THE HIRED MAN. & "You're com, hiT you?" laid my mother in law, in a dp voice, as she stood on the threshold, griiuljr mirroying ' me with ores tliat shono like liard, ;renish-bluo gooseberries behind her jpectnclss. It wet rather a curious complication. Mr mother-in-law had not the lnnst idea who I was. I had cheerfully intended to take her by surprise ; but now that the eventful moment had arrived, my cour age tras ooriug out at the ends of my lingers. My same is Richard Dalton. I was then just twenty-one, with a face that was not absolutely ugly, a sublime au dacity and pockets not particularly well lined, and I had just distinguished my self by running away with a pretty girl from boarding-school. "But, Dick," she bad remonstrated, "we're nothing to lire on. " "Don't be a goose, darling," had been my reply. " What do people need to lire on ? All the wants of this world, more or less, are fictitious. A crust of bread and a glass of water three times a day, and now and then a suit of clothes we must be poor, iudeed, if we can't manage to compass that. " Nettie had looked admiringly upon me, and acquiasoed in my argument We bad taken board at the Antral Hill Hotel, and began our honeymoon royally. At the end of a month mine hoet had be come a little importunate on the eubject of his bill, and Nettie's mother bad writ ten a letter to her, signifying that she wanted nothing whaterer to do with us. We had made our own bed, she signified, and now we might lie on it. "Oh, Dick," cried Nettie, clasping her hands, "what are we to do?" "Hanged if I know!" was my rather blank response. But don't cry . darling, I'll go and see her myself." "You, Dickl" jaaa. "I. myself." "She'll have nothing to say to you." "She can't help herself." "She'll turn you out of doors. " "We'll see about that." "But, Dick, you don't know you can't liare any idea how terrible she is," sighed Nettie. "Saint Goorje conquered the dragon, my lore," I aasertfd, cheerfully, "and I mean to couquer your mother! So pack my ralise, there's a darling, and I'll be off before the laudlord comes back from Boston 1" "But, Dick, if he's troublesome, what can I soy to him ?" appealed poor little, frightened Nettie. "Tell him I're gone out of town, and shall be back in a few days," said I, con fidently. But when I walked resolutely up to my mother-in-law's door she greeted me as if I had becu expected for the last week or so. "You're come, hare you?" was the salutation. "Well, yes," I admitted, "I're come." "What on earth detained you?" said she. In my mind I cast about what to say, and settled on the first conrenient ex cuse that came into my head. "The train was delayed at Bogletown," 3aid I. "Well, come in, now that you're here," she said, "and get warm. Ita awful cold weather for this time o' year, isu't it?" "Kinder," said I, with an assenting cod. "You are married, I suppose?" she aid. "Oh, yes, "said I, swallowing the hot coffee and winking my eyes rery hard, "I'm married." "Can your wife make herself generally useful about the place?" aharply de manded the old lady. "Certainly she can, "said I, beginning raguely to see my way through the mists of perplexity that had heretofore obscured rny brain. "How old is she ?" asked Mrs. Martin, i. "Eighteen," I answered. Mrs. Martin frowned. "What does possess girls to get mar ried nowadays," said she, "beforo they've left oil dolls and patchwork ?" I looked thoughtfully down at the pat tern of my plate a pink Chinaman cross ing a carmine bridge, with two rery red willows drooping at the far end of it, and some impossible streaks of weather be low and made no direct answer. My mother-in-law was doubtlessly laboring under a misapprehension, but I did not oxactly see that it was my business to set her right She had evidently en gaged a hired man, and took it fot granted that I was the personage in question. "What can you do?" she asked, ab ruptly. And with equal curtueas I re sponded : "Anything." "Come, I like that," said my mother-in-law, rubbing her hands. "At least you are not afraid of work. Do you un derstand cows and horses ?" "Well not much," I owned. "There were no cattle at my last place. " (Which waa very true, for I had been a clerk in a bank at $300 a year.) "But I have not the least doubt that I could soon learn if you would kindly show me what is ex pected of me." "Can you cut wood ?" she asked. "Certainly," said I, reflecting to my self that any fool might do that. She asked one or two questions more, which I answered with the blind fatuity which attends youth and confidence, 8he seemed pleased at my willingness to undertake anything and everything. "And now about wages," eaid she, briskly. "What will you ask for your own services aud those of your wife by the month?" I fitted the tips of my fingers reflective together. "As we are both rather inexperi enced," said I, "we'll agree to work the first month for our board. After that you shall pay us what you think .we are toth worth. " "Hum hum!" saidmy mother-in-law. "That's a sensible proposition a very sensible one, indeed. Well, send for the young woman at once. In the mean time I'll show you over the place aad cxplaia to you the nature cf your da, ties." So I hired myself out to my motlter-ia law ns fiirinliniiil, without further rero mony, Ami immediately wrote and posted a letter to Ni-lti. Ou my return from t'io prtstofl'a-e I met a burly young man niodituliu2 at a spot where four roads rm-et. "Can you tell me, sir," said he, " whero Mrs. Abel Martin lives?" "Oh, yes, sir; I can tell yon," I re sponded, ntfably. "Hut if you're look ing for the situation of hired man I may Is well tell you Hint it'e tilled." Tho burly young man made some re marks, indicative, in a generol way, of his opinion of the fickleness of woman- ind, and departm), while I returned re 'iicing to the old farmhouse. "Here's a rery nice beginning," said I t myself. It is now my business to give js much satief action hs possible." Fortune favored me in more wars than ono. My mother-in-law sprained her ankle on the second day, and I played cook as wo! I a muu-of-all-work with dis tinguished success, and I had the satis faction of hearing her say to old Miss PriscilU Porkins that "she didn't know when she'd taken such a notion to any cue as she had to the new hired man!" "He's too young and good-looking. to (uit me," olMorred Miss Prisoilla, purs k g up her steel-trap of a mouth. "He is good-looking, aiu't he?" said my mother-In law. "But he's dreadful handy about the house, and he aiu't one bit afraid of work. And you'd ought to hare n t'ie oysters he stewed for my supper last uiirht. and the cup of tea he made. Why I don't mia Jemima Stiles oue bit. If only Nettie could hare stayed single till she met such a man ls this!" I smiled to myself as I laid out tho kindling for the breakfast fire. My ao complUh meats as " Jauk-of-all-trades" had never done me much good before, lint now they were omUiuly winning rue some credit in the world. At the end of the third day she had told me the whole story of hr daughter's ruuawny match with "a good-for-nothing young city chap." Ou the fourth day she hail con-mtted with me as to whether it would be better to put the forty-acre lot into oaU or rye, a-id I hail won her heart by taking to pieces the old hull-clock, which had not gone for ten years and restoring it to running order once agniu. And ou the evening of the same day Nettie arrived, all blushing nod trem bling. "Oh, Dick," said aha, "is she vory ngty?" "My dear," said I, "she hasn't an idea who I am. " "But, Dick" "No buts,' my darlinff," said I. cheer fully. "Let us be Julius Cax.tr over again. ' We come, we seo, we con quer.'" And I dragged my unwilling little wife into the back room, where my mother-in-law lay on a sofa, nursing her ankle. Mrs. Martin jumpod up, spite of the wounded ankle. "Here's my wife, ma'am," said I, "and I hope she'll gire satisfaction. " "Nettie," she cried, in blank amaze ment. "Oh, mother, mother!" faltered Nettie, throwing . both hands around the old lady's neck, "please forgire me this timo and I'll never, nerer elope again. " "Please ma'am, we'll be good, "added L And my mother-in-law relented on the spot. How could she do otherwise ? "Henrietta," said she, "you're been a naughty girl there's uo denying that. But your husbaud seems a handy man about the house, and I'm tirod of living here alone. So take off your things and go to work getting supper. As for you, Kichard-" "Yes, ma'am, I know," said I. "I're been playing a double part aud deceired you all along. But I wanted you to like me and you know," I added, "all is fair in love aud war!" "Well, I do like you a little, "admitted my mother-in-law. "And now that I hare seen you, Dick, I don't so much wonder at the way Nettie behaved. " After that she nerer scolded us any more. And I honestly believe that this is the only case on record in which a mother-iu-law was conquered in so brief a campaign. Nettie says she doesn't know how I did it In fact, I don't quite know, myself. Amy Randolph, in New York Ledger. Hog's Lard -AND- Ice Water MAKE Dyspepsia. Orlft-la ef a Famaae Ward. Emmanuel, one of the earliest of the Dukes of Savoy, is known to fame as the Turncoat He obtained this nickname for a curious reason. His territories were inconveniently near to the forces of both Spain and France, with which powers he found it necesssry to be on friendly terms, as they were often in the habit of invadiug his dukedom. How ever, he had to side sometimes with the one, sometimes with the other, according to which were stronger at the moment. So he had a coat made that was blue on one side and white on the other. When be took part with Spain he wore the blue side the Spanish color out; when he wanted to stand well with the French he turned the white side out. There was something to be said for ths poor man in such a fix, but history, that has no mercy, only knows him aa the Turncoat, A favorite instance In England of a man who always took care to be on the right side was the famous Vicar of Bray, The Tricky Hlado. Another ingenious device of the mild Ilindoo is to drill a hole in the thickness of a rupee, and then, with infinite labor and skill, to scrape the silver from the Inside, leaving only a sort of shell with out damaging the impression or the ring. Lead is then poured gently in, mixed) with some alloy which gives the requi site ring, and the hole is carefully closed. Only a very keen and experienced eye can detect the imposture. The silver which is thus abstracted will be worth less than a shilling, and the manipulator has still his rupee to spend. But the operation may occupy him the greater portion of a week, during which time be might have earned two rupees by honest work. . USE Gottolene INSTEAD OF Lard, and not only will there be NO DYSPEPSIA.but dyspeptics can eat the Pies, Calces, &c, made with it. COTTOLENE is HEALTHIER, and good Cooks say BETTER than Lard. MADK BY N.K. FAIRBANKS CO. CHICAGO, and I3S N. Delaware Ave., Philada. ELY'S rnv nt tut 11 Cleans the Nasal Passages, Allays Pain and Inflammation, Heals the Sores. Restores the Sense of Taste and smell. Catarrh M7ClloreCOVW rlAr?ttRflf; s v-iTl lis $4 TBYTHE CURE HAY-FEVER A pnrtlcle ls AnnHeil Into pitch nostril nnd Is nurt'f HDie. i-nce ac cents ni iiriiirirmrx: nv mall roistered, 80 cts. ELY DUOTUEK. 58 Wurren 8t , N .Y. Ftvrpri ; Twm Mn t Trrj ft Co. nimri4 artel atant at. I w.rfc4 atMi)'? an4 marl anonny ftr elan I spacUd in. 1 bacamaalilntobiiy an taUnd andtiulld ftamall arums If I don't nrcwv-1 at thai, 1 will tro to work attin at thm buain In which I ntario my money. Trw At e.i Khali Inatrnrt and atari yon. roeuJ rt If w d.t. ami If 70 wtk tnUiwtrinti-ly, you will In dtia ttniflha hlainbttTnlatand and build a lintel, ifyonwUh t. M nj can h aaruwd at nr m w Una of work, rap Mly and hoiturabiy. by lima nf Ither yntinc or old. and In thejlrown lfWA.lt I wliaravar thry fira. Any on canduthawork. EatyWl.tarn. WafWmUhavarvthtiir- No rlv on davoutynar apnra Momenta, or all your iima t tliawork. Thia antlroly nw load brirno wontierfnt toe reMitoetvary wrkr. Hatrinnttra ara Mrning from sM5 t tCMt pnr wwta and nnwrtnU, and mora aftar a lltilaaspo rlnnr). in fimlh yn thnemplovtnmit wataciiytfj H K Thia ia an as; .f marvaloda tlilnira, and hra U armtli.'r srraat, nfful. waaltli (drlnn woo lar. ilrual irnias will rwHrd awy indaatr.na worker. Whoravwr yon art, ami wli4tav.tr yutj ara dolne. ym wnnt tn fctiuw ihnrit thia wmihI.mTiU work at wire. leUy naana mneli munrv lt to T-n. No eo to ainUta bare, hr.t i! yju will wrlta t na. IVeTl'l " 7'n PRE I.. AnMreaa, Ul fc CO., x 400. Aurwaiav, Met la. MONEY Wisely invested will soon double itself, and theie are often as many elements of safety surrounding a good paying invest ment as one that pavs small dividends. The earning capacity of every investment is the foundation of dividends. The AtMnSO? HjSS Furnishing CO., "f Maine, Organised in 1887, has paid its stockholders 9 semi annual dividends of 5 per cent, each (10 per cent, a year) and is earning a handsome sur plus liesidcs. It is a buy and sell business and a safe investment for all classes. The authorized capital is 9l.ooo.ooo, of which 9570,000 has been paid in. To further in crease the business, $180,003 of the Treas ury Stock is offered until March 15th, at par, 10 per share, l'riee of stock will be ad vanced February 18th to take effect on above date. For full particulars address the com- vnny, liox 1218, Baton. Kui. or?ort!8nl, ifs. Scientific American Agency for V I rv V a 1 1 a I 1 I hT" ,TSJADI MARKS), k 4OIIOM PATENTS rrrrer copyrights, ato. For Information and free Handbook write tn MUNN a CO.. 3til Bkoadwat, Nw Yohk. Oldest bureau for securing patents tn Ameiioa. Every patent taken out by us Is brought before tbe public by a notice glyen free of charge tn the cicutific JUimcau Lanritst etrmlattoa of any sHentlfln paper In the world. Bulendtdly lllu.trnuxl. No Intelligent nan should be without It. Weekly. 83,00 a vuar; fl.ll) six months. Address MUNN A CO. l'libLisuius, 3til Broadway. New York. LAFAYETTE COLLEGE. 13ASTON, PA. Cava.. Anuria In 1 . Tl.llo.,..l... J Civil, MiuiDK and Ktcctrical l':iilncerlnn, and tiii-nnsiry. Aiinimi i oninii'iicenieni, jiine'tfin. Full term brains September litli. For Cat Bionue, aauress TBE BEGI3TRAR, Easton, Pa. WALL PAPEP. to send 8e. to pay poetaoe on our beautiful Hue of oer 100 matched nami.U'i at lowest prices. Address If. U. OAlt'. iM Hluu 8U I'rovliluuoe, R. L It will pay anyone In want of Ba B eas--aiB rr t"Ui nro t uaiuiueed Fa. tSHU at ucti. f one. -.- ruaibjit dnlav. Thjitsan'l of eus. imMavitUm notei renn, Kenuiug, ra., sjooun hrlurday of Jb.'tUa UI)U'. ' VilC'illUI, VJTIlieU.S. PHILLIPS . k 1 4. A Mi The shade of a parasol is a very acceptable thing in the summer months, but the reputation of Philips' cafe ant ! nltery cannot be thrown in the shade at any time the year round- Dread and cakes fresh every day. "e are sole agents for Tenney's fine candies: Icet Cr'ea m always. Ca tering for parties and weddings a specialty. Special terms to regular boarders in the Cafe. M.M. PHILLIPS & SON. BLOOMSBURG, PA. KESTY& HOFFMAN, Practical Maclii nists We repair Engines, Boilers, Saw Mills, Threshers, Harvesters. Mowers and all kinds of machinery. WE HANDLK STEAM PIPE FITTINGS, VALVES, STEAM GAUGES. And all kinds ot Repairs. riPE CUT TO OKDER. AGENTS FOR J Garfield kjsctor Co., Garfield Douclo Jet Injector, Automatic and Locomotive Injector. ???"All work done bv us'is guaranteed to eive satisfaction, and all work in our line will be promptly attended to SH0P3 6th and OEKTEE ETBEETI?. J3R. BAJTOJEZTB ELECTRIC BELT 1ST nriivtatiTs. WITH tiKTII. MAIIITII tUMIHIT. Will ear wltaeat stlsl all Waaaatas ranlllai tna at aruiallaa r brala. a.rv fareai, ! ar laillaer.llaa. eMiul ihaaall.a. Sralat. !. avr.aa S.bllU. tUcp. lii-BMiia, .ta. atwaaU ..M all HMaaa. laasuar, rSauautUa, BlSaty. Ilvar aai al.laat, Urn. Smi. liabaia. .Iftll.. a.aral Thia rlatlrla ball aaaaalaa Waa.rAal ath.n, anS tlvM a .urr.at that li laaUaily fan br lb waarar ar w farlaU SS.Oee.ee. aad IU tara all al Iba eboit SlaM. ar aa aav. ThaaHaaa ba.a a avraS hy tbli aaarv.l.aa ia.atl.a ahar all eth.r r.wadla falUd, aad vtflvt baa Arad. al taatlaiaaUlt la tbls aad :.rj athar itau. Oat aawarfal laipr.T.d KLSCTBIC SlaVMaT la tat gTMlaM aaaa .r.r .l.r.d tat bb... VMIS WITHiLL BKLTH. HMltk aad tltara.a Slraawtk ttl A HA RTSSS la a la ee 4I. Saad far larfa Ulattratad aaaiyaltM, aaalta, (rat hf aaall. dddr.ai tuvnujuv msonuo C7C9.. No.ai9Sroadway.NIW VORK. .11111 TBEARTIST. Makes now the finest Poktrahs and Cravons. Is having his Gallery remodled and fitted up in fine style, and the only first class north light in the county. 12 CABINETS $1.00. ut Also having a wagon on the road fitted with the latest improvements for taking in views, Portraits and Tintypes, will call at your door without extra charge. Reserve your photos as we carry a full line copying samples till we call at upper place. Srop us a postal card and w will set a 4y t call oa you. Gallery Main St., next to St. Klmo Hotel, BLOOMSBURG, PA. Fishing Tackles. USES, ltOllS.IIOOKH, FI.tEH, UKKLB, MOVNTINUH OK AM. INSCRIPTIONS, WHAT EVKK IS WANTED FOR CiOOD FISHINU. call una sec before piircUnslnK HsowUere. K, It, lilTTKNHKNItKH. .-- in. - JJtuton, I'a. .MECES Repair department for Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, is the best in the ' county. Work guaranteed. Dorflinger's cut glass. Silverware, Spoons, Knives and Forks at very reasonable prices. FINE CHINA VASES AND SOVENIR CUPS AND SAUCERS. o ISargaln 8 liny1 x-a liour strike, solid walnut and oak CLOCKS $3.50 to $4.50 Guaranteed. SOLID COLD 8kt Glasses $3To. 10 kt 5.00. 14 kt 6.00 to 800. All glasses fitted Free cf Charge. C. B. E'OBBM, DEALER IN Foreign and Domestic WINES AND LIQUORS. Bloomshurq. Pa. n U innno I Easily, quickly and permanently by Or. Tafl't CTIITI H I FNP laHtflllMMLCIIC You will admit after having taken a few dose that It u . iclc fr!.tterr,bl disease. Instead of flying to the door or window. a.r.in. Z b eathVseerning as , eah o ww'XfzW or he ASTHMALENE when the spasm is Broken, the breath ng bom easy and I'.l5 'i som anel ,of i"ercy had "n'oosed the iron grasp of 8 fingers of S that had nearly deprived you of life. H angers or aeain, IT IS AS HARMLESS AS THE FOOD YOU EAT worst cases ot SiH is the wonder and admiration of all who'a usrtTVhJ hpt moment of your lifa will be when you have used a bottle of DR TATTS toTrriVlnrt EN F an( ?"n t has cured you of the most distress rOR BROW MTTTxeiTr Sing dlseasej that ever afflicted the human family. a BRONCHITIS it surpasses every known remedy. For sale by all drugRists. A trial bottle a.nt fre. to M, one .dimlT P. 0. svddres. who suffer, from AatW Or. TAFI BROS. MEDICINE CO., 142 State !., Rochester, fi T ALEXANDER BROTHERS & CO. DEALERS IX Cigars, Tobacco. Candies, Fruits and ITuts SOLE ACE.VTS FOR Henry Halliard's Fine Candies. Fresh Every Wk. FOSTiT-r acCIDS JV. GPECIALTV, SOLE AGENTS FOR F. F. Adams & Co's Fine Cut Chewing Tobacco Sole ag-ents for the following brands of Clears: Henrj' Clay, Londrcs, Normal, Indian Princess, Ss.ir.scr., Silver Ash Bloomsburg. Pa. OUR NEW PARLOR FURNITURE DEPARTMENT Occunviu? the entire fnnrt.1i fl mr nf rl Liuilding adjoining our douhle store, contains an interesting ex hibit of furniture designed for use in the best room of tho house, lhe new passenger elevator makes it easy of access. Wake this department a visit it will be a profitable one. The stock is wucia.u.jr uuuugiDg. xnere is always something new coming in, and V0U find herft tho nrnnnr tliitin-o :.. a li our parlor furniture lies beauty of outline, comfort, harmony ki. v,v4V wuiummiuu ana uuraouity. r stock suitable for all parts of the house is complete. Kemember we pay the freight on goods bought of us. V003HIS & MURRAY, "US&f IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF CARPET, HATT1I09 or OIL CJLOTII, YOU WILL FIND A NICE .LINE AT W. ffiL BKDWIE'S 2ui Door above Court House. A large lot of Window Curtains in stock. LOST MANHOOD! (Pivar'i Kraach hcrva Rtmady,)ii oldwi.haWdlt.a Oitaranla locura 11 Nervous diftca. aurk a. W..V a aSlcmorv. Lois ot Brain J'owcr, Nr- wnnanaia. llaarf. eiroas AND AFTSN USS. sells. W.kaful nan, Lost Manhood, Lassitude, all drains and lost of power in either sex, cauted by overexertion 01 youthful Indiscretion, which ultimately lead to In fiimity, Con.umption anil lnaunity. Price, li.oo ackaiia. With every . orOer we give a wrrlar guarantae io euro or refund money. By mail tc sny address. PIVER'B FttMEOY CO., Tel.do, 0. GET THE BEST. My Plymouth Rocks and Red Caps are great favorites, as is proven by my past success. Eggs of either kind $1.50 Per 13 or $2.50 per 26. Write for information. W. B. GERMAN, Millv illej'a.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers