of notions. CLOLTIH AND CASSIiMERES, Furs ! Furs ! Furs! No h« -Haney in saying that the prices will he as low .isany in town. •All goods bought at the head of Iho market, for cash, and superior inducements will be oiler cd at the Cheap Cash Store, Cor, Hanover and Pomfret Sts., . TIIOS. A. HARPER, Oct. 120; 7». J OW PKICEH! LO.W PIUCEH '! Thu exceedingly low prlcesof goods at the cheap Dry Goods Store, opposite Thtulluin’s Hotel, are attracting the serious attention of buyers. All kinds of SUMMER GOODS are so low that persons In need of them have on ly to sco to i p.ncclalo them. Having Just re turned from luc East with a line assortment of goods look Inc to 'he Fall trade, he Is prepared to sell them at the smallest possible profits. .Spe cial bargains In CLOTHS AND CASSIMEUES. All kinds of COTTON AND LINEN, GOODS constantly on hand. P XI I N. T S in greal variety of styles. The best stock of SHAWLS In town. HOSIERY, WHITE &c. NOTIONS of every description, CARPET CHAIN of all shades at the lowest figures. The most careful attention paid to all orders, by mall or otherwise. fall, see and bo convinced uINo.OU North Hanover street, opposite Ihudlnms Ho- Id. fnrllsle, Pa. LACIIEV. Aug. 1. IS7O-ly I! UJIRICANE PATENT fiiNTEEN CO’Y., Office, 10 Barclay SI., B. Y. (Up Stairs.) Oiler to the public a Hub tern combining safe ly ami economy with elegance and useinlness.-- It cannot explode; it gives a good light, ami consumes less oil than any other; It is not <lis tnrbcd_Uy tlio highest wind, and If a glas-s b* broken U is easily replaced by means of the Kcrev*. Toey are unlvorauily liked, where *hoy have been tried. * Hop. 2-, 7i>— Uni WANTED— Agents, {s2o per day) to m*U the c>k‘bmted HUMh sHUIILL HtiWlNO M A CHIN U. ilasllio Tuu/try^f/nuiUi-h llio "lock Milch" (nlilcc* on holh Mdo.s J uml licensed. The bust ami duMiposL f.mi v Sc u liu, Muchhio In Iho market. Address, JOII CLAUK it CO.. Huston, Mass., Pittsburg, 1u» Chicago, HI., or St. Louis, Mo. Hep. W, 70—ilm- A oil* NTS WANTED.—(S22oa month ifytlio AMERICAN KNITTING MACTIINK Uti.. 15'islon, Mass., or St. Louis. Mo. Sep* ‘25, 70— 3m Ij'OHTUNESnlluivil tolive men. Run* P chance. Send Hturnp, Diamond K. Co., Winninglon, t>el. ■ Oct, 17,70—3m iyjX a 'iiy liiiii j^i <Li^.l/ Backward and forward, under I lie moon, Swings tlio tide, In Its old-time way; Never 100 late and never too soon : Ami evening arid morning mauo the day Backward and forward, over the sands. And over the rocks to fall and How And this wave Ims touched the dead man’ hands, , And that one has seen a face wo know. They have sped the good ship on her waj, Or hurled here from love and light: But here, as they sink at cur feet to-day. Ah, Who shall distinguish their voices aright 1 For their separate burdens of.hope and fear Are blending now in one solemn lone;* And onlv this soil" of the wave I hear— “ Forever and over Ills will bo done." Backward and forward, to and fro, Swings oni life In U*’weary way ; Now at Us ebb, and now at its flow; And cvenlng and morning make the day •Sorrow and comfort, peace and strife, Pain and rejoicing, its moments know How from the discords of Mich n llfo Shall the clear music upward flow? Yet to the car of m«fu swells, - And to the Messed round the throne, Sweeter than chime of vesper b-dls “Forcver and over Ills will he done.’’ '4lll irillioun,,lo Heigh'ho!’ yighs Mr. Patron, ‘what a forlorn Llitnsr it- id to live alone V and ho drew his easy chnir close to the fife and onsconcid himself therein, wrapping: his trJ-colorod dressing frown about him. T wish I were married! I know a lady— hoards in the same house, too, ahd I be lieve she’d have me, if I wore to ask her. I mean' the pietty music teacher. She is young, delicate and amiable; only there seems lb he something melancholy about her, as though she had known sorrow; besides, she isa widow. I like her, though, and ! believe she likes rne. TMI think tins over. I have plenty of money, ami no body to spend it upon. Yes, I think I will ask pretty Madam Victor to marry me.' Rnp, tap, tap. ‘Uitnein! —who's {hero?' ‘Please, sir. it’s your clean clothes ?’ - ‘(■lean clothes! and pruy who arc you, you little cherub, and where do you come from?' ‘I am Laui’i tin, sir, and I live with Bridget, who washes} > our clothes, and she sent me with a basket to-night.’ ‘Yes, I should think she hud, yon 1511 le duckling; and the basket is bigger than yourself! Come and sit down in this chair by tiie lire and warm your-toes—there now! I wa.pt to talk with you. Are you Bridget’s child ?' ‘Oh no. sir,’ and a look of care passed over the Mltle nice. ‘No, I thought not. Washerwomen’s children don’t have such eyes, nor such broad foreheads, nor such soft hair. Well, birdie, how came you with Bridget? Have you no parents?’ • ‘T don’t know. 1. only dream I have. Bridget lets me stay with her because I can sing.’ - ‘Ring! and what has that to do with it?’ ‘Oh, sir, T sing my songs in the great houses, and they give me sixpences, and I lake them to Bridget.’ ‘Aha ! you pay your hoard (hen ?’ Well, little Lauretta, will you sing for me now ?’ ‘Yes, Indeed and the.little one stands up in i he middle of the i tiff, ami opening: her little rosebud mouth, she sings Casta Diva I; ‘Bless my stars, what a voice! I know something of music myseil; at least enough to know that such a vnieeshould he a fortune to theone who possesses it. Little one, whore did you learn that?’ *Nur.-e that taught me.’ ‘Nurse? Who is nuise ?’ ‘Nurse is di ad !’ •Tin* dark eyes fill with tears, and the ruby lips are (p'iverinir. Mr. Patron walks up and down, the room. His curiosity is excited as well as his pity.* ‘Please, sir, shall T leaye my basket? Bridget will scold if I stay so long.’ ‘No, litllo one, I wih carry the basket; lam going home with yon.’ ‘lt’s up live lllclUs of stairs,* air, and 1 there is no light in thd’passage— ’ ‘All the more rea-on X should go with you. Now! am ready. Come, my Mftle singer, you and 1 will be betteraequalnt* auces before lo: g- Don’t fall down these stone steps; keep hold of my hand; hero wo are in Broadway. Now where do we turn? down Prince street, hey ! and now down Crosby. What. doyouTive in this alley? Oh never fear, little L’asta Diva, I shall tread safely enough while this little hand leads me Ugh! how rn-my more flights are there?— only two? Well, well, I can climb them If you can. Ho, is this the door ?’ 'Och, and is i( you, sir, that would ho after com ng to sec a poor woman at this hour? Will you he seated, sir?’said Brid get, wiping a wooden chair with her apron. Your shirts were not ironed lo ho suiting you. may he?* '.Shirts all right, Bridget, I came lo bring home your little girl, and to ask you something about her. She has been sing ing to me. Will you tell me where she came from?’ ‘Ve takes.a hit o’ trouble for a lone bit of a child, indeed, sir ; but her story is not so very long. She lived with a bin in woman in the room below, named Ther esa. The woman said she was walling maid In Lquretta’a family, in Italy some where, and while she was out with the child, then only two years old, for the sake of air, there came, a big‘row in the C'tv. and the child’s father was in the middle of it. and got kilt; and when she reached the. house all in a I ight, aura It was all on tire, and th« mother of it was gone, and never was she able to fi rid her at all. So she kept the child and comes to America with it; forshe heard tell how the streets were paved with gold; and when she come ami found nary gold nor food hut for working, she hud to go to work as well ns wo poor ceaturesdo ; and she took to washing in the one room down stairs; hut never a hit would she let this child tin for itself, but walled on it like a slave, am) only taught It losing, ‘as its mother did before it,' she paid ; ami last year Theresa died. This poor little creature took on so bad that I took her thyself, only I’ll be bringing her up diff erent Inti rely; I’ll tache her to earn her bread at any rate; and so I siiuls her nut Ivory day to sing to the great folks and makes her help me to carry juound the clothes; ami that is all, sir.’ ‘lt was very good in you Bridget, to take the litllo orphan. You have saved her from a’sud fate. You will bo reward ed, you may depend.’ Bridget taised her eyebrows and dropp ed a courtesy, while Casta Diva, as Mr. Patron then and over since lias called her, hid her face in the bed. and sobbed to hear herstory related. The kind gentle man looked at her tenderly, and then! salt!: . . . « •Lhave a plan for this poor child, which will at once relelve you of her charge and r.niiv yi'H (nr v»nr goodness nf heart. Good night, litllo one, I will onme to morrow. Dry your tears, fn, I will make you happy. Heie, Budget, issomomoney lor yon, ami lie sum you tin not soml her out to sing tuniin. I have something het ter for her lo do.' Pridget dropped another courtesy, and her mouth opened -wide, for she was all mystified and bewildered. An hour later and Mr, Patron is again seated In his easy chair before hla brlgJU coal fire, with his dressing gown once more folded about him. The only differ* once is that he smiles Instead of uighing as he did before. ‘Ah, yeri* bo says. *1 seo my way clear. o ni lIY TUB SEA CAhTA.DIVA. CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1870, I cun now, without hesitation, cull upon Madam Victor in her room,.to interest her about my little Casta Diva. I will tell her tbe'story, ami engage her to cul tivate the voice of my little protege . I will wee her to-morrow morning, and perhaps she will accompany mo to Brid get’s lodging. Not a very romantic walk to invite the lady of my heart to share, but then I he circumstances are peculiar 4 .’ ‘Now f thin'k of it, I must engage of my landlady the little bedroom next to mine, I ain delermlncd to adopt this singing 'cherub as my own. I will change her. name to Casta Diva Patron.. It sounds musical, and she Is music itself. Jfsweet,Madam Victor only sees in her what I do, we shall be an amazingly hap py family. I declare I reel like n hus band and father already. I shall lind enough ro do with my money after all.' Ami so he goes to bed and dreams of his future joys until he fairly laughs aloud in his sle» p. Now it is morning; and If you will pul your head out of the door you can sod him going al-mg the hull. He stop* at No. C—knocks gently ; but the rich toned piano,’touched by a thrilling.'hand does not allow so love-like a tap to be heard. Tliis time he knocks louder; the music stops and the door is opened by a beauti ful woman, who smilingly invites him to en>er> Well, I don’t wonder ho fell in love with her! They close the door. .Let yon and I go peep in at the keyhole, and hear whir they say; I’ll never tell—will you? iiaikl Well, after all, I can’t tell what they said now, because I promised I wouldn't; but Mr. Patron has staid In there a great while and he didn’t ask her to sing or play once all the time- Now t'«e door opens again, ami they come out together; he in his overcoat, and hat, she In her cloak and velvet bon net. Ho looks very much excited and she looks pale ami treinhlessoshecan hardly apeak. She takes his offered, arm, goes down stubs and out the street door. I do believe they are going to Bridget’s. And so they were. Good Mr. Patron walks slowly down with the sweet lady* lor she Ipjs ever} reason to tremble; she believes she is Lauretta’s mamma; for she has been tel 1 - lug her friend how her husband was kill ed in a mob one dreadful day, because he was a greht politician, and* when they burned Ids house they took her and threw her into prison, where she remained a whole year, and only made tier escape when, during terrible troubles in Italy, the prison doors were unbarred to all. She had sought frantically lor tier child, but in vain; and believiugllmt both Lau retta and her nurse, were crushed in the same mob that killed her husband, .she came to Amei ica io try to earn her liveli hood among hospitable strangers bv her line musical education and uncommon voice. Madam Victor believes that Lauretta is her child, because their stories are so strangely alike. Fiveyeats have passed since she bail left Italy; hut she knows her eyes will not deceive tier. Her baby’s features are indelibly engraved upon her heart. Her kind friend supports her up the live flights of siaira, and then she stops to lake breath ami nerve 1 herself (or cither infensc'happiness or heavy disappoint ment. They are about to enter the room when a litUe voice greetshor ear singing, with a w’omlerful power and expression, an Italian melody, wide < the lady herselt used to slug in her own sunny land. She stops and irrasps the arm of her friend. ‘Oh, wait,’.she whispers; ‘let me try;’ and with great effort, she continues and completes the unfinished strain in avoiuo that angels might not exceed. He opens the door. Luurcttastanilsin the cent ie of (lie mom, alone, pah*, and agitated; her great eyes dilated with emotion long repressed. Her mother's has readied a spot in her heart which vibrates on her momoh like a glimpse of Heaven. Madam Victor hint’s upon a chair ami gazes long am! earnestly upon the mo tionless figure ; then she suddenly stretch es out her. arms and whispers '(Jome here.' - Laureßa slowly advances; and when she G close to tile heanßfnl lady, she lies ties her head upon her boa mi and draws a Joi g. decpj-igh. •Tell me your whole name, sweet one.' ‘Lauretta Victor.’ The lady presses the little form still closer. ‘Darling. T am your mother.’ ‘i know it.’ sighs the child. ‘You know it, my angel?’ ‘ Yt\« ; 1 hav-e seen you in, my dreams and always called, you ‘mother;’ ami when you sang just now It brought it qll back/ Good MV. Patron went'to the window and wiped his eyes. Oneo again wo see him sitting in his easy chair before the bright coal lire. By his side sits a beautiful young Jady ; one hand lies in his and the oilier is tenderly stroking his hair ; hut her eyes rest upon a little fairy who sits at the piano, silent ly dreaming over sonic of Handel’s . mu* tde, which her has brought home to her. The lady is his wife. The fairy is his Casta Diva. ‘Hogs, I’vio Got You Now!’—Some yeais ago, an eccentric genius, Hunt, used to give temperance lectures. One night he announced that he would lect ure in Easton. Now, temperance was not in favor among the male portion/ of that burg. The women, however, Were all in for the ‘pledge,’ and consequently on Hunt’s first night not a man showed himself at the hall. The benches were pretty well filled with women, though, and Hunt commenced: hut instead of temperance, ho put them through on the vanities of dress, etc. 'They wore great at idled feather sleeves then. They (the sleeves) caught it, Bum theirtlght lacing, and so thro’ the whole catalogue of fe male follies; not a word about temper ance. And il»e ladies went homo hop ,ping mad, told their husbands about it and'voted ohj Hunt down to the lowes* notch. Ho hud announced that lie would lect ure at the same place the next night.— Long before the time appointed they commenced to come, ami when Hunt hobbled down the aisle, the building was comfortably well ill led with men. The old fellow looked about,. shackled and muttered, ‘Hogs, I’ve got yon now!’— The audience started. ‘Alia, hogs, I’ve got yon now !’ Alter the crowd had got quiet a little, the lecturer arose and said; •Friends, you wanted to know what I meant by saying, ‘Hogs, I’ve got you now,’ ami I’ll tell you. Out West, the hogs run wild ; iiml when folks get out of meat they catch a young pig, put u strap under his body ami hitch him m a young sapling that will just swing him from the ground nicely. Of course he squeals and raises a rumpus, when al! the old hogs gather an uml to see what s 100 mailer, uml they then shoot them at leisure. Lust night I hung a pig up; I hurt it a little, and it squealed. The old hogs have turned out to night to see the fun,uml I’ll roast you;’ uml so ho did, pi*ch lug into their favorite vice with a relish amt gusto tha* can only be appreciated by one who has heaid‘Old King Alco hol’ pirtUhrough during ’4O or ’47. Good Sknsb.—-The great i rouble among American youth is ibe lack of appliea tion ami thoroughness in what they un dertake. Anything that cunimt be learn ed with superlicial study. is given the go by for something less tedious ami irk some. Study nml labor are looked at from a wrong standpoint; and as a con sequence, the clerkship ranks are full of unemployed and half-starved young men, and the professions are overflowing wlin mediocrity, while cooii mechanics find plenty of work at Hying prices. The evil spoken of is felt Hi-rh.usiy. Those win) woik at a trade do it in so carele s a man ner that they are not competent to do the work they promise to do. const rHiiii> \m> ci.eammj house BY IlKbiJN* ro«K|.:sT GRAVES It was the most golden and glorious of September days. The veil of blue buz* l banging like a canopy over tho distant bills, seemed absolutely to quiver'd!! the radiant glow of tbo autumn sunshine, and the grapes, whoso amethystine clus ters blushed through the trellis of cling ing leaves, grew deeper in color and more bloomy, as if they stolen the Imperial d\ e ofa thousand purple sunsets and brilliant dawns, as the sun mounted higher and higher, in the cloudless dome of heaven. No frescoed ceiling, hungwith je-veled pendants, was ever more heauti fulthan this arbor of grape-leaves,‘where tlie light and shadow danced in fitful ar heaques with every moving wind—and so thought Richard Mayfield, us became slowly up the garden path that led to his brother’s house. Tlio mansion itself, however, was far from presenting the gala aspect which pet vaded all nature, and our hero’s coun tenance underwear a ludicrous transfor mation, as ho eyed the yawning windows and wide open doors. ‘By all the powers,’ said he to himself. *if Isabella isn’t cleaning house again ! Well, women are the most unaccountable creatures! I do believe they delight in turning things upside down, ami making' themselves and che rest of the world un comfortable. What’s the use of choaking people with dust and deluging ’em witli soap and wafer twice a year? However, lei the dear enigmas have their own way. I’m snro I ’m the last person in the world to object! 1 ' With'these philosophical reflections yet in Ills mind, Mr. .Mayfield deftly threaded his way through, a colony of whitewash pails and lime kettles that surrounded the front door, and entered upon the scene of action. It was quite i lain from the shout with which the children greeted his appearance, that he was a general fa-' vor te. ‘ Hallo, undo Dick, we're cleaning house!* cried Master Henry Augustus Mayfield, who was mounted astride of a doubled up feather bed, and castigating it fearfully with his mother’s best silk par asol. ‘Ain’t It splendid, undo Dick?* ex claimed Miss Julia, who was endeavoring to ‘pry out* the principle of sound from a thirty dollar music box, by introducing a carving knife into its interior works, while Mrs. Mayfield, half distracted hy calls front divers'directi ns. was totally unconscious of the mischief which was being wrought. ‘Dick, I am .so puzzled and annoyed,’ she said. ‘Here is John called to Lite city by a pressing law ‘suit, and the whole house upside down!’ 1 1 thought that was what you ladies liked/ said Dick, perching himself Upon tho lop of the dining table, and rescuing a shell.basket from the destructive grasp of the smallest Mayfield of all. ‘And icy cook lias gone, and fhb fire won’t burn, and the wall wbilners have not come this morning, and. the parlor ceiling is half unfinished, and yon know that sewing society is to be here to-mor row night—and Dick, what shall I do?’ ‘Don’t fret!’ said Richard, soothingly. ‘7 U make the fire burn, or I’ll know the reason why; and I can finish the ceiling for yon!’ ‘You?* ‘Yes me. Didn’t I whiten my own room at college, when we boys had smok ed It Into the color of an old snuffbox ? And then I’ll tack tho carpet down, and see about putting those dislocated bed steads together.* 'But, Dick, you must be too tired after (lancing until twelve o’clock at the pic iiic IttHt night/ ‘Me tired ? Fiddlestick ! Whcr.o’a the refractory stove ?’ The very fire was not proof against Dick’s suniiy determination. It broke into a cheerful blaze the .moment ho at tacked its citadel,and Isabel's face, bright ened simulfoneouslv. The skill with which he next erected a scaffolding, and mounted thereon, with a panoply of while wash pails and brushes, was perfectly as tounding, Urn more so, as ids slender fig ure, rather pale complexion aristocrati cally small feet and hands, conveyed the idea of one who was adapted only to Broadway pavements and glittering ball rooms. T suppose the workmen didn't leave their wardrola a,, when they went away last evening, Bell?’ he asked, when he had scaled tin* rather perilous height. ‘No,’said his sister-in-law, laughing. - ‘Then just hand up that old sheet—and a piece of the hed-coid yonder. Now, don't yon admire my tout ensemble / ‘Uncle Dick looks like a ghost,’ said Master Henry'Augustus; ‘No hs don't— he looks like the old.mil ler down at the Pond, 7 struck in Miss Julia ‘Upon my word, I don’t know which •of von is the most complimentary,’ ob served Richard, drily. ‘Now,-then, clear Urn track, every soul ofyou, and give me a chance!’ *> And he worked on, now breaking into a clear merry whistle, now pausing to survey his achievements, hut ctfienest of all relapsing into thought of the bounti ful young damsel atthe pic-nic last night, who had been so studiously re served toward him. ‘She jvon't like mo.’thought lie, and f can’t, for the life of me tell why. Well, as I said beftre, women are unaccounta ble concerns!’ ‘Amy,’ said Mrs. Brownlelgh, to her pretty young cousin, *1 wish you would just run over to Mrs. May Held’s with this note. Tlie children are at school, ami I have no one to semi.’ ‘Oh, no,’ said Amy, while a fresh tinge stiflnsed her delicate cheek. ‘I don't want to encounter that superfine young col eglan.’ ' ‘Nonsense, he Isn’t there—he is staying with Hurry Franklin.’ ‘Oh, then T will take the note,' said Amv, rising, and looking round for her coquettish little gipsy hut. •‘Yon are the strangest girl, Amy,’ said her cousin. ‘What cun he the reason that you dislike Richard-Maj field ? He is so handsome and so talented !’ ‘I don’t fancy these .merely ornament al people,’ said Amy, demurely. 'My husband must bo of some use in the w rid ! * •How do you know but that Mr. May field Is?* •Can’t bo possible,’ said Amy, archly shaking her curls. ‘His hands are too small for anything butleffitfh colored kid k*‘i'n wager a new bonnet, Allce. that ho never did anything more laborious than to carry a box of sugars, in his life!’ • Miss Brownkdgh laughed, and Amy passed out of the vine whether Mr. Rich ard Mayfield had been very much vexed because she hud refused to dance with him the evening oeforfe. Mrs. John Mayfield’s house was at no very greatdistance.and us Amy was quite Intimate with that lady, and understood the domestic saturnalia that was at pres ent transpiring within her domains, she did not tlilnk it necessary to knock, but opened the door and walked In without ceremony. There stood Dick, tho apex of a pyra midal scaffolding of hoards, his line broadcloth raiment obscured by a lime splashed sheet which was girded around his waist by a ponderous knot of rope, and his black curls overshadowed by a course oul straw hut, working away as if fordear life. His back was toward the door, and supposing the step to be that of his sister in-law, he said, gayly, without turning his head: ‘What! is tho carpet ready so soon, Hell? I’m just through hero, and I’ll come and tuck il down In one minute!’ Not receiving any answer, lie threw down the brush and turned round. ‘Miss Browuielgh!’ He had never looked so handsome in hislife—and that was nottho liratthought that rushed’through Amy’s mind, in the midstofull her embarrassment; for Dick had tho advantage of tho young indy in this respect—she was embarrassed, anti he was not ! He sprang laughingly, to the ground, aim hiq irhqatlv dranerv. , ‘Yon must think I nave a curious taste in costume,’ said he archly, ‘but the truth is that Isabel lias been disappointed in her work people, and my brother is away from home, so T am helping tier clean house!’ ‘I did not know —I thought you had no tasle— ’ stammered Amy, unconsciously speaking out her thoughts. ‘You supposed that I wasnothing more than an ornamental piece of furniture?— Ask Isabel about that, said Dick, half piqued, half smiling. ‘But can I he of any use to you' now? 1 v *1 had a note from my'cousin, for Mrs. Mayfield,' said Amy, still speaking scarce above a breath. ‘She lias gone down to the farther or chard,’ said Dick. ‘lt is some distance, and not a very straight path. If you will wait until I remove a little of this litne, I shall be happy to escort you down there.' , Half an hour ago Amy would have haughtily informed him that It was quite unnecessary for her UvlV.tmblo she stood still and waited. It was a long walk under the spreading shadow of nobto old apple trees, bending with their weight of crimson and russet fruit and through meadowsunklo deep in. purple and bloom, am! nodding plumes of golden red, yet, ftfr all that, Amy was quite surprised when Mrs- Mayfield came in sight, carrying a little basket of rose-cheeked peaches from a pet tree be yond. We believe it is one of wnman’sspeclal and incontrovertible privileges to change her mind—therefore nobody was much, astonished when, three months subse quently, there was a rumor of the ‘en gagement 1 of Mr. Mayfield and Miss Brownb-igh! Still, however, Dick al ways declared that it was an insoluble mystery to him that when serenades and schottisches, poetry and perfumes had all failed to win an entrance to tho maidens heart, a white wank brush should have been the unromantio weapon which, at last, brought down the barricades! Anecdote or .TcOerson. A party,. Mr. Jefferson, the President among them, were out riding. A smart shower had fallen during the forenoon, and when they got back to Moore’s Creek the water was running up to tho saddle girths of a horse. An ordinary western looking man was silting bn the hank with a saddle in his hands. Ho waited until all the party had en tered the stream but Mr. Jelferson, and then asked him for a ride across. To rein up to a stone, sutler hlih to mount, cn croupe; and carry him to the opposite bank, was a matter of course. In a few minutes the party in the rear, who had witnessed the affair overtook onr besad (lled pedestrian, stretching away at a steady pace along the foot of Carter’s niouiitian. ‘ ‘I say!’ quoth ajunior, ‘what made you let the young ni'-n pass and ask that gentleman carry you .over the creek ?’ ‘Well/ said Kentucky, in broad patois, ‘if you want to know, I’ll tell* you ; I reckon a man carries yes or no in in his face—the young .chan’s face said no— the old ’mi’s said yes/ ‘lt isn’t .every man that would have asked the President of the United Stales for a ride behind him/ saul the other, ex pecting, perhaps to hllnd the bold visage of Kentucky. If such was his object, however, lie was very much mistaken ‘You don’t say that was Thomas Jeff ers'on do you?’ was the reply', and he .immediately added, ‘he’s a * * fine fellow, qny way.’ ‘That was the President/ was the re sponse. Kentucky looked up and . looked around, the locality well known to Travelers at once carrying conviction in his rnlnd. He appeared to be in a brown study for a moment, Hie massive features then relaxed, - lie burst into a loud fit of laughter, and thus bespoke: ‘What do you suppose tnv wife,. Polly, will say when I got hack to Boone c* mi ty, and tell her I’ve rid behind old •JeOerHon ? She’ll say 1 voted for the right man.’ Was St. Paula Bachklou:—Ttseelns to be a pretty veneraLimpresslnn, says a recent writer, that Paul was a* bachelor, and many ladies of the present day have formed an opinion of him which* is de cidedly unfavorable. I believe riud pur pose to show, that Paul was actually a married man, and a strong advocate of ‘Woman's Rights.’ The Corinthian Church had written to him for directions upon the subject of matrimony in a time of great persecution, and under the c/r -cumitanccs beseems to think for the time being the unmarried had better remain so x Eusebius. Clement and ol her hist- ri ans, speak of Paul as a married man, ami according to the best historical evidence we can get, he was at the lime of writing this cpistle \\ widower. And thus he re mained true to his dead wife and admon ished other men who had lost, their wives to pursue a similar course. If (here is a woman in ’ America who Is particu larly anxious for her husband to marry again after her death, we should like to see her. The apostle’s ‘advice to wives, 1 in the fifth chapter of Ephesians, seems to ho.very offensive to some because lie admonishes them to oJ)cdie'-cc. Hus bands are very fond ot quoting it. If there Is hut one text in the Bible with whici they are aequniu'ed, it is that; but do you ever'hear tile twenty-fifth verso from masculine lips,? Listen: 'Hus hands love your’ wives erfm aft Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it.'— There, 'gentlemen, is your rule of con* duct—don’t forget, and, by the way, how do yon like it ? Where Is there a great l or love than this? ami what an exalted opinion Paul must have hud of woman to deem her worthy of such affection ! Rest assured Unit obedience will gladly follow a love like that. When men aro honest, loyal and true—when they tenderly, love ami shield .even at' the sacrifice of self, then Woman will ‘honor and obey,’ with out any objections or regrets. Torturing Criminals in’ China.— China evidently,believes that punishment should he deterrent rather than reforma tory. The last mai.t from that country brings news of a fiendish case of torture inflicted upon a native of Foochow for the crime of kidnapping children- The poor wretch, wo are-told, was exposed to the side of the street in a wooden cage of such a height that while his-head pro trouded .through the top he could just touch the bottom with his toes. His hands were tied behind him, and his an kles were chained together. Chi ttie first day of his imprisonment he was allowed to sit on a board placed across the oageal the proper height, but after the first 24 hours this was removed,and he was then only supported by his neck and toes.— Some of the crowd.who surrounded him threw bits of broken bricks into the cage, and watched with jeers his ineffectual attempts to place them under his feet, In relieve the frightful strain upon his neck. His groupings met with no sympathy, and ho wus deprived of all food. In this state ho was left to die. Of course, the torture is long or shoit according to (he vitality of the criminal. A week before this poor creature suffered, a notorious thief nad been subjected to the same tor ture, in the same place, and had lived six days in the cage. An exchange says a lazy boy will make a lazy man as sure as a crooked sapling will make a crooked tree. Who ever saw a boy grow up in idleness that did not make a shiftless vagabond when he became a man, unless he had a fortune to keep up appearances? Tho mass thieves, criminals and -paupers have come to what they have, by being brought up Id Idleness. Those who conatitutu the business part of the community—who make our great useful men—weie taught in ihelr boyhood to bo Industrious. — Boys, take that pipe out of your mouth and think of this. VOL. 57.- .V UttiiUriwl Mill's nn lloiir-KxplollN of nDrunken Engineer. The Sentinel relates llio f °Up-wimr ineictei t ; The engineer oruio nr«s«.* * « _ the Jockson-vllio, Pensacola and Mobile Railroad going West on Wednesday morning last—a man named Drew—was so.much under the Influence of liquor by the time he reached Baldwin that the conductor, .Mr. Tuten, did not consider it safe to allow him to proceed further, and therefore procured the services of another'engineer, Drew, however, re maining on the e'nglne. When the train arrived at Sanderson the acting engineer loft tho engine for some purpose, when Drew, still drunk, cut loo'-o from the train, ami put out with .the engine at lightning speed, leaving the engineer, fireman, conductor, and ail behind. As h»* neared LaKo City, the section hands working on the road scat tered pell-mell into the woods, frighten ed out of their wits at the tremendous speed the engine was running. The agent at Lake City, when asked about It, said the engine was miming about one hundred miles an hour, and 11 lore was a man aboard, but lie was ceitainly crazy. Further west a gentleman saw the en gine pass, but could discover no one on her, and said ho was very much alarmed, hut, presently he saw a hand go up, and then lie knew there was some kind of a human on board. Drew thundered along at (Ids dangerous speed until he reached Ellavdle, where he came near colliding with an eastward bound freight train'. The master machinist, Mr. Kennedy, happened to bo here, and, ejecting the maniac engineer from the engine, took charge of it himself. fortunately for Mr. TuLen, he found another niglneat which lie came through to Kll.aville? At or near Ohistee the body of a man wnsdiscovered lying in the trade, but-too lute to prevent the train fropf passing over it ami crush ing it to pieces. The body proved to be thatof Mr. Brannon, who, when lastseon, was wending his way homeward with a sackofllour on his shoulder. The front of Drew’s engine is said to have been covered with dour, and it is thought he must have run over Brannon, but how the body got back to the track in the po sition it wm when run over the second lime, is a mystery not yet solved. Drew was promptly discharged by the officials here, ami has left for parts to us un known. ‘Kiss Mi-;, Mamma.'—‘Kiss.me, mam ma. before I sleep.’ How simple a boon; yet how soothing to the little supplicant is that soft, gentle kiss! The little head sinks contentedly on ,the pillow, for all is |>eaceand happiness within. Tito bright eyes close, and the rosy lip is reveling in the brightnud sunny dream of innocence. Yea, kUa it, mamma, for that good-might kiss will linger in the memory when the giver lies mouldering in the grave. The memory of a gentle mother's kiss has cheered many a lonely wanderer’s pil grimage, ami lias bee;- the bacon light to illiunimitehis desolateheart; for, remem ber, life has many a stormy billow to cross, many a nigged path to climb, with thorns to pierce; and we know not what is in store for the little one so sweetly slumbering, with no marring care to dis turb its peaceful dreams. The parched and fevered lips will become dewy again as recollection bears to the sufferer’s conch a mother’s love—a mother’s kiss. Then kiss your little ones erothey sleep; there is a.magic power in that kiss Which will.endure to Uni end of life. A Boy’s Love for “ Strings.”—A medical gentleman once told us of an In eide t that occurred during the perfor nmnneof a medical operation that will hear oropeatfng. /"ho operator, a dlstiu guish ed surgeon.‘surrounded hv many looke rs-on, was amputating a limb, ami needing for the purpose a cord, remarked to a boy standing near, .“give hie that string in ydur pocket, ’’ and the desired article was Immediately brought forth from the varied assortment of old buttons, broken pencils, and olherariicles of value gibbered by the youthful connoisseur. After the completion of the operation, a medical man, who was assisting the ope rator, inquired of the latter—’how. did jmu know that boy bad what yon asked for, wlidi you called for a cord?’ He replied —‘Bid you ever know g boy that had not a string.in his pocket among the collec tion of his valuables?’ A Russian’ Dance.—They have a sin gular kind ol' dance conducted on tlie irrceim of tin* country villages in Russia. The dancers stand apart, a knot of young menhere, a knot of maidens there, each sex by hself, and .silent as a crowd of nudes. .A piper breaks into a tune; a youth pulls oil" his flip, and challenges his.girl with a wave and a bow. If the girl is willing, she waves her handker chief in token of assent; the youth ad vances, takes a corner of t lie handkerchief in Iris hand, and leads his lassie round and round. No word- Is spoken, ami no laugh is heard. .Stiff with cords and.rieh with braids, the girl moves heavily by herself, going round, and never allowing her pan nor to touch her hand.. The pipe goes droning on for hours in the same sad key and measure; and the prize o! merit in this “ circling,” as the dance is called, is given hy the spectators to the lassie who, In all that summer revelry, has never spoken and never smiled! Wct jus fsii iKTj—A bashful and rather verdant young man from near Vincennes, attended u ball in that place recently, m company with the idol of his heart.' After the dance had progressed for some time, the young man from the rural district saw the one most dear to iil.m sluing alone in one corner of the mom, and concluded ho would step over ami have a special chat with his lady love, ■ AH vrell so far, blit Lbe bashful fal low was at, a loss for something to. sav ; he fidgeted about ami was sweating pro fustdy, having just left the dance, and besides the room was quite warm. Final ly, taking hold of his wilted collar, ho commenced the conversation thus* ‘ft’s powerful warm, my shirt’s wet, ain’t yours? The lady wilted. A 5-’E\v Sundays ago, as Mr. Beecher was about commencing his sermon, a stout, fatherly looking man was endeav oring to make his way through the crowd, to get within hotter hearing dist ance of the distinguished orator. At tha moment Mr. Beecher’s voice rang out the words of the text: ‘Who art thou?’ — •Who art thou ?’ again cried the dramat ic preacher. The stout party tbinkinghimsolf in the wrong, perhaps, hy pressing forward and behoving himself personally addressed, startled the brethren ami nonplussed their reverend chieftain, by sedately re plying : • •I’m a pig merchant from Chicago, sir. I hope you ain’t mad. There ain’t nary chair or else I’d a sot down.’ Plymouth Church didn’t recover its serenity for ten minutes. Inpian Thaditi«n.—lt is a standing tradition of the Niagara Indians, shared to a great extentnow by the white people in -the vicinity of the Falls, that the •‘Great Spirit,’’ or Thunderer of Waters, must have annually four victims sacri -11 cod to his power. Curiously enough, a year seldom passes during which at least ’lour persons are not drown d either in tin* Fulls or the whirlpool be.ow. This year an old man of more, than 70 years stepped into the breakers above the Falls, and losing his hold, was swept over the frightful-cataract. At De Vaux College, a student, daringhh companions to wude ihto Vho whirlpool, was sucked into its terriftlc eddies, and instantly disappear ed, to he seen no more. A few days after ward a drunken father adventured, with his two children and a reprobate com panion, into a boat above the rapids, and in their drunken orgies the little ones were thrown out and drowned, though the two drunken wretches escaped. Hates for Advertisements wul be inneried at ‘J cn Cen per line lor tho flint insertion. anti five ce* v per lino for each subsequent Insertion. Quar orly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements In orted aid liberal reduction ou the above rates Advertisements should bo accompanied by tha Cash. Wnon sent without any length of tlm* specified for publication, they will be continued until ordered out and onnrgcd accordingly. -NO. 22. ’(JAttns, irANuuir.L9,(jiucai.Aiw, and every oth description of Jfm and Caro Printing. " The weigh of tho world." Short weight. 'iioWbe’d.' 0 -“ man notn ®“" T W " uf > An unpleasant sort of arithmetic, Di* vision among families. • • The nation which produces tlic moat marriages must be fascination. ' What should clergymen preach about? About fifteen minutes. • A SMILE Is ever tho most bright and beautiful with a tear upon it. What U dawn without its dew ? _ • It has been asked. * when rain falls, does it ever get up ? Of course it does— in dew time. A MiSEHAiiLE wretch of an old bache lor observes that he looks under tho mar* riago head for tho noose of the weak. ‘Poor Lucinda took that circumstance very much to heart.’ Did she indeed ! Tlio dear girl ! I wish V was that cir cumstance. Make no haste to bo rich,'lf you would prosper. Small ami steady gains give competency with tranquilly of mind. . TwENTVmarrled women In this coun try propose to become preachers. Here- tofore they-have ouly been lecturers. The young lady who fell dead—ln love with a young gentleman—immediately revived on being asked to name the day. A man lost in tlie’c3]sital of Rhode Island consoled himself by remembering that the ways of Providence are past find ing out. . Tina norve which never relaxes—the eye which never blanches—the thought which never wanders—those are the mas ters'of victory. • ‘Wouldn’t you call this the calf of a leg? 1 asked Bob, pointing to one of his netherlimbs. ‘No,’ replied Pat—‘lshould say it was the leg of a calf.’ The entire assets of a New York bank ■upt were nine children. The creditors iid the handsome thing, and let him seep every one of tbom. Brown, speaking to Robinson of Jones the other day, said, ‘His virtues may be summed up in a single line.’ ‘Certainly,’ replied Jones,’ 'if.tbere is a noose at the free end.’ Tin? form's of good brooding, have been properly compared to the’cotton and oth er soft materials placed , between china vases, to prevent collision. It Is Said that four boxes govern the world—tho cartridge box, tho ballot box. tho jury box, and the bandbox.. True enough. Givjia smart child a pack ov cards and a spelllb bonk, and lie will learn to play a good came ov hi lojack long before be kin spell a woid ov two sillables. .Very queer that a bit of dust will near ly put out tho eye of ayoung man, when he may have a whole young lady ln .it and see better than ever: Train is indifferent as to who leaves the hall while he Is speaking. Like Ten nyson's Brook, men may come and men may go, but he runs on forever. An American editor cautions his tall readers against kissing short women, as the habit has rendered hint exceedingly round shouldered. Lady—‘Before I engage you, I should like to know what your religion is. 1 Cook—'Oh, ma’am, I‘always feels it my duty to bo of the same religion as the family I’m in.’ There is said to bo an organization of blood thirsty young females in Ohio, the ohjectbf which is to intimidate tho young m«m to-discontinue the habit of waxing moustaches. They, tickle so! Hood once'said that there was a family living near him that had a mile of daugh ters ; the mime of the family was Fur long, and there were eight of them. • ‘ Remember who you are talking to, sir,’said uu indignant parent to a face tious boy ; ‘I am your father.’ ‘Well, who's to .blame for that,* said the young impertinence; “taint me.’ • Old Saws with New Handles.— Beauty is skin deep; but Nature did not 'm that account bideit; A stitch in lime may save nine ; but he never seems to he entirely uewn up. Birds of a feather flock together; yet in a flock bed you will not find a feather at all. A cokuesi*ondent, writing from Chi na, says : ‘.This country is rapidly under going the process of civilization. Beer U made nt Shanghae, a whiskv distillery is goingup.at Canton,and thn first hanging came oft in that city with great eclat, 1 ‘So there’s another rupture at Mount Vociferous,’ said Mrs. Partington, as she put down the paper, ami put-up her specs; the paper tells us about the burn ing lather running down the uiouutaln ; but if don’t tell how it got fire.' In a storm at sea, the'chaplain asked one of the crow if ho thought there was any danger. *Oh, yes,’replied the sailor; ‘if*it blows as hard as it does now, wo .shall all be in heaven before twelve o’- clock at night.’ The chaplain, terrified at the expression, .cried out, : 'lhc Lord forbid! 1 An ill-humored English wife, abusing her husband on account of tils mercenary disposition, told him that if she was dead, ho would marry the dovii’a oldest daugh ter, if lie could get anything by it. ‘That is truß t * replied the husband, ‘ but the worst of it is, in England, one can’t mar fry two sisters.’ Ghicat crimes ruin comparatively few. It is the little meanness, selfishness and impurities that do the work of .death on most men; and these tilings march not to theamiml of drum and fife. They steal with mullled tread, as the foe steals on the sleeping sentinel. A okntlkman, whose nose had become distinctly colored wjth the red wine ho was wont to imbibe, said one day to his little son at the table : 1 You must eat bread, my boy; bread makes your cheeks red.’ The little boy replied: ‘Father, what lots of bread you must have''muffed up.’ A MtNiSTßit out West vouches to the Independent for the truth of the follow ing: * A Kansas girl was standing baud in hand with her lover, eyes and mouth agape, watching the incoming of the first train on a new railroad. ‘The locomotive was quiet until it came«into tho depot ; but when the whistle blew, as tho engine was stopping, the girl burst out with the exclamation, * Whj/ % la! she vmnptum m afore she bettered!' A fokeioneu, who heard of the Yan kee propensity for bragging, '.bought be would beat Hie natives at their own little game. Seeing some very large water melons on a market woman’s stand, lie exclaimed, ‘What! don’t you raise larger apples than these in Arner.c i?’ The quick wilted woman immediately re plied: * Anybody might know you’re a foreigner—them’s gooseberries.” We have it from the ladles, that If there is one thing above another that will ruf flo their temper, it is to hear the front door hell ring, and iu anticipation of cal lers, drop broom and duster, run to the glass and put on a clean collar and apron, give an extra touch to their hair, and go to the door, to he greeted with: u i)o you want to buy enny potatoes, to-day," mum ?” or, “ hev ye any old clothes to give away? 5 ’ A littlk ragged urchin, being in tho streets the other day, was asked by a lady who tilled his basket, if his parents were living. ‘Only dad, ma’am,’ said the boy. ‘Then you have enough in your bosket to feed the family for some lime,' said the lady. *Oh, no, I haven’t neither, the lad ‘ for me and dad keep five boarders ; he ’does tho housework, and I do the Danrket’n.* JOB PRINTING. ©Dtrs anlr IEutJS. v
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers