On Being Farm Wif (and other hazards) Joyce Bup New shipment to be sent in about six weeks! Century of Farming The first shipment of Century of Farming has already sold out. Century of Farming is the book that recalls family involvement and the historic significance of agriculture's heritage in the last 100 years. This treasure chest of memories includes 120 pages of old photographs from the family albums of readers of Lancaster Farming. In addition, Editor Newswanger has written a preface that takes you from the "Golden Age" of agriculture as the 20 th century began, through the Depression and on to the tremendous contrast of biotechnology. The response in sales has been almost overwhelming. And after we ran out of the book, we still had a big stack of orders from disappointed people who really wanted a copy-- especially after they saw it. Therefore we have arranged with the printer to do another run to fill the orders we have in hand and some extra for those who still would like to send in for a copy. We expect delivery to be in about six weeks. If you have sent us a check, money order, or put your order on a credit card we will apply your order toward one from the next shipment, unless you tell us not to. If you want to still order a book(s) use this order form and send it to Lancaster Farming today. Orders will be taken on a first-come basis. Century of Farming, A Pictorial Review j Please enter my order for: I copies of Century of Farming, A Pictorial Review at $34.95 (sales tax included) per book. I Please find enclosed my payment in full of $38.90 ($34.95 + $3.95 mailing) per book. Make checks payable to j Lancaster Farming. My mailing address where I want to receive my book(s) is as follows: I Payment Method Check or Money Order Master Card Visa , Discover Chg. Card No Mail to: Lancaster Farming, Box 609,1 E. Main St., Ephrata, PA 1752? — t Name Address. City Phone. Carefully wnie in your ACCOUNT NUMBER (all digits) | | | Exp. Date. Signature. “Get the best, smartest, fastest ways I’ve learned to do just about everything.” Well geez, I think, I sure could use some smarter, faster ways to do lots of things. So I slit open this shiny, colorful, “personal” invita tion from home-arts guru Martha Stewart, mostly just to see the free gift inside. Inside was a plastic stencil of the sun and a quarter-moon. Just what I need. But, with year-end and year-beginning accounting details, tax records finalizing, and extra holiday activities, calendar tuming-time always seems to fly A pictorial history of farming from 1900 to 1999 as presented by readers of Lancaster Farming. Everett R. Newswanger, Editor Lancaster Farming Publisher State/Zip. Lancaster Farming, Saturday, January 15, 2000-811 by in a blur. Maybe Martha had some tips here that could help me. What I found in the “personal” invitation, along with the free plastic stencil, was a free guilt trip. What’s wrong with me? Our decorative candles (which I do love to bum for their wonderful fragrances) are no longer pristine perfect, like Martha’s. Nor are they surrounded by tastefully de corated fresh pears set on a bed of shiny green leaves and clusters of bittersweet berries. No indeed. Our decorative can dles are burned down to a nub and surrounded by a whimsical assort ment of cushy, “stress relief’ squeezable cows. Our grandsons love the squeeze-cows, utilizing them as decorator accent pieces artfully tucked into choice spots ranging from hidden in the house plants to peeking at us from under the television set to swimming in the bathroom sink. Did I mention those cows are tastefully appointed, in stylish black-and-white, with colorful accents and the finishing, humor ous touch of plastic sunglasses? Hey, we may be plastic, but we’re chic plastic. What’s wrong with me? While Martha wants me to have rooms graced with just the right lighting. I’m tickled if the bulb doesn’t blow when I flip a switch. Which happens in bunches at our house. Wonder how Martha hand les voltage surge fallout? What’s wrong with me? Artsy-craftsy is fun, but when would I ever concoct pansy pil lows or a strawberry pot? Our cur rent favorite art takes the form of Sunday School nursery creations and holiday cards. Interspersed with those are some highly imaginative modem stuff done in swirls of green and yellow crayon, “tractor” drawings made by tiny, precious hands. We even have sculpture, thank you very much, assorted magnetized shapes which can readily be displayed and ar ranged on either the fridge or the dishwasher gallery. Martha would cringe at our homey afghan throws on the couch which bear the name of a cow womer mingled in with the farm scenes. Our frail, aging housecat, doesn’t care a hoot ex cept that they be soft and snuggly, even if The Farmer does snitch them from her while he watches TV (with his eyes closed). And she’s likely to be aghast at the cheap generic rug under the coffee table which has replaced the hand braided one my mother gave me years ago sparing the destruc tion of the sentimental one from Darrah Dog, who shapes throw mgs into dog nests with her agile paws. In a final enticement, Martha coaxed me with pastel-colored ad vertising to speedily send back my order for more guilt, so that I might be one of the lucky first 50 return orders to be awarded a 52-piece cake decorating set. The cake decorating set which lived here for the last 30 years just moved to our daughter’s house ova 1 the holidays. With it, she was obligated to take the dust layer which had accumulated on it for the past 28 years. What’s wrong with me? Reality, that’s what. Sorry, Martha. Maybe next year. 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Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers