VOLI IIE NEW SERIES. THE BEDFORD GAZETTE IS PUBLISHED EVER V FRIDAY MORNING BY MEYERS & BENFORD, At the following terms, to Wit: $! .30 per annum, CASH, in advance. $2.00 " " if paid within the yfcar. $2.50 " " if not paid within the year. (Y?~No subscription taker, tor less than six months. E7"No paper discontinued until all arrearages are paid, unless at the option of the publishers. It has ijeen decided by the United States Courts, that the stoppage of a newspaper without the payment of ar rearages, is prima facie evidence ot fraud and is a criminal offence. courts have decided that persons are ac countable for the subscription price of newspapers, if they take them from the post ollice, whetherthe y subscribe tor them, or not. POET ft V. FAREWELL TO SUMMER. BV WM. 11. .C iIOSMER. FAREWELL ! thy moon is on the wane, Thy last bright day is near its close : On rosy lips that thirst for rain, Heaven riot a drop bestows : Tiie cricket, Summer, sounds thy knell, Queen of the seasons ! fare thee weli. The flowers that wreathed thy beauteous head Droop pale and withered on thy brow The light that made thy morning red Is dull and misty no.v Sad voices pipe in woods and dell, To Summer and her joys farewell. Gone is-thy belt of rainbow shine, Starred with the dew drops of the showers, And kirtle of enchanted green Embroidered o'er with flowers ; Thy golden wand of wondrout spell Is dim and broken now—farewell! There is a Summer of the heart That hath its mournful ending here ; Delights that w armed its core depart While it grows dull and drear. And sadder than the funeral bell Hope whispers to the soul farewell. i> s a-; s>, On the 7th July last, at his residence in North Huntingdon township, Westmoreland County, Fa., JACOB BYERLY, in the niuety-ninth year of his age. The deceased was born in Bedford Fort, in Miv 1760. Hi tohor, Andrew Byeflv, who had oeen in Braddock's army, movea w*u. family—wife and ten children—across the Ai leghauies in 1762, and built a cabin on the land now known as Harrison City. This cabin was the onlv impr vemeiit between Fort Liganier and Fort Pitt, it was a gloomy period to the few settlers scattered west ot the mountains. — The war between England and France for sup rermey in the New Aor IJ was over, and Can ada, with all its dependencies, had been surren dt red to the victoi ious English. But the in veterate hatred of the Indians on the frontier to the settlers was not allayed. Poidiac, the great chief of the Ottawa-,had formed a combination of all tbe tubes from the mountains to the Mis sissippi. The forts and stations w ere simulta neously altacked. "The most terrible border war known in our history, was raging along the whole western frontier. Everywhere were experienced the same horrible cruelties of sav age warfare, the sudden surprise, the massacre, the scalping and burning. Everywhere were ashes of cabins mingled with the charred bon -s ol" their tenants. Everywhere the ripe harvest stood without the reapers." Such were the perils that surrounded tiie family of Jacob By erly. It is reported that Chapman, at the mouth of the Big Sewitklv, their nearest n-igh bor on the south, is killed; Andrew Byerly h-is- lens to-his cabin. Au Indian friendly to 'he family, advises the mother to leave at onrc with her children for Fort Ligonier. The advice is taken; the lather overtakes them on the toiite and thev escape with saletv into the lorl, which ;S immediately attacked bv the Indians. 1 rom the distinct recollection of Jacob Byerlv, as to tire incidents occurring in the fort during tins attack, {such as running a nail in iii 3 loot, and from some data in possession o! his brother* Michael Byerlv, Esq., who died many year* ago,) it was generally supposed that his age was greater than he himself represented. In 1763, a force under Col. Boquet released the beleaguer! garrisons of Forts Bedford and j Ligonier, and marched to the relief of Fort Pitt. Andrew Byerlv joined the expedition, and was present at the battle of Bushy Run. The en gagement continued for two days, and the sava ges were defeated, Fort Pitt relea-ed, and an expedition organized by Boquet against the Ohio Indians, forced them into a treaty of peace.— Andrew Ryerly returned to his former settle ment, and built a cabin on the land now owned bv Peter Htghberger. During the Revolutiona ry war, the frontiersmen were again summon ed to defend their homes and firesides against their old foes—the Indian uarriois inoiled to hostilities by thebiibes and promises ol English emissaries. Jacob Byerlv, then a young man, active and athletic, with an iron constitution, and of most indomitable courage was early in the field. He was engaged in a number of scouting parties; and in that most hazardous of services, he was always ready to turn out at the call ol his distressed neighbors. His scout ing expeditions extended through \V estern V ir ginia and Pennsylvania, and into Ohio. He went with a.party to settlers who had been .killed at Wheeling: went to the relief -of Fort Lawrence and Wallace's station; was on a 1 scout to Purfxatawnev, and joined in pursuit of the party who killed the Willards; was On the •-xpedition against the Tuscaroras in Ohio, and 5 served under Gen. Broadhead in the destruition of the towns of the Cornplanter Indians. In this expedition, while following a trail, in com pany with Jacob Smith and another scout, he killed an Indian chief in a hand to hand en- i counter. His regular services were in the 13th V irginia regiment, two companies of which re giment formed part of the garrison at Port Pitt. He belonged par£ of the tune to a company commanded by Captain (afterward General) O Hara. ol whom he always spoke in the high est terms. He was the last of the Revolu tionary soldiers in (his country who drew a pension from the General Government. After the Revolutionary war, the deceased married Elizabeth Harman, and raised a family of twelve children, only four of whom survive him. Mr. Byerly always enjoyed the respect and confidence of all who knew him. He was a man of the purest character, and his integrity was proverbial. He eve r felt a warm interest in tlie progress and prosperity of his country, and in th* administration of national a.Tairs.— He voted at every general election, fro n the adoption ot the Constitution until his death. At the foundation of parlies, he attached him self to the Democratic parly, and he remained zealously and actively devoted to the support of the principles of his early political faith.— Having a personal knowledge of the transport of joy which thrill the hearts of his country men, when their independence was established, and the L niun of the States was firmed, he al-, ways viewed with distrust and alarm every movement which had a tendency to alienate , one section oi the L niori from the other, and to : destroy those iraternal feelings which prevailed dining the Revoluti >n. lie spoke of these things a few days before his death. Honest and upright in all his dealings, enjoying the respect and friendship of his neighbors, easy in his circumstances, happv in the well doing of his children, surrounded by every thing that can render lite desirable, the venerable patri arch was permitted to live long beyond the per iod of life usually allotted to man :* and alter a stormy youth, to pass the evening of his days in tranquillity and ease. He lived to see the blood thirsty savpges, the tenants of the firest, disappearing before the advancing step? of the white man; the unbroken wilderness trans- ' formed into highly cultivated farms: hardship' and perils of frontier lite, exchanged for the com forts and Juxuiies of the present day. He saw his countrymen who in his youth barely main tained a precarious foothold West of tire- Alle ghenies, declaring the right to b- an dent people, maintaining that declaration j against the most powerful ot modern empires, and establishing a form of Government, the ad vantage and the hope of mankind. He saw : th m spreading themselves over the the valleys r ,r. , u , . , , , .. J selves in vigorous communities on the shores of the Pacific; their prosress in the arts and sci ences. in commerce, agriculture, ami manufac turing skill, keeping pace with the spread ot population, their flag respected in every quar ter of the globe: their might and prowess so re c ionized, that for them, a world in arms has no terrors. He had the satisfaction of feeling, tfiat he too had contributed in his humble sphere of life his full share of these results; in •' war,serving his country, and in peace, an in dustnous law abiding citizen. During the hist illnessf>t the deceased, the Rev. Mr. McGau ghey.of the Presbyterian Church, was his spiri tual adviser. He met his last enemy with tranquility; in peace with mankind, and in a blessed hope of a life beyond the grave. I * lit 11 prevented by tiie infirmities ol age, Mr. Byerly hail regular ly worshipped at the Lutheian and Geiman Reformed Church at Adamsburg. In his younger days, often with rifle in hand he had attended Divine worship there. There in 1826 he had buried Ins wife, m the 66th year ol h-T age. There were the graves of his children, and tin-re the mortal remains of the old patii arch and soldier now repose. The citizenis ol Adair sburg paid the last tiihute of respect to the Honored Dead, by fi ring a salute of cai non over his giave. CURIAH 11. /. \IS. The slaughter of the pokers begins this month on a!! well regulated farms, from Aroos took, to the farthest West and South to Mason and Dixon's line, and only a little later tur ther South we see the sleek beauties suspended MB the gambrels, their open mouths biting the 'Voin which they shelled corn while liv ing. The hams and shoulders, destined for ba con, ate liable to be spoiled in two ways—by too much salt and too little. Not one ham i;i 1 1 ten offered in the market is properly cured for human food. Many persons put the hams in with the other pork, and spoil them. Many of the recipts offered are too indefinite to be ot and service. The following cures bacon fit for a king, or bis eldest daughter. For ann hundred pounds of ham lake salt' ten pounds—Turks Island is the best—six oun ces of saltpetre, and two pounds of brown suga'. Mix the ingredients'as evenly as possible and j rub them upon the flesh side of the hams and shoulder. Pack the hams in a clean cask, skin side downward. Put a stone and hoard on top of the hams and rill up with clean cold water so as to cover them. In a few days all will bedisol ved and form a pickle just right. But the salt in the solution is continually sinking to the bottom. Therefore, either change the pickle pouring it out and pouring it back again—or if the barrel is but partly filled, roll it around a few times so as to stir the contents thoroughly, as often as Once a week. The negtect of stir ' ring the pickle, after it is made, spoils many a ; barrel of hams. Tn six weeks they will be cu red just right. Smoke them ten days, to two ; weeks, in a COQI smoke house. Put tin m in , tight cloth wrappers, whitewash the wrappers, artd'lhey Wifl keep for years. This is our fam ily" ft*c)pe, fised for*fourteen years, and always 1 mates' 'quarters oFham, that keeps the belter half in constant good humor at meal time. CHARLESTON, NOV. B. The deaths from yel low fever during the past week were 12. BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 19,1858. ' TRAITS OF INDIAN CHARACTER. BY" CAPTAIN JOHN S. FORD. Among the Comanches war parties are frnn eJ by volunteeis. la many instances the com mander has only temporary authority, which ceases with the campaign; in others, an ac knowledged chief takes the lead. It is not un usual for a party to remain absent, while opera ting in Mexico, for the space of twelve months. A young warrior will make anv sort ot sacri fice to equip and mount himself for an expedi tion. The officer second in command always places himself at the heal of the column the superior otiicer is in the extreme rear, superin tends movements, rectifies errors, and is presu med to be in a position to have everything un der his immediate inspection. A front guard usually ['recedes the main bodv f'orn a quarter of a mile to two miles in advance. They kej-p a strict look-out—ride to the lop of em mences —scan the surrounding country in every direc tion. When an enemy is supposed to be near, I they approach the apex of a hil! with very gieat j caution. They will crawl on the ground, car- j rying before their faces a bunch ot green bran- | dies ofgrass, to pievent suspicion, if discovered, | Unless to one well acquainted with Indian ion- j trivances, the disappearance or moving of a ; bunch of leaves would be attributed to Hie a- ; gency of the win i. i Discoveries made bv the vanguard arp spee dily communicated to the oftieer in command. There is a rear guard, whose duty it is to pre , vent surprise from that direction. Flankers are often thrown out. When a large body is moving, upon approximating a point of danger, pickets are sent ont in every direction, which operate on a more extended scale than the a buve mentioned guards. There is a place of rendezvous appointed at which everything in relation to the expedition is concluded upon. For instance, if a forav upon the country adjacent to Laredo is contem plated, time, manner ami second place to ren dezvous, are arranged. Formerly they used to make'the Raices the point where they formed their eamp preparatory to active operations.— j From here they would send out scouts, to as certain the condition of the country the pres- ! ence of tioops—upon the information thus ac quired they would act. Sometimesthew would | move down in a body, fall upon the ranches j boldly in the day time—kill, plunder, and car- ! rv off women and children prisoners: at others. I when secure from danger, they would divide! into two squads, and make a simultaneous de made prisoners,"collected nbrs<*s tv, they would, if unpursued, move for the ! Raices, and remain in camp several days, re- j cruiting,animals, feasting and preparing for ai quick march to their own camp. If another j party should be still behind, they leave signs ; designating all they may wish them to know. A small branch, supported by a little heap of : rocks, is inclined in the direction they will j move. The grass is removed from the earth, I a line drawn, a mirnbr of marks made on each side, to represent the numoer of men and horses I in the party. They have a species ol hiero- ; glyphic and symbolic characters they use iri j conveying ideas. When they wish to inform | their friends of the death of a warrior, it is done by drawing an Indian without a head.— j if wounded only, the figure is completed with j a stieak of red at the part wounded. Upon aj tree on the .Nueces, some thirty or foity miles ! above the Laredo and San Antonio crossing, at j a place known as I lie Comanche crossing, are a | number of th< se symbolical representations.— ! One of them is descriptive of a combat between a Comanche with a lance and a Mexican with , a sword. The sword is miserably deficient in j length. The rough painting conveys a rather : ludicrous id-a of the matter, evincing very i clearly ttie contempt in which the Indians hold Mexican prowess, and the almost inevitable conclusion that the light resulted in the Don's overthrow and death. The full of the moon is the time they are usually looked fur. The rays of this luminary afford them the means of discovering animals, and of traveling during the night. In the event of being pin sued, immediately after the perpe tration of depredations, the Comanches move day and night, very often not breaking a gal lop, except to change horses, which they do sex ei a I times, and to water the c<ib<illado x until they deem themselvps sale. Coder these cir- \ cutnstances they will travpl at least seventy miles per day, which is a long distance, with the encumbrance of loose animals. A party of warriors, dressed in their trap . pings—embellshed shields—fancy moccasins— long pigtails bedecked with silver—shoulder belts worked with beads, and adorned wilh shells ! —line leggms—ornamented cases for bows and I arrows mounted upon spirited horses—singing j I a war song, and sweeping over a prairie; is a , beautiful spectacle to a man with plenty of brave fellows to back him. Their motions are easy and graceful. They sit a horse admirably and manage one with a master hand. Charge them and they will retreat trom you with double your numbers, but beware ; keep your men to gether—well in hand —with at least hall their arms loaded, or else you will find when it is too late, a flying Comanche well knows the nick of lime to turn upon and charge his pursuer to the very teeth. A Comanche can draw a bow when on horseback—standing or runmg—with remarkable strength and accuracy. They have been known lo kill horses, when at full speed over one hundred yards. In the commencement of a fight, the yell ot defiance is borne to you long, loud and startling. The war whoop has no romance in it. It thrills even a stout heart with an indescribable sensation. The excitement of battle is quite as pvident among these people as others. Let the tide turn against them—send leaden messengers through some of their warriors, and then the mornful wail is heard —its lugubrious tones are Freedom of Thought and Opinion, j borne back to you with uncouth cadence, be j tokening sorrow, anger and a determination to : revnge -1 > -ii i ever ride between a bowman's left ; if vou do, k>n to one he will pop an arrow through you When mounted, an Indian cannot use his low kgainstjan object behind and to his right. Ihe dead are usually bornt from the field*.— Nothing but the most imminent danger prevents then' from performing the incumbent dutv of i aot living the body of a comrade in the hands lof an enemy. Over a fallen chief they will j mate i desparate stand. Their caution seems ! "Tged in the d termination to risk every : thing tcbear him from the field. They will fight ftricusly, bravely, and even hopelessly, to a.tail this object. If th u y abandon him it is in despair. I light is no longer methodical an.l menacing to the pursuer. Retreat degene rate into rout. After this, they have seldom, il e/er, been known to resume the offensive.— I hty will bide themselves in the first chapparal j afi'oifing security against discovery, remain du i ring the day, visit the dead at night, and it not ■ able to remove them, will spread blankets or j some covering over them. i lit bow is placed diagonally in shooting—a i ! m,fT) bei of arrows are held in the right hand— | | the bow operates as a rest to the arrows. The !■ . distance, the curve the missile has to describe j it) reiching tlie object, and in fact, everything | connected with their archery is determined by ' ! the eyr> without taking aim. Arrows are sped alter each other in rapid succession. At the 1 distance of sixty yards and over they can be I if but < ne Indian shoots at you at the 1 same moment—under forty, the six-shooter has I iittle advantage over the bow. At long dis tances the angle of elevation is considerable.— It requires a quick eye to see the arrow, and judge the whereabouts ot its descent—a go id iid<r withal, to keep the saddle. A man is re quired to keep both eyes engaged in an Indian figbt. Prisoners are treated wit ii extreme cruelty bv the Comai.ch s. They aie beaten, starved, made slavesof and subjected to manv tortming indignities. I his rigor is relaxed when a man or youth evinces a desire to become one of the tribe. The man is suffered to marrv, and the boy is educated to become au Indian in habits. An adroit rogue is held in great esteem. THE FRE.XCHMA.X A XD THE COCK ROACHES. TheVTovemfwr number of that excellent pe riodicf-, the -Knickerbocker,' contains the fol low im' • • l . * * "IA few days after the oattle of Jena a French regiment was announced to arrive iu the after noon, but, from some cause or other, did not make its appearance til! late in the evening.— According to custom, they were then billeted out among the citizens, and a baker in our neigborhuod rec-ived six fur his sharp. The dinner had been prepared early in the afternoon, and the troops not arriving at the expected time, the viands were placed in the bake-oven to be kept warm. At last alter the lapse ol four or five hours over the expected iiine, they arrived, very much fatigued by an unusually long day's march, in consequence of which they did not seem in good humor when they entered the house, and immediately and impatiently cried out for supper. The table having been set long aim, the t aki r and his folks hastened to bring in the dishes from the bake oven : but what was ihe terror ol the baker, when, accidentlly looking over the various plafes on the table, to see them all full of drowned cokroaches ! The impatience of the soldiers placed all remedies out of the question and consternation got the uppermost of the baker. Frightened out of his wits, he made some pretence for a sudden exit, and told Ins people to flee for their lives, for the Frenchmc n would surely kill theinali when they found out what a mess'was placed before them. The baker himself retreated into a dark corner of his bake-house, through a small aperture, he could observe the movements around the table in the room. But what was hu agreeable sur prise, when he saw them repeatedly stick their forks among the cockroaches on the plate, crack them with delight between their teeth, and call out to one another, 'Ron / Bon ." no doubt supposing them to Ire some delicacy peculiar to ttiat part of the country ! "•When the baker had fully satisfied himself thai the supper was approved of, he ventured back into the room, and with his people went to work to clear away tin* table, to make room for the beds on the floor. After having made the necessary preparations for a good night s rest, and when lie was just leaving the room, one ofthe soldiers kindly tapped him on the shoulder, saying in broken German : 'Land lord to-morrow morning, for i ilejfuner , some more of de little fishes.' "The bake-house being well supplied with the needful aiticle, a number of plates and dish es with attractive bail were set, and sufficient were caught for an ample fricassee for brekfast, which was dispatched with as much relish as Ihe late supper. When the drum beat, no men could have left their quarters belter satisfied than these six, with the good things of lite . SHARP PRACTICE.—The lawyers of Troy are proverbially a sharp set, and the following instance, related bv the Albany Times, does not detract from their reputation. A criminal was on his way to New \ork in chaige of an officer who would not allow hirn an opportunity of seeking bail. In this dilemma, a man "learned in the law" was summoned, who thus accom plished his end. He hired a small boy to go within arm's length of the prisoner, who dealt him a smart blow. Boy ran up to the police office, and soon appeared on the gtound with a constable and an assault and battery wariant. The constable insisted on taking the prisoner to jail on this complaint, and in the meantime bail was procured on the former charge. The j lawyer who designed and executed this manceu \ vre is now i r possess ion of our bat. GOODXKSS ETERNAL ! Ihe pains we spend upon our mortal selves will perish with ourselves: but the tare we ; gj v * out of a good heart to others, the efforts of ; disinterested duty, the deeds and thoughts of pure affection, are never lost ; they liable to waste : and are like a force that propagates ' itself for ever, changing itself, but not losing its | intensity. In short, the-e is a sense in which not/ting human dies ; nothing, at least, which proceeds from the higher and characteristic part of rnan'-s nature ; nothing which he does as a subject of God's moral law. Material struc tures are dissolved, their identity and function are gone, but mind partake? of the eternity of the great parent spirit ; and thoughts, truths, e motions, once given to the world are npver lost; they exist as truly and perform their duty as actively a thousand years after their origin as on their day of biith. t WEBSTER MATCHED EY A WOMAN.—In the somewhat famous case of Mrs. Bodgen's will, which was tried in the Supreme Court some years ago, Mr. Webster appeared as counsellor fir the apf ellant. Mrs. Greenough, wife of Rev. William Gre enough, late of West Newton, a tall, straight, queenly looking woman, with a keen black eye a woman of great self-posses sion and decisi on of character, was called to the stand as a witnessonjthe opposite side from Mr. Webster. Webster,]at a glance, bad the sagaci ty to loersee that h"r testimony, if anything of importance, would have great weight upon* the court and jury. He there fore resolved, if possible, to break her up.— And when she answered to the first question put to her, "I believe," Webster roared out : ' We don't want to hear what you believe we want to hear what vou know." Mrs. ( ireenough replied, "That is just what 1 was about to say sir," and went on with her testimony. And notwithstanding his repeated efforts to disconcert her, she pursued the even tenor of her way, until ( Webster, becoming quite fearful of the result, arose apparently in great agita t ion, and drawing out Ids large snuff box, thrust his thumb and finger to the very bottom, and carrying the deep pinch to his nostrsls, drew it up with a gusto : and then extracting from his pocket very large handkeichief, which flowed to his teet as he brought it to the front, he blew his nose with® report that rang distinct and loud through the crowded hall. -> 1. ,> Mr* n vl_ Mrs. Greenough—"l cannot give you very full information as to that, sir, she had one very dirty trick." Webster "What's that ma'am Mrs. Greenough "She took snuff'" The ioar of the coui t-house was such that the future defender of the-Constitution subsided and neither rose nor spoke again until Nits. Greenough had vacated her chair for another witness—having ample time to reflect upon tile inglorious history of the man who had a stone throw non his head bv a woman. LEGAL TENDER.—Some people are at a loss to know what is a legal tender of money. — Most perons are gieatiy in error in supposing that cents are a legal tender for any amount, and sometimes captious people makp large pay ments in copper coin, which creditors suppose they are obliged to receive—from the fact that it is coined at the mint and bears the impress of the United States upon it. From the follow ing, which is a synopsis of the act of r ongress upon the subject, it will be seen what is and what is not a legal tender. The law regula ting the payment of debts with one coin pro vides that the following eoiu be legal tender : 1. All gold coins at their respective values for debts of any amount. 2. The half dollar, quarter dollar, half dime, at their respective values for debts of any a-- mount under five dollars. 3. Three cent pieces for debts of any amount under thirtv cents ; and, 4. Bv the law passed at the Ifst session of Congress, we may add, one cent pieces for any amount under ten cents. By the law of Congress, passed some four or five years ago, gold was made the legal tender for large amounts. Those who, to get rid of large quant it ies of cents and small coin,somet imps pay their bills witli it, tiol! e annoyance of the creditor, will percene that there is a stoppage to that antic oy the law. AN IRISH REPARTEE. — I LIE Irish mind IS a never failing source of wit. Ihe following is the latest specimen : Patrick is baggage master on the Geor gia Railroad, and always attentive to his busi ness. A few evenings since while at his post, he was accosted by an excited passenger, who in a rude and boisterous manner demanded re peatedly to know the whereabouts of h'is trunk. After several times replying to the interroga tory, he at length lost his patience, and thus put an end to the stianger's troublesome question ing: "Och, mister, I wish in mv soul you were an%lephant instead of a jackass, for you'd have your trunk always under your eye." ANOTHER CHLOROFORM CASE. —Another den tist, a Dr. Webster, ot Montreal, has been con victed of an attempt to commit a rape upon a patient while under the influence of chlorofrm. It is insisted by those who understand the ef fects of chloroform that in most cas-s outrages like these are vagaries of the brain, and exist ouiy in the imagination. If so, why will den tisls run the risks of administering chloroform to patients who are unattended 1 If not, why will females claiming to be respectable subject themselves to the risks which numerous convic tions seem to show result from their taking: chlo roform when not in the presence of third par ties. — Journal of Commerce. WHOLE \( TIBEII ANIL. A GROCERY SKETCH. —Will the reader be kind enough to picture a scene which took place the other day in a grocery. A lean country man entered the establishment having in his hand a small basket of eggs, which he desired to exchange for sundry housekeppeing necessaries. "Want my eggs to-day, Mister ?" "Yes, will take 'em : how many have vou got ?" "Bout three dozen ; how much d'ye give lor eggs V* "Ten cents a dozen." "What ! only ten cents ?" "Y r e S ; that's all we give." "Well, then, all I've got to sav, is, it's a shame." "What's a shame ?" "\Yhy, look-a-be re Mister," and here the countryman patted the eggs affectionately, and viewed* them as though tbey were the Verita ble product of theViant's golden hen—"Why, look-a-here, it you was a hen, wouldn't you ; think it was mighty hard if you had to lay eggs | fjr only ten cents a dozen ?" | HOW TO ASK A YoO.VO L'ATY FOR CoMPAJJT. Our young men will please bear in mind that when they desire a yong lady to take a walk with them that it is impolite to say "Miss, will j you take a promenade this evening ?" Y'ou | must address her thus : "My sweet adorable! r would be exceedingly happy to have the ex quisite pleasure of accompanying you on a balloon excursion this evening. <Pon bono* I would." lo which the following answer will undoubtedly be returned : "Sir, 1 feel honored —your request is granted. Pipase meet me at the garden bars, to assist me in making an ascension over the fence— we don't use the gate an}' mo'—its length, balloon wis*, is not of sufficient capacity to admit the crinoline with out damage ! 'Pon bono' it is not." A CERE FOR LOVE.-— Take on" gr„ii of sens", half a grain of prudence, a drachm of under standing, one ounce of patienoe, a pound of res olution, and a handful of dislike, set them on a slow fire of hatred, strain from the drugs of melancholy, sweeten them with forget fulness, then put thein into the bottle of your heart, stamp down with cork of sound judgement, there let them stand fourteen days in the water of cold affection. I his rightly made, and well applied, was never known to fail. A PAIR OF HFSBANDS.—A country editor u P on the marriage of our life; The husband's a husband and so is the wife." FAST. —The ladies of lowa are decidedly "fast." On the lSth., a race of" ladies, on foot, came off at lowa city, for the prize of a silver basket. The prize was won bv a Miss Han dy- , . - There are some faults which we are pretty sure to overcome at last. VV'h-n Jeremy Taylor applied to take orders in the church, the bishop objected that he was too young.— "if I live, my lord, I shall hope to overcome that fault," said the witty candidate. By the by, that vice is one which most of us are sorry to have lost. It is not at ail certain that we grow either wiser or belter by growing older. Experience has been well likened to the stern lights of a ship, which merely illuminates the path we have passed over, but throws no light ahead. ft"#" An old toper bet he could, when blind folded, tell each of several kinds of liquor.— When brandy, whiskey, gin and other drinks were presented toliim, he pronounced correctly what they were. At length a glass of pure wa ter was given him : he tasted it, paused, tasted it again, considered, and shook his head. He at last saivl —''Gentlemen, I give it up, 1 am not used to the these sort of liquors." are you Count ?" said a noted wag to a spruce looking specimen of the genuine snob. "Sir !" exclaimed the indignant swell, "who are you, and why do you call me Count." "Why, I saw you counting oysters in New York last "spring, and I supposed you were of the royal blood," replied the wag. Snob vamosed. I say, I don't suppose you don't know of nobody who don't want to hire nobody to do nothing, don't you V The answer to this query was pretty mucti of a match 4 Ves, 1 don't.' Dabbs walked into a 'Dry Gro cery' the other day. 'Can we do anything for you?' said Dickey. 'Yes,' said Dabbs; 'but I'll bet a dollar yer won't.' 'Done,' said Dickey. 'What is it ?' 'Credit me with five dollars worth of yer truck.' 'Lost, by thunder !' o!F*The litest style of female hoops is guar anteed "to be of feminine lightness and de licacy, and warranted not to cut the limbs of attendant gentlemen.'' UjF™'"My dear madam," said a doctor to his patient, "I am truly gratified to see you yet in life. At my last visit, you know, 1 said you had but six hours to live." "Yes doctor, you did ) but I did not take the dose you left me ?" question is often discussed whether the savages enjoy life. We suppose they do as they always seem anxious to take it when they get a chance. tCF" Wealth has been under-rated ever tinco wealth was over-rated. VOL 2, NO. 16
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers