PAGE 2 - HIGHACRES COLLEGIAN, OCTOBER 29, 1973 Catch Fred Kolet without a smile. Write a'position paper without losing a little sanity. Get uneour milk from the milk machine or change back from your quarter. So add a little fun to your life, joust a windmill today! edna: the poor studentfs philosopher The COLLEGIAN STAFF enjoys the reputation for, at Ames, accomplishing the impos Bible. To the other Don Quixote types in this world, I offer this list of impossible dreams. It is nearly impos sible t 0... Find your advisor when you need him. Fit a bushel in a peck. Stop a rumor (unless of course you disperse the collective group.) Say "NO" to a tearful plea. Find many students with enthusiasm. Big! lams Tallpgtatt BOARD OF DIRECTORS John Busher...Editor-in-Chief Maria Rovito.Executive editor Dale.Valck..Business manager Linda Gallagher. Managing editor Fred Kolet.Production,manager Lawrence auhre.Faculty advisor STAFF NEWS: L. Gallagher-editor. D. Berger, C. Kokinda, N. Meiser, M.J. Rovito„ C. Tito. TAINMENT: J. Yatsko-editor T. Seo. FEATURE: D. Berger-editor. J. u :deriok, Edna, T. Urosevich. EDITORIAL: M.J. Rovito•-editor. A. Prichard. ADVERTISING: D. Walck-manager. . Gallagher, J. Hoppey. I PHOTOGRAPHY: M. Dehke, C. Tito. SPORTS: M.A. Delazio-editor. B. Michael, C. Shenosky. COMPOSITION: F. Kolet- manager. D. Bayer, L. Gallagher, R. Herschel, J. Hoppey, Rovito, D. Serfass, D. Walok. The COLLEGIAN is located in Ithe Publications office in the S.U.B. game room. A BERGER FABLE by DEBBIE BERGER Once upon a time long ago (but not so long ago as you may think) and far away (but not nearly as far away as you may think) there did abide two. wise Gray Squirrels who set out to seek their fortunes. Their travels brought them to a town call SUB, in the county of Highacres, in the kingdom called Hazleton. Here they made the acquaintance of *ir Ferguson, a noble rodent ial inhabitant of this village, who consented to share his knowledge of the SUB people with the two travelers. nerily," said Sir Fer guson, "methinks these good folks do harbor good feelings towards us rodents. They of ten sit themselves on the out skirts of SUB and endeavor to lure us to their hands by act - int like nuts." "That joke is older than I am wont to believe," said the first wayfarer. "Aye, it is a chestnut," added his companion. "I beg. forgiveness," said Sir Ferguson. "I have,been in the great hall of SUB, where state decisions are made." "We wretched varlets yield to thy greatness!" de clared the Squirrels in awe. "We beseech thee, do reveal to us what does occur in this place!" It has been named Game Room. Here I witnessed two high officials discussing bat tle maneuvers, utilizing a table of green felt reserved for this purpose. One of ficial sought to demonstrate his prowess with the slender cudgel and drives spherical weapons. Saith this one, 'Eight Ball in Side Pocket.' Ye may construe this strange language as the ravings of some miserable, possessed har lequins;'but nay, methinks this :is only some code known.only . rulers and wizards. "There stands also, in awesome majesty, a mysterious and powerful machine which shines with the motly flashes of many candles and resounds with ine din of thunder. The officials stand in supplica tion before this creature, prat tling,,muttering imprecations, and at intervals, raising a cry of 'Tilt!' At this point, the machine needs must cease its cavorting, as this, for sooth, is a secret command." "This knowledge is most valuable," said the Squirrels. "We prithee, what sage advice wouldst thou offer to two wan derers in this exotic land?" "I tell ye this," answer ed Sir Ferguson. "Get thee hence - -tarry not here. Gather thine acorns, for the chill will soon be upon us; conserve thine energy and cour age; and go in search of further adventure. Thou art possessors of much intestinal fortitude." So the wise Gray Squir rels obeyed Sir Ferguson, and went forth in search of the town called HUB, in - the county of University Park, in the kingdom called State College. IMPEACHMENT About three weeks ago, the American Civil 'Liberties Union came out in favor of the impeach ment of President Nixon. So far it is the first important national organization to take such a position. This is sure to be the first move in a long overdue campaign to gen erate more popular support for impeachment. With any luck such support will begin to snowball without one more bad move by Nixon such as dis obeying a Supreme Court order to turn over the tapes. The Union believes that there is already enough evidence for an impeachment proceeding. And indeed, there are many differ ent grounds on which impeach ment could begin. The strongest cases for impeachment concern the illegal wiretapping of various people and the burglary of Denial Ellsbergls psychiatrist's continued page three by ALAN PRICHARD
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