March 4, 1994 — LION’'SEYE — Page 5 Commentary Kerrigan Wacked; Bobbit Diced Just Where Will It All End? By John Tunstall Somewhere in a plush Manhattan boardroom CBS executives smile in anticipation of the sacred event. There eyes are glued to the their god, television, as an ice princess spins through the air. The outcome and eventual winner are really not that important, for they are the true winners tonight. The follies of two young women have captured the imagination of the - world. Itis an amazing feat when you consider that neither was expected to even medal in thee Olympics. Instead, we have Reebok extoling the cosmic struggle of good and evil with reigning bad boy Nike. Right and wrong are hard to define in 1994, the year violent melodrama. It is only February, and we have watched the burning of an occult, a diced Bobitt, the gun-ho "Tonya, the bad girl, will go overkill, with talk shows and telemovies, and probably show a little skin along the way." Menendez brothers, and the circus act of Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding. Thankfully nobody takes the Olympic ideal of representing your nation too seriously. There will be no loser for our American women figureskaters in Lillehammer. This year everyone will come home with the most coveted prize, the green. Look for Nancy, our sweetheart, to become the real life Snow White on ice for Disney. Also, books, movies, and commercials, whatever you can slap her face on. Tonya, the bad girl, will go overkill with talk show and telemovies, and probably show a little skin along the way. Don’t worry about mothers, estranged husbands, and other sordid associates, everyone will get a piece of the pie as lawyers pile lawsuites to the ceilling. With movie rights sold, maybe we can get a Christmas release of the Nancy and Tonya saga to raise season’s spirits. Oliver Stone, the true conspirator, should be the only choice for director. With actual film footage of the attack on Kerrigan, Stone could revamp reality with fiction, like in JFK. What was Zapruder doing in Detroit that day? Could Stone link the attack to the Industrial Military Complex? Wait and see. The two girls are a little too stiff and icy to play there own roles, but casting parts should be easy enough. Julie Roberts, another American sweetheart, could play the broken ,yet overcoming, victim. The role of Harding needs a Hollywood imp with bad girl appeal. Drew Barrymore or possibly Shananon Doherty with hip padding would fit. John Candy would play Shawn, the bumbling bodyguard. I can never remember the name of that nasty husband of Julie Roberts in Sleeping With the Enemy, but he can play a great rat. He would be evil Jeff Gillooly, mastermind. Don’t expect any awards from this production. The Olympics have had a conclusion, but this story is just heating up. Hopefully you are as burned out as I am with the whole mess. Can we let Connie Chung barbecue some other newsmaker for the grand cause of ratings? CNN and Court TV lick their collective chops for Tonya on the witness stand. It will be this year’s fourth edition of “America: Land of the Violent,” from Waco to whacked knees. All of this is big bucks and sometimes a lot of great TV. Well, at least it is conversational. As a young and fledging entrepreneur, I considered what devious and inhumane act I would be willing to endure for seven digits and pop icon status. I'd offer up a knee right or left. But, I am not really into the finality of death, and losing my penis wouldn’t come at any price. Welcome to the new class of -millionares: “ The Young and the Painful”. In our own live version of Late Night, UNITED PARCEL SERVICE seeks rising stars to work PART-TIME as PACKAGE HANDLERS on our RV RCTOR od \V BEY 11h 3 GF: Ye XV ll TUES TAWA Y Td o Tod 8 oF: Tei | FR 4 TART) ‘inicum Township. * Work a minimum of EE LIVIA Te |g) Sg TTe |g CYANVZ-T:) 5] United Parcel Service and earn $8.00/hour! Guarantee your appearance at UPS. Call today! fl NR TATE REV @ {eT Teo od a TIE:Yo 110] g TE: W =X To [14 ) CF Call our automated employment hotline: 1-800-727-6734 So]UE:1 Wolo] olela(BlaltaV/L Nil dant: 1d MA R=Terd [oY al =1 nat 0] (O}VZcT gh Opinion & Review bt \\ ay a Col PR THR Tra GUN an IS Te A ARE. GRTTING CLOSRR TOGETHER.” Semi-Automatic Weapons In Midst Of Fiery Controversy By Eric Lahr I agree that state governments like Pennsylvania’s are correct in regulating the sale and use of semi- automatic assault handguns and rifles. The number of people killed in the United States due to these weapons is unbelievable. “Some 150-200 million firearms are in civilian hands, with guns accounting for about 30,000 deaths a year,” according to a recent article in U.S. News and World Report. Many of the victims were killed by semi-automatic weapons. Since semi-automatic assault weapons are designed for military use. Why should any civilian need to own one? Semi-autos are made specifically for use against people. This is why many criminals choose them. I cannot understand why the N. R. A. is so opposed to regulation when they know exactly how criminals, as well as soldiers, use these deadly weapons. I am a hunter and own several guns myself. Every year I go to the local shooting range and shoot my hunting rifles at bull's eye targets to prepare for deer season. Many people who shoot at this range have semi- autos. A large number of them look like maniacs as they laugh while spraying their human-shaped targets -with scores of bullets. I feel uneasy knowing these people have access to such weapons. They are not what I would call sane and peaceful human beings, displaying actions like this. The Pennsylvania and New Jersey state governments are trying to make their states safer for everyone including N. R. A. members. How could anyone oppose the protection of their own lives? Semi-automatic weapon control still has a long way to go in both states. The same is true for many of the Southern states where few laws restrict the sale and use of semi- autos. (Continued on Page 7) Got Something to Say? Send it to the Lion’s Eye! Set To Make A Difference, SGA Is Ready For Spring By Mike Doyle The fliers were all around campus: "Student Government biweekly meetings. All students, welcome.” Last semester I attended a meeting and was pleasantly surprised at how well the meeting was run. Since only Jodi Del Rossi, the new SGA President, remains from last semester’s officers, I decided to go to a meeting and see how things have changed. I attended the February 16 meeting and after everyone had their first helpings of pizza and soda, the meeting was about to begin. Jodi and Rita Varano ran the meeting. Joyce Rigby was a guest speaker and - discussed make-up time for lost classes due to the weather. She informed the group that spring break would not be canceled, but individual teachers would not be prohibited from making up classes during the week. Her main reason for being there, however, was to get student feedback on extending the semester by two days and holding exams on Saturday, May 7. Many questions and concerns were raised, and the feelings were split about evenly on the subject. After Ms. Rigby left, Jodi and Rita updated everyone on where events stood and opened the floor for ideas. The meeting seemed successful and productive. Some students complained that the meeting ran a little long, but I disagree. What really impressed me was that the school administrators actually asked for the students’ opinion, which leads me to believe that the SGA actually has some say in what goes on around here and can make a difference.
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