I”^=: o r" . |J It $.. tttC fl-'H .• - l : ) 0111t£ (f ir omcE-sotrm mabket square. / Terms;—Two Dollars per year If paid strictly ’I * In advance 5 Two Dollars and Fifty Cents if paid within three months; after which Three Dollars will bo charged. These terms will bo rigidly ad- '■'■'■ ■ > ■ ■■ ■■■■ —-— : . continued until all arrearages are paid, unless at BY BRATTON & KENNEDY. .. CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, JUNE 27, 1867. VOL. the option of the Editor. . • * . professional (Sartos. T M WEAKLEY, Attorney at Law. • I a office on Bonth -Hanover street, in the room formerly occupied by A. B. Sharpe. Esq. Til E. BELTZHOOVER, Attorney Jj , and Counselor at Law, Carlisle, Penna. Ofllce on South Hanover street, opposite Bentz's Store. By special arrangement with the Patent Office, attends to securing Patent Rights. Dec. 1,1805. M. B. BUTLER, ATTORNEY AT LAW AND UNITED STATES CLAIM AGENT, CARLISLE, CUMBERLAND CO. PA. Pensions, Bounties, Back Pay,' do., promptly collected. - Applications by mall will receive due attention, and too proper blanks and instructions forward* ed. In all letters of inquiry, please enclose postage stamp. , March 28,1807—tf CHAS. E. MAGLAUGHLIN, Attor ney at Law. Office in Building formerly occupied by Volunteer, a few doors South of Han* non’s Hotel. Doo. 1,1865. GM. BELTZHOOVER; Attorney s at Law and Real Estate Agent. Shepherds* town, West Virginia. Prompt attention given to all business In joflbrson county and the Counties adjoining it. Feb. 16,1866— ly. JOHN. C. GRAHAM, Attorney at • I Law. Office formerly occupied by Judge Graham, South Hanover street, Carlisle, Penna. Deo. 1, 18G5-4By.fr , . ' ■ MC. HERMAN, Attorney at Law, . Office in Bhoem’s Hall Building, in the rear oftho Court House, next door to the “Her l old” Office, Carlisle, Penna, s 1 Deo. 1,1865. , . ___ WM.J. SHEARER, Attorney &o. at Law, Carlisle, Pa. Office near Court juouso, South side of Public Square, in ” Inhofl's Corner” second floor. Entrance, HanovorStreet, 43- Practicing In all the Courts of this Judicial District, prompt attention will bo given to all business in the Counties of Pony anaJunlata, os well as of Cumberland. May 24,1868—1y*. VKT F. SADLER, Attorney at Law, VY , Carlisle, Penna. Office in Building for* mcrly occupied by Volunteer, South Hanover street. Doc. 1, 1805. TXT KENNEDY Attorney at Law, VY • Carlisle, Penna. Office same as tbatot ffic “American volunteer," South side of the Pub* lib Square. Doc. 1 1805. JOHN LEE, Attorney at Law, North Hanover Street, Carlisle, Pa., Peb. 16,1808—1 y. TAMES-A. DDNBAR, Attorney at • I Law, Carlisle, Penna. Office a few floors west of Hannon’s Hotel. Dec. 1,1805. DR. J. R. BIXLER offers his profes sional services to the citizens of Carlisle and, vicinity.- . . Office on Main street, opposite the jail, in the room lately occupied by L. Todd, Esq. April 11,1807— ly. NEWTON SHORT. M. D., Physi , clan and Surgeon, Pa.— iitcfal lor past favors, would most respectful* ly inform his friends and the public generally,' that ho is still practicing Medicine and Surgery: In all their branches. Special attention given to the treatment of diseases of the Eye and Ear, and all other ohroalo affections.. Office in Wilson’s Building, Main St., up stairs. Nov. 20,1888. ' . I\E. GEORGE S. SEARIGHT, Den / tist. .From the Baltimore College of Denial ryery. Office at the residence of nls mother, East Louther Street, three doors below Bedford, Carlisle, Penna. Doc. 1,1885. SENTISTRY— Dr. W.B. Shoemaker— Practical Dentist, Nowville, Pennsylvania. ;e in Miller’s Building. Feb. 22, 1860.—1 y. JQAVID F. MILLER, SURVEYOR AND DRAFTSMAN, MOUNT ROCK, CUMBERLAND CO., PA. April 18,1807-Sm* fflrg ®ooUa. 1867., SPEINGI 1867. BARGAINS Now opening in DOMESTIC GOODS, DBESS GOODS, CASSIMERES, SATTINETTS AND JEANS, WHITE GOODS, DBESS TRIMMINGS, ZEPHYRS , RIBBONS AND NOTIONS RING’S NEW STORE, NO. 05 WEST main street, Opposite the Mansion House, Next door to the Post Office, Carlisle. April 18,1867. OUT DRY GOODS MEN! TO THE PUBLIC. I have Just returned from the East with my Spring Stock, and as usual. 1 am selling Goods a Uttlo cheaper than any other Dry Goods House in town, Ido not think it necessary to occupy a column of newspaper to endeavor to keep up my deputation for selling Cheap Goods, nor do I wish to resort to any other clap-trap to gull the public. All 1 oak of them is to call and examine for themselves, and 11 not satisfied with the pri ces, not to bay. Remember the stand. No. 82 North Hanover street, next door to Dr. Kiefler’s, and Miller & Bowers* Hardware store. WM. A" MILES. , **• 8. I will say nothing about' my third and xourth grand openings. April 18,1867. 028 HOOP SKIRTS. 628. NEW. SPRING STYLES. “OUR OWN MAKE.rt every New and Desirable, size, style Plain and Trail Hoop Sklrta.-T “ 2 E. 2 8-4,3 1-4,8 1-2.8 8-1 and 1 Yds., round A en ßth and size Waist; In every respect fho F Quality, and especially adapted to meet Trad WaQtS °* rst Class and most fashionable m Make,” of Hoop Skirts, are lighter, jnore elastic, more durable, and really cuoper K*? d “y. other moke of either Single or Doable EpHQg Skirt in thp American Market. They are ln cveryrespect, and wherever intro uncea give universal satisfaction. They are now ?®*PB extensively Bold by Be toilers, and every bady should try them- . ' p lor “Hopkln’s Own Make,” and see that |&QnaklrilatsiamjM»a“W. T HOPKINtSMANU. FA.OTURER, 026 Arch Street, pnilodelpaUk.’*— No others are Genuine / A catalogue containing otyi© size and Be tail Prices, sent to any address. A Uniform and Liberal Discount allowed to Deal* 6rB » - Orders by mall or otherwise, promptly and carefully filled—Wholesale and Retail, at Honu lactory and Hales*rooms. No. U2BAEOH Street. PHILADELPHIA, . gklrts made to order, altered and repaired. Terms, Net Cash. One Price Only.' . WILLIAM T. HOPKINS. April 18.1807—10 m. ' J'UN FOR ALLII instructions by which any person, mole or letnoie, can master the greatartorVentnloqulsm ?y a few hoars* practice, making a world of fun, after becoming experts themselves, can teach Sr .W*» thereby making It a source of income.— By mail for6o cents. Sat- Heal Estate. ESTATE FOR EfALB!! W. J. SHEARER, ATTORNEY AT LAW, AND AGENT FOE THE SALE OF Cumberland Co. Real Estate, OFFERS THE FOLLOWING VALUABLE REAL ESTATE ,FOR SALE AT REASONABLE PRICES: ' in tub uonouou of oarAsle. A*. ...I. MVAVOUIft UI No. 1. SIX of the finest BUILDING LOTS in the Borough, on South Hanover Street. No. 2. The six most elevated BUILDING LOTS in the Borough, situated at the head of South St. IN THE COUNTRY. No. 8. A TRACT OP THIRTY-SIX ACRES, with small but comfortable BRICK DWELLING HOUSE, Frame Stable, do., and a young and thrlvlngOrcbard oi CHOICE FRUIT, situate on the Railroad, in North Middleton twp., West, and within a mile of, the Borough of Carlisle. This properly as a HOMESTEAD and for general or Truck Farming, Is the most desirable tract of its size to be found anywhere in the vicinity of Carlisle. . • The certain extension of the town West ward, partly consequent upon the .improve ments made and contemplated by the Railroad Company In that direction, drawing, as they necessarily will, nearly, the whole trade of the town to that end, will very greatly enhance the value of this land to the future owner, for any purpose whatever, rendcrlug it a safe and profit able investment. Fob. 28,1860. &c B. E W I N G , CABINET MAKER AND UNDERTAKER, WEST MAIN STREET, CARLISLE, PENN’A. A Splnfdid Assortment of NEW FURNITURE for tho Holidays, comprising Sofas, Gamp Stools, Lounges, Centre Tables, Backing Chairs, Dining Tables, Easy Chairs, Card Tables, Reception Chairs, Ottomans, '‘Utreaas, What-Nots. Secretaries, &c., <fec,, Parlor, Chamber. Dining Boom, kitchen run N I TUBE, of the Latest Stylos. COTTAGE FURNITURE IN SETTS. Splendid New Patterns. BEDSTEADS AND MATTRESSES, GILT FRAMES AND PICTURES, In. great variety.. Particular attention given to Funerals. Orders: from town and country attended to promptly and on reasonable terms. Deo. 43,1806—1 f WARE HOUSE TOWN AND COUNTRY. . The subscriber respectfully informs his friends and the public generally, that ho still continues the Undertaking business, and is ready to wait upuu customers either by day or by night. Ready mode Coffins kept constantly on hand, both Slain and ornamental. He has constantly on and Fisk's Latent Aletallc Burial Case, of which bo has been appointed the solo agent. This case is recommended os superior to any of tho kind now In use, it being perfectly air tight. He has also furnished himself with u now Rose* wood Heabsb and gentle horses, with which ho will attend funerals la town and country, per sonally, without extra charge. Among the greatest discoveries of tho ago is Well’s Opting MaUrasa, tho best and cheapest bed uow in use, the exclusive right of which 1 havo secured, and will be kept constantly on hand. CABINET"' MAKING, In all Its various branches, carried on, and Beau teous. Secretaries, Work-stands, Parlor Ware, Upholstered Chairs, Sofas, Pier, Side and Centre Tables, Dining and Breakfast Tables, Wash stands of all kinds, French Bedsteads, high and low posts: Jenny Lind and Cottage Bedsteads. Chairs of all kinds, Looking Glasses, and all other articles usually manufactured In this lino of business, kept constantly on band. Hiw workmen are men of experience, bis ma terial the best, and his work made in the latest city stylo, and all under his own supervision. It will be warranted and sold low for cash. He invites all to give him a coll before purchas ing elsewhere. For the liberal batronage hero toiire extended to him he feels Indebted to his numerous customers, and assures them that no efforts will be spared in future to please them In style and price. Give us a call. Remember the place, North Hanover' street, nearly opposite the Deposit Carlisle.^^ Dec. 1,1805. |_| O L I D AY AND WEDDING PRESENTS! A. Fink Lot of GOLD, AMERICAN, SILVER, AND IMPORTED WATCHES, A Splendid Assortment of SOLID AND PLATED SILVER WARE, Gold Fens, Gold Chains, Fancy Goods , dc. Fine Setts of KNIVES AND FORKS,- CLOCKS IN GREAT VARfEIV, GOLD RINGS, GOLD AND' SILVER THIMBLES. Particular attention given to repairing WATCHES, CLOCKS AND JEWELRY. . THOS. CONLYN, AgU No! 11 West Main St., opposite Marlon Hall. Deo. 20,1860—6m piPEE’S " BOOK AND FANCY STORE, AND GENERAL NEWS DEPOT, 33 WEST MAIN STREET, CARLISLE, PA. A fine assortment of Goods on hand, such as Writing Desks, Fort Folios, Ladles Companions, Work Boxes, * Satchels, Ladles' Purses, • Pocket Books, Segar Cases, • V Cord Cases, Gold Pens, Pen Knives, &0., &o t A LARGE SUPPLY OP FAMILY BIBLES and PHOTOGRAPHIC ALBUMS, AT REDUCED PRICES. DIARIES FOR 1867. Subscriptions received for all Magazines. Fash ion Books, Papers, Ac., at publishers prices. You save postage and always sure of receiving your Mogazlnea by subscribing at Piper's. , Special attention is paid to keeping always on handasupply 0f.... SCHOOLBOOKS, for town and country schools. Books and Music ordered when desired. May 23.1807—tf . pHOTOGBAPHS , A FOR THIS MILLION! I will send, post-paid, 60 Photographs of the most celebrated Actors for CO cents; f6O Actresses for GO cents; 60 Union Generals foB 50cents; 60 Rebel Generals for 60 cents; GO Statesmen for GO cents; GO beautiful young Ladles for 60 cents; 60 fine-looking young Gentlemen for|6o cents; fl large Photographs of French Dancing Girls, in , costume, beautifully colored, exactly as they ap pear, for 60 cents; or for 60 cents, vof the most beautiful Ladles of the Parisian BallfctTVoape; as they appear in . the play of the Black Crook, ay Nlblo's Garden; New York. *' * / ‘ * Send aU orders to F. O. Box 177, Tr6y, N. Y, MftyiMfiGMy Insurance CTompanles. ' Q. E E A T EASTERN DETECTIVE HORSE AND LIVE STOCK INSURANCE CO. OF PENNSYLVANIA. HORSES, MULES, AGAINST LOSS BY THEFT, AND DEATH BY FIRE, ACCIDENT OR NATURAL CAUSES. This Is tho only Dclcdivc Live Stock Insurance Company In tho State; and, moreover, it Covers All Risks, while others Insure only against cer tain circumstances. SAM’L K. HUMRICH, i • Special Agent, 1 Office 20 West Slam BU, Carlisle, Saji’l" Hoover, Local Agent, Mochanicsburg, Pa.; J. AC. McCune, Local Agent , Shlppensburg, May SO, 1807—Ora, ' gPECIAL INSURANCE AGENCY I Over $25,000,000 of Capital Represented. Homo, Metropolitan, Manhattan, Artie, Secu rity, North American, Germaula, all of Now York. Aetna and Phoemx of Hartford. Conn.; North American of Philadelphia, Pa.; Farmers Mutual of York, Fa.; Columbia Mutual of Lan caster, Pemi’a. The main element to bo desired In Insurance Companies Is SECURITY. , If wealth, experience, Intelligence and probity exist, perpetuity aud honorable dealing will he likely to ensue. insurance creates Independence. A person pays for his own Indemnity, and need not bo a tax on his friends. Every man should Insure; tho burning ol whose property would injure or inconvenience himself, his family, or his neighbors. Insurance effected at this agency, no mattei how largo tho amount, In cither Stock or Mutual Companies. Policies issued, losses adjusted and prompciy-paid at cnxs omce. SAMUEL K. HUMRICH, ttpecioi J/wurance Agent. Office In Marlon Hall Building, West Main street, Carlisle.or to tho following local agents; J. E. Ferree,Newvlllo; John R. Shuler.New Bloom hold, P6rty County, Pa.; or A. H. Weldman, MiffimCb'wn, Juniata County, Fa. Jan. 8j 1807—dm and Office Mutual life insurance co. OF NEW YORK. CASH ASSETS $15,000,000. This Is strictly and entirely a Mutual Company. It makes its dividends annually and pays tnem at the end of eaeh and every year. Its assets are not diluted, nur Us strength weakened by any doubtful premium notes or stockholders notes.— Doubtful securities hud no place In Its list oi cash assets. It charges its policy holders no In terest, and furnishes insurance at exact cost. • Twenty-four years ol straight forward, honora ble dealing, has made its name the synonym ol strength among business men, and is to-day the LEADING LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY of this continent. Possessing tho largest assets, tho largest amount insured, the largest income and the largest surplus over liabilities, us shown by the'offluial reports of tho Insurance Depart ment of New York, and which will bo shown to any persons wishing to determine lor themselves the true condition and standing of different com panies by applying to the agent, HAMUEL K. HUMRICH. Office No. 28 West Main St,, Carlisle, Jan, 8,1807 —um $2OO ■ REWAED j PENNSVL V»A NIA MUTUAL HORSE THIEF DETECTING AND INSURANCE COMPANY. From three to five.dollars will,insure your horse against thieves for five years. Persons desiring to become members will apply to * BAM'L K. HUMRICH, {{pedal Agent, Office 26 West Main St., Carlisle. Jan. 8,1867—Cm The railway passengers as surance COMPANY, of Hartford, Conn., insures against all kinds of Accidents. CAPITAL $304,800. For five thousand dollars In cose of fatal acci dent, or $25 Weekly Compensation In cose ol disabling bodily Injury, at 25 cents per day. For sale at SAMUEL K. HtJMRIOH’S. Office No. 26 West Main BU, Carlisle. Jan. 8,1867 0m Hartford live stock insu rance COMPANY. * CAPITAL $500,000. Horses Insured against death from any cause, or against theft. Working Oxen, Cows and Sheep may bo taken at 8 to 4 per cent on two thirds their cash value. Losses promptly adjusted at the Office of the Car lisle Agency. BAM*L K. HUMRICH, Special Agent. Office No. 26 West High St., Carlisle, March 14,1807—1 y . TjURB INSURANCE. *TThe ALLEN AND EAST PENNSBORO’ MU TUAL FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY, of Cum besiand county, Incorporated by an act of As sembly, in the year 1843, and having recently bad Its charter extended to the year 1883, is now in active and vigorous operation under the super intendence of the following Board of Managers: Wm. R. Gorgas, Christian Stayman, Jacob Eb erly, Daniel Bailey, Alexander Cathcart, Jacob H. Coover, John Eichelberger, Joseph Wlckerrs, Samuel Eberly, Rudolph Martin, Moses Brickor. Jacob Coover and J. C. Dunlap. The rates of insurance are os low and favorable as any*Compdny of the kind In the State. Per sons wishing to become members are invited to make application to the agents of the Company, who are willing to wait upon them, at any time. President—W. R.GOP GAB, Eberly *s Mills, Cum berland County. Vice President—Chbu TAN.STAYitAN, Carlisle, Secretory— John C. Dcnlap, Mecbanlcsburg. Treasurer— Dakikl Baii^ey, DUlsburg, York Co. Cumberland Cbunly—J onn Sherrick, Allen: Hen ry Zeoring, Shlremanstown: Lafayette Pefier, Dickinson; Henry Bowman, Ohurchtown; Mode Griffith, South Middleton; Samuel Graham W. Pennaboro*; Samuel Coovor, Mechanlcsburg; J. W. Uooklln, Shephordstown; D. Coover, Upper Allen; J. O. Saxton, Bilver .Spring: John' Hyor, Carlisle: Valentine Feeman, New Cumberland; James McCandhsh, Newvlllo. York County—W. 8. Picking, Dover: James Griffith, Warrington; T. F, Deardorff, Washing* ton; Richey Clark, DUisburg; D. Rutter, Fair view; John Williams, Carroll. jjauphin County —Jacob Houser, Harrisburg.. Members of the Company having policies about to expire, «m.n have them renewed by making ap plication to any -of the agents. Deo. 1 1865 Q.REAT. WATCH BALEI 2000 WATCHES, Patent Lever Movements, full jewelled, Hunting Cases; Sterling Silver, Beauti fully Engraved and In every respect first class Timers. /To be sold at six dollars each, being less than three-fourths the cost of manufacturing.— These watches are retailed by Jewelers at tram 815to£<6, the actual cost to the manufacturer being $0 each; This stock of watches was purchased at a Bankrupt Sato In London, aud ore now offered at such extremely low figures, that all may possess ‘a correct Time-keeper at a merely nominal sum. Every watch warranted for 2 years. Parties or dering them sent by mall, mast enclose 36 cents extra to repay postage. Money enclosed In a well sealed Jeuermayoß cent at tdy risk. r . v.i.i. . ■ i.iHMMan<irtflnita MARLIN CONNOR, May 10,1807—1 y Y JjIALSE WHISKER- AND MO USTA CHE. A BEAUTIFUL PAIR OF FALSE • MOUS TACHES AND WHTKHRRfI. of French manufac ture, so perfect they cannot be detected from (he genuine, will be sent post-paid by mall to any ad ress. Great attention Is paid in the manufac ture of these articles by one of the best artists In Paris, U.L. Fouchb, who is the best manufac turer In-Europe.' Moustaches, SLOOrßlde Whiff kors, 83.00; Full Beard, 85.00. „ -v Address, EL DORR, . Axbaky, N. Yt, . " 1 • sole Agent for thoUffited States. May 16,1857-iy/ ' INSURES CATTLE, AND SHEEP. AGENTS. IfoflkaL gn'lNGllta ON A BIRCH TREE. BY IitTCY tAKCOM. Swinging on a birch tree * To a sleepy tunc, Hummed by nil the breezes In the mouth of Juno t Little leaves a-lluttcr Bound like dancing drops Of ft brook on pebbles— Song that never stops. Up und down we sco-saw; Up into the sky; How it opens on us, Like a wild blue eye I You and I oro sailors Rocking on a most; '■And the world’s our vessel Ho 1 she sails so fast I Blue, blue sea around us, i Not a ship iu sight; , They will hong out lanterns { When they puss, to-night. Wo with ours will follow Through tho midnight deep; | Not tv thought of danger, Though tho crew’s asleep. O, how still tho air 1b I There an oriole flow; What a Jolly whistle I He's a sailor, too, « Yonder Is Ills hammoclc In tho elm-top high; One more ballad, messmate! Sing It as you fly! Uf» and down wo sco-saw; Down into tho grass, Been ted fern, and roso-buds, All a woven mass, That's the sort of carpet Fitted for our feet; Tapestry nor velvet • Is so rich and neat. Swinging on a birch tree! This Is summer Joy, Fun for all vacation— Don't you think so, boy ? Up and dowu to see-saw, Merry and at ease; Careless os a brook Is, Idle as tho breeze. 4;:ti%riffalttion4, “THE SCSI MAN WINS HEB.” CHAPTER I. Hid away In tho loveliest part of Perth shire, nestling among the bfteu-sung Braces of Balquhldiier, lies Loch Voel, upon the shores of which Bob Roy lived and died j and where, In the quiet, lonely kirkyard rests “ Clan Alpin’s omen and her aid.” There are M'Orcgora still in the eiacham of Balquiiidder, M’Gregora who speak with glistening eye and heightened color'ofthechief, andamongst' whom no tales are so popular as those, which treat of tho wild days when the elan with the “name nameless by day” was at once tho terror and protection of, the country. Every child knows the sto ry of the fends between the M’Larensand the M’Gregors, and how the Stewarts of Appin, coming to help their kinsmen, were met by the clansmen at the da chan, 1 where Rob Roy challenged any ono of Appin to single combat, eager, bv even 1 such personal hazard, to avert the lienors of a battle They will tell you, too, how the great Duke of Athol exhausted his time and patience trying to catch Rob Roy j and the story of the funeral, when Lady Qlenfalloch, thinking her brother was slain, sprang upon the Duke, and, dragging him from his horse, gave him such a taste of the tenderness of the M’- Gregors that he took timely wnrnlngand retired, leaving Rob to bury his mother in peace and quiet.' Borne ten years ago a descendant of Bob Roy’s, Helen M'Gregor, was the beauty of Balqu bidder. Helen was a fair, blue-eyed, golden-haired lassie, with whom life had been one long laugh, and to whom the world seemed to bear neith er frowns nor clouds. Her father, Tam M'Gregor, was p farmer, and well-to-do for his station ; his sons helped him on the hills, and Helen was a tidy hand in the house, quite able to take many cares from her mother’s shoulders. Their cottage stood away from the cla chan, near the foot of the Meal-mach. A lovely little steading it was too, with high gray rocks on one side, on the other an oak and birch wood.amoug the branch es of which the.soft summer breezes, when they bad kisfeed the lake in to a rip ple of delight, would sigh, and whisper their pleasant songs of brighter and . warmer lands. ' Tam’s cottage bad sewed the wants of many a generation of M’Gregor’s, heie a little and there a little being added, as the owner’s family increased or his for tunes prospered. The was matted together by a flourishing growth pf varl ous plants, wallflowers and house-leek predominating. Boses and honeysuckle flourished lu the narrow border, and clus tering round the windows, mot gay and thriving geraniums, votive offerings from the gardener at Gleubuckie, who was one of Helen’s many admirers. Helen, being fancy-free herself, was wont to make a joke about love; and not curing forelther fairs or gatherings, escaped much of the gossip which attaches to other girls.— Yet, qhietly as the little maiden lived she could no more avoid lovers than can the violet hide away her treasures from the bee. “ Love will venture in whar he darna weel bo seen,” and accordingly Helen’s lovers were neither few nor slack in making their way to the farm ; while, much to the girl’s discomfort, her moth er took pride to herself in counting the stalwart, well-to-do lads who would take a place by the ingle-nook, and while talking,to the farmer of the ewes, wcjol, and markets, would hope to catch astray glance, kinder than usual, from Helen ; who, however, went on with her spin ning os if no eyes were seeking hers, and there were no such thing us love or wooing. And many a lad doubtless thought with Hobble Elliott, that “ whirling a bitstick wi’ a thread trailing to it,” was but poor and tiresome work. One man came oftouer than the rest, so often that it was whispered about that Helen and Duncan were courting, nor did Duncan attempt to deny what ho wished in his inmost heart was true. — He had loved Helen long, and had only wailed for a farm to enter the lists open ly. Now he hud a farm and decen t house to take a wile to, be thought the right time bad come: and soon, seeing he hud the good will or both father and mother, ho was content to wait patiently until some happy day when Helen’s heart would waken up, and his love meet its reward. And if Duncan was patient, it was because, never having doubted his success, he experienced a sort of gratifica tion In beating down his passion, or an ticipating trora a distance the time when Helen would spin by his owu.heartb, and pay him back tenfold for what she made him Buffer now. The honest folks in Balquhiddercalled Helen a lucky lassie, and watched the courting with general interest, not un mixed with onvy, for Duncan was one of the handsomest and steadiest of the young, men; more than that, and what perhaps went even further among the girls, Duncan was the champion wrestler, runner, and hammer-thrower, and twice had he carried oft' prizes from the Brae mar Gathering. Duncan’s courting had made no further impression upon Helen when the Gathering of 185 — drew on.— All the world went to Braemar that year, and Duncan, much to his own surprise aud the indignation of the Balquhidder people, was beaten both in Wrestling and throwing by a new-comer, a young man who, by his superior style of dress and manner of speech; was evidently from a different part of the country, if not in deed of a different rank in life to that of the Irate young Highlander; and when standing hot and angry after his failure, he was by no .means comforted by seeing Helen’s cheeks redden before the glances of tho victor, who, cap in hand, intro duced hlmscif to Tam M’Oregor, as the son of his old friend, Neil Lesley, and saying that ho*had come to tho Gather ing on his way to Balquhidder, his fath er having told him of the sheep-farraing there, and how, for auld acquaintance sake, he might bo lucky enough to get his lesson in the management of docks from Tam himself, a lesson ho meant to Putin practice ns a farmer in Australia. Tara pleased to find his friend had not forgotten him, nor was he proof against the compliment neatly offered to hisfarmingskill. Moreover there is nev er a'lack of hospitality among the Celts, and Tam made his young friend welcome to the best bis house afforded so long as ho liked to stay.. Niel was a fair-haired, blue-eyed man, tall and light-limbed, bufwith the mus cles ami sinews of a prize-fighter. Ho had been at tho High School in Edin burg, was well up in modern topics, and able to hold -forth upon subjects which rarely reached the ears of the inhabitants of the Braes, except when the shooting season brought down the great folk, and the great folk brought their servants; then politics, parliaments, and the court were familiarly discussed in every shiel ing. Niel was no idler, either In work, or play, or love. Everything he set his hand to be did In the manner, we are told, is sure to succeed. No wonder that falling in iove, as he did at once, he roused what poor Duncan had watched and waited for in vain; and, waking up the sleeping heart, brought the iovelight into the sweet hazle eyes, that softened and dropped now as they had never done before any man's gaze. There was no question of love speech between the two, and yet, before the summei come, Helen had found out what ardifierent place love could make the world. There had never been such healherou the hills, or brack en and wild roses on tho braces, as now bloomed; the love filter was acting, and nature took tone, as it always does, from the heart. > » ■ “ How bonnio you’re growing, Nelly,” said Tom one day, as Helen came running up the grass, her hair escaping from the snood, the gay cotton abort gown coming halfway dowu tho stripee linsey petti coat, which was just short enough to show her neatly-clad feet and shapley ankles, coquettlshly arrayed In bright stockings, with elaborately embroidered clocks. “What’s come to tho lassie, wife? She’s breakin’ the hearts of half lads in tho place. There’s Duncan, pulr lad, flent a smile he’H'gie now, but gangs as dour “ Wbeesht, foither!” cried Helen, shut ting his mouth with a rosy little palm.— “ Here’s Duncan cornin’.” As she spoke Duncan stalked up to the door. It was easy to see that something' had gone against the grain ; the expres sion of his face, the tone of his voice, his very gait were changed; his clothes were thrown on with a carelessness unlike former days, and bis eyes, restless and bloodshot, turned uneasily to Helen, os he made some common-place remark to her father concerning the-weather. Helen’s color deepened. Something in the man’s eyes struck like a knife to her heart, and lay there rankling, ma king the hot blood spring to her face, and the hand that had been on her fath er’s mouth clench fiercely as if to beat back some burst of angering indignation. But the flush faded the next moment, and a shudder shook her from head to foot, for Niel came iu from tho hill, and as ho turned the corner of tho hedge, and Duncan’s eyes fell upon him, Helen saw the thick black brows drawn passionate ly together, the big veins start like knot ted cords, and the strong teeth set hard in tho nether Up. She saw' this, and even then her heuatsunk with uu unde fined fear; but it was not until some days afterwards, when the braces were ring ing with the mysterious disappearance of Neil Lesley, that the full significance of that look was revealed to her. CHAPTER 11. Many and various were the reports cir culated, until bk the expiration ot four days they all down into one strong judgment against Niel—a judg ment which Helen’s outburst of grief and pale stricken face unwittingly strength ened ; and it was firmly believed that Neil, having won her love, hud grown tired of her, and, to rid himself of her and his debt of gratitude to her father utonce, had made a moonlight flitting. Duncan openly took little part in all that was said, so much so, that those busy people who are always, in all ranks, looking af ter their neighbors’ affairs, began to hold him up as an example of unselfish gener osity. There was one, however, to whom his silence had a different signification, and fclxvt was weieu, -wto, trmn Uio day tho alarm was given, had remembered that afternoon when she saw, as plainly as if written in black and white, the ha tred unto death stumped in Duncan's face. She alone, watching as none other could, heard tho impatient manner of speech, and saw tho strange look that had qome upon the man’s fuee: and a horri ble suspicion and dread filfeitflier mind, harder to bear than all the cruel thugs raised against Neil’s character. There was one small ray of comfort left—a col ley dog she had given Neil had disap peared the same day he was missed. lie. must be Moss was with him; and if he had run away, as the people said, ho woujd scarcely take such a continual sling to his conscience, ns the luilhlul dog must be. So, In spite of the deadly fears that would at timesover.vhelm her, Helen held fast by hope, hiding her anx iety as best she could by getting away amongst the hills, and wandering about where she would meet.no one to pity or condole with*her. The fifth day had come; it was a busy time, too, for they were gathering the flocks off the hills previous to the shoot ing season, and so it came about that Helen fell in with a flock In a lonely puss on tile road to Ben Ledi, and eager to es cape the shepherds, she scrambled up tho Danas ami ma nerseirarnnngme whins: - 1 Down the pass came the sheep, filling the air with their voices, stopping now and then to snatch a mouthful of heath er. glancing away to the hill side, Helen caught sight of a (jog bound ing down over scaur and bush*; but not until it was nearer, and diverted by tho sounds in the glen, had turned aside and taken its stand upon a rock along the foot of which the sheep were passing, did she recognize her old coliey, the very Moss she had given Niel. Helen’s heart leapt to her mouth as she leant forward to watch tho dog, who falling into his old trade, stood yelping and howling over the flock, waking every echo In the pass, and rousing a perfect storm of bleating. * * Helen tried to whistle, but her lips were shaking ami dry. Then she called him by name. The dog came rushing up to her, and was soon whining at her side, licking her hands and face., As soon us she could see anything clearly through the tears yiat were blinding her, she saw that a blue ribbon was tied round Moss’ neck, neatly hidden amongqt the thick wool. Helen tho ribbon; it had once been hers; and she knew no hand but Niel’s could have tied it there, and—. But suddenly she ceased think ing. She had unfastened the string, and found a little bit of white calico, and read on it written in blood, the words, il Hclp / Jiciver's Cray." Helen cannot tell to this day how she got home; but in a little more than half au hour the clachan was deserted, and mou and women were all on their way to the Reiver's Crag, a barren rock among the mountains, from which it was said a Cumberland reiver had been flung in the old days. The miles of moss and muir land ,were soon crossed, and by evening Niel Lesley was rescued from a living death, and safe, but uot sound, at Tam M’Gregor’s. Sound, poor lad I theywhla-: pered he never would be.again. u He had slipped over the Crag, and iu going down had caught at a whlnbush, which checked the impetus of his descent, and instead of going to the bottom of the cleft, he had fallen on a ledge. Here Moss had followed, but it was the fourth day before he could get the faithful dog to leave him, and bear home tidings that might save him.” Such was the account Niel gave, and such was the story that met Duncan as he came home from Callander, whither he had gone early in the day. Time passed on, and the shooting sea* son brought many a visitor to Tam’s cot tage, for Nell’s story was the romance of (he year. He was still unable to walk, but his health was All right,and the doo*. tore said he might get strong again in time. Niel never complained, nor could he, with such a nurse as Helen fluttering round him, propping him up with fra grant pill&vs stuffed with fresh-gathered heather and bracken, gathered, too, by the little hands that were so strong and ready with their labor of love. It was only when pain kept him restless at night that the thought of being a cripple for life crushed him, and brought out ail the training given by a good mother, and the staunch religious feeling inherent in al most every Scotlsh heart, the spirit that gave the world what Alexander Pemlen culied “the praying folk,” who carried their religion triumphantly through those terrible days when a bloody scaffold was thought a good shelter. It was nearly a month since the day Niel had been carried home from the Crag. Night had just come, still, warm, and almost like twilight. Tam was smoking his pipe preparatory to his early bedtime, the women folk were knitting, and Niel, lying upon a couch the laird’s sister had sent him, was .reading “Bob Roy” aloud, much to Tam’s perplexity, who interrupted many times with tier nunciations against the text. Suddenly the open ooorway darkened, and Duncan stood in the entry. “Welcome, lad,” cried Tam. “Ye’ro jist in time to hear the havers they bulk folk pit in print aboot the M’Gregors.— Read that again, Niel, that whar he says—” Dut Duncan interrupted him.- “Idldnaoross the door to hear lees read. I cam to speak about a lee, to tell ye”—and his voice grew louder and hoars er as he spoke—“ to tell yo that ane ye liked weexisaler. We’re a’frien’s here,” he said, in a different voice, looking around. ‘‘Ay, ay, man. Sit doon,” said Tam. taking his pipe out of his mouth, and turning to have a better look at Duncan. “ Why, what ails yo man I” “Mickle alls me, Tam M’Gregor, and I cam on a grpusorao errand. I nao come to tak’ aWa’ ye’re faith tn man for over* mair, and to shame a hypocrite wl’ the fair truth.” Helen laid down her knitting and drew nearer Niel; Tam glanced at him too. — N lei’s face was cfifioson, and his eyes, all diliated and eagdiv stared up at the great wild-looking man, glowering down upon him, who went on speaking. “ Niel says ho slippet doon tho Crag.— Ee didua slip. An enemy—” “Stop him, Helen I” shouted Niel, trying to get up, but falling, ho pushed the girl towards Duncan. “Stop him, forGort’ssake! ThelaU’smad. Hedoesn’t know what he’s saying. Don’t listen to him, Tam. Ho is a fine fellow and you all hear me say it. Duncan, man, shake hands with me, and do go quietly away, and let well alone.” Duncan’s answer was to drop dowu up on his knees by Niel’s side, and covering his face with hie hands, sob aloud. “Na, na, Niel, I canna let alane. I maun to tell them. Let me bide, lad ; it’s tho fittest place. And when I hae your forgiyeness, I*ll gang on my knees to the Almighty; but lcannaaskHim till I hae . confessed my sin.” “Well, let me tell it, Duncan,” said Niel, gently laying his hand upon the kneeling man’s shoulder. ■ “No!” cr.ed the other sternjy; “I’ll not get the worst, Tam and Helen, lam a murderer, or as bad, for I had the thocht In my heart to take his life. Niel cutme oot wl’ you, Nelly. Mad wl’ jealousy, I said we’d gang to the Keiver’s Crag, and fight, and the best man shall win ye.— Niel wad hardly gang till I telt him I’d ca’him through the country-side for a coward, and then he went. But when I got to the top o' the Crag, the diel got pos session o’ me, and catchin’ him unaware I hurled him ower, thinking deed men tell nae tales. I never thocht o’ the col- Jey. When I heerd tell he was fund. I was like to gang mud. Every futl thocht was a pollis; hut when the days passed, and Niel never tauld, it was war than a'. The hot burnlu’ coals were heaped on my heed t >burniu’ and smotherin’-i' the brain till this gloaming tho thocht cam to muk a clean breest, and then gang awa’ whar I’d never see a kenned face till the day o' judgment. Oh! Niel man, ye Ueu what loving her is; but even you cannn tell what my heart was, and how neither hluid nor damnation were ony worth if I could only ha’ won her here. Ye cannu forgle me, Nelly lass, for I hae made him a cripple; but just say* ‘ Duncan, I’ll ask the Lord to forgie ye,’ and I’ll gang awa' content.” Tam was the last to hold out the hand of forgiveness; but he, too, did so at lust, and then Duncan went away. M Upon the top of the bank ho turned, aud.capin hand stood looking at the cot tage. “Pair lad I he’s prayin', may he,” thought Mrs. M’Gregor, who had follow ed her old favorite to the door. Two years afterwards, and a few weeks after Niel and Helen were married, a let ter came to the former—a letter written by a comrade of Daucan’s and then they knew for the first time that he had en listed, and, going to India with one of the gallant regiments afterwards nick named “Sir Collin's petticoats,” the poor broken-hearted Jad had found tho death he coveted before the walls of Lucknow, and was lying mortally wounded In' tho hospital, where he dictated ids first and lust letter to Niel, bidding him good-by, and telling him to let the Balquhiclder folk know tho true story of tho Bolter's Crag. Old Fuji*—Throe hundred and fifty yciiPo ngo Wynkyn -Wo- Worito, who-' had his printlngofilce in Fleet street, London, “at tho sign of the Bwanne” published his “Deinandes Joyous.” which will* show tho notion! of fun which prevailed at that time. Q—How many cow’s tails would it take to reach from the earth to tho sky? A.,—No more than one, if It be long enough. Qi —what is tho distance from.lhe sur face of she sea, to the deepest part there of? A.•‘-Only a stone’s throw. (i.—What is it that never was and nev er will he?.A. —A mouse’s nest in a cal’s ear. • Q,.—Why do men make an oven in a town ? A.—Because they cannot make a town in ah oven. Q.—How may a man discern a cow in a flock of sheep ? A.—By his eyesight. Q,.Whydoth acowliedown? A,—Be cause it cannot sit. Q— \Vhat is It that never freezeth ? A.— Boiling water. A Q.—Which was first,hen or the egg? A. —The hen, at the crea ion. Q,.—How many straws go .to a goose’s nest? A.—Not one; for straws not hav-, Ing feet cannot go anywhere. California Style.— Not long since a German was ridingalongSansomostrect, near Sacramento, wl;en he heard a pistol shot behind him, and heard the whiz* zing of a ball near him, and felt his hat shake. He turned and saw a man with a revolver iu his band, and took oft his hat and found a fresh bullet hole |n it. “Did you shootat me?” asked the Ger man. u Yes,” replied the other party, “ that’s my horse; it was stoien from mo re cently.” “You must be mistaken,” said the Ger man ; “ I have owned the horse for three years.” " Well,” said the other, “ when I come to look at him, I believe I am mistaken. Excuse me sir; won't you take a drink ?” COURT O’LANCS* EPISTLE. About (Joins to Europe*—Captain Dancnn'i Trip to l*alc»tlno—A Pronpccta* of ibo Bouto. Everybody seems to bo going to Eu rope. That is everybody who is anybody, or wants to bo regarded as such. You and I excepted. I shouldn’t wonder if I should be obliged to go myself. Mrs. O’Lanus threw out some hints on the subject the other day, -that is she re marked that as everybody appeared to be going, she didn’t see why an# couldn’t go lf Europe is such a nice place to why do alt these Europeans come over here, preferring Castle Garden to the Paris Exhibition ? That is what X asked Mrs. O’Lanus, and not being able to get over It right away , she said no more about going to Europe. The difference between our emigrants and our Immigrants Is this: poor folks corao here,' and rich ones go to Europe ; which don’t look like a fair exchange, does it? Europe la a capital place to spend mon ey in, though not worth much to mukoit in, com pared with our own great and glo rious country, where every man is at lib ty to make all he can the best way he knows how, aud as long us he steers clear of the State Prison he is hunky dorey, The effete despotisms of the old world place ridiculous restrictions upon a man’s efforts to get rich. 'When 1 have made more money than I can spend here, comfortably, I may go to Europe to get rid of it. At present with strawberries at sixty cents a quart, I find 1 can invest all my salary in houa hold expenditures. I am sorry I can’t go*with Captain Dun can to Palestine, aud Palestine will no doubt bo greatly disappointed when the party gets there aud it is found that 1 am not with them. But Brooklyn has claims upon me which I can’t forego. I am sorry for Captain Duncan because he counted on having some distinguished individual In the qrowd. The people of Europe, degraded in their tastes by the form of government under which they live, worship greatness, and a distinguished American wtmld have been an excellent card for the party, and as sured them of a grand reception at every port. The Captain has been disappointed ih his lions, lirst Br thcr Beecher backed out, then General Sherman, and my en gagements prevent me from going*. It bos caused several others to back out, who couldn’t thluk'of going unless Beech er* Sherman, or I went along. Brother Griswold stuck to the Captain as long as there was any prospect of se curing a lion. He got over Beecher’s desertion, but when he heard that Sherman had back* ed out, and that 1 couldn’t be induced to. go, he gave up. It will be a nice trip, notwithstanding; the prosp- ctus is enough to make your mouth water. The Captain has secured the steamship Quaker City, the picture of which s hung up in Morris’ picturestorc window, audis quitb a work of art. That is the picture, not the.ship. She is a well seasoned craTt, she has been on the seas for some years, and has never to anybody’s knowledge, or burst her boilers, or any other unpleasantness. The Captain is a nice man, and so is the engineer. As for the cook be is the best bred raan in the profession, and the stew ard is the most obliging creature, and will not insist on the passengers taking their meals regular when they are too sea sick to sit up in their berths and eat any thing. An ample supply of coal will bo taken on board to last to the next stopping place. THE ROUTE to be taken has been marked out on the map-one copy of which wilJ be kept in the pilot-house, so that the captain will know which way to steer, and another copy hung up in the saloon, so that the passen gers may know where they are going to. The course will be across the Atlantic, and in a bee lino for GIBRALTAR, a celebrated British watering place on the Spanish coast, famous for its rock, which was at one time used for candy, until sup planted in juvcuilo popularity by the Chinese confectioners, who introduced pine-apple rock candy and sold it on wheelbarrows at the street corners at a penny a chunk. The tourists will be allowed to inspect the rock at Glbralter, but will not be al lowed to bring ii away. From Gibraltar the steamer will pro ceed by water to VALENCIA, which is situated in Spain, the population of which) is Spanish, a peculiar people \vh« live on raisins. The chief occupation of the mule Spaniards is serenading with guitars dark-eyed senoritas, who dance in Bolero divinely. (I have seen them do It at the opera.) These engaging pursuits are varied oc casionally by bull-lights, several of which will bo got up for the entertainment of the Duncan party. The Quaker City will then sail for MARSEILLES, a city celebrated for white vests and the Marseilles hymn, wnicb is constantly sung by the inhabitants and played in cessantly on thp hrfftd organs. This city Is m France, and the passen gers who want to go to France can get out hero without any extra charge. Ami in order to accommodate those who wish to see the Exposition, a rail road has been constructed between this city and Paris over which the tourists can travel at their own expense. The next place to slop at is GENOA, which possesses especial attractions as the birth-place of C. Columbus, who discov ered America Just three centuries and three quarters ago. None of the Columbus family live in Genoa at the present time, but otherwise the city Is exactly where It was v\ hen you hr Columbus used to play tog and rounder in Its streets. The store where he used to buy marbles and peg tops when a school boy, Is an ob ject of veneration. HOME will be afterwards visited, and the tour ists may wander amid Us ruins and spec ulate in wonder and awe on the dilapida tion of things. There is the Coliseum, us the Romans used to call their Academy of Music. It is a largo building, but in a very bad state of repair, and no enterprising mana ger seems inclined to put it in order and open it for theatrical entertainments. Here-yon may see the spot where Ca*sar fell, which was one of the great falls of history, and is as much, talked about us the Falls of Niagara. The Pope lives here, and the visitors may call on him as if his Holiness has no objection to receive visitors. From Romo the steamer will steam to. Naples, which Is situated in a bay very picturesquely designed, with a volcano in the perspective to enhance the effect. To entertain the Americans , MOUNT VESUVIUS will get up a special eruption, presenting a magnificent pyrotechnic* spectacle, and supply the party with fresh lava enough to set them up in breast-pins for life, Thence the party will proceed to CONSTANTINOPLE, where real Turks may be seen lu large numbers. The Turks are a peculiar people. They wear very wide trqwsera and big beards, like Manager Hooley and Commodore Jones. They smoke long pipes and marry a great deal. The divorce laws In Turkey are very simple. When a Turk bos a wife, more than be wants he puts her in a bag with a fifty-six pound weight and drops her off a ferry boat into the Bosphorus. The Golden Horn is situated here, and the company can amuse themselves with Hates for 2tb»«t|sing. ADVEzmsEiCEirrs wiu be Inserted at Ten Cento per lino for the first ibsertlon. and five ivmti per Uno for each subsequent insertion, qnay. teriy, half-yearly, and yearly advertisements lu* sorted at a liberal redaction on the ibove rate* Advertisements should be accompanied by the Cash. When sent without any length of specified for publication, they will be continued until ordered out and charged accordingly. JOB PmNTINO. Gauds, Handbilia, Circulars, and every oth er description ol Jon and Card Printing exeouJ ted In the neatest style, at low prices. 54.—N0. 2. a game of “ Going Bound tho Horn.” A short distance from Constantinople is the Dardanelles, asheot of water classi cally known as THE HELLESPONT, across which Leander used to swim to see a young woman named Kero. He tried it once too often and was caught with the cramp in tho middle of tho stream and sunk to rise no more, and became a moist, unpleasant body. .As they were not married Kero had no claim as bis widow for tho life insurance money; and his estate went to bis heirs. Kero died some time after of blighted af fections. Byron afterwards swam the Hellespont to snow that one man could do it as well as auotber, aud Captain Duncan will, swim over to establish tho fact that the Yankee is not to be outdone by ancient Greeks or modern Britishers. After doing Turkey the party will pro ceed to Palestine ana do the Holy Land, the interest of which is fully explained in a book everybody ought to read, and not to give them an excuse for not referring to that authority for further particulars. I will now close my prospectus, which I won’t charge Captain Duncan anything for. If bo la anxious to return the obligation In some way, be can bring me home a relic of some kind, a piece of Pompey’s pillar, or one of Cleopatra’s needles for Mrs. O’Lanus. —BroQklyn Eagle, NETTLES FnOiU DEAN SWIFT. If a man will observe as he walks the streets X believe he will find the merriest faces in the mourning coaches. The reason why so few marriages are happy is because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages. We have just enough religion to make us hate and not enough to moke us love one auothor. * The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable; for the happy impute all their success to prudence and merit. Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is per formed in the same posture with creep ing. Small causes are sufficient Co make.a man uneasy, when great ones are not in the way; for want of a block lie will stum ble at a straw. Every mao desires to live long; but no maq would be-old. .Love of flattery, in most men, proceeds from the meanest, opinion they have of themselves; in women, from the con trary. Apollo was held the god of physio and sender of disease. Both were originally the same trade, and still continue. If a man makes me-keep my distance, the comiortis, he* keeps his at the sum? time. Men are content to be laughed at for* their wit, but not for their folly. A man would have but few spectators if he should oiler to show for three pence' how he could thrust a red-hot poker into a barrel of gun-powder and it should not. take Are. * How is it possible to expect that man kind will take advice, when they will not so much as take warning. The latter part of a wise man's life is taken up in curing the follies, prejudices and ful.-e opinions he had contracted in the former. Wouldn’t Give In.—An English cler gyman relates the following amusing anecdote: The most singular reply I over listen ed to was made to me last summer, upon the occasion of our school feast, by a car-, ter boy of about fourteen. Everybody hud exhibited a tolerable appetite, but this boy had eaten to repletion, so that when I saw him suddenly turn very pale, and attempt to rise from the table I began to fear he had made himself 111. “ What’s the matter, my good boy?” inquired I, while a sympathizing throng of philanthropic ladies, who had been ac ting as waiters upon thecompany, gather ed around tbe sufferer. Do you feel un well ? “My stomach aches, sir,” replied the boy with great distinctness. “Dear me,” said ! (almost suffocated with my endeavors to suppress laughter), “don’t you think you had better go home?” “ No, no, sir,” replied the lad with de termination. “It will ache a precious sight more afore I ha' done wP him.” And I am bound to say that he did not submit to tbe threatened dictation, but devoured two slices of cold puddingiu ad dition to his previous supplies, as well os au enormous bunch of bread and cheese. Don’t Drink to Drive Away Cake. —No man is safe who. has once formed the fatal habit of looking to drink for solace, or cheerfulness, or comfort. While the world goes well they will likely bo temperate, but the habit is built, the rail road to destruction is ready for use, the rails are laid down, and thestation house erected, and the train is on thellue waiting only for the locomotive. Well, the first great'trouble or hopeless grief is the loco motive; Jt comes to us and grapples us, and away we go in a moment, down the line we have been years constructing like a flash of lightning. jCSf* The New Britain Record tells the following “ good uu”: “A man (in that town! lost the key to a door in bis house, so taking tbe door ofi he put it into a wagon, drove to the lock smith and wanted a key fitted to the lock. When y|e person requested to fit the key went wagon with a screw-driver and coolly took the lock off the door, it is said that verdancy’s eyes opened with amazement, and he exclaimed, with a tone of wonder— 1 Oolly ! whq'd a thought of doing it that way ?’ ” When the State Constables called at a saloon at Westfield, Massachusetts, the other day, the proprietor slipped the chain from a largo black bear which he keeps, and retired to au ante-room to await results. The officers opened the door and the bear courteously advanced to give them a friendly embrace. The door was quickly shut again, and no sign of a constable has been seen around the place since. The Situation.— An old joke illus trates tills article. ** My friend,” said a seedy individual to an acquaintance at the ferry, “ I wish you would louu me a Suarter to cross the ferry ; I hain’t got a ollar in the world.” “ Well, I would like to know,” was the reply, “ whut dif ference it makes to a man whohosu’tgot a dollar in the world which side of. the river he's on?” I&y* An Irishman, speaking of the ex cellence of a telescope, said: “Do you see that small speck on yonderhlll? That is my bid pig, though it is hardJytobeseen, but when I look at him with my glass, It brings him.so near that I con plainly hear him grunt.” CS?* A would be bride In Dayton. Ohio, aged *6l, has sued a gentleman of 70 for breach of promise, She shows one of his lettersln which he said he “existedonly in her smiles, and that the happiest day of his life would be that on which he should call her his own.” US?" Rev. James Davidson Dyke, a “ loyal” clergyman of Indiana, who used to be extremgly harden ‘‘copperheads,” ' has been arrested fur horse-stealing, and the proof is strong against him. This don’t surprise us. Love, the toothache, smoke, a cough, aud a tight boot, are thlugs which cannot ' possibly be kept secret very long. Yours unfalteringly. Cobby O’Lanus.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers