page YOUTHQUAKE by Daniel Kane Editorial for The Highacres Collegian My daddy would go crazy If he knew what his baby was... Spendin' his life doin' --Dead or Alive Watch out Here I come... You spin me round, round Baby round, round Like a record, baby Round, round, round, round... --Dead or Alive THE MAD CHARMIN BOMBER STRIKES AGAIN! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! A little about me... My favorite groups are, first and most importantly, Dead or Alive. Then Van Halen. I really don't have a choice...l think my room mates have between them selves every song David Lee Roth has ever made! Other favorites are Tears for Fears, Shannon, Prince, Culture Club, ,New Edition, Wham!, Led Zeppelin, Dio, Aiphaville, Diana Ross, Rick Springfield, Sheena Easton, The Scorpions (when I'm hard-up for a tune - -can anybody find a good radio station around here?), I liked Silk, and yes (don't laugh!), I even appreciated Marty Bear. I like anything but country and western. My favorite types of movies are science fiction and horror, but on the other, more "valuable" side of entertainment, I can ap preciate educational, PBS-type stuff if it's really good. Among my favorite movies are the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Lifeforce, Carrie (an oldie but goodie), Halloween (I, 11, and III), and Star Wars (I, 11...h0w many?), until I outgrew it. Wh's'up? For those of you who don't know me (is there anybody who doesn't know me?), my name is Daniel Kane. You can call me Dan, or you can call me Danny, or you can just say "yo, dude," as long as you're looking straight at me and I'm looking straight at you...l'p no good with names, and I'm sure I'm not the only one! I'm a fresh man, this is my first term, and I'm 5'9" tall. I weigh about 190 pounds, but it's pretty well- proportioned. I've already gained a few pounds since I got here...l think from all the times I made spaghetti for break fast when my roommates drank all the milk. I have brown, curly hair (like Brother Mark - 'cept his feels like a Brillo pad. Mine's softer and more fun to play with. Hi, Mark!)_ have a blond tail in the back which is about three inches long by now. But don't take my looks as definite. If you dig this paper out in a couple of months (please don't use it for a birdcage liner - -do you realize how long it took to think up this edi= torial?) The basic face should be the same, but I'll probably have bright red hair, sometime in Jan uary, or a blue tail. I wear a feather ea r - ring - -well, ear clip, ear band...what's the local terminology for one of those things? It's my trademark. My ear isn't pierced. Who cares? At the present I'm a four-year Business major with an interest in Ac counting. I don't know, though, if that's the route I'll finally f0110w...1 don't think I could sit from nine to five balancing books. I'll probably switch to Liberal Arts sometime in the future because I have a definite interest in deaf ness. I'm interested in becoming a translator or teacher of deaf high school or college students. I'd be active, to say the least. Maybe if I can lose my ex tra weight I'll be a male model. My Social Security number is 162-56-9959. I plan to stay at Hazleton for two years and then transfer to U Park, if the grades stay where I want them to (what are you laughing at?). I think the small size of Hazleton is great; this is my first experience away from home for any extended period of time and the closeness made it easier to adjust to independent living. My roommates and I were like best friends in two days. It's better than I ever expected. Except that they don't let me sleep for more than three hours at a time. I have twenty-one roommates, who eat all of my mom's home made potato salad. My mother is very popular around here. I am a philanthropist by nature --I like being with people and meeting new friends. I love to party, but I shouldn't go into that now. What the hell, I'm the editor! I smoke too many cigarettes and I'm a moderate drinker. Some times. I don't smoke pot. I'm high on life! I live off campus. Downtown Hazleton is a depressing experience like none I've ever had before. I hate my east side neighbors. Of course, I'm only general izing; I'm sure they're not all like that...they can't all be like that! They've called the landlord about five times now. And the police department knows who we are. (And they're not thrilled. And the feeling's mutual; this hick town's progressive fines-as-you-go are getting to be too much for me.) Is anyone inter ested in making some quick bucks? I have a job for you... I feel bad for you locals who grew up here. What do you do? It seems to me that every • non-student goes to bed about nine o'clock. Sometimes between eleven and midnight the streets are rolled up and put away for the night. Give me a break! I'm having a hard time adjusting to the night life here, coming from Har risburg's vicinity, where any, action desirable is going on till about five o'clock in the morning. (Wh's'up, Eric?) It's al most as wild as New York City. I've never been there, but my roommate Brian (Hi, Brian!) has told me a lot about it. I tell people I'm from Harrisburg, because Middletown, Penn sylvania doesn't count. Until Three Mile _island almost took us all with it in 1978 people just looked at the natives in confu sion--where did you say you're from? Middletown is fifteen or thirty minutes south of Harris- burg, de pending-on who is driving. Half of my time last summer was spent in Harrisburg-- Middletown is as downbeat as Hazleburg after dark. The operihess and friend liness of fellow Penn Sta ters is amazing to me. I am enjoying this new life to the limit. Hopefully, this enthusiasm and motivation will last until exams are finished! I have four years _of exper ience in the field of wri ting for a school news paper, and one year of ex perience as an editor. But don't let the short amount of time fool y0u...1 know what I'm doing. I want this paper to be memorable, something that will go down in history like the Alamo or the day Dean McCain's ... never mind. I want this paper to be like one this campus or any other has ever seen before. I want to set records! I want to set advertising and expansion records. We've been out of business for a couple years, so it's about time, right? Since I run the show, almost anything goes as far as content and style. lam a higly motivated guy, and I want to know what's on everybody else's mind, not just my own. I already know what's on my own mind.. I could probably fill every issue, but then I'd have to think of a different title
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers