Wanted Hi* Money Back. It is an old saying tiiat "you cannot eat your cake and have it too." But a seasick person usually cares little for either side of the proposition. The caplain of one of the steamships ply ing between this country ai tl Italy, which arrived at New York \>!th over GOO immigrants, tells a rather iun us ing story of a heated interview held between himself and one of rliein ou the voyage across. The vessel had been out a low days and had encountered some heavy seas. The first morning that calmer weather prevailed one of the steerage passen gers appeared for tile first time above deck and with a face as white as a sheet approached the captain. "This has got to stop!" he saitl an grily. "What has?" asked the captain, in surprise. "This feeling of death. When I bought my ticket 1 was tolil it in cluded meals, but I can't keep my food down. Now, it has got to stop, cap lain, or else I want my passage money Aaek. You cannot break your contract in this fashion with rue." It took all the captain's ingenuity to pacify him during the rest of the trip. —Youth's Companion. No Chance For the Truth. "Be truthful," said the teacher. "Always?" asked the boy. "Always," answered the teacher. "Never tell a lie?" "Never." "Not even a white lie?" "Not even a white lie." "Huh," ejaculated the lad scorn fully, "it's a mighty good thing for you you ain't a boy with my dad for a father!" "Why?" asked the teacher. "Because," replied the boy, "if you was my dad's little boy, and you'd beard what he said about Aunt Eliza comin' to visit us with her children, and Aunt Eliza had asked you if you weren't all glad to see her, and you'd told the truth, like I did, you'd think there was a place where your trousers was mighty thin, after dad had fin ished with you." lie went back to his desk, and as he sat down with great care there was an expression on his face that showed the great lesson of truth had been, at least in a measure, lost on him.—London Tit-Bits. When Curates Were Wanted. When one learns that curates are in creasing so much more rapidly than benefices, wonder is excited as to the condition of affairs in the eighteenth century, when enterprising ladies of fered livings to clergymen willing to marry thorn. An advertisement to this effect appeared in the London Chron icle in March, 1758. The lady was rather particular too. The curate was to be young, have a small fortune, be well recommended as to morals and good temper "and be firmly attached to the present happy establishment." The living was not rich—below £IOO per annum—but the fair one was young and agreeable. There seems a touch of humility in the direction that an swers "may be left at the bar of the Union Coffee Mouse, Strand, directed to Z. Z." Confidence was created by the assurance that "the utmost se crecy and honor may he depended upon."—London Chronicle. England's Old Common Field System. A "common field" is quite distinct from a "common." It is a field be longing to numerous owners. The land consists of long narrow strips, perhaps not more than ten yards wide and run ning parallel with one another. What are the exact rules of cultivation that obtain in Kent today we do not know, but of old it was usual to have a regu lar rotation, such as wheat one year, barley or oats the second and fallow the third. When the crops were har vested, each member of thecommunity getting his or her share, all could put in their cattle, which roamed over the whole field, feeding on the stubble, etc. And this was termed the "right of sack." The "common field" system was gradually done away with by statutes in the reigns of George 111. and William IV.—London Express. A Famous Temple. The most magnificent work of ar chitecture in the world is the Taj Mahal, in Agra, Hindustan. It was erected by Shah Jehan to the memory of his favorite queen. It is octagonal iu form, of pure white marble, inlaid with jasper, carnelian, turquoise, agate, amethyst and sapphire. The work took 22,000 men twenty years to complete, and, though there were free gifts and the labor was free, the cost is estimated at slo,ooo,ooo.—Exchange. Real Good Steak. "We can't eat this steak; it's not good!" complained a young man who was spending his honeymoon in a Scottish village. "Ye're surely jokin'. sir," said the landlord of the inn. "It maun indeed be guid. It's a hit o* the minister's auld coo!" Higher. "But our ideals!" "What of them?" "Are they higher than they were a generation ago?" "Sure. Everything is higher now."— Louisville Courier-Journal. His Blunder. "How did you enjoy the musicale?" "Oh, I applauded at the wrong time, as usual; thought the orchestra tun ing up was a classical number."—Kan sas City Journal. Easily Timed. Read—Have you ever timed your automobile' Greene Oh. yen! It stood perfectly still for forty-olght minutes on the roud today. Reset and Ingalls. "Why don't you grow?" said Tom Heed to Senator Ingalls some year* ago. when both men were 1 n the sen ] ice of the people at Washington. "Ah." said Ingalls. who was of very i flight stature. "I'm too much interest ( ril in m> fellow* life and property to ! assume to your magnificent height am! ' proportion" "And is not that my concern, too?" !■ Ued Reeil deliberately "Impossible!" said Ingalls "Walk on : tie edge of a board walk and you lift <;;• il:< other end: stand In the midde il yon break through, i'he people » I'eiv ,ies in your being a middle of I the road man." • oi" lays after Heed found IngalN a siaw of mental distraction. "Just ••wallowed the gold fillings of this Iron? tooth." explained Senator Ingalls ' ,'i iat'.vg to the exposed cavity. Bee.! laughed immoderately He drew himself up to his full height. As ii victor he stood; his time of revenge ! had eoniH. ; "Ingalls. I congratulate you. Vou 1 are now worth your weight in gold." Ought to Have Known Him. "About the limit of nerve that ever ; came under my observation." said an ex-prosecutor, "happened a few days ago whet) a man walked into my office j and solicited a small loan That he was drunk and had been for several days was evident at a glance. Dirty, blear eyed, uushaved and with hands I that shook like those i.f a professional ! roman candle shooter, he saluted me ; with easy familiarity, calling me by |my first mime ihs i.n-e was vaguely i familiar to m--. out I ' <•:; I<l not recall j where i had sc.-n him lie asked for I a quarter. I comprint ; i with a dime | He took It with profuse thanks "'Let's see. I calie.i lo him as lie j turned to go. 'I can'i quite place you. Who are vou?" "He wheeled and looked at me with an expression of pa mod surprise 'What! Don t know me. Why. good Lord, John: You put me in Jail three times for wife beating!' "—Kansas City Star Some Measures. Herbert spencer scorned the metric system because It rests solely on the fact that man has but ten fingers However, a mile is but a "mille pas suum," or a thousand paces. The length of the foot was used for dis tances loug before it was lixeri at twelve inches A "furlong" is only a furrowlong. The breadth of the hand became the standard because the eas iest way of measuring the height of the horse. The length of the arm gave the length of the "ell." atid from the elbow to the tip ol the middle finger was the "cubit." By stretching out both arms as ir' on a cross man invent ed the measure of the "fathom." Cloth measure still decrees that, two and one-half inches make a "nail." and this is the width of four fingers held together and measured across the ! nails. The apothecary's "dram" origt nally sicrnilied "only as much raw spsi it as can be held in the mouth" Editorial Pieissntries. Two edit, is quart - led. and one re ' ferred to the other's early caret r in j Ills paper "As for our conic,upoi ary." lie wrote. J "what can we expo < from a man wi.o was live v s ago iiawkn • from dooi I to door •. i donkey, ami an ill con I ditioned bo " i ai that?" Ills rix ill <1 not deny it, tint iu his | next issue appeared Ihe following: "Our cortemporary says thai I1«-e years ago vo were hawking from door to door with a donkey, and an 111 con ditioned beast at that.' He is quite I n .'it. We were so occupied. But w» j arc surprised to find the donkey has j such a. good memory." Won by a Nose. "Bernard Shaw." said a dramatic critic, "always does the original tbiag I wont io see 'Caesar and Cleopatra with him once, and as we stood iti the aisle—the house was crowded a stran ger belli i d us persisted In poking his head right over Shaw's shoulder "Shaw then did the original thing Taking out his handkerchief, he wiped | the man's nose, patting and twisting I it pretty vigorously. "The man. with an ugly oath, jerked j back his head | "'Oh. I beg your pardon," said Shaw i '1 thought it was mine, you know'" I Washington Star Ready to Cargaiii. Suitor (to her fnthen Sir. I love the j very ground your daughter treads on. ! Father (grimly) Well, young man. you | ain't the tirst party that's had an at- I tachuient for it. llowsomever, it you | love it we I: enough lo come and help | pay up tin mortgage on ir you can ! marry Sarah Kxclninge. Hopeless. Lawyer-You don't like the Jury Defendant I do not .No. 'I m i.iy ■ tailor, .No .'I is un grocer. \o .> is mv j milk ami egg dealer and No. , i«. mv j wife's first 'utshaud What cuame have i got? St Bam Dispatch. Expree ed Differently. | "Madam, you ought togo to a warm j er climate " "For once doctor, you and my mi band are agreed, but tie expresses (i;,. : idea in more emphatic language New York Press He Contributed. Missionary- Do vou ever contribute money for the heathen iu foreisru lands, sir? Millionaire- Oh. yes BoMi m.\ daughters married foreign uobie IIH'U i hosi wl:n are greedy of praise prove rhat they are poor In merit. CAMERON COUNTY PRBSS, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 34, 1910. A Versatile Cardan. The dwellers In a seaport town of Massachusetts are Justly proud of their gardens. It remained fot a visitor from a tiny village "way rouud the Cape" to say the first slightly dis paraging word ol these gardens, "isn't tliis beautiful?" his hostess ask ed as she paused under a rose arbor and looked back over the stately ranks of larkspur, monk's hood, hollyhocks and many other favorites. "It's a handsome gardin—of its kind," said the visitor dispassionately, "but it ain't quite up to the mark when you consider our gardlns." "Indeed!" and the lady looked at him. too amazed to be angry. "What sort of gardens have you, please?" "Well." said her Cape visitor calm ly. "what we call a good gardin is one where you can start out with two big baskets and a. hoe, step through the llower gardin part, past the vegetables, down to the water; dig your clams fust, pick your sweet corn, lay your posies on top o' that and baud the whole lot over at the kitchen door There's your shore dinner and trim mill's ail from one gardin."—Youth's Companion. The Wise Woodpecker. In California the woodpecker stores acorns away, although lie never eats them. He bores several boles, differ ing slightly iu size, at the fall of the year invariably in a pine tree. Then he finds an acorn, which he adjusts to one of the holes prepared for its re ception. Bui he does not eat the acorn, for, as a rule, he is not a vege tarian His object in storing away the acorns exhibits foresight and a knowl edge of results more akin to reason than to instinct. The succeeding win ter flie acorns remain Intact, but. be coming saturated, are predisposed to decay, when they are attacked by maggots, which seem to delight in this special food It is then that the wood pecker reaps the harvest his wisdom has provided at a time when, the ground being covered with snow, he would experience difficulty otherwise in obtaining suitable or palatable food. —Cleveland Leader. Not Tending to Business. A country doctor was recently cailed upon to visit a patient some wa: from his office. Driving to where tin sick man lived, lie tied his horse to -i tree in front of the house and started to walk across the ground. It hap pened that work was in progress on a new well, of which the doctor knew nothing until be found himself sink ing into the earth. lie fell just far enough to b • unable to get out of the hole unassisted and lustily yelled for help When he was finally pulled up the hired man remarked to him: "1 say. doc, you had no business down there" "No; I don't think I had." replied the doctor. "Don't you know." continued the hired man. "you ought leave the well alone and take care of the sick?"— Lippiticott's. Inherited Dreams. A medical scientist claims that many dreams are really hereditary—that is to say. they come down to us from an cestors Many persons have a dreuu which they dream over and over again This and some others that are frequent, according to the authority referred to, are inherited. The doctor observed, for instance, that a child of six years after an attack of typhoid fever saw in its slumber a figure clad in black, which advanced to the l'oo' of the bed and fixed upon him it.* shining eyes. It was found that the father of the child had frequently dreamed that dream, although lie had never mentioned it to his child. The grandfather dreamed the same dream, although he had told uo one about it. Evidently there ?s more than our phi losophy can fathom in"the stuff that dreams are made of." Pensions From Napoleon. Pa .'is has a dozen old soldiers who draw pensions that come to them from the great Emperor Napoleon I These are not heroes of his epoch, for the last of those died long years ago. But Napoleon by his will devised several millions of francs to his companions in arms, and this capital in default of heirs of the grand army was deposited in the public treasury. Today the rev enue this fund produces is paid out in the form of pensions of 200 francs each to old soldiers in French terri tory. and Paris has twelve of these beneficiaries to whom at the first ol' the year those little pensions are re mitted.—Paris Figaro. A Wise Woman. Mr. Snaggle (snappishly)— Don't be correcting that boy always. Sarah. Let nature take Its course, won't you? Mrs Snaggle (laying aside the shiu glei— I'll do nothing of the sort. Mr. Snaggle. I don't intend that any wo man shall have such a husband as I've got if 1 can prevent it. A Paradoxical Reply. "Doctor, do you think eyeglasses will alter tny appearance?" inquired Mrs Gunsoii anxiously. "1 shall at least expect them to iin prove your looks." replied the physi clan.—l.lppincott's The Boy's Bit. "You seem to have got your boys in terested in mythology very nicely." "Yes; I explained to them that Her cules iicid a hampionship."—Washing ton Herald. Sure Test. She—They held a mirror ovor her face to see if she was alive. I don't understand that tie Why. you see. if she was alive she'd open her eyes and look in it. A Safeguard to Children. "Our two children of six and eight years have been sinee infancy subject to colds and croup. About three years ago J started to use Foley's Honey and Tar, and it has never failed to prevent and cure these troubles. It is the only medi cine I can get the children to take with out a row." The above from W. C. Ornstein, Green Bay, Wis., duplicates the experience of thousands of other users of Foley's Honey and Tar. It cures coughs, colds and: croup, an<? prevents bronchitis and pneumonia. Sold by all droggis's. II \« ,u will just take Kodol now and then \«u need not fear or hesitate to eat all the good food that you want, for Kodol will digest whatever you eat. Kodol is for weak and sour stomachs. Kodol is pleasant to take, and it is guar antecd to give relief at once. Sold by all druggists. Sore Lunge and Raw Lungs. Most people know the feeling, and the miserable state of ill health it indicates. All people should know that Foley's Honey and Tar, the greatest throat and lung remedy, will quickly cure the sore ness and cough and restore a normal con dition. Ask for Foley's Honey and Tar. Sold by all drnggists. When You Need Foley's Orlno Laxatixe. When jou have that dull, heavy, feverish feeling, accomanied by constipation. When you have headache, indigestion, biliousness, pain in stomach and bowels, then you need Foley's Oriuo Laxative. It moves the bowels freely and gently, and thor oughly cleanses the intestinal tract. It does not gripe or nauseate and cures con stipation. Sold by all druggists. Do you know that croup can be pre vented? Give Chamberlain's Cough Remedy as soon as the child becomes hoarse or even after the croupy cough ap pears and it will prevent the attack. It is also a certain cure for croup and has never been known to fail. Sold by all dealers. While it is often impossible to prevent uii accident, it is never impossible to be prepared—it is not beyond auv one's purse. Invest 25 cents in a bottle of Chamberlain's Liniment and you are pre pared for sprains, bruises and like injur ies. Sold by all dealers. Kidney disease is a dangerous ailment. You should never delay a moment to take some good, reliable, dependable remedy. In such eases we recommend DeWitt's Kidney and Bl.idder Fills. These wond erful pills are being used by thousands of people daily with fine results. They are for weak kidneys, weak back, backache, inflammation of the bladder and all urinary disorders. Sold by all druggists. The famous little liver pills are De- W itt's Little Early Risers They are safe, sure, gentle and easy to take. When you ask for DeWitt's Carbolized Witch Hazel Salve, refuse to accept a substitute or imitation. DeWitt's Carbolized Witch Hazel Salve is good for anything when you need a salve, and it is especially good for piles. Sold by all druggists. An attack of the grin is often followed by a persistent cough, which to many proves a great annoyance. Chamberlain's Cough Remedy has been extensively used and with good success I'cr lb.- relief and cure of this cough. Many cases have been cured after ali other lemedies had failed. Sold by all druggists. iTjrrr-g-remiw.MiirMw uinr.- LADY WANTED! To introduce our large 1009 Spring line of beauti l'ui dress poods and waistings. Latest up-to-date New York City patterns. Handsomest liue of materials ever seen. Quick sales, large profits. Can make S2O or more weekly. Samplesatid full instructions peeked in neat sample cape shipped Express prepaid. No money required. Exclu sive territory. Our prices are low. Write for particulars. Be first to apply. Standard Brass Goods Go., Dept. 6, Glngtiainicn, N, 1 McCALL PATTERNS Celebrated for style, perfect fit, simplicity an< reliability nearly 40 years. Sold in near!) every city and town in the United States ant' Canada, or by mail direct. More sold thai any other make. Send tor free catalogue McCALL'S MAGAZINE More subscribe!s than any other fashion magazine—million a month. Invaluable. Lat est styles, patterns, dressmaking-, millinery, plain sewing, fancy needlework, hairdressing, etiquette, pood stories, etc. Only 50 cents u year (worth double), including a free pattern. Subscribe today, or send for sample copy. WONDERFUL INDUCEMENTS to Agents. Postal brings premium catalogue < and new cash prize offers. Address i'iJE tllcCALl CO.. 238 to 248 W. 37th St.. NEW YORH 0 SHAW'S JSL MALT..!; V v 01 'Tonic and Beverage"! | A REAL MALT; BOTTLED BY I I THE DISTILLERS \ I **i: So,cl fcv LEADING DEALERS Pure Waterfi DRINK ! Sizerville i Mineral | | Water I Clean, Pure and Healthy. I We are prepared to furn!*h the citizens fi of Emporia m this popular Water, either H PLAIN Oil CAIIBONA'J 13D, in bottles. Drop a postal card— we will do the rest " The analysis of the celebrated Sizerville £ Water has made it famous all over the w country. H| Orders n.a.v be lclt at Geo. F. ttalcom ® ■ store, or water may be purchased by the fi ■ case at the aauie place. Address, Magnetic Mineral Water Co., LSIZEHVILLE, FA. O£TOB9 (srawwateara eatßaanro BEPP MIESTEft SPILLS fjv eRAND t § r Ask jour l>ru<r R lat for CTII-CHES-TER'S A DIAMOND HKAND P11.1.S in RED and/>\ G01.1) metallic boies, sealed with Blne(//J> Ribbon. Takb no other. BnyofTonrV/ DruKdlst on<l n»k for 0111-CIIJCS.TKR S V DIAMOND Hit AM) 1'11.1.5, for twenty-fiTO years regarded na Best, Safest, Always Reliable. SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE S TJ TT' ' n rr. vc* icr oil for Gas Engine: lubrication. | ■ JU WJli-/ M2do from Ponnayivania Crude Oil. ■ ■ Absolute freedom from Carbon, leaves no deposit. Light in col»r—flows easily. 9 WAVERLY never smuts, cloes or pum3, but keeps your motor in perfect running g! ■ order. For your protection—ask any dealer. "Perfect Lubriration Without Carbon Deposit." ■ Waverly Oil Worhs Co. Sndopendent Oil Refiners, Pittsburg, Pa. j| t STYLE SHOW IS ON Alfred Benjamin & Go's New V«irli Styles Correct Clothes for Men and Young Men for the Fall Season of 1909-10 from andOv ' rCOOlS sloto22 "°"^" iWrc "' s $2 to $6 Full line of Furnishings, Flats, Caps and DOUGLAS SHOES. | Hi SIItIEU & CO jj Alfred BenjaniatCo^SU EMrORIOI, PA. That Lame Back Means Kidney Disease And to Relieve the Lame and Aching Back, You Must First Relieve the Kidneys There Is no question about that j , .. at all—for the larue and aching 12J Utter back is caused by a diseased con- X jjggalM Vg* dition of tho kidneys and bladder. *;•? It is only common sense, any way Vx. —that you must cure a condition UJSSsSV^T by removing tho cause of the con- \ are not by any means tho only symptoms of derangement of the W Lf kidneys and bladder. There are a *■.. "^T\ multitude of well-ltnown and un mlstakable indications of a more or less dangerous condition. Somo of these are, for instance: Extreme I ■\ \\ and unnatural lassitude and weari ness», nervous ii rital.iiif heart, ir- ,ss and inability to secure N!)) IM/l'ili i-St-t, -raiding sensation and sedi- l/l//'." i/llfJvSlt&C --(lie uri.i- . . ' jji\^ Mr- t • n, diseaiM co'-iHtionr; of ||>|j lire ly ai d pr. mptly- a: i ! ir TO. <\ De\ptt & Co., Chicago,"ill.. t;-r!'-Scial results are at once felt, want every man and woman who They regulate, purify, and effec- have the least, suspicion that they tnaily " > 1 and restore the kid- cro afflicted with kidney and blad t\f ' >' ler tnd liver, to perfect, der disqasc3 to at onre write them, c '.iy c ndition —even in and a tflal box of these Pills will ba it.. .is mo::?, advanced cases.. uent itee by return mail postpaid. ! ay all Dri -'!.>tß A Handsome Woman Every woman may not be hand some, but every woman should keep with care the good points nature has given her. No woman need have sallow skin, dull eye. blotchy complexion, who pays proper attention to her health. Where constipation, liver derange ments, blood impurities and other irregularities ercist, good complex ion, bright eyes and sprightly movements cannot exist. Internal derangements reveal themselves sooner or later on the surface. Headache, dark rings around the eyes, sallow skin, a con stant tired feeling— mean that the liver and digestive organs arc needing help and correction. Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tablets give this necessary help. They work in nature's own way. They do not merely flush the bowels but tone up the liver and stomach to fulfill their proper functions. So mild and gentle do they act that one hardly realizes that they have taken medicine. Chamberlain's Tablets can be relied upon to relieve biliousness, indigestion, constipation and dizziness. Sold ev erywhere. Price 25 cents. Diarrhea Quickly Cured. Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhea Remedy Can always be depended upon. During the trammer months children are subject to bowel disorders and should receive the most careful attention. A? soon as any unnatural looseness of the bowels is noticed Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhea Remedy should be Riven. Costs but 25 cents a bottle, and it is economy to always keep a bottle .laridy. » You do not know when it may be needed, but when you do want it you want it badly. Get a bottle today.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers