VOLI IIE
NEW SERIES.
THE BEDFORD GAZETTE
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POET ft V.
FAREWELL TO SUMMER.
BV WM. 11. .C iIOSMER.
FAREWELL ! thy moon is on the wane,
Thy last bright day is near its close :
On rosy lips that thirst for rain,
Heaven riot a drop bestows :
Tiie cricket, Summer, sounds thy knell,
Queen of the seasons ! fare thee weli.
The flowers that wreathed thy beauteous head
Droop pale and withered on thy brow
The light that made thy morning red
Is dull and misty no.v
Sad voices pipe in woods and dell,
To Summer and her joys farewell.
Gone is-thy belt of rainbow shine,
Starred with the dew drops of the showers,
And kirtle of enchanted green
Embroidered o'er with flowers ;
Thy golden wand of wondrout spell
Is dim and broken now—farewell!
There is a Summer of the heart
That hath its mournful ending here ;
Delights that w armed its core depart
While it grows dull and drear.
And sadder than the funeral bell
Hope whispers to the soul farewell.
i> s a-; s>,
On the 7th July last, at his residence in North
Huntingdon township, Westmoreland County,
Fa., JACOB BYERLY, in the niuety-ninth year
of his age.
The deceased was born in Bedford Fort, in
Miv 1760. Hi tohor, Andrew Byeflv, who
had oeen in Braddock's army, movea w*u.
family—wife and ten children—across the Ai
leghauies in 1762, and built a cabin on the land
now known as Harrison City. This cabin was
the onlv impr vemeiit between Fort Liganier
and Fort Pitt, it was a gloomy period to the
few settlers scattered west ot the mountains. —
The war between England and France for sup
rermey in the New Aor IJ was over, and Can
ada, with all its dependencies, had been surren
dt red to the victoi ious English. But the in
veterate hatred of the Indians on the frontier to
the settlers was not allayed. Poidiac, the great
chief of the Ottawa-,had formed a combination
of all tbe tubes from the mountains to the Mis
sissippi. The forts and stations w ere simulta
neously altacked. "The most terrible border
war known in our history, was raging along the
whole western frontier. Everywhere were
experienced the same horrible cruelties of sav
age warfare, the sudden surprise, the massacre,
the scalping and burning. Everywhere were
ashes of cabins mingled with the charred bon -s
ol" their tenants. Everywhere the ripe harvest
stood without the reapers." Such were the
perils that surrounded tiie family of Jacob By
erly. It is reported that Chapman, at the
mouth of the Big Sewitklv, their nearest n-igh
bor on the south, is killed; Andrew Byerly h-is-
lens to-his cabin. Au Indian friendly to 'he
family, advises the mother to leave at onrc with
her children for Fort Ligonier. The advice is
taken; the lather overtakes them on the toiite
and thev escape with saletv into the lorl, which
;S immediately attacked bv the Indians. 1 rom
the distinct recollection of Jacob Byerlv, as to
tire incidents occurring in the fort during tins
attack, {such as running a nail in iii 3 loot, and
from some data in possession o! his brother*
Michael Byerlv, Esq., who died many year*
ago,) it was generally supposed that his age
was greater than he himself represented.
In 1763, a force under Col. Boquet released
the beleaguer! garrisons of Forts Bedford and j
Ligonier, and marched to the relief of Fort Pitt.
Andrew Byerlv joined the expedition, and was
present at the battle of Bushy Run. The en
gagement continued for two days, and the sava
ges were defeated, Fort Pitt relea-ed, and an
expedition organized by Boquet against the Ohio
Indians, forced them into a treaty of peace.—
Andrew Ryerly returned to his former settle
ment, and built a cabin on the land now owned
bv Peter Htghberger. During the Revolutiona
ry war, the frontiersmen were again summon
ed to defend their homes and firesides against
their old foes—the Indian uarriois inoiled to
hostilities by thebiibes and promises ol English
emissaries. Jacob Byerlv, then a young man,
active and athletic, with an iron constitution,
and of most indomitable courage was early in
the field. He was engaged in a number of
scouting parties; and in that most hazardous of
services, he was always ready to turn out at
the call ol his distressed neighbors. His scout
ing expeditions extended through \V estern V ir
ginia and Pennsylvania, and into Ohio. He
went with a.party to settlers who had
been .killed at Wheeling: went to the relief -of
Fort Lawrence and Wallace's station; was on a 1
scout to Purfxatawnev, and joined in pursuit of
the party who killed the Willards; was On the
•-xpedition against the Tuscaroras in Ohio, and 5
served under Gen. Broadhead in the destruition
of the towns of the Cornplanter Indians. In
this expedition, while following a trail, in com
pany with Jacob Smith and another scout, he
killed an Indian chief in a hand to hand en-
i counter. His regular services were in the 13th
V irginia regiment, two companies of which re
giment formed part of the garrison at Port Pitt.
He belonged par£ of the tune to a company
commanded by Captain (afterward General)
O Hara. ol whom he always spoke in the high
est terms. He was the last of the Revolu
tionary soldiers in (his country who drew a
pension from the General Government. After
the Revolutionary war, the deceased married
Elizabeth Harman, and raised a family of
twelve children, only four of whom survive
him.
Mr. Byerly always enjoyed the respect and
confidence of all who knew him. He was a
man of the purest character, and his integrity
was proverbial. He eve r felt a warm interest
in tlie progress and prosperity of his country,
and in th* administration of national a.Tairs.—
He voted at every general election, fro n the
adoption ot the Constitution until his death.
At the foundation of parlies, he attached him
self to the Democratic parly, and he remained
zealously and actively devoted to the support
of the principles of his early political faith.—
Having a personal knowledge of the transport
of joy which thrill the hearts of his country
men, when their independence was established,
and the L niun of the States was firmed, he al-,
ways viewed with distrust and alarm every
movement which had a tendency to alienate ,
one section oi the L niori from the other, and to :
destroy those iraternal feelings which prevailed
dining the Revoluti >n. lie spoke of these
things a few days before his death. Honest
and upright in all his dealings, enjoying the
respect and friendship of his neighbors, easy in
his circumstances, happv in the well doing of
his children, surrounded by every thing that
can render lite desirable, the venerable patri
arch was permitted to live long beyond the per
iod of life usually allotted to man :* and alter a
stormy youth, to pass the evening of his days
in tranquillity and ease. He lived to see the
blood thirsty savpges, the tenants of the firest,
disappearing before the advancing step? of the
white man; the unbroken wilderness trans- '
formed into highly cultivated farms: hardship'
and perils of frontier lite, exchanged for the com
forts and Juxuiies of the present day. He saw
his countrymen who in his youth barely main
tained a precarious foothold West of tire- Alle
ghenies, declaring the right to b- an
dent people, maintaining that declaration j
against the most powerful ot modern empires,
and establishing a form of Government, the ad
vantage and the hope of mankind. He saw :
th m spreading themselves over the the valleys
r ,r. , u , . , , , .. J
selves in vigorous communities on the shores of
the Pacific; their prosress in the arts and sci
ences. in commerce, agriculture, ami manufac
turing skill, keeping pace with the spread ot
population, their flag respected in every quar
ter of the globe: their might and prowess so re
c ionized, that for them, a world in arms has no
terrors. He had the satisfaction of feeling,
tfiat he too had contributed in his humble
sphere of life his full share of these results; in •'
war,serving his country, and in peace, an in
dustnous law abiding citizen. During the hist
illnessf>t the deceased, the Rev. Mr. McGau
ghey.of the Presbyterian Church, was his spiri
tual adviser.
He met his last enemy with tranquility; in
peace with mankind, and in a blessed hope of
a life beyond the grave. I * lit 11 prevented by
tiie infirmities ol age, Mr. Byerly hail regular
ly worshipped at the Lutheian and Geiman
Reformed Church at Adamsburg. In his
younger days, often with rifle in hand he had
attended Divine worship there. There in 1826
he had buried Ins wife, m the 66th year ol h-T
age. There were the graves of his children,
and tin-re the mortal remains of the old patii
arch and soldier now repose.
The citizenis ol Adair sburg paid the last
tiihute of respect to the Honored Dead, by fi
ring a salute of cai non over his giave.
CURIAH 11. /. \IS.
The slaughter of the pokers begins this
month on a!! well regulated farms, from Aroos
took, to the farthest West and South to Mason
and Dixon's line, and only a little later tur
ther South we see the sleek beauties suspended
MB the gambrels, their open mouths biting the
'Voin which they shelled corn while liv
ing. The hams and shoulders, destined for ba
con, ate liable to be spoiled in two ways—by
too much salt and too little. Not one ham i;i 1
1 ten offered in the market is properly cured for
human food. Many persons put the hams in
with the other pork, and spoil them. Many of
the recipts offered are too indefinite to be ot
and service. The following cures bacon fit for
a king, or bis eldest daughter.
For ann hundred pounds of ham lake salt'
ten pounds—Turks Island is the best—six oun
ces of saltpetre, and two pounds of brown suga'.
Mix the ingredients'as evenly as possible and j
rub them upon the flesh side of the hams and
shoulder. Pack the hams in a clean cask, skin
side downward. Put a stone and hoard on top of
the hams and rill up with clean cold water so as
to cover them. In a few days all will bedisol
ved and form a pickle just right. But the salt
in the solution is continually sinking to the
bottom. Therefore, either change the pickle
pouring it out and pouring it back again—or if
the barrel is but partly filled, roll it around a
few times so as to stir the contents thoroughly,
as often as Once a week. The negtect of stir
' ring the pickle, after it is made, spoils many a
; barrel of hams. Tn six weeks they will be cu
red just right. Smoke them ten days, to two
; weeks, in a COQI smoke house. Put tin m in
, tight cloth wrappers, whitewash the wrappers,
artd'lhey Wifl keep for years. This is our fam
ily" ft*c)pe, fised for*fourteen years, and always
1 mates' 'quarters oFham, that keeps the belter
half in constant good humor at meal time.
CHARLESTON, NOV. B. The deaths from yel
low fever during the past week were 12.
BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 19,1858.
' TRAITS OF INDIAN CHARACTER.
BY" CAPTAIN JOHN S. FORD.
Among the Comanches war parties are frnn
eJ by volunteeis. la many instances the com
mander has only temporary authority, which
ceases with the campaign; in others, an ac
knowledged chief takes the lead. It is not un
usual for a party to remain absent, while opera
ting in Mexico, for the space of twelve months.
A young warrior will make anv sort ot sacri
fice to equip and mount himself for an expedi
tion. The officer second in command always
places himself at the heal of the column the
superior otiicer is in the extreme rear, superin
tends movements, rectifies errors, and is presu
med to be in a position to have everything un
der his immediate inspection. A front guard
usually ['recedes the main bodv f'orn a quarter
of a mile to two miles in advance. They kej-p
a strict look-out—ride to the lop of em mences
—scan the surrounding country in every direc
tion. When an enemy is supposed to be near, I
they approach the apex of a hil! with very gieat j
caution. They will crawl on the ground, car- j
rying before their faces a bunch ot green bran- |
dies ofgrass, to pievent suspicion, if discovered, |
Unless to one well acquainted with Indian ion- j
trivances, the disappearance or moving of a ;
bunch of leaves would be attributed to Hie a- ;
gency of the win i.
i Discoveries made bv the vanguard arp spee
dily communicated to the oftieer in command.
There is a rear guard, whose duty it is to pre
, vent surprise from that direction. Flankers
are often thrown out. When a large body is
moving, upon approximating a point of danger,
pickets are sent ont in every direction, which
operate on a more extended scale than the a
buve mentioned guards.
There is a place of rendezvous appointed at
which everything in relation to the expedition
is concluded upon. For instance, if a forav
upon the country adjacent to Laredo is contem
plated, time, manner ami second place to ren
dezvous, are arranged. Formerly they used to
make'the Raices the point where they formed
their eamp preparatory to active operations.— j
From here they would send out scouts, to as
certain the condition of the country the pres- !
ence of tioops—upon the information thus ac
quired they would act. Sometimesthew would |
move down in a body, fall upon the ranches j
boldly in the day time—kill, plunder, and car- !
rv off women and children prisoners: at others. I
when secure from danger, they would divide!
into two squads, and make a simultaneous de
made prisoners,"collected nbrs<*s
tv, they would, if unpursued, move for the !
Raices, and remain in camp several days, re- j
cruiting,animals, feasting and preparing for ai
quick march to their own camp. If another j
party should be still behind, they leave signs ;
designating all they may wish them to know.
A small branch, supported by a little heap of :
rocks, is inclined in the direction they will j
move. The grass is removed from the earth, I
a line drawn, a mirnbr of marks made on each
side, to represent the numoer of men and horses I
in the party. They have a species ol hiero- ;
glyphic and symbolic characters they use iri j
conveying ideas. When they wish to inform |
their friends of the death of a warrior, it is
done by drawing an Indian without a head.— j
if wounded only, the figure is completed with j
a stieak of red at the part wounded. Upon aj
tree on the .Nueces, some thirty or foity miles !
above the Laredo and San Antonio crossing, at j
a place known as I lie Comanche crossing, are a |
number of th< se symbolical representations.— !
One of them is descriptive of a combat between
a Comanche with a lance and a Mexican with ,
a sword. The sword is miserably deficient in j
length. The rough painting conveys a rather :
ludicrous id-a of the matter, evincing very i
clearly ttie contempt in which the Indians hold
Mexican prowess, and the almost inevitable
conclusion that the light resulted in the Don's
overthrow and death.
The full of the moon is the time they are
usually looked fur. The rays of this luminary
afford them the means of discovering animals,
and of traveling during the night. In the event
of being pin sued, immediately after the perpe
tration of depredations, the Comanches move
day and night, very often not breaking a gal
lop, except to change horses, which they do
sex ei a I times, and to water the c<ib<illado x until
they deem themselvps sale. Coder these cir- \
cutnstances they will travpl at least seventy
miles per day, which is a long distance, with
the encumbrance of loose animals.
A party of warriors, dressed in their trap
. pings—embellshed shields—fancy moccasins—
long pigtails bedecked with silver—shoulder
belts worked with beads, and adorned wilh shells !
—line leggms—ornamented cases for bows and I
arrows mounted upon spirited horses—singing j
I a war song, and sweeping over a prairie; is a ,
beautiful spectacle to a man with plenty of brave
fellows to back him. Their motions are easy
and graceful. They sit a horse admirably and
manage one with a master hand. Charge them
and they will retreat trom you with double
your numbers, but beware ; keep your men to
gether—well in hand —with at least hall their
arms loaded, or else you will find when it is too
late, a flying Comanche well knows the nick
of lime to turn upon and charge his pursuer to
the very teeth. A Comanche can draw a bow
when on horseback—standing or runmg—with
remarkable strength and accuracy. They have
been known lo kill horses, when at full speed
over one hundred yards.
In the commencement of a fight, the yell ot
defiance is borne to you long, loud and startling.
The war whoop has no romance in it. It
thrills even a stout heart with an indescribable
sensation. The excitement of battle is quite as
pvident among these people as others. Let the
tide turn against them—send leaden messengers
through some of their warriors, and then the
mornful wail is heard —its lugubrious tones are
Freedom of Thought and Opinion,
j borne back to you with uncouth cadence, be
j tokening sorrow, anger and a determination to
: revnge
-1 > -ii
i ever ride between a bowman's left ; if vou
do, k>n to one he will pop an arrow through
you When mounted, an Indian cannot use
his low kgainstjan object behind and to his right.
Ihe dead are usually bornt from the field*.—
Nothing but the most imminent danger prevents
then' from performing the incumbent dutv of
i aot living the body of a comrade in the hands
lof an enemy. Over a fallen chief they will
j mate i desparate stand. Their caution seems
! "Tged in the d termination to risk every
: thing tcbear him from the field. They will
fight ftricusly, bravely, and even hopelessly,
to a.tail this object. If th u y abandon him it is
in despair. I light is no longer methodical
an.l menacing to the pursuer. Retreat degene
rate into rout. After this, they have seldom,
il e/er, been known to resume the offensive.—
I hty will bide themselves in the first chapparal
j afi'oifing security against discovery, remain du
i ring the day, visit the dead at night, and it not
■ able to remove them, will spread blankets or
j some covering over them.
i lit bow is placed diagonally in shooting—a i
! m,fT) bei of arrows are held in the right hand— |
| the bow operates as a rest to the arrows. The !■
. distance, the curve the missile has to describe
j it) reiching tlie object, and in fact, everything
| connected with their archery is determined by '
! the eyr> without taking aim. Arrows are sped
alter each other in rapid succession. At the 1
distance of sixty yards and over they can be I
if but < ne Indian shoots at you at the 1
same moment—under forty, the six-shooter has I
iittle advantage over the bow. At long dis
tances the angle of elevation is considerable.—
It requires a quick eye to see the arrow, and
judge the whereabouts ot its descent—a go id
iid<r withal, to keep the saddle. A man is re
quired to keep both eyes engaged in an Indian
figbt.
Prisoners are treated wit ii extreme cruelty
bv the Comai.ch s. They aie beaten, starved,
made slavesof and subjected to manv tortming
indignities. I his rigor is relaxed when a man
or youth evinces a desire to become one of the
tribe. The man is suffered to marrv, and the
boy is educated to become au Indian in habits.
An adroit rogue is held in great esteem.
THE FRE.XCHMA.X A XD THE COCK
ROACHES.
TheVTovemfwr number of that excellent pe
riodicf-, the -Knickerbocker,' contains the fol
low im' • • l .
* * "IA few days after the oattle of Jena a French
regiment was announced to arrive iu the after
noon, but, from some cause or other, did not
make its appearance til! late in the evening.—
According to custom, they were then billeted
out among the citizens, and a baker in our
neigborhuod rec-ived six fur his sharp. The
dinner had been prepared early in the afternoon,
and the troops not arriving at the expected time,
the viands were placed in the bake-oven to be
kept warm. At last alter the lapse ol four or
five hours over the expected iiine, they arrived,
very much fatigued by an unusually long day's
march, in consequence of which they did not
seem in good humor when they entered the
house, and immediately and impatiently cried
out for supper. The table having been set long
aim, the t aki r and his folks hastened to bring
in the dishes from the bake oven : but what
was ihe terror ol the baker, when, accidentlly
looking over the various plafes on the table, to
see them all full of drowned cokroaches ! The
impatience of the soldiers placed all remedies
out of the question and consternation got the
uppermost of the baker. Frightened out of his
wits, he made some pretence for a sudden exit,
and told Ins people to flee for their lives, for the
Frenchmc n would surely kill theinali when they
found out what a mess'was placed before them.
The baker himself retreated into a dark corner
of his bake-house, through a small aperture, he
could observe the movements around the table
in the room. But what was hu agreeable sur
prise, when he saw them repeatedly stick their
forks among the cockroaches on the plate, crack
them with delight between their teeth, and call
out to one another, 'Ron / Bon ." no doubt
supposing them to Ire some delicacy peculiar
to ttiat part of the country !
"•When the baker had fully satisfied himself
thai the supper was approved of, he ventured
back into the room, and with his people went
to work to clear away tin* table, to make room
for the beds on the floor. After having made
the necessary preparations for a good night s
rest, and when lie was just leaving the room,
one ofthe soldiers kindly tapped him on the
shoulder, saying in broken German : 'Land
lord to-morrow morning, for i ilejfuner , some
more of de little fishes.'
"The bake-house being well supplied with
the needful aiticle, a number of plates and dish
es with attractive bail were set, and sufficient
were caught for an ample fricassee for brekfast,
which was dispatched with as much relish as
Ihe late supper. When the drum beat, no men
could have left their quarters belter satisfied
than these six, with the good things of lite .
SHARP PRACTICE.—The lawyers of Troy
are proverbially a sharp set, and the following
instance, related bv the Albany Times, does not
detract from their reputation. A criminal was
on his way to New \ork in chaige of an officer
who would not allow hirn an opportunity of
seeking bail. In this dilemma, a man "learned
in the law" was summoned, who thus accom
plished his end. He hired a small boy to go
within arm's length of the prisoner, who dealt
him a smart blow. Boy ran up to the police
office, and soon appeared on the gtound with a
constable and an assault and battery wariant.
The constable insisted on taking the prisoner
to jail on this complaint, and in the meantime
bail was procured on the former charge. The
j lawyer who designed and executed this manceu
\ vre is now i r possess ion of our bat.
GOODXKSS ETERNAL
! Ihe pains we spend upon our mortal selves
will perish with ourselves: but the tare we
; gj v * out of a good heart to others, the efforts of
; disinterested duty, the deeds and thoughts of
pure affection, are never lost ; they liable
to waste : and are like a force that propagates
' itself for ever, changing itself, but not losing its
| intensity. In short, the-e is a sense in which
not/ting human dies ; nothing, at least, which
proceeds from the higher and characteristic
part of rnan'-s nature ; nothing which he does as
a subject of God's moral law. Material struc
tures are dissolved, their identity and function
are gone, but mind partake? of the eternity of
the great parent spirit ; and thoughts, truths, e
motions, once given to the world are npver lost;
they exist as truly and perform their duty as
actively a thousand years after their origin as
on their day of biith.
t
WEBSTER MATCHED EY A WOMAN.—In the
somewhat famous case of Mrs. Bodgen's will,
which was tried in the Supreme Court some
years ago, Mr. Webster appeared as counsellor
fir the apf ellant. Mrs. Greenough, wife of Rev.
William Gre enough, late of West Newton, a
tall, straight, queenly looking woman, with a
keen black eye a woman of great self-posses
sion and decisi on of character, was called to the
stand as a witnessonjthe opposite side from Mr.
Webster. Webster,]at a glance, bad the sagaci
ty to loersee that h"r testimony, if
anything of importance, would have great
weight upon* the court and jury. He there
fore resolved, if possible, to break her up.—
And when she answered to the first question
put to her, "I believe," Webster roared
out :
' We don't want to hear what you believe
we want to hear what vou know."
Mrs. ( ireenough replied, "That is just what
1 was about to say sir," and went on with her
testimony.
And notwithstanding his repeated efforts to
disconcert her, she pursued the even tenor of
her way, until ( Webster, becoming quite fearful
of the result, arose apparently in great agita
t ion, and drawing out Ids large snuff box, thrust
his thumb and finger to the very bottom, and
carrying the deep pinch to his nostrsls, drew it
up with a gusto : and then extracting from his
pocket very large handkeichief, which flowed to
his teet as he brought it to the front, he blew
his nose with® report that rang distinct and loud
through the crowded hall.
-> 1. ,> Mr* n vl_
Mrs. Greenough—"l cannot give you very
full information as to that, sir, she had one very
dirty trick."
Webster "What's that ma'am
Mrs. Greenough "She took snuff'"
The ioar of the coui t-house was such that
the future defender of the-Constitution subsided
and neither rose nor spoke again until Nits.
Greenough had vacated her chair for another
witness—having ample time to reflect upon tile
inglorious history of the man who had a stone
throw non his head bv a woman.
LEGAL TENDER.—Some people are at a loss
to know what is a legal tender of money. —
Most perons are gieatiy in error in supposing
that cents are a legal tender for any amount,
and sometimes captious people makp large pay
ments in copper coin, which creditors suppose
they are obliged to receive—from the fact that
it is coined at the mint and bears the impress of
the United States upon it. From the follow
ing, which is a synopsis of the act of r ongress
upon the subject, it will be seen what is and
what is not a legal tender. The law regula
ting the payment of debts with one coin pro
vides that the following eoiu be legal tender :
1. All gold coins at their respective values
for debts of any amount.
2. The half dollar, quarter dollar, half dime,
at their respective values for debts of any a--
mount under five dollars.
3. Three cent pieces for debts of any amount
under thirtv cents ; and,
4. Bv the law passed at the Ifst session of
Congress, we may add, one cent pieces for any
amount under ten cents.
By the law of Congress, passed some four or
five years ago, gold was made the legal tender
for large amounts. Those who, to get rid of
large quant it ies of cents and small coin,somet imps
pay their bills witli it, tiol! e annoyance of the
creditor, will percene that there is a stoppage
to that antic oy the law.
AN IRISH REPARTEE. — I LIE Irish mind IS a
never failing source of wit. Ihe following is
the latest specimen :
Patrick is baggage master on the Geor
gia Railroad, and always attentive to his busi
ness. A few evenings since while at his post,
he was accosted by an excited passenger, who
in a rude and boisterous manner demanded re
peatedly to know the whereabouts of h'is trunk.
After several times replying to the interroga
tory, he at length lost his patience, and thus put
an end to the stianger's troublesome question
ing: "Och, mister, I wish in mv soul you were
an%lephant instead of a jackass, for you'd
have your trunk always under your eye."
ANOTHER CHLOROFORM CASE. —Another den
tist, a Dr. Webster, ot Montreal, has been con
victed of an attempt to commit a rape upon a
patient while under the influence of chlorofrm.
It is insisted by those who understand the ef
fects of chloroform that in most cas-s outrages
like these are vagaries of the brain, and exist
ouiy in the imagination. If so, why will den
tisls run the risks of administering chloroform
to patients who are unattended 1 If not, why
will females claiming to be respectable subject
themselves to the risks which numerous convic
tions seem to show result from their taking: chlo
roform when not in the presence of third par
ties. — Journal of Commerce.
WHOLE \( TIBEII ANIL.
A GROCERY SKETCH. —Will the reader be
kind enough to picture a scene which took place
the other day in a grocery. A lean country
man entered the establishment having in his
hand a small basket of eggs, which he desired to
exchange for sundry housekeppeing necessaries.
"Want my eggs to-day, Mister ?"
"Yes, will take 'em : how many have vou
got ?"
"Bout three dozen ; how much d'ye give
lor eggs V*
"Ten cents a dozen."
"What ! only ten cents ?"
"Y r e S ; that's all we give."
"Well, then, all I've got to sav, is, it's a
shame."
"What's a shame ?"
"\Yhy, look-a-be re Mister," and here the
countryman patted the eggs affectionately, and
viewed* them as though tbey were the Verita
ble product of theViant's golden hen—"Why,
look-a-here, it you was a hen, wouldn't you
; think it was mighty hard if you had to lay eggs
| fjr only ten cents a dozen ?"
| HOW TO ASK A YoO.VO L'ATY FOR CoMPAJJT.
Our young men will please bear in mind that
when they desire a yong lady to take a walk
with them that it is impolite to say "Miss, will
j you take a promenade this evening ?" Y'ou
| must address her thus : "My sweet adorable!
r would be exceedingly happy to have the ex
quisite pleasure of accompanying you on a
balloon excursion this evening. <Pon bono* I
would." lo which the following answer will
undoubtedly be returned : "Sir, 1 feel honored
—your request is granted. Pipase meet me at
the garden bars, to assist me in making an
ascension over the fence— we don't use the
gate an}' mo'—its length, balloon wis*, is not of
sufficient capacity to admit the crinoline with
out damage ! 'Pon bono' it is not."
A CERE FOR LOVE.-— Take on" gr„ii of sens",
half a grain of prudence, a drachm of under
standing, one ounce of patienoe, a pound of res
olution, and a handful of dislike, set them on
a slow fire of hatred, strain from the drugs of
melancholy, sweeten them with forget fulness,
then put thein into the bottle of your heart,
stamp down with cork of sound judgement,
there let them stand fourteen days in the water
of cold affection.
I his rightly made, and well applied, was
never known to fail.
A PAIR OF HFSBANDS.—A country editor
u P on the marriage of
our life;
The husband's a husband and so is the wife."
FAST. —The ladies of lowa are decidedly
"fast." On the lSth., a race of" ladies, on foot,
came off at lowa city, for the prize of a silver
basket. The prize was won bv a Miss Han
dy- , . -
There are some faults which we are
pretty sure to overcome at last. VV'h-n Jeremy
Taylor applied to take orders in the church,
the bishop objected that he was too young.—
"if I live, my lord, I shall hope to overcome
that fault," said the witty candidate. By the
by, that vice is one which most of us are sorry
to have lost. It is not at ail certain that we
grow either wiser or belter by growing older.
Experience has been well likened to the stern
lights of a ship, which merely illuminates the
path we have passed over, but throws no light
ahead.
ft"#" An old toper bet he could, when blind
folded, tell each of several kinds of liquor.—
When brandy, whiskey, gin and other drinks
were presented toliim, he pronounced correctly
what they were. At length a glass of pure wa
ter was given him : he tasted it, paused, tasted
it again, considered, and shook his head. He
at last saivl —''Gentlemen, I give it up, 1 am not
used to the these sort of liquors."
are you Count ?" said a noted wag
to a spruce looking specimen of the genuine
snob.
"Sir !" exclaimed the indignant swell, "who
are you, and why do you call me Count."
"Why, I saw you counting oysters in New
York last "spring, and I supposed you were of
the royal blood," replied the wag.
Snob vamosed.
I say, I don't suppose you don't
know of nobody who don't want to hire nobody
to do nothing, don't you V
The answer to this query was pretty mucti
of a match
4 Ves, 1 don't.'
Dabbs walked into a 'Dry Gro
cery' the other day. 'Can we do anything for
you?' said Dickey.
'Yes,' said Dabbs; 'but I'll bet a dollar yer
won't.'
'Done,' said Dickey. 'What is it ?'
'Credit me with five dollars worth of yer
truck.'
'Lost, by thunder !'
o!F*The litest style of female hoops is guar
anteed "to be of feminine lightness and de
licacy, and warranted not to cut the limbs of
attendant gentlemen.''
UjF™'"My dear madam," said a doctor to his
patient, "I am truly gratified to see you yet in
life. At my last visit, you know, 1 said you
had but six hours to live." "Yes doctor, you
did ) but I did not take the dose you left me ?"
question is often discussed whether
the savages enjoy life. We suppose they do as
they always seem anxious to take it when they
get a chance.
tCF" Wealth has been under-rated ever tinco
wealth was over-rated.
VOL 2, NO. 16