BE SON —— RS a CLEVER SELLING —f can opener, a pan lifter and tack puller, all in one. husband to pull some tacks, while 1 lift the pans on the stove? Clerk—Very easy. All you have tc do Is to buy three—senything else? Good Hardware, The Reason A bored woman from London was walking in a friend's garden. Feeling she ought to say something, she re- marked : “These bluebells look just like holly- hocks.” “That's probably because they are wallflowers,” answered Tit-Bits. NO STUDENT “He's no student you say? *No—Just attends college.” Pride Before the Fall Pride lifts us up to realms above; Nor does the thought enthrall That when a fellow falls in love Pride goes before the fall Wasn't Ambitions “How high are we now?’ asked the timid cirplane passenger. “About four thousand feet,” sald the pilot. “I haven't started to climb yet.” “lI don't know whether I mentioned it before we started,” quavered the passenger, “but I'm not at all am- bitious.” “Have you a court yard?” “No, I do my courting indoors” Hard World The suto in the lowground The flying machine on high, On the way to heaven or hades, How can a world got by? Something & to Hope For One member of a fishing party was an Irishman who discgreed very badly with the sea. “It's all right, old man” other member of the party; not dead yet.” “True,” moaned the sufferer, “but sald an- “you're alive.” Perfect Patience Marion—Are they In love? Frances—They must be; she lis tens to his description of a ball game, i Tue Futone Inventor Of WAR MACHINES 34 SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT By F. A. WALKER THE POOR MILLIONAIRE MAN with the other day. He was far from wealth, and with all his riches from being happy. “My life was never destined to be quite hsppy. It was lald along lines I could not foresee. It left nothing to hope for, with nothing to strive for. handicap to happiness. It death to ambition.” If you read Plutarch’'s wri everybody should read them, wonld be Interested In Alexander the Great, of Phillp of Macedon. told of the great suc was having in a war, of fought many. “My father me nothing to do” Bat when he arrived at gan his own undertakings outstripphd his father's overshadow him the will he so accomplish That possibility rests In of every young man great wealth. But the men's sons are not who Alexanders are willl to spend earn. To distr To tear down But bute but not to collect. but not to bulld up. the son g to do, If he thing. struct. It Is a great advantage to the poor have an outlet for his ambi but to build, to create, to con tion. It is a splendid flelds thing that he has the exercise It Is greatly to his bene- has to struggle to get on. that you do not exercise hecome useless, An imagination that Isn't working, dies of Inactivity, ‘he poor boy sand for Muscles can imagine a thon things that the rich boy will about. His view nding wealth. The poor boy can work, and work is the greatest blessing in this life, No man Intent on his work, Interested in the resnits, is ever long mnhappy. If you have health, ambition and persistence you have all that Is neces. i i i she says Gencrivns a new dress. \ ” 4 In a Leipzig theater is a notice: theater.” Underneath this someone has writ- ten: “8S. P. C. A."—Munich Simpils- simus, “Henry.” “Yes, dear.” “Get up from that hammock. This fs a holiday and I want you to go out and have a good time.” The Ship Rail Habit “Sue Slibersheet goes to Europe frequently, doesn’t she?” “Does she! She's returned so often that every time she sees a banister she erawls up on it and begins to look around for the photographer,” New Orleans Times-Plcayune. A Fast Pace Wife-—George, dear, are there any fashions In that paper? Oeorge—Yes, but they're out of date—it's the morning paper. ————— ——— i ever attained. Never mind about the money. That will come In due time. (@® by MeC lure Newspaper Hyndicate) mmmilll fine GRLIGAG? | (cormionT) “When a fellow tells me I am get- ting more beautiful,” says Cynical Sue, “1 wonder if he means I am getting thick-skinned.” wisi Ban on Fortune Telling Under strict orders from Signor Mussolinl fortune tellers and fortune telling cards heave been banned HE YOUNG LADY ACROSS THE WAY The young neross the the scientists lady have WHY BAYS discovered dino 10,000. (00) years ago the dino and she wonders how creature compared with the saur of the present day (® by MeClure Newspaper Syrodicale) HERE are no secrets hetween my wife and me,” boasted the House Detective. “That's tough, Kelly,” the Hotel Stenographer. mighty tough on somebedy. “Either you are not very nice peo ple or you never have any fun in your lives. If yon were both so slow that you never did anything before you you ®lid not want to tell, you certainly must have led a mighty bum existence. No kisses in the back of a taxi, no sly hug on a straw ride, ne holding of hands In the ‘movies,’ must have been a mighty stale life. “If you both did all the things which normal humans do and told each other all about it after you got married, you were a mighty poor pair of sports, and it was tough on the people with whom you did these things. “When 1 get married, Kelly, 1 shall either keep my mouth shut to my man about what I did before 1 met him or else lie to him like a lady. It can't be any fun for a man who loves a woman to hear the detalls of the other man who kissed his wife before he came on the scene, So If he is fool enough to Insist on her telling him. there is only one thing for her to do as a good and dutiful wife who wants to make her husband happy, and that Is to do what you and your wife did, lle to each other, “Even so, Kelly, it Is hard for a woman to tell a man she never had a sweetheart till answered “That's he alone kept her from being an old till some time when yoti get mad at him and then tell him the truth just to take him down a peg like your wife will do to you some day.” (®. by the MeNaught Syndieabs, Ine) Pissing Watermelon Is African The watermelon ls a native of Af rica. It was early taken to India, as seems indicated by its having a San. skrit name. It reached China about the Tenth century A. D. It has no name in the ancient Greek and Latin ianguages and was probably not known to these peoples much before the Christian era, Wanted: —A Freckled Boy By DOUGLAS MALLOCH ERHAPS it's my But where gone? mind freckles mistaken have all the who has freckles on. nose A youngster you sometimes see a I suppose, I mean Is freckles here, n to brow, and ear to ear. seven, But what Now, what 1s (as 13 often sald) Worth doing is worth doing well! And freckles should be freely spread Around the face, I'm heré to tell, If you possess a freckled face, Then it faeckled ev'ry place, So not a soul can doubt a lot If it's a freckled face or not. hay e There never was a freckled lad That other people didn't like, Another thing: he always had A name like Jimmy, Bill or Mike, You never saw an Algernon With very many frecl Or someone freckled who A Percival or Archibald cles on, was called t branch, 1 kid But somehow, You always The He said A freckl on the topmos found the on the he'd ride, did. could climb And run freckled fun And catch more sunfish from a dock the cherubs in the block. freckled roughest pony ranch and ride he ed boy know (perhaps you do,) The sort of youngster that 1 meant, bank, a rallroad, Both looking for a president, Of course, if Freckles they employ, They'll start him in as office boy. But he'll be president in time- For freckled kids can always climb, (& by Mol leate) too, sewspaper Bynd er JN WSE—— HS Cook Bos Book Cerri When we look into of the futur nd see for each of to do, we realize, all, what a beaut work and live and be son. the long avenu wd there In after iful thing it is t happy. —Bleven- the Ki CABBAGE WAYS gions ABBAGE, like onions, is not fa- because of its odor when but it is a wh vege. both raw and co vored cooked, olesome table oked and con neral salts needed | the biood Tt naln reason we tire of different 2 at they are the same Ways and a little common vege ve ss is th frequently in of serving served so If =» change more ing cooking. these care in tables would be more welcome, cooked wit served ina white sauce Is a very wood way. Cabbage h one onion and Swedish Cabbage. Poll In dozen salted water for XA good - sized fresh Drain them and fil ng mixture: A pound of chopped fin egg. fuls of cream, one-half teaspoonful white pepper, one e, one two tab! lespDoon teaspoonful of salt, one of chopped parsieg Rub the with the cut side of-a clove of garlic Mix thoroughly and leaf around a tablespoon uf af the mixture; trim the ends neatly and tie or skew er. Lay in a dripping pan with a pint of stock or butter and water. Baste frequently, and bake for half an hour, or until Remove the rolls, thicken with the gravy and pour over the cabbage. dish roll. each tender Stuffed Catthage. Remove the stalk from a hard head of cabbage, tie in a cloth and cook un- Scoop out a cavity from the stem-end and fill with a stuffing of and butter. Bake in a hot oven until the cabbage Is brown, Hot Slaw. Shred a head of cabbage and pour over the lowing dressing: Beat two egr yolks, add two tablegpoonfuls of water, a disk of salt a tablespoonful of butter, and a cupful of mild vinegar. Cook this dressing over hot water and pour over the shredded cabbage while hot. Heat the cabbage and serve hot, German Cabbage. cold water, of sugar and cook five minutes. Escalioped Cabbage. white sauce In a baking dish and sprinkle each with a light layer of snappy cheese. Bake until the but tered crumbs covering the top are brown, then serve at once. (@ 1028, Wettarn NeWupnpye Union.) ——— Standard of Manhood Man comes to himself only when he has found the best that Is in him and has satisfied his heart with the high est achievement of which he is capa ble. That alone to him is the real moasure of himself, the real standard of his manhood.—Qrit. “DANDELION BUTTER COLOR” color Drug butter Years, well ~-Adv, A harmless vegetable used by millions for 50 gtores and general stores of “Dandelion” for 85 cents. Watt’s Figure Too Low! James Watt, said that six pounds per wis the maximum safe boilers, That before he 1810, Today the average In the that run most electric generating sta tions where a klowatt-hour of current 1¥roduced for each 114 pounds of but eng xperimenting “discoverer” square inch pressure wns 450 pounds great steam boilers coal, neers mre i m running up to 3,200 pounds times with stea more than H00 IHmit set by Watt, the pressure applied at night upen strengthen eycs Adv, Roman Eye Balsam, retiring, will freshen and oy morning. 372 Pearl Bt, N. Y, ———— Natural Mistake Mayhelle—Here's a photograph that sent by radlo, It's a picture Of myself, Glenda state, was Oh, 1 thought It was Today's Big Offer to Al Who Have Stomach Agony Read About This Genetgus Money Back Guarantee When you have any trouble with your stomach such as gas, heaviness and distention, why fool with things which at best can only give relief. Why not get a medicine that wil build up your upset, disordered stom- ach and make it so "strong and vigor ous that it will do its work without | any help. Such a medicine is Dare's Mentha Pepsin, a delightful elixir that is sold by your local dealer and druggists everywhere with the distinct under standing that if it doesn’t greatly help you your money will be gladly returned. It has helped thousands—it will no doubt help you. Good Artificial Milk DEMAND “BAYER” ASPIRIN Take Tablets Without Fear If You See the Safety “Bayer Cross.” Unless you see the name ige or on tab Warnin Wg! “Bayer” on packs are not getting Aspirin proved sa presc pi Say “Bayer” Imitations #8 You the ger » Bayer ons and shysiclans for ribed by when you buy Aspirin, ay prove dangerous.~—Adv. Rare Bird Specimens Despite all th arch made interest gmnong and other countries the irfous museums A Lady of Distinction Ig recognized by the delicate, fascinat- ing influence of the perfume she uses, A bath with Cuticura Soap and hot water to thoroughty cleanse the pores followed by a dusting with Caticuora Taleum powder usually means a clear, sweet, healthy skin —Advertisement. Those Dear Girls Madge-—Are going to the poor fellow’s ring? Marie (who has just broken her en- gagement)-I haven't decided, 1 sup- pose he'll propose to you now, thought I'd just hand it to save the bother, you Everybody wants to hosts somebody and there Is always somebody who wants to boss everybody. i WOMEN, BE WELL! “While bringing up my family 1 de- veloped a x rundown and weak- ened state of health, 1 could scarcely do my housework. [| doctored but did not seem to gain in health until 1 took Dr. Pierce's Favor- ite Prescription. I y found that it not only strengthend me but it relieved me of backaches and other pains. 1 have been in such good that 1 have no hesi- tancy in recommnding Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription.” Mrs. Wm Pope, 248 Walnut St, Trenton, N. J. Liquid or tablets. Send 10c to Dr. Pierce's in Buffalo, N. Y., for trial pkg tablets and write for free advice. health ever since Have a lovely (omplexion You ean make and keep your complex fon as lovely as a young girl's by giving a little attention to your blood. Remember, 8 good complexion lsn’'t skin deep — it's health deep. Physicians agree that sulphur is one of the most effective blood purifiers known to science. Hancock Sulphur Compound is an oid, reliable, scientific remedy. that purges the blood of impurities. Taken internally — a few drops in a glass of water, it gets at the root of the trouble, As a lotion, it soothes and heals, 6c and $1.20 the bottle at your drug- giat's. If be can’t supply you, send his name and the prices in stamps and we will send you a bottle direct, Haxcock Liquid SurLrsvr COMPANY Baltimore, Maryland Banocock Swiphwr Compound Owmtment — 808 and 60¢ — for ues with Hancock Sulphur Compound Good Indication Alice likes me?” folks are you 2 1 thins knocking SAAC { Loosen Up That Cold With Musterole Have Musterole handy when a cold starts. It has all of the ad ivantages of grandmother's mustard plaster without the burn. You feel a warm tingle as the healing ointment penetrates the pores, then a soothing, cooling sensation quick relief {. Made of pure oil of mustard and other simple ingredients, Musterole is recommended by many nurses doctors. Try Musterole for bronchitis, sore throat, suff neck, pleurisy, rheu- matism, lumbago, croup, asthma, neu- ralgia, congestion, pains and aches of the back or Joints, sore muscles, sprains, bruises, chilblains, frosted feet, colds of the chest. It may prevent pneumonia and “flu.” Tr If there is any r pig mn a man’s na- ture it Is sure to crop out when be travels, The happine gs of the wicked passes away like* a torrent.—Racine. MOTHER Fletcller” s "Castoria is especially pre- pared to relieve Infants in arms and Children all ages of
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers