other than The Highacres Collegian, since the paper would be composed of only my input. It would be The Lives and Times of...YOur Editor. It would cost us more to print all that, and my layout people would im peach me,and then I'd be depressed and flunk ottt of college, so how about let ting me hear from you? I would rather be too busy to do everything I had to do than bored out of my mind. Wear me out! See if I can't handle it! I'm loose. (Shut up, Brian!) Like the song by my third favorite group goes, people are people. Don't judge them unless they're really extremely weird like some of my roommates. Hi, Bob! This paper should re flect not only current events around Pennsylvania State University's Hazleton campus, but also the ideas and attitudes of the stu dents...that's you. What ever those opinions may be. Maybe your ideas and opin ions won't thrill everyone who reads them or win you a position on the Student Government Association, but then again, maybe they will, so give it a shot! I don't care what or who you write about. Conformism sucks don't be a fol lower if. you're incapable of doing so. That's what college is all about...be yourself, not another com puter printout number. May be someone will laugh at you or beat you up, but at least they'll know what's on your mind. I'm not a rebel, really. (Eric, I don't want to hear it!) I'm respectful but expect the same in return. I'm/not a Nihilist. (Are you going to give me extra credit for using that word in my editorial, Mr. Pierucci?) I don't want-a boring little Sunday Parade section newspaper like I had to deal with in high school. Too many rules and regulations. I am extending a formal invitation for anyone to write for The Highacres Collegian, whether you're on the staff or not, whether you come to 'the meetings or not. I want to be overwhelmed with ma terial. Just see me, put it in my mailbox, or put it in the mailbox of the approp riate editor. You have a 99% chance of getting pub lished. I'll put your wri tings in unless there is absolutely no space left whatsoever (and in that event, it'll probably end up in the next issue), or unless I hate you. Then I won't print your material. If you want me to reply to what you have painstakingly thought through, address your paper(s) to Letters to the Editor. If you don't want to hear from me, if it's not the type of mater ial that necessitates (or deserves) a reply, if it's just a comment or something general, address it to Pro files-or give it to one of my Profiles editors. You can make comments about me and/or the paper, whether they be positive or nega tive (see photo: do I look like I care?), you can write about Penn State or your courses or your pro fessors or your love life. Anything. I'm open to criticism if you think there might be a better way of doing something. Let me know! No, I'm not done yet! Sit down! I can also use puz zles of many types, short stories about whatever you're convincing at wri ting about, and poems (any body have a knack for verse?). Journalism majors, this is the opportunity of your lifetime. Don't pass it up. What a bargain! I can always use artwork if anyone has time to show off his/her talent. Make sure you use black ink on typing paper, though; if you don't, it probably won't print. Then you'll have wasted hours and hours of your time and I'll laugh right in your face and call your parents collect and tell them what a stupid thing you've done. Please don't draw genitals. If anybody's interested in doing music reviews, the area is wide open. Specify what year the album or single was recorded; pre-1982 music , will be hereafter considered "old" music, and anything con ceived in 1982 or there after is "new" music. There will probably be two sepa rate columns. Have you read any good books lately? Members of the Science Fiction Club, especially...what better way to share your wierd experiences with 1200 people. You could also do a review on a textbook, if you're into it...ask your professor if (s) he'll give you a higher grade. It's cheaper than a bribe! Subject matter is wide open, but be careful with language that some might consider foul. Once in a while is okay, if it adds something to the article, but not excessively. I'll bleep the words out like they do on live television, using the first letter of each word, like this: . There-will be no question as to what your meaning is, but _I won't print the word .itself. I don't want to be accused of running a smut paper. Read The Enquirer if you want slotch. Articles should be typed or legibly written, double-spaced, one side of page only...standard form. Visible margins. Getting back to the Letters to the Editor department (me), I want to add that if your letter gets too per sonal for your liking, if you don't want readers to know who you are,. circle your name and write "no" in the top right corner of the page. I'd prefer to give bylines to all submissions (you'll be famous!), but if anonymity sounds better to you, I won't do it. If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, maybe I can help. There's a list of all the party places avail able for only two dollars ... never mind! I'm talking about problems with the recreational use of such substances. Something that may be serious to a reverend but not to a rationally-thinking person. If your problem is serious, such that it's interfering with your studies, atti tude, or possibly threaten ing your health, you might want to consider talking to Mrs. Gaffney, the nurse on campus (P-105), or your family doctor. Just get some help- -don't let it screw you up to 'the point of no return! I don't want to lose any readers! In addition, Mrs. Gaffney will be doing a Health column, so address any questions you have and feel might be beneficial to others to her. If your problem involves sex, I'll try to help if I can, but what do I know? I can't teach you how to do it better--well, maybe I can--but hey, if you're ugly, I can't do anything about it. If you have a very serious problem con cerning sex of course you can talk to your advisor or a close friend, or go to a psychiatrist if you can afford one, but maybe you'd feel more 'comfortable tel ling a fellow student about it? I'm not as expert as is Dr. Ruth (I know her per sonally), but maybe I can help. As I said, I have twenty-one roommates...one of us could answer.you, I'm sure. Confidentiality assured. Furthermore, topics are not limited to boy-girl re lationships if you're not (or only halfway) inclined to them. Bisexual or gay students' opinions are just as welcome. Coming from Harrisburg, I've seen 69% of everything (that was a joke) and am not surprised. This is 1985. Statistical - ally, with 1200 students at Penn State's Hazleton cam pus (I don't have exact figures), at least seventy five of you are turned on to your own kind. You have a friend in Pennsylvania! No, I am not an underground dating serivce; I don't have time, but if I get enough response, something of that sort will be in the making. See Dr. Frankel. If you're into animals, I don't want to know! We're all adults now, but come 0n... Are those of you who are conservative and redneck offended by me? Good! Grow up!
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers