LU t " ' 7 1 1 ' 1 p mm iiiiiiib inimi i , , M M . t K'I,ir' Vmr 1Ubllfclle HE IS A FEEE11AN 'WHOM THE TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL ARE SLAVES BESIDE. " :rzzz.- . . ; Terms, pcr year In advance. I- il.j '4 of :c. ! T. ( Or '9 VOLUME 5 ACADEMIA, PA. Inntf'mber flth. 1 P he-itlinil.nuriicuvcan. KCil ikveh.pinent. 1- rce J well adapted i from loailnir , infiitiii. urn moron. ' 1 , iu )) voting men have hero teen pre- ,r Coll'-i' or business. uiuJoruto. Apply for terms to - D. L). STONE, A.M. J. J. PATTERSON, A.M. r ' Wiitiit f"r tho year just ended is 2.V JtlK' i.i f(.. i Viii tiii II M ioa o clear nun tits . liii l.i.ill I'Ell CKXT. A VC1II. ;iui.''UKi';s -UK siLE. acres superior White Oak F runEK IsikI. n,-'ar J- k Haven, I'a. 5,ti0 r HryiucKTiMHEit lar'd. Potter Co., Pa. I. j'BaU"EK- UeoloffUt Eng'r, Pottsrillc, Pa. PPFR aide bTh: LLLlti Uierl.cv Tliis wholesome, agreea- 1 refreshing sum- verage can be easi- .j-est altut 5 vv rJin, with 3t',nAi ii Mii.lkk's (ienuiuo Root Reer ; fur it at vour store, or send 25 i,:'-.f. r s'vinl mid directions to 4U0 XortU Third l;tt. l'ii.lu'ieli'iiia. i tEKTS WAMED for lite A TRANSMISSION OF LIFE. fOH-FL-lONTIlE X ATl'ItlS AND IIVCIENEOF ,4 J'I.j '. Ki'iiI liffnf ll'ftiriTtt " It ro. To fif' iJCif .v .t , isiuu ui new latis; ucn- ' but (uit-poken ; practical and ppular; r,,ufl (-iiiv. c.xciusive irrriiory. At'rnis I'rio $2. AtMress for content?, etc., V FIIi-iL'S i CO., Publishers, I'hiladelpbia. AGENTS! READ THIS! WE M.I. I'M AUKSTS A nALAlt I trsi ' w a br.'O couiuiission to bell our new and jrir-'ui iiiventions. Address M. WAUNEH iiU..Mjr;hall, Mich. 1,003 RAVD (ilFT CO('ERT kuI Dlstrl- 4 ::u.-u fur tho Uoneflt of the : :CtTof vr Torlr, and SOLDI ILHS' and i!LOi:S ORrUAXb1 HOME, Washington. D. ;.: bs!i;jut Wa.iiinjfton, I. C, uuder and rnueut a permit from Hon. Cominissionr ::-Ainai Itvunue, ou ThliisDay.Jlly 27th, v.H'iy. i:": Concert, tho Commissioners will t.i the successful ticket-holders. 1.503 GIFTS AMOUNTING TO $200,000. UOtiO Ti. kfto only will be sold, ar fe3 each. n il..M. Ci t.i.n . in, of Elkton, Md., Major .T.LAfTi.E. Ikiitimore. Aid., Commissioners. ,B n.JiS. b. NEGI.3Y, II. C, Pittsburgh, Pa,, J.-fiK.-P!: Major-Con. D. Hur.ter. U, R. A., i-:...ian. ii. i.: lion. jas. s. .eeley, Pitts va.ld.: First National Hank, Haentown, : A...ei:ian - Co., Ilatikers. Har-rstowu ; ;::t-,Ta2 A. Sr.iis, Haaertown: Hon. R. J . t--.:.uxp Att..niey-(ieneriil. lialt iiuor ; C. F. it.K'j.,a P.O. Ave.. lialtimora; John II. :.er. L-i V. H. Mich, of w u vivu. jt- C-E-tch.iiiiio Place, llaltiinore. l'-? uf thu Iteal Estate, certified to by in the handA of tho Trustee. A.... ' ' ' inn utr unu Ul a . v . ..r.,'',jel' l Atent, Stationor and Printer. '"ji .Naau Mreet. New York. Tickets f-r-nt jU O., if iit.?ire.l. (Jend for Circular, contain ifCU'1.""1 "f rrize. Tickets for Fain also H-ILEV 4 SAU'iENT, at their Neva Stands. ' P,:i. Harrihurgh. Pittburffh. &c, and r.ect feana. ltailroad and tonuectious. spacer Advertising. i l Efk cf closely printed pnsres, lately 1s Ht?;!ln:.a lit .,f.the best American Ad- :iu''u .ful!,l!:'r.t'eiilar conceniin- the lead vf ""' aud Week I v l'..liii.l ,.,;. i .if-nuiii. iriViiiB' tti tin nes. eiriilx. Lr:."F.'r'r t'-'-tlK-r" with all those liavin)? tiui i! ' puriihed m the interest of i ,,., . "oure, j.nerature, Arc. tivery U,'r.'.'.n!.'r,i'"i ov,'' ,v person who contemplate!) 'iit ' to aM v H,lllres! on receipt of T- TV , " 1'ark Uow' Xew York. V,i' -., i - ,,lr,'h 1!l I-'Mler, in its issue of '"' .",;" SIVS : The linn of G. I. HowelliA: " llsM" sthis interesting and valuable P ir'ti !Hr,ff'?t i,n,l best Advertising Affen "p J, !' (t tiiteo, and we ean cheerfully Ku "'"'to thattentioii of those who de ci , L. v,'rt"" their btisiness seicn I ilieally (.aitV,"ali,Hl,v ineueh away: that is, ' :; i7 ,r ,he lnrfest amount of publicity "CJtutt expenditure of money." ILpoiTTHisT! Usv,, stn(c Owners. n ; "nttnd into nartnershin. the snh. rlv .. ,; ! "ow prepared to do all kind of ' 'I-r.'i' r"'r Fu'" lis I'orinsr tor WATER, W,u ' x "thor MINERALS, mak- vv,. -i-i .Mrs huu repairing oll yl'II't-V """ "o ready at all times to lion-and C '." . ''1!,n,,,i,(-'' "re and put in position mi, T'1 hX(-'K'lolt PI MP, the cheap-f-i,r, i .'n'1 lle and satisfactory Pump for .rk m c ,','r,.'s now in ,,sf"- 1'his Pump will 1 k. . ,. ' " "'""'J' feet deep. We will at all i' Mjitmvof- 1 1..... i,,.,,,. lorn- "'nuc nuuwn xo Jlu"inuutall on nrn.lilrou Trt. X.m '''r4 X K. ' t'EIGnXEIt, Carrolltown, Cambria Co., Pa. .T'VTT.',C T.I - f X r -r -r r-. TO R N EY-AT-1 AAA 1IOLLIDAYSnUP.G. PA. r'afm- S" .""' "tion Riven to the H.IWHon Itntre n. -'"".J'ria, IIiintinKdon. Bedford. irti.. ; VVrneia counties. ' , lease. 6ell : trreatly to i mo . - --ii. .-- ."((HCU Jl uti- J.T. uVv i 1-V.,'lli! 1'hilad.l EAL E&TATEagenot CEO. W. OATMAN 8l CO c OlJice iu oIonule Row. " : '-' M,'',r,al ?i?r.ties w'sh to secure Flouses in Eb-,.-,l'r- at fair rents. 'iiv!SCS an'f I0,s Hre for ront c fair terms. Wf)rrertW8cril'tionm,d price of whut you Tv'.T11"1 kind of a House or nouso Jhn t ITH'l? secure as a tenant. jou wih to sell, or do you wish to buy ? 8KB ITS AT OXCE! I'-'tivi , tr,ms aro reasonable for all service oh?.,.,.',;" Hunters, wee "iteal Estate -r?.ATMA: & 60. w. O ATM AN & CO., Attor. ThI.eniT;L.y,W' Kbenshurp, Cambria Co., r iii.'.0 r'ctlc,"rf notes and bills, whethei wstrtue, will receiv prompt attention. 'I) ' SCA'EAN, Atloninj-at-Law, l't ffliT11' Cam," i Co- I'a. All man t iT" attended to promptly and ' koUcctiuas a specialty. v-tual Fire Insurance Co., j,tl k. lis- hcen oiny business thirty !' j i'ui s it hm laid no assessmont9, ;vVi,'raVi'r;!i;e rate of assessment during tho Ul't!(-M i; "I' or iurnisn ilium on Wiort ,r' "of w! it ,,u naranteed in quality and !:r"t(,f tr 'Z, '"ld W,ltr insured on any farm tt"i.i; ,! , riers soliciteil and pi ompt "ik.i ., when lontrth of Pump or kind of -'"an , 'Jiii; ,,, . '"Hue known to us. For further NEW FIRM IN AN OLD STAND GOOD GOODS & GREAT BARGAINS OU THE 1XEA1Y CASH I HA VINO beeotnc proprietors of the STORE R( OM nml STI IPk' fw n uiru .. i iv'vm;o i Hi nil liu lonjrinr to H. A. Shoemaker & Co., and ha vine purchased an additional STOCK OF NEW GOODS -TA" GltEAT VARIETY. we aro now prepared to supply all the old cus- TitlllKm rf I. . . 1 . . . . 4i i . .:, m in, aiiu as uiauy new ones as will patronize us, with Goods of all kinds at PRICES FULLY AS LOW as any other merchant in or out of Cambria couurj. it is our Intention to keep our Store constantly stocked with a lull and well selected assortment of DRY GOOO.S, 1RESS GOODS, FANCY GOODS, .NOTIONS, HOOTS, SHOES, II AT5. CAPS. CLOTHIN'M PillPFTs PPHVI. TURK, OJL CLOTHS. QCEENSWARE. GRO- ruiLv i'i ...... . . . . . . . . . . . . - . . iinr,., iiaiuii, UAUIA, t lSll, SALT, TU HACCO. CIGARS, iinil nil nthnr urtiiliw lunm or 6tnall, that can be found in any store of lik character iu tho county ; and as we intend to hi: LI. EXCLISIVELYlor CASH OR COUNTRY PRODUCE, and make no bad debts, wo feel sure that our siock anu our prices will not only secure but retain for us a liberal share of tatronnir EARLY VISITS FROM ONE AND ALL aro respectfully solicited, and if we fail to ren der entire satisfaction, both as regards the qual ity of our eoods and the prices asked for them, it will certainly be no fault of tho new linn at the old Mand of Shoemaker v Co., Hin street. Dou't forjfet to call and we'll not forg-et tocivo you full valuo for your monev. MYERS & LLOYD. Ebensburgr, Jan. 28, 1871.-tf. JJEMOVAL and ENLARGEMENT. COOKING STOVES, HEATING STOVES. Til COPPER & PHIS WARE. Having-recently taken possession of tho new ly fitted up and commodious building- on Hhrh street, two doors east of tho Hank and nearly opposite the Mountain House, tlu? subscriber is better prepared than ever to manufacture all artic les in the TIN, COPPER and SHEET-IRON WARE line, all of which will bo furnished to buyers at the very lowest living- prices. The subscriber also proposes to keep a full and varied assortment of Cocking, Parlor and Heating Stoves of the most approved designs. rSPOI'TING and ROOFING made to order and warranted perfect in manufacture and ma terial. REPAIRING promptly attended to. AH work done by me will lie done riirhf and on fair terms, and all STOVES and WARE sold by me can be depended upon as to quality and cannot be undersold in price. A continuance and increase of patronage is respectfully solici ted, and no effort will be wautiujf to render tu tir satisfaction to all. VA LLI E LUTRING EU. Ebcnsburg, Oct. PJ, ISTo.-tf. lilSMI FIOPE IHFBfilEH. WM. P. PATTON, Manufacturer untl Dealer lix Arx kinds of CABINET FURNITURE Nos. 150 ana 15a Cliutou Street, JUIIXSTOWX, PA. Hureaus, Rcdsteads, Washtand3, Sideboards, Chamber Sets, Parlor Sets, Wardrobes, Rook Cases, Lonnjfes, Cain Chairs, Wood Seat Chairs, Kitchen Furniture, lied Lounges, Mattresses, Tete-a-Tetes, Extension Tables, Dining Tables, Cuplx ards. &c, Jcc., &c, &c, &c. XC, iliC, XC., iC, &c, Ac. EVEKY IlESCHIlTION OF SCHOOL AND HALL FURNITURE made to order in excellent style and at low prices. Cabinet and Chairmakers' materials of all kinds for sale. Furniture delivered at any point iu Johnstown or at Railroad Station freo of extra charge. WM. P. PATTON. Johnstown, Oct.J13, 1870.-tf. O II N MALIP II ANT, Wholesalejand Retail Dealer 1 Fresn Fisli, Oysters, TegelaWes. Fruits, k, IV o, 93 Market Street, JOI1XSTOWX, I'A. Western Fish, at 8c. to 10c. per lb. Fresh Shad, at inc. per lb, or -ixc. apieee, or four for 1.00. Extra No. i Mackerel, per bbl., at H.OO Extra No. 2 Mackerel, per half bbl., at.......75 Extra No. 2 Mackerel, per quarter, at 3.75 Extra No. 2 Mackerel, per kit, at 2.00 He also keeps on hand all kinds of Vegeta bles. Fresh ISutter. etc., which he receives daily. EtfWill visit Ebensburjr, Carrolltowu and Loretto each week during the season. May 27, l71.-tf . "VALUABLE FARM NEAR LORETTO for sale:. The subscriber offers for saloon fair terms and easy payments, that most desirable and ex cellent FAltM recently occupied by him, ad joining the Horough of Loretto, containing- I IO Acrti-HKiylcrcudf which are in a g-od state of cultivation and the balance well timbered. There is a comfortable IIrwe, a good Ham, and an excellent itrcharil on the premises; also, an abundance of pure water. It is a desirable pro perty, beautifully located, and is convenient to churches, schools, market, etc. Title indispu table. For terms and other information apply to or address A. WALTKltS, Feb. ls.-tf . CarruUlown, Cambria Co., Pa. A IIDITOK'S NOTICE. In the mat- ter of the distribution of the fund in the hands of Mrs. Cecelia MoNeal, (late Cecelia Mc Gough.) Administratrix of George MeGoug-h, late of Clearfield township, doe'd, to and among the persons legally entitled to receive it, and of the except ion tiled to the second and partial ac count of said Administratrix. I hereby give """ mm., u.iy iiik m-en appointed Auditor oy the Orphans' Court of Cambria county, to dis- SKV AiV. AtK July 27, l71.-3t. DISSOLUTION TLe co-partnership MbOATMU5M?,-jU cVmttr dTv8 SrTulr,c,libAmuTK all payments mu&KTiho winh,m all the outstauding dobts of the laTe rm 1 1 Hy Ebensburg, July 27, 1871.-4it, A DMINISTUATOll'S NOTICE Estate of D. II. Robehts, dee'd. Letters of Administration on tho estate of D. II. Roberts, late of the Rorough of Ebensburg-: oec'd, having been irranted to the undersigned by the Register of Cambria county, all persons Indebted to said estate aro notified that pav ment must be made without delay, ami those having claims are requested to present them in proper shape lorittleine nt. v C. T roukrts. Administrator. Lbcnsburg-, July 20, 4s;i.-it. ii nmiti me iuntis as aioresaiu and to pass and decide upon the exceptions filed to said account, I will sit at the ollitre of Geo. M. Reade, Esq., in Et.ensburg for that purpose, on Monday: ibo I -fin lay if AuKiIH( next, at 1 o'clock p m whi n aiitl .whiiru Mil it..Vi " t! icf II - EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 10, 1871. A UUli tuat 1'JL.AYS EUCHRE. One evening a listless party were Bit ting in the main cabin of the Providence steamer Metis. A disagreeable north- wester made it unpleasant to remain on deck. A middle aged, keen-eyed, sandy haired man was the most restless indi vidual in the cabin. He appeared to be somewhat annoyed by the walking back wards and forwards of a dark-haired, fine looking young man, whose every step was followed and movements watched by a large sized spaniel poodle dog that slight ly limped with his left fore leg. The sandy-haired man finally accosted the man with the dog : 'I say, stranger, it's very dull here; can't we get up a game of euchre!" 'I don't care much about playing, sir; but my dog here plays a tolerable fair game. Perhaps he'll try a hand with you.". "No jokes, if you please ; I am an old euchre player, and very fond of the game. I once played three nights in succession with Gen. Ilillyer, and beat him two to his one," said the sandy haired man, rath er sternly. 'I am not joking, sir ; I tell j'ou hon estly that my dog can play a good game of euchre. I'll warm him up a little and show you what he can do before you play wiih him." By this time the conversation had at tracted the attention of the other passen ger?, and thoy had gathered around the dog and man. "Now, gentlemen, please to step back, so as to form a good sized ring, and we'll show some specimens of canine sagacity that may astonish you," said the owner of the dog. As soon as the ring had been made the dog man shouted : "Come, Sport, give us a walk around on your ear." Sport immediately raised himself on hi fore legs and walked around tho circle with his head close to the carpet, his lame leg giving hiia the appearance of sliding on his ear. The man next took a ten cent stamp, rolled it up into a little Dewepaper ball, made a dozen other balls of the same size and appearance, mixed them up and threw them on the carpet, "Now, Sport, pick out the one with a stamp in it." Sport immediately walked around the paper wad, looked at them eagerly, and pulled out the one with the stamp. Sport's master pulled a pack of cards about the sizo of ordinary playing cards from his pocket. Each card had a black letter printed on it. The cards were placed round in a circle, with the letter uppermost. "Sport, tell the ladies and gentlemen where you camo from this evening." Sport walked around the cards until he came to the letter P; this he took in his mouth and laid one side, and then took the letter Ii and placed bepiJe it, and so on until he had Fpelled Providence. "Sport, old fellow, where are you bound for ?" Sport spelled out New York in the same manner. The letter cards were now taken up and a pack of playing cards laid in their place. "Well, Sport, what do you say to play ing a game of euchre with this gentleman!" inquired his master. Sport didn't appear to be very eager, but hung his head a little, as if tired. "Oh, there is plenty of time ; you never retire until nine, you know. Just look at my watch." Sport jumped to his master's knees and looked at the watch which was held be fore his eyes. "Now, Sport, tell us the right time to the minute." Sport walked round the cards again and took a nine-epot in. his mouth, which he laid on one side of tho ling. Then be picked up a seven-spot and laid it a short distance from the nine-spot. He followed this up by placing a tray and ten-spot by the side of the seven. The man then showed his watch to the spec tators. It wanted just twenty minutes to nine. "Before you commence the game, Sport, I want to see whether your head is clear. Supposing you were playing a game of old sledge with Boss Tweed for a charter of railroad against a million dollars, and the game stood six to six, and it was your deal, what card would you like to turn up?" Sport walked around the ring and turned up the jack of spades. "liight, old Sport, your head is level," said his master, patting the dog fondly. Then turning to Gen. Hillyer's friend, he said : "In playing with Sport it will be neces sary for you to deal bis cards face up. This will give you an advantage. In order to make the game even deal Sport ten cards. As soon as the trump is made he will pick out five and lay the rest aside. When Sport passes he will turn one of his cards over. When he orders you up he will nod his head." Gen. Hillyer's friend agreed to the ar rangement, shuflled the cards, dealt Sport ten cards and five to himself, turning up the nine of diamonds. Sport passed and Gen. tlillyer's friend tnnV it nn S then selected the queen of diamond?, ten of diamonds, eight of diamonds, and ace ii- . and kiDg of hearts. Sport led with tha ace. Gen. Hillyer's friend followed suit and lost the trick. Sport then led the queen ; Gen. Hillyer's friend took it with the left bower. The right bower was slung at Sport ; he laid the eight spot on it. Taking the trick, Gen. Hillyer's friend laid down the nine spot, Sport took it with the ten. The dog then shoved the king of hearts at Hillyer's friend, who had to hand over the queen of clubs, with the exclamation ; "Euchred, as sure as fate, by a poodle!" Two more hands were played, Sport winning the game. "Now," said the owner of the dog, "lie down and rest, Sport ; you have done no bly." The dog lay down with outstretched and stifiened legs, as if he were dead. His master first pulled one leg and then another, then pushed and shoved him about, but he gave no signs of life. Sud denly he sung out : "Sport, you rascal, you have been gambling ; here comes the police." Sport was olf like a shot for the for ward end of the cabin. A man that witnessed these wonderful tricks could detect no signals between the dog and his master. Sport appeared to do everything from the working of his own brains. His master's name is It. M. Dodd. He stated that he was a drug clerk in Williamsburg, and had spent three years in educating Sport. Sport is seven years of age. N. Y. Sun, TIie Darned Man." The people of the northern towns of lihode Island, says the Providence Press, have boon for many years familiar with the venerable form of an itinerant known to old and young as the "Darned man," and only to a very few by any other name. For a season or two past he has been missed from his accustomed routes, and there is no doubt that his earthly pilgrim age is over. Of the quiet life and un heralded death of this strange personage but little can now be known. If the history of his youth was important it is irreclaimably lost hidden within the arcana of the churchyard. Those who are aged themselves, tell us of the great age of this wanderer, and say they re member him looking almost tho same as at the laet of his pilgrimage while they were yet only boys. By them it is claimed that he was not less than ninety years old, and from iLe scanty details of their gossip we learn what we know of his sin gular lite. When a young man he was engaged to be married, and on his wedding day he attired himself for the ceremonies, when word came to him that his affianced had been sdJJenly taken away by death. The blow was too much for a sensitive organ ization ; his mind was disordered, and be came ''like sweet bells jangled out of tune, and he began thoso singular wan derings which were only terminated by death. - But he wore his wedding suit ever afterward. Starting from the west ern part ot the State of New York, he included in his regular route certain roads across the northern part of this State, and parties along the line of his chosen path were accustomed twice a year, at the same season, to expect his tall and slender form habited over in the same suit of gray. Constant exposure to tho elements and his unremitting travel wore out the fabric of his marriage suit, and he would stop and ask of those who treated him kindly for the only article which he ever begged thread and yarn to mend his clothes, when he would sit down in the house, take oil" bis coat, and proceed to darn the wornout garment with his trembling fingers. As years passed on, the repairs to which his garments were subjected so altered and covered up the originals that no one could tell of what color they bad once been. The life ho led was a harmless one, and children never ran from him in fear. True to the object of his ear ly affection, after time had whitened bis hair and shrivelled bis once handsome form, as in that hopeful hour of promise, he patiently travelled his weary round, which ended, we trust, where "Sweet fields beyond the swelling flood (Stand dressed in living green." His name was Addison. Taken Aback The Ilondout Free man 6ay : "A couple of our young men went out to Momboscus, visiting, the other day. On the road they came across a young rustic with a handsome maiden by his side, driving leisurely along. Our bloods went fur him, and having a good stepper soon passed him, when turning around to have a view, the fresh young girl's cheeks (so unlike our housed-up Tillies) took the young men by storm. Out came their pocket-handkerchiefs for a flirtation. They were, however, some what taken aback when the rustic, with a cool business air, called out, 4Hey, mister, how much a pound do you ask for your rags, We dou't pay but three cents here.' " A farmer's daughter in this State was visited by a rustic youngster, who, finding it difficult to keep up the conver sation, asked the girl, after an embarras sing Bilence had prevailed for some time, if she knew of anybody that wanted to buy a shirt f "No I don't," she replied, "have you one to sell?" "O no," said he, "I only asked to make talk !" JOSH UlLLiIXGS' PAPERS. THE TALLER DOG. Dogs hav infested this world just about az long az man haz, and will hang around it, az long az thare is etiny grizzle left on a bone"! We hav no reliable ackount ov the fust dog, and probably 6hant hav ov the final one. If Adam kept a tarrier, or Eve a poo dle, the laps of ages have wabhed away the fakt. If Noah had a pair ov each breed ov dogs, on board ov hiz vessell, and only one pair ov fleas, he waz well ont for dogs, and poor ont for fleas, But history iz numb on this subjekt. Esaw waz a mity hunter, but wether he k,ept a houn, or followed the cent him self, iz az ded, and departed to us, az the chirp ov the fust reliable cricket. We read that Esaw sold out hiz birth rite for soup, and menny wonder at hiz extravagance, but Esaw diskovered arly, what menny a man haz diskovered since, that it iz hard work tew live on a pedi gree. If i was starving, I wouldn't hesitate tew swap oph all the pedigree I had, and all mi relashuns had, for a quart of pot tage, and throw in a couple ov graie grandfathers into the bargain. Thare iz only one thing that kan beat hunger, and that iz avarice, i hav known avarice tew starve hunger to death and then die too, leaving one dollar more, for some rollicking nephew tew invest, in sherry cobblers, and cigars. But later along the turnpike ov time, the dog cums in lor hiz reckord, and we read that Ackteon, waz et by hiz canibal pups, and in that most wonderful ov all conceptionp, the Odysse, we kati almcst feel the lick on our own band, that the faithful Anjo gave to Ulysses, after twen ty years ov abscence, and cab almost see tho blear eyed old staghoun, wag hiz last tail, and then lay down at the feet ov hiz master and di. Faithful old dog, yu alone ov all the rest, no artifice could deceive. But i don't Intend this essa for dogs in the lump, but for the individual yeller dog himself. The yeller dog haz no pedigree, the blood in hiz veins iz az kurdo az petrole um, when it fust cums pumping out ov the earth, bitter, thick, and fiery. He iz long, and lazily put together, hiz ears flop when he shacks along the dusty thoroughfare, and hiz tail iz a bur den. Thare iz no animashun in a yeller dog's tail, it is useless, the flies aint even afraid ov it, it iz wuss than a 10 per cent mort gage tew the rest ov hiz boddy. Whi the yeller dog aint born diskount ed, iz a mistery tew me, but when i ask miself, "whare would yu hitch tho tin pan to," then at once the folly ov a bob tailed yeller dog, flashes on mi mind. Ever since this ktntinent waz found bi Christopher Columbus, in 1492, and for what i kno, much time previous tew that, the yeller dog haz been a vagrant, travel ling bi moon lite, and hungry bi nature. Whare he cums from noboddy seems to know, and if yu speak a kind word tew him, he thinks it a kite in disguise, and straddling hiz tail, with both hind legs, ho goes suspicious, and sideways, on his lonesum jurney. Mankind hav made him a vagabond, and life to him iz made up ov starvashun and brickbats. If he cums out ov hiz lurking place in the hot ov august, he iz a ''mad dcj, and the common council at onco assemble, the riot act iz read, 50 dollars reward iz offer ed, men cum panting into town, crieing "mad dog" their two horse waggon waz bit that morning bi a yeller dog, the fury rages, old guns are kleaned up, the cannon iz run out on the village green, dames talk to dames ov the awful event, men look sober and defiant, boys pocket their mar bles in the midst ov the game, pigs run squealing tew their hovels, and the whole boddy polilik surges with horror. The poor innocent whelp haz done hiz worst, and while a whole village iz in the extacys ov hydrophobia, he has passed on, and may be seen, tugging away, in the subburbs, at the shin bone ov a departed omnibus boss. The yeller dog " haz but one friend amung men, and that iz the darkey. A common misfortune links them to gether. Why iz it, that the old negro, and hiz yeller dog, are vagabonds on the face ov the earth T Mans inhumanity iz wuts than the malice ov wild beasts. A day ov reckoning will cum, a day ov judgmeut, and I kant tell but what the yeller dog will be thare; a mute witness, and then, and thare, will tho grate prob lem be solved. This wurld is phull ov grate wrongs, and the next one will az certainly be az phull ov grate retribushuns. I kant endure the sight ov oppreshun, it disgraces mi manhood. If i had money enuff t would like tew buy even all the yeller dogs thare iz now on the buzzum ov the earthy and make them retpekted and happy. But I baint got the money, never shall hav, but az long az i hav strength tew steer a gooze quill, and blood enuff in mi heart for ink, i will bid mankind beware ov oppreshun, i dont kare whether it is in hi places, or low, the oppreshun ov caste, the enprcshun ov wealth, or cveu the low, and degrading oppreshun, ov a tin pale, in hot pursuit, ov the friendless, yelping, yeller dog. Yeller dogs will sumtime, and sura whare, hav their day, and when the huge piles ov brikbats, and mountains ov old ware, cums into court, i want tew be thare, for i am anxious tew know what the line ov defence will be. Twelve by Hie Cloclt AmusJus Scene In Ccurt. About twenty years ago, when Frank lin Pierce and the present Senator Clark stood at the head of the Hillsborough bar, in New Ilamsphire, there was upon the docket a celebrated suit called the "horse case." The action was brought by Smith & Jones, livery-stable keepers, against one White, to recover the value of a pair of horses alleged to have been killed by the defendent while conveying an insane man to the asylum at Concotd. There was plenty of proof that the horses died soot; after their arrival there ; but the defendant took the ground that they died of disease ; and not by being overheated, and that a sufficient time had been allow ed them to travel that distance with ease. Then it became necessary to ehow the jury the time of starting and the time of arrival. Many citizens were brought for ward, among them a tall, bony, slab sided, lanky, sleepy iooking fellow, who officia ted as hostler at the stable. The follow ing is the substance of the concluding por tion of the examination. "What time, sir, did I understand you tb say it was when the horses were driven up to the fetable ?" "Just as I was going to dinner," "What time was it when you went to dinner that day by the clock ?" "Just 12i" " "To a minute, sir !' "Yes, bir." "What time was it when you went to dinner the day before by the clock?" "Just 12." "To a minute !" "Yes sir V "And what time dil yoti go to dinner a week previous by the clock !" "At 12." "To a minute, sir !" "Yes, sir." "Now, sir, will you be good enough to tell the jury what time you went to diuuer three months before the last date by the clock P "At 12." "To a minute t" Yes, Fir." "That is all, sir," replied the counsel, with a gleam of satisfaction on his face and a glance at the jury, as much as to say : "that man has settled his testimony, gentlemen." And so all thought till, just as he was leaving the stand, ha turned to his questioner with a curious, comical expression on his face, and drawled out : That'ere clock was out o kilter, and has ptopped at 12 for the las six months." There was a general roar. Mr. Clark sat down, and the judge had to use his hand kerchief just then. Not tfie Fellow. The other morn ing an eldetly gentleman started to walk up the C. & P. railroad track, from Bel laire to West Wheeling. In the neigh borhood of Whiskey run he came across three rough looking young men who were sitting on the end of the ties of the road taking consolation and fusil oil by word of mouth out of a gallon jug. As our friend passed them, a youth of eighteen, hailed him with, "Here, daddy, come and get a drink." He was informed that hysting benzine was not one of the old man's accomplishment but he was not to be put of! in that way. Advancing with a volley of oaths fly ing from bis mouth, he informed the old gentleman that he must drink or take a whipping. Just as the ruffian got within striking distance of our old friend, the latter drew a revolver, which he cocked and held full in the face of the drunken rowdy. To say that the rough stopped doesn't half tell it. He could not have stopped more suddenly if lightning bad struck him. 'Don't shoot, old fellow," he stam mered, as he recovered from his astonish ment. "I meant it all in friendship." "D n your friendship I" shouted the old fellow, now thoroughly excited. "Go get that jug and bring it here, or I'll blow you to kingdom come iu a minute." The completely cowed ruffian obeyed. As he brought the jug full of liquor the old man said : 'Now break it on that railroad tie. Break it !" he 6houted. "Break it quick, or " before he had time to finish the sentence the jug was in a thousand pieces. "Now, you infernal, darned mean cuss, get down on your knees and apologize, or I'll make your head like a pepper-box top" The fellow hesitated ; but looking into the old man's eyes, saw that he meant business, and dropping on his knees in the snow, abjectly apologized for the outrage. Thinking him sufficiently punished, the old man walked peacefully on his way As he went up the track ho hoard one of the fellows Call out to the other : "I say, Bill, that ain't the man you were looking for, is it ?" Win is buttermilk like something which never happened ? Because it hasn't a curd (occurred. NUMBER 27. MIL JJOSCJVITO. Mopquitoes vary in siz as much as pd tatoes, but averuge well in this region. They are built on the same plan as the elephant (only a trifle htnallerj having plenty of legs, a bob tail, with a trunk or bill on the front eud of them. Their body is all stomach, and their trunk i a suction pump, gimblct-pointed, and hard as Damascus steel. They are a bird of song, although Audubou classes them strictly a game bird, but he was liable to mistakes as well as the telegraph. In these parts they go wild while in some States they are utilized for labor. In some parts of New Jersey where the soil is so thin that horses and oxen caunot bo worked with safety lest they break through; they are used for farm purposes; three pair of full-blood Jersey mosquitoes being considered equal to a tandem team of two geese, or ona middling-sizid goat. We know this to be a fact, having fre quently geen the farmers thera plowing and doing other work with above named labor saving machines. Down south wheu a vessel is ready for planking, the planks are laid on to the timbers and a Utile blood rubbed on ;o the insida of them, when tho mosquitoes will sting through the plank aud timber, and the men iiibMe will rivet up their bills and thus save bolts and treenails. A well-built vessel, mo?q jito fastened, is considered a GiBt class jub. Mosquitoes round in these parts arc a trifle smaller than a humming bird, nd as musical as a sewing machine. Ther are more plea&ing moments in a man's Ufa than those in which he lies in bed on a 6ultry night, and listens to tLo mosq jitoes warbling in the distance, and hears them approaching the bed humming over the familiar 6ong of "Fe. Fi, Fo, Futn, I smell the blood of an Englishman," and know that he is the person meant. He does not take hold of much solid comfort, as aloufc a dizen of them light m him with a "ziz," 6et their drills and com mence boring for his blood. He can't drivo thorn away, ho can't go away him self: He may slat round and Bwear as muc'a as ha will. But the pesky mosquito will linger there Btil Sting-lapping his ekia with a blood long bill. And there it wiL sit till it has guzzled a gill or thereabouts. For real pleasure we would prefer sleeping iu a bee-Live to undertaking to bottle up sleep in the midst of a swarm of mosquitoes. In this connection we can not help quoting the lines of Dr. Watts, commencing : When we've tried all the week to be good. How pleasant on Saturday eight To tit up till morning iu bed, TLe co-founded niGSTiuitues to fight. A mosquitoe's stomach will stretch lika a government contractor's conscience. A common sied "skeet" will hold a half pint of blood, and wheh a person is vic timized by a swarm of a hundred thous and or so, tapping him indifferent place?, It is easy to see that there is qita a draiu on his system. As songsters they are equal, if not superior to the mule or shang hai. We hear of a chap who, on enter ing his room in a boarding house in Brook lyn, heard some one sirging, and on lighting tha gap, Le espied a mofqiito sitting on a match sailing round in tho wash-bowl, tinging, "A Life on ih i Oct an Wave." But this was an exceptional case. We shall not attempt a joke on the mosquito's bill, as that subject has been handled about as much as it will be, and we dou't know that we owe them any thing, as it is always our intention to can cel our acvount at the time. If there is one satisfaction that is at least ten feet ahead of any other satisfaction, it is to enter your sleeping room on the window Fills and chairs, and to then and there disrobe, crnwl into bed, beneath a good bar, lie there and hear them cuss and swear outside the net. We consider that the most satisfactory thing it is pos sible to conceive. And while we ura mentioning the thing, we would suggest the arrangement of mosquito bars and nets in the windows, as we can never tell when we are liable !o have the itch, or be favored with mosquitoes. There are peo ple who consider that mo?quitoes are madd in vain, but to our mind?, if nature ever got up anything that was a perfect success, it was when the mosquito was produced. If they were made for any thing it was to bite, and as a bitist wo would like to see one's equal. A". T. Argus. A Dandy's Picttre. Tho effeminate man ; says Figaro, is a weak poultice. lie is a poultice between table-beer and g!nger-pop, with the cork left out ; a fresh water mermaid found in a cow-palure with her hands filled with dandelions. He is a tea-cup full of syllabub ; a kitten in treusers; a eick monkey with a blonde moustache. He is a vine without any tendrils ; a fly drowned in oil ; a paper kite in a dead calm. He lives liktt a butterfly nobody can tell why. He is as harmless as a penny-worth of sugar: candy, and as useless as a shirt-button without a hole. He is as lazy as a slug, and has no more hope than a last year's summer fly. He goes through life on tip toe, and dies like cologne-water spilt over tho ground. "Octavis, my love," said a younqj bride, "what tmike3 the canary sleep on one leg ?" "I don't think anything makes him: I think he dwes it of his own free will aud accord."
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