THE BICYCLE LEG. Wh.tllng It Not CondnolT to Oramfal Dancing and It Commended bj Some. Bxprt whwlwonien as well as be glnnrrs are burnishing their wheels preparatory for the summer. The bi cycle dealers are aa busy as been in honey-making time, and, although they do not expect to do such a vast bnHtnots as they did liutt year, they expwt the trade to luerwute from this time on. Thwuo are merely straws snowing that the bicycle season Is on, The wheel women seem delighted to tarn once more to their favorite pas time. For two weeks little knots of tbexn have gathered and discussed wheels and wheeling. A rest seems to have whetted tholr appetites for bicycle talks as well as runs. "Bicycling boats dancing, and I for one am glad to return to my second love," announced a dainty looking girl In an Imported suit. "Of course It beats dancing; but why do you say second love?" asked a plump brunette. Oh, because I danced before I whcided," she answered. Gtmnt that day lost whose low descending sun Hath Dot beheld at least a ten-mile run. "For my part, I've learned one thing Oris winter," said an athletic girl In a abort skirt and a red sweater. "I've got to give up cither dancing or wheel Ins;- It's Impossible for me to do both." "The same here," put In three other girls. Whnt on earth has bicycling got to d wnth dancing?" queried the bru nette. "You dance In winter; you wheel In summer. Why they should Interfere with one another I can't see. Of course, I didn't learn to rldo until last fall, and " That's the very reason you don't un derstand why we must stop dancing," Interrupted the athletic girl. "You tee, we've developed the bicycle leg." "The bicycle leg," repeated the bru atte, aghast "What is It? I've heard of the bicycle face, the bicycle back, tk bicycle brain and the bicycle voice, tat the bicycle leg Is new to me. Tell sat about It." , "We've got it," put in three others. "And you'll get it if you ride much," add the athletic girl with a malicious augh. "It attacks women riders a great deal oftener than it does wheel men," she continued, "protmhly be cause their muscles are more vulner able than those ot a man. I never ode much until last summer, and didn't notice that my legs had been af fected by It at all until the dancing season opened. The muscles of my legs seemed to remain stiff all the evening the first dance I attended, and I was really uneasy, for I thought Td contracted rheumatism. My legs wouldn't act light, and I couldn't ma nipulate my feet or make them go. My partners glared at me, and none ot them came forward for a second torn, so I pleaded a headache and went home. I was puzzled, but I didn't say anything to anybody, for I'd always had the reputation of being a In dancer. It was the same thing at the next dance, and the next and the ext. and at last it dawned upon mo that I hod the bicycle leg." "I had the very same experience," testified another enthusiast. "I, too, naed to be considered a pretty good dancer, but since I've been riding a bi cycle I'm no longer a desirable part ner." "Why, how does wheeling affect the tegs so as to make it Impossible to dance?" asked a novice. "Well, it seems we have two sets of muscles In our legs," explained the athletic girl. "One we use In all kinds ot graceful exercise such as dauclng and Delsarte movements, and the oth ers are used for work, rushing the pedals develops (these working mus cles, and the others are overcome, and when you attempt to do the graceful act you are about as graceful as a cow would be. The preachers who op pose dancing would find a good argu ment in favor of the wheel as a moral agency right along this lino. Dancing Is unquestionably a form of dissipa tion; If bicycling does away with that pastime, it will certainly do more than moralists have ever been able to ac complish, and I believe In time that It will. If wheclwomeu find out that they have to give up one or the other, I predict the abandonment of dancing;.- "And I predict the abandonment of the wheel," put in a man whoame up la time to bear the lost remark. "Wheeling is a fad with women. They won't stick to it, especially if II Interferes with tholr dancing. In on ether twelve mouths they will have forgotten that they wit rode a bicy Ck." A Valuable Man. "We pay our minister $2,500 a year." "Ours gets f4,000." "Has ho ever been tried for heresy?" "No, but be says eyether and' nytb New York World. '( l&a BOUND TO E SKINNED. The Iteformod Gambler Sayi Kgotlsm Wreck Good Men, "I tell you," declared the reformed gambler, "that there are people In tills country who Insist upon being swin dled. Nino out of ten of the men who are caught know that they are going up against some kind of, a bunco game. They have read all about It, but It Is the Infernal egotism Of the averngn man that leads him into the trap. Uc knows that others have been caught, but he's too smart for anything of that kind, don't you see. "I was at a county fair In Iowa ex losing tho trick b of gamblers. My grafe was in selling a little book that I had on the subject. There was a pretty lively gang there from a back township, and when I showed them how the Bhell trick was done, one big fellow insisted that he could lo cate tho elusive pea and was bound to iK't on the proposition. I told him that I was out of the business, but that ho was mistaken. Then they set up a cry that I was a fraud and afraid of my own game. I went over the whole thing again, and showed how they were fooled, but I must give the fellow a cluinco or they would wreck my whole outfit. "At last. Just to save myself, I let him put up his money, and tendered It buck to him after 1 had won. Then It took three other men to keep him from whipping me because I took him for rt squealer. One or two others Insisted ou having a try at it, and never turned a hair because of their losses. When it camo to three-card monte, it was the same. Each of half a dozen men was sure that he could pick the card, and, despite warning, would have a try at It. and some of them two or three times. When they were cleaned out there went up a howl that I was the rankest kind of fraud, and they chased me three miles Into the coun try lefore it waes dark enough for me to escape." Detroit Free Press. OHIO'S NEW SCHOOL. SYSNEM. Graded School Paplli Collected In Conchel for Three Miles In Etci-jt Direction. Ohio's Western Ilesorve, that homo of advanced ideas and Institutions, 1M now advancing an Idea that bids fait to supplant the old time district school. It Is called the Kingsvllle system, hav ing originated In that place In tho northern part of this country, although it Is now spreading with pralrle-fira celerity. It gives to every pupil In a township a graded school education, securing It by means of coaches stop ping night and morning to collect and return pupils for and from a graded school In the centre of the township. The new plan is p-ovlng popular and It Is relegating the little stuffy district school-house to the position in Ameri can history of the log cabin and the ex tinct buffalo. These calls of conches are operating to both augment attendance and pro mote punctuality, the pupil belna marked tardy If not ready when called for. The education in the teacher ser vice secured by this process of central ization is found to go far towards off Betting the cost of the conch service. Trof. C. A. Oorbln, principal ol Kingsvllle high school, suggested the system five years ago, his successor, Irof. F. E. Morrison, pushed it, and Assemblyman William S. Harris, ol this district, procured the needed legls latlon which Is now resulting In Ha general adoption. Legislative reform! In school government have accompan ied this reform. The Old Chap Hlnuelf. A young recruit, who lately joined a line regiment, was set on sentry-go, and was, of course, new to the busi ness. A good-natured comrade brought hi in a sandwich from the canteen, and the recruit was about to consume It, when the major appeared. As the officer was in mufti, the sen try did not recognise blm, and did noi salute. The major took In the situa tion, and asked: "What's that?" "A sandwich," replied the recruit. "Have a bit?" "Do you know who I am?" asked ttu major. ' "Don't know you from Adam; per baps you're the major's coachy." "No, I'm not." "His groom, perhaps." "No; try again." "Perhaps the old chap himself." "Right this time," said the major. "Oh, Lord!" exclaimed the frightened sentry, "Hold the sandwich while I present arms!" Answers. Got No Credit for It. "I haven't any confidence In nicks worthy, ne's a hypocrite." "What makes yon think so?" "I saw hlra when he mashed lilt thumb accidentally with a hammer th other day. All be said was 'ouch!' " THE UNCONSCIOUS ADVERTISER. Meek Ins is by no means an outlaw; but nevertheless there is a pri.'eou h.'l head. Harper's Weekly, THE COLUMBIAN. ,BLOOMSBURG. PA. 008T Of LIGHTS. A Comparison ol tho k Relative Cost of Different Artificial Systems, The director of the electrical com pany of Cologne has made a compari son of the cost of the different sorts of artificial light reduced to thetame standard of illuminating power. As the cost of materials fur illuminating varies in different localities he has taken the price of coal gas at oi cents per f ,ooo cubic feet, of alcohol, for use in incandescent lamps, at 30 cents a gallon, oi coal oil at 15 cents a gallon, and of electricity at tjf cents per hectowatt. Supposing the " mantles " ot the incandescent gas burners to last 400 hours and to cost 50 cents each, and other apparatus to have the average life, he finds the most expensive ordinary light to be that from incandescent electric lamps, which costs 10 per hour for a given amount of illumination. Next comes the light from ordinary gas burners, with openings in the form of slits, which cost 6 cents for the same illu mination. Argand burners are, light for light, about ao per cent more economical than the other sort. Next to these come incandescent lamps burning alcohol, which give light at half the price of the ordinary gas burner. Ordinary coal oil lamps give light much more cheaply, the cost per unit of illumination being little more than one fifth that of incandescent electric light, but the modern gas lights with incandescent mant'.es are still more economical, furnishing for 1 J cents per hour the same amount of illumination as incandescent elec tric lamps at to cents. Electric arc lamps are about 10 per cent more economical still and are the cheapest sources of artificial light at present known to us. American Architect. Pill Sense. It stands to reason that Dr. Agnew's Liver Pills will crowd out of the market many of the nauseous old timers. A better medi cine at less than half the price is all the argument needed to keep the de mand what it has been Phenomenal 40" doses 10 cents. They cure Sick Headache, Biliousness, and allay all stomach irritations. At all druggists. Sold by C. A. Kleim. A FEW WEDDING HINTS. The bride remembers her brides maids and the groom his ushers with a souvenir, very often an appropriate pin. Only maids should wear white : widows are to be dressed in gray or mauve, and a bonnet, too, is consider ed best form for a widow. All the expenses of a wedding, ex cept the minister's fee and, in the event of a church wedding, the organ ist s and sexton s fee for the opening of the church, falls upon the bride's family. It has become very fashionable to have odd days to be married on, such as Monday or Saturday, an unheard- of-thing a few years ago, when Wed nesday or Thursday was the day in variably chosen. A very ptetty fashion is to have loose bunches of the prevailing flower fastened to the top of the pews end in the church 5 not every one, but at careless intervals, and the effect is very striking. The bride-to-be, or some near friend if she can't get through with so many, writes, a.note of thanks for each gift, the sooner the better, and it is usual to introduce the groom's name in some way and write them in the plural number. A very pretty idea is the one in vogue for the last few years of having the marriage certificate bound in white kid, with a number of vacant pages appended for each guest to sign his name. It makes a very interest ing thing to have and to hand down Brides no longer wear gloves their sleeves are quite long and very close, fitting, with a ruffle that falls to the tips of the fingers, and no matter how many or handsome the rings they possess their fingers are ringless ready for " the " ring. Chicago Chronicle. Female Bicyole Baoes, Bicycle races between female con testants is a cbeap sport at its very best, and none .but men of diseased minds and little or no intellect find it an attraction. Certainly .no man of self-respect would attend an event of this sort even as a witness, much less to serve in an official capacity. There is no necessity for wasting valuable space on the people connected with this mongrel game. They are too low in the scale of humanity to de serve attention from anything but the Salvation Army, which organization might profitably use them as horrible examples. They are caricatures on on men and women j nothing more. Cycling Gazette. Does Your Skin- Chafe? Dr. Agnew's Ointment cures Chapped Hands, and is proof against chafing of the flesh in any part. A sure cure for Eczema, Salt Rheum, Tetter Barber's Itch, and all skiu eruptions. Comfort in one application, and never fails to cure. 35 cents. Sold by Cj A ILleim. Excitirg Kansas, William Allen White tells a story of a Kansas man who left the state, but soon returned to it because he missed the excitement. " Why, man," said White, "what do you mean ? What excitement can there be in living where there isn't a piece of vegetation higher than a sunflower and where human beings are as lew ai summer showers ? " Well, you see, it's like this," he replied. " You put in a crop, and from the moment the seed's in the ground until the last day of harvest it s a gamble whether or not you get a full crop or barely enough to feed a mule. 1 he sustain ed excitement amounts to what you would get out of a four months' poker game in which you had staked every thing. Oh, there's plenty of excite ment about it, and I've become so accustomed to the feature of it that I'm lost withont it." This farmer was a Greek letter fraternity man, and, ludicrous as it may seem, he un questionably spoke with the utmost seriousness. New York Tribune. It my save you time and money to be informed that, when you need a blood-purifier, Ayers Sarsapanlla is the kind most in favor with the medi cal profession. It is the standard and, as such, the only blood-purifier ad mitted at the Chicago World's Fair. Shaving a Lady. A story is going the rounds concern ing " I om the barber, whose dex terity with the razor is a household word in Bombay. A lady just arrived from England drove to the hotel in Bombay which had been recommended her and was given a spacious bedroom, which she was told had just been vacated by a military officer who had gone up country. She was very tired and very sleepy, and after dinner she retired at once to rest, with an instruction that she was not to be disturbed in the morning. Imagine her surprise when, shortly after sunrise, she awoke to find half her face covered with lather and a ferocious native holding a razor in close proximity to her throat. She shrieked aloud, and Tom the barber, for it was he, fled. When the alarm subsided, it tran- spired that Tom had a contract to shave the departed officer at a certain time every morning, asleep or awake, and that he was unaware of the fact that the bedroom had changed hands. Tom makes it his boast that he can shave a man without arousing him from slumber. Scottish Nights. Are These Bills Jokes? Right in line with a whole lot of other fool bills that have been intro duced since the thirty-ninth general assembly of Missouri began its session was one by Representative Wamsley of Jackson county. The bill provides that railroad companies shall he nro. hibited from using wooden rails and tying tnem with a string. The penalty attached thereto for violation of the law is $50,000. Of course it is understood that this was a huge joke, but its introduction was no more nonsensical than that of scores of others whicn are bobbing up daily. As an examnle of those that are not introduced as jokes may uc meniionea one which was sprung by Representative Spoflord, which provides for the creation of a hoard for inspection of barbers as to their capability Cleveland Plain Dealer. When the blood is tent -J- - f-THB, HUU the system thoroughly invigorated by the use of Ayer's Sarsaparilla, sudden changes of temperature and extremes of heat and cold, so characteristic nf certain climates, are rarely attended wan injurious results. Take it now. Lincoln's Bat a Football. The favorite hat worn hv Abraham Lincoln was a tall "stovepipe." It nas Deen aescriDed as a foot high, with a brim almost as w!l aa southern sombrero. Manv anecdotes are connected with that famous tall hat. In it Mr. Lincoln of his valuable papers, the briefs of his law cases and other documents, says the Youth's Companion. un me nignt ot Mr. Lincoln's elec tion to the presidency several ladies who had gathered at the old home stead at Springfield testified their glee by using the hat as a football. A few of us went to assist Mrs. Lincoln about the supper which was to be given some gentlemen who had come in to hear the returns. It was after midnight before enough had been learned to warrant the belief that our candidate was elected. We went nearly wild with joy and con gratulate I Mr. Lincoln most heartily. Some one saw the famous "stove pipe" in the hall, and, seizing it, threw it up to the ceiling. Another caught it, and then it went the rounds till it fell on the floor, when one gave it a kick and then another and another gave it a send off till it was so battered that it had lost all resem blance to its original shape. Mr. Lincoln looked on and smiled good naturedly at the childish perform ance. H Important Notice I The only genuine "Baker's Chocolate," celebrated for more than a century as a de licious, nutritious, and flesh-forming bever age, is put up in Blue Wrappers and Yel low Labels. Be sure that the Yellow Label and our Trade-Mark are on every package. WALTER BAKER & CO. Ltd., Dorchester, Mass. HllllimmilllHIIIIIIIIIHMIIIHMtMHHHI ALEXANDER BROTHERS & CO. DEALERS 1ST Cigars, Tobacco, Candies, Fruits and Huts SOLK AGENTS FOR Henry Mail lard's Fine Candies. Fresh Every Week. JplTXT 000133 -A. GPECIALTY. SOLE AGENTS FOR F. F. Adams & Co's Fine Cut Chewing Tobacco Sole agents tor tbe Honry Clay, Londrc3, Noraal, Indian Princess, Samson, Silver Adi Bloomsburg Pa. For the finest and best stoves, tinware, roofintr. snmirlno- and general job work, go to W. VV. Watts, on Iron street. Buildines heated bv steam, hot air or hot water in a satisfar. tory manner. Sanitary Plumbing a specialty. 1 nave tne exclusive control ot the 1 batcher steam, hot water and hot air heaters ior this territory, which is nrknnwl. edged to be the best heater on the market. All work guaranteed. IRON STREET. SHOES We buy right and sell right. OUR SUCCESS IS BASED ON THIS FACT. Honest trading has won us hosts we are selling good shoes, so good you ought to see them. Drop in and we will make it pay you. Cohnee Iron and Main Sts. IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF CARPET, MATTING, or OIL CLOTH, YOU WILL FIND A NICE LINE AT W. H. BKOWIM 2nd Door above Court IIoubc, A large lot of Window Curtains in stock. ASK FORTHE ftfcKLET ONlIGhT' AND V GIVES 'fcBEST IIGHT IN THE FOR SALE BY .THE ATLANTIC REFINING OO.B The Broomstick Preventive. Cassius White, aeed 2. is the of a well to do landowner and has been regarded as a swell beau in Paintsville, Ky. He fell deeply in love with pretty Mamie Huff, aged 18. He made known his devotion to the parents of the young woman after winning the heart of Mamie. They objected. He was dissipated, and they would not consent fnr Tim- risk her fortune with such a youth. ove couici not be put aside and laughed at reason. They planned to elope, and in telling mutual friends auoui me plan the girl's mother got an inkling, and as he Rtole up in the moonlight to carry his prize away the uiuincr iay in waiting with a broom stick and struck him a hav m felling him to the ground. She then publicly whipped the girl. This severe chastising h.is quered the young lovers, who now uok ior anotner day when they will not be foiled St. fyuis Kejtllic. Try the COLUMBIAN a year. "" following brands of Cigars- W. W. WATTS, Bloomsburg, Pa. io-iir SHOES of customers but we want more. W. H. floore. W6B19 A9iyTEiySVFE There it a Class of People Who are injured by the use of coffee. Recently there has been placed in all the grocery stores a new pre paratian called GRAIN-O, made of pure grains that takes, the place of coffee. The most delicate stomach receives it with out distress, and but few can tell it from coffee. It does not cost over I as much. Children may drink it with great benefit, iscts. and ascts. pe dackage. Try it. Ask for GRAIN-O Blair County Auditors allow the County Treasurer Tohn F. Akers. one per cent, for receiving and alike saving $4000 a year on his fees for the county. An 8 mill tax rate has been fixe J upon for Harrisburg. Send for a copy of Tasker's Beautiful Song "Gone Forever'VThe very latest. Pronounced by critics to be the pretti est song ever written. .Price 40 cts. At music stores ,or sent upon receipt of price by David T. Tasker. Bloomsburg, IV Mil II 1" i
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers