i 'i A.fl vi-tiinj Unit k. l. I ni li.-hi'l Weekly at . jlf isr.t nr., r i.vdBi.i ror.vrr, ivi.. TrelarveanH ss-P.M,. r!rPO s,.lc--,:..,r, ol -1rr.,.r,. - .,..;'W,V -I ei f l- uv J on :. I? ss. i o fa ror iu'i'i-!nr a ra'en : 1 Tier. T!ae. month. V.V.V.""' a m on ths. ...... 1 ye.r "J".!". r n.orih ......... 1 year G ln-intha as 1 t 93 Id. i"M . .. a no t 10 nJ .. .00 rsce ilne : esurh ,liir erf Virru'ntion, 1,'ifHt 1 .V) Tltl.. 1 ; '.'In. J fQ ; .vnr.. 2.-J5 1 r ,. lit. H fiil't t tttonih,.... S " ftn.rth. '.. - 1 year 6monl-. " lyear I'-IIIIl"!! Item.. fr?t !ner:l..n !e. per n. rt : l'.'i.. ! .bnjr . l -r yt til Lie nf tho cmis-. X i ' ' T ' J. e " If J I i ; I- ti 1 : r w II he fi;ir- in it IP the ..K .v frn" .(. ,!e- those who don ? consult their in Jvij-. , ex- ' ; ' a" I II If I t 'ii.w who : -.i-T-. j--tj ui.u. .(.,t :r..m 1 1 . t I. 1 . ri- y..u . toj. ; t . i' sr.ip f : too .-thert. tr..in. and : l.i. i .. . - .- ... . . i.,"u . ie r line. A. In ini-rat.T ml Kxecutor'f Notice. .. A n.li'i.r'ii Not Ice. Stt.t an.l ptmilar Notice. -m- l. , ." JAS. C. ' A3SON, Editor nnd Pjbilshar. t SO 1.0 MK i , ifKiCKIAN WHOM THI TKtJTH HAKES FHKC, AND ALL ARB SLAV KB BK8IDK. SI.50 and postage per year, in advamo " ft prwwsiff. nr tKviarff.;i, or .or,, 'i.end , . ,.. a, ,un,4 .,, .fr VOIXMF, XIX. .. . ,y j....r or r,,ir,j er i4iet a.if hr 7-ai (or rft-erfuie-ne,.f .'a I'tisriMi ot all aln.i. ti."."t lua i inr, r.tt KI.KNSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, JULY 24, 165. NUMBER 24. eutly executed at Scwe.t price.. I.otriy.u Uret aci ej tn-dlt- ill tfiMi' ircttitff 0 AN, as, . - -tfT-. - i?z(. 4 -j i -a for Infants and Children. T..tT!:a.oircna4.-Ftocfcndmnthot I CastoHa ewa PoKc. CorjIpa?!on. If - r.:::.r::.i it ajs-.'Frior lo.my prvscxiptioil I P"ur PtonuK-h, Piarrhcea, Kru-tAiitn, I tacniV.-r-c." H. A. Jnora. M. D., I Kills Wrma, jivts sicep, and promote Cls- 111 Sc. OicM Et.. Lrockira, 5. T. WltCurtoua tt'loatloT. Tm Csxtaub Copaxt, li Fulton fltrwt, IT. T. fCAN fhe BEST in the World 1 1 ir r. nr Jlesr. Vi bite IT dnTOtrd their lire I th- !n'y of dnelopisir ths EskI Or,tB, tfa liorfcat In; ciaaaraclared Ortaan for So ) tri. 'OSIT3VE IURABLI 1 and will not got out of Repair or Tune i .v JM.VK YEARS. .Ejr;r.gan ORGAN don't bo led Into pnrrhaslo? OBC thni contains a great AURA Y Of STOPS and i SW EEEI3 but tvrite o a RELIABLE DEALER or 2f nmiruot irr f'jrn'h yon at eTcn money a Jtrtt-clats i iiAM. fT.-"" Stops cost but a faw cents each Write f r O'jr CATALOGUE and diagram v.-i:B construction of tha INTERIOR of 'WANS, SF.HT FREE TO ALL, nd " 3ENT S DISCOUNT3 allowed whert wi fe co Aeent. Vilcox White Organ Co. MERIDEN, CONN. -r - - . r-,r, I,.-f. t . U i r :.y . r.. (nit fr.i.a . )? jtit.i: von', o c ' r-'-i r-.. At-.; t . r r! jr-t" n- . . i . .-:! M f T thr t ; cur i - iTr.il I c :. r.-'i; l.rn iirportar.l ' 1. ,'.rc k.-jt Uriu 'Tit r.pwner. Tk ft I i.r In: fiv l. -t it . i ; lif Hcr wilii u n - i ;. t :i' (, , c-i j DECAY, l; l ! 1 ' I'V :- r'lcsti'in fe--v-.r t' i; i-.cr of f.t i: '..tf. r.t a'y. The llU i- I t . ""rrf thf hu ts 1. ir.an r r-i:Tiiam la rr artortd. t l.i. .... V, ti 5.AIff tr, v r.; h have her 3 igT; ; 1 "I rjpi'l vye:-,f t,. fi Or. - Til-.t -h, - $j IV- 3 ! nv.n. - C r 4"lr9 Jo'itiii. 7.i. REf irsy co.. M'rQCKiwisra j w n. h -.t.. r.T. r5ou. 120. 11! PTUED FEF?30N.S! Not a Truss. " f rt ..-"lU.fo'irArplirjicfl. r-CT GOOD NEWS iiTd 12 LADIES LiT Sv Greatest inducements ,rer of- fere.1. Now', jour tirca to sjtcp ce!rf.r ocx celebrated Teui aiMi i'oft eet.and wean a besuti ful C'ml.l Bind otMom IVe China -r-i i-y. 'I - Seu er (iandMTne Decemted ' r-.-.d M. Ro I':T.n-e S-l nrlln Rnd M. '! f , t S-. Krr f -!! partloTilars ddr8a TiiK t;r:EAT AMKHIf a te co, F. o. box iu. il od J( V ee Bt.. Wew York. fT 1 ' r l-.'-.i'.r i. t-iT" ,t. xt.d it is jt L k aV w i .' i,-ii. k I.I.I. ' i'lnii ;: ,t n.i nio, -1:1. 1 "... .V . S.lt u:ii-d mi ln- : . 1 1 ar- .i.lliM:. It i-.-.t t h f1MM, aVJI i I - .-.. f.-m tr.c LI.--!. : . 2- ve. 1 it rf i trial -.: arij J"tir-TAni)r.flT '..Jf t- r""M'iy, t 1 '.- . P-eeM il-.ii'.., ; r-.r..pt of J. ;I to i it Ly x- ,;- pi r, 't-r. f. r it - . i i i.rfl. Smri r f.-r k rr.-ir diTfrrt fnr r -v. r.p- m itti ( nm ;4 -'.mi- nn1 f f atuhi-ntra - -'sit'" tlCi-f ItlakOfl 111. ollTr In !rnt"i-l !- t i iN wf't, F. Kk.,! r.n A : ai-itr .li-'vsT'ii, I 'H,f- H, Vlli A CO., 1'uilaVl . PV )ork Shavings Trs x'- IT ! Mil ! . MM.M i awa,! fOtx MATTFlfSSE tim ti.hirnc the n'lins in mat o w i M ric mmend CORK SIIAV 'n 'he cbenpe-t (in(j mo,t durable u,e.. 4(1 Ir.,. win fill a lre - r AKMSTitoira mtoTitKR "-r Wfi rf Jimllrond Street: , i v t f. i-t.-i 7. May ;,-St. 'ftLESHEH WANTED. tODYL'"n maki Pbo 11 tipuiapns :v new ' dry plate procps 1 (ti 'a., will end post pe.iil UoChe'8 r ,r A f: - 11 rn, which civ' full in- r"r nia!c!'z ti e pic'iirr-. " i- fnrni-li fnn. $10 iipwttiris. rnn rot;i:Ai'iiK; pum.etiv." I "f. ' has. K. Chanuleis. lurnl '' "'.al . pai In,, nt of t!i;. .Sei.iK.1 ' I ii ntiU puliiiihed twice T Oil U- . I.I. I... ! pf r aiimiiii, ke rn Pln iiinal mualHur. fullv 1 ; intj rnvi rt i nt, and mnwrrs all " " v '" ti iLm-uItic" -tite. " uti.-e fr.e y- . r. wi iio.m a ri.. " lhoforahle A pp., an4 jiiterial., "'l m:oi)v.Y, N1H i'dKK t'lTY. - V- -,.'e. e -. ' ata.ri,. v Il T ' ... i: -. ,, . nenl' r. f. ".1 r w i ij . e: 3 N i Tnrnrtt, '. hct, tail f he-a rUx li"fj3 ... vinw i.iaui.-.n'l( tail' .!(.r.,l!1.-,t 13 19 not in. i ', il 1 wpirr'.y attctiJeJ to. 32 ! - nf it l l.nt a ui,t ir-if.. t Cr3 tinn of tlio in. :nh. v. hi. h eon-rj the Luujrr - then :m irtltniM u, w hen tlia cou-h rather 2 p .Iry, Iji .ili ".Jin r:,Iv, mora frejucut.tha O chotks llili-dai.dc!til!-inoreton!inon. Thta r:i;r :,.;..,. .-. , ... 23 ... ... v . , ,,Ji5 . w. L, . , c. Tipiaiiin, orer- Rie to ;i t.j r. ia .ve i l inni-hl.I lrrin. r ltlonfnl ita.,p'l.,. i "1 r.-S t,. ti.u .,. ... .... ... . " D , ijii.tjr ep.ii iuom lion. ti.o .y-ti i,i. It la ilitati-a eipctoratlon. It h;i'.3 tie ulcerated siuTacas li. . tlio cr.iu.-h and muky, tl. 1 r -jtn-- v. Jt a ipr-jrlilh, tr,ui;ih and at thr tino r..u-vj tli fertir. It is tr o I: um -j ,7..... ; ... . ' ; ' , ' " "'SI l.teatrntine f... :V.,jnt: heru."l.i iJ , j never .lii - . . ; tli env-h. tut. .v r.ir..r. f'? !-lC tlio c. .:. "in-..ie,itlv, wlie'i tl c.'irli "3 ":"" "'iiKT'j'i. trn.t a Mies, i.n I'sa pfiit:I i". ::i- full fliroctlnn. fr. .cold iv;;rty wiikre. ! Df'tKt, JOnSOXilfF.n. rrop.,HBrI!inrfr,ii,Vt. - aaintiii Sold t.v V. S. H rker & r.r Ml'onyl'urif ?iViNlU3' BLOCK, EDENSRUf?C PA CARL RIVINIUS, Practical Watcbmater and Jeweler HASalwayaon bn.nl a lame, rariert and ele nt R5..rtmT.t nt WA1 I'll KS, VA k:KS .1 KW KLRY. SPK TA( f,l S, K V K-(H, SSf.S Sic, trh-ch be otters for salo at lower prices than my ot her dealer In the county. Person needing unvthlnir In hli line win do well.to gire him aea 1 before f nrchafllnir elsewhere. -Af'ronjpt attention paid to rpn.rlnir Clolrfl WateheK, Jewelry, fcc, and atislaction araarao e?! in bo' h work n.l price. aSr3 B S7T Ihe Oreatc-t .al 'ltiaijri cf tie Age! C Y !V F-To Viy op A TOKPED LIVER. I.cjanf; jpri .re, riJ.v.;jco;titi), laia la the. henif, T!t!j n !nll sensation la the b.T.-k part, Tjin sudcr tbo sheaider blade, Fnllrru nlte- eatlae. with adii. In-liDHtion tn "3terti cf bsdrermkd, Irtitmbiiity o'tpr.iicr, I.ovr apirits, with m f". lirp cf b.-Ti 'z t)(c!cr;eiJ acme doty, IVearine''.', Iizzinee, flattering at thai ilert. DotQ ir-f.ira 1 he t;n, Itadirba t;r tbc ri'-t C'-3, irrtlea-r.oii, with utiV! iSler.nn, i '. ?h ly colored I rlue, and "i t II S i'LLS avo especially adapted a :c !i i-u-s, 0110 tloso ctTfcta 8':ch a ct: l ie 'oifeoiit's i-ttrnior.!ahthenirrerer. '. ' ey In.-rene tlia A pret Its, and rnnce tho t " to Tak s ;i Klc itit'nn toe a-t.-ra la ii ..ir'.ic.l, a' 1 hr'h.- rTonlc Aetloi on th IllpHirf O-unt.T'rt ult Sttclf aro Zr 1. V: . SJ.-.e. I !fiirrT Kt.,W.y. res hm oye. t-iAT HAirt or V.'siaKEHS cbnnged to a Rt.osir Black by n ainele application of th.i DTii. Jt mi pan a a natural color, acta lri-fiintancouHly. sold by Draggiata, or per t hv express on receiptor 91. Office, rViurray St., Nw York. The CHEAT JUMBO ENGINE BOIIER COMEIVED. Prire. J VZSr wpvnrd Oieanest rlir tn tbemarltet fordrl Ira: Hirht mnehlne rr. Jnat the thlnif for Farmer' ne. Ire rream Txalera, I'Hntlnr T'rop.'ea. Thre?h'- Machines ic. Msnofact'irer nf all klnd ft Ma chinery A .lohblna;. SenH for Catalogue and Prtee It't. II. P. KNKIN, 84. as fc as Ibit Ave., AllKunKFT. Pa. May Tl, ia.85.-lyr. mm PA1 Ot.'.iinod an -il' rATFXT nrslXsSnt tf nde.l to for MOMMA TE FEES. Our flipt1 ii oppn'-ite tli U .S Patent Of fire, noil wi- oat. c'ltin 1'hIoh: jn 1 time than ttioso rftpot fiom WASTTIXG TOX. Snl MODEL Oil hliAWISH. H ei ad vino as to pat. tit thjii'v frp ,,f rb. iret" : and we make XOCIIAir.lE 1.' XL ESS PA TEXT IS SECURED. We r-fr, here, to the Pos'innter, the Sunt, of Monev Ord-r I)iv.. and t offlrialt of the IT. S. ltitit OfTic. For clroniar. ad vice, terms nnd ref-f trees ti actual clients In your (I'V n State or t-'outity, write to C. ? . HXO W & CO., pp. ratrnt unit e, aslilnaton, D. . THE COM PLETE HO H ErV?7 I tic elitiJrv Njw hin-i.rifcf.. N w ii:-.trTiijn I trtji.i new iirsifjti,. Suit !y j!tt :i 07. -i.n.r .n-m prtztt. A i I .t:i 1-' - ;i f . r ,t. 'ionnc htf )r. I".f Hi I8KM-.. 1 he l.an-i.:.i ;l L.rTjCtuS t-FAI'lKV (VltlS-'N.V Co.. 60 N''rth ith St. Philldcl- p'i.a, la. A . -r i-i-i-il ii'w I. v Li Iibl-. , i' VejetaHe Saba N & I If fee1: - ---3 3 jt. . r . ; -vinci. !: i..?t EM...?.. 5 'T3 UTT5S i mm-:t W raaa- aam a f-i iM A ClfAliMEI) HOWL When the fevor peculiar to nr.t:i seizes upon a new comer, said die friend who told tue this story, it deals har liy with liitrj. 'o it wa with me. I was just con ations tL: t I wss t:ot lik?ly to lie, jet not. strong er.ou.,1) to tliink of any of the niauy rrepmntions I tdiould have made if my Lours were numbered. I had stink into a heavy, feverish half sleep, through v. iiich I heard some one say : "He will ko off like that.'' and was beginnim; to dream without being a: tuely without conscious ness of my surroundings, wlien the door of our lou;r, low, whitewashed room opened and a lady entered, hhe was a woman with dr.vk eyes and golden hair and a cream-v bite skin, lier dress was whito, with a bit of blue about it somewhere. She enrrit-d a bowl in her band. The bowl was of thin, transparent china rarely seen, painted with leaves nnd buds of brilliant colors, and here and there a Kor geous sort of butterfly. It was full of wa ter, the purest and clearest that I over saw. ' Are you thirsty f she asked as simply as a mother inipht ak the question of her child. "Yes, madam,'' I answered, " and the doctor will not let me drink." " Hut I will," fhe said. She put the bowl to my Hps; ere sho withdrew it was empty. "fiood nitiht nnd pleasant dreams," she said, mid smiled and left me. I slept then, sweetly, dreamles'dv, for I know not how many hours. When I awoke the fevt r was pone und I rapidly recovered strength. One morning I said : " I should like to thank that lady, for she cured inn with her pretty bowl of water.'' " There's been no woman here for months," one of them said. "That was a dream one of your fever dreams ; quinine, did the business for you." It was hard to convince me, but nt la-t they proved to me thut at least they had seen no woman : that no one vave me any thing' to drink to their knowledge ; and I began lo believe in ministering anuels. It was as certain to me that I had s en this fair, tall, dark eyed lady, with her blue veined hands holding that curious china bowl, as it was certain that I had been ill. However, many other matters eutrrossed my thoughts. I ceaed at last to tell the story, since the regular answer was that in a fever one fancied ever thing; and ten years fr m that time I was in Virginia, in Prince I'd waul connty, not far from the court house. I had been driving with a friend, and we were riding past a lino old mansion with a beautiful array of llowers lu its garden, when a woman walked "lowly down the bath and paused to pick a ro-.-. Her figure was tail, her hair gold-n. her eyes black. Her motions w re it ef'ul. Willi a little exclamation of astonishment I r.-cou n'..'.e l the lady of my dream, if dream it were. She looked a little older nny, a. good ten j ears older but otherwise unaltered. I know not in what words I communi cated this fact to my friend, but I know I ended by saying : ' I must speak to her. She will remem ber. " " She would think you a mailman." he said. "Come on. You may get yourself shot for staring at another man's wife. They do those things promptly at the eouth. I will find out who she is If you like." I assented eagerly. We rode on. " Talk. to me , as much as you like, ' he said, "but never expose yourself to strangers. It is possible that this lady was in Brazil in It., and brought you something to drink when you were left alone. In that case a doubt that troubles yon will be satisfied. You can with all propriety, cull on her and thank her." But. though he spoke iu this way, I knew he did not Imagine it could be so. That evening we smoked our cigars iu Col. L "s company and my friend dip lomatically Introduced the subject. "That beautiful house with tho large garden," he said, "Is quite a feature of thf place. Who owns it t" "A lonely woman, widow of Mr. V ," said the colonel. "She was a belie in her girlhood. She might still be ona if she chose." "Perhaps we saw her in the garden," said my friand, beginning a minute de scription. "Exactly. It was no one else," said the colonel. My friend paused a moment and then said : "She reminded B of someone he met in Brazil. In fact he almost believed her the same person." " No, no," said the old colonel. " Mrs. V has never left Virginia. We have known the family since she was 2 years old. It is only the other day that we spoke of that, and she lamented that she had not traveled more." I felt a pang of disappointment, but found cournge to say : I should greatly like to be Introduced to her." The old colouel instantly offered to intro duce me. " But remember," said my friends, as we parted, "never tell her of your fancy. It would spoil your chance with her, and I see it is a case of love at first slzht." He was right, and I was very fortunate very happy. I won the beautiful wo man's heart. Her fortune I did not want, but It was large. I had sufficient means, and could not be suspected of mercenary motives. We were married after a long and ardent wooing on my part. She loved me, but a second marriage seemed wrong to her, and It was not un til she realized that she had irretrievably given me her heart that she would give her hand. Neither of us had ever visited Europe. We decided to cross the ocean during our honeymoon. . Before we went she showed me her beautiful home and all her posses sions. Among them was a store of old china. Suddenly she turned to the shelves of her cabinet and took down a china bowl transparent, covered with flowers and but terflies of quaint, unconventional form. A she held it toward me, 1 saw again the long, low hung, whitewashed Brazil ian room the crowd of men playing cards at an improvised table the figure of the woi.iau advanced toward m". It was her attitude that my wife had assumed. I uttered a cry. "Are you thirsty ?" she asked. "It's true, then:" I cried. "You are the woman who saved my life when I lay perishing of fever In Brazil ?" She began to tremble. Setting the bowl aside, she threw herself into tnj arms. "Long ago," she panted "ten years ago I thought I held that bowl In my hand and a.ked yon that. It was night. I do not know whether I dreamt, or whether I was mad. In the dead of night I thought a voice called to me : ' Pave the man whom destiny has set Apart for you!' Then I arose nnd asked : ' How V "There lsou our plantation aspring the. water of which is magical in its power to cure fevers. I dreamt or thought that some unseen thing led me toth spring. I carried this bowl in my hand. 1 filled it. Then I -food in a strange room long, low, white, and yon you lay on a pallet hot wit'i fever, and I said: 'Are you thirsty ?' and gave you to drink. "The ne.t morning I would have thought it was ail ;'. dream but thai the bowl, still wet, stood at my bedside. Now I have told you this, do you think me mad or su perstitious ? 1 have longed so often to tell you, but I dared not." But I also had my tale to tell the one I have told yon. We ak each other often: "What was it? What did it mean How is it to be explained ?" But no answer comes to us. W hatever It may have beeu, it brought us togetin.-r, and I bless it from my soul; for we are happy as few lovers are, my darling ife and I. And whatever it was it came, from heaven. Nothing unholy had any Land in it. C nrloua R!tapli. In Alresford Churchyard, Hants, is the following on au exciseman : N. snrio'Visor', e.ie-ek bo fenrs Now no onmmissiioner oliev, ; IJm's J row fiom cares, oiii rea'.iei. toars. And all the bvivrn! oi h tirvey. And this In liochester Churchyard : Though yoimir she was. her youth conld not withstand, Nor her jjrot'iet from leath's Impartial hand, l.L'e ia a cobweb, bu we e'er so Kay. .And IHsatli a broom, that sweeps us all away. In Christ Church Churchyard, Hants, is the following, which is supposed to allude to ten persons drowned, whose bodies were driven on shore, and buried in a field, but the owner, considering it an in vasion oti his property, dug them up, when they were removed to the church yard : Ws were not slain, but rais'd liaii'd not to lifo. But to bo buried twice, Ky men of strife. Whni ro-st could living; bare. When rlealh had noais t Ariruc amongst you. lb:r wrt tu cr ona. Here Is one from Gainsborough Church yard on a certain John Gabriel : Heic tins tho body of Gabriel John. Who died iu lua year hleen hundred and Oue. 1'ray for tho soul of Oabriel John, S ou in i) . if you pleaso. or may lal It alone, Koi It's A one to tiabriel John. Who died in tho your eighteen hundred and one. TLrs, on a Mr. Partridge, who died in May, is humorous: What ! kill a I'aTtridjre In the month of May! Was tliatdnue IU a sportsman oh. Death eh 'f A Learned Wltneao. Witnesses are often exceedingly stupid, but we don't know whether this witness ought to be called stupid or not. It was desired to get from him au exact account of some conversation, with the "says I" nnd " says he," but the counsel conld not make him comprehend the form in which he was wanted to make his statement. So the court took him In hand. " Now, my man, tell us exactly what passed." " Yes, your honor, certainly. I said that I would not have the pig." " Well, what was bis answer ? " "He said that he bad been keeping the pig for me, and that he" "No, no; he did not say that he could not have said it. He spoke in the first persu'.i." "No, I was the first person that spoko, your boner.'' " I mean this : don't bring in the third person ; repeat his exact words." " There was no third person, your honor ; only him and me." "Look here, my good fellow, he did not say hr had beeu keeping the pig. He said, ' 1 have been keeping It.' " " 1 assure you, your honor, there was no mention of your boner's name at all. We are on two different stories, your honor. There was no third person; and if any thing had been said about your honor, I must have heard it." So the court had to give It up, thongh the witness was only too glad to tell all he knew. The Kind of Tlowar He Wanted. ' I want a lawn mower," said a man as he stepped into a hardware store. " A ny special kind you prefer 1 " inquir ed the dealer. " No. I don't know much about lawn mowers myself, but I want the noisest one that Is made. I've got a darned mean neighbor, whose children worry the life out of me with their whooping and yelling every night till ten o'clock. I want a mower that can discount the tannery whistle, and I'll whoop it np every morn ing from four o'clock 'till breakfast, and wake up all the little rats. When night comes they will be sleepy enough to go to bed at a decent hour." A machine was picked out. "Never mind the oil can," said the man, as the merchant began to tie one to the handle, "I ain't going to use any oiL Noise is what I am after." An Amualne Incident at a Dinner. An old English ofScer relates the follow ing anecdote : When a young subaltern, we were quar tered at Brighton, and received consider able attention from a widow and her on married daughter. Having joined the lady and her daugh ter on the esplanade one evening, we were pressingly invited to return with them to a quiet family dinner. We accepted the Invitation and returned to the house. Dinner was expected at seven o'clock, but, as the widow was In lodgings, It was excusable that it did not appear till eight p. m. A boy In bnttons waited, and ths dinner commenced in all due form and with dig nity. The widow, however, seemed to have the weak idea that it was not correct to know what was coming o: the table, and at length, as the boy placed two dishes of tarts before us, she inquired : " What are these. Robert " The boy, full only of his late pecuniary transactions with the pastry-cook round the corner, pointed first at one dish, then at the other, and said : "Them's two for a penny, and them's two for three 'aifpence, mum." Personal Xralta of Xllmn 71 a r rye t. In appearance Miss Varryatt is a per fect blonde, with hair o ' a dead gold tint, worn in loose, light curt? clustering to a most intellectually shaped head, and com plexion of a delicate white and roseate hue, A tall, slender and most shapely form, a well turned throat, fine teeth, beantiful hands, with long white finizers tapering to pink, almond-shaped nails. In dress she differs but little from the American lady, wearing, however, more lace about her throat and wrists. A broad lace collar .falling over a garnet velvet waist, with loose sleeves turned back with the same sort of lace, and a skirt of garnet cash mere flowing to the floor In large, grace ful folds give the renowned novelist a pic tnresqueness all her own. Taken all In all she is a woman of commanding presence, distinguished appearance and high-bred manners. COiVHCAL PARROTS. Soma Good Siorlca About l'olly Xh I lever Rlrd .Hake. Plenty of "IMrhlef. While a new'y-married couple were away on their honeymoon, they left their house in charge of servants. On their re turn their parrot repeated several times, ' Iet's have another bottle ; there's no one here to know;" and then followed the ap propriate " plop, plop'' and gurgle. How the servants must hare loved this clever bird ! This story Is quite true. So Is the following: A Yorkshire gentleman had s feve'r about Christina time, and his par rot was removed from the dining-room to the kitchen, where its voice was less like ly to disturb its master. It remained there for several weeks, during which It stole the raisins intended for a plum-pudding. The cook, in anger, threw soma hot grease at it, and scalded its head. When the gentleman got better the bird was carried back to the dining-room. Its master approached with newly-shaved head ; whereupon the parrot turned one eye upon him, and slowly said, " You bald-headed ruffian! So you stole the cook's plums, did you f" While the late Dean Stanley was a canon at Canterbury, a gentleman who had been invited to breakfast with him found all servants assembled In the gardeu and gazing up at a laburnum in which their master's parrot was at large. At that moment out came the master. The par rot looked down at him and said, iu a slow but distinct voice exactly like the late dean's "Let us not pray." The bird was eventually captured by the aid of a flshlng-roiL A grey parrot was stationed In a nurs ery, where his greatest delight was to see the baby bathed. The child being attacked by some lufantile complaint, the parrot was removed to the kitchen. There, after a time, he set up a terrible cry " Tho baby ! tho dear baby I" All the family rnshed down to find Wie parrot, in a state of the wildest excitement, watching the roasting of a sucking pig. Dr. Karl Ituss, in his recently-published work, "The Speaking Parrots," telLs of a grey, which waa teased by a fat major, whom it knew well, to climb a stick. " lp on the stick, Polly up on the stick :" crlod the officer. The parrot suddenly burst into a loud lauh, and said, " Up with you on the stick, major."' Kverybody has heard of the parrot of Heury IV. which fell info the Thames from a window In the palace at Westmin ster, and called out, " A crown for a boat." The waterman who rescued it claimed a crown accordingly ; and the parrot, on be ing asked what he should be paid, is stated lo have replied, "Give the knave a groat." Dr. Hubs tells another curious story of a grey which taught a young Amazon (parrot: to talk. When the pupil did not learn his words correctly, the grey would say, " Blockhead !" and turn contemp tuously away. Eventually the grey and the Amazon were able to converse. The former would say, " Have you any money ?" to which the latter would reply in a doleful voice, "No." Kosa (the grey) would then give the name of the emperor, and Coco (the Amazon; would ejaculate, ' Iong life to liitfl !" One grey is related to have mourned for his mistress when she died. It was difficult to Induce him to take food. Often, too, he would reawaken the grief of the mourners by asking them, " But w here is the lady, then f" A parrot has been known to live !n con finement for twenty years without learn ing a single word, though It afterwards became an accomplished talker. More over, no two birds are exactly alike in tem perament. One learns with di.tlculty, but never forgets : another picks up every thing he hears, but remembers nothing for more than a few days. Some few learn readily, and retain what they have learnt. One bird, mentioned by Dr. Rubs, began to talk the very day that it arrived, and when It saw breakfast, s.tid, " Bake cake3" and "Give some to the parrot ;" while another, also mentioned by him, could not utter its own name until It had been eight months with its owner, wrftm It began to learn something every day. Ultimately it was taught to repeat verses, and if It made a mistake would say an grily. "You are no good ;" but If it got through its task without au error, it would praise Itself. Dr. Greene, who has lately published a book called ' Parrots In Captivity," tells of a gray which goes through a long per formance in which speaking plays quite a secondary part ; but when It is shut up In a coal box. It imitates a postman's knock, and when you say, " Who's there !'' dis tinctly replies, " Open the door for Polly." And, combating Curler's opinion that " these imitative and mechanical quali ties are not to be attributed to superior reason or sagacity," Dr. Greene in stances the case of a cockatoo which waa never known to ask for potatoes except when dinner was on the table, nor to say, " Oh, you're a beauty," but to a child. Anecdote of Voltaire. Some one had teased Voltaire a great while with perpetual letters, to which Voltaire had given no answer. At last be wrote to him, "Sir, I am dead. I cannot In future have the honor to writ to you." Voltaire never received so severe a sar casm as from the celebrated author of " Metromanie," Perin. These rival wits had been long upon 111 terms together, and as Voltaire was one day coming out of the playhouse at Paris, in a bad humor at the ill-success of one of his tragedies, hat piet Perin, and contemptuously said to him: " Well, sir, and what do you think of my tragedy " " That I will not tell you, sir," replied Perin ; but. If you will not permit me, I will tell you what ;nu think of it." ' Why, said Voltaire, " what do I think of It, then, Per'.n " "Well," replied the wit, "you wish that 1 had written it." BMILES. She " And did you paint much when yon were in Norway and Sweden " He "A no: There was anothah paintah there !" Sober Passenger (angrily) "I.ook where you step, man :" Tipsy Passencer apologetically i "Y-yes. I do; the tr trouble is to-luc step where I look." " Have you heard how Jones is to- aay I have just called on him. His brain Is In a terrible condition." "Ia that all t Then there is no chance for his being seriously 111." The Stars and Strlnea. The design of the American flag was adopted by Congress June 14, 1777. The stripes were first used In a flag which wns presented by Captain Markoe to the Philadelphia City Troop in 177.1, and still in the possession of that organization. In it thestries appear in the tipper left h.n.l corner, where the stars now are. Where the stars come from, or who suggested them, is a much disputed but little known nenhlro GREAT CARD PLAYERS. STATESMEN WHO WESE F0JTD OF TVS. How Henry C lay Won a l ine Pletnre Irom Albert Gallatin Niorlc of Ad una, ( alklna, and Other. Th lie President is said to be fund of i in. ot-K Garlield was fond of euchre nud whitit, aud there are a score of men imw Its too 1. tilted States Senate w ho under stand the most subtle ii.tricacies of poker. Daniel Webster was a famous bund nt euchre; Grner.il Scott liked nothing bet t'i than a nttrht at the whist ta..l-.-. ami i'lauk I'ierco k:iev how to i lay raids 1 liked th-uii. in tho days ot Pi.-iie ll.c f 'i esnJen tln.v a: were more liet.iu' O'.v. Th v w;. '.. ! at n- thiTi ilUll' Co' friend ii. town ,;i d p.ii.l Tisit to the.r thuir ti:.,:i s. i'ie W..h ni .u u,. sv j o.: !- nt oi Hut Cleveland Lei'. r .. Uj ..i- iitci't s! i... ..-iKsii. oil l li Mle. t. " :'..i . o'o ?.! e,:'.K" .-nil l.s s ;,i v a :.. ft OU I la '"ii. Mil ti.-.- li.lc, whicli i-, j t little piimph'et published i (a I Z : !. w.-ss the American Minister land v! th.-re. -tiii jut till-, . to ,1 Hided bimsoi '. sii ks to him. It is a veiytin mi i r. Scltei" !. owes its origin lli.-i'.i.-di Duchess lathiT than Hu met this woman, I am told, at one if the ;tucn's receptions, and fell into co'iV'-rsa! i. in wit li her about cards. Dur ing ;hi t-iik ho described to her the beau ties of poker in such a way that sho be ca:no iii'ci:s.-!y interrid, nd begged him to write her out a set of rules and di rect ioin for j laying the great American game. This Mr. Srhenck very kindly oid. The Duchess loarned to plar poker, and ns it wove its fascinating: toils about herslio wanted her frien-ts to learn also. For convenient e she had. Mr. Si heack's letter pi niled in a neat pamphlet mid dis tributed among her friends of th (O'irt ci ' A mal.i ions acribbler heard of i he, I.sct, anal telegraphed to the American newspapers that our 1'orei.rn Minister b.-id publ shed a book on poker-playisig. They took it for gospel, and du'-Led him "Poker Bob," and tho name, as usual, sticks. Senator Beck, of Kentucky, is one of the beit story-tcdlers in Congress. Ho went to school as a boy at a school near Ashland, tho residence of Henry Clay, and he described th other iiiiit a isit w hich a number of the college boys once made on tha old statesman. "As Mr. Clay rose to meet ns hi- face shone with smiles and eveiy boy in the pa.ty was slraUlitway his friend. In the cour-c of the talk he nk-d us what we thought of. his pictni'S. There Mere a number, some paintings, and some engravings, hanging tipou the walls in different parts of the room. finally decided v. on one, a pict ire of a woman holding a bowl of t-team.ng mush in her hand, as the finest oue in tl.e col let tinn. As we did so. Mr. Clay laughed aud said: 'Yes. bo;, s. I think you have pi ked out my best picture, and as you h ive done so I must toll Its history. I got that picture at Ghent, and In a curious way. Albert Gallatin, John tuiney Adams and myself were thsre making the treaty, and Mr. Gallatin and myself took chances in a picture rail's. My prize turned out to be that picture,' pointing to an inferior engraving on the other side of the room, ' and Gallatin got this. Now Gallatin knew very little about art, and I did not know much, but I conld see at a glance that bis picture wns far better than mine, and that 1 should be laughed at If we took the pictures homo and compari sons were made. I saw that I must get hold of Gallat in s picture, and I sid to rdm : Mr. Gallatin, these two pictures were made to match each other and the man who ha one ought to have both. Now, I will tell you what I will do. I will put my picture against yours and we will play a game of cards for them. The man who wins shall take both pictures, and you may name the game. " ' Mr. Gallatin thought a momeut, con sented, and said "seven up,' aud," con tinued Senator Bock, "I cau hear Henry Clay's hearty laugh now and see his smile of iutense merriment as he con cluded, As soon as Gallatin said scven np I knew I had him. He knew but little about cards, and I was one of the best even-up players In Kentucky. The re sult was as I had anticipated, and I got the picture.' " The next story was told by Congressman Calkins. Said he: "I heard a curious story of Clay while I was campaigning in the southern part of Ohio. It wus told me at a littlo Ohio town, the name of which I do not bow remember. Clay was accustomed to stop over at this town on his way to Washington, and one night while he was there ha became engaged in a game of poker with several men about the hotel to pass away the time. A pro fessional gambler got into the party, and cheated for wme time without dis covery. At last he laid down three aces when Clay had two in his hand. Clay had been accustomed to playing with gentlemen, and one of the poker party, who told me the story, said that his anger at this moment was terrible. He slowly drew himself out of his seat and rose uj ward until he seemed about seventeen feet high. He drew his pistol and the man made for the door. Clay did not follow him, but he expressed his indig nation by walking round to his chair and shooting a holo tl: rough ita center. The gambler left the town instanter." Another story about Clay, so well au thenticated that it conies to me almost di rectly from Henry Clay's month, relates an adventure of his with old Throckmor ton, a noted hotelkeeper at Louisville in Clay's day. Throckmorton was one of Mr. Clay's most intimate Kentucky friends. In their latter days the two were almost inseparable, and they often joined hands over the whbt table. Throckmor ton was a fine whist player, aud nothing irritated him more than to have his game Interrupted or spoiled by talking. Throck morton generally beat Clay, but Clay got ahead of htm at a whist party in Louis ville, when he and Throckmorton were partners. The stakes were nominal -$1 a game, I think ami as soon as the party at down at the table Clay began to tell stories. The result was that he paid no attention to bis hand, and through his blunders trick after trick was lost. Throckmorton protected from time to time, finally saying : " Really, Mr. Clay, for a man of your ability, education and reputation, you are the poorest whist player I have ever known." The play continued the same way, and Throck morton grew more and more angry. At last Clay said : " Y'ou are making more fuss by your objecting than 1 am ny my stories. Now," and here he pulled out a 1 10 gold piece, "we will each lay 10 on the table, and the man who talks first shall lose his money." To this Throckmorton consented, and the $J0 were laid beside the stakes of 1 a side in the middle of the table. Clay then began to rlay worse than ever. He trumped Throckmorton's ace and threw away his own suit until Throckmorton, who for some time bad been uriltitiii his teeth, ron, and, pushing the moi.ey at Clay, said : "Here, take yo::r money. I am not going to let .'0 stand in the way of my tellin any sue h card -pitying i li t as you are showinc: yourself to !e w lint I thick of him." ilethen Went over Clay rougii-.-hod. Clay laughed as he put the two c dd pices in his ;o ker, an 1 the company lan-hed with him when be said that he had been try.nir for y--ars to In-nt .Vr. 1 hrot kniisrton. nnd he was glad to feel that he had d ne so fortune. Itadl.al 4 lsaisre 1st XI oMirn. Pre.. A New York lady orrespon ient of the Boston lleral l writes : I think that ven erable and highly respects! an icle of f malo dress, the cliemis.-. may a lvat.'a j onsly lie whollv dispense I with. Kvuy one Is supposed to have a chemf-e t i h r back,'' but that this snpuo.it on is not wholly true was proved to me s mie tim. ago. When at the seaside las; aut.n.sn two girls, mutual friends of mine, aud whom I introduced to each other, wc.it one warm day wUh me to batiie. One said to the others "I am afraid yon will be aw.u'.ly shocked when you see me undress."' "Shocked '. Whv "' "Well. I hardly like to t.-Il you -but the fact is I have o little on."' " I don't wear much," said the other. "All I have is combinations, stays nnd one petticoat under my dress." Curious ly enough, both these girls were dns.ed in precisely the same way in woolen com binations, stayss (well-shaped and not tight), one petticoat, and a dress, wioth. from its elegance, gave no suspicion oi t he state of affairs underneath. As I had an opportunity of observing, these young ladies were dressed in perfect sanitary style although, none but myself bad any idea of the fact ; and. In spile of it, they passed for two of the be-t-dre-s-d v;irl.s f.t t he fashionable wateiing place where wo were at.iylug. I have since had several opportunities of observation, and I llnd that tjuite a immlx-r of the be.-t drcs.-cu wom- n of my acquaintance have renounced the use of tliemisein favor of woven combinations. The majority, however, I believe, are not induced to do -o by s .uilary considerations, bet simply I ccaiise the chemi-e is a bulky article aud makes them 1 ok stout er than is natural to them ; whereas the combinations bem male in a stretchy material, fit somewhat closely and fhoir the sjmnietryof tiie figure. Invention ol ti n n powder. In a pa, er read before the Shanghai branch of tiie Royal Asiatic Society, Dr. Mat -gowan u.'hrms the claims of the Chi nese to b.- the originators of gunpowder and firearms. This c'.nim w its examined in an elaborate paper some years ago by the laU- Mr. Mayers, and decided by him in the nogative. Dr. Mat gowan admits that gunpowder as nov used is n European discovery. Anterior to its granulation by Schwartz it was a crude compound, of littlo use in propelling mis-iles : tins, says tho writer, is the article hist Used in China. The incendiary materials stated by a Greek historian to have been em ployed by the Hindoos against Alexan der's nrmy are stated to have been merely the napbth ins or pet ro .'etiiu mixtures of the ancient Coreans, and in early times used by the Chinese. The ' stink pots," so ni'icu used by Chinese pirates, are, it appe trs, a Cambodian invention. Dr. Macpowan states alsj that as early as the twebth or thirteenth century the Chinese attempted submarine warfare, contriving lu.le tori e..oi.s for that purpose. In the year looo au inventorcxhibiied to the then Emperor of China "a tire-gun aud a Pre boiub."' He says that while the Chinese dl-covere 1 the explo-ive nature of nit.r, sulphar. and charcoal in combination, they were laggards in its application, from inability to perfect its manufacture : so. In the use of firearms, failing to prosecute experiment, they tire found behind iu the matter of scientific gunnery. Cnltiireaisd If a ppliiea. Now life is md iily what we make it, but il is. very lnr.ely. what we think it is, remarks the phi. osop her of the Boston Traveler. If wo hold before ourselves constantly, some dreary "might have leen ;"' if we think it is, in some nnex plainable way, finer and more exalted to sot ourselves to a minor key of some mis erere, wc may become in reality very un happy. There is no law, unfortunately, against peoples making themselves wret'hod. Si h penhauer's theory is that culture ninkes for uiihappiness : thut the more cultivated is an individual the more sensi' ive is he to physical discom fort or mental troubles, and that he is thereby a being formed to le jarred upon at every turn. It is very posib!e that the old adae about a little learning applies to this case. A superficial culture doubtless increases one's sensibilities in various ways without producing a corresponding increase of resources ; but the deejer cul ture supplies these and enables its pos sessor to bear a thousand trials or to dis cover means to surmount them as may be, of which the more ignorant individual would never have dreamed. Another Biter nit, A man traveling afoot with a compan ion came unexpei tedly upon a country race course, an 1 found in one portion of the ground a thimblcrlg establishment In full work. His companion, a thorough madcap whom we w ill call B. insisted on observing the same. "Would the gent like to bet a dollar he could find the little pea " said the thiru blerigger. Done !" was the answer; and down went the stakes on both sides. The operator went through his little bit of sleight-of hand, and B. pitched upon a thimble, which turned out to be the right one. A second let, "double or quits," alo ended In B. 's favor. A third bet, "a fiver or nothing," made the loser take extra care over the perform ance of the trick. Aa n B. lifted one of the thimbles, showed the pea, and iocket ed the stake. "S'help me 1" said the bewildered ar tist. " 1 never put it there." "No." replied the winner, making off with the spoils of war; "I always carry my own pea." Ilye Floor for Ileea. Unbolted rye flour is said to be a t;ood substitute for liees in place of farina. It should be placed in shallow toxes a few rods from the bee stands, so that the lees can visit it whenever they so desire. Home awl Fit mi. Hairy Firmln;. No system of farming demands more un tiring carefulness, greater technical knowledge, or more precision in method than dairy farming. Lornon Lilt NtocJc Journal. IIovv to Loosen To loosen a l ustet t II ntrl Screw. screw applv heat to its end. A small bar or rod of iron, flat at the end, if reddened in the fire and ap plied for two or three minutes, will reader easy tho withdrawal of the screw. HOrSEIIOLl) HINTS. Tint a ponn 1 of sncar Is one t- nt, that an nun. e of nny lvjuld is two ta'blspot.a f ills, a: .1 that a pint of ii.juid weighs six teen ounces. That lemon inice w ill whiten fnM'r.ffj cranberry or sir w 1 ert y jnn e w ill oU r It pink, ami the cr.itcl rind of an r.ango strained through a cloth w ill color n yel low. That silver i-puwn that have Worn' di-cd.ircd in contact with cooked ccg may be easily brichtotted by rubbing w nh t omm.in sa't. That alnm'pof gum cam phor iu 'he closet w her-s silver or plated, w are is kept w.Il do much toward prevent ing tarnish. Cnal ga. nnd the near prest ei c- of rub' er in any ftjrm. Hie tw o things that cause sils er I i tai'nish rju cklv. 1 he nil ber line ironnd the ue. k of a fruit jar will tarnish a whole ciopt full of a,ler" in the space of one night, while a sils er spoon left tor mi hour in tee tnoutUof such a i;r wi 1 l. found -csed of truly rain bow tii.ts next day. That m:c of the best and most conven" Hut re -c; t-o l. s j. r t.t 1 ci.- i.-ry is a cot ton f'a nnel k il'e so t n k-d to 1 he inside if a putdnsard door tn I e const ru-tt-d so that there will be a -e'larate e, ,m part n.ent f .r e-o h kti:' .r f-vik. The flannel is sure to ab-e rb n-it moisture left on a kuiie hr carelessness or l.y accident . and tiie svholo a:lnir is ornamental. White canton flannel lonnd w ith scarlet dreaj braid is prettiest. That vegetables hich loe some of their color In 1st ing boiled may have that color rc-torei! ,y plunvjn r tuein for an instant in cold water, immediately aflr removing lrom the boiling wafer. That hot wotnd ashes applied to a stov when col l will remove grease. Cover th spot entirely : do not be sparing of the ashes. That in cleaning paint, spots which w'il! not yield to rubbinir. or to soap even the sjMits which look like small gashes cut through the paint may be removed by rubbing lightly with a damp cloth dipped in soda. That a sponge may lx cleansed beetling it lie covered with milk for twelsThours, and then rinsing in cold water. That laundry starch makes the best paste for scrap-lsooks, because age does not turn it yellow. That moths will not eat through papor. That glass may 1st cut th any hard tool. liUe a chisel. fr iiTanre, if kept constantly wot w ith camphor dissolved la spirits of turjentine. That the gummed Iajs of circular en velopes, which come through the malls unsealed, are worth t-avint;. Once form the habit of savinc them, and many uses will be found for them. That common letter envelopes. If cn carefully across, or.e end instead of being torn lrom their enclosures, often make convenient paerbnps. That, in case of a burn or scald, the es sential thing is to exclude th" air from the in jured memlser as ouicfcly and as completely as possible. Tiial this may ta accomplished by immersing the Injured part in water, not too pold, and then, as quickly as may be. cover with flour tO the depth of an inch. If possible, with drawing the burned part from the water only as fast as the l'our ran te applied, thus preventing pain. Caution: Never apply cotton, wool, or cotton batting to Sj burn, and do not ue soda on a burn unless the skin remainssvhrsle. An A rentier! nral Qsseatlon. Teacher to class In arrhitecturt " Cen tlenien, you have examined the designs for to-day's lessons ? " Class "We have." Teacher " Weil then, Mr. Brown, will you kindly tell me what the nave of a chnri h is"? " Brow n " Certainly, sir. It is the Sun day school superintendent w ho is cushnr of a bank- I'i'lthui gn t'hrmiirit. Tnberosev To propagate tuberoses, the small off sets that form around the bulb are broken off, and planted in row s In rich, light soil, taking them up again lefore winter, of course. They will bloom the second or third year. Unless these off seta ars broken oil when planting the flowering bulbs, these will not bloom weiL Joan llllltus Fhiloaoph). Happiness k.m't be defined without fnaklig it look snspishns; the happyeit kno it the least. Lsiv iz like truth: it wi'l translate. It lz the same in all langunsres. Ambishuns ladder rests nirinst a star. The man who haz nothing to do Is either a loafer, or in danger of h.:ng one at any time for the next nin-ty das. Thnre iz more real karakter in the twa little words "yes" and "no" than in all the rest ov the language. It may be poasible for a man to tell how wicked he lz. but impossible to tell how wicked he may he. Talk is the cheapest literature I kno ov it iz az cheap az w ind, aid just about as plenty. To gir It up iz to meet defeat more than half-way ; a forlorn hope iz a humbug. Povertv haz no b.tkbone; it makea a man az hollow az a goose-quill, and aa limpsy az a siring. It is really wonderphull how much w all kno. I never liar suggested an idea that ailmost onny one count not improve upon ; and never ha v herd one st: tfstesi by others that I did not hav an itf rung tn supplement myseit. Cunning at best Is but the chicanery or wisdom. Young man. don't studdr the hesveus; the 1ord haz promised you a time to sow oats nntl gather the krop, and that iz euufl for you to kno about the weather. Money !z a diffikult thing to ridikule. You may call a man "a ritt h phooi'" bnt hiz bank a konnt will all the time start yon in the face. The man who dnz the brRt he kan mar, not w in the race, but ho serlainly kan't be beat. Politeness Is a species ov gotxllyness Slid he who is allwusa kind lz all wus. po lite. Ti e reszon whl lies arkutralate so fas lz bekauze mankind must hav nu things, and most nu things are false. Thare lz a grate deal ov talk in wine, occasional wit, bnt little wisdom. Menny are honest jut as they ere pa shunt, bekauze they are too lazy to bo otherw I.e. So lonir as branes rule the world, th world Is komparati vely safe. Nortonety makes a man know toslsy, perhaps to-inorrosv. but a year from to day forgotten, and that, too, forever. One reazou whi the devil lz so snckcess fnl, he iz allwuss looking for a job. Eserla.tlns Shoe, A nobleman of Cascony 'for all Gascons are noblemen I complaining that his putups did not last long enough, the humble shoemaker asked hint of what stuff his lordship should like to have them m:. t" "Make the ramp. " said ho. "of the throat of a chorister ; the quarter, of tlo skin of a wolf 's neck ; and the sole, ot s woman's tongue." The astonished Crisjdn made bold with a second question in the shape of a timid and besitatiug " Pourqnoi " Why, you blockhead." replied the wag, " because the first never aflnnts water; the second, because It never bends on either side ; and the last, ls. a'ise, altbougk always in motion, it never wears out"' The man that parts bis hair in the B-.id-sTJe nnd wears eye-.-la-ses mar bare brrdns. bnt it's no lau'.l of his. lie Inher its l hem. " Why does a est, sir, while eating turn ber hcatl t.rst trie way and then tbe oilier-'' "lor the reason,'' ioplid the exummtd, " that bhe caiHot turn it both ways at once.''
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers