THE BICYCLE LEG.
Wh.tllng It Not CondnolT to Oramfal
Dancing and It Commended bj Some.
Bxprt whwlwonien as well as be
glnnrrs are burnishing their wheels
preparatory for the summer. The bi
cycle dealers are aa busy as been in
honey-making time, and, although
they do not expect to do such a vast
bnHtnots as they did liutt year, they
expwt the trade to luerwute from this
time on. Thwuo are merely straws
snowing that the bicycle season Is on,
The wheel women seem delighted to
tarn once more to their favorite pas
time. For two weeks little knots of
tbexn have gathered and discussed
wheels and wheeling. A rest seems
to have whetted tholr appetites for
bicycle talks as well as runs.
"Bicycling boats dancing, and I for
one am glad to return to my second
love," announced a dainty looking
girl In an Imported suit.
"Of course It beats dancing; but
why do you say second love?" asked
a plump brunette.
Oh, because I danced before I
whcided," she answered.
Gtmnt that day lost whose low descending sun
Hath Dot beheld at least a ten-mile run.
"For my part, I've learned one thing
Oris winter," said an athletic girl In a
abort skirt and a red sweater. "I've
got to give up cither dancing or wheel
Ins;- It's Impossible for me to do
both."
"The same here," put In three other
girls.
Whnt on earth has bicycling got to
d wnth dancing?" queried the bru
nette. "You dance In winter; you
wheel In summer. Why they should
Interfere with one another I can't see.
Of course, I didn't learn to rldo until
last fall, and "
That's the very reason you don't un
derstand why we must stop dancing,"
Interrupted the athletic girl. "You
tee, we've developed the bicycle leg."
"The bicycle leg," repeated the bru
atte, aghast "What is It? I've heard
of the bicycle face, the bicycle back,
tk bicycle brain and the bicycle voice,
tat the bicycle leg Is new to me. Tell
sat about It."
, "We've got it," put in three others.
"And you'll get it if you ride much,"
add the athletic girl with a malicious
augh. "It attacks women riders a
great deal oftener than it does wheel
men," she continued, "protmhly be
cause their muscles are more vulner
able than those ot a man. I never
ode much until last summer, and
didn't notice that my legs had been af
fected by It at all until the dancing
season opened. The muscles of my
legs seemed to remain stiff all the
evening the first dance I attended,
and I was really uneasy, for I thought
Td contracted rheumatism. My legs
wouldn't act light, and I couldn't ma
nipulate my feet or make them go.
My partners glared at me, and none
ot them came forward for a second
torn, so I pleaded a headache and
went home. I was puzzled, but I
didn't say anything to anybody, for I'd
always had the reputation of being a
In dancer. It was the same thing at
the next dance, and the next and the
ext. and at last it dawned upon mo
that I hod the bicycle leg."
"I had the very same experience,"
testified another enthusiast. "I, too,
naed to be considered a pretty good
dancer, but since I've been riding a bi
cycle I'm no longer a desirable part
ner." "Why, how does wheeling affect the
tegs so as to make it Impossible to
dance?" asked a novice.
"Well, it seems we have two sets of
muscles In our legs," explained the
athletic girl. "One we use In all kinds
ot graceful exercise such as dauclng
and Delsarte movements, and the oth
ers are used for work, rushing the
pedals develops (these working mus
cles, and the others are overcome, and
when you attempt to do the graceful
act you are about as graceful as a
cow would be. The preachers who op
pose dancing would find a good argu
ment in favor of the wheel as a moral
agency right along this lino. Dancing
Is unquestionably a form of dissipa
tion; If bicycling does away with that
pastime, it will certainly do more than
moralists have ever been able to ac
complish, and I believe In time that It
will. If wheclwomeu find out that
they have to give up one or the other,
I predict the abandonment of dancing;.-
"And I predict the abandonment of
the wheel," put in a man whoame up
la time to bear the lost remark.
"Wheeling is a fad with women.
They won't stick to it, especially if II
Interferes with tholr dancing. In on
ether twelve mouths they will have
forgotten that they wit rode a bicy
Ck." A Valuable Man.
"We pay our minister $2,500 a year."
"Ours gets f4,000."
"Has ho ever been tried for heresy?"
"No, but be says eyether and' nytb
New York World. '(
l&a
BOUND TO E SKINNED.
The Iteformod Gambler Sayi Kgotlsm
Wreck Good Men,
"I tell you," declared the reformed
gambler, "that there are people In tills
country who Insist upon being swin
dled. Nino out of ten of the men who
are caught know that they are going
up against some kind of, a bunco game.
They have read all about It, but It Is
the Infernal egotism Of the averngn
man that leads him into the trap. Uc
knows that others have been caught,
but he's too smart for anything of that
kind, don't you see.
"I was at a county fair In Iowa ex
losing tho trick b of gamblers. My
grafe was in selling a little book that
I had on the subject. There was a
pretty lively gang there from a back
township, and when I showed them
how the Bhell trick was done, one
big fellow insisted that he could lo
cate tho elusive pea and was bound to
iK't on the proposition. I told him that
I was out of the business, but that ho
was mistaken. Then they set up a
cry that I was a fraud and afraid of
my own game. I went over the whole
thing again, and showed how they
were fooled, but I must give the fellow
a cluinco or they would wreck my
whole outfit.
"At last. Just to save myself, I let
him put up his money, and tendered It
buck to him after 1 had won. Then It
took three other men to keep him from
whipping me because I took him for rt
squealer. One or two others Insisted
ou having a try at it, and never turned
a hair because of their losses. When
it camo to three-card monte, it was
the same. Each of half a dozen men
was sure that he could pick the card,
and, despite warning, would have a
try at It. and some of them two or
three times. When they were cleaned
out there went up a howl that I was
the rankest kind of fraud, and they
chased me three miles Into the coun
try lefore it waes dark enough for me
to escape." Detroit Free Press.
OHIO'S NEW SCHOOL. SYSNEM.
Graded School Paplli Collected In Conchel
for Three Miles In Etci-jt Direction.
Ohio's Western Ilesorve, that homo
of advanced ideas and Institutions, 1M
now advancing an Idea that bids fait
to supplant the old time district school.
It Is called the Kingsvllle system, hav
ing originated In that place In tho
northern part of this country, although
it Is now spreading with pralrle-fira
celerity. It gives to every pupil In a
township a graded school education,
securing It by means of coaches stop
ping night and morning to collect and
return pupils for and from a graded
school In the centre of the township.
The new plan is p-ovlng popular and
It Is relegating the little stuffy district
school-house to the position in Ameri
can history of the log cabin and the ex
tinct buffalo.
These calls of conches are operating
to both augment attendance and pro
mote punctuality, the pupil belna
marked tardy If not ready when called
for. The education in the teacher ser
vice secured by this process of central
ization is found to go far towards off
Betting the cost of the conch service.
Trof. C. A. Oorbln, principal ol
Kingsvllle high school, suggested the
system five years ago, his successor,
Irof. F. E. Morrison, pushed it, and
Assemblyman William S. Harris, ol
this district, procured the needed legls
latlon which Is now resulting In Ha
general adoption. Legislative reform!
In school government have accompan
ied this reform.
The Old Chap Hlnuelf.
A young recruit, who lately joined a
line regiment, was set on sentry-go,
and was, of course, new to the busi
ness. A good-natured comrade brought
hi in a sandwich from the canteen, and
the recruit was about to consume It,
when the major appeared.
As the officer was in mufti, the sen
try did not recognise blm, and did noi
salute. The major took In the situa
tion, and asked:
"What's that?"
"A sandwich," replied the recruit.
"Have a bit?"
"Do you know who I am?" asked ttu
major. '
"Don't know you from Adam; per
baps you're the major's coachy."
"No, I'm not."
"His groom, perhaps."
"No; try again."
"Perhaps the old chap himself."
"Right this time," said the major.
"Oh, Lord!" exclaimed the frightened
sentry, "Hold the sandwich while I
present arms!" Answers.
Got No Credit for It.
"I haven't any confidence In nicks
worthy, ne's a hypocrite."
"What makes yon think so?"
"I saw hlra when he mashed lilt
thumb accidentally with a hammer th
other day. All be said was 'ouch!' "
THE UNCONSCIOUS ADVERTISER.
Meek Ins is by no means an outlaw;
but nevertheless there is a pri.'eou h.'l
head. Harper's Weekly,
THE COLUMBIAN. ,BLOOMSBURG. PA.
008T Of LIGHTS.
A Comparison ol tho k Relative Cost of
Different Artificial Systems,
The director of the electrical com
pany of Cologne has made a compari
son of the cost of the different sorts
of artificial light reduced to thetame
standard of illuminating power. As
the cost of materials fur illuminating
varies in different localities he has
taken the price of coal gas at oi
cents per f ,ooo cubic feet, of alcohol,
for use in incandescent lamps, at 30
cents a gallon, oi coal oil at 15 cents
a gallon, and of electricity at tjf cents
per hectowatt. Supposing the
" mantles " ot the incandescent gas
burners to last 400 hours and to cost
50 cents each, and other apparatus to
have the average life, he finds the
most expensive ordinary light to be
that from incandescent electric lamps,
which costs 10 per hour for a given
amount of illumination. Next comes
the light from ordinary gas burners,
with openings in the form of slits,
which cost 6 cents for the same illu
mination. Argand burners are, light
for light, about ao per cent more
economical than the other sort. Next
to these come incandescent lamps
burning alcohol, which give light at
half the price of the ordinary gas
burner. Ordinary coal oil lamps give
light much more cheaply, the cost per
unit of illumination being little more
than one fifth that of incandescent
electric light, but the modern gas
lights with incandescent mant'.es are
still more economical, furnishing for
1 J cents per hour the same amount
of illumination as incandescent elec
tric lamps at to cents. Electric arc
lamps are about 10 per cent more
economical still and are the cheapest
sources of artificial light at present
known to us. American Architect.
Pill Sense. It stands to reason
that Dr. Agnew's Liver Pills will
crowd out of the market many of the
nauseous old timers. A better medi
cine at less than half the price is all
the argument needed to keep the de
mand what it has been Phenomenal
40" doses 10 cents. They cure Sick
Headache, Biliousness, and allay all
stomach irritations. At all druggists.
Sold by C. A. Kleim.
A FEW WEDDING HINTS.
The bride remembers her brides
maids and the groom his ushers with
a souvenir, very often an appropriate
pin.
Only maids should wear white :
widows are to be dressed in gray or
mauve, and a bonnet, too, is consider
ed best form for a widow.
All the expenses of a wedding, ex
cept the minister's fee and, in the
event of a church wedding, the organ
ist s and sexton s fee for the opening
of the church, falls upon the bride's
family.
It has become very fashionable to
have odd days to be married on, such
as Monday or Saturday, an unheard-
of-thing a few years ago, when Wed
nesday or Thursday was the day in
variably chosen.
A very ptetty fashion is to have
loose bunches of the prevailing flower
fastened to the top of the pews end
in the church 5 not every one, but at
careless intervals, and the effect is
very striking.
The bride-to-be, or some near
friend if she can't get through with so
many, writes, a.note of thanks for each
gift, the sooner the better, and it is
usual to introduce the groom's name
in some way and write them in the
plural number.
A very pretty idea is the one in
vogue for the last few years of having
the marriage certificate bound in
white kid, with a number of vacant
pages appended for each guest to sign
his name. It makes a very interest
ing thing to have and to hand down
Brides no longer wear gloves their
sleeves are quite long and very close,
fitting, with a ruffle that falls to the
tips of the fingers, and no matter how
many or handsome the rings they
possess their fingers are ringless ready
for " the " ring. Chicago Chronicle.
Female Bicyole Baoes,
Bicycle races between female con
testants is a cbeap sport at its very
best, and none .but men of diseased
minds and little or no intellect find it
an attraction. Certainly .no man of
self-respect would attend an event of
this sort even as a witness, much less
to serve in an official capacity. There
is no necessity for wasting valuable
space on the people connected with
this mongrel game. They are too
low in the scale of humanity to de
serve attention from anything but the
Salvation Army, which organization
might profitably use them as horrible
examples. They are caricatures on
on men and women j nothing more.
Cycling Gazette.
Does Your Skin- Chafe? Dr.
Agnew's Ointment cures Chapped
Hands, and is proof against chafing
of the flesh in any part. A sure cure
for Eczema, Salt Rheum, Tetter
Barber's Itch, and all skiu eruptions.
Comfort in one application, and never
fails to cure. 35 cents.
Sold by Cj A ILleim.
Excitirg Kansas,
William Allen White tells a story
of a Kansas man who left the state,
but soon returned to it because he
missed the excitement. " Why, man,"
said White, "what do you mean ?
What excitement can there be in
living where there isn't a piece of
vegetation higher than a sunflower
and where human beings are as lew
ai summer showers ? " Well, you
see, it's like this," he replied. " You
put in a crop, and from the moment
the seed's in the ground until the last
day of harvest it s a gamble whether
or not you get a full crop or barely
enough to feed a mule. 1 he sustain
ed excitement amounts to what you
would get out of a four months' poker
game in which you had staked every
thing. Oh, there's plenty of excite
ment about it, and I've become so
accustomed to the feature of it that
I'm lost withont it." This farmer
was a Greek letter fraternity man,
and, ludicrous as it may seem, he un
questionably spoke with the utmost
seriousness. New York Tribune.
It my save you time and money to
be informed that, when you need a
blood-purifier, Ayers Sarsapanlla is
the kind most in favor with the medi
cal profession. It is the standard and,
as such, the only blood-purifier ad
mitted at the Chicago World's Fair.
Shaving a Lady.
A story is going the rounds concern
ing " I om the barber, whose dex
terity with the razor is a household
word in Bombay.
A lady just arrived from England
drove to the hotel in Bombay which
had been recommended her and was
given a spacious bedroom, which she
was told had just been vacated by a
military officer who had gone up
country. She was very tired and very
sleepy, and after dinner she retired at
once to rest, with an instruction that
she was not to be disturbed in the
morning.
Imagine her surprise when, shortly
after sunrise, she awoke to find half
her face covered with lather and a
ferocious native holding a razor in
close proximity to her throat. She
shrieked aloud, and Tom the barber,
for it was he, fled.
When the alarm subsided, it tran-
spired that Tom had a contract to
shave the departed officer at a certain
time every morning, asleep or awake,
and that he was unaware of the fact
that the bedroom had changed hands.
Tom makes it his boast that he can
shave a man without arousing him
from slumber. Scottish Nights.
Are These Bills Jokes?
Right in line with a whole lot of
other fool bills that have been intro
duced since the thirty-ninth general
assembly of Missouri began its session
was one by Representative Wamsley
of Jackson county. The bill provides
that railroad companies shall he nro.
hibited from using wooden rails and
tying tnem with a string.
The penalty attached thereto for
violation of the law is $50,000. Of
course it is understood that this was
a huge joke, but its introduction was
no more nonsensical than that of
scores of others whicn are bobbing
up daily. As an examnle of those
that are not introduced as jokes may
uc meniionea one which was sprung
by Representative Spoflord, which
provides for the creation of a hoard
for inspection of barbers as to their
capability Cleveland Plain Dealer.
When the blood is tent
-J- - f-THB, HUU
the system thoroughly invigorated by
the use of Ayer's Sarsaparilla, sudden
changes of temperature and extremes
of heat and cold, so characteristic nf
certain climates, are rarely attended
wan injurious results. Take it now.
Lincoln's Bat a Football.
The favorite hat worn hv Abraham
Lincoln was a tall "stovepipe." It
nas Deen aescriDed as a foot high,
with a brim almost as w!l aa
southern sombrero. Manv anecdotes
are connected with that famous tall
hat. In it Mr. Lincoln
of his valuable papers, the briefs of
his law cases and other documents,
says the Youth's Companion.
un me nignt ot Mr. Lincoln's elec
tion to the presidency several ladies
who had gathered at the old home
stead at Springfield testified their glee
by using the hat as a football.
A few of us went to assist Mrs.
Lincoln about the supper which was
to be given some gentlemen who had
come in to hear the returns. It was
after midnight before enough had
been learned to warrant the belief
that our candidate was elected. We
went nearly wild with joy and con
gratulate I Mr. Lincoln most
heartily.
Some one saw the famous "stove
pipe" in the hall, and, seizing it,
threw it up to the ceiling. Another
caught it, and then it went the rounds
till it fell on the floor, when one gave
it a kick and then another and
another gave it a send off till it was
so battered that it had lost all resem
blance to its original shape. Mr.
Lincoln looked on and smiled good
naturedly at the childish perform
ance.
H
Important Notice I
The only genuine "Baker's Chocolate,"
celebrated for more than a century as a de
licious, nutritious, and flesh-forming bever
age, is put up in Blue Wrappers and Yel
low Labels. Be sure that the Yellow
Label and our Trade-Mark are on every
package.
WALTER BAKER & CO. Ltd., Dorchester, Mass.
HllllimmilllHIIIIIIIIIHMIIIHMtMHHHI
ALEXANDER BROTHERS & CO.
DEALERS 1ST
Cigars, Tobacco, Candies, Fruits and Huts
SOLK AGENTS FOR
Henry Mail lard's Fine Candies. Fresh Every Week.
JplTXT 000133 -A. GPECIALTY.
SOLE AGENTS FOR
F. F. Adams & Co's Fine Cut Chewing Tobacco
Sole agents tor tbe
Honry Clay, Londrc3, Noraal, Indian Princess, Samson, Silver Adi
Bloomsburg Pa.
For the finest and best stoves, tinware, roofintr. snmirlno-
and general job work, go to W. VV. Watts, on Iron street.
Buildines heated bv steam, hot air or hot water in a satisfar.
tory manner. Sanitary Plumbing a specialty.
1 nave tne exclusive control ot the 1 batcher steam, hot
water and hot air heaters ior this territory, which is nrknnwl.
edged to be the best heater on the market. All work guaranteed.
IRON STREET.
SHOES
We buy right and sell right.
OUR SUCCESS IS BASED ON THIS FACT.
Honest trading has won us hosts
we are selling good shoes, so good you ought to see
them. Drop in and we will make it pay you.
Cohnee Iron and Main Sts.
IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF
CARPET, MATTING,
or OIL CLOTH,
YOU WILL FIND A NICE LINE AT
W. H. BKOWIM
2nd Door above Court IIoubc,
A large lot of Window Curtains in stock.
ASK FORTHE ftfcKLET ONlIGhT' AND
V
GIVES 'fcBEST IIGHT IN THE
FOR SALE BY
.THE ATLANTIC REFINING OO.B
The Broomstick Preventive.
Cassius White, aeed 2. is the
of a well to do landowner and has
been regarded as a swell beau in
Paintsville, Ky. He fell deeply in
love with pretty Mamie Huff, aged 18.
He made known his devotion to the
parents of the young woman after
winning the heart of Mamie. They
objected. He was dissipated, and
they would not consent fnr Tim-
risk her fortune with such a youth.
ove couici not be put aside and
laughed at reason. They planned to
elope, and in telling mutual friends
auoui me plan the girl's mother got
an inkling, and as he Rtole up in the
moonlight to carry his prize away the
uiuincr iay in waiting with a broom
stick and struck him a hav m
felling him to the ground. She then
publicly whipped the girl.
This severe chastising h.is
quered the young lovers, who now
uok ior anotner day when they will
not be foiled St. fyuis Kejtllic.
Try the COLUMBIAN a year.
""
following brands of Cigars-
W. W. WATTS,
Bloomsburg, Pa.
io-iir
SHOES
of customers but we want more.
W. H. floore.
W6B19 A9iyTEiySVFE
There it a Class of People
Who are injured by the use of coffee.
Recently there has been placed in all
the grocery stores a new pre paratian
called GRAIN-O, made of pure grains
that takes, the place of coffee. The
most delicate stomach receives it with
out distress, and but few can tell it
from coffee. It does not cost over I
as much. Children may drink it with
great benefit, iscts. and ascts. pe
dackage. Try it. Ask for GRAIN-O
Blair County Auditors allow the
County Treasurer Tohn F. Akers. one
per cent, for receiving and alike
saving $4000 a year on his fees for
the county.
An 8 mill tax rate has been fixe J
upon for Harrisburg.
Send for a copy of Tasker's Beautiful
Song "Gone Forever'VThe very latest.
Pronounced by critics to be the pretti
est song ever written. .Price 40 cts. At
music stores ,or sent upon receipt of
price by David T. Tasker. Bloomsburg,
IV Mil II
1"
i