Page 4 - LIONS EYE - December 4, 1998 Opinion GH Peview Graduating Senior Speaks His Mind By Jim McGovern Lions Eye Staff Writer : This will be my final semester at Penn State, (Thank God), for after 145 weeks I am finally graduating. Now over the years I’ve had a lot of classes, and on those rare occasions when I’ve let my mind wander while the teacher was explaining something or other, I jotted down some sayings, some my own, others borrowed. So I’ve sifted though all 1,427 thousand of them and selected some of the ones I thought might be of most interest to you. Now these aren’t profound, particularly funny, or even informative, but like I said, I'm graduating. I don’t care. I wrote them down, so I guess they must have been important once. So read on if you want, and if you don’t, cool. -One hour and fifteen minutes is too long for a sane person to sit in one place. -Never use the line “This class sucks” as an opening when trying to pick up the guy/girl sitting next to you in class. The teacher might just be their father. -Never buy a soda at the Penn State cafeteria. (a buck twenty-five?) -Stay home on rainy Tuesdays. -The more expensive and boring a book is, the greater the chance they won’t buy it back. -A #1.5 pencil works just as well on any standard grid sheet exam as a #2. -Always carry a quarter in case your “Car breaks down” call you teacher from the nearest gas station if this unfortunate event causes you to miss a test or a paper deadline. , SO you can -Know your classmates. In order to excel at a college level, you don’t have to be smart, only smarter than 85% of them. -Never schedule an 8:30 class after your first semester. -Keep 15 bluebooks on you at all times. Money is made in times of crisis. -The best teachers you will ever have won’t require attendance. -Penn State is a massive, faceless bureaucracy held together by a com puter network that is down 50% of the time. Use it to your advan- tage. -Never trust a guy with just a mustache. (You can never be sure he doesn’t moonlight as a porno star.) -Be wary of people who claim to know all the answers. They ask the least amount of questions. -While in class, sit still, don’t talk, smile, and nod whenever the teacher tells you something. That way, you’ll never be noticed. -Always sit by a window. -If I wasn’t so lazy, I would have saved myself twenty-grand (to be paid back, with interest, in installments of 200 dollars a month for the next ten years) and just have gotten a library card. A last resort when you can’t find a spot? Photo by Phillip Yi Tragedies, Triumphs, & Tribulations of ’98 By Rob Coyle Editor-in-Chief 1998 was quite a year, wasn’t it? Being a major sports fan, I am in- clined to start there, because basically, sports are the one thing that won’t let you down...right? Well, then the NBA went on strike, Mike Tyson’s mental health records were exposed to everyone via the Internet, the Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley Cup again, the U.S. Hockey team trashed their hotel rooms in Nagano, the Eagles suck, and people actually protested when Sammy Sosa won the National League MVP. But there was some good to even out the bad. Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire both broke the age-old single season homerun record of 60 held by Roger Maris, and in the process breathed life into America’s past time, base- ball. And any basketball fan will remember the NCAA tournament, with all those upsets, and Valpo making the Sweet 16. It was the types of thing mov- ies are made of. Speaking of movies, it was also the year of the blockbuster, with hits like Armageddon, There’s Something About Mary, Deep Impact, Blade, The Truman Show, and Enemy of the State raking in millions and millions of dollars; and then there’s the biggest hit of them all, Saving Private Ryan, ‘arguably the most realistic war movie ever made, which is the run-away fa- vorite for Best Picture. Entertainment aside, 1998 had some big news stories as well. Swiss Air flight 111 crashed into the Atlantic Ocean, killing everybody on board, while contraversy surrounded the pilot’s reasoning for not landing sooner. A horrid increase of child violence arose, with children going on murderous rampages in their schools throughout the country. There were the bombings of the American Embassies in Africa, and then the ill-timed and ill-planned bombing runs ordered by Clinton. 1998 also saw the death of one of America’s most loved performers, Frank Sinatra. But there was some good events, even though they might be hard to ‘easily recall. John Glenn became the oldest man involved in a space mis- sion, at age 72. Hopefully his efforts will pave the way to a bread of healthier, more active senior citizens. And Jesse “the Body” Ventura won the race of governor in Minnesota (is that good or bad?). It shows how disturbing most of the news stories were this year when those are the best, and only, two stories I can think of. So 1998 is almost gone, and through all the tragedies, triumphs, and tribulations, I am confused on only one matter: What’s all of this about a blue dress? Sounding Off About the Evil Parking Situation By Sarah Stover Lion's Eye Staff Writer Being a sophomore here at Penn State Delco, I have noticed a slight difference from last year to this one: the parking lots are turning into war areas. Because there are so many more freshman this semester, the parking lots have become much more crowded. Finding a space that is not in the back of the parking lot can many times become a battle between students. Every day, I see cars roaming up and down the alleyways between parked ~ cars looking for that “close” spot. And, everyday, I also see students, in their cars, fighting over a spot, some of which are still occupied by students in their cars getting ready to leave. I don’t know about you, but one of the most annoying things in the world is to have someone in a parking lot waiting for you to leave so they can steal your spot. Many a time I have been “followed” by students in their cars while I was walking to my car so they can sit and wait (holding up people behind them) for me to unlock my car door, get in, adjust my seat, put my seat belt on, and finally to reverse and drive away. When people do that to me I feel like deliberately taking 10 minutes to pull out just to frustrate them. I feel like yelling at these people — like they don’t have anything better to do than to drive around and wait for other students to leave when the whole entire back of the parking lot is practically empty. Well, I have a quick, simple and easy solution, it’s called: WALK. We shouldn’t be that lazy as a society that we can’t walk an extra couple hundred feet to get to class. The situation is only going to get worse as the campus expands and more students enroll. My advice—save yourself the time it takes to drive around and look for that “close” spot and just park in the back. You’ll probably get to class quicker and believe me, you’ll save your- self and others the headache of fighting over parking spots.
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