LU
t " ' 7 1 1 ' 1 p mm iiiiiiib inimi i , , M M . t
K'I,ir' Vmr 1Ubllfclle HE IS A FEEE11AN 'WHOM THE TRUTH MAKES FREE, AND ALL ARE SLAVES BESIDE. "
:rzzz.- . . ; Terms, pcr year In advance.
I-
il.j
'4
of
:c. !
T. (
Or
'9
VOLUME 5
ACADEMIA, PA.
Inntf'mber flth.
1 P he-itlinil.nuriicuvcan.
KCil ikveh.pinent. 1- rce
J well adapted
i from loailnir
, infiitiii. urn moron.
' 1 , iu )) voting men have hero teen pre-
,r Coll'-i' or business.
uiuJoruto. Apply for terms to
- D. L). STONE, A.M.
J. J. PATTERSON, A.M.
r ' Wiitiit f"r tho year just ended is 2.V
JtlK' i.i f(.. i Viii tiii II M ioa o clear nun tits
. liii l.i.ill I'Ell CKXT. A VC1II.
;iui.''UKi';s
-UK siLE. acres superior White Oak
F runEK IsikI. n,-'ar J- k Haven, I'a. 5,ti0
r HryiucKTiMHEit lar'd. Potter Co., Pa. I.
j'BaU"EK- UeoloffUt Eng'r, Pottsrillc, Pa.
PPFR aide bTh:
LLLlti Uierl.cv
Tliis wholesome, agreea-
1 refreshing sum-
verage can be easi-
.j-est altut 5 vv rJin, with
3t',nAi ii Mii.lkk's (ienuiuo Root Reer
; fur it at vour store, or send 25
i,:'-.f. r s'vinl mid directions to 4U0 XortU Third
l;tt. l'ii.lu'ieli'iiia.
i tEKTS WAMED for lite
A TRANSMISSION OF LIFE.
fOH-FL-lONTIlE X ATl'ItlS AND IIVCIENEOF
,4 J'I.j '. Ki'iiI liffnf ll'ftiriTtt " It ro.
To fif' iJCif .v .t , isiuu ui new latis; ucn-
' but (uit-poken ; practical and ppular;
r,,ufl (-iiiv. c.xciusive irrriiory. At'rnis
I'rio $2. AtMress for content?, etc.,
V FIIi-iL'S i CO., Publishers, I'hiladelpbia.
AGENTS! READ THIS!
WE M.I. I'M AUKSTS A nALAlt I
trsi ' w a br.'O couiuiission to bell our new and
jrir-'ui iiiventions. Address M. WAUNEH
iiU..Mjr;hall, Mich.
1,003
RAVD (ilFT CO('ERT kuI Dlstrl-
4 ::u.-u fur tho Uoneflt of the
: :CtTof vr Torlr, and SOLDI ILHS' and
i!LOi:S ORrUAXb1 HOME, Washington. D.
;.: bs!i;jut Wa.iiinjfton, I. C, uuder and
rnueut a permit from Hon. Cominissionr
::-Ainai Itvunue, ou ThliisDay.Jlly 27th,
v.H'iy.
i:": Concert, tho Commissioners will
t.i the successful ticket-holders.
1.503 GIFTS AMOUNTING TO $200,000.
UOtiO Ti. kfto only will be sold, ar fe3 each.
n il..M. Ci t.i.n . in, of Elkton, Md., Major
.T.LAfTi.E. Ikiitimore. Aid., Commissioners.
,B n.JiS. b. NEGI.3Y, II. C, Pittsburgh, Pa,,
J.-fiK.-P!: Major-Con. D. Hur.ter. U, R. A.,
i-:...ian. ii. i.: lion. jas. s. .eeley, Pitts
va.ld.: First National Hank, Haentown,
: A...ei:ian - Co., Ilatikers. Har-rstowu ;
;::t-,Ta2 A. Sr.iis, Haaertown: Hon. R. J .
t--.:.uxp Att..niey-(ieneriil. lialt iiuor ; C. F.
it.K'j.,a P.O. Ave.. lialtimora; John II.
:.er. L-i V. H. Mich, of w u vivu. jt-
C-E-tch.iiiiio Place, llaltiinore.
l'-? uf thu Iteal Estate, certified to by
in the handA of tho Trustee.
A.... ' ' ' inn utr unu Ul a . v
. ..r.,'',jel' l Atent, Stationor and Printer.
'"ji .Naau Mreet. New York. Tickets f-r-nt
jU O., if iit.?ire.l. (Jend for Circular, contain
ifCU'1.""1 "f rrize. Tickets for Fain also
H-ILEV 4 SAU'iENT, at their Neva Stands.
' P,:i. Harrihurgh. Pittburffh. &c, and
r.ect feana. ltailroad and tonuectious.
spacer
Advertising.
i l Efk cf closely printed pnsres, lately 1s
Ht?;!ln:.a lit .,f.the best American Ad-
:iu''u .ful!,l!:'r.t'eiilar conceniin- the lead
vf ""' aud Week I v l'..liii.l ,.,;.
i .if-nuiii. iriViiiB' tti tin nes. eiriilx.
Lr:."F.'r'r t'-'-tlK-r" with all those liavin)?
tiui i! ' puriihed m the interest of
i ,,., . "oure, j.nerature, Arc. tivery
U,'r.'.'.n!.'r,i'"i ov,'' ,v person who contemplate!)
'iit
' to aM v H,lllres! on receipt of
T- TV , " 1'ark Uow' Xew York.
V,i' -., i - ,,lr,'h 1!l I-'Mler, in its issue of
'"' .",;" SIVS : The linn of G. I. HowelliA:
" llsM" sthis interesting and valuable
P ir'ti !Hr,ff'?t i,n,l best Advertising Affen
"p J, !' (t tiiteo, and we ean cheerfully
Ku "'"'to thattentioii of those who de
ci , L. v,'rt"" their btisiness seicn I ilieally
(.aitV,"ali,Hl,v ineueh away: that is,
' :; i7 ,r ,he lnrfest amount of publicity
"CJtutt expenditure of money."
ILpoiTTHisT!
Usv,, stn(c Owners.
n ; "nttnd into nartnershin. the snh.
rlv .. ,; ! "ow prepared to do all kind of
' 'I-r.'i' r"'r Fu'" lis I'orinsr tor WATER,
W,u ' x "thor MINERALS, mak-
vv,. -i-i .Mrs huu repairing oll
yl'II't-V """ "o ready at all times to lion-and
C '." . ''1!,n,,,i,(-'' "re and put in position
mi, T'1 hX(-'K'lolt PI MP, the cheap-f-i,r,
i .'n'1 lle and satisfactory Pump for
.rk m c ,','r,.'s now in ,,sf"- 1'his Pump will
1 k. . ,. ' " "'""'J' feet deep. We will at all
i' Mjitmvof- 1 1..... i,,.,,,.
lorn- "'nuc nuuwn xo
Jlu"inuutall on nrn.lilrou
Trt. X.m '''r4 X K. ' t'EIGnXEIt,
Carrolltown, Cambria Co., Pa.
.T'VTT.',C T.I - f X r -r -r r-.
TO R N EY-AT-1 AAA
1IOLLIDAYSnUP.G. PA.
r'afm- S" .""' "tion Riven to the H.IWHon
Itntre n. -'"".J'ria, IIiintinKdon. Bedford.
irti.. ; VVrneia counties. '
, lease. 6ell
: trreatly to
i mo
. - --ii. .-- ."((HCU Jl uti-
J.T. uVv i 1-V.,'lli! 1'hilad.l
EAL E&TATEagenot
CEO. W. OATMAN 8l CO
c OlJice iu oIonule Row. "
: '-' M,'',r,al ?i?r.ties w'sh to secure Flouses in Eb-,.-,l'r-
at fair rents.
'iiv!SCS an'f I0,s Hre for ront c fair terms.
Wf)rrertW8cril'tionm,d price of whut you
Tv'.T11"1 kind of a House or nouso
Jhn t ITH'l? secure as a tenant.
jou wih to sell, or do you wish to buy ?
8KB ITS AT OXCE!
I'-'tivi , tr,ms aro reasonable for all service
oh?.,.,.',;" Hunters, wee "iteal Estate
-r?.ATMA: &
60. w. O ATM AN & CO., Attor.
ThI.eniT;L.y,W' Kbenshurp, Cambria Co.,
r iii.'.0 r'ctlc,"rf notes and bills, whethei
wstrtue, will receiv prompt attention.
'I)
' SCA'EAN, Atloninj-at-Law,
l't ffliT11' Cam," i Co- I'a. All man
t iT" attended to promptly and
' koUcctiuas a specialty.
v-tual Fire Insurance Co.,
j,tl k. lis- hcen oiny business thirty
!' j i'ui s it hm laid no assessmont9,
;vVi,'raVi'r;!i;e rate of assessment during tho
Ul't!(-M i; "I' or iurnisn ilium on Wiort
,r' "of w! it ,,u naranteed in quality and
!:r"t(,f tr 'Z, '"ld W,ltr insured on any farm
tt"i.i; ,! , riers soliciteil and pi ompt
"ik.i ., when lontrth of Pump or kind of
-'"an ,
'Jiii; ,,, . '"Hue known to us. For further
NEW FIRM IN AN OLD STAND
GOOD GOODS & GREAT BARGAINS
OU THE 1XEA1Y CASH I
HA VINO beeotnc proprietors of the STORE
R( OM nml STI IPk' fw n uiru .. i
iv'vm;o i Hi nil liu
lonjrinr to H. A. Shoemaker & Co., and ha vine
purchased an additional
STOCK OF NEW GOODS
-TA" GltEAT VARIETY.
we aro now prepared to supply all the old cus-
TitlllKm rf I. . . 1 . . . . 4i i .
.:, m in, aiiu as uiauy new ones
as will patronize us, with Goods of all kinds at
PRICES FULLY AS LOW
as any other merchant in or out of Cambria
couurj. it is our Intention to keep our Store
constantly stocked with a lull and well selected
assortment of DRY GOOO.S, 1RESS GOODS,
FANCY GOODS, .NOTIONS, HOOTS, SHOES,
II AT5. CAPS. CLOTHIN'M PillPFTs PPHVI.
TURK, OJL CLOTHS. QCEENSWARE. GRO-
ruiLv i'i ...... . . . . . . . . . . . . - . .
iinr,., iiaiuii, UAUIA, t lSll, SALT, TU
HACCO. CIGARS, iinil nil nthnr urtiiliw lunm
or 6tnall, that can be found in any store of lik
character iu tho county ; and as we intend to
hi: LI. EXCLISIVELYlor CASH
OR COUNTRY PRODUCE,
and make no bad debts, wo feel sure that our
siock anu our prices will not only secure but
retain for us a liberal share of tatronnir
EARLY VISITS FROM ONE AND ALL
aro respectfully solicited, and if we fail to ren
der entire satisfaction, both as regards the qual
ity of our eoods and the prices asked for them,
it will certainly be no fault of tho new linn at
the old Mand of Shoemaker v Co., Hin street.
Dou't forjfet to call and we'll not forg-et tocivo
you full valuo for your monev.
MYERS & LLOYD.
Ebensburgr, Jan. 28, 1871.-tf.
JJEMOVAL and ENLARGEMENT.
COOKING STOVES,
HEATING STOVES.
Til COPPER & PHIS WARE.
Having-recently taken possession of tho new
ly fitted up and commodious building- on Hhrh
street, two doors east of tho Hank and nearly
opposite the Mountain House, tlu? subscriber is
better prepared than ever to manufacture all
artic les in the TIN, COPPER and SHEET-IRON
WARE line, all of which will bo furnished to
buyers at the very lowest living- prices.
The subscriber also proposes to keep a full
and varied assortment of
Cocking, Parlor and Heating Stoves
of the most approved designs.
rSPOI'TING and ROOFING made to order
and warranted perfect in manufacture and ma
terial. REPAIRING promptly attended to.
AH work done by me will lie done riirhf and
on fair terms, and all STOVES and WARE sold
by me can be depended upon as to quality and
cannot be undersold in price. A continuance
and increase of patronage is respectfully solici
ted, and no effort will be wautiujf to render tu
tir satisfaction to all.
VA LLI E LUTRING EU.
Ebcnsburg, Oct. PJ, ISTo.-tf.
lilSMI FIOPE IHFBfilEH.
WM. P. PATTON,
Manufacturer untl Dealer lix
Arx kinds of
CABINET FURNITURE
Nos. 150 ana 15a Cliutou Street,
JUIIXSTOWX, PA.
Hureaus,
Rcdsteads,
Washtand3,
Sideboards,
Chamber Sets,
Parlor Sets,
Wardrobes,
Rook Cases,
Lonnjfes,
Cain Chairs,
Wood Seat Chairs,
Kitchen Furniture,
lied Lounges,
Mattresses,
Tete-a-Tetes,
Extension Tables,
Dining Tables,
Cuplx ards.
&c, Jcc., &c, &c, &c.
XC, iliC, XC., iC, &c, Ac.
EVEKY IlESCHIlTION OF
SCHOOL AND HALL FURNITURE
made to order in excellent style and at low
prices. Cabinet and Chairmakers' materials of
all kinds for sale. Furniture delivered at any
point iu Johnstown or at Railroad Station freo
of extra charge. WM. P. PATTON.
Johnstown, Oct.J13, 1870.-tf.
O II N MALIP II ANT,
Wholesalejand Retail Dealer 1
Fresn Fisli, Oysters, TegelaWes. Fruits, k,
IV o, 93 Market Street,
JOI1XSTOWX, I'A.
Western Fish, at 8c. to 10c. per lb.
Fresh Shad, at inc. per lb,
or -ixc. apieee, or four for 1.00.
Extra No. i Mackerel, per bbl., at H.OO
Extra No. 2 Mackerel, per half bbl., at.......75
Extra No. 2 Mackerel, per quarter, at 3.75
Extra No. 2 Mackerel, per kit, at 2.00
He also keeps on hand all kinds of Vegeta
bles. Fresh ISutter. etc., which he receives daily.
EtfWill visit Ebensburjr, Carrolltowu and
Loretto each week during the season.
May 27, l71.-tf .
"VALUABLE FARM NEAR LORETTO
for sale:.
The subscriber offers for saloon fair terms
and easy payments, that most desirable and ex
cellent FAltM recently occupied by him, ad
joining the Horough of Loretto, containing- I IO
Acrti-HKiylcrcudf which are in a g-od state
of cultivation and the balance well timbered.
There is a comfortable IIrwe, a good Ham, and
an excellent itrcharil on the premises; also, an
abundance of pure water. It is a desirable pro
perty, beautifully located, and is convenient to
churches, schools, market, etc. Title indispu
table. For terms and other information apply
to or address A. WALTKltS,
Feb. ls.-tf . CarruUlown, Cambria Co., Pa.
A IIDITOK'S NOTICE. In the mat-
ter of the distribution of the fund in the
hands of Mrs. Cecelia MoNeal, (late Cecelia Mc
Gough.) Administratrix of George MeGoug-h,
late of Clearfield township, doe'd, to and among
the persons legally entitled to receive it, and of
the except ion tiled to the second and partial ac
count of said Administratrix. I hereby give
""" mm., u.iy iiik m-en appointed Auditor oy
the Orphans' Court of Cambria county, to dis-
SKV AiV. AtK
July 27, l71.-3t.
DISSOLUTION TLe co-partnership
MbOATMU5M?,-jU
cVmttr dTv8 SrTulr,c,libAmuTK
all payments mu&KTiho winh,m
all the outstauding dobts of the laTe rm 1 1 Hy
Ebensburg, July 27, 1871.-4it,
A DMINISTUATOll'S NOTICE
Estate of D. II. Robehts, dee'd.
Letters of Administration on tho estate of D.
II. Roberts, late of the Rorough of Ebensburg-:
oec'd, having been irranted to the undersigned
by the Register of Cambria county, all persons
Indebted to said estate aro notified that pav
ment must be made without delay, ami those
having claims are requested to present them in
proper shape lorittleine nt.
v C. T roukrts. Administrator.
Lbcnsburg-, July 20, 4s;i.-it.
ii nmiti me iuntis as aioresaiu and to pass and
decide upon the exceptions filed to said account,
I will sit at the ollitre of Geo. M. Reade, Esq., in
Et.ensburg for that purpose, on Monday: ibo
I -fin lay if AuKiIH( next, at 1 o'clock p m
whi n aiitl .whiiru Mil it..Vi " t! icf
II -
EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 10, 1871.
A UUli tuat 1'JL.AYS EUCHRE.
One evening a listless party were Bit
ting in the main cabin of the Providence
steamer Metis. A disagreeable north-
wester made it unpleasant to remain on
deck. A middle aged, keen-eyed, sandy
haired man was the most restless indi
vidual in the cabin. He appeared to be
somewhat annoyed by the walking back
wards and forwards of a dark-haired, fine
looking young man, whose every step was
followed and movements watched by a
large sized spaniel poodle dog that slight
ly limped with his left fore leg. The
sandy-haired man finally accosted the man
with the dog :
'I say, stranger, it's very dull here;
can't we get up a game of euchre!"
'I don't care much about playing, sir;
but my dog here plays a tolerable fair
game. Perhaps he'll try a hand with
you.".
"No jokes, if you please ; I am an old
euchre player, and very fond of the game.
I once played three nights in succession
with Gen. Ilillyer, and beat him two to
his one," said the sandy haired man, rath
er sternly.
'I am not joking, sir ; I tell j'ou hon
estly that my dog can play a good game
of euchre. I'll warm him up a little and
show you what he can do before you play
wiih him."
By this time the conversation had at
tracted the attention of the other passen
ger?, and thoy had gathered around the
dog and man.
"Now, gentlemen, please to step back,
so as to form a good sized ring, and we'll
show some specimens of canine sagacity
that may astonish you," said the owner
of the dog.
As soon as the ring had been made the
dog man shouted :
"Come, Sport, give us a walk around
on your ear."
Sport immediately raised himself on
hi fore legs and walked around tho circle
with his head close to the carpet, his lame
leg giving hiia the appearance of sliding
on his ear.
The man next took a ten cent stamp,
rolled it up into a little Dewepaper ball,
made a dozen other balls of the same size
and appearance, mixed them up and threw
them on the carpet,
"Now, Sport, pick out the one with a
stamp in it."
Sport immediately walked around the
paper wad, looked at them eagerly, and
pulled out the one with the stamp.
Sport's master pulled a pack of cards
about the sizo of ordinary playing cards
from his pocket. Each card had a black
letter printed on it. The cards were
placed round in a circle, with the letter
uppermost.
"Sport, tell the ladies and gentlemen
where you camo from this evening."
Sport walked around the cards until he
came to the letter P; this he took in his
mouth and laid one side, and then took
the letter Ii and placed bepiJe it, and so
on until he had Fpelled Providence.
"Sport, old fellow, where are you
bound for ?"
Sport spelled out New York in the
same manner.
The letter cards were now taken up
and a pack of playing cards laid in their
place.
"Well, Sport, what do you say to play
ing a game of euchre with this gentleman!"
inquired his master.
Sport didn't appear to be very eager,
but hung his head a little, as if tired.
"Oh, there is plenty of time ; you never
retire until nine, you know. Just look
at my watch."
Sport jumped to his master's knees and
looked at the watch which was held be
fore his eyes.
"Now, Sport, tell us the right time to
the minute."
Sport walked round the cards again
and took a nine-epot in. his mouth, which
he laid on one side of tho ling. Then
be picked up a seven-spot and laid it a
short distance from the nine-spot. He
followed this up by placing a tray and
ten-spot by the side of the seven. The
man then showed his watch to the spec
tators. It wanted just twenty minutes
to nine.
"Before you commence the game, Sport,
I want to see whether your head is clear.
Supposing you were playing a game of
old sledge with Boss Tweed for a charter
of railroad against a million dollars, and
the game stood six to six, and it was your
deal, what card would you like to turn
up?"
Sport walked around the ring and
turned up the jack of spades.
"liight, old Sport, your head is level,"
said his master, patting the dog fondly.
Then turning to Gen. Hillyer's friend,
he said :
"In playing with Sport it will be neces
sary for you to deal bis cards face up.
This will give you an advantage. In
order to make the game even deal Sport
ten cards. As soon as the trump is made
he will pick out five and lay the rest aside.
When Sport passes he will turn one of his
cards over. When he orders you up he
will nod his head."
Gen. Hillyer's friend agreed to the ar
rangement, shuflled the cards, dealt Sport
ten cards and five to himself, turning up
the nine of diamonds. Sport passed and
Gen. tlillyer's friend tnnV it nn S
then selected the queen of diamond?, ten
of diamonds, eight of diamonds, and ace
ii- .
and kiDg of hearts.
Sport led with tha
ace. Gen. Hillyer's friend followed suit
and lost the trick. Sport then led the
queen ; Gen. Hillyer's friend took it with
the left bower. The right bower was
slung at Sport ; he laid the eight spot on
it. Taking the trick, Gen. Hillyer's
friend laid down the nine spot, Sport took
it with the ten. The dog then shoved the
king of hearts at Hillyer's friend, who had
to hand over the queen of clubs, with the
exclamation ;
"Euchred, as sure as fate, by a poodle!"
Two more hands were played, Sport
winning the game.
"Now," said the owner of the dog, "lie
down and rest, Sport ; you have done no
bly." The dog lay down with outstretched
and stifiened legs, as if he were dead.
His master first pulled one leg and then
another, then pushed and shoved him
about, but he gave no signs of life. Sud
denly he sung out :
"Sport, you rascal, you have been
gambling ; here comes the police."
Sport was olf like a shot for the for
ward end of the cabin.
A man that witnessed these wonderful
tricks could detect no signals between the
dog and his master. Sport appeared to
do everything from the working of his
own brains. His master's name is It. M.
Dodd. He stated that he was a drug
clerk in Williamsburg, and had spent
three years in educating Sport. Sport is
seven years of age. N. Y. Sun,
TIie Darned Man."
The people of the northern towns of
lihode Island, says the Providence Press,
have boon for many years familiar with
the venerable form of an itinerant known
to old and young as the "Darned man,"
and only to a very few by any other name.
For a season or two past he has been
missed from his accustomed routes, and
there is no doubt that his earthly pilgrim
age is over. Of the quiet life and un
heralded death of this strange personage
but little can now be known. If the
history of his youth was important it is
irreclaimably lost hidden within the
arcana of the churchyard. Those who
are aged themselves, tell us of the great
age of this wanderer, and say they re
member him looking almost tho same
as at the laet of his pilgrimage while they
were yet only boys. By them it is claimed
that he was not less than ninety years
old, and from iLe scanty details of their
gossip we learn what we know of his sin
gular lite.
When a young man he was engaged to
be married, and on his wedding day he
attired himself for the ceremonies, when
word came to him that his affianced had
been sdJJenly taken away by death. The
blow was too much for a sensitive organ
ization ; his mind was disordered, and be
came ''like sweet bells jangled out of
tune, and he began thoso singular wan
derings which were only terminated by
death. - But he wore his wedding suit
ever afterward. Starting from the west
ern part ot the State of New York, he
included in his regular route certain roads
across the northern part of this State,
and parties along the line of his chosen
path were accustomed twice a year, at
the same season, to expect his tall and
slender form habited over in the same
suit of gray. Constant exposure to tho
elements and his unremitting travel wore
out the fabric of his marriage suit, and
he would stop and ask of those who treated
him kindly for the only article which he
ever begged thread and yarn to mend
his clothes, when he would sit down in
the house, take oil" bis coat, and proceed
to darn the wornout garment with his
trembling fingers.
As years passed on, the repairs to which
his garments were subjected so altered
and covered up the originals that no one
could tell of what color they bad once
been. The life ho led was a harmless
one, and children never ran from him
in fear. True to the object of his ear
ly affection, after time had whitened bis
hair and shrivelled bis once handsome
form, as in that hopeful hour of promise,
he patiently travelled his weary round,
which ended, we trust, where
"Sweet fields beyond the swelling flood
(Stand dressed in living green."
His name was Addison.
Taken Aback The Ilondout Free
man 6ay : "A couple of our young men
went out to Momboscus, visiting, the other
day. On the road they came across a
young rustic with a handsome maiden by
his side, driving leisurely along. Our
bloods went fur him, and having a good
stepper soon passed him, when turning
around to have a view, the fresh young
girl's cheeks (so unlike our housed-up
Tillies) took the young men by storm.
Out came their pocket-handkerchiefs for
a flirtation. They were, however, some
what taken aback when the rustic, with
a cool business air, called out, 4Hey,
mister, how much a pound do you ask for
your rags, We dou't pay but three cents
here.' "
A farmer's daughter in this State
was visited by a rustic youngster, who,
finding it difficult to keep up the conver
sation, asked the girl, after an embarras
sing Bilence had prevailed for some time,
if she knew of anybody that wanted to
buy a shirt f "No I don't," she replied,
"have you one to sell?" "O no," said
he, "I only asked to make talk !"
JOSH UlLLiIXGS' PAPERS.
THE TALLER DOG.
Dogs hav infested this world just about
az long az man haz, and will hang around
it, az long az thare is etiny grizzle left on
a bone"!
We hav no reliable ackount ov the fust
dog, and probably 6hant hav ov the final
one.
If Adam kept a tarrier, or Eve a poo
dle, the laps of ages have wabhed away
the fakt.
If Noah had a pair ov each breed ov
dogs, on board ov hiz vessell, and only
one pair ov fleas, he waz well ont for
dogs, and poor ont for fleas, But history
iz numb on this subjekt.
Esaw waz a mity hunter, but wether
he k,ept a houn, or followed the cent him
self, iz az ded, and departed to us, az the
chirp ov the fust reliable cricket.
We read that Esaw sold out hiz birth
rite for soup, and menny wonder at hiz
extravagance, but Esaw diskovered arly,
what menny a man haz diskovered since,
that it iz hard work tew live on a pedi
gree. If i was starving, I wouldn't hesitate
tew swap oph all the pedigree I had, and
all mi relashuns had, for a quart of pot
tage, and throw in a couple ov graie
grandfathers into the bargain.
Thare iz only one thing that kan beat
hunger, and that iz avarice, i hav known
avarice tew starve hunger to death and
then die too, leaving one dollar more, for
some rollicking nephew tew invest, in
sherry cobblers, and cigars.
But later along the turnpike ov time,
the dog cums in lor hiz reckord, and we
read that Ackteon, waz et by hiz canibal
pups, and in that most wonderful ov all
conceptionp, the Odysse, we kati almcst
feel the lick on our own band, that the
faithful Anjo gave to Ulysses, after twen
ty years ov abscence, and cab almost see
tho blear eyed old staghoun, wag hiz last
tail, and then lay down at the feet ov hiz
master and di.
Faithful old dog, yu alone ov all the
rest, no artifice could deceive.
But i don't Intend this essa for dogs in
the lump, but for the individual yeller
dog himself.
The yeller dog haz no pedigree, the
blood in hiz veins iz az kurdo az petrole
um, when it fust cums pumping out ov
the earth, bitter, thick, and fiery.
He iz long, and lazily put together,
hiz ears flop when he shacks along the
dusty thoroughfare, and hiz tail iz a bur
den. Thare iz no animashun in a yeller dog's
tail, it is useless, the flies aint even afraid
ov it, it iz wuss than a 10 per cent mort
gage tew the rest ov hiz boddy.
Whi the yeller dog aint born diskount
ed, iz a mistery tew me, but when i ask
miself, "whare would yu hitch tho tin
pan to," then at once the folly ov a bob
tailed yeller dog, flashes on mi mind.
Ever since this ktntinent waz found bi
Christopher Columbus, in 1492, and for
what i kno, much time previous tew that,
the yeller dog haz been a vagrant, travel
ling bi moon lite, and hungry bi nature.
Whare he cums from noboddy seems to
know, and if yu speak a kind word tew
him, he thinks it a kite in disguise, and
straddling hiz tail, with both hind legs,
ho goes suspicious, and sideways, on his
lonesum jurney.
Mankind hav made him a vagabond,
and life to him iz made up ov starvashun
and brickbats.
If he cums out ov hiz lurking place in
the hot ov august, he iz a ''mad dcj, and
the common council at onco assemble, the
riot act iz read, 50 dollars reward iz offer
ed, men cum panting into town, crieing
"mad dog" their two horse waggon waz
bit that morning bi a yeller dog, the fury
rages, old guns are kleaned up, the cannon
iz run out on the village green, dames talk
to dames ov the awful event, men look
sober and defiant, boys pocket their mar
bles in the midst ov the game, pigs run
squealing tew their hovels, and the whole
boddy polilik surges with horror.
The poor innocent whelp haz done hiz
worst, and while a whole village iz in the
extacys ov hydrophobia, he has passed on,
and may be seen, tugging away, in the
subburbs, at the shin bone ov a departed
omnibus boss.
The yeller dog " haz but one friend
amung men, and that iz the darkey.
A common misfortune links them to
gether. Why iz it, that the old negro, and hiz
yeller dog, are vagabonds on the face ov
the earth T
Mans inhumanity iz wuts than the
malice ov wild beasts.
A day ov reckoning will cum, a day ov
judgmeut, and I kant tell but what the
yeller dog will be thare; a mute witness,
and then, and thare, will tho grate prob
lem be solved.
This wurld is phull ov grate wrongs,
and the next one will az certainly be az
phull ov grate retribushuns.
I kant endure the sight ov oppreshun,
it disgraces mi manhood. If i had money
enuff t would like tew buy even all the
yeller dogs thare iz now on the buzzum
ov the earthy and make them retpekted
and happy.
But I baint got the money, never shall
hav, but az long az i hav strength tew
steer a gooze quill, and blood enuff in mi
heart for ink, i will bid mankind beware
ov oppreshun, i dont kare whether it is
in hi places, or low, the oppreshun ov
caste, the enprcshun ov wealth, or cveu
the low, and degrading oppreshun, ov a
tin pale, in hot pursuit, ov the friendless,
yelping, yeller dog.
Yeller dogs will sumtime, and sura
whare, hav their day, and when the huge
piles ov brikbats, and mountains ov old
ware, cums into court, i want tew be
thare, for i am anxious tew know what
the line ov defence will be.
Twelve by Hie Cloclt AmusJus
Scene In Ccurt.
About twenty years ago, when Frank
lin Pierce and the present Senator Clark
stood at the head of the Hillsborough bar,
in New Ilamsphire, there was upon the
docket a celebrated suit called the "horse
case." The action was brought by Smith
& Jones, livery-stable keepers, against
one White, to recover the value of a
pair of horses alleged to have been killed
by the defendent while conveying an
insane man to the asylum at Concotd.
There was plenty of proof that the horses
died soot; after their arrival there ; but the
defendant took the ground that they died
of disease ; and not by being overheated,
and that a sufficient time had been allow
ed them to travel that distance with ease.
Then it became necessary to ehow the
jury the time of starting and the time of
arrival. Many citizens were brought for
ward, among them a tall, bony, slab sided,
lanky, sleepy iooking fellow, who officia
ted as hostler at the stable. The follow
ing is the substance of the concluding por
tion of the examination.
"What time, sir, did I understand you
tb say it was when the horses were driven
up to the fetable ?"
"Just as I was going to dinner,"
"What time was it when you went to
dinner that day by the clock ?"
"Just 12i" "
"To a minute, sir !'
"Yes, bir."
"What time was it when you went to
dinner the day before by the clock?"
"Just 12."
"To a minute !"
"Yes sir V
"And what time dil yoti go to dinner a
week previous by the clock !"
"At 12."
"To a minute, sir !"
"Yes, sir."
"Now, sir, will you be good enough to
tell the jury what time you went to diuuer
three months before the last date by the
clock P
"At 12."
"To a minute t"
Yes, Fir."
"That is all, sir," replied the counsel,
with a gleam of satisfaction on his face
and a glance at the jury, as much as to
say : "that man has settled his testimony,
gentlemen." And so all thought till,
just as he was leaving the stand, ha turned
to his questioner with a curious, comical
expression on his face, and drawled out :
That'ere clock was out o kilter, and has
ptopped at 12 for the las six months."
There was a general roar. Mr. Clark sat
down, and the judge had to use his hand
kerchief just then.
Not tfie Fellow. The other morn
ing an eldetly gentleman started to walk
up the C. & P. railroad track, from Bel
laire to West Wheeling. In the neigh
borhood of Whiskey run he came across
three rough looking young men who were
sitting on the end of the ties of the road
taking consolation and fusil oil by word
of mouth out of a gallon jug. As our
friend passed them, a youth of eighteen,
hailed him with, "Here, daddy, come and
get a drink." He was informed that
hysting benzine was not one of the old
man's accomplishment but he was not to
be put of! in that way.
Advancing with a volley of oaths fly
ing from bis mouth, he informed the old
gentleman that he must drink or take a
whipping. Just as the ruffian got within
striking distance of our old friend, the
latter drew a revolver, which he cocked
and held full in the face of the drunken
rowdy. To say that the rough stopped
doesn't half tell it. He could not have
stopped more suddenly if lightning bad
struck him.
'Don't shoot, old fellow," he stam
mered, as he recovered from his astonish
ment. "I meant it all in friendship."
"D n your friendship I" shouted the
old fellow, now thoroughly excited. "Go
get that jug and bring it here, or I'll blow
you to kingdom come iu a minute."
The completely cowed ruffian obeyed.
As he brought the jug full of liquor the
old man said :
'Now break it on that railroad tie.
Break it !" he 6houted. "Break it quick,
or " before he had time to finish the
sentence the jug was in a thousand pieces.
"Now, you infernal, darned mean cuss,
get down on your knees and apologize, or
I'll make your head like a pepper-box
top"
The fellow hesitated ; but looking into
the old man's eyes, saw that he meant
business, and dropping on his knees in the
snow, abjectly apologized for the outrage.
Thinking him sufficiently punished, the
old man walked peacefully on his way
As he went up the track ho hoard one of
the fellows Call out to the other :
"I say, Bill, that ain't the man you
were looking for, is it ?"
Win is buttermilk like something
which never happened ? Because it hasn't
a curd (occurred.
NUMBER 27.
MIL JJOSCJVITO.
Mopquitoes vary in siz as much as pd
tatoes, but averuge well in this region.
They are built on the same plan as the
elephant (only a trifle htnallerj having
plenty of legs, a bob tail, with a trunk or
bill on the front eud of them. Their
body is all stomach, and their trunk i a
suction pump, gimblct-pointed, and hard
as Damascus steel. They are a bird of
song, although Audubou classes them
strictly a game bird, but he was liable to
mistakes as well as the telegraph. In
these parts they go wild while in some
States they are utilized for labor. In
some parts of New Jersey where the soil
is so thin that horses and oxen caunot bo
worked with safety lest they break
through; they are used for farm purposes;
three pair of full-blood Jersey mosquitoes
being considered equal to a tandem team
of two geese, or ona middling-sizid goat.
We know this to be a fact, having fre
quently geen the farmers thera plowing
and doing other work with above named
labor saving machines. Down south wheu
a vessel is ready for planking, the planks
are laid on to the timbers and a Utile blood
rubbed on ;o the insida of them, when
tho mosquitoes will sting through the
plank aud timber, and the men iiibMe will
rivet up their bills and thus save bolts and
treenails. A well-built vessel, mo?q jito
fastened, is considered a GiBt class jub.
Mosquitoes round in these parts arc a
trifle smaller than a humming bird, nd
as musical as a sewing machine. Ther
are more plea&ing moments in a man's Ufa
than those in which he lies in bed on a
6ultry night, and listens to tLo mosq jitoes
warbling in the distance, and hears them
approaching the bed humming over the
familiar 6ong of "Fe. Fi, Fo, Futn, I
smell the blood of an Englishman," and
know that he is the person meant. He
does not take hold of much solid comfort,
as aloufc a dizen of them light m him
with a "ziz," 6et their drills and com
mence boring for his blood. He can't
drivo thorn away, ho can't go away him
self: He may slat round and Bwear as muc'a as ha
will.
But the pesky mosquito will linger there Btil
Sting-lapping his ekia with a blood long bill.
And there it wiL sit till it has guzzled a gill
or thereabouts.
For real pleasure we would prefer
sleeping iu a bee-Live to undertaking to
bottle up sleep in the midst of a swarm of
mosquitoes. In this connection we can
not help quoting the lines of Dr. Watts,
commencing :
When we've tried all the week to be good.
How pleasant on Saturday eight
To tit up till morning iu bed,
TLe co-founded niGSTiuitues to fight.
A mosquitoe's stomach will stretch lika
a government contractor's conscience. A
common sied "skeet" will hold a half
pint of blood, and wheh a person is vic
timized by a swarm of a hundred thous
and or so, tapping him indifferent place?,
It is easy to see that there is qita a draiu
on his system. As songsters they are
equal, if not superior to the mule or shang
hai. We hear of a chap who, on enter
ing his room in a boarding house in Brook
lyn, heard some one sirging, and on
lighting tha gap, Le espied a mofqiito
sitting on a match sailing round in tho
wash-bowl, tinging, "A Life on ih i Oct an
Wave." But this was an exceptional
case. We shall not attempt a joke on the
mosquito's bill, as that subject has been
handled about as much as it will be, and
we dou't know that we owe them any
thing, as it is always our intention to can
cel our acvount at the time.
If there is one satisfaction that is at least
ten feet ahead of any other satisfaction,
it is to enter your sleeping room on the
window Fills and chairs, and to then and
there disrobe, crnwl into bed, beneath a
good bar, lie there and hear them cuss
and swear outside the net. We consider
that the most satisfactory thing it is pos
sible to conceive. And while we ura
mentioning the thing, we would suggest
the arrangement of mosquito bars and
nets in the windows, as we can never tell
when we are liable !o have the itch, or be
favored with mosquitoes. There are peo
ple who consider that mo?quitoes are
madd in vain, but to our mind?, if nature
ever got up anything that was a perfect
success, it was when the mosquito was
produced. If they were made for any
thing it was to bite, and as a bitist wo
would like to see one's equal. A". T.
Argus.
A Dandy's Picttre. Tho effeminate
man ; says Figaro, is a weak poultice.
lie is a poultice between table-beer and
g!nger-pop, with the cork left out ; a fresh
water mermaid found in a cow-palure
with her hands filled with dandelions.
He is a tea-cup full of syllabub ; a kitten
in treusers; a eick monkey with a blonde
moustache. He is a vine without any
tendrils ; a fly drowned in oil ; a paper
kite in a dead calm. He lives liktt a
butterfly nobody can tell why. He is
as harmless as a penny-worth of sugar:
candy, and as useless as a shirt-button
without a hole. He is as lazy as a slug,
and has no more hope than a last year's
summer fly. He goes through life on tip
toe, and dies like cologne-water spilt over
tho ground.
"Octavis, my love," said a younqj
bride, "what tmike3 the canary sleep on
one leg ?" "I don't think anything
makes him: I think he dwes it of his own
free will aud accord."