A New Year's Bureau of Chivalry By MILTON MARKS ENTLEMEN, it is New Year's Eve! And fur thermore, on general principles 1 believe vx®l tlmt the time has come Wu~ V9 whenthe ii° n ° r ° f ° ur JSMI( sJhB club demands that sev ff| V K|* eraliy and jointly we rfTWps-V shall devote our bach ml? elor energies t0 the jjjj neglected cause of ' chivalry." The speaker brought his fist down with such a thump upon the table at bis elbow that a glass that had stood too near the edge rolled off and broke In bits upon the hearth tiling. Each occupant of the club room started per ceptibly in his easy chair. Nervous Mr. Emmet Keene dropped his news paper in alarm. Solemn, dark-eyed Mr. Warren Gloom forgot to light his cigar, and held the lighted match in his hand until it burned the ends of his long, lank fingers. Ex-AJderman Samuel Hiller tortured his face with one of his homely, laconic smiles and stroked his chin with aggravating cautiousness. These and all the other occupants of the room directed their attention to the speaker, Gen. Fries- Lie Wiggins, and waited for him to continue. That he was in earnest was apparent at a glance. His rather fleshy face was flushed, his tuft of chin whiskers showed some signs of agi tation and his eyes had a look of kind ly seriousness. "Gentlemen," he continued, "you have read the newspapers. You are well aware of the great stir which has followed the appeal of that admir able club woman, Mrs. Dexter Bloom, for protection for the members of her eex who have occasion to walk alone amid the dangers and iniquities of our city streets. Could any sensible man be insensible to such an appeal? 1 speak with all seriousness, Mr. Hiller. I believe that the time has come for us as individuals and as a club to act. There is more in this matter than the newspaper humorists see. In spite of the fact that we are bachelors, I be lieve we stand ever for the best inter ests of woman—" "Because we are bachelors, I should Bay, Gen. Wiggins," remarked Mr. liiller, with a grimace. "We stand, I say," resumed the gen eral, "for the best interests of woman kind. Indeed, for a quarter century the Bachelor club has never been the last to lend its influence to any war fare against that which does not make for a better and a safer city. Again, the time has come for action. There has been some talk of establishing a bureau that shall supply maiden ladies of good character with reliable and agreeable escorts, 'the idea is taken humorously, but is there not some thing in it worthy of thoughtful at tention, even the attention of —the Bachelor club?" "Bravo!" exclaimed Mr. Keene. "Bravo!" echoed the other members, who had now gathered in an amused and admiring' circle about the respect ed and "csourceful general. "Ultimately, of course," continued the general, pleased at this exhibition of loyalty, "it would be our purpose to TII ERE ENTERED AN* APPARITION THATSEEMEDTO HAVK A DOtUI.E IN THE STOREHOUSE OF HIS MEMORY. have an organized bureau which would send out agreeable and dignified pro fessional escorts on call. But, gentle men, everything must have a begin ning. We must in some manner have the ear of our Swampucket society on this subject. We must apprise the fair Bex of our purpose. They must know that our personal integrity is behind this movement. We must at first be willing to act personally in this mat t« r. Our <My is not KO large that our efforts will lie misinterpreted, nor is It so small that our every a<t will be everybody's corn crn. And now I pro pose to you, geutlemen, as a means of launching this enterprise, that the members of this t lub to morrow, iu B<> me apptoju iaie manner, place tuem ■elves a', the tlii-i osal of the unaitend tin atiinUK Ihe - ill If- hex of our > lets |-i thU city Could there be it , more propitliiiß for iiuuchlng MI h a movement.' Geiub ni'u u h \,W Yeai • Kve N> eil I a K for volun teem*" It were aim »t ln>] • ■**lble talitifuliy lo «!• 'til' tilt i mot lon* then ter <l'' word* of Gen. WtKglns arouse | 111 lite elr l*i of h'tcltoloin if »! sur rouudi d liini Home smiled, ime or t*o "ha a u»*ed. oju.i- y ,i,i hu I each other slyly in tue ribs; but a half hour of discussion and planning was enough to promise tho enlistment, on one ground or another, of every mem ber present. It need scarcely be added, however, that it was well into the night before the new bureau of chiv alry was by all present thoroughly un derstood to be a perfected organization. Before the plans were complete Wil liam, the one hired attendant waom the club boasted, had been many times requested to pile more wood on the open hearth blaze as a means of de fying the encroachments of the New Year's cold, which did what it could to entomb the gayety within the an cient but distinguished frame residence that served as a clubhouse, by cover ing all window panes with a quarter inch of hoar frost, except maybe hero and there a peephole through which an outsider might catch a glimpse of a red dancing flame of the jolly fire. Otherwise, no heed was paid by the originators of the bureau of chivalry to the new fall of snow in the early part of the evening nor to the cold which succeeded it when the moon came up. When at last still small "SHE WILI-. LOOK AFTER ME HER SELF-OR, THAT IS TO SAY—" voices began to whisper in the ears of those whose habits were most reg ular, warning them that it was high time they betook themselves to bed, the plans for the morrow were fairly complete. The day dawned bright and clear. The snow was fine and hard and gave back a thousand sparkles for every glance from the bedroom window of the early riser. The ladies of Swam pucket knew nothing of what was in store for them, but rose early to finish their New Year's cake and candy mak ing and to attend to the thousand de tails of this day of nut cracking, and corn popping, and apple baking. Soon after breakfast numerous tall and som ber figures, but all with sprightly gaits, might have been seen wending their way to a common rendezvous at the Bachelor club, and doubtless they were noticed by many, but the real alarm did not begin to be sounded by Swam pucket society until the doorbells be gan a tingle, tingle, tingle, that .jrew more frequent as the day wore on. Her first caller took Miss Clarissa Frey entirely by surprise. As she aft erwards explained, she felt as if the tide of time had taken her tip bodily and set her back 30 years. When the doorbell rang she was not prepared for callers, being dressed, indeed, in hor wrapper; but when a peek through a side window had revealed the fact that her caller (world on end!) was Air. Emmet Keene. dressed in keeping with a bygone style of chivalry which she well remembered, even to the llar ing white collar and black tie and the gold-headed cans, she flew with maid enly agitation to tho very garret, leav ing his admittance to others while she. alive to the spirit of the occasion, decked herself out with a wonder of a hoop skirt, which her niece Phoebe had planned to wear that very night at a New Year's amateur play. Emmet Keene never had got ahead of Clarissa Frey, and he wouldn't do so at this late day if she could help it. Air. Keene was somewhat lakrn at ack when, after a considerable delay, there entered the drawing-room an appari tion that seemed to have a double in the storehouse of his memory. lie tried to account for HO years gone by but for the life or him could not make it more than 20 in the figure before him He had to admit, as he had done in times past, that Clarissa Frey was a remarkable woman After the »' x change of New Year's greetings and gossip Mr. Keene tried to explain the organization and purposes of the new bureau of chivalry, "a new—er~ de parture of the Bachelor club" a-; he explained, with nervousness. tint somehow the point didn't carry. By inadvertent mention of the fact that the departure was founded upon the milch discussed plea fur protecMon from Mrs. Dexter Hloom. he fo :ml him self launched upon a deep and ethical discussion of women's clubs which ended only with the tingle of the doorbell, armotin lug the arrival of a fellow clubman, and indlcni ng that Mi' Keene «us not properly ap portioning th- time at bis disposal among the members of the fair vex on Ins list. Mrs. |)e\tet- |<loom wa a widow of considerable dignity and ai: emissive Intellect It cuniiot I i ifi) ih it <ihe rsveaUd any signs of uttHatloii w.t«n UvfU. 11 ieabts Wijigitis a,u uuiiouu, <.d CAMERON COUNTY PRESS, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21, 1905. She was not subject to surpr'se. Much progresslveness had made her immune. Also there may have ueeu another reason —but that is anticipat ing the climax of a New Year's night's "spread," to which the Bachelor club took it upon itself to invite Swam pucket society in the course of the day's calls. But Mrs. Dexter Bloom, despite her complacency, was quite sensible of Gen. Friesbie Wiggins' commanding and graceful appearance as he stood on the threshold, silk hat in hand, meeting the half-mktuial, half-induced blush on her face with the bow of a courtier —but he shall be left to make his own call. The theme of interest in the Globe office that night and in various o'.her quarters was the impromptu "spread" of the Bachelor club. The compositors were put to work setting up the "kid" reporter's spirited story of the day's New Year's calls, which was to have as a heading: "Old Boys Frolic." The thing was done up brown, fhe organization of the bureau of chivalry was hinted at, and liberal space was left for whatever might develop at the spread. In the end a second story was written to cover the latter, for everybody said it was well worth it. The Bachelor club opened its aos pitable doors and kept them swinging until the place was fairly bursting with New Year's jollity, laughter and repartee—not to mention coffee and cake and good things to eat. as a little girl added who was present. Then, too, there was more romance in tne air than the staid bachelor upholstery and hangings had absorbed in many a year. The curiosity of some of the fair sex having been aroused by sundry inade quate references that had been dropped during the day to the organ ization and purposes of the proposed bureau of chivalry, it was naturally expected that the matter would be ex plained in full at. the banquet. The members of the Bachelor club were somewhat divided as to how much of their plans on this score should be made public. It had at first been thought advisable to wait until the banquet and then to make a general announcement, for, to be effective, the purposes of the bureau ought to be known to those who would require 'he services of the professional escorts which it would supply. But some members thought this would bring un pleasant publicity at the present per sonal stage of the proceedings, and that it would be best for the members to drop appropriate hints while mak ing their New Year's calls. But the experience of Mr. Emmet Keene in divulging the matter seemed to have been the experience of nearly all who had essayed the embarrassing task. Nor had the general embarrassment of the situation visibly decreased by the time the coffee had been reached that New Y'ear's night. Ex-Alderman Samuel Hiller. as a ready speaker, was urged by those near him at tanle to divulge the details of the club's mysterious plan. But in a speech that was considered felicitous, he re ferred the whole matter to the origin ator of the plan, "to the esteemed and confirmed member of our ciub. Gen. Friesbie Wiggins." That gentle man appeared to be visibly affected by the task confronting him. He stam mered: "Fellow members of the Bachelor club, it grieves me" —he checked him self and looked hastily at Mrs. Bloom at his side, whose natural color was heightened to that of a peony, "that is to say, it gives me pleasure." He paused again, this time to wipe the gathering beads of perspiration from his forehead. Drawing himself to gether. he started again: "As the poet said, the best laid plans of ruice and men—Well, the fact is, boys, the plan has its drawbacks. I've talked it over with Mrs. Illoom. and she savs that as far as the personal elemeni is concerned, she thinks she will look j after mo herself —or, that is to say," | but he never got farther, and fell back i into his chair amid vociferous tries of "traitor!" and the enthusiastic ap plause of the fair sex. A STRONG INCENTIVE. & I Mumper—l hear that tho aM'.iin k"eper.-> have resolved to atop tt>e -us | torn of glvin;; bottles of liquor to their customers for New Year's preaen's Bumper They have, have th>y? Then hang nie If I don't stick to my j New Year's res ilutlon this lime. He Imparts Information. I.mil Ki "-I Miuiuiia told Freddy I that If In wasn't g >Ol H iiiia (.'lams ! wouldn't britg hiiii anything Won't I h<?T Little t;«oig. oh! Mamma < ju»i | throwing 4 bi'uro Into Freddy, and be* | o little ID- don't know any better Santa i Ciaust li ttv> >o 1 thing!! wlu-Uui you'rt i fcoud er not!- Puck. LOYALTY TO EMPLOYERS. Remarkable Record of Railroad Men in an Emergency of Gravest Character. The well-known writer on railroad subjects, Mr. Frank H. Spearman, in his book entitled, "The Strategy of Great Railroads," describes the surprise of the general manage; of one of the east ern trunk lines, on a hunting trip in the north woods, who suddenly found him self on the right of wiy of a splendid well-built railway line, apparently of a construction and equipment similar to the New York Central or Pennsylvania, along which thundered in quick succes sion heavy trains of iron ore, splendid passenger equipment and general freight service of surprising propor tions. . This was the Peninsula division of the Chicago & Northwestern railway which covers the upper peninsula of Michi gan, including the hardwood district and Lake Superior iron and copper re gion. with a surprisingly efficient net work of lines that connect the mines and forests with important lake ports, and with through rail service to and from the outer world. Along this busy ore-carrying line a splendid exposition of the loyalty, in telligence and general good team work that can be expected of the average rail road man and the efficiency of the rules laid down for his guidance in an emer gency, was given a few days ago. which so greatly pleased the superintendent and other officials that the story has finally crept into public print, and it is well worth repetition in these columns. It was all occasioned by a very heavy sleet storm that fell in the upper pe ninsula, which threw down practically every telegraph line in the region in a few hours, and left the 4G4 miles of the division absolutely without telegraphic service for no less than 4S hours. The ore movement has been especially heavy this year, more Lake Superior ore being transported on the grea; lakes than ever before in the history of the iron industry, and in this emergency every mine would have to shut down on account of the shortage of railway cars to move their product unless the road was kept open in spite of the storm. There was nothing that could be done by the chief train dispatcher; both he and the division superintendent were temporarily out of the game. It was one of these emergencies where the"man behind the gun" must make good, or the case was a hopeless one. And make jood he did. in true blue, loyal style, with that splendid initiative that makes the average train crew typical of t he qualities we admire in our American troops. There was no way in which to get or ! ders for train movements, no means by J which division headquarters could be kept advised of where their trains were, ! and, to the onlooker, no means existed j by which the train crew could keep i track of the whereabouts of trains in the j opposite direction. It was an emer ! gency of the gravest character, and was J met with a splendid exhibition of good ; judgment and intelligent grasp of th<> science of railroad operation that is per i haps without an equal. They managed, j on a single track line, without telegraph lines, for two whole days and nights, to j keep every iron and copper mine in the | district supplied with equipment, and j moved all trains practically on time. There were 4.971 cars moved over the ! division Friday and Saturday. October 20 and 21, and 125 freight trains and no i less than :!4 passenger trains were taken | care of upon the division, all handled on time on a single track, without accident, mishap or delay, and without the help of a train dispatcher. Can anyone beat that record of loy alty to employers, hard work and intel ligent grasp of conditions? -Any man who has ever handled the train movement of a busy railway di vision will appreciate how very much is involved in the work these trainmen did, hurrying to and fro over sleet covered cars, keeping cool, and ready to meet every emergency by application of the operating rules provided for their guidance. Origin of Railway Whistles. Locomotives, 75 years ago. had no whistles. The engineer kept by his Bide a tin horn, which he blew be fore curves and dangerous crossings, liut the noise was feeble. In 18;i:i an English farmer's cart was run down on the way to market, and 1.000 eggs. 100 pounds of butter, two horses and a man were lumped in one great omelet on the rails. The railway hau to pay the damages. The president sent for George Stevenson, and said, angrily: "Our engineers can't blow their horns loud enough to clear the tracks ahead. You have made ,\our steam do so much —why don't you make it blow a good, loud horn for us?" Stevenson pondered. An idea came to him. He visited a musical Instrument maker, and had construct ed a horn that gave a horrible screech when blown by steam. From this horn the locomotive whistle ot' 10-day descends. Stand Work Well. Railroad magnates are generally supposed to be hard workers, but many of them seem to stand it very well. James J. Hill is 67, A. J. ('assail, is 00. Marvin llughitt is Ot and 10. T. Jeffrey, Row well Miller ami Thomas l,oury own up to 02 each. Of 17 of the most prominent railroad men in ihe country i.ot one is under 5o yeais old. Cars of Wood and Stael. Owiir-; lo Inability of the old wo >den freight cat to i.tand tli iiiijiai t Of modern sie. l cars a rule has been j adopted on the western lines that ears of up and below IJO.OOO pounds cttpat - l y nhull not be pia-ed ahead of the] stctl CUIJ iu making uy trains. PERFECT LAND OF PROMISE Section of Kansas That Possesses UU" common Attractions for Farmers. Down in southwestern Kansas, sotas hundred miles or so below is a veritable "promised land" flow ing in milk and honey, and destined some day to take a prominent place in the top-notch farming country of the great southwest. Here is what a recent enthusiastic visitor says about it: "In the first place the farmers of this section, with the assistance of the great experimental farms and re searches of the agricultural depart ments of the government and of tho state, have found out what the Lord made this country for, and they are getting rich. "For five kinds of African corn, dark and light, Kaffir, Jerusalem corn, milo maize and dwarf maize, for four kinds of cane (sorghum), for Texas red oats, for beardless barley, durum wheat and alfalfa, this country is proving as sure a crop country as lowa and Illinois are for corn and other cereals needing from 30 to 40 inches of rainfall. "One township alone in Meade coun ty this year shows by assessors' re turns more than 23,000 acres of winter wheat in splendid condition and a large acreage being planted in durum or macaroni wheat this spring. In all of the counties in this section the wheat is very fine and a very much increased acreage over last year. It is 'the Artesian valley of Meade county' that makes it famous. It is a sort of freak formation, found only here. "Crooked creek or Snake creek, as the Indians called it, is one of the several forks that, coming together, form the Cimmaron river. At Meade, a stone could easily be thrown across the val ley. From this point it widens out un til it is about 12 miles wide some eight or ten miles above Meade. It then nar rows again for ten or 15 miles, making an average width of perhaps five or six miles for some 25 miles. This is all free alluvial soil, underlaid with sheet water, which is within easy reach of alfalfa roots. In other words, it is a true sub irrigated district. This sheet water is from five to forty feet from the surface. Twenty thousand acres of alfalfa now growing in this valley from one to ten years old, illustrates the subject much better than it can be told. "Below this stratum of sheet water at from 85 to 275 feet, artesian water is found. There are something like 2,000 of these wells now flowing in the val ley. They are put down at a nominal ex pense. The water is pure and soft and has a temperature of 60 degrees summer and winter. There are from 110 to 125 sections of this land. I am familiar with the country in New Mexico and else where that is on the market as alfalfa land, and I feel that I know that right here in Meade county. Kan., are better values multiplied several times than can be obtained elsewhere. I look to see this section of the country, in the not far distant future, recognized as among the most valuable lands in the United States." FLESH AND BLOOD MACHINE The Human Element in Handling Railroad Trains Increases Banger. When a railroad train is going to wreck itself, it really does not make any appreciable difference whether that train is running at 60 miles an hour or 40 miles an hour. The real difference is in regard to the human machines that handle the trains, says the Hartford Courant. A locomotive engine is a dumb thing, without the sense of hurry and respon sibility. and whether its wheels revolve with greater or less rapidity is all the same to it, so long as it does not break down. But the engineer, the switch tender. the train dispatcher, and soon, all have nerves, and these nerves are subjected to an increased strain with every serious increase in the regular rate of speed. This is the real danger point with the fast trains between New York and Chicago. Our American railroads kill a good many people every year when running at what may be called a normal rate of speed; and this means, at least in the case of half the accidents, that some body's nerves have been overtrained and overstrained. If the human element in handling railroad trains could be made as insensible to outside demands as the locomotives are, one chief obstacle in the way of plans for great increases of speed would be done away with. Dangerous Railroad Travel. A newspaper writer, meeting Lord Brassey at Bed Hank, N. J., asked the distinguished foreigner if he feared to travel 011 American railroads. "Oh. no." Lord Brassey answered, "your American railroads kill a good many people in tne year's course, but we must remember that they carry a i-ood many people a good many miles, in proportion, probably, they do no niore damage than the railroads of France or of Scotland. "The famous l)r. Norman Macleod was once about to set off on a long railway journey through Scotland. Just as the train was pulling out the clergyman's servant put his bead in through the window and said: " 'Ha'e ye ta'en an insurance ticket?' ""I have." aid the doctor. " - Tli n.' said the servant, 'write yer name on it and gi'e It to me. They ha'e an awfu' bad habit o' robbin' the i orp>' > on Oils line.'N. Y Tribune. In a Better Wny. Pete I see one of the leading inln isit.4 wii ■ a biakeman 011 a railroad at one time. I'm I miipoue he Is still doing coupling t'lfvelaud Leader. His Poor Shins. Mrs. Kronnick—Really, my dear. must get a dressing (able for the IK4 room. Mr. Kronnick—No. madam, there'; too much furniture there already. Mrs. Kronnick (sarcastically)—ln deed? And how did you discover tha fact? Mr. Kronnick—By bumping Into ! all when I got up last night to get match.—Philadelphia Press. Like the Original. Mr. Deßrush—What is there abot my portrait of you that you don't lik madam ? ' Mrs. Dobbdon —I don't like (he colo ing in the face. It doesn't look na ural. Mr. Deßrush—l didn't try to mal it look natural. You said you want< it trus to life. —Cleveland Leader. Changed Shops. The dog-pound—horrors!—ls next dooi To the butcher shop, I've found; Now ( shall never more Buy sausage by the pound! —Cleveland Leader. PARADOXICAL. [T]TTT] ' Hiram Milkweed —What are the pi 9f your rooms? Hotel Clerk—The highest are the) est and the lowest are the highest.—l adelphia Press. Wise Buyers. The Christmas shopping days have c The best of all the year. When early buyers make things hum And countless counters clear. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. She Bit Her Lips. Mother (suspiciously)— What m your lips so red? Has that y man— Sweet Girl—No, he hasn't. If mj are red. it's because I've been b them. I was mad. "Mad because he tried lo kiss > '"No.' Because he didn't."— Weekly. Was It Possible? "Did you see the f cotball game "Sure." "How was it?" "Great! It rained and the pi were plastered with mud from hf foot, but they played a nice game."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. More Interesting. A correspondent of a Kansas asks "Why are all millionaires sent 3 1 to be either fat or baldhea But a question that interests good deal more is "Why are i and baldheaded men rot milliona —Cleveland Plain Dealer. The Exception. "Everything goes up in antici of the holiday trade." "Not everything." "I'd like to know one thin doesn't?" "The mercury."—Cleveland Dealer. Careless Man. "Yes, he's engaged to Miss E "How did it happen?" "He remarked (hat he would have love than riches, and shi strangle hold on him before h side-step."—Houston Post. A Constant Surprise. Mamma —I'm surprised a Johnny Johnny (thoughtfully)—l wc you'll ever get. used to me. n You're always surprised at n Bits. Another Record. Re.ld—My chauffeur's made record. Greene —V ou don't say! "Yes; been lined eight tim' days for speeding."—Yonkers man. As a Matter of Econom "Why do you print so man stories in your magazine?" "Well, I'll be honestr-Avfth do it to save the cjrst of hir readers." —Chicago Record-He Peace Offering. "I just wonder what presen band will bring me to-night, "Why, is it your birthday' "N>, but we had a quarrel ( lng."—Cleveland Leader. Hot Stuff. The Sun had broken out I spot. "That's where I have the of the leopard," chuckled t Chl.'dgo Tribune. Culture. "MISH Elderlelgh Is such and cultured girl. Isn't she?" "Yes. She even calls It mutton sleeve." "—Chicago Herald At'ter the Horse Sin He— lK> yuii love nie? Kh«' Well, I hboulu Just fown Topics.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers