£
30
Notes To Dad
by
° Cheryl Miller
Perry Co.
0 Extension Agent
Conflict, the mere mention of
the word strikes fear in the heart
of humankind. Yet, conflict is an
inevitable part of every day liv
ing, especially in close relation
ships such as we find in families.
We are all members of a fami
ly, it may be adult-child, adult
parent, parent-child or sibling-si
bling. However the family is or
ganized there will be inevitable
disagreement. Conflict is not
something negative that is to be
avoided, but something that
should be accepted as a natural
part of everyday life and essen
tial to productive growth and
change, providing it is resolved
in a constructive manner.
Conflict is defined as the prod
uct or outcome generated when
two or more people differ in
terms of expectations, desires,
and opinions. It can vary from a
mild disagreement to the ex
treme of physical and/or emo
tional abuse.
Here is an example of a mild
form of conflict that my friend
shared with me the other day:
Dale’s (a pseudonym) son was
ready to leave for school. As he
was going out the door, his father
noticed he was wearing a pair of
jeans with holes in the knees find
the hems frayed and tom, a tee
shirt, over which he was wearing
his father’s flannel shirt that
hung to his knees.
Dale feels very strongly that
dress influences the behavior of
the individual. Therefore, he
didn’t want his son dressing for
school as if he were going out to
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clean the bam. He confronted his
son on his choice of clothing.
You guessed it; his son expressed
his difference of opinion.
“What difference does it make
what I wear to school. Everyone
dresses like this. I’m old enough
to wear what I want to.”
This is a good example of a
typical conflict within a family;
however, the degree to which this
conflict escalates is dependent
upon how skillful my friend is in
managing the situation. Dale is a
savvy Dad, he chose to deal with
the conflict in a constructive
manner. They both agreed to dis
cuss the dress code when his son
came home from school with the
outcome being a negotiated com
promise.
My friend’s first response
could have been saying, “Young
man you’re not leaving this
house until you’ve changed your
clothes,” which would have esca
lated the conflict. His son would
have refused to change, leading
to yelling, name-calling and the
ultimate parental control effort
of grounding. Thus, mining the
day for both Father and Son.
It is helpful to think of conflict
as a circle. It has a beginning, but
if not stopped it has no end, it
keeps going around. In the previ
ous example, the school attire
was the trigger around which Fa
ther and son had a difference of
opinion or conflict. Dale con
fronted Jordon (a pseudonym),
his son about his choice of cloth
ing.
Jordon’s reaction was an argu-
EMLENTON (Clarion Co.)
Many people have already
caught on to the trend of drink
ing flavored milk for a great tast
ing beverage and a more colorful
mustache. Now, hip lip coloring
can be seen on The Powerpuff
Girls 1 ' 1 , Dewey of “Malcolm in
the Middle” and Spongeßob
mentative remark. At this point,
Dale has subconsciously had a
choice to make.
He can evoke an immediate
emotional reaction by saying,
“You’re not leaving this house
wearing those clothes!” That
choice will accelerate the conflict.
His other choice is to control his
emotions and not show that he
was hurt and angered by Jor
don’s remark, which will inter
rupt the conflict cycle.
Dale chose to be a responsible
adult controlling his emotions.
He made an appointment with
Jordon to talk to him that eve
ning about appropriate school at
tire. By keeping Ids tone light, his
son would not dread the talk that
night, when they would discuss
the clothing situation.
Rather than becoming discour
aged and frustrated, Dale is get
ting away from the problem and
by agreeing on a designated time
to reopen the discussion with his
son. The time away from the in
tense and immediate emotions of
the conflict allows time for relax
ation and reflection; this break
will enable both Dale and Jordon
to gain new insight and perspec
tive about the issue. The discus
sion can be reopened with more
creative alternatives in mind.
A wise parent realizes conflict
is inevitable and will utilize skills
to manage it to an agreeable out
come. An equally important les
son in resolving conflict is to
manage emotions. Both are crit
ical in stopping the cycle of con
flict.
243 Miller Road
Akron, PA 17501
(717) 733-0353
6:30 AM - 3:30 PM
(717) 859-2074
After 6:00 PM
Newest Milk Stars En
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Square Pants in several new got
milk?
Milk Mustache ads launching
this spring is an effort to show
kids that milk is a lot “cooler”
than they may think.
Why Flavored Milk?
Kids too often reach for a can
of soda or juice drinks instead of
milk. This could be the reason 90
percent of teen-age girls (ages
12-19), 70 percent of preteen girls
(ages 6-11) and teen-age boys
(ages 12-19) and 60 percent of
preteen boys (ages 6-11) do not
meet their daily calcium recom
mendations. Experts are troubled
by this statistic because a diet
that is calcium deficient may
help lead to stress fractures now
and osteoporosis later in life.
Fortunately, fun milk flavors like
chocolate, banana and strawber
ry offer kids great taste plus a
package of nutrients all in one.
Drinking at least three glasses of
milk a day makes it easy for kids
to get the bone-building calcium
and other nutrients their growing
bodies need.
“Chocolate milk has always
been a favorite among kids, and
the dairy aisle now offers even
more kid-friendly flavors like
strawberry and banana. Because
flavored milk has the same es
sential nutrients as regular milk
and about half the added sugar
found in regular soda and most
juice drinks, parents can defi
nitely feel good about stocking
up on these nutritious new bever
ages,” said Cindy Weimer,
spokesperson for the Pennsylva
nia Dairy Promotion Program.
Power Up With Milk
When Cartoon Network’s The
Powerpuff Girls aren’t fighting
off the bad guys, they power up
with milk to grow strong and
healthy bones. Their new milk
mustache print ad shows Bub
bles, Blossom and Buttercup
sporting the latest in milk mus
tache fashion banana, choco
late and strawberry-flavors. The
20
Lkrica^tfeV-f^inftfri^, 1 -b^
courage
Flavors
ad launched March 13 in Cosmo
Girl and copy reads: “Banana,
Chocolate and Strawberry milks
are tasty and yummy with vita
mins and minerals to help you
play hard. Once again, the day is
saved.”
Another “Malcolm in the Mid
dle” Milk Fan
Erik Per Sullivan, Dewey of
“Malcolm in the Middle,” looks
up to big brother Malcolm who
recently appeared in a milk mus
tache ad. And, like most little
brothers, Dewey had to have
what big brother’s having...milk!
This month Dewey appears in
his own milk mustache ad sport
ing a chocolate flavored mus
tache. He wants moms to tell
their kids chocolate milk is better
for them than soda because milk
includes nine essential nutrients
growing bodies need. Dewey’s ad
debuted March 19 in USA Today
and Time Magazine with copy
that reads: “They’ll drink it Lf
they know what’s good for them.
Chocolate milk has the same
nine essential nutrients as regu
lar milk and is a more nutritious
treat than soft drinks. Tell your
kids. They’re all ears.”
Spongeßob’s Got the Secret to
Soaking Up Milk’s Nutrients
Nickelodeon’s Spongeßob
Square Pants is “soaking up” the
health benefits of chocolate milk
as the latest celebrity to don a
milk mustache in the popular got
milk?®/Milk Mustache cam
paign. Spongeßob and his starf
ish friend, Patrick, remind kids
how fun it is to drink on choco
late milk mustaches in a new
television commercial and print
ad. The print ad debuted in
March issues of Sports Illustrat
ed for Kids, Disney Adventures
and Nickelodeon magazines with
the ad copy. “Milk Mustaches
don’t last long when you’re a
sponge. Which means I may
have to drink another glass of
yummy chocolate milk. Or two.
Or three. Or four.”
ome Canning
Program
BEAVER (Beaver Co.) In recent
years, canning has reemerged as a popular
way to preserve food. While it is an excel
lent way to enjoy your favorite foods
throughout the entire year, safe canning
methods are important and necessary to
protect your family and friends from con
tracting a foodbome
illness.
Penn State Cooper
ative Extension will be
conducting Blue Rib
bon Basics for Can
ners, a program pro
viding tips to
successfully can foods
and enhance chances
of winning the blue
ribbon at your local
fair. This session will
provide safety inform
ation and judging cri
teria for home-canned
fruits, vegetables,
meats, and pickled
products.
The program will be
conducted on Apr. 10
at Penn State Beaver
in Monaca from 6:30
p.m.-8 p.m. To regis
ter, call (724)
774-3003.