VOLIMIE NEW SERIES. _ r i THE EEDEORD GAZETTE is PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING BY MEYERS fc BEN FORD, At the following terms, to wit: $1.50 per annum, CASH, in advance, ij j.OO " " if paid within the year. SJ.SO " " if not paid within the year. pyNo subscription taken lor less than six mouths. gy}{j paper discontinued until all arrearages are paid unless at the option of the publishers. It has Leen decided by the United States Courts, that the stoppage of a newspaper without the payment ol ar rearages, is prima facie- evidence of lraud and is a criminal offence. Cy'l'he charts have decided that persons are ac countable for the subsriiption price of newspapers, if they take them fiom the post office, whether they subscribe for them, or not. GEN. JACKSON'S RELIGIOUS CHARACTER. - Jt is not generally known that General Jack son was intended for the ministry. We find the following interesting facts in the cortespon dent ol the Presbyterian Sentinel, a paper recently started in Memphis, Tennessee : While lie was very young, Jackson's father died, leaving his mother but little means to ed ucate and fit lor the duties ol life himself and two brothers. Andrew was intended for the ministry ot the Presbyterian church. For the accomplishment of this purpose lie was sent to a flourishing academy at the YVaxhaw Meeting House, in South Carolina, where he was put to llie sutdy of the dead languages. The Provi- j deuce ol God, however, had a mission for Jackson to fulfil, and hence the prosecution of the mother's purpose was intei rupt.d, and tin* whole course of the youth changed. In his al ler life of trial, vicissitudes, and danger, Jack son olten appeared irreligious, and sometimes even prolan.-, yet how plainly do we see a type of character traceable directly to the early training of a Scotch-Irish Presbyterian mother, ami which precisely lifted him tor his wor*. And certlinly no man, not excepting John Newton himself, has ever more strikingly ex emplified the words ot Solomon, '• 1 rain up the child in the way he should go, and when lie ,ryts old lie jwill not depart fiom it." Jn his old age, Gen Jackson became a de voted member of the Old School Presbyterian <lhurclt. Savs his late biographer : "He was a sincere and devoted communicant ol the Pres byterian Church, and he erected a house nf worship in the immediate vicinity of the Her mitage for the convenience of his family and servants." The same biographer also sla'es that during his last illness "he was constantly cheered by the visits of his old and attached m rsonal Iriends, and the consolations of religion iownw.."; QQ one occasion lie wW „ |W W. remarked to a c er ), nH ,,. clful God.— ihat he wa in } t j n , Jls ?00d ..1 have lull confi neatly out and die la>t gi-mn , is true. Ihe to it.-part when caller • j . bo ok have principles and statu .'s • baV e tried to l„. e „ the ruleol mv [ iU ,. u,> conform to its spirit as near : ,ha< ol salvation, through tov Christ.' Such I 1.-I •! S 'VZ J <7"n,Tai J.ct. ..J bril- And where, I a~, written words so iv'worj'. olT*- J ; wi^ oro lThcfou ltd'J be h °T be continued, w!.eu dving, • ul ", i fly cion and christian altection am. tcr words ol L C ~ latest biog resignalion. " H, t ,; lbe last, and bis lapher, "retained _ ° than \f is earlier dying moments, ex a intellectual wars, exhibited U> ' ..,J bv D r . Eshleman, lusatten lt was remaiked by u faith in ;"lS S !nUh3 ol religion Edgar, of the 1- irst 1 i - } ser mon, and , ,11c, rhould preach ta ► • -^j; ov „ that no pompous parade si bis grave. ~ ._ o t all T "°^" lTS , 'n. Zi X b. P pit •"""• happy hou.elio,., >h i o( . All 15 1 .Urliood nJ' ' that there I. hrokm P when e„ ft wh „„ , a bar in the house . when there must • u.picion ha. once enter d üb™ _ be reserve in talk, ant g oJ Ansbus „ ela i confidence in their sr.-. r;:,ir' *■ "> f ohauhM 'J. their pill "^r S !'' ,T- -T-r be cured, l ,e w, ll be i 1 xlily disorder. •* *ll the endei .Mv'o.l.lul lor tbe >he end vor tails, means must ol course b vent his example from doing i because [ said, the family peace lh the family confidence g■ ■ t |<fW \" e Ti ! e ere a pubiie benrfil, for Ihey ere 1" -J Z ..ral r„,,1, Ulcrsed, wfifim > 'IrM ; th.-ir life u .heir hearts, they and within their home a 1 .r\ a duess have the security ol rectitude, aim the 0 of innocence. rf-The ancient GTC -US buried their dead .n jars. Hence the viprvi-i-nc-iic c. b - i COULD'XT FIND IT OUT. MR. SLOCUM was not educated in a universi ty, and his life has been in by-paths and out-of tho-way place. His mind is characterised by the literalness rather than the comprehensive grasp ol great subjects. Mr. Slocum can, however, master a printed paragraph by dint of spelling the hard words in a deliberate manner, and manages to gain a few glimpses of men and things from his little rocky farm, through the medium of a village newspaper.— It is quite edifying to hear Mr. Slocutn reading the village paper aloud to his wife after a hard day's wotk. A few evenings since, farmer Slocum was reading an account of a dreadful accident which had happened at the factory , in the next town, and which the village editor had described in a great many words. "I declare, wife, that was an awful accident over to the mills," said Mr. Slocum. "What was it about, Mr. Slocum ?" "I'll read the'count wife, then you'll know ■ all about it." Horrible and fatal Occident. —lt becomes our melancholy and painful duty to record the particulars of an accident tha f occurred at the lower mill, in this village, yesterday afternoon, by which a human being in tlie prune of life was hurried to that bourne from which, as the immortal Shakspeare says, 'no traveller re turns.' ("I)u tell ! exclaimed Mrs. S.") Mr. David Jones a workman, who has few superiors this side of the city, was superintending one of the large drums, ("I wonder if 'twas a brass drum, such as has 'Epluribust Unum' printed ou't," said Mrs. Slocum,) when he became entangled. His arm was drawn around the drum, and finally his whole body was drawn over the shaft at a fearful rate. When his situation was discovered, he had revolved with immense velocity about fifteen minutes, his head and limbs striking a large beam a distinct blow at each revolution. ("Poor cretur, iiow it must have hut him !") When the ma chinery had been stopped, it was found that Mr. June's arms and legs were macerated to a jelly: ("Well didn't it kill him? asked Mrs. S., with interest :") portions of the duramater, cerebrum and cerebellum, in confused masses, were scatlerred about the floor—in short, the gates of eternity had opened upon him. Here Mr. Slocum paused to wipe his specta cles, and the wife seized the opportunity to press the question. "Was the man killed ?" "1 don't know—haven't come to that place yet —you'll know when I've finished the it \Vas t'v ufrftf r " • r . taken down that it was no longer tenanted by the immoital spirit-that the vital spark was ' X Was the man killed ; that's what I want to come at ?" said Mrs. Slocum. . . '•Do have a little patience, old woman, saiu Mr. Slocum, eyeing his better halt over his snectacles, "1 presume we shall come upon it ri.rlit away." And he went on reading.— This lota! casuahtv lias cast a gloom over our vi'lwe, and we trust that it will prove a war ning all persons who are called upon to re 'Mate the powerful machinery of our mi! s. n No," said Mrs. Slocum, perceiving the narration was >JI, "nov; 1 shoulJ like to know whether the man was killed or not Mr. Slocum looked puzzled. He scratched his head, scrutinized the article he had been perusing, and took a graceful survey ot the ''T/' declare, wife," said he, "it's curious, but really the paper doMt say. " GOING THE ENTIRE TURKRR. Old Levi Allen used to go tin pediir.g in his younger days, at which business he accumula ted ouite a fortune, before he was seven-and twentv. The neighbors of the borough where he finally settled, as the proprietor of a pretty tam, would often insinuate that Allen had not been any too honest in gathering together his riches, and such was the fact. Afe low sin ner has since revealed some of the old mans vouthlul short comings and over goings, an Uu re was one "dodge" ol his so original that it is worth a mention. It was this. Whenever our dealer in tin ware chanced to put up for the night, he was pretty sure to make his way to the best bed in l^ e ha, ' se - From this bed he would take a bag full of fea thers, fetching in a bag from the cart fir that purpose, and contrived to smuggle out the same and get it stowed in his •kit' before any one was stirring. This proceeding giving him several pounds of good feathers every day, dia not a little towards swelling the p.ofUs of his business, and we are assured that it was only one of the many similar practices in w huh h indulged. , , • . On one occasion Allen slept in a ow was very scanty—a diminutive bed, a bed ol few feathers, but all it contained were live <reese," and unusually good at that. Ihe sp. c Tative tin ware merchant thought it would be rather a small business to take away ta ur from a bed containing so few—in sh ' his only sensible mode of procedure was to take the entire bed. He accordingly rose before the sun, and commenced shoving it out ol the rear window, with the intention to go down on account of "that 'ere colic,;' and store it away before any one was "up. Hot as i would have it, the host had arose, and was out under the window gathering some W .„d fuel for the morning fire, and h-n lie saw the bed 'looming up' in such an unnatural position, and just ready to fall to the ground, he cried out to the pedlar : "Halloa there, strangerwhat are you do- The astonished "operator" saw that he was caught in the act, but bis ready wit helpe Doing Vhe rejoined, with a look full thrust out his h.ai and to- a BEDFORD, PA, FRIDAY MORNING, MAY 20, 1559. survey of (he field, "I guess some of these in fernal bed bugs will soon find out what I am about—haven't slept a wink all night!" With this he "let" the bed out of the win dow, and went down to the wood-pile, from whence he took a club, and gave the bed such a beating therewith, as would have been fatal to any sort of "creeping thing" ensconsced there in. lie then took it back to his room, and looked so "darned honest" at breakfast, that his host didn't charge him but halt price for his lodgings, and took it all in "tin." THE DEACON AND THE UUSIIMAN. Under this head we find the following amu sing story going the rounds : A few months ago as Mr. lngalls, of Swamp scoot, 11. 1., was travelling in the western part of the State of New York, he fell in with an Irishman, who had lately arrived in this coun try, and was in quest of a brother who came before him and settled in some of the diggins of that vicinity. Pat was a strong athletic man, a true Catho lic, and had never seen the interior of a Pro testant church. It was a pleasant Sunday morning that brother Ingall. met Pat, who in quired the road to church. Me told Pat he was going to church himself, and invited his new acquaintance to keep him company thith er, (his place of destination being a small Metho dist church near by.) There was a great re vival there at that time, and one of the Dea cons (who by the way is very small in stature) invited brother lngalls to take a seat in his pew. He accepted the invitation, and walked in, followed by Pat, who in vain looked to find the altar, &c. After he was seated, he turned to brother lngalls and in a whisper which could be heard all around, inquired : 'Sure, and isn't this a hirritick church V 'Hush,'said lngalls, 'if you speak a loud word they will put you out.' 'And faith, not a word will I spake at all,' replied Pat. The meeting was opened with prayer by the pastor. Pat was eyeing him very closely, when an old gentleman who was standing in the pew directly in front of Pat shouted 'Glory!' 'Hist, ye clear demon,' rejoined Pat, with his loud whisper, which was plainly heard by the minister, 'be dacent, and don't make a blackguard of yourself.' The parson grew more and more fervent in his devotions. Presently the Deacon uttered an audible groar.. 'Mist-t-t, ye blackguard, have you no dacency at all ?' said Pat, at the same moment giving r.uuch in the_ri'u which caused plicating manner, said— , , • ,u --'Brethren, we cannot be disturbed in tun wav. Will some one put the man out ? . 'Yds. your rivirence,' shouted Pat, 'I will, and suiting the action to the word, he collaret the Deacon, ami to the laughter and utter as tonishment of all present, including the pastoi and brothel lngalls, he dragged him lh™"gl the aisle, and wilh'a tremendous kic.< he Jan tied him in the vestibule ol the church. JVT.4 RRI AC, E EX TIIAOR DINAR Y. A bridal paity were assembled at the lv: man Catholic chapel in Limerick, leady t take oil" another 'for better or worse,' but th cav Lothario could not screw up his couraq To "the striking point, and when asked th was willing to take the lady as his wedde wile, he became absolutely tongue-tied. Meat while the lady, who before blushed with mode ty, now crimsoned with indignation: but t! would-be Benedick put into her hand a note as a reparation to her wounded feeling Sen-obly enough she took the money, ai "thinking it a pity that she should be disappoii ted, and knowing that no time was to be lo; as it was the last day ol Shrovetide, she turm oil from the fickle swain, and asked a youi man who came to witness the ceremony, ai with whom site had been previously acqnai ted, if he would have h-r. He jumped at tl proposal, and the necessary forms having bei o-one through, the mairiage rites were compj ted On the conclusion ol the ceremony, t newly-made bride took from her pocket ,£2< and handed it and the .£2O to her new lord aj master, to the amazement and chagrin of former suitor, who.it would appear, "foun. his proposal" on a report that the lady 1 monev, and backed out of it at the last moml not seeinf it forthcoming belore the niarrif To increase his tiouble, the now happy ) one exclaimed, "Ah, you lost a bargain." STURGEON AND THE YANKEE. A gentleman who has recently retuai from England, relates an anecdote ol Mr. Su geon, that is to good to be lost : 'I he ft preacher had for his theme one day, the pi er of individual personal effort; and to iliusrs it, he told a story of a 'Yankee,' as Mr. Mi geon called lum, who boasted that he oi whip the entire English nation himself. A how could you do it V said a bystandr. 'Why,'said the yankee, 'I would take on r. glishman at a time; 1 would whip hin, a then 1 would take another, and so I wou'i along till I had whipped the entire niio At the close of the sermon Mr. Spurgeoi, lelater of the anecdote, and several lien retired into a vestry. Soon there came ira t lean, long-faced, solemn looking man, wish ed from the State of Maine. He presetted Mr. Spurgeon a letter of introduction, aid ' welcomed by the preacher. Soon Mr Si *eon addressed the new comer by sty:o ♦ Well, mv American friend, how do y>u mv illustration of individual power, dr. from votir countrymen V 'Oh,'said tie m ber from the Pine Tree State, 'I was wdl p ed with it, because it was so true,' and this said with the utmost solemnity of tone ! crravit vof manner. 'So true, so true,' sam O • Freedom of Thought and Opinion. | S., 'what do you mean, sir?' 'I knew a Yan • kee that did that once,' was the reply. 'And what was his name V Mr. Spurgeon asked; to which the Yankee answered—"The name, sir; was George Washington; perhaps you've heard of him.' Mr. Spurgeon was dumb for a mo ment; he then joined in a hearty laugh, and al lowed 'the Yankee' was too much for him. LETTER FROM Mil- BUCK A LEW- The Columbia Democrat publishes the fol lowing portion of a letter from Charles It. Buckalew, giving an account of the earthquake i t Quito : NCAU. SI a : We had this morning, at SI o'- clock, the most severe earthquake which has visited Quito during the present century. Its duration was about one minute. The spires of many churches are throw down, roofs ol houses fallen in, and the street in many places lined with broken tiles precipitated from above. I have just returned from visiting the Flores House, from which we removed on the 17th instant. It is in rums —a great part ol the roof is down, also a part of the second story ; the chimney top, thrown with violence, carried away the stable roof, some ol the furni ture is crushed, and the brick and tiles are piled four or five leet deep over the bed places where we slept. We escaped the catastrophe by just five days. My present house is UP. injured, is reasonably secure against future shocks, and there is plenty of open ground adjoining for refuge. Mrs. Buckalew and I passed into the patio, and the chilJren and servants into the garden du ring the shock—from our position, 1 saw the action of the house, and the movements of the earth to advantage. A bricklayer, on the roof, working at a chimney top, found it thrown in confusion around him, and took a firm grip to hold him self from following the fragments. There is more or less of injury all over the city, but details are yet unknown. I did not think the number killed is very large. I have had time to make only a slight personal examination, the houses are very much shattered, and another severe shock would produce immense destruction. Reports from neighboring villages represent them as having suffered severely, and we await news from the South, where previous earthquakes have been most severe. 1 might fill my sheet with reports, but have confined myself in this letter to what I know. Your's respectfully, i C. P, HitCKALEW. W. J OF SCIENCE.— ~~ '"* oe * fi no age since the lih 0 Christianity dawned on the world which ha< at once more earnestly demanded and more Bt^ially encouraged the world's redemption. E'en the apostolic age and the period of the lb formal ion were scarcely more marked than t=- A momentous battle is yet to be lbu"ht ; tu means and instruments of'victory are%et 1 the hinds of the church, and a va.'imtofuse •em is demanded alike by the greatness of the uii.ict and the assurance of success. No a<r e s made bolder assaults on Christianity than 'S. It is not, indeed, an age of prisons'and fa ts, for the genius of civil government now rteruiiy disowns them ; but it is an in ritcn the deepest and most untiring researches | science, and the most impassioned senti t't.ts and loftiest flights of literature, are both pithily and openly arrayed against the cross ' unfortunately for the truth, it is riot an ..e characterized by calm, clear, logical ihink ;g ; it is more an age of sentiment, of ima nna pn, of rhetoric. Few sit patiently down to a >ok of simple and exact truth. Unless it is lartiy dashed with impassioned sentiments with sharp points, and wrought into e witchery of romance ; or replete with such :ts as out-iomance fiction itself, found in the stoiy ol those slark mad with sin and lust, it no book for the million. And men of pro uid philosophy also, false to their position, • found among those who esteem themselves ser than Jesus Christ. Hut a better day is at hand. We see its in already. Not a few are becoming tired idle speculation, and are looking earnestly substantial truth. They are those who e sober and earnest views of life ; who think, Jv, search, and pray for truth, and prize it ve ail gold and glory ; who place the eter riches of the soul ia the knowledge and of God, before the most alluring enchant rf °f Insure, and the most - s oi ambition. These are the men who (ought tfie battles of Christianity through ; hour ; they are men of honorable scais ruises, all in the front ; they will con- Jto do as they have done, only more and - ; t.iey will, in the strength of God, it ne battle through to final victory and a single lear for the result. We e m whom we have believed. Neither r-in boasting of those who claim to be in Jce of Christianity, and regard it as old dn and wornoiit superstition, nor the wild -osot the baser sort, will avail to move a a-breadth from its foundations this lock of ill ages. There it stands, and ever will 1 g'orld grown to wise for Christianity.' iat the world knows, worth knowing, is h it. Science in advance of Christianity ! i: is no science worthy of the name that reached its port by follow ing Christian its leading star. "It is the scientific , one has well said, "who looks mean l) °or> and almost contemptible, beside tt-ishan philosopher. It is still found that punity is far in advance all that science ilected Irom the depths and brought vrom the heights of the universe. Every 'loves that we must make apologies for ef—none for Christianity. Like°a dis iV, the Gospel grows in'lus Ire, in beaut v, purity the nearer we approach it. Time do wiirkles on tiie brow ol our religion ° It camo not from the dust, anil to dust it does not return.— Historical Discourse by Rev. Dr. IVinslow. LIFE AFTER BURIAL. —A singular occur rence, say 3 the Albany Knickerbocker of the 27th, was discovered in a vault attached to one of our burial grounds on Sunday last. It was that of a female, who, was deposited therein for dead some two months since, being found, on opening the coflin, to be laying on her side, with one hand under her head. From this it was evident that the woman was alive when placed there, and awakening from ,the trance into which she had fallen, endeavored to ex tricate herself from her entombment. This, of course, was an impossibility ; the cover was not only screwed down tightly, but the space was too contracted to allow of even an effort. It was evident, however, that the unfortunate woman became convinced of the fact and concluded to die. She therefore took the easy posture in which she was found and breathed her last. The thought that they had buried her while yet alive, set her friends almost crazed. The father and mother had just arri ved from the old country last week, and were brought to the vault to see their child. The scene is related as heart rending. following good story of a negro's first meeting with a bear is told by Col , who had spent most of his fortune and life in the woods of Florida. The Col. had a black fellow, a good natured happy creature ; who, one morning, was strolling through the woods, whistling and rearing as he went, when sudden ly he spied an individual as black as himself, with much more wool. Dick looked at this new fiiend, and the hear (on his ruinp) at his. Dick's eyes began to stick out a feet. "Who's dat ?*' cried Dick, "Who's dat I" again cried Dick shaking all over. Bruin began to ap proach. Dick pulled heels for the first tree and the bear after him. Dick was upon the cy press and the bear stretching close after hirn. Dick moved out on a limb, the bear followed-- till the limb began to bend. "Now, see here mister, if you come any farder, dis lim broke. Dere! dere ! I told you so." As Dick said the limb broke, and down came bear and nigger. Dere you black debbil, I told you so ; dis is all your fault. Yer broke yer neck and I'll just ake yer to Massa Colonel.' (CF*A certain clergyman in this city some hree months ago, married a highly respectabie ooking couple ol strangers. He was some vhat surprised when they bade him "good af emoon," the bridegroom making no offer of the husband Ttu ntr#"' avs expected. A day 01 nusband. Ihe latter grasped tne w, me, ' „t hand, and shook it with great cordiality, anx iously inquiring after his health, his family, etc, ani Hound up with presenting him with "a seal ed envtdope and disappearing. On opening it a fifty dollar bill presented itself to the eyes of the astonished clergyman, and a few lines say in? that the husband was unwilling to "nay the minister" until he had tried his wife and found her "not wanting." The experiment bad resulted to his entire satisfaction, and "en closed he would please find SSO, a fee for his performance ol the marriage services."—CVcny 'and Review. OI R BEST PARLORS. —Don't keep a solemn par or, into which you go but once a month with a parson or sewing society. Hang around your walls pictures which shall tell stories of mercy, hope, courage, faith and charity. Make your living room the largest and most cheerful m t.ie house. Let the place be such that when your boy has gone to distant lands, or even When, perhaps, he clings to a single plank in tne lonely waters of the wide ocean, the thought of the still homestead shall come across the desolation, bringing always light, hope and love. Have no dungeon about youc house no room you never open—no blinds that are always shut.— lk. .Marvel. EXPECTATION OK LIFE. — Every man, woman, and child has a property in life." What is the value of this propei ly ? Mr. Charles M. * nlich lias established an extremely easy rule lor expressing this value, bv stating that from :> to GO the expectation of life is equal to two thirds of the difference between the a.'e of the party and SO. Thus, say a man"is now ~° > ears olJ • Between that age and SO there are GO years. Two-thirds ol GO are 40, and this is the sum of his expecUiion of life. If a man be now GO, he will have an expectation of nearly 14- years more. By the same rule a child of 5 has a lien on life for 50 yeais. Every one can apply the nile to his own age. .Mr. \\ illicit s hypothesis corresponds very closely with Dr. Farr's English Life Table, constructed with great care from an immense' mass ol returns. Treatment oj bounder. —As soon as it is 'as certained that a horse is foundered, take from the neck vein from one to twogalonsof blood, according to the size and condition of the ani mal ; give one ounce of alum, cithered powder ed or mixed with damp oats, or as drouth place the horse in a dry stall, (ground floor is best,) wrap his legs up'as high as the knees and hock-joints with vvollen cloths ; saturate them with cool water, and keep them so seven or eight hoars, give him no food for twenty-four hours, and then let it be a light feed of oats and bran mixed. In two or three days your horse will be fit for aimost any kind of service. If his ankles continue feverish, bathe them at night with equal parts of vinegar, alcohol and sweet oil.— Cor. Prarie Parmer. A CHANCE.— Any "respectable" man, who wants to marry ten thousand dollars with a wife thrown in, has the opportunity offered him. We see it stated that "the chief of a band of gypsies encamped near Indianapolis, I offers the hand of his daughter, with a dower j of SIO,OOO, to any respectable man who will I marry her." The "gall" will be in demand WHOM! XI UREIt SB.IO. !T7"Plcase, sir, lend poppy yoOr knife fo | make a pen with." "Certainly, mv son, here it is." Youth retires with the knife and returns in a hoot an hour. "Please sir, here's your kmle ; poppy's done with it." 1 "1 should think he was. Why what the— has he been doing with it ? 1 thought he wan ted it to make a pen ?" "So he did ■ but 1 forgot fo say it was a pi pen." J 1 ° t.vit youth, a little iu advance of an old boot. —JV*. ) . Dutchman. IIAKKOW I\(, POTATOES.—II jxitafoes are liaT rowed just before the shoots are coming through the ground, the after labor of hoeing is greatly reduced. The harrowing also breaks the crust ot the soil, and the shoot can penetrate through the ground more readily. It has also another advantage: it removes a portion ol the soil liom above the plant and thus the plant receiv es, during the first stages of its growth, when the soil is cold, the more direct iniluence of the sun. ■ ' A Pike's Peak pilgrim parsed through Davenport, lowa, the other day, encaspd in a' buckskin suit, with the seat of his breeches painted red. lie also had a gun on his shoulder, a dog at his heels, and was following the rail road rack. Imagine a dark night express train in the rear, with a big reflector in front of the engine, throwing the light on the sub ject. F us FOP. A Tyro. — *of my existence give me an }," said af printer to his sweetheart.— She immdiately made a at him, and planting her ICf between his two 11's nearly put a. to his existence. "Such an outrage was the ! of Faust looking f fat her, "is probably without a|j in this §ot country, and is a good subject lor a II." Russel, the Union candidate tor Au ditor in Mississippi, being called on for a speech, began thus : "Fellow citizens ! You have called on me for a few remarks. I have none to make. ] have no prepared speech. Indeed, I am no speaker. Ido not desire to be a "speaker," I only want to be an "auditor." KF*A learned young lady the other evening astonished the company by asking for the "loan of a diminutive, argentiferous truncated cone, convex on its summit, and semi perforated with symmetrical incantations." — She wanted a thimble. me ten cents to buv a uj,®.^ ur ,. vear "give said Hie old!?' "" o "Who is I hat Dao ?" saiJ |h , |e fe| "Vou," was (he reply. cZf'" len cra " *° bu J' Hi. brother "shelled over," immediate!,. THE lic-I'LT— The man who did not Ibink "•PtaWe u.bring np hil chiWrwl ' llas Jst heard from his tbreesons. One en t"al , r , " l " Ver >no.l,e, hid it-en aken up as a vagrant ; and the other had ;one to a public institution to learn the slice naking business under a keeper. of of a-e Preaching the master with a bold look and l a " J "' e foll ° wi °S "May I be dismissed, sir ?" " au! 10 lalu '"y 'oman ont sleighin 6 , n rmefs - in^'reen ^r (Mass.) have seitn Th IT i dS ° f m2ple SU S ar lhe Present season. ] |, e total number of trees tapped was tree thousand four hundred and twenty-two he greatest yield per tree was four pound* and the smallest a trifle l s tJjan three pounds' per tree!™ 8 * ab ° Ul thr " e and ha,f P° unt3s ' An honest son of Erin, green from his peregrinations, put his head into a lawyer's othce and asked the inmate: 'An' what do you sell here?' 'Blockheads,' replied the limb of the law. ch thm, to be sure,' said P a t, 'it must be a good trade, lor I see there is but one of them .; . , ma ." in ' ,ie nation is more indebted o the peop e than I am,' said an oflice holder Indeed, sir? how much of the.r money have you taken.' J K p / "W lie," said a tyrannical husband to his "abused consort," "I wish you to make me a pair of lalse bosoms." "I should think," repli ed she "that one bosom, as false as yours is, would be sufficient." iT? floolh, the tragedian, had bis nose broken some years since. A Jadr once said to him, "I .ike your acting, but I cannot get over vour nose." "Ao wonder," said he, "the bridge is gone." ° CONVERSION OF SEAMEN. —ftev. J. fi. | ley, pastor of the Manner's Church, on Water street, above Walnut, in his tilth annual re port, states- that about 500 seamen have been converted during the yen.—Peunsylvanian. ' ~-'Are you looking lor any one in par ticular ? as the rat said wheu he saw the cat watching him. SOME hearts, are like primroses, upon most beautifully in the shadow of life. VOL. 2, NO. 42.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers