THE BEDFORD GAZETTE l* rcaLISHKU £V£KY FRIDAY MORMNU IIY B. F. MKVEKS, At the following terms, to wit: $2 00 per annum, if paid within the yar. $2.30 " " if not paid within the year. subscription taken lor less than six months ay-No paper discontinued until all arrenrages are paid, unless at the option of the publishei. it has been decided by the United States Courts that the stoppige of a newspaper without the payment of arrearages, is prima facie evidence of fraud and as a criminal oflence. tty'i'tie courts have decided that persons are ac countable for the subscription price of newspapers, if they take them from the post office, whether they subscribe for them, or not. professional (farts. F.M.KIMMSLL. I, W. LINaE.NVKI.TER. KIMMELL & LINGENFELTER. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA. U>~Have tormed a partnership in the practice of the Law. Office on Juliana itreet, two door* South of the "Mengel House." Joa MANN. G. H. SPANS. MAO & SPANG. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA. The undersigned have associated thtme!vea in the Practice ol the Law, and will aitenJ promptly to nil business entrusted to their ca;e in Bedford and adjoining counties. on Juliana Street, three doors eouth of the "Mengel House, ' opposite the residence ol Maj. Tate. Bedford, Aug. 1, 1861. JONK CESSNA. O. E. SHANNON. CESSNA 4. SHANNON. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA., formed a Partnership in the Practice o the Law. Olflce nearly opposite the Gazette Office, where one or the other may at all times be found. Bedford, Aug, 1, 1861. . JOHN P. RE E f), ATTORNEY AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA., Respectfully tenders hts services to the Pub/re. [tyOffice second door North of the Mengel House- Bedford, Aug, 1, 1861. W. M. HALL. JOHN PALMER. II A L L & PALMER, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, BEDFORD, PA promptly attend to all business entrus ted to there rare. Office on Julianna Street, (near, ly opposite the Mengel House.) Bedford, Aug. 1, 1861. A. U. COPFROTII, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Somerset, Pa. Will hereafter practice regularly in he several Courts of Bedford county. Business entrusted to his care will be faithfully attended to. December , 1861. f-m M l E L KE TIER MAN, J/ BEDFORD, PA., Would hereby notify the citizens of Bedford county, that he has moved ro the Borough of Bed ford, where he may at all times be found b' person< wishing to see him, iidlcss ebsnf upon business to his office. Bedford, Aug. I.IBGI. JACOZ KEEP, J. J. SCHKLV. RfcED AND BCHRLL, BANKERS 8c DEALERS IN EXCHANGE, BEDFORD, PENN'A. K7"DRAFTS bought and sold, collections made and money promptly remitted. Deposits solicited. REFERENCES. Hon. Job Mann, Hon. John Cessna, and John Mower, Bedford Pa., R. Forward, Somerset, Bunn, Xaiguel *c Co., Phil. J. A'att & Co., J. W. Cuiley, 8c Co., Pittsburg. CHARLES HOTF.L, CORNER or WOOD ! NO THIRD STREETS PITTSBURGH, r A HARRV SHIRI.S Proprietor. April 12 1881. W. *7. UAIR. JOHN 8. DAVJBON MAIR AND DAVISON, Importer and Dealers in t?!4!epy, Carriage and Trwnfe Hardware find Trimmings, NP. 127 WOOD STREET, ?i 11 Bhu { p Fon rt 'a . 3 LACKS MITHHC G The undersigned having opened a Blacksmith • bop, immediately opposite the residence ol Samuel Vonderimitb, in Bedford Borough, informs the pub tie that he ia prepared to do HORSE SHOE IMG, STROM G or LIGHT, repairing wagons, or any thing usually done in hi* lira. The patronage of" the public ia respectfully solicited. A. J. DISHONG. April 17, IBM lm C. \ , iFfcKOK, DUINTIST. Will attend punctually and carefully to all opera {ions entrusted to bis care. Natural Trrtb filled, regulated, polished, &c., in the best manner, and ARTirrciAt. Tsktu inserted from one to an entire sett. Office iu the Bank Building, on Juliana street, Bedford. CASH TERMS will be strictly udhered to. In addi'ion to recent improvements in the mount ing of Artificial Tekth on Gold snd Silver Plate, lam now using, as a base for Artificial work,a new and beautiful article, (Vulcanite or Vulcanized lo <|ia Rubber) stronger, closer fitting, more comfort able and more natural than either Gold or Silver, and 20 per cent, cheaper than silver. Call and see C. N. HICKOK. Bedford, January 16, 1863. "TO CONSUMPTIVES The advertiser having been irstored to health in a few weeks, by a very simple remedy, after hav ing suffered several years with a severe lung aflec tion, and that dread disease, Consumption—is anx ious to make known ta his fellow-sufferers the weans of cure. To ill who desire it, he will send a copy ol the prescription used (free of charge,) with the direc tions for preparing and using the same, whirh they •will find a SURE CURE for CONSUMPTION, ASTHMA, BRONCHITIS, ire. The only object of the advertiser in sending the Prescription is to benefit the afflicted, and spread information which be conceives to be invaluable, and be pes every •offerer will try bis remedy, a* it will cost tbero nothing, and may prove a blessing. Rev. EDWARD A. WILSON, spW -Tna Kings Co., N. V. VOLUME ss. NEW SERIES. Sl)f Sf'.joolmaster dbroaU. EDITED BY SIMON SYNTAX, ESq. (XPTeachers and friends of education are respec fully requested to send communicationsto the abov care of " Bedford Gazette." ESSAY Head before the Schellsburg and Napier District Institute. BV MISS MATHE ALLISON MR. PRESIDENT: Having the honor to be selected by the Committee, to write a composition upon some topic pertaining to Education, I have selected from the broad tiold, for my subject, the Duties of Parents, Teachers and Pupils to the schools. It is a subject of vital importance to each and all of us; for if we had a clearer percep tion of our several duties, we, certainly, would not be so delinquent in performing them. It is the duty of parents to instruct their chil dren with regard to their manner of conduct in the school room. They should teach tlieui to respect and obey their teacher, and regard him as a friend who is laboring to promote their welfare; and not as a monster sent there by the directors to punish them a certain number of times each day; and when he fails to do that, he is unlit for his station and deserves to receive, at the hands of his pupils, that punishment he neglects to bestow upon them. It is also their duty to teach their children obedience, not thro' fear of punishment, but from a sense of duty, and a desire to do right. If parents would do that, teachers would find little difficulty in gov erning schools. Parents frequently commit a great error, by sending their children to school too young; thereby greatly injuring the child and annoying the teacher. If parents consulted the interests of their children, and also that of the school, : they certainly would not think of sending a child to school, to sit for six hours a day, con ning over the alphabet for days, perhaps, for weeks, breathing the impure air of an ill-ven tilated room, perchance contracting diseases that death alone can deliver it. from. It is tho duty of .parents to furnish the nec essary books. It is impossible for a teacher to advance a school in which the pupiis cannot be '•"-sed: for so much time is consumed hearing tne different recitations, that there is no time for ■'genera! exercises" ikuiiAiiatrutioiis ot nuy kind. As long us parents continue to purchase old, dilapidated books, because they can be had for 20 or 00 |- r cent less than good ones, the "Common School System" is and will be a bum buy ! lint who makes it so? Tho fault docs not lie in the Common School System, nor in the teachers, but in the parents. It is the duty of parents to send their children regularly to school. If many parents would examine the reports of the teacher, and see how tDany "absent marks" their children have, they would not bo surprised that they know but little more at the close than at the commence ment of the term. It is the duty of every parent to visit the school frequently. Not as a critic or fault-find er, but as a friend of both the teacher and pu pils. If parents would visit the sehuols ofteu er, we would have better schools; for the faith ful teacher would be encouraged to persevere and the malignant and unfaithful would be a roued to action. I'.iit tlio duties of the teachers are no less iut j portant and onerous, than those of the parents, j First the teacher should possess a thorough j knowledge of everything he undertakes to teach. | Manj- teachers go forth to imparl instruction } upon the subjects of which they have only I gained n slight knowledge; they merely teach ' what is contained in the text-books, and are | unable to illustrate or render the subject inter esting to pupils. lie should strive to teach at I any and all times; and teach everything that is ! of practical importance to his scholars, when i ever and wherever the opportunity is presented. I He should be a model of refinement, for pupils I naturally imitate their teacher. He shonld ho kind and courteous both to his pupils and pat | rons, and win the esteem and affections of both. ; He should visit the parents of his pupils fre i quently, and converse freely upon educational ! topics, ard the best methods of imparting in- I strrtction. He should express Ins views and learn theirs. And by these means obtain their co-operation; for without the aid and assistance of the parents, it is beyond the power of any one to teach successfully. lie should be honest and candid with his patrons. Jso teacher should conceal from the parents the true state of prog ress made by their children, through fear of of fending them, lie should be as frank iu re porting a failure as a success; for in many in stances the failures might be remedied by the parents ; and perhaps would bo if their atten tion was incitod to it, and the necessity pointed out in a respectful manner by the teacher. He should strive to make the school interesting. ] Children like a change, tliey grow weary of the same routine every day; and it is the duty of the teacher to exercise his ingenuity in devi sing ways and means, to relieve the monotony of the schoolroom. It is not. necessary to speak of the different methods by which this may be accomplished; doubtless, each teacher "would be most successful in bis own peculiar way."— Prof. Ogden said that "the most successful meth ods are the results of the teacher's own origin ality." The teacher should improve hiinscli— It is a duty he owes to his pupils and to the profession. It is not enough that he teaches as good a school this season as he did last; he should teach a better one. In this age of im provement teachers should not lie content to stand still and let everything else outstrip them. There are so many opportunities for obtaining knowledge, that no teacher can form the shad ow- vf an excuse for remaining ignorant. There Freedom of Thought and Opinion. BEDFORD,PA.,FRIDAY MORNING, MAY 29, 1863. is scarcely any one whose time is so muclj oc cupied, that lie cannot find any spare uionsnts to devote to the perusal of interesting booty*. He should be impartial. It is very naiuul for teachers to love respectful and obedient scholars more than those whose disposition! are the opposite, but is is his duty to treat all ajike; for all have the same claim upon his timeiand energies. He should love his scholars, and re member that they are human beings placed!un der his care to receive instruction, and mil as mere subjects over which he is to rule with all the tyranny of a despot. Scholars have tlieir rights, and no person is fit to teach who foes not feel it his bounden duty to respect tlose rights. He should instruct his pupils motility as well as intellectually. For if the morale of our youths are not properly cultivated, jthe more intellectual training they receive the great er will be their abilities for doing evil. Ri* more necessary then, that true principles of morulity are instilled into theii minds than that they reach the "pinnacles of the temple of tci etice." These, though numerous and importait, are scarcely a tithe, of the duties obligatory upon those who occupy the nlraost sacred position of instructors to the young. Yet the duties of the schoolroom do not all rest upon the parents and teacher, the pupils come in for a large share. They should love and respect their teacher, he holds the position of parent, and if he is what he should be, he is entitled to the same regard and respect. They should strive to improve themselves. Tliry should endeavor to preserve the reputation of the school. They should be social, and treat oue another like brothers and sisters. In some schools there arises a sort of aristocracy, tips should always be discouraged by the teacher.-- They should be interested in the school, and ev er ready and willing to receive instruction.— These and many other duties devolve upon the pupils. And when parents, teachers and pu pils learn their several duties, and perform them aright, and all go hand in hand together, work ing for the same purpose and desiring the same results, then will the Common School S3 stem flourish, and the "People's colleges" become a national honor. Bedford County Teachers' Association. SEMI-ANNUAL MEETING. The Bedford County Teachers' Association met in the Court House, in the Borough of Bed ford, on Friday, the 1 Oth of April, 1 boil, tit 1 \ o'clock. I'. M. The House wtts called to order by the I'rMT dent, The Rev Geo. Sigafoos. The exercises were opened with prayer by the Rev. \V. Zim merman. Sorue of the members of the Executivecom mittee being absent, Misses L. C. Arnold,Mat tie Allison, M. V. Smith and J. R. Durbiirrow were appointed members pro tern. Mr. Giddings, of Connecticut, being mlled upon addred the Institute. E. F. Kerr read a report on. "Oral Instruc tion and the true use of Text Books." The question, "Do the good Morals of a Community depend on its Intelligence," was ar gued by Messrs. Sigafoos, l)urbori;ow ; Fishery and Giddings. On motion, Messrs. Sigafoos, Durborrowand Beegle were appointed a committee on resolu tions. Adjourned to meet at 7 o'clock,'P. M. EVENING SESSION. The Association met at 7 o'clock, P. M. President Sigafoos in the chair. The exercises were opened with prayer by the Rev Mr. Kirby. The .Journal was read and approved. Miss M. V. Smith read an Essay, Subject "Merit vs. Prosperity." The Rev. U. 11. Hunt, of Schellsburg, deliv ered a lecture before the Association on "The culture of the Mind." The question, "What are the prominent cau ses of failure iu. teaching," was argued by Mr. Sigafoos. Adjourned to meet on Saturday, at 9o'clock, P. M MORNING SESSION APRIL 11, 18D3 The Association mot at 9 o'clock, A. M. Vice President, J. VV. Dickorson in the chair. Prayer by the .Rev. Mr. Kirby. Tho journal was read and approved. Miscellaneous business being first iu order, a number of important resolutions and motions pertaining to the Association were adopted. Messrs. John Palmer and J. E. Satterfield were elected permanent members of the Ex. Com. J. E. Satterfield read a report on "The Prog ress of Common Schools in Bedford County." Miss Mattic E. Allison read an Essay, the subject, "Should VVoman Teach?" Geo. Sigafoos read a report on the County Uniformity of Text Books," followed in a dis cussion on the same, participated in by Messrs. Sigafoos, Satterfield, Palmer, Lutz, Durborrow, Giddings, Fisher, Dickersou and Kerr. The committee on resolutions being called upon reported through their chairman as fol lows : We, the members of the Bedford County Teachers' Association, believing that great good has resulted to the cause of education in the county, through the various articles published from time to time in the Educational columns of tho Bedford Gazette and Inquirer; therefore, 1, /kofc#d,That the proprietors of those pa pers, Messrs B. F. Meyers and J. K. Durborow, have distinguished themselves as the friends and supporters of our noble cause, by so generously devoting a column in their respective papers to the cause of Education. 2, liesolved, Thnt Messrs. Simon Syntax and J. E. Satterfield are entitled to the gratitude and thanks of every ftiend of education in the County, for the able and satisfactory manner in which they conducted the Educational Col umns in our county papers. 8, Resolved, thnt while we deeply deplore the absence of so many valuable teachers from our ! midst, we still have the consoling reflection that they are engaged in a high and noble call ing, and are entitled to the warmest sympathies j and fullest support of every educationalist, j throughout the State. And we, therefore, feel : proud that so many of our noble band are found in the ranks of the federal army, contending so ! patriotically for the inheritance bequeathed I to them by their illustrious ancestors, j 4, Resolved, That this Association teuder their j thanks to the Rev. B. H. Hunt, for his able ' and interesting address. 5, Resolved, That wiien we adjourn, we will adjourn to meet on the lirst Monday in Novem i her next, to hold our annual Institute. 6, Resolved, That the Editors of the County papers be requested to publish tl le proceedings I of this association. ; The resolutions were adopted. On motion adjourned sine die. G. SIGAFOOS, Prest. j E. F. KERR, See'y. i The Successful Reconnofssance. Wc are at length enabled, says the New j York Mercury, to lay before our readers our au ) thentic correspondent's able report of the recent j stirring Mackerel events, from which it appears | that a recent attempt to destroy the vrell-known J i Southern Confederacy, and capture the ancient 1 city of Paris bv surprise, was intended merely i as a reconnoissance, and had been entirely suc cessful as such. There is no reason to despond. PROM WASHINGTON. Editor T. T.: As it was feared on Sunday . last, my boy, that the venerable Mackerel Bri -1 gado was about to commit a breach of the peace iby strategically assaulting the Confederacies j established in the mud between the Mackerel ! camp and the ancient City of Paris. I mounted I my architectural steed, tite gothic lYgasus, at ]an early hour in the morning, and perceptibly | moved toward the scene of approaching tau j tology. j The emaciated aspect of rny architectural j steed of the desert was so inviting to the fowls !of the air, my hoy, that divers disreputable I crows circled sullenly around my hat, as iny ] annual progressed with mc bv miscellaneously scattering his legs around beneath himself, aud !at each particular ''caw - ' of the winged min isters of famine, a perceutible shudder passed .through the entire fram'work of the deeply * agitated Pegasus. Abstractedly wiving my j umbrella, to inspire the sable birds for loftier flights, I pondered deeply upon the lesson [ taught me by the evident emotion of my uged : architectural servant; to ride upon whose fluted hack may be likened to sitting astride the | peaked roof of a small country chapel in the | midst of a hard earthquake, and holding on by the steeple. If this Gothic creation, which is j biH a horse, thought I, is so agonized by the i lucre breakfast notes of a few demoralized j crows in the atmosphere, how much more terri | ble must be the anguish of the fellow-beings I known us Southern Confederacies, who must I ever have a dreadful presentiment of being | summarily expunged from the human race by anyone of our brass-buttoned generals, who I happens to board in their neighborhood for a ! few years. It I pity this architectural servant of mine, thought, I, for his anguish at the proximity of the crows in the abstract, how much more ten der should be my feeling for Southern fellow . beings, who are continually endangered by the , much louder crows emanating from adjacent J Major-General roosters. As 1 pondered thus, j jmv boy, a crow of much plumage and large sized mien, suddenly alighted upon the pommel I of my saddle, as though impatient to breakfast I upon some pounds of horseflesh. For an in j slant, my boy, Pegasus trembled throughout his works; he paused suddenly in his pcregri -1 nation, laid back his ears us though in deep | thought, twisted iris head suddenly about; and j bit otf the tail of the crow in the abstract! i Simple as was the act, my boy, it at once re- I lieved me, in my own mind, of all obligations to | have a moro tender feeling for my Southern fellow-beings than is consistent with a proper j emotion of hatred against the enemies of my ! country. After all, we (ran learn much more from brutes than from men ; and as Balaam's ass saw the- angel before his master did, so the Angel of Victory is likely to be distinctly obvious to any poor ass in the country, before he becomes visible to the sight of our strategic great men. (I turn a pretty sharp corner in that last sen tence, my boy; but that is only safe strategy when you find our argument getting ahead of j you.) j It was high noon when I readied the Mack erel camp, and I found the spectacled veterans hastily preparing to cross Duck Lake after the manner of aquatic warriors. By some strange fatality, all the pontoons wero at hand in time, greatly to the distress of our more venerable troops, who seemed to fear that such unheard of punctuality must be an evil omen. As there were a great many pontoons, and it was not deemed best to waste any of them, two bridges were built instead of one, it being considered I that, inasmuch as it was purposed to surprise the unseemly Confederacies on the other side : two bridges would be just twice as surprising to . them as one would be. There was logic in this | idea, my boy —much logic and consummate ; strategy. Gazing across the expanse of waters, I be- j I held a couple of regiments of Confederates: < playing poker on tho bank, and says I to Vil- i liam Brown, who was at the moment returning I a small black bottle to his holster: "Tell mc, my fearless blue-black, how this ( can possibly be a surprise, when yonder gray- i backs are looking on all the timo." "Ahl" says Villiam with muob loftiness of demeanor, "You are but a civilian inseck, and ; know milling about war The movement," ' WHOLE NUMBER. 30.19 VOL. 6, NO 43. says Villiam, placidly, "is intended as a sur prise to the enemy, upon the principle that any movement whatever of this Army must surprise everybody." I was reflecting seriously upon this unan swerable explanation of profound strategy, my boy, when Captain Bob Shorty came rattling up with a paper in his hand, and says he; At tention, Company! while I read a document I calculated to restrain the licentiousness of a j corrupt aud vicious press: GENERA!, ORDER. "For the purpose of preventing tho trans ' mission of all news not previously published in | the morning journals of the so-called Southern Confederacy, it has been determined by the General Commanding to require all correspon dents of the press to affix their full names, ages and addresses to whatever matter they trans mit for publication, thus giving to the journals of our time the double character of newspaper and business directory. Reporters having vul gar names, like Jones, Smith or Stiggins, will be at liberty to assurao the names borne by the most popular characters in the exciting tales furnished by our weekly journals of romance— such as Lord Mortimore, Claude de Percy, Les ter Heartease. "Correspondents who do not comply with this requirement will not be permitted to assist in surprising the so-called Southern Confeder acy. "THE GENERAL OFTIIE.MACKEREL BRIGADE." Blue Seal.) After we had all truly digested this useful and sagacious General Order, my boy, Captain Samvule Samitli was ordered to make a detour of Duck Lake with the Anatomical Cavalry, and dig a canal in the rear of the well-known Con federacy; and the Mackerel Brigade, under tha personal supervision of the Grim Old Fighting Cox, commenced to cross the pontoon bridges in two divisions. Tho bridge that 1 was upon, my hoy, was at once attacked at the other end i by a surprised Confederacy with a large pair of i scissors, who malignantly cut that end loose, j There was an aged civilian chap, from Albany, j of much stomach and a broad-brimmed hat, j standing near me, und when he found the j bridge beginning to wove, he smote Lis breast, and says he: "Where are we drifting to?" i "Be not alarmed, Mr. Weed,'' says I pleas antly; "we shall soon repair the damage." "Mem 1" said he, "I wish I'd gone over on the other platform at first." Ha was quite an old tnao, my boy, sbitrty sinking into the rising waves of his own fat; and for that reason appeared to have a chronic fear of some unexpected submersion." The Mackerel Brigade, in two parts, having reached the opposite shore ot Duck Lake in safety, the Grim Old Fighting Cox ordered Captain Villiam Brown and Captain Bob Shorty to tako each a regiment of spectacled veterans and cautiously feel the Confederacies' lines, while he led the remainder of the national troops to a small village at hand, which he had particularly requested to bo immediately de stroyed. It was his great strategical plan, my boy, to form his lines in the shape of a triangle, thus inclosing the unmannerly Confederates between three fires, and winning a great geo metrical victor} - . The Confederates being duly surrounded, and the village being set on fire at tho apex of the triangle, the Grim Old Fight ing Cox withdrew to a tent, spread a map of the world upon a camp-stool before him, and proceeded to take topographical observation*. Drawing from his saddle-bags an instrument of opaque glass, of tubular character, quite large in circumference about half-way up, and then tapering into a neck, or smaller tube, of nearly ihe same length, he raised it in a semi horizontal position to a point about one-and-a half inches above the lower circumference of his chin, until he could look through it at an angle bisecting its greater circumference upon the map. The light, striking through the body of this in strument, cast a wavy, fluctuating sort of yel lowish glare upon that part of the map repre senting the well-known Southern Confederacy, accompanied by a species of soft trickling sound. | After an interval of some ten minutes, the op erator saw, by this contrivance, just double the number of Confederates he had to contend with. It only remained, then, for him to divide the uumbcr thus ascertained by two, and he knew exactly the number of his foes." You will observe, my boy, that this singular ly ingenious device at once revealed to the new General of the Mackerel Brigade the true strength of his greatest enemy, and inspired him with a strong spirit. It was immediately after this, that the Grim Old Fighting Cox, issued the following "GENERAL ORDER. "The manner in which the crossing of Duck Lake has been accomplished proves that this is the finest Array ever seen on the plan it, and is likely to prove equally fine on the do it. I have now got the well-known Southern Confed eracy where I wished to have her, and she must either ignominiously retreat, or come out of her works und be annihilated by me on ray own ground, which is ground-arms 1 "THE GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE." Having let fly this General Order, my boy, tho Grim Old Fighting Cox poceeded to com plete his surprise of the enemy by leading a bay onet charge from his side of the triangle, and immediately telegraphed to tho base of tho tri angle that the enemies of human freedom were retreating before him. This was truly thecusc; for the unseemly Confederacies not only retreat ed before him, but retreated with such impetus of flight upon Captain Villiam Brown at the base of the triangle, that they actually drove him clear out of his place, and proceeded to oc cupy the base themselves. Thus matters stood at the conclusion of the first day. Early on the second day, tho Grim Old Fight ing Cox charged again upon some fresh regi ments of Confederacies, who returned with such violence that they completely pressed Captain Hate* of C&toertioing. One Square, thrse weeks or let*. ...... .01 M One Square, each additional insertion lot than three month. U 3 MONTHS. • MONTHS. 1 ** One square • $3 00 $4 00 $6 00 Two squares ........ 400 500 900 Three squares 500 700 12 00 } Column 600 900 IS 0O i Column 800 12 00 20 00 \ Column 12 00 18 00 30 00 One Column 18 00 30 00 50 00 | Administrators'andEaecutors' notieeso2.oo, Au ditors' notices $1.30. if under 10 line*. $2.00 d more than a square and less than 20 lines. Kstrays, $1.25, if but one head is advertised, 25 cent* for every additional head. The space occupied by ten lines of this sue or type counts one square. All fractions of a square under five lines will be measured as a half square and all over five lines as a lull square. All legal advertisements will be charged to the person hand ing them in. ___ Bob Shorty from the right line of the triangle, and remained in that line themselves. This was the second day's battle. On the following morning it was discovered that fresh Confederacies had come up from Par is. These were attucked irresistibly by the whole Mackerel Brigade, and only succeeded in making a stand when they found, as it were, the left lino of the triangle. You will perceive, my boy, that agreatpieca of geometrical strategy had been thus achieved; hut it now turned out that the General of the Mackerel Brigade had made a mistake, and a most serious one. While taking his observa tions with his ingenious glass instrument, he hud seen just double the number of triangles (2) that might be formed by certain great strat egetical evolutions, as he had just double that number of the Confederacies; but, in his haste, lie had neglected to divide the ascertained num ber of triangles by two, as he should have done; and now he discovered that only one triangle was formed, and that by the unseemlyand chuck ling Confederacies. Such a nice thing is strat egy, and so easily is it deranged. Owing to this error, of course nothing mora could be done, and on Tuesday evening the Mackerel Brigade returned, full of enthusiasm, :to their original side of Duck Lake. The affair had been merely a reconnoissance. Last evening, my boy, I was talking to the Mackerel Chaplain about this singular strategi cal alfair, and says he: "God help us! The skeleton regiments we have left standing are scarcely more than the skeleton regiments we have left sleeping; and only the sleeping ones can look upward." Let gentle charity, my boy, silence our tongues to the dread mistake "that is past; for he who made it, lost by it the glorious immortality his meanest soldier slain has won. Yours, gently, ORPHEUS C. KERR. TERRIBLE DROUGHT IN AUSTRALIA —Accounts from Sydney, Australia, represent that a fear ful drought has prevailed in Australia. In some localities there had been no rain for four teen months, and the cattle had died by thou sands. One farmer lost 5,000 to 0,000 sheep and lambs another, 15,000, and all who owned stock of uny kiud suffered in a like manner. No. one iu the country remembers such a season be fore. Wool could not be brought into Sydney,, as all the bullock teams died on the road for want of pasturage and wafer. In some parts of the country nothing is met for miles and milee but the bodies and -bleached bones of sheep and bullocks. ey"How do you get along with your arith metic I" asked a father of his little boy. "I've ciphered through addition, partition, subtraction, distraction, abomination, justifica tion, hallucination, damation, amputation, cre ation and adoption." He'd do for an engineer on a "Short Line Rail Road." W Willie, who is just entering upon his fourth winter, had very attentively watched one of his sisters dressing for an evening party; and as it was summer time, and fashionable, the dress did not come as far on the neck as Willie's ideas of propriety suggested. He went to her ward rube, and in a moment came back pulling a close-fitting basque after him, when the follow ing conversation ensued: Sister—"What is that fori" Willie—"For you to put on." Sister—"But lam dressed now 1 look pret ty, don't 1?" Willie—"Yes," giving a modest gianoe at her shoulders; but mrubody might tee you " carSouie years since a North Carolina lawyer undertook to convince a Methodist preacher of some celebrity, that his manner in preaching, 11. threatening his auditors with damnation, was injudicious, and that arguments and exhorta tions of a milder character would be more suc cessful. After listening patiently, the preacher replied, "My friend, you are mistaken; sin is like a terrapin—you may exhort, admonish, even kick bun, and he will not move, but mere ly draw bis bead within the shell, and your la bor is lost; but place a coal of fire on his back, and be travels. Hell fire is tie article /" O*A friend tells a story of a witness who makes a very nice distinction in the shades of lying. Being questioned by a lawyer as to the general reputation of another witness for truth, the witness was asked whether the individual was not a notorious liar. "Why," said he, rolling an immense quid of tobacco in his mouth, "not exactly so, but he is what I call an intermittent liar " trrA few nights ago, a Mr. Bodkin, who had been out taking bis glass and pipe, on go ing home late, borrowed an umbrella, and when his wife's tongue was loosened, he sat up in bed and suddenly spread out the parapluie. "What are you going to do with that thing?" said she. "Why, my dear, I expected a very heavy storm to-night, and so I came prepared." In less than two minutes, Mrs. Bodkin was fust asleep. C3TA lawyer has boen arrested in Washington for speculating on the bodies of dead soldiers- He would write to bereaved friends, offer to forward the "departed," pocket the fees in ad vance, and then send any corpse be could ob tain. C3*A voting lady was recently cured of pal pitation of the heart by a young M. D., in the most natural way imaginable. He held one of her hands in one of his, put his arm around hor waist, and whispered something in her right ear. She answered y-e-a-s. *2TYoung Sawbones wanted to kiss WB pret - ty cousin under the mistletoe; but she snatched her head away, saying— "Manners, sir; don't thrust you J* doctor's bill in my face "
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers