| THESTORY OF! J BROTHERLUCAS { By ELLIOT WALKER ? (Copyright, by Ford Pub. Co.) Never shall I forget my husband's facial contortions when he read that telegram. Wilton has an expressive countenance. "Threatened with assassination?" I asked. "Worse!" he grunted. "Brother I-u- j cas!" I had heard of but had never seen j this family black sheep. He received j no invitation to our wedding; that I | remember. "Not coming here?" I gasped. "Read it," said Wilton, sinking back j helplessly. Reaching for the dispatch, 1 present- j ly glanced at liis pithy and poetic 1 message: "Be with you, dear Wilton, to-night, j There is more joy, etc. Brother." It struck me humorously. I laugh ! oasilj'. "He might have paid the charges," I j complained, biting my Up. "We had very little money." "He never pays anything," groaned Wilton. "Except visits," was his nournful addition. "It is five years since he has pes tered me," he went on."The last I 'earned, he wrote to mother from some place in New Mexico. We fond- ! ly hoped he would stay theiie —even ! mother. Dear ine! Angeline, this is j dreadful." "Is he so very objectionable?" "My dear, he's awful." I stopped smiling. "But, after all," Wilton's refined, critical face softened, "one can't help iking Lucas. He's funny. Too bad. : "oo bad! So much ability, and a really fine education. Well, the west- j >rn express will land him here about : ■seven o'clock, 1 suppose. We will wait I supper. He used to be fond of J scrambled eggs. His appetite is enor- j rnous." I sighed. Eggs were high, and my ; armer's bill a growing nightmare. At five minutes after seven Brother : Lucas arrived. Had he owned the TPpiWßlllll TPpiWßlllllW 1 Wilton Picked It Up. louse he could not have marched in vith more composure. I stood in the jail behind my husband, listening to he words of reunion, "Wilt, old boy! Give me both lands." I never heard a heartier, nore affectionate voice. "Confound you, Lucas! You make ne glad to get you back." "Can't help it, Wilt. I had to come. ■Mve years, you know. Where's my lear little sister. Oh! I heard. Ah!" This last exclamation was to me as stepped forward. Brother Lucas was the biggest, >roadest, heartiest, rosiest man you an imagine, and not at all evil look ng. His high arched eyebrows over he shrewd, hazel eyes, gave him a ook of constant surprise; his clean shaven lips possessed a comical twist, lis chin was round and belligerently >rominent. It was a face of humor ,nd good-natured defiance. He might >e bad as the world reckons; careless, eckless, but never mean. I trusted m at sight and liked him. The appetite of Lucas made me remble, although I did not begrudge ,im a mouthful. He was very merry, ,nd talked like a lecturer. His easy onfidence, his manners, his wonderful ommand of language, impressed me eeply. Could this man have been a iminal, a jail bird? I would not be ave it. Shortly after eight came the trunk 112 Brother Lucas, a hard looking af air with a rope about it. "Pay the expressman. Wilt," said y brother-in-law jovially. "I'll make t right by and by." Poor Wilton! It was only a quarter, ut he produced the coin with a wry ace. Evidently our guest hadn't a enny. Lucas retired early. He was singing Angeline" to the baby at six in the aorning. His delightful baritone sent ie to sleep again with "Kathleen Ma lurneen." While dressing, I heard onversation in the road. ( Ramsgate had arrived. The social 1 ,ucas was holding forth beside his ' /agon. I hurried and went down. In t talked the farmer, all smiles. "How many eggs can you spare?" I i ut the question nervously. I I "All you want, T reckon." "Three dozen?" "Yes, marm." "I'll try to.have some money foi you i next week." Oh! how I hate that ! phrase! "Shucks! Take your time. No hurry, j marm. I'm not needin' it and you're j good for yer orders." I almost fell down with surprise. Mr. j Ramsgate grinned amiably, counting the eggs. Brother Lucas had van ished. He returned for breakfast; Lucas waa prompt at meals. Little did I see of "brother," as we called him for two days. "Strolled about," was his explanation. On the third day, brother hung i about the house, playing with little j Angie and following me around, j "What do you want, brother?" I ■ asked at last, a trifle irritated. We had let our servant go some time be j fore and I was doing it all. j "To talk," said he. "Angeline, I'm | going tomight." "So soon?" It really grieved mo. | "I'm sorry." "I know it," lie said complacently. We sat on the piazza in the shade of j the clematis and talked. "Wilt doesn't seem well," he began. "He's tired." My lip quivered. "Ought to take a rest, my dear," | glancing at the baby, asleep on his massive arm. "He can't. It's difficult to make both ends even see each other, Lucas. Life isn't all sunshine." The man actually grinned. I felt a quick revulsion. Under his kindly ex terior was he so utterly heartless? "Why!" said he, queerly. "1 never j notice the clouds." We talked for a long time, but I | gained slight knowledge of Lucas; of his life during recent years, his occu pation (if he had one). 1 fear I told him all about my affairs. He extract ed confidence- as a sponge absorbs water, silently, thoroughly. Wilton came home at five o'clock, j his thin face white and drawn. "The company has sold out," he ' groaned. "My position goes to the i : son of the new vice-president. I know I of no opening." "Cheer up!'" said Lucas. I could have struck him. "Not surprising," commented he. [ | "Why, 1 heard of the proposed sale out j west, months ago. 'He that hath ears ! I—' I have a great pair for gossip, j Brace up. Brother Wilton; "tis a long lane that knows no turning.' " Iran up stairs to cry, after my bus- j band had expressed another fear. "It's the first of the month," he i quavered. "Not a bill has come in. | Can the tradesmen have heard of this change? Of my disaster? Does it mean those wretched accounts are go ing to the lawyers for collection? If so—" "Quite likely," interrupted Brother Lucas; "that's the way they do." Then it was that I left them. Of all the cold-blooded remarks! I prayed he might go—quickly. He did, right after (for Wilton and me) an untasted supper. For him it was a hearty meal with his. usual chat ter. Such absolute indifference to our woe made me begin to hate the man. He was an enigma. "I'll send after my trunk from the depot," he announced, preparing to go. " 'Farewell! a long farewell to all my greatness.' Angeline, good-bye, my dear." His eyes were misty. Suddenly my anger left me. After all I should mias his big, breezy presence. I kissed him heartily. He wrung Wilton's hand. Then came the last straw. "Five dollars will see me through, old boy," he said careless ly. "I have a return ticket, but I'll need something for meals." I admired my husband. "Oh! take ten," he smiled, and actually gave this robber his last ten-dollar bill. "Thanks!" said Lucas, with a sort of sob, and was gone. "No mail to-night?" Wilton spoke wearily. "Nothing but a circular. Brother met the postman. What is that on the card receiver?" My glance naturally turned to the usual receptacle for our letters. "From the bank." Wilton picked it up. "More trouble, I fear. 1 can't be overdrawn again?" His frightened look gave place to a wild glare of astonishment as he gazed at the inclosure. "Oh! what?" I shrieked. "Nothing," he answered dully, like one in sleep. "My account has been credited with SIO,OOO, that's all. De posited by Lucas Messenger, Esq." Then he broke down, telling me to leave him. It was natural, perhaps, that I should go straight to brother's room, to the place he had been, had slept— my heart was bursting. A note on the pincushion caught my eye in a second, weeping blindly as I was. For me! I caught my breath and read: Dear Sister—l had hard work carrying out my little joke. I own a silver mine in N. M., that is panning out the equiva lent of that trifle every six weeks. Long may she pan! By the way, I took the lib erty of settling with your farmer, butch er. etc. Said that Wilt had sent me, hs being busy, so they will never know. Dove to the baby. Take a vacation at once. Pardon hasty scrawl. BROTHER LUCAS. P. S.—lf I come again noxt summer will you feed me on scrambled eggs? Will I? Just wait until he comes! Nervy. "I wanted some lump sugar," ex claimed the angry customer, as he looked over the packages. "What does that grocer mean by sending me soft sugar?" "Well," laughed the grocer's boy, as he moved nearer the door, "he said If you didn't like it you could lump it" HE CARRIEDTHE GOLDFISH HOME Or, Rather, He Meant to Do It, but Fate Was Against Him. When Clerk D. P. Conry of the West hotel won a bowl of goldfish in a raffle he was the produest man in the twin cities, lie bore liig prize triumphant ly into the hotel, aud everybody ad mired the fish. At last someone asked him what ho was going to do with them. Unfortunately, Mr. Conry had not j thought of that before. It was a wet, j rainy night, and the prospect of carry ing home a bowl of mixed water and j goldfish was not alluring. A thought i struck him. "I'm going to give them to Louis j Fay," he announced, shoving the drip j ping globe at his assistant. "You are not," said Mr. Fay, backing away. "J don't want them." "Then you just keep them for me to j night," suggested Mr. Conry. "I'll be j around first thing in the morning." But Mr. Fay wouldn't do that, either, unless Mr. Conry would put the fish in the safe and take a receipe. This Mr. | Conry hesitated at, because he had ; never heard of keeping goldfish in a I safe, so he tried to give the iish to each of the bellboys in turn, but with out success, Then he tried the bar j tender, the carpenter, the elevator boys and the engineer. Nobody want ! Ed goldfish. Finally, he had to start home with them. Few persons, however, have j ever attempted the feat of carrying a large bowl of goldfish wrapped in i paper, while standing on the platform of a crowded car. Mr. Conry was shoved and piflshed and jostled. And all the time he was getting wetter and wetter. "Seems to me," he said, "that this i is the wettest night I ever saw." When he got home tie prepared to j exhibit his prizes to an admiring cir cle. "I've got something here," he said, "that will almost tickle you to death. These are the rarest specimens ' of their kind in the whole world. Cost me $22.50 apiece, just because they were so rare." Then he unwrapped ! the package. I"I don't see anything but a piece of a glass bowl," said a bystander. "What!" ejaculated Mr. Conry, i grabbing at. the globe. But that's all it was. Somebody had j knocked the bottom out. —Minneapolis ! Journal. Bone Coal as Fuel. In the tests conducted at the fuel j testing plant at St.. Louis, Mo., and Norfolk, Va., to determine the values of different kinds of fuel for use in the gas-producer, the United States geological survey obtained some in teresting results with a bone coal which is found in West Virginia. Al though the fuel was found to be of lit tle value under the steam boiler, it gave good results in the gas-producer, where it developed a br§ke horse-pow er for each 1.65 pounds of coal con sumed in the producer. The luirg)s of coal were eight and ten inches in diameter. Some coal consisted of a high-grade bituminous coal, others ap peared to be simply lumps of a heavy and dry hard rock. All of these lumps except the largest, burn entirely through in the producer. There is no tendency to clinker or coke, and very litle stoking is required. There was a high percentage of about 45 per cent, of ash. With proper crushing and suit able attention the deposits of this fuel will prove to be decidedly valuable for I>roducer-gas plants. English Women Are Taller. That American women are consid erably shorter than their English sis ters was the dictum laid down by a ladies' tailor in a lawsuit in London in which Sydney Lyons sued a Canadian dressmaker for gowns he had supplied. The Canadian contended that the dresses were not "of American size." Some experts called to give testimony declared that models for gowns for English, French and American women are the same, but Dressmaker McKay of Toronto averred: "The English stock size would not fit anyone In America. They might fit giraffes, but not the women of Hamilton, Ontario. The length from the neck to waist of the American model is 14% inches and of the English 16 inches. The Ameri can shoulder seam is six inches and the English 4% inches." Unimpressed by these measurements the court gave Judgment for the English dressmaker UnsuccessfuJ Diagnosis. The man's cough grew worse, so he resorted to the physicians. "From the stomach, I think," said Dr. Simtom. "Pardon me, there is no such thing as a cough from the stomach," an swered Dr. Modern. "tfroin the effects of vaccination, 1 should say," announced Dr. Nature. "Indeed," replied his colleague, Dr. Serum, "let me remind you that (ex cept tetanus, blood poisoning and graft), there are no evil effects ol vaccination." "Well," said Dr. Experiment, "it is not to be expected that #e should all agree—" "On one thing we are agreed," cried Dr. Getrox, "that is to charge $5 apiece." But the widow refused to pay.—Life. Inconsistent. "I actually felt sorry for you when ! you proposed to me." "Your actions and your statement* don't seem to show that you care much for the truth." "I'd like to know why? I did feel 1 sorry for you." "Yet yon married me."—Houstor ' F*»t. j JONES PUT UP A SUBSTITUTE. And Incidentally Got Rep-jtation as After-Dinner Speaker. "If there is one thing I hate," re marked Mr. Jones, "it iB after-dinner speeches. Well, once I found myself at a big banquet, where I knew very few of those present. To my amaze ment and horror, toward the end of the festivities, the toastmaster fixed his eyes upon me. " 'We have with us to-night—' 1 heard the old, hated formula roll out unctuously from his lips—and then my own name—'Mr. Jones, the well known,' etc. "The toastmaster concluded, but I made no move to get on my feet. I felt paralyzed; my tongue was seeking to climb through the roof of my mouth. "And then the guests, from all sides, began yelling: 'Yes, Jones, Jones! which is Jones? —where is Jones?' "A brilliant idea came to me. Sit ting close beside me was a little man who dearly loved speechifying. Like a flash I jumped to my feet. 'Jones? Why, here's Jones!' I cried, and clapped the little Demosthenes oft the shoulder. Then I yanked him to his feet, murmuring in an ominous sotto voce: 'Don't give me away; speak I now!' "He spoke. And, in the guise of myself, he made a most successful little oration. There was loud ap plause and much shouting of 'What's the matter with Jones? He's all right!' "As for me, I sipped wine and gradu ally recovered from the nervous shock occasioned by my narrow escape from being eloquent." YOUTHFUL MIND IN DISTRESS. Awful Possibility That Loomed Before Six-Year-Old Jackie. Six-year-old Jackie's mother be lieved that absolute truthfulness was the only rock on which to build that youthful gentleman's character, and the consistent working out of this principle did away, of course, with be lief in all such things as fairies, Santa Claus, and other illusions dear to childish hearts, and they became in stead "make-believe" games, Santa Claus in particular being a pet "joke" between his mother and himself. Jackie came in from play one after noon much excited and concerned. "Mother, Jimmie Norton believes there is a really and truly Santa Claus. He says he is sure that Santa Claus does come down the chimney. He wouldn't believe me at all when I told him it was just a joke," with rising anxiety. Jackie's mother was somewhat non plused. "Well, son," she temporized, "perhaps Jimmie's mother will tell him the joke some time soon, and then—" "Oh, I hope she will," broke in Jackie, forgetting his manners in his earnestness, "because, you know, if she don't, when Jimmie has little boys of his own they won't ever get any Christmas presents." About Happiness. There is no more beneficial tonic than good, hearty laughter. It in flates the lungs and has a magic ef fect upon the system. Giggling is not laughing, and it is a habit that brings wrinkles and soon spoils even a'pret ty face. Why not laugh? It improves the appearance and makes one popu lar. There is nothing to be glum over, anil, if there is, being glum will not help it. Be happy and bright and everyone will wish to help you. The girl who wants to be beautiful must sleep with fresh air, plenty of it, in her room. She must go out and revel in the sunshine. She must find plenty of laughter in her daily life. That is the only true way to live and the only way capable of bringing beauty. Poetical Epitaph. The epitaph collector displayed en thusiastically the photograph of a se vere and stately marble tomb. "A new epitaph," he said, "and one of the best in my collection. It is the epitaph of a body of Indians slain in battle near Cooperstown. It was composed by a clergyman, W. W. Lord, and I consider it most poetical." The epitaph upon the tomb was as follows: "White Man, Greeting! We, near whose bones you stand, were Iroquois. "The wide land which is now yours was ours. "Friendly hands have given back to us enough for a tomb." Legal Amenities. Several decades ago there lived in Charleston, W. Va., a judge noted for his boorish manners. A very finical lawyer whom he especially disliked was once trying a case before him, and all the while the barrister spoke the Judge sat with his feet elevated on the railing in front of him hiding his face. Exasperated by this the lawyer queried: 'May I ask which end of your honor I am to address?" "Whichever you choose," drawled the judge: "Well," was the retort, "1 suppose there is as much law in one end as the other." Indisputable. Two tourists ou a personally con ducted tour were overheard talking together in the window of a Florence hotel overlooking the Arno. "This does not look to me like Ven ice," said the first. "I do not see a ■ingle gondola." "No," admitted her companion, "but It must be Venice. You know we wera to be in Venice on Wednesday."— i Harpers Monthly. , . ALASKAN BIRDS IN CALIFORNIA. i Strange Visitors Brought to San Ber nardino by Big Storm. At an early hour this morning sev eral flocks of strange birds numbering thousands came into the city on the wings of a big rain and wind storm, and this morning the bodies of m'any of the fowl were found lying inert in the downtown streets and in the parks, says a San Bernardino corre spondent of the San Francisco Chron icle. The air was filled last night with cries of strange fowl which, attracted by the electric lights, roosted upon the buildings or fell exhausted in the streets. Investigation to-day showed that many of the birds were of Alas kan variety, and the only accounting for their presence In this latitude is that, they were engaged in a long flight to the southern zones from their northern summer haunts and had been deterred from their route by heavy winds and rains. The most noticeable birds were the northern plialorpe and the night herons. The former birds are rarely seen outside of Alaska or in the far south. SHOCKED IN HAUNTED CHAMBER Sleepers' Fright, However, Was Not Caused by Ghosts. John Leech and a member of the Millais family once stayed a night at Cowdray ■ hall, in England, where, many guests being present, the two friends had no alternative but to ac cept beds in an isolated room sup posed to be haunted. In the middle of the night Millais awoke, believing that some giant was shaking him violently by the shoulder. This was supposed to be the favorite device of the ghost. He rushed into a corridor and found Leech sitting there trembling and declaring that he would not for the world go back to his room. They spent the remainder of the night in the corridor, but in the morn ing said nothing of their experiences. In the afternoon there arrived an evening paper telling of a violent earthquake in the locality. The earth quake was what the two visitors be lieved to be their ghost. "Navigates" His Farm, A story which almost parallels that told of Capt. Gray, the sailor-farmer of Toddy Pond, who is said to carry a compass on his plow to run the fur rows straight, comes from Cranberry isles. One sea captain, who enjoys the proud distinction of owning one of the very few horses on the island, got alarmed for fear that he would lose his bearihgs in the recent smoke, and on the veracious accounts of sober citizens took the binnacle from the vessel and strapped it alongside the seat of his wagon, fearing that the weather might become so thick that he would lose his bearings and have to navigate in what was worse than a fog. It is currently reported that he shouts at his team to turn to star board or port, instead of the more conventional landlubber terms usual ly employed. Kennebec (Me.) Journal. Shifting the Blame. According to all accounts the Cam eron Highlanders militia are a fine body of men physically. Not long ago four of them occupied the least crowd ed seat in a full compartment on a Scotland railway. Just as the train was moving off a diminutive little clergyman jumped into the compart ment, and tried to edge himself be tween two of the Highlanders. Not finding it very comfortable, he turned to the one on. his right, and said: "Sit up, piease. You know that according to act of parliament this seat hold 3 five." The Highlander looked at him for a moment, and then replied: "That may be a' richt enough for your kind, sir, but shairly ye canna' blame me for no bein' constructed according to act of parliament!" To Relieve His Feelings. Boldly displayed in black letters on thtf white gable of an unpretentious house on the road to Mount Stuart, Bute, Scotland, is the following in scription: "The Materials of This Out rage Are for Sale." According to the local historians, the announcement, as it stands, is the last word in a duel be tween neighbors. It is said that the house was built to obstruct the view of a gentleman who had been successful in getting an In terdict to prevent the owner from en closing the foreshore. But after the death of the builder the house came into the market and was purchased by the other gentleman, who now seeks to express his wounded feelings in paint. Small Boy's Adaptation. "Things aren't always what they sound," remarked that very clever devil, Edwin Stevens, in Henry Sav age's production, as he drew a patent leather shoe over his cloven hoof. "A j teacher of niy kid days put this puzzle , to us once: " 'Now, boys, the word 'stan" at the , end of a word means "place of." Thus we have Afghanistan, the place of Af- j ghans; also Hlndoostan, tho place of ] the Hindoos. Now, can any one give , me another instance?' , " 'Yes, sir,' said the smallest boy, j proudly, '1 can—umbrellastan, the piace for umbrellas.'" A Little Learning. , Earnest Female—Professor, I hear you are a great ornithologist. ( Professor—l am an ornithologist, madam. I Earnest Female—Then cotrld yoa \ kindly tell me t,he botanical name tor , a whale? I WARNED BY THE PHOTOGRAPH. Disciplinary Measure Ad_,jtcd by Woman of Ser>ee. "Above niv desk." said the woman who does not lio about her age, "I keep an uncomplimentary photograph of myself. I keep it there as a dis ciplinary measure. H prevents frivol ity. My present photographic mon itor makes me look about 70 years old. lam not 70, hut lam more than half that age, and I look every day of ray actual years. But I don't feel that. old. (Jay and giddy exploits still attract me. Pleasures, diversions, liirt ations thai for a young girl are per fectly legitimate, appeal to me, also, yet if 1 should rush into those gay eties as a girl does my behavior would be characterized as foolishness. Every day 1 hear the actions of wom en younger looking than myself so de scribed. "'Just look at that old thing' the critics say. 'Doesn't she act idio:ic?' "Then I come home and study this photograph. That destroys whatever inclination I may have had to IK have like a 16-year-old. 1 never write a letter to a man friend —1 never make an engagement without keeping an eye on that photograph. " 'Don't be a fool,' says that vera cious guide. 'You can't afford to do that.' "So I temper ardent phrases and tone down ebullient spirits generally." , BORE LOVE LOCK CF EMPEROR. Coin Struck During Napoleon lil.'s Reign Now Valuable. There is a singular story in con nection with a coin of the third Napo leon. While Louis Napoleon was prince president of France, just before he made himself empercr, a decree was issued ordering a five-franc piece to be coined bearing his image. The dies were made, and one coin was struck off as a sample and sent to the prince president for his ap proval. But some time passed before he examined it. When at last he gave it his attention he was annoyed to find that he had been represented on the coin with a love lock, or hooked lock of hair on the temple, which lie act ually did wear at that period, but which he thought unsuitable to so dig nified and permanent a representa tion of himself as an effigy on a coin. The prince president sent for the director of the mint and ordered him to remove the love lock. Then ho found that his silence with regard to the piece had been taken for approval, and that the stamping of the coins had begun. The work was slopped and the image deprived of its undignified lock. But the 23 coins that, had al ready been struck off were not de stroyed and are now regarded as of great value. The Public Eye. In a little more we came to an open space, very thronged. "The Public .Eye!" shouted the megaphone man of our party. There were some curious people within the space, but even more curi ous were those just outside. Of these latter we thought certain women especially interesting; they were buaiiy neglecting their families in order to get into the Public Eye. A pathos attached to another group of women who had been in the Public Eye and could never be happy out. of it, though they couldn't in the least tell why. Positively funny were a few men who kept trying, by a variety of droll devices, to break into the Public Eye. "Vice-presidential candidates!" our megaphone man explained.—Puck. Three Sabbaths Every Week. Morocco is a country of many Sab baths. The first three days I spent in Tangier were all Sabbaths. Arriving on a Thursday night the next day was Friday, the Mohammedan Sabbath, which was followed by the Jewish Sabbath—the Hebrew element in Tan gier is considerable and strict in re ligious observance —and that in turn by the Christian Sunday. Subsequent comparisons, however, revealed little difference between any days of the week. On the Mohammedan Sabbath a black flag is hoisted on the minarets at the prayer of dawn, instead of the white flag that announces the time of devotions on other days. It re mains up until the middle of the fore noon, by which time everybody is sup posed to have found out what day it is.—N. Y. Post. The Better Part. A delightful little story is fold of Prosper Merimee, the French author. He was once guest at a royal hunt, when hares, pheasants and other game were driven before the emperor and his followers, and the servants picked up the victims of the sport. Among all the members of the hunt ing party. Prosper Merimee alone had no trophy to display. "How does this happen?" asked Bome one. "Where game is so plenty, the mer it of a marksman seems to me to lie in hitting nothing," replied Merimee, with grave courtesy, "so I fired be tween the birds."—Youth's Compan ion. Ups and Downs. "Matrimony has its ups and downs," remarked the scanty haired benedict. "What's the answer?" queried th® confirmed bachelor. "It keeps the wife busy trying to keep up appearances and the husband busy trying to keep down expenses." replied the other with a large, open face sigh.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers