RATES OP ADVERTISING. urn AMI) glatfiwufaivji gjCML H rUllMBllKD KVUIIY FRIDAY JIORNlNU tN THE OOLUMI1IAH JlUILlltNO NEAltTHR couiiT Housn, laoousnuna, iA by CHARLES B. BROCKWAY, KDiion amd rnorniETon. Toro:Trco Dellars a tear payatlo In advaceo, JOB EMITTING .if illdoscrtptlons executed with neatness nnd v ' .llu..nlnhiil fcnkntinlilornlpi. Oolumbia Oountv Offloial Directory, ;yWnl Jmloe-WtLt.IAM KIATILL. UfOCtCl'e.UUi'e J.A3l IKM. iBAAU O. , ':'voWotio((itT,.lc.-Hni)oi.rii It. IltNai.Kn. jteaMeTil: Itceorder Williamson H.JACi Dtitriet Attorney JAM W.lillYBON, Jit. ytioc(aiiU(tfej Iiiam Dkiih, Isaac; 8. Molt- JAC011Y. . I utr A llmu UMtTII hoveuor 1HAA0 DKWITT. Jrrntirer WILLIAM I.AMOJf. Cnmmhiloncrt 1,'Yliira lloiuims, HlIiAM .1. JtrfcliKH, WILLIAM BlIAFFKIl. tvinrnfjilone-rV Ctcr William KntCKiiAUM, Auditor) U. J. CAMI'UELL, DANIEL l.KE. t'UAHLEH CnNNKK Coroner CMAHLK9 O. Mont-IIY. ,i7' CbmmlMtoiicrJ iHAAOMcUitlDn, John Ma; Ccmiiii Superintendent fn. II. Bkyhek. Jlloom 1'oor TilttrM Directors, R. II. Miller William Kiiameii, lllooinshnrg, unit Johnsoii lKt.I.Elt.OrH'UWOOl), CHAllLLULONNEn.tiCC'y. Bloomsuurg Offloial Directory, lllMimitvrg Hanking Co. JOHN -A. KUNSION l'lo-tueni, II. II. U110TZ, (.'ashler. ,. lrxt National Jlank C1IAS. It. rAXTON.rrcs't , J. I'. Ti'stin. Cnlilr. , l,limblaCuuntuMUmlBatnaFuiidmdTMnnA' todnltonU. II. Little, l'rcs't., U. W. AIilleb, HfC'j Jlloomibura Hutldtna and Bavlnn Fund AMorta Inn-WM. I'kacock, l'rcs't., J, 11. lleiiiisoN.Bec. JHommbura Mutual oVlrtric; JVnd A Moc'rltton J.J. lmowtu President, V. O.UAIIKLEY, Bec'y. Ohuroh Directory. l'llESllYTEIUAN CHURCH. .UinMcr-Itcv. Htusrt Mllclioll. Hutibath .Scmcfl-IUK A. JI.; 7 1". M. AVl66rlAAtiooI-A.M. ... lfmicr HccUna Wcduoiday. 7 1. M. Heats freo; uo pews rented; strangers wel come. Blooinnburg Diroctory. IiAl'EKHAOH'nM received nnd for talo ut the Columiiian Olllce. CLOTIIlNaT&C. DAVID I.OWENllEltO, MerchantTullor.Mnlii ht.,atiovo Aniertcanlloim-, CLOCKS, WATCHES, AO. i E. HAVAOE, dealer In Clocks, WntclicH and y. Jewelry, Mulu St., Just below tlio American House. r OUIS HEltNHARD, Watch and Clock maker j near southeast corner Main and Iron Bis. n' OATIICAItT, Watch and Clock Maker.Mar It, kcl street, below Main, BOOTS AND SHOES. EM, iCNOItll, Dealer In lloots and Bhocs, latest and hist styles, comer Main and Market streets, In tlio old l'ost Olllce. HKNKY Kf.EIM, Manufacturer and dealer In Hoots and Mines, Oroccrles, etc., Main street, i:n 1l!loomsburc. PROFESSIONAL. D It. II. C. 1IOWUU, Hurceon Dentist, Main St.. atiovo tuo uoun iiouse. H. WM. M. KEHER, SurROon and I'liyslclan. Olllco over mo nrsiraiiouai hum. n (l.HARKLEY,Attornoy-at-i.aw. 021cc,2d l, lloorln thecoliwililan building. Til. McKKI.VV.M. D., Burgeon nnd I'liyslclan J . north side Main St., below Market. T (3. RUTTEU, M. D. Burceon and Physician ij. Markot street, abovo Main, r 11. RoniSON, Altorncy-at-Law, (lllci Hart i) , man's building, Main street. DIl. I), V. KINNEY, Burgeon Dentist. Teeth extracted without pain; Main bt., nearly op oslto Episcopal Church, T It, EVANS, M. D Burseon nnd Phvslelnn .1 north sldo of Main street abovo J, K.Eycr's. DIt.A. 1. TtTHNEH, Physician and Sinceon, nf tleo over Kleltn's Dina Rtoie, itHliii nco one ilonr below Itev. 1). J. Waller. MILLINERY & FANCY GOOHS. V PETEllMAN, Millinery nnil riinry i.nnus, 17 . opposlto Episcopal Church, Main st, Ml KB I.17.Z1K HAItKI.EY, Milliner. KninRey bnlldiUKMain street, MIKM M. DEItniCKSON, Millinery Hint Eaucy (Joods, Main St., below Market. M1IH. JUI.IA A. A &AIIR HAKKI FY Ladle"' Cloaks nnd Dress Patterns, noun.. ii corner Main and Weststs. rnlli: MISSEH IlAItMAN Milllnerv ami Fancy 1 (loods Maluhl,, below Amcrlenn House, HOTELS AND SALOONS. tfOltKB HOTEL, by T. Ilcnt. Taylor, east end T of Main stieet. MERCHANTS AND OltOCERS. M C. MAHK. Dry Goods and Notions, south U west corner Main and Iron His. IiOX A WEIill, Confecllnnery and I'akery, f wholesalo nnd retail, ExclianKe P.lock. HtMIOWEIt, Hats nnd Taps, IioolsnndBhocs, . Main St., above Court House. 1 II. MAIZE. Mnmmolh Grocery, lino Gro ,1. rerles, Fruits, Nuts, Provision, Ac., Main find Ccntro Streets. t M'ICELVY, NKAI. A CO., dealers in Dry Goods, Groceries, Flour, Feed, Ball, Fish. lion, Nails, eti,N. E. cor. Main and Market tts. fi II. MIT.T.un kon. dealers in Drv Goods, i Groceries, (jueensware, Flour, Kail, Bhocs, motions, eic.Aiainsi. MISCELLANEOUS. OM. CHUIKTMAN, Baddlo, Trunk A Harness, , maker, Bblve's llloek Mnlu Street. W. nonillNS.llrinordenlerseconddoorfrom w nonnwesi corner jiain anu iron sis. V J. THOllNTON, Wall Paper. Window Blmdes Vi. and flitr.rts, Itupert block. Main St. f W. COftEI.I,, Furniture Hooms, three story u- urick, JlaluHtieel.wesioiiia HltOSENBTOCK.Photocrapher, & Eycr'n Store, Main St. over Itobblnn WM. ItABll, dealer in fnrnltnro, trunks, ccdot wjuow ware, near ine Miras iioiei. V H. I1IDI.KMAN, Apent for Muuson's Copper u luuuiar i.isuininE itou. fl FOSTEH, While and Fancy Tanner, and u. ueaier in ice,ftCouown, TOTK HOOKB. nnd blank NOTES, with or wllh 1' out oxomptlon.for sale at tho Columbian Catawissa, By. DAIJ.MAN, Merchant Tailor, Second St. . IlobbliiB' Ilulldlug. D H.J, K. IIOIIIIINS, Bnreoon and Physician neconu Mt uoiow Ainin, fllUlEUT & KI.INK.dry coods, KrocerleB.aud u cenerai niercnauuise, main nueni H. K1BTI.EU. "( atlowlssn House," North corner Aiiun anu eecouu aireeis. T KEILEU, nillnrd Saloon, Oysters, nnd Ice j. .reuiu in seusuii juuium. M . ury uooils, Groceries Ac, tJUSOUEHANNA or llrlck Hotel. H. Koslcn p bander Proprletor.soutli-castcorncrMalnnnd M. II. ABBOTT, Attorney at law, Main St. Light Street. H. V. OMAN A Co., Wueolwrlcuts, drat door "l0.l'N A, OMAN, Manufacturer and dealer lloots and Bhoea Ill R S. KNT ilbaln. 1.. Uln... an,, nl.i war. in all its brunches. llt.lhlt ENT. Miller, and dealer In all kinds oi lrcliute'd' 1 lour 'cci1' dc' Au klua IOl1" Espy. ;' W. KlIOAlt, BUkouelmmia I'laiilue Mil 1 'iid llox Man faclurW. Buck Horn, M..al Y' H. HHOKMAKF.lt, dealers In dry n goods (.rncoltrlcs nud general unrchaiulso VOLUME VI. ---NO, 62. Orangovillo Diroctory, D It. HEItlUNO ft nitOTIIEU.CarriontcrsntKl . llnlldeis, Main St., below l'lue. B KICK HOTEfj and refreshment Baloon, by ltoiirwiienry cor.oiiinin nnu nnosi. DIt. O.A.MEOAUGEIi,PhyslelnnandBitrgcon Main st,, next door to Good's Hotel, D AVID IIEUIHNO, Flour nnd Orlst Mill, and Dealer In Ernln.MUlBtreel, TAMES 11. II AHM AN. Cabinet Makor nud Uu o derlaker. Main St., below Pine, SCHUYI.EU A CO., Iron fouuners.Mncblnlsls and MnuufactuierH of plows, Mill St. SAMUEL SlIAltPLEBS.Maker of thollnyliurst Grain Cradle. Main Hi. Philadelphia Diroctory. WAiNWiuaii'r & coTr WHOI.ESAI.il GItOCEltS, N. II. Corner Second and Arch Streets, 1'IIII.ADELl'IllA, Dcaleis In TEAS, SYllUPS, COFFEE, SUOAK, M0LABBE3 RICE, Briers, III OARIl BODA, AC, AC. 3-0rdcrs will rccelvo prompt ntleutlon, may lo.07.tf. JJARVEY 1J. WALKER, with MKA.ll, SOIIROI'P & CO., 1MI'0U1F.1:S ANIUOIUIP.KHOK CHINA, OI.ASS AND QUEENSWAIIE, No. 10S NOIIT1I SECOND ST., PHILADELPHIA. coustimtrv on hand. lcuiM'72-lf. Bnsinoss Cards. II. LTTTLE, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Olllco Coiirl.IIouse Alley, below the CoLUM lllAN Office, llloomsburg Pn, Q U. RROCKWAY, A'i 1 Ui;iM ti X Al 1JA vr , iiLooMsiiur.o, rA. 3-OrFicE Court House Alley. In tho Co lumiiian butklliiL'. Jani,'67. c, "V. MILLER, ATTOltNEY AT LAW, U1IIUI, luilll iiuunu v.ivj , ui iutY in" vui.u- iiian Olllco, Bounties, linck-l'ay and I'cnslons collected. llloomsburE Pa. fiop.'J)'67 JOHN M. CLARK, At It. F. Clark's lato ofllcc. Main street. Bloomsburg, Pa, jyj F. EYERLY Has cnlcrcd Into tho Law and Collection busi ness with J ohn O. Freeze. Kq., Atlorney nt Law. olllco in Drawer's llulldln::. Main Htreet ULooMsiurim, Pa. iSOV. iOlll, 1Si.II. NEW- STOVE AND Tlti SHOP. ISAIAH HAGENBUCH. Main Street one door abovo E. Mendenhnll's Store. Ranges constantly on hand, and "for sale at the lowest, rnics. Tlnnlmr lu all Its branches carcfnlly attended to. ind satisfaction guaranteed. Tin work of all kluda wholesale and retail, a 'ial Is requested. Jan 171 JJLOOMSI5URQ .ii a it ci i i: u it tt. h. MAIN KTI'KFT. T1KLOW MAItKKT, BLOOMHUUHO, PA. MonunirnlH. Tombs. Headstones. Ac. Work nrnllv fXFrnfffl. Orders bv mail will recelvo special nllciitlon. N, II, Work delivered lreool cnari!e, J-. Jj, uuxsiuin, i-roprieiur. OC113 ,1-tf. l U. J10X V7, JARJTJAINS BARGAINS. QUICK BAT.FS AND HMALI. J'norjTb. SAVK YOUll MONHY. Go to 1IKNHY YOST. East Bloomsburg,Pa.,lor all kinds of Iho best home and city niado x u k n i i u iv i. . Prices reasonable and thu be-' -"irk done. Jan l7i f yULCAN WORKS, 1) A iN V J L L ri 1 j. WILLIAM II. LAW, Manufacturer or Wrought Irou Bridges, Hollers, Gasholders, Flreprnol ilulldlngx , Wiought Iron Hooting, Booting Frames, Flooring and Doors, Farm Gales and fencing, also Wiought Iron pip ing, Stacks nud all kinds of Smith Work, Ac. He pairs promptly attended to, N. I). Drawings und Kbtlmatts supplied. octK'71-iy. T ERNII ARD 8TOIINEU Would inform his friends and tho public that no lias taken possession oi mTJ c -r r dm j tvtt J I I 1 1 V J 111 . i j in tho F.xchango Block, so long occupied by lilm nud will carry on tho business of n FIRST-CLASS BAKERY, 1 rn lirln no tr. t lmliMi.!Tini.MflneTnprtenrn of m an V years and nssuus tho community that ho will lurntsh tbo bestof bread, cakes, rolls.blscult, Ac, Iresh every day. He proposes also to keep on nana u largo nuu wen usborivu uwicit oi FINE CONFECTIONERY, nr nil m-nilrM. Freiirh randies and (hope of do mestic mnuufacture.alwnyB to bo had, wholesale anil renin ai, inwesi rates, aujuiiuuk hid wmeij and Coulectlouery isn well established where may bo found Alo nud Lager, and Ito fri'Kiitiiriits. ovstersln sentou and thu various litllu delicacies which sultthopubllotaste. Thero is also a FINE ICE CREAM SALOON, over tho confectionery Rtore, wliero ladles and gentlemen can ouiam mo ucsi oi ice reaiu m season. A fair share of tho public custom Is requested nnU UOpaiUBWlll UW SI'UlCU IU lUiUlo r.uiiii;, Hon aprll :u,'7Ml EW DRUG STORE. CUIUS. A. KLEIM Hnvlng pnrihated tbo business of K. P. UAz now olleisat Hie old ttniid, a choice nssoi tint n oi DKUUS, CHHMICALS, PATENT MKDICINES, toili;t AivncLi:s, FANCY fcOAFF, IlItUSHK'J, 4c Ac, Ami a eineinl assnrlintut of tho choicest goods usually lound In Ilrsleluss eslalillshmeuls, Physicians' rirscrlpllous and Family Ueclpes Careliilly Compounded. on hiuiiliijs, open Horn 8 a. in., to 10 a, in., und II OlU A Jl, 1U,, IU It p. 1U. OE1IMAN AND F.NUL1B1I Sl'OK'EN. lubU'73-ir AGENTS! t'AM1'AIGN a"o N1) 11001 WAN CITIZENS' MANUAL A eompliio Political Corapend, for infer en varttei, J.ives oi nu iiioi'issiufiiis, anu inu i iu nit Presidential Luliuiuatis. mo tviuiiiHiicri ,i,a. at. mul Jiectaititlon of Jntlniendiuce. J' luteal Conventions, mul lnir Plailorms, Ccm lilite Flei lion Hetuins'o'uitCt'UbUs.kUil eilhu Hlatlsllinl 'Inbles, AC i!5U l'auti; to hnuruxing Price, II.S5. Jlookiilli altltht 10 to 1.0 rer e7 laiifjmeiifr. For I Irculars, nddtess Dl'FFIi.I.U ASlIMh Al. PublUhfr, sept C Iw 711 Hiiusuni St., 1'lilluJcU'lilu Miscollanoono. D E N T I S T It Y . If. C3. ItOWEU. nKNTIRT. Respectfully olTcrn his pmrosRloiinl services to tho 1 nil Icr fititl centlerncli of IIInoinKlMirKnud vi' clnlty. Ho In prepared to attend tonlltho varl oun operniinin in mo 11110 oi uih proirBsion, biiu q nrnvlilrtl Willi thn In. test linnrnvrd Poucki.ain TKirrn which will be inserted on cold plntlus Hilvcr nnu riiuurr unnu iu lutiit us wen uatuu uut ural teeth. Tcetli extruded by nil the new nu J most nr proved methods, nnd nil operations on thn teeth enrernllynnd properly ntlonded to, ues denco nna outre a low doors nnnve me Court HouKo.snmo Aide. uioomBimrg, jhu.i ti ly I NSURAN0E AGENCY. vomlim SiOO.lKd JKhm 4,IKXI,0(T Orient mo,m Hoyal of l,lerpool ll'oo.uo Danvlllo ilutual W'.UJO HirlUBIIcld S7d,i'i0 iermanin, n. v... &iio,fiiu International N.Y 1,(69,;SJ Farmers' Hanvllle Koo.nl Lnucastcr city imp.oi Homo 2,000,100 FIIEAS BUOWN, AcicnU iasi2C71 ly. BLoovsnuna Fa, SO. IIOWER, ipened a llrst-class BOOT, SHOE, HAT CAP, AND IU1! HIOI'.E. at the old stand on 3faln 8trcot,Bloomsbnrg,afew doorsabovo tho Court House. Ills stock Iscom- poseuoi mo very latest anu best styles over offer ed to the citizens of Columbln County. Ho can Accommodate the nubile with tlio following r.nniln at tho lowest rates. Men's heavy double soleel sloga boots, men's double and slnglo tap aoled 1.1,. I,nn(u ln,.'tl l.nn.,.. .1, nna nt nil 1 men's lino boots and sIioch or all erratics, bov'n double soletl boots nnd.shoes of all kinds, men's glovo kid Balmoral shoes.men's, women's, boys's huh jnisses' lusting gauers, women's glove rem Polish very 11 no,wimen's morocco Balmorals and calf shoes, women's very Hue kid buttoned gait ers. In short boots ol all descriptions both pec get! and sewed. iiu wnuiu aiso can aiieniion 10 nis nno assort ment of ATS, CAPS, FUHS AND NOTIONS. which comprises all the new nnd populai vari eties at prlceswhlchcannotfalltosullall. These goods aro olfercd at tho lowest cash rates and win uo guaranteed to give satisfaction. A call Is solicited before purchasing elsewhere as it Is believed that better bargains aro to be found than nt any othor place In the county. THE ORANGE VlLLE MANUFAC TUHINO COMPANY. UANTJrACTDHEn.s of iVGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS of tlio mo9t Approveil rn,ttorns. USUI f.c.niii, lolllllllf,', mid t'asllneN eif all descriptions, DF.AIiF.ns IN General Merchandise, Lumber, Ae.,e!ec. ORANGEVILLE, PA. We would announce to tho public In general lbnl wo have taken the well known Agricultur al Works or this plnce nnd shall make It our aim to monuracluro Urst Class Agricultural Imple ments equal to any other rankers In tho State. RUCtlUS Tlll'Cblllllg MncliIitCN, Both Lever nnd Tread Tower. Plows of every Description, among which will bo the celebrated KNOB MOUNTAIN HERO, ncknowledecd by all to be tho best nlow extant lor the larmcr, Also the Clininiiloi!, Sterns' 1'ntcnt mul The Montrose. ALSO, DOUBLE CORN PLOWS, Cultivator, Iron KcttlcN, mul Casting of every description. Wo shall use none but tbo hcMt liiiiterlnlsiiiul emnlov none nut comnclenl and experienced mechanics and our prices will compaio uivorauiy witu any otuer jnuuutaciur- ers. , . Country l'rotince, L,umucr, uiu iron, xaicen in exchange. Wo also haven store in connection with our Agricultural worus, wnero ninv oe found a full assortment of MKKCHANDISE which will bo sold nt small profits. Give us a call before purchasing clsewbeio und we guar antee satisfaction. march'j' 72-u Hotols. rpnE ESPY HOTEL. JL ESPY, COLUMBIA COUNTY', PA. The undersigned would Inform thotravclllnc riubllothat hu has taken thoabovenamedestab ishment and thoroughly relltted tho same lor tho perlect convenlcucoof hlsguosts. Ills larder will bo stocked with the best the market nffords. Tho choicest liquors, wines nnd cigars always to De louutl in ins unr. WILLIAM PETTIT. Espy, Pa, T? J. THORNTON JL2i would nnnouncetothe citizens of Blooms. burg and vicinity, that he ha Just received a full nnd complete assortment of WALL TArElt, WINDOW SHADES, FIXTUKES, COIIDS, TASSELS, and all oilier goods In is line of business. All tho newest aud most approved patterns of the day are always to be found In his establishment, mar.5,'69-tf Main St. below Market. CAIUVY1NG THU UNITED STATES MAIL BETWEEN New York, Cork and NEW AND FUIX-rOWEHED STEAMSHIPS. OCEANIC. UEPUIILIO. BALTIC, CELTIC, uiiijiA.ie., jut 1 1 irtniL,, AJJillAiiU, ATLANTIC, Sailing from New York on SATURDAY'S, from Liverpool on THUKSDAYB. enlllug at Cork Harbor each way. From tho Whlto Star Dock, I'nvnnla Ferrv. Jersev Cltv. Passenger accommodations (for all classes) liurivuueu, euitiuiuiuu SAFETY, SPEED, AND COMFOKT. Saloons, state-rooms, smoking-room nnd bath rooms lu midship section, wheie least motion Is toll. Burgeons nnd stewardesses accompany 111,'SU bltuiuejb. ltATFs Saloon. 880 cold. Steerage. 830curren ry. '1 hose wlshlug to send for irlends from Iho uni i ouniry can now ooiaiu sucrago prepaid ccitlllcates. 30 currency. l'assengeis boolied to or from all parts of Ainerit-n, j-nris, jiauiuurgii, Norway, nweuen, ilium, jiueiiimu, tiiiuu, ur, Dralls Horn XI unwards. For Inspection oi plans and othcrlnformatlon, apply at the Company's Olllccs, No. IV litoadway, New York. Jan, l'J, IW?. J. II. Sl'AltKS, Agent, pATE ATENT AHION PIANO. Hieouly jrrerf Insliutnent In tho world. And Is iMiiji (iiul In k lilum, Toner, Billlluuey and Hurnblllly, bpeelal lerins toTinchcrs. Mat tut Imiihtiit'leiiy linn, he ml lor Illustrated Arluu ' . W. FOSTEH, General Aeent. mnrlO'Jl- IM Mauch Chink, Pa. 1- BLOOMSBURG, PA., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27, 18T2. Poetical. C0MM0Xri,ACU. Bho tosso J tho curls from her blushing face ; Hho softly sighed, Willi a girlish grace. "I'm.wcnry of Ufa It's so comlnouplaco i "Weary of music, forovtr sweet ; Weary of roso-lenves booenlh my feili Sick of tho days that lliemsclves repeat." Faded tbo roses, tho music stilled; Change lias come, as the maiden willed; Sorrow tho pulso of her life has thrilled Sorrow too deep to bo sighed away ; Whoro Is'that wearlsomo yesterday, Bright with a beauty too fair to stay 7 Into tlio sllenco that sits apart, Keeping watch o'er tho aching heart, Stealing a thought lllto nn Arrowy dart ; "Through tho swift cycles of tlmo oud spneo Ono Is tho fate that befalls tlio race Happy lives only nro commonplace." Miscellaneous. Dentil KoMjciI of Its Terrors. THE NEW DEl'AHTMENT IN THU "MOBNINO ai.OIlY" NEWSPAl'Elt. Mr. J. Alfred Brimmor Is tho publish er nnd principal odltor of tho Daily Morning Glory. Ho lias carefully ob served that Ills subscribers always turn first to tho "Death Notices, " nnd ho bcllovca that by tho employment of n verso-wrHcr.to add n fow touching lines to each of them, ho will add greatly to tho vnluo of his paper. Ho thoreforo employs Mr. Remington Ott, n verso constructor, cautioning him to do tho thing up well to assuage grief, by calling off tho mind from tho gloom of thogravo. Mr. Ott, tries his hand on tho following edition, and being satisfied with his work, goes homo. Tho next morning ho paces back to tho office. But ho is astonished to sco ten thousand persons crowded around it. IIo cannot get in, so ho mounts a box, and peers in through the transom up-stalrs. Mr. Brimmer is sealed within, a crowd around him, and Mr. Ott listens to what takes placo : Just then thero was a knock nt tho door, and a woman ontorcd, crying: "Aro you tho editor?" sho inquired of-Brimmor. Brimmer said ho was. '"W-w-well," sho said, In n volco broken by sobs, "w-what d'you mean by publishing this kind of poetry ab bout my Johnny 1 M-my namo is Sm- Smith, and wh-when I looked this m- morning for tho notice of Johnny's d death in y-y-your paper, I saw this aw ful, wicked, wicked v-verse: "Four doctors tackled Johnny Smith They blistered nnd they bled him j With squills nnd antl-btlious pl'ls And Ipecac they fed lilm. They stirred him up with calomel. And tried to movo his liver; But all lu vain his little soul Was wafted o'er tho river." "It's fulsc! fitlsol that's what it is. Johnny only had ono doctor. And they didn't try to nvmovohis livor.and thoy didn't bl-blced him and bl blister him. It's a wicked falsehood, and you'ro a hard hearted bruto f-f-for printing it!" "Madam, I shall go crazy If you con tinue," exclaimed Brimmer, "This is nono of my work. It Is tlio work of a serpont whom I warmed in my bosom, and whom I will slay with my own- hand as soon ns ho comes in. Madam, thomlscrablo outcast shall tlio?" "Strange, strange!" mused Ott. "And this man told motocombino olevatitig sentiment with practical in formation. If tho information concern ing tho squills nnd ipecac is not practi cal, I havo misunderstood tho use of that word. And if young Smith didn't havo four doctors It was an outrage IIo ought to havo had them, and they ought to havo excited tho liver. Thus it is," thought Oit, "that human lifo is sacrificed to carelessness." At tills juncturo tho sheriff onlcrcd, his brow clothed in thunder. IIo had a copy of tho Homing Glory In his hand. Ho approached tho cditor,and pointing to a death uotico said: 'Read that horrlblo mockery of my Woo, aud tell mo tho namo of tho writer so that I can chastiso him." Tho editor read as follows : Wo havo lost our HttU Hnnnnh In a very pain ful manner. And wo ofton nsked, "How can her harsh suf ferings bo borno?" When lior death was llrst reported her aunt gSt up and saorted With tho grief that sho supporloJ, tor It made her feel forlorn." 'She was such n llttlo seraph, that her father, who Is sheriff. Kcnlly doesn't scorn to cue If ho ne'er smiles In Ufa again. Sho has gone, wo hope to llcnvcn, at the early ago of soven, (Funeral starts offal oloven,) whoro she'll never inoro have pain," "As a consequence of this infamy I withdraw nil tho county advertising from your paper. A man who could trlilo in this manner with tho feollngs of n parent is a savago and scoundrel!" As tho sheriff went out, Brimmer placed his head upon tho tablo and groaned. "Really," Mr. Ott reilected, "that person must bo deranged. I tried, In his cose, to put myself In his placo, nud to writo as If I was ono of tho family, according to Instructions. Tlio verses aro beautiful. Tho allusion to tho grief of her nunt, particularly, seemed to mo to bo very happy. It expresses violent emotion with n felicitous combination of sweetness and force Tho peoplo havo no soul no appreciation of thobeauti ful in art." Whllo tho poet mused, hurried stops wcro Heard upon tlio stairs, anu in a moment a mlddio-aged man dashed In abruptly, and, seizing Brlmmer'a scat- tered hair, bumped his prostrato noau against tho tablo threo or four times with considerable force. Having ox pended tho violence of his emotion In this manner, ho held tho editor's head down with ono hand, Blinking It occa slonally by way of omphasls and with tho other hand seized tho paper ana said : "You disgraceful old reprobate ! You unsympathetic and disgusting vampire! You hoary-headed old ghoul I What do you mean by putting such stuff as this in your vilo shoot about my deceased boh V "What d'you moan by printing such doggerel as this, you depraved nnd dlssoluto inkellngor you imbccllo old quill-driver: "Oh I bury Bartholomew out In tho woods, In n beautiful holo lu tho ground, Where tho liumblo.hcol buiz nnd tho wood, peckers sing, And tho straddle-bugs tumblo around ; So that In Winter when Iho snow and tho slush Havo covcrod his last llttlo bed, Ills brother Artcmas can go out with Jnno And visit tho place with his sled," "I'll teach you to talk about straddlo bugsl I'll Instruct you about slush I I'll cnllgliton your lnsano old intellect on tho subject of singing woodpeckers I What do you know of Jano nnd Arto mas, you wretched buccaneer, you des pIcabIobulcheroftlioEngllshlangungc7 Go out in thn sled ! I'llcarry yououtln n hcarso beforo I'm dono with you, you dcplorablo lunatic !"3 At tho end of ovcry phrase, tho vlsl torgavotho editor's head n fresh knock ngaln3t tho tablo. When tho cxerclso was ended, Mr. Brimmer explained and apologized in tho humblest manner, promising at tho eamo tlmo to givo his assailant a chanco to pummel Ott. "Tho treachery of tho man," inur. mured tho poet, "Is dreadful. Didn't ho deslro rao to throw a glamour of poo try overcommon-placodotalls? But for that I should novcr havo thought of al luding to woodpeckers nnd bugs nnd othor children of nature Tho man ob jects to tho remarks about tho sled. Can't tho idiot know that it was neces sary to havo n rhymo for 'bod ?' Can ho supposo that I could writo poetry without rhymes? Tho man is a lunatic! IIo ought not to bo at largo I" Hardly had tlio Indignant and cucr gotlo parent of Bartholomew departed, when a man with red hair ond a feroci ous glare In his oyes entered carrying a club and accompanied by a savago look ingdog. "I want to seo tho editor," ho shout ed. A ghastly pallor o'crspread Brim mer's face, and ho said : "Tho editor is not in." "Well, when will ho bo in ?" "Not for a weok a month a year forovor! IIo will nover comoln any more!" screamed Brimmer. "He lias gono to South America, with tho inten tion of remaining thero during tho bal nnco of his life. Ho has departed ho has fled. If you want to sco him you had better follow him to tho equator. Ho will bo glad to seo you. I would ad vlso you, as n friend, to tako tho next boat and start at once." "That is unfortunate," said tho man with tho golden locks; "I called for tho purpose of bnttorlng him up n lot with this club." "Ho will bo sorry," said Brimmer, sarcastically j "He, will regret missing you. I will writo to him, and mention that youdropped in." "My namo is McFndden," said tho man, "I camo to break tho head of tho man who wrote that obituary poetry about my wife. If you don't tell rao who perpetrated tho following, I'll break yours for you ! Whero's the man who wroto this? Pay attention : Mrs. McFadden has gono from this life ; Sho has left all Its sorrows and cares ; She caught tho rheumatism lu both other legs Whlloscrubblog tho cellar and stairs. They put mustard plasters upon her In vain ; They bathed her with whiskey aud rum; Eat Thursday her spirit departed and left Her body outlrcly numb." "Tho slavo who held tho lato Mrs. McFadden up to tho scorn of nn un sympathetic world in that shocking manner," said tho editor, "is named Remington Ott. Ho boards in Blank street, fourth door from tho corner. I would ndviso you to call on him and avongo Mrs, McPadden's wrongs with ajudiclous intcrmlxturoof club and dog bites." "And this," sighed tho poet outsldo tho door, "is tho man who told mo to divert McFaddou's mind from contem plation of tho horrors of tho tomb. It was this monster who counselled ma to mako tho sunshiuo of McFaddcn's smiles burst through tho tempest of Mc Faddcn's tears. If that sore-headed monster couldn't smllo over that allu sion to whiskey and rum ; If those ro- marks about tho rheumatism in her legs couldn't divert his mind from tho hor rors of tho tomb, was It my fault ? Mc Fadden grovels ! Ho knows no mor0 about poetry than a speckled inulo knows about tho Shorter Catechism." Tho poet determined to leavo beforo any further criticisms woro mado upon his performances. IIo Jumped down from his chair t nd crept softly toivard tho bick stalrc.no. Arriving at tho landing, ho suddenly encountered Brimmer, who was moving in thosamo direction. The editor has hardly tlmo enough to utter a profano ejaculation and to lift his hand to strike tho poot when an old lady in a poko bDunot and silver spectacles suddonly ouiorgod from tho stairway and pinned tho edi tor to tho wall with tho ferula of her umbrella. After grinding her teeth at him for a moinontsho floored lilm with her weapon, nnd soatlng herself upon his prostrato from,sho extracted a copy of tho Morning Glory from her bag, nnd, pointing to n certain stanza In tho obituary column asked Ott to read It nloud. IIo did so. It read In this fash on : "Llttlo Alexander's dead ; Jam him lu his colllu; Don't havo ns good a chanco Forufiiu'ralolteu, Hush his body right around To tho cemetery ; Drop him In tho scpulchro With his undo Jerry." At tlio ond of overy lino tho Indignant conqueror punched tno lauen urim mei's ribs with her umbrolla, and ex claimed : "O you wlltln I D'you hoar that, you wretch ? What d'you moan by wrltln' ofiny grandson In that way? Take that, you sorplnt I O, you you wlllln ous wiper you, tryin' to break n lono wldder'a heart with such Bcand'lus lies as them I Thero, you wlllln I I kem moro tohnmincryouwell with this iioro unibrolIer,you wicked wIllln,you owda clous wiper you ! Tako that, aud that you wilo, indecent, dlsgustln1 wngobon! When you know well enough that Aleck never had no undo Jorryinnd novcr had no undo lu no scpulchro any how, you wllo wretch you." 00L. Whllo sho pounded tho editor tho poot groped his way down slnirs, six steps nt n time, and omorged from tho front door with romarknblo suddonno33. Hlsjour nnlistic carcor onded upon that day. McFailtlcn's Mastcr-Stroltcj Or, tlio Mod- cm Itoail to l ortuno. Samuel McFadden was n watchman in a bank. IIo was poor but honest, nnd h Is lifo was without reproach. Tho troublo with him wns that ho was not appreciated. His salary was only four dollars n week, nnd when ho asked for moro tho President, Cashier, and tho Board of Directors glared ut him through their spectacles and frowned on him, nnd told him to go out nnd atop his In solence, when ho know business was dull nnd tho bank could not meet its expenses now, lot nlono recklessly lav ishing ono dollar n week moro upon such a miscrablo worm as Samuel Mc Fadden, nnd then Mr. Sainuol McFad den felt much depressed nnd sad, nnd the haughty scorn of tho President and tho Cashier cut him to tho soul. Ho would often go out in tho ship-yard nnd bow his vonornblo twenty-four inch head nnd weep gallons nnd gallons of (cars over his tnslgniflcanco, and pray that ho might bo mado worthy of tho President's nnd Cashier's pollto atten tion. Ono night n happy thought struck him. A gleam of light burst upon his soul, nmt gazing down tho dim vista of years, with his oyes all blinded with tho mist of Joyous tears.ho saw hlmsolf rich, honored nnd respected. So Samuel McFadden fooled around and got ajim my, a monkey wrench nnd a cross-cut saw, and a cold chisel, nnd a drill, nnd about half a ton of gun powder, and sorao nltro-glycerino, and nil thoao things. Thon, in thodead of tho night, ho wont to tho flre-proof safe, and aftor working at it n whilo burst tho door and brick and brick-work into immor tal smash with such perfect success that thero was not enough or that safo left to mako a carpet tack. Mr. McFadden then proceeded to load up with coupons and greenbacks and currency and specio, and to nail all tho odd change that was laying around any whero, so that ho pranced out of tho bank with ono mil lion dollars on him. Ho thcn.rctired to an unassuming resldenco out of town, and sent word to tho detectives whero ho was. It was nil seronoand boautiful for Samuel McFaddon now. IIo felt that ho was all right at last, and that tho dark nlghtof sorrow had passed and tho bright rays of tho sun of prosperity at last illuminated his path. A detective called on him thenextday with asooth Ing noto from tho Cashier. McFadden treated it with lofty scorn. Detectives called upon him overy day with humblo notes from tho President and the Cash ier and tho Board of Directors and Clerks and Stockholders. At last tho bank officers got up n mag- iflccnt and prlvato supper, to which Mr. McFaddon was invited. Ho camo, nd, as tho bank officers bowed down tho dust beforo him, ho pondered over tho bitter, bitter past, and his soul Wris filled with exultation. Beforo ho rovo away in his carrlngo that night, it was nil fixed that Mr. McFadden was keep half n million of that money and go unmolested, if ho returned the other half. IIo fulfilled his contract liko an honest man, but refused with haughty disdain tho offer of tho Cashier marry his (McFaddcn's) daughter. Mac Is now honored and respected. IIo browses in purple nnd flno linen and other good clothes, nnd enjoys himself flrst-ratc. And often now he takes his infant sou upon his kneo nnd tells him of his early llfe,and Instills precepts Into tho child's mind, and shows him how, by industry and persoveranco, nnd frugality nnd nitro glycerine, and mon key wrenches and enterpriso.and cross cut saws and familiarity with tho detcclivo system, oven tho poorest may rlso to alllucuco nud respectability in this freo country. Poiir runny rabies. A cat waking out of a sound sleep, saw amouso sitting just out or reacn, observing her. Perceiving that at tho slightest movement of hers, tho raouso would recollect an engagement, sho put on a look of extreme amiability and said : "Oh! it'syou, Is it? Doyouknowl tho't at first, you were a friendly great rat : and I am so afraid of rats ! I feol so much relieved you don't know. Of coursoyou havo heard that I am n great friend to tho dear llttlo mice" 'Yes," was thoanswer,"! havoheard that you lovo us Indifferently woll, and my mission hero was to bless you whllo ou slept. But as you will wish to go and get your breakfast I won't boro you Flno morning isn't it. Au rct'oirl" This fablo teaches that it is usually safo to avoid ono who protends to bo a friend without having any roason to be, It wasn't safo in this In3tanco, however; for tho cat wont after that departing rodcut, and got nway with him. II A hippopotamus, meeting nu open alligator said to him : "My forked friend, you may ns woll collapse You nro not sufficiently com prohonsivo to crabraco me I am mysolf no tyro nt smiling, when in tho hir mor." "I really had no expectation of taking you In," replied tho other. "I havo a habit of extending my hospitality Im partially to all, nnd about savon foot wide" "You remind me,"tiald tho hlppopot nmu3,"ofti certain zebra, who was not vicious at all ; ho merely kicked tho breath out of everything that passed behind him, but did not seek toinduco tilings to pass behind lilm." "Ills qulto Immaterial what I remind you of," was U13 reply. Tho lesson imparted by this fablo isa vory beautiful ono. Ill A sheep maklugn lougjournoy found tho heat of his llccco very uncoinrorta bio, and seeing a flock of sheop In a fold ovidontly wultingfor uoino ono, leaped over nnd Joined them In tho hopo ofbo DEM. - VOL. XXXVI NO. 45. Ing shorn. Pcrcoivlng tho shephord approaching and tho other sheep hud dling into a rcinoto cornor of tho fold, ho shouldered his way forward, and go ing up to tho shophord, said : "Did you over seo such n lot of foils ? It's lucky I camo nlong to sot thorn an oxntnplo of docility. Scolng mo opera ted upon, they'll bo glad to offer them selves." "Perhaps bo, replied tho shophord, laying hold of tho animal's horns ; "but I novor kill moro than ono sheep nt a tlmo. Mutton won't keep in hot weath er." Tho chops tasted romarknbly well with tomnto sauco. Tho moral of this fablo Isn't whnt you think it is. It is this; tlio chops of anoth er man's mutton nro nlwnys nice. Two travolors between Teheran nnd Bagdad mot half way up tho vortical face of a rock, on a path only n cubit In width, and wcro unnblo to pass. After sorao reflection thoy both decided to Jump around tho other; but asotlquotto did not warrant conversation with a strangcr.nolthcrmado known his inten tion. Tlio consequonco wns that thoy both mot, with considerable omphasls, bout four foot from tho odgo of tho path, and went through n flight of soar ing eagles, n mllo out of thoir way. ThIs is Infamous I Tho learned Parseo appears to wholly Ignore the dis tinction between a fablo and a siraplo lie A Bold and Ingenious Sailor. Tho bark Mandusa, which recently arrived at Now naven from England, had among her crow a man named John Trotts, of Malno, who had shipped in England for tho round trip, but had becomo 'dissatisfied with his ship and deserted on arrival. Tho captain had him locked up and arrested, and ho was carried on board tho bark handcuffed. Ho mado his escape again, howovor, somo confederate having apparently cut his bracelets for him. Trotts, in getting ashore, disguised himself, but tho policeman who arrested him in tho first instance recognized his gait, and tapped himon Iho shoulder. Tho re moval of a muffler confirmed his sus picion, and Trotts stood revealed before him. Tho fugitivo was conducted to tho lock-up, and the officers determined that ho should not get away again, but Trotts wns equal to tho emer gency. Shortly after midnight tholleutenant and doorman heard n noiso liko tne slamming of a doof imitlo tho lockup; they at onco looked in and saw Trotts sitting demurely on a bench, and everything serene" Finding things tranquil, tho officers mado no further examination into thocauso of tho noise About two o'clock in tho morning tho acting lieutenant went into tho City Court room and lighted tho gas, that ho might seo to look over some files of cases before tho Court. By means of tho light ho discovered that tho radia tor near tho prisoner's dock was forced out, and that tho ventilator behind it lay on tho floor. An examination showed that a ventilator opening into tho prison had been pullod out, and that Trotts had Inserted his body Into tho aperture anu forced out tho ventila tor found on tho floor. Onco inside tho Court room his escape was easy and ho mado it good. A Bear Story. Tho San Francisco Bulletin relates tho following adven- turo which befel an Indian herdsman in tho lower part of that State Tho man had been sent to a distant ranch to look after a herd of fheep, nnd at nightfall got under n shed with a roof of branches, but open on alt sides, and lay down In his blankets. After a few hours' sleep ho was awakened by feel ing tho hot breath of somo animal on his face. Ho moved his arms, and at onco understood tho situation a hugo bear was snuffing him. Tho man.wlth great prosonco of mind, determined to keop perfectly still, for he know if ho moved or cried out ono blow of those hugo paws would break his skull like a walnut. Bruin scratched off tho Blan kets and seized tho Indian by tho leg. Though suffering terribly, tho bravo fellow did not allow a groan or cry to escapo him. Tho bear dragged him from tho hut for sorao dlstanco and thon commenced to dig a holo to lay tho Indian in and cover him up from tho coyotes. After tho grave had been dug deep enough tho bear (contenting hlmsolf with nbout a pound of flesh from tho victim's thigh) moved tho body to tho holo and covered It up. Tho Indian managed to keep tho earth over hU face loose enough to allow him to breatho, and when tho bear retlrod, ho crawled out towards tho mustang, which was plckoted some yards out sldo tho hut. With groat difficulty ho mounted, nnd then rodo towards tho ranch house A doctor was sont for, and pronounced the wounds, though sovero and painful, not likely to provo fatal. Tho next day a hunt wh organ ized, and tho grizzly was killed In tho neighborhood of tho spot whero ho had stowed away hla Intended meal. A Candib Judqe. Judgo Strong was formerly well.it was somo years ogo given to Imbibing moro than was es sentlnl to tho equilibrium of his montal and physical powers. But ho was ono of tho politest men in tho world, and novcr moro so than when u llttlo too docp In liquor. With his neighbor, Mr. Bates, a political opponont, ho had many a sharp conflict; but ouo day when qulto mollow, it suddonly struck him that ho ought to "mako up friends with Bates ; and Stopping up to him in tho streot, ho said : "I Eity lmtes, you anu 1 nnvo saw i great many hard things nbout ono an othor, and I am getting old, and feol as If I ought to mako an apology for all that Ilhavosald, ami havo It sottlod up." "Oh, nover mind," said Mr. Bates "let It pass , and if you keep quiot hero after. I'll bo sat silod." "No, no," said tlio Judgo ; "I owi you an apology, for I havo called you rogue, a thief, and a liar." "Well, uover mind." "Yes, but I do mind. I say I havo called you a thief, nud a liar, and scoundrel and and I'll b.e hanged if 1 don't think so still I" Ono lneb. (twelve Unci or Its equivalent In Nonpareil typelono or two Insertions, 11.40 tores Insertions, , SAW BPACE. lM, ZU. 8K. 8 lr. One Inch... -UM U.M f 1.00 Two 1UCU.....-.... S.W 5 00 7.00 Throo Inches. ,") 7.1)0 B,00 (H.O0 (10,00 ,00 15.CO J2,w moo 17,00 21,00 ai.io ae,ri ao.oo no.oo 0,00 100,00 Four Inches. ,.-., ,' h."" (inartereolnran...... I0,(l IS.0U Un Half eolumn..........H.oo 1MW so.0? One column.. JB0.00 M.O0 40,00 Executor's or Adinlnlstrator'n Notice, 13,00 Auditor's or Assignee's Notice, 12,10, Local notices, twenty cents n line. Cards In tho "Unslncss Diroctory" eolnmn. J2,r) per year for tho first two lines, ami II OOfor each additional line. Humorous. A wostcrn paper says "Franco Is a tinder-box and Prcsidont Thiers n sit ting on tho safety valve" Concrossman Snann. of Illinois, op poses Civil Horvlco Rororm, whereupon a cotomnorary declares It to bo "a snao Judgment, not worth a snap." A young man hunting turkoys nt Kalamazoo. Mich., thought ho saw ono in tho grass, but n coroner's Jury decid ed that it was tho hoad of tho firmer who owned tho promises, and was tak ing a nap. An Irishman meeting another asked him what had becomo of a mutual friend. "Arrah, now, my dear honey," answorodho, "Paddy was condemned to bo hangod, but ho saved his lifo by dying in prison." A soldior tollinghls mother of tho tor rlblo firing of Cblckamnuga, was nsked by her why ho did not get behind u treo ? "Troo I said ho : "thero wasn't enough for tho officors." A darkoy left in chargo of a telegraph offico whllo tho operator wont to din ner, heard somo ono "call" over tho wires; and began shouting, "Do opera tor Isn't hero." Tho nolso ceased. "I wonder what's tho reason," Bold a wlfo to her husband, 'that tho turkey I ato for dinner does not sot woll on my stomach?" "Probably, replied tho aggravating man, "bscatiso It wasn't a hen turkey." Whero tiro you going ?" crleel a Scotch gentleman to a thief whom ho observed crawling through a holo In tho hedgo into his garden. "Bjck again," replied Sawney, as ho hastily retreated from his discovered accsss to tho tempting fruit. Theodore nook onco dined with n Mr. Hatchet. "Ah, my dear follow,' said he, deprecatlngly, "I am sorry to say that you will not get to-day such a dinner as our friend Tom Moore gavo us." "Cortalnly not," replied Hook, "from a Hatchet wo can get nothing but a chop." In Arkansas a man was sentenced to bo hanged, but all tho carpenters in tho neighborhood refused to build tho scaf fold. A3 tho condemned man was hlmsolf a carpontor by trade, tho sher iff tried to induco him to nut un tho gallows, but ho steadfastly declared ho'd uo nangcu n neciiu. An absent-minded man entered a Cincinnati shoo store tho other day, and wanted his boy mcasurod for apalr of shoes. "But whoro's tho boy?" sn tno uuaior. -xnunuer i" saiu ino man, I've loft the boy at homo. I'll go and bring him," and off ho started for his houso, six blocks away. A man recently broko off a marriage because tho lady did not poshes good conversational powers, a friend told him ho should havo married her, and then refused her a now bonnot, to havo doveloped her power to talk. A minister onco told Wendell Phlll lips that if his business In lifo w.w to savo tho negroes, ho ought to go S mth were they wore and do It. "Tnat is worth thinking or," replied Philllp-i, "and what is your business in life?" "To save men from hell," replied the minister. "Thon go thera and attend to your business," rejoined Mr. Phil Hps. A gentleman handed up a ton dollar blllinono.of tho Ucd Lino coaclie-, from which ono fare, flvo cents, win to bo taken. "Look a'here," mid the driver, down through tho holo, "which of theso horses do you want to luiv with this ten dollar bill?" "Well," coolly replied tho gentleman, "I thought I might got both for Unit." Two neighbors living in "Westchester county hnd a long and envenomed liti gation about a small spring, which they both claimed. Tho Judgo, wearied out with the case, at last said : "What H tho uso of you making so much fus-i about a llttlo water ?" "Your Honor will seo tho uso of it." replied out) nf tho lawyers, "when I inform you tlml tho parties aro both milkmen !" A fireman's bill lately took plnen In Edston.Pa., and to tho nnnounccmi'nt, tho following "notice" was appendi'd : "How is this for high ? A nico tiling for tho toys, liiveiy time-) in prospect. A chanco for somo good fun. Everv- doily will bo thero, and all will go iiinr rv as a marrlago-bell. Mirth, lolity and good fellowship. Put on your dnncliig-pumps. and be in nt tho death," eic Trio death of a prominent eitlzon apposed in thosamo paper, nnd by a miaiHKu tno "noiico-' appoareei uikiit It. Tho editor's widow has offered lint offico for salo. Thero must bosomothing dono to mo vent those horrlblo mistakes of dru;- ist's clerks. Ono or tlio careless follows atciy gavo a young man in Louisvlllo bottle ormucnago msieau or coiogni'. The youth went to church, aud after applying tho contents of the b'lttlo Ireciy lo ins imniiKcrciuui unit applying tho handkerchief freely to hU noau, hu was in no condition roruevout worship. This thing is getting to bo alarming. Tho TItusvillo Press cnronlcles tho following event with modest prldo : 'TItusvillo was not tno Dirthplnco or 'tho Father ofhls country.' but wo have a man residing hero who slipped up on a iuutiuy crossing, tins ioreuoon, anu sat down on a roll of butter which ho was carrying homo, and instead of swearing, ho simply aroso, scraped tho butter from his pants into tho paper again, and went on again as if nothing nau nappeneu." A Connecticut man tho other dty thought to put his philosophy to tho practical tost by slightly burning tho flngres ofhls two young childron in or der that he might loavo thorn alone in a room with a hot stove. Ills wlfo, who doesn't go much on silence, cought hlni at it, anu wont lor tno pnuoBopncr. hu ting him down on tho stovo and hold ing him thero until ho roared for mercy. It is reported that a man in Cincin nati fell from tho top of a four-story building tho othor diy to tho stono sidewalk bcncatli without being injured in tho least. Uo was a llio insurance agent and struck on his choek. At the limooi ins inn uo was leaning on inn edgo of tho roof, shoving his papers at a painter wnom no nau treeu on a swinging scaffold underneath. On tho trial of a horso caso in Sico. Maine, recently, ono of tho parties, who was aiso a witness, uraco uy namo, ,noi being so clear in his testimony as thn uugo inougnt uosirauio, was asKcu uy ilm to describe the animal moro min utely. "Why, Judge, all you Saco fol- lora Know mat air ai uoureids uscu to drlvo," was tho "minuto," clear and ready roply, in apatronlzou tone. The "Saco feller" on tho bench smiled qui etly ; tho rest smiled audibly, till the Shoriff called "Order in tho court 1" When tho fire was swooping throna Pearl street, In Boston, ono of tho laru shoo dealers, scolng that his stock could not bo saved, invltod the by standors to help themselves. A polico mon. who appeared on tho spot, ot d vlsed of tho invitation, Indigninlly ob served an individual pulling boots, pair after pair, from an opon case W-for him. "Villain I" ho thundered, wht aro you about Y" "Trying 10 nnu a pair of eights," was tho mild ro-sponso.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers