THE COLUMBIAN, BLOOMsBURG, PA. ip us Makes a Sunday Show on the Roof of liis Home. UNIQUE LIVING PICTURE Chivalrous" Efforts' to Rescue an Imper illed Housemaid While the Neigh bors Looked On Ingenious Device That Won Him Fam Whon Jones berame a suburbanite In the Oranges It was with Rome mis giving. Hut he found the neighbors congenial and then he thought he would like It. Then came the Sunday uiornlng when he slept late. He was awakened by a tremendous rapping on his door. "t.et up! ("Jet up!" cried his wife. "Mary is stranded oa the roof!" Mary was the housemaid, a woman of Immense beam and great depth. Mary had decided that morning that a rug needed dusting. She was shaking It out Of the window when it slipped from her grasp and slid down the root of the extension. Without thinking of conseiiucnrrs, Mury crawled down the roof to the edge and got the rug. Then she looked back. A few seconds' contemplation of the ang'e ord the smoothness of the roof convinced her that without a mountain stick and guides and ropes there was no hope for her In return ing the way she came. She surveyed the surrounding landscape and then peeped over the edge of the roof. That, didn't reassure her. A careful measurement would have made the distance from the roof to the ground about thirty feet. Then she screamed. "Help! Oh, Mrs. Jones! Police!" Mrs. .(ones looked over the situation, became frightened and woke up her husband. Hy the time Jones had donned n dressing gown and appeared at the window, most of his neighbors and their servants were around the house shouting advice to Mary. At the sight of Jones's tousled head and blinky eyes, they set up a cheer that echoed and re-echoed among the hills. Jones was not pleased a bit by the demonstration. He thought he detect ed a Jarring note In the cheers. The work of rescue had to be done, how ever, and Jones pulled himself to gether. "Oet a ladder," he shouted, and waited for his command to be obeyed. Some one found a three-foot ladder and It whs brought around to the ex tension. When Jones thought It was In place ho told Mary to step over the idge of the roof and cn to the lad lor. Mary peeked over and saw the rpladder twenty-seven feet away. "(iraclous. Mr. Jones," she shouted, I can't reach that." "Why not?" demanded Jones, who as tired of being a living picture for ala fellow townsmen. "It's too far away," explained Mary, and to convince Jones willing hands In the crowd held up the stunted ladder for Jones to look at. With a roar Jones retired, while the crowd cheered again. Mary, left alone, began screaming with so mucli vigor that the crowd informed Jones in chorus that he was Inhuman, but nobody made an attempt to help him out of his predicament, aside from making suggestions, some of which were intended to be humorous and others sarcastic. Jones stormed around the house for a while, becoming angrier every min ute, and then remembered that In the cellar he had a rope which he had used in packing furniture when he moved from the city. Jones threw the rope to Mary and told her to tie It around her waist. Mary wan a little squeamish as to what would happen after that and Jones had to explain. The crowd up roariously approved of the plan, which gave Jones some doubts about its outcome. He told Mary that after she had tied the rope around her waist he would keep It taut and she could walk up the roof using the rope 48 a sort of brace. The scheme didn't seem to strike Mary as the most brilliant in tie world, but she obeyed her master's in structions. Hy the time she had the rope fastened securely around her ex pansive waist Jones had been dragged half-way out of the window. There was not enenigh rope to encircle Mary's waist and at the same time give Jones leeway, so she had to untie the rope to allow him to climb back into the house. If a circus had struck town Jones's fellow citizens that Is not the phrase be uses to describe tbem couldn't have been more pleased. They howled at Jones until bis ears began to ache. Jones bunted around the house for more rope. He bad to upset every thing In the cellar to get it, but final ly found a piece that, added to the Brst piece, would be enough to let him ' stay Indoors while Mary put It around her walat. The crowd waa pretty tired when Jones appeared at the window the third time, and he waa permitted to throw the rope to Mary with a few weak cheers. The scheme was a great success. Mary, with some trepidation, to be sure, walked up the roof with the as sistance of the rope and Jones, and when she got to the top be "flung her in the window," as he explained to his city friends afterward. To make matters worse a marked copy of the newspaper was sent to Jones's office. Now he has pence neither at home nor at work. If be can get his wife to consent lie in going to sir up his suburban home. M. Y. Sun. APPLAUDED HIS SPEECH. A Good Joke on Himself Told by Sena tor Smoot of Utah, According to tho chroniclers, Sena tor Heed Smoot is not much of a politician, nor yet a Hanlcl Webster when It comes to oratory. He was assigned by his Kopublican Central Committee, therefore, to deliver his maiden effort before the foreigners In a southern t'tah village. Ills advent had been widely heralded, and the hall In which the meeting was to be held was crowded with swarthy Swed ish farmers when Mr. Smoot turned on his eloquence. The npplause was not all that he had expected. Only one person, an Old man on the front row, seemed ex- coptlonally Interested. He applauded wildly, laughed at all the speaker's Jokes and manifested every sign of excited appreciation. After Mr. Smoot had finlshod, his enthusiastic auditor arose to speak. Feeling grateful the Senator deter mined to show his appreciation in like manner. The old man's remarks were entirely In Swedish, which was, to Mr. Smooth, denser than Greek, but noi to be outdone, Mr. Smooth, fol lowed the Inflections of the speaker's voice and whenever he thought ft cliiiiax was reached led the applause wildly. "I cheered and stamped on the floor In a most undignitlcd manner," i said Mr. Smoot, In relating the story, ' "and I was at a loss to understand the curious looks centred upon me. 1 I'Mnallv a ,On nlMUn lAki,.., I x I -j, mi niiiiug UUUIUU Jtrttlltfll foiwnrd and Inquired if 1 understood the speaker. "Not a word,' I confessed, 'but It's a good speech, Isn't It?' 'Well,' he replied, 'you may be in terested to know that he's translating your speech. None of these people understand English.' " A Terrible Tiger Fight. A desperate encounter with a tiger, resulting in the death of Mr. C. A. Pelham Hogers, Assistant Commis sioner of Chanda (India), Is recorded In the Pioneer of India. Mr. Hogers was out after a tiger at a place called Homragarb, on April 22, nnd wounded the animal, hitting It In the forefoot The next day Mr. Hogers had an at tack of fever and could not go out; but on tho 24th he took up the pur suit, and his men having ascertained exactly where the tiger was lying, he boldly proceeded to walk it up. The tiger charged him suddenly, but he managed to get in two shots, brenklng one or both of the beast's laws. It seized him, neverthe'ess, and a pro tracted struggle ensued; the disabled tiger, with Its Jaw and one paw shat tered, being deprived of Its most formidable powers of mischief. Mean- while, Mr. Hogers's "syce." who had accompanied his master with n spare 12-bore gun, nnd solid bullets, opened fire on the tiger, and after ten or twelve shots succeeded In dispatching it. Unfortunately one of these bit the sportsman, Inflicting a severe llesh wound In the thigh. When delivered from tho tiger Mr. Hogers was found to have sustained a terrible clawing, scarcely a part of his body having es caped, lie was almost scalped, and his right arm especially was badlv torn. Nevertheless, he retained con sciousness, and after a long and dis tressing journey of 120 miles, was conveyed to Chanda, where he died rrom exhaustion six davs after thn i accident. Character in Necks, Wise persons are always discovering some occult kep to feminine charac ter. Tests applied to the shape, tex ture and color of a woman's hands, of her feet, of her eyes and of her hair, show virtues and shortcomings In uer nature. The woman with the swan like nock is said to be a creature wIiobo mentality, to use a modern In vention In words, dominates her ex istence. Physically delicate, the long necked woman Ib mentally much alert, tut sensitive to an extraordinary de gree. She Is timid and suspicious, yet, where her trust is betrayed, bears her woe In silence without a sign. The throat that denotes obstinacy is short and thick and usually belongs to the girl with athletic shoulders and not many Inches In stature. The girl with anatomical traits of this sort is extremely good-natured, though she obtains her own way by persistence. She Is alHO noted for her executive ability, and on this account does not mind mounting plntforms or organiz ing societies that will help her sex a step forward on the road to complete emancipation. Chicago Tribune. Brief and from the Heart. IJttlo Alice always said her prayers egularly before going to bed. One night, however, as she rested her head on the pillow, she remarked, In a questioning way; "Mamma, my prayers are so much longer than the one nurse says in the morning. Can't I say bers when I'm tired?" "Does the nurse pray in the morn ing?" asked the mother, with a puz iled look. "Yes," said Alice sweetly. "She says, 'Lord, have I got to get up?' " Two-year-old Willie, who takes a ride every evening upon his father's shoulders, Is always demanding a I change of scenery, and thus keeps the ' old man wondering where under the un he'll go next. Diamonds were first brought from the East where tbe mine of Sumbul- pour was the first known, nnd where the mines of Oolconda were first dis covered In the year 1584, those of Brazil In 1728. i Hi! HI DR The Justice Insisted on Land ing His Big Fish. THEN HE TIED THE KNOT Comedy as Well as Tragedy Is Eternal All Over the World Story of the Justice of the Peace All Ends Well. There Is always something to see, to bear, or to learn, wherever you go. The eternal tragedy, the eternal com edy, go all over the world. Yesterday Art showed me a farmhouse, where ft few months ago ft discontented soul killed his wife and himself, shooting his wife while she held ft three-months'-old baby In her arms. "We were going to lynch him then," said Art artlessly, "but as I rode through the edge of the wood back of the house I saw him lying there looking at us. He was dead. He had shot himself three times. Nervy, wasn't he?" Again, as we rode on, he showed me ft little house by the roadside. "Old woman lives there, eighty-five years old," said he. "The town keeps her. Her husband died a while ago, and she can't run the farm. She used to be an English noblewoman years ago, and she ran away with the coachman and came to America. They lived here ft long while. I guess she was an Eng lish noblewoman all right, too, for once in a while she comes down to town and gets a pint of alcohol, and she drinks It straight, and never bats an eye." Hut, as I was going to say, I saw an odd-looking fly In Art's collection, a combination of squirrel hackle and apparently quill nnd silk body. Art said that fly was a very good one, very hurd to wear out and very use ful on the local streams. "The fellow that makes tbem lives here," said he. "His name's Hubbell. He's the Jus tice of the Peace." I somehow liked the sound of Hubbell, J. P., and pres ently looked Into the matter. The room of R. W. Hubbell, Justice of the Peace, Is more angling shop than Jus tice shop, and here I learned how these very killing local flies are made, ha-ing a long talk over these and kindred subjects. "I find that early In the spring this white Bilk grub I tie. with a bit of worm on the end. will kill trout be fore they will rise to the fly. My first fly Is the black gnat but you see I tie It different from any black gnat you ever saw. The next Is what I call my Morning Helle, squirrel hackle and green body, and so. Then I make a mosquito, with gray body, and here's a grasshopper with yellow and brown body and gray squirrel hackles I never use any feathers In any of my fly-tying. I'm proud of my grasshop pers. You don't have to chase 'em, and they don't come off. They're bet ter than the real tiling. "Fishing?" said the Justice, tiping back Judiciously. "Well, It's more Im portant than anything else, some times If not all the time. Hut there's some folks who don't seem to under stand that. Now, not long ago I had a young fellow and a girl up before me. They'd been engajred, but had a falling out, and I guess the fellow was going to leave the girl because she changed her mind. I knew the pickerel wre biting out here In the mill pond, and it was time to be out, so I heard the case fast as I could, lined the young fellow, sent 'em all out, and went Ashing. In less'n n' hour I heard some one holler In', and saw a fellow motioning, over the bank. It was the town marshal. I didn't pay any attention to him, for I didn't want to be disturbed, but blmeby he motioned so hard I started over towards him, nnd just as I did I got a bite, and hooked a big pickerel. At last I heard what the town marshal wanted. 'Say!' says be, 'them folks wunts to git married!' " 'Well, why don't they, then 7 says 1. " 'But they want you to do It,' says he. Wouldn't that cramp you? Here I'd just fined him, and now I was busy. " 'There ain't no hurry about that said I. I thought maybe she'd change her mind again. All this time that pickerel was Just chargin' round, and I had all I could do, to keep him out of the weeds. "'They can't wait!' hollers the town marshal. That made me mad. Couldn't wait! Here I'd Just fined the man! 'You go on buck an' tell 'em they got to wait!' says I to the town marshal, 'I'm busy, and I allow it's a sight more Important for me to get this pickerel 'n It Is for them to get married.' So I went right on and played my flBh, ftnd at last I got him in the boat. He was a beauty. Then I went on in and married 'em, but not before. I want to tell you. Some folks are Just natur ally unreasonable." Forest and Stream. Editorial Modesty. The Graham News man sava ha could not find the editor of tbe Jacks- 1 boro News at the picnic. He probably ' noticed a tall, handsome young man ' wearing a magnificent smile. trotted around the grounds with tbe prettiest girl there. That waa us, Jacksboro (Tex.) News. The French monument which is to be erected on the field of Waterloo ia now comnlote. It cnnuluta nt an im mense eaglo mounted on ft granite ! pedestal. There Is this consolation about It the young man who never cracks a smile Is not likely to bore us with ft ! cracked laugh when he is old. PROFESSIONAL TASTERS. Lucrative Industry Based on a Culti vated Palate. There are many people in this world who make a good living by having a cultivated palate. Their sense of taste Is such that by exercising It they can be assured of a bljr yearly Income. Any one who visits the toa district In New York will see In the offices of the big tea dealers men who for ever taste tea out of tiny cups. These are the tea-tustcrs, and though they never drink tea, their sense of taste Is so accurate thnt they can tell nt once the grade and value of the tea in the boxes from which their sam ples are taken. In every large wine dealing estab lshment there is a wine taster, who never swallows wine, but whoso busi ness it is to taste samples of all wines and deride upon their quality. He can tell when ft wine Is ready to be put on the market and Just what Its grade is. Hut the most curious branch of the tasting profession Is one which has lately become a paying business for women In Paris. There sevena! wo men earn good salaries by driving from one house to another Just before dinner Is ready to serve and tasting the various dishes which the cook has prepared. They taste, they criticise, thoy rec ommend addition of some flavoring or seasoning, and then rush away In their carriages to the house of the next customer. They are called dinner tnstcrs, nnd ft part of their duty is to suggest Im provements In the manner of prepar ing dishes. Thus, If one cook Is inclined to use too much salt In his dishes and an other too little, these things are Jot ted down, and a report made to the master of the household, who thereup on requests the cook to reform his way 8. This business of dinner tasting Is said to be one which cannot be fol lowed for any length of time without Intervals of rest, for, paradoxical as It may seem, a dinner-taster, If she kept continuously at her trade, would be In danger of starving to death. Of course, the taster never eats of the food which she examines, but merely tastes It, and this continual tasting of so many different kinds of food gives her a disgust for food of all kinds, so that It Is with the great est difficulty she c-an bring herself to eat a square meal. So once In a while the dinner taster has to take a month off; out she gets excellent pay while she works, nnd can afford to loaf at least one-third of the time nnd eat some thing. Washington Post. i Underwater Signalling. The cause of three-fourth of the shipwrecks and loss of life at sea seems about to be removed. It Is not a wire or even the air, but the water this time that Is used to transmit sound vibrations. For some weeks there has been Installed on the steam ers of the Metropolitan Company of Koston an apparatus which may yet make it possible for the vessel beat ing about the coast In a storm to know where the rocks and shoals are when the fog will not permit the light to be seen and the noise of the wind drowns the sound of the bell-buoy or the siren; for a battleship to know of the approach of n submarine, and a flshingsmnck of the approach of a liner off the Hanks of Newfoundland. The aparaUiR Is extremely simple. It amounts to nothing more or less than ringing a bell under water which the pilot or captain can hear telophonlcal ly. Screwed on both sides of the vessel's hull are two receivers, which ure connected by wires with thel wheelhouse. These receive the vibra tions from tbe bell banging In the water on the side of the lightship. The navigator has only to put the ear piece to his ear and ascertain on which side the vibrations are the loud er, in order to know the direction of the lighthouse and his own position In the fog with comparative accuracy. For fishing vessels a ball receiver has been provided, and this Is used to get more delicate Intonations aboard ft steel vessel. The value of the ap paratus was put to a good test recent ly when the steamer James S. Whit ney was approaching the Hoston light ship on her return from New York. The lighthouse was obscured by rain and fog. Thanks to the signal ap paratus, the captain Immediately heard the bell and got his direction. It was not until five minutes after that he heard the lightship's whistle for the first time. Collier's Weekly. A Day of the Pope's Life. The daily life of Plus X. Is as busy and as simple as that of his predeces sor, Leo XIII. He rises at 5, cele brates mass at 0, which Is served by his private secretary, Mgr. Hressau. After hearing another mass In thanks giving, he breakfasts; this consists of a simple cup of black coffee. Then follows a walk of about an hour, dur ing which a visit Is made to a little grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes erected In the Vatican Gardens. The rest of the morning up to 1 p. m. is devoted to correspondence. Interviews with sec retaries and high officials, public and private audiences. At 1 o'clock tbe Pope dines, and his dinner consists of one dish of meat. After a short siesta he recites his breviary and then re sumes work until 0, when he takes a walk In the loggia of the Vatican. Visitors and pilgrims are frequently received there. From 7 until 9 o'clock Plus X. Is again at work, and then private devotions engage his attention until about halfpast 10 o'clock, when the day's work of the new Pope comes to an end. London Daily News. fflfflw The Kind You Have Always In use for over 30 years, All Counterfeits, Imitations and Just-as-pood" are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger tlio health of Infants and Children Experience against Experiment What is CASTORIA Castoria Is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare gorlc, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It Is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic) substance. Its age Is Its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Fcvcrlshncss. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates tho Food, regulates tho Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep The Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend. GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAY8 Sears the The Kind You Have Always Bought In Use For Over 30 Years. Ma ecprr.ua oommmv. tt murrav btmct, " Pearj's Last Word Explorer Telii ol His Advance to the North What is believed to he the final word fr tn Commander R. E. Peary before hU return from his attempt to reach the North Pole was re ceived by the Peary Arctic Club of Brooklyn last week. The message came from Etah, North Greenland, and reads: "Etah, North Greenland, August 1 6, 1905. Cape York was reached August 7, twelve days from Sidney. The voyage was unusuilly favora ble. No ice anywhere. Natives nnd dogs were secured and joined the Erik at North Star Bay, August 9: transferred to Erik and Roose velt proceeded to Etah immediately to overhaul machinery and prepare for ice fighting. The Erik visited all the settlements, securing natives, dogs and walrus, joining the Roose velt at Etah, August 13. Natives are in prosperous condition; plenty of meat, abundance of dogs and lo cated this season detper in Melville Bay and Inglefield Gulf than for years. The Roosevelt overhauled machinery, filled with coal and leaves Etah for the north with twenty-three Eskimo men and some two hundred dogs, August 16. Ice extends from LUtlefield Island to Cape Isabella, but apparently is not heavy. This may make the estab lishment of base at Cape Sabine difficult. No ice was seen south of Littlefield Island. All wel'. on board." A later report from St. John's, New Fouudland says: The Peary expedition auxiliary steamer Erik returned here from Cape Sabine, Greenland, last nignt, reporting that the Arctic ship Roosevelt with Commander Peary on board, left Cape Sabine for the north August 21. The officers of tbe Erik fear the Roosevelt will not get very far north this winter, con ditions in the northern waters being very adverse. Ice floes ore unusu ally heavy already, and much bad weather has prevailed. On the voyage to Greenland the Roosevelt proved an eminently satisfactory vessel. August a Very fiaiuy Mouth August, just ended was a very peculiar month in many respects, more rain fell in this August than for any August in thirty-lour years, with one exception. That was in 1873, when 11.49 inches of rain came down. During August the rainfall has amounted to 9.51 inch es, this being 5.16 inches above the normal. For the month tbe tern, perature was 12 degrees below the normal, which is 74 A nprnlinr. ity about the cool and warm days js mat tney are bunched to a great extent. There were three or four warm days and then as many cool days. CASTORIA For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears tho Signature of 3 Bought and which haa been. has borne tho nlgnaturo of and has been made under his per sonal supervision since Its Infancy Allow no one to deceive you In this. Signature of Washington Bicb at 27- Oid Records Show the Wealth ol the Father 01 Kit Country. Recent examination of the records of Fairfax county, Virginia, show that George Washington owned 50,000 acres of land when 27 years old, and at the Fall slaughtering in 1780 the Washington family killed 150 hogs for their use. The examination also brought out the facts that in 17S7 the Father of his Country sowed 580 acres in grass, 400 acres in oats, 700 acres in wheat and 700 acres in other grains. He owned 140 horses, 112 cows, 500 sheep and had 250 negroes on the plantation. The Hnghesville Pair The 35th annual fair of the Mun cy Valley Farmers club will be held at Hughesville on Sept. 19 to 22, and it promises to be one of the best in the history of the organization. The exhibits will be larger and mote varied than on former occas ions, and a day spent on the grounds will not only be entertaining but instructive as well. The Only Survivor !of the Hiyes Arctic Expedition, Mr. h. J. McLormick, now U. S. Deputy Mineral Surveyor. Bliss I Station, Idaho, says:" For years I I have suffered from severe pains . in the hip joint and back bone, de ! priving me of all power. The cause was Stone In the Bladder and ' Gravel in the Kidneys- After using ; Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite j Remedy, of Rondout, N. Y., I was completely cured." The popular view of the relation of the blood to human chararer and conduct is marked in m;inv a familiar ,i, , ' VAiva.iun , C speak of there being "bail blood " between I people at enmity, of " blue blood " aa indica. ling ancestry, of ' black blood " as describ. ing a treacherous naiure, ami in many an other phrase mark our belief that in the mental, moral and physical man, " the blood i the life." The one basis of a healthful, happy and useful life is pure blood. With the blood mire, -iliKpne h nr. lodging place in the system. For this reason the use of Dr. Tierce'. Golden Medical Uis covery rids the body of diseases which have their origin in impurity of the blood. It an soluiely purifies the blood, carrying off the waste ami poisonous matter, increasing the action of the blood malting glands, "and building up the body by supplying the blood in quantity and quality tuch ai is essential to a co ml it ion of health. It cures ninety eight people out of every hundred who cive it a far trial. b "We can't have everything in this life. said the philosopher. "No," answered Mr. Dustin Stax. "The ideal but imxsible combination is a million aire menu with a deck-hand appetite." Tha Beuewal a Strain. Vacation is over. Again the school bf 11 rings at morning and at noon, again with tens of thousands the hardest kind of work has begun, the renewal of which is a menial and physical mrain to all except the most rugged. The little girl lhat a few days ago had roses in her cheeks, and the lillle boy whose lips were then so red you would have insisted that they had been " ns-ed by strawberries." have ntraHu l.t ....n-ii.;.,,. I of the appeaiance of h alth. Now is a time when many children should be given a tonic, which may avert much sei ions trouble, aud we know of no oiher so highly to be recom. mended as Hood's Sarsaparilla, which . strengthens the nerves, perfects digestion and assimilation, and aids mental develop. I ment building up the whole system.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers