MARJORY. Margaret is prim and wise, Y i Madge Is fair to see; Marjory has laughing eyes, Marjory for me! , Margaret doth naught amiss, / « Madge ie fancy free; f Marjory is sweet to kiss, — Marjory for mol Margaret’ demure and cold, Mudge must formal be: Yet, Marjory for me! ~Albert Lee, in Harper's Weekly, - % A POSTHISTRESS PRO TE, ta By Hall, I will introduce myself as Mr. Frank Wheaton, one of the younger members of the St. Paul bar, and at the period of these events vigittag in New York, To be as brief in explanation as pos sible, my friends had concluded that it was high thme for me to be married. My protestations were overruled, and altheugh my heart had never expert enced the gentle passion for any par- ticular girl, 1 eventually picked ome out from the number of my fair ac- quaiatances, amd decided to offer my- sed to her. Miss Violet of New York, was as good as beantiful, and was an heiress besides I armamged with my part vacation, and proceeded to and offered myself, one fine June day, to the young lady, in person. Viplet received my proposition with as much dignity as I made it, assured 1 ! esteem, told would cons with her parents and give me an swer on the next day. As b bad the pleasure of meeting ther cr mother, 1 left tograph of f with my autograph Tom Pierson, she was n er for a short New York me she my sed on 1 Kk, that manner judge of had been pleading I ¢0ould have n But I have always owl Wis 50 embarressed Ie ba they mig! * CRUsSe it “Exhibit boon careless of interesis, and interview that I business acuteness After home, | own to several Jack Demmett, At tempted i ar swung arovp®! what Dead Man's Curve Then | Hospital, over my “Not a word" ingly. “You You had brain, but co of that “I mus pered “Dr 0 leay ir procee nee, years, 10 awoke witl bed. JL tively. have been and since wond With scribe t next three Cl;ne ey ever now." at LL town in quiet life, absolute care of ti of fils 3 "yr the Cure. rest It was ed by a friend beepy threatened sured Jack ths possibly fined anything in that ing. Hence it me, So off a suit cloth robe (mine ha cident), and tions, I were exact not troubled himself trunk good-by to the §] seventy-five de hands, a ticket my hat, and a long flat | } done in brown wrapping pager onto the beside me. He told me to write to him for more money fiv was exhausted, and me promise to look at the contents of the package four times daily-—before each meal amd on going to bed. Jack said # was his prescription. Py the way, Jack was always peculiar, That might I slept under the hospi- tal roof of a cleanly o.d widow, a Mrs. White, In the little town of Lv, I] had been enjoined to stay there at least | Six weeks, #0 I pald ber in advance my board aml washing for that time. This left me about $6 in cash, most of which I lal out in cheap novels, to- bacco, pipes, writing materials and stamps. And I adoifaexd my room with the comtents of the brown paper cov. | ered parcel. It proved to be a framed motto, and the mandate on #t was “Don’t Worry.” : I spent the first few days of my stay | In writing letters—the first amd longest | of which, you may be sure, was to Miss Violet Pierson, explahing at length | the reabom for my failure to call upon | her again, and my present condition, | And I begged her, of course, to let me | know my fate at once by mail. In| spite of Jack's motto 1 was already be. | giming to worry. On the third day | of my stay I wot to the Hide village | post office and asked for letters for | Mr. Frank Wheaton. I expected to find | in the village postmaster the usual | senile old man so common in such places, But framed iu the little arched | window of that country post office was | the wead of a venus worthy the hapa | and brush of a Titan. My embarrass. ment mn the presence of Miss Violet Plerson was absolutely insigidficant compared with my trepidation tn the TOWn exo 1 1 y Ca in # of ward the from mates for supj.ies up “eat when the sevonaty © made presence of this auburn haired, reece. choeked, star eyed postmbstress, In go wond, I was smit*en at first eligi. to worry about, too” “Have you anything by Kentify vourwelf?' sald the pretty postimistress, with a smile that dis- dosed two rows of pearly teeth, “Will old letters do? 1 ased, faMor ingly. . “I guess so,” she replied. “But I'm | not very well informed, and I have to | be careful. You I'm only Post | mistress pro tem, This Is the way | i spend my vacation. It's fun for a city | girl, you know, and It gives my uncle, | the real Postinaster, a chance to go up fa the woods and rest.” | “Of course, you utust be careful.” | sald I, endeavoring to conceal my em- barrassment behind a patronizing air. “My mall Is of the greatest import ance, Bu. coose will satisfy you as to my ldenthy.” Whh this 1 drew from the inner pocket of my coat a bunch okl leetters and handed them to She glanced at them at first curiously. Tha she frowned and drew the them and read them hurriedly, Finally she spoke, “1 believe you asked for mall for Mr. Frank Wheaton 7’ said she “I thought her tone a trifle But I answered: “1 did.” “Then I am afraid vou homest as you look, Mr. John net,” abe regs led accent we t in A manter peculiar to or The situation nearly 1 away. had left ! was wearing h wireh to Ree, letters of her several of conteats from BEVere, not as ens are omme J wWoinel, pr ig) wok breath my Jack sgine old letters is pocket. 1 ® coat, I y Mentitied ny had another person. fills 1 unfortunate tréed to explain, weakly a “This Is Oat belonging and did not know in the pocket, “Wearin gE another mused “Goodness, | I got “1 suspected y nan wir pays weeks in advance ough Honest me i don’t though: 1 myself under the protection | He next and you just try any eof your nefarious practices on me, if 3 dare. You can stay until your ward money is worked out, unless they take you to Jail in the meanwhile, which 1 trust and pray they will. But yon can’t stay | with me one minnie after your six | weeks is up, even if they don't.” shall put of the constable. lives door, ou here I want from her irate presence to my own room, and threw a hair brush at Jack's motto. It missed. Then I sought the telegraph office, and wrote | out a telegram to Jack. | “That don’t go tlmough tide office.” “You're | selling that telegram to yourself and | It's against the rules to use the wires | for criminal operations. O, we're ato I bit my lip and crosses] the strect to the cigar store. When I am in a predicament and studying my way out I like to chew an unlit cigar. The pro- prietor refused to sell me one. “Money's too searce in this region to take any risk «1 counterfeits, 1 Rp pose you've stuck me already, but if you have I'll ave the law of you” ii left him and sought the Postmistress | Po tem owe more. But learned that rire had gone out walking, There was but one mail a day, and the post office closed at 2 P. M. 1 went to my room after that. and spent the rest of the day swearing at Jack's motto, During the following week matters went from bad to worse, 1 lpft the Louse but once a day. The fact Iu I | the post office onc. each day to es, ae | tidate with the Postindstress pro toms When 1 did go grown people shsoroed me and little girls mn crying to there mothers, The sisal 2oys of the town, bowever, followed me around to a fdrove, Bart | went, nevertheless The fact is, I had grown rather fona of ex- postulating with the pretty Pobtmds tress. Shall I say that I had also grown rather fond the Postimdstress hor- self? Well, perhaps more than fond, But was a man ever so handicapped in Ms courting? She still insisted on me Mr. Dennett, | though, that another letter had arrived for Mr. Wheaton, addressed in the same feminine band, and many mero in business envelopes, But not woukl she deliver wo me, Disgusted at the absurd shuation in wivoh | was placeq, and at my own upnavalg forts to extricate myself fwom it, | one afternoon to vary the of my dsagree- able vation by a walk in the womis, The course of my wanderings led to the foul of a gnarled okl tree whose huge lhabs were but six or eight feo the ground, | down at its agape! it, and began matter over, | time to myself when I am of lemirnedd, one reso) vid lnonotony ne from “at Dase, studying 1 habit of alone, “Hee 1 money get possible chamee of gett I renoice to send 4 i reclining he have talking 10 uses] “without home, and no ing suy uldess naw and tell inoney, using the Jack Dennett. But do 1 want No, while that Postrdet ross I am, and 1 © A am,” 1] enough to vive Feel ¥ ri i Ud HS Rd nse . home? nnt au retains no idea Ming I want lerson ? aired Tore Tie ve Test bay I wpted by "rut But ’ Miss Vidlet I " assursliy not, le Post rriist vases Now, igexd 3 Thor “w IE Oe or contained nothing but Wheaton, RI FTauR of Baring, Al sho “And an ful lot of trouble I've got You into, the of your letters, 1} hope you will not report poor dear Un Ned” “You overheard what | said when 1 was talking to, myself 7" 1 asked. “Yes, 1 couldn't help it,” she swered, “Well, do yon suppose | would de your uncle apiy harm under—uandet those circumstances?’ She did not re py for a few moments. Then shi Frances replied, what reset oe am Perbape you are engaged to her” “look!” mafd 1. 1 took the bundle ter. When | found it I held # up bes nnopenad, into sinall pieces, and “Are you satisfied now?’ | asked her, I am not going to say what her re But I'm glad 1 didn’t smash Jack's motto, It bangs in our parior today. Truth, Royalty Uses the Telephone. Telephonic communications have been recently laid between Balmoral amd London, a. private wire having been run from the castle to the Gove ernment trunk eable which connects Aberdeen with London. Queen Vie torin i= aleo having a telephone placed vonnecting her with the varios Scot tich sents ar present ocenpied by the various members of the royal family. The railways of the world earry oves 40,000,000 passengers weekly. NOTES AND COMMENTS, It is learned that there are eight mill fon plane players In the United States, and they ean elect any man President that they may unite on, This In rible, ter Any one who has occasion to along New York streets cannot but he impressed with the improvement in the looks the personnel of the force, Many new faces of and apparently intelligent are to be noticed on the foree, of police Younger mare men Children cannot be dealt with on the principle that their nominal ! cessarily registers a real maturity of ge He ag power. Bome children are wiser at six than others are at sixteen. The discreet mother will ask how much rather than how her ehild ust her educational efforts accordingly i) long has lived, and ad Searcely | I 5 in wheelless a 18 the shiown ff a ge appear on the horizon of world An wlustrial Olneyville, R, 1, I» engaged he wa Joss age if signs I the distance, than the 1 inventor in lage, It is runners oping a wheelless ear rin oy dectricl On Wii operate on ecventrics, causing them “ereepers,” dese rapidly becoming a in from the Orient. fo a wit Siw “Germany,” says the 84 James gette, had five sovereigns Queen Victoria began reign. herself will in foture be recognized as the ancestress of one of the most pow. erful rulers. Her grandson wears the iron crown of Germany, Her daughter ik empress of Russia. other granddaughter is crown cess of Roumania., Her second “has fo grand An Prin “0 The hereditary princess of Saxe The burg, Meiningen is her granddaughter, grandson, tween them promise to be at the Hida of more than half of Europe.” Spanish authorities have ardered strict watch to be kept along French frontier of Spain, In order to Spaniards who take refuge in France to escape being sent to Cuba. Al the trains that cross the frontier are visi ed, and every young man submitted to a rigorous examination, and obliged to furnish papers establishing his iden. the frontier line to prevent desertion from other parts: but notwithstanding these efforts a large number succeed daily in effecting their escape. Many of these deserters assert that were all their companions subjected to a like duty, they would willingly take thelr chance with the rest. But as their richer comrades ean escape the Cuban smpaign by paying 1500 “rancs ($300) for a substitute, they see no reason why “hey should be sent to death, while { others, blessed with a larger share of | this world's goods, remain happily at { home, Whatever the reason, the num- ber oo desertions Is dally on the im Crease, “The interest in the construction of highways which characterizes our time,” says Professor Shaler, of Har vard University, “is In part due the invention of the bicycle, The wheel carriage propelled hy foot power is a relatively oid contrivance, but unti the lust quarter of a 1a- chine adhered to the type of the four-wheeled vehicle, It) required the hardy spirit of our the to lead the in ti might ride on two wheels Lond i to century the old Oo veutor wo 1 conjecture that a In Importance the bieyele deserves to next t ite s 0 the railway and the telegr among the inventions of our waning cen tury. The number of w by many t who employ use of these vehicles, the hich is now to be reckoned affords to constant object condition an is have in eive how apparently slight differences in greatly which housands, those th Caen BONS us to the of our Whe horse he drawn a keen order to WHys, re a1 Is to ex pathy with beast per- the md way of condition of the rr ary amount B put ux however, his own thews nin a heavy * ¥ lasted for sttbeided ne ship was leak it a bad leak, the water and would creeping very slowly up the hold, dinary circumstances under os ed Dad have Ziven muck trouble But the Irmgard had a cargo of sugar aboard and leakage meant big loss un- less 1 was promptly checked, Ro the pity were riggtd, and eve ry two | Bours a detail of men was sof to work for fifteen or twenty minutes to keep the water down. This course was pare sued for the entire long voyage, When the Irmgard was unloaded in port a search was made find the [cause of the leak. A sailor ran across the cause in the bottom of the bold It was an inch of swordfish sword pro- truding from the bottom, Examination showed that the sword, | driven with tremendous force, had pen- | etrated five Inches of planking and | eight inches of lining. It was broken {off two inches below the outer sheath of = to | log, so that =ixteen Inches of sword { came bome with the ship. The monster, erted tremendous foroe to free himself from the grip of the oak, for he bad worked a sufficient hole around the im. prisoned sword to permit of a consid: erable leakage. Three or four planks had to be re. moved before the sword and its sur rounding wood could be ont out. The specimen was then sent to the city museum. New York Hemald, Recent discus on *a the duration of sunshine in European countries has evoked the information that Spain heads the list with 3.000 hours a year: Italy bas 2300 hours, Germany 1,700 | | THE JOKERS BUDGET, JESTS ANL' YARNS BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS, ———— Marine tem...And the Curtain Fallg.in Doubt...Learned from Experieneg-A New Theory---Suitable, MARINE ITEM ™ y 4 4 The girl glood on the buraing deck, sut her loss we need not Irie ve Fhe did not perish with the wree she had sense enough to leave. AND THE CURTAIN " As the these words she dro ‘The baby had sp FALIA, “It's all over. woman uttered a E BOOT, She go abroad on mnarriea ? vir gir Do you intend tn your wedd { He do, if 1 y hit it ©n you get y i gus narry the ri i LEARNED ¥i Teddy OM EXPERIENCE. I tell vou it's s Sedlie I say it is Teddy — Well, mamma says it's i ; | if mamma says it's i I 80, ils 80 e% fei’ t ish L 80. NEW THEORY. why have all the pictures Hat the uriist paint of op nling, -What dress me Lo wear 10 the Husband I have wenlher A id Mrs paper “An has married them ali t UNDERSTOOD, ry vig ht mats ‘Welcon Why so? “lam s« one of those door. wilh iE on il. “Some stupid fellow mistook the mean. i] of the word and helped himself to it #1 nigot’ SPROIALTY is win calls on you so aske | tise impertinent inventor leed! What has be invented “Oh, ever so many things.” ‘ “Any of them practical » “Yes,” was the answer, with some bes. tation, ‘*he has had a good deal of sue. cess in invenling reasons why [should lend him saything from 50 cents to 85." CIRCULARLY SPRARING. “You remember Kadgers gave a bean. tiful solitaire diamond to Miss Thinlips when they became engaged?” “Well “Well, that was one ring. When they were married they made their wedding trip on a tandem. That was touring. Now they are settled down and she's a vizen. And they have a three ring circus every day.” A BOHEME THAT FAILED, “Good gracious |” he cried, *'was that a rooster 1 heard crowing then ¥° “Yes,” she said, ‘‘but don't hurry away. The people around bere won't be up for an hour ver Next day he learned that ber father had an educated roomer that crowed every night at half-past ten, and, of course, the match is off. A FORRIBIE DEAT. She handed him his eveaing clothes. The bad been packed away all sumnier with a moth exterminating substance. As the odor of tar and camphor assailed am, his face grew ead, “What is troubling you > “1 was thinking of these ‘othes.” “It seems to me that you aught to lok pleased. There certainly are no moths in tem. ol = “«f can’t help my sympathetic nature. be responded. Sometimes ometimos it leads me to an absurd extremes. Of course, I'm glad that the moths are gone, bul’ —and’ he sighed deeply '4t must have been n horrible death. . ~The Parisians name the pawnbroker “aunt.” #
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers