£ 30 Notes To Dad by ° Cheryl Miller Perry Co. 0 Extension Agent Conflict, the mere mention of the word strikes fear in the heart of humankind. Yet, conflict is an inevitable part of every day liv ing, especially in close relation ships such as we find in families. We are all members of a fami ly, it may be adult-child, adult parent, parent-child or sibling-si bling. However the family is or ganized there will be inevitable disagreement. Conflict is not something negative that is to be avoided, but something that should be accepted as a natural part of everyday life and essen tial to productive growth and change, providing it is resolved in a constructive manner. Conflict is defined as the prod uct or outcome generated when two or more people differ in terms of expectations, desires, and opinions. It can vary from a mild disagreement to the ex treme of physical and/or emo tional abuse. Here is an example of a mild form of conflict that my friend shared with me the other day: Dale’s (a pseudonym) son was ready to leave for school. As he was going out the door, his father noticed he was wearing a pair of jeans with holes in the knees find the hems frayed and tom, a tee shirt, over which he was wearing his father’s flannel shirt that hung to his knees. Dale feels very strongly that dress influences the behavior of the individual. Therefore, he didn’t want his son dressing for school as if he were going out to CONSTRU ■ Poured Solid Concrete Si ■ The Wall is only as Good • Manure Pit Walls • Hog House Walls • Chicken House Walls ■ Concrete Decks • House Foundation Walls • Cistern Walls ■ Barnyard Walls • Concrete Pit Tops • Silage Pit Walls • Retaining Walls All sizes available - round or rectangular Take thequestions out- of your new construction. Celt Balmer Bros. Iter quality engineered walls. Balmer Bros. CONCRETE WORK, INC. Invest in Quality - It will last a lifetime, clean the bam. He confronted his son on his choice of clothing. You guessed it; his son expressed his difference of opinion. “What difference does it make what I wear to school. Everyone dresses like this. I’m old enough to wear what I want to.” This is a good example of a typical conflict within a family; however, the degree to which this conflict escalates is dependent upon how skillful my friend is in managing the situation. Dale is a savvy Dad, he chose to deal with the conflict in a constructive manner. They both agreed to dis cuss the dress code when his son came home from school with the outcome being a negotiated com promise. My friend’s first response could have been saying, “Young man you’re not leaving this house until you’ve changed your clothes,” which would have esca lated the conflict. His son would have refused to change, leading to yelling, name-calling and the ultimate parental control effort of grounding. Thus, mining the day for both Father and Son. It is helpful to think of conflict as a circle. It has a beginning, but if not stopped it has no end, it keeps going around. In the previ ous example, the school attire was the trigger around which Fa ther and son had a difference of opinion or conflict. Dale con fronted Jordon (a pseudonym), his son about his choice of cloth ing. Jordon’s reaction was an argu- EMLENTON (Clarion Co.) Many people have already caught on to the trend of drink ing flavored milk for a great tast ing beverage and a more colorful mustache. Now, hip lip coloring can be seen on The Powerpuff Girls 1 ' 1 , Dewey of “Malcolm in the Middle” and Spongeßob mentative remark. At this point, Dale has subconsciously had a choice to make. He can evoke an immediate emotional reaction by saying, “You’re not leaving this house wearing those clothes!” That choice will accelerate the conflict. His other choice is to control his emotions and not show that he was hurt and angered by Jor don’s remark, which will inter rupt the conflict cycle. Dale chose to be a responsible adult controlling his emotions. He made an appointment with Jordon to talk to him that eve ning about appropriate school at tire. By keeping Ids tone light, his son would not dread the talk that night, when they would discuss the clothing situation. Rather than becoming discour aged and frustrated, Dale is get ting away from the problem and by agreeing on a designated time to reopen the discussion with his son. The time away from the in tense and immediate emotions of the conflict allows time for relax ation and reflection; this break will enable both Dale and Jordon to gain new insight and perspec tive about the issue. The discus sion can be reopened with more creative alternatives in mind. A wise parent realizes conflict is inevitable and will utilize skills to manage it to an agreeable out come. An equally important les son in resolving conflict is to manage emotions. Both are crit ical in stopping the cycle of con flict. 243 Miller Road Akron, PA 17501 (717) 733-0353 6:30 AM - 3:30 PM (717) 859-2074 After 6:00 PM Newest Milk Stars En Kids To Explore Milk Gladiolus Bulbs Sikking Brother’s Inc. 't/a'UcCceA s4(uUt<t6te 856/691-9167 • Fax: 856/696-0077 @<xit OH fax ua fat pUtAA & motA Otfa. Square Pants in several new got milk? Milk Mustache ads launching this spring is an effort to show kids that milk is a lot “cooler” than they may think. Why Flavored Milk? Kids too often reach for a can of soda or juice drinks instead of milk. This could be the reason 90 percent of teen-age girls (ages 12-19), 70 percent of preteen girls (ages 6-11) and teen-age boys (ages 12-19) and 60 percent of preteen boys (ages 6-11) do not meet their daily calcium recom mendations. Experts are troubled by this statistic because a diet that is calcium deficient may help lead to stress fractures now and osteoporosis later in life. Fortunately, fun milk flavors like chocolate, banana and strawber ry offer kids great taste plus a package of nutrients all in one. Drinking at least three glasses of milk a day makes it easy for kids to get the bone-building calcium and other nutrients their growing bodies need. “Chocolate milk has always been a favorite among kids, and the dairy aisle now offers even more kid-friendly flavors like strawberry and banana. Because flavored milk has the same es sential nutrients as regular milk and about half the added sugar found in regular soda and most juice drinks, parents can defi nitely feel good about stocking up on these nutritious new bever ages,” said Cindy Weimer, spokesperson for the Pennsylva nia Dairy Promotion Program. Power Up With Milk When Cartoon Network’s The Powerpuff Girls aren’t fighting off the bad guys, they power up with milk to grow strong and healthy bones. Their new milk mustache print ad shows Bub bles, Blossom and Buttercup sporting the latest in milk mus tache fashion banana, choco late and strawberry-flavors. The 20 Lkrica^tfeV-f^inftfri^, 1 -b^ courage Flavors ad launched March 13 in Cosmo Girl and copy reads: “Banana, Chocolate and Strawberry milks are tasty and yummy with vita mins and minerals to help you play hard. Once again, the day is saved.” Another “Malcolm in the Mid dle” Milk Fan Erik Per Sullivan, Dewey of “Malcolm in the Middle,” looks up to big brother Malcolm who recently appeared in a milk mus tache ad. And, like most little brothers, Dewey had to have what big brother’s having...milk! This month Dewey appears in his own milk mustache ad sport ing a chocolate flavored mus tache. He wants moms to tell their kids chocolate milk is better for them than soda because milk includes nine essential nutrients growing bodies need. Dewey’s ad debuted March 19 in USA Today and Time Magazine with copy that reads: “They’ll drink it Lf they know what’s good for them. Chocolate milk has the same nine essential nutrients as regu lar milk and is a more nutritious treat than soft drinks. Tell your kids. They’re all ears.” Spongeßob’s Got the Secret to Soaking Up Milk’s Nutrients Nickelodeon’s Spongeßob Square Pants is “soaking up” the health benefits of chocolate milk as the latest celebrity to don a milk mustache in the popular got milk?®/Milk Mustache cam paign. Spongeßob and his starf ish friend, Patrick, remind kids how fun it is to drink on choco late milk mustaches in a new television commercial and print ad. The print ad debuted in March issues of Sports Illustrat ed for Kids, Disney Adventures and Nickelodeon magazines with the ad copy. “Milk Mustaches don’t last long when you’re a sponge. Which means I may have to drink another glass of yummy chocolate milk. Or two. Or three. Or four.” ome Canning Program BEAVER (Beaver Co.) In recent years, canning has reemerged as a popular way to preserve food. While it is an excel lent way to enjoy your favorite foods throughout the entire year, safe canning methods are important and necessary to protect your family and friends from con tracting a foodbome illness. Penn State Cooper ative Extension will be conducting Blue Rib bon Basics for Can ners, a program pro viding tips to successfully can foods and enhance chances of winning the blue ribbon at your local fair. This session will provide safety inform ation and judging cri teria for home-canned fruits, vegetables, meats, and pickled products. The program will be conducted on Apr. 10 at Penn State Beaver in Monaca from 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m. To regis ter, call (724) 774-3003.
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